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Hi, My name is Kai. I was prescribed three meds in the first day. Those were Abilify, Agotine, and Topiramate. I took them instantly after the meeting with psychiatrist. I was very stressed. I felt not understood. But that wasn't the problem. The problem occured when I took the second dose after few hours. I started feeling a strange amount of satisfaction. It was night, and I felt as if I was in a kind of a transitional state. I remember feeling almost supernatural. There was a different day, which I guess I did almost the same thing after meeting the psychiatrist. I remember it was a day, and the dose might have been changed. Also there might have been added the new pill, Risperidone. I felt great agitation. I could not stop moving. I saw hallucination. I felt my world was melting down. My world was never the same after that. Honestly, I don't remember if those two were the same day or not. And many other things occured in the other days, but those were what happened when I was struck by meds instantly. The other days, I felt also very unreal. I felt my world was changing into something else. Since it was the first time I was using the antipsychotics, I thought this was what it was supposed to be doing. Later, I started losing my musical abilities. It happened gradually. One day suddenly, I simply wasn't able to play anymore. I still cannot play to this day. Before, I was great at many instruments. I was a musician by heart, feeling arts all throughout the world, loving the poetry and literature, and so on. I also loved movies, but those all disappeared. I was somewhere apart from the world I used to be in before. There was no 'me' anymore. No more interest, feelings, thoughts, memories. But I was still able to enjoy movies to some extent until I became bedridden. Being bedridden was when I was completely done in my life. At least that is what I felt. But while I was being bedridden, I slowly recovered in a strange way. It took a long time, and the recovery didn't show any promise of my previous self, I started to feel some normal feelings again, which was not really pleasing to me. I don't know if it was because I was being bedridden, relying on to my family, losing my independence and hope, but the reality felt much worse and resembled that feeling of unfortunate childhood that I've been through. I felt totally immature. I am very sorry my writing doesn't articulate anything good. I have tried to write this introduction since the beginning of this year, but it took so long to even be able to write something that doesn't look terrible. So since I know you, which are great people who chose to help, would kindly write replies to this pitiful writing, and if you do so and ask me for more specifics, I will try my best to tell more about my symptoms and situations. It also takes very long time for me to remember something, including what I ate for breakfast. Thank you.

Hello everyone, this is my first post. I want to start by saying that I am very grateful that this site exists, it has helped me and many others a lot to understand more about our subjective experiences with these drugs. I am 27 years old and I think I need help sorting out my sertraline experiences. It all started when I was 19 years old, I had a very bad, intense and emotionally overwhelming quarter life crisis. After a year and a half of being isolated at home, I was involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric ward when I was 20 years old. My treatment with Sertraline began there (see my signature), without informed consent, as usually happens. When I started taking Sertraline I was already very confused and scared, after that period of isolation, so it became even more difficult for me to understand what happened to me. I more or less rebuilt my life for the next few years. I remember that in 2018 I told my psychiatrist when I could stop taking the pills and she told me that I had to take them for the rest of my life (I have had a psychiatric diagnosis of OCD since my involuntary admission). I told her that I wanted to stop because of the side effects or something, she told me to try tappering and give it a try, to see how I was doing without the pills. In the end, after a while, I went back to taking the pills in the same amount as before, 50 mg. Now it's summer 2019, I don't remember much or clearly about that time of my life and those years. I think at some point I started tappering in September or so, but I remember that the last months of 2019, from October to December, I stopped and went back on the pills several times by myself, because I stopped going to my psychiatrist (probably because I didn't trust her and/or felt betrayed after being told I had to take sertraline for the rest of my life, no one told me when I took the pills in February 2017). It was chaotic. I decided not to take them anymore, and I became more emotionally unstable, I think I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms, but I didn't know then, my psychiatrist just told me very briefly about the "rebound effect". April 2020, it's the COVID-19 lockdown, my anxiety is very high and I don't like how I feel, I feel unstable, so I go back to 50mg again. I was already in bad enough shape, mentally and emotionally. I also lived with my parents and they stressed me a lot. I stayed on that dose until the last days of August 2020, when I stopped taking them cold turkey after 4-5 months of taking the pills. Then in September my withdrawal kicked in. But it kicked harder in the following months and June/summer 2021. This time, at the end of 2020, it also coincided with the end and breakup of a very toxic relationship that I had, which ended very badly for me. I lost control of my emotions and got stuck in a fight and flight stress/trauma response. I think in the last few months of 2021 and the first half of 2022 I also experienced very bad withdrawal waves. Back then, withdrawal was not something that was on my mind, I didn't think about it. In Jan or Feb 2021 I also took Sertraline again, I can't remember if 25mg or 50mg, for a one or two weeks, maybe three but I don't think I reached week three. I also think in 2019 that dose of sertraline didn't work anymore because of how I felt, I was probably experiencing withdrawal before I even quit Cold Turkey and/or tapped. For the next 3 years I have been trying to figure out what happened to me and learning about sertraline effects, side and adverse effects and withdrawal. I'm still recovering from all this chaos, it was too much. For the last year I have been trying to stabilize myself, my mind, and calm my body. My mind is still confused and shocked by the experiences I had, especially since September 2020, I have a hard time remembering many things, emotions and feelings that I had. I would like to hear other people's opinions and advice. Thank you for reading.

G'day SA community My name is Anthony and I have been lurking on this site for a few weeks and thought it time that I start my contribution. And hopefully get some well needed support without being too selfish. I would firstly like to preface my intro by thanking all the members, staff, moderators and founders of this site. It is helping me get through a dark time in my life that I have never ever experienced before. And it has been and still is scary. My story is long (as is most sufferers) so I will do my utmost to be as concise yet brief as possible without losing the important information. I would also like to take the opportunity to thank Aeroman in particular as His success story is what I have needed and his time and investment in answering all the questions from the members relating to his journey has been inspiring to say the least. I won't go into the usual diatribe about how I suffered as a child in a dysfunctional home from physical, emotional and mental abuse of which was the case but my story is more about the incompetent people in white coats we see as all knowing, professional, caring and are in their chosen field because they like helping people and not the money! It all started when I was 21 years old. I had recently finished my apprenticeship with a National Manufacturer as a HVAC & R Technician (Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning and Refrigeration) and was around two years into starting my own business. Things were going very well when all of a sudden and out of nowhere my heart started racing and I was feeling faint. It was fortunate and by coincidence that I was working next door to a Medical Centre. I literally crawled into the Medical Centre and was dragged by a lovely receptionist wo a consultation room. She got me glass of water and informed a doctor. Unfortunately by the time the doctor arrived my heart had suddenly reverted back to normal and I was feeling fine. Tired but, well. He did all the usual work up of tests, including a 24hr Holter monitor to check my heart but basically put it down to either dehydration (as it was the middle of summer here in Australia) or anxiety/stress. Anyway, I was given the all clear. A couple of years later, with out any warning, the same thing happened again. And then again. and then again and again and again. There would be sporadic episodes of this that would last from anywhere from 3 minutes to as long as three hours. It would also involve many Emergency Department visits, ambulance call outs, blood tests, tests for this or that, tests for something else more visits with a GP and yet nothing could be found other than that old chestnut. ANXIETY......STRESS......DEPRESSION. Duh...of course I'm stressed out, I am as anxious as all get up because I feel like my heart is either about to stop or beat so fast its going flop out of my chest.......and nobody can find what the...is wrong with me. So fast forward a couple more years and with still no answers I decided to start seeing psychologists, Chinese medicine Practioners, hypnotists, more GP's, more Psychologists, even a Psychiatrist who suggested the bad word.....Anti Depressants.........of which I have never been one to even take a paracetamol for a headache let alone nasty stuff like that. Well, they all promised they could resolve my anxiety and stress related heart problems but none of them ever did. I was eventually convinced by a psychologist (and my wife) to try Zoloft because I was one of those people that was either born with a chemical imbalance or I acquired one due to my childhood traumas. Well lets just say that those three days were what I thought at that time to be pure hell on earth. Stopped CT and straight in the bin with the free sample. With all the money I spent over the years I could have bought my own little Island retreat somewhere in the Pacific Islands. Fast Forward a few more years and continually dealing with my heart palpitations I got married, had two daughters, multiple businesses and generally a reasonably good time even though that this heart issue was hanging over my head constantly my Quality of Life was very restricted. Fast forward a few more years and Feeling pretty bad about this and being at that age where I wanted more out of life I hunted down a new GP who was the mother of my daughters best friend at school, I had known her a few years personally and my wife thought she would be able to help with this trouble that I was enduring. Well now is where trouble really starts but I did know that till recently. Into the first consultation and boom, out comes the Mental assessment questionnaire and what do you know, I have anxiety and stress bordering on depression. WTF? Being tired of all this I caved in, desperate for my heart to be normal I took the free sample of Lexapro with my tail between my legs, went home and told my wife who was ecstatic (in her defence she only wanted the best for me and a happy life with her husband and the big house and cars and white picket fence and she believed all the doctors saying I was mental blah blah blah). Sucked back my first tablet and went back to my life. Yeah, I thought my life was coming back and that these medicines really do work, why didn't I persist last time because I don't even think about my heart anymore.......A year down the track I went back to my doctor and told her that it feels like it wasn't working like it was 6 months ago, boom, up my dosed from 10mg to 20mg. Well well well, wouldn't you know it. 11pm on a Tuesday night I woke up, my heart was going crazy, I was ill, vomiting, fainting and feeling like I was going to die. Told myself to suck it up, it was all mental, I was mental, I have something seriously mentally wrong with me, the doctors and everyone said so.........three hours later I called for an ambulance, woke up my wife and kids and told them what was happening, my kids were freaking out......The ambulance arrived and as the paramedics came into my bedroom a thud and my heart slowed down to normal, I felt okay, all the stress and anxiety and ill feeling gone just like that. A two day stay in hospital with all the usual tests again and the doctor comes to see me, "Yep, unable to find anything, must be stress or anxiety". Great I thought. So much for Lexapro, time to get off this rubbish because I don't feel anything anymore, no fun, no anger, no happiness, nada......Two weeks later I tapered as per doctors advice and against her wishes I was off the AD's for good. Three months later I was back in her office begging for some relief, I was in bad shape, out of work and my wife again seriously wanted to go back on the meds or there would be repercussions maritally speaking. This time the Doctor said I now had Major Depression Disorder, those words alone stressed me out. Anyway, time to start the heavy hitting SNRI now, I was in bad shape she said..........Well two days later I ended up having another heart episode that was the worst I had ever had, I really thought that I was going to die, I screamed at my wife to call the ambulance, my kids started crying immediately, the Ambulance sent an Urgent care Hi-Priority paramedic who was in my bedroom hooking my with ECG leads all over my body, cannulas in both arms and then said quite casually..."It okay mate, no worries, your not dying....you got SVT. Just relax and Ill fix it for you in a minute I just have to get this ECG trace to show the docs and will get it done" What? SVT? Did I eat something bad, what is SVT. Isn't it anxiety? I asked the Paramedic. 'Nah" he says. Got nothing to do with anxiety. you may have anxiety from having this but having this is definitely not from anxiety" Anyway, a few valslva manoeuvres and a couple of jokes when the transport ambo turns up later I'm feeling quite calm. Off to the hospital for further tests and the Paramedics hang around for a while and with the Doctor explain to me what SVT is. Also known as PSVT (Paroxysmal Supra Ventricular Tachycardia). 24 years of my life chasing this, never not once did any medical or other professional suggest I go see a cardiologist but they were all too willing to take my money...............For those of you who don't know what PSVT is or don't want to use google, I had AVNRT (Atrio ventricular nodal re-entrant tachycardia) type of heart arrhythmia, there are several, of which I had an additional pathway next to my AV node causing my heart electrical conduction system to short circuit causing my heart to beat at extremely high rates which was captured on the ECG at 230bpm. Diagnosis meant that it was not life threatening, just very unpredictable and uncomfortable...No Joke! After my hospital stay I was referred to a cardiologist for follow but decided I should see my GP so I can stop the Prisitq because I have found out, after 24 years, that I am not mental, or at least the reason why I am a bit skiddish is because the actual heart problem. Again, my wife and GP convince me to stay on the Pristiq to just help get over the next couple of months until I sort out this heart arrhythmia and me, after all these years being brainwashed what did I do....I agreed, good idea, just to get me over the next hurdle because now I have to go and have a heart operation I need to be in the right mindset..............how stoopid am I? I am now back at home waiting to see the specialist cardiologist and everyday my mood is getting worse and worse. I am constantly crying, panicking, thinking I am going to die and I haven't even seen the cardiologist yet. This snowballs to the point that during my Consultation with the Cardio I was in a very bad emotional state my wife had to talk for me. When the Cardiologist found out I was on Prisitq he asked me why I was on this junk, I should get off it as quickly as possible, and medications like these are only for people who are in dire need of help and in Hospital. The Heart operation, Electrophysiology Study and Cather Abalation will resolve the heart issues and I won't have to worry about heart arrhythmias ever again. I informed him that my GP told me I needed to stay on them, well after that there was some correspondence back and forth from my Cardioligist and GP about this and finally my Cardiologist gave up. Operation day arrives and I go to the hospital, supposed to be a day procedure, should be home that night.......Two procedures and two weeks later I am sent home with some complications that the Electrophysiologist had some trouble sorting out. I wouldn't want to go into detail but I was an emotional wreck, my kids were destroyed emotionally as well I am happy to delve further into the complications during and after the procedure if anyone wants to know but, .Lets just say that I had almost, almost was going to have a pacemaker installed but thankfully it was found out that I had some complications from some "Medications" Namely a SNRI Pristiq. Basically I am still not right after three months and I am diagnosed with a condition called Inappropriate sinus tachycardia that needs to be controlled with some heart medications. Hopefully this will resolve with time. Nonetheless, I was totally traumatised by that event and I am struggling with it mentally still. So out of hospital I meet with my GP as I had lots of Chest pain, and irregular heartbeats etc etc and to finally get off the Prisitq. But no. now that I am in pretty much an uncontrollable state she suggests and refers me to a Psychiatrist to re-evaluate and possibly change medications and wants me to look at going to a Mental Hospital and to help get through the next few days while I am waiting for the Psych Doc appointment that I should start on Valium and Sleeping tabs to get me through. Wait, what. Now I'm treating this med with another med. Anyway, I'm so desperate ill do whatever......... Finally see the Psych doctor and she DSM's me as Panic Disorder only, stops the Pristiq immediately, but after three days break I need to start Lexapro again at 10mgs and then three days after that start 20mgs. Oh by the way, its because you have a chemical imbalance disease in your brain, you will need these the rest of your life, its like insulin for diabetics, most people are on these now, its what you need to live and get by........................................These nasty people play on your vulnerability!. Well I stopped the pristiq on a Wednesday. Thursday morning I woke up like a new person. No Crying, energy back, no dizziness, my heart was beating regularly and slowly and I felt brilliant. I told my wife that I didn't want to go on the Lexapro again but after some heated discussion, what she and the kids had been through recently and the potential issues going forward I handed my genitals back to her to put in her purse for safe keeping..........Start sucking those poison pills down again as directed by all those who had never been on this rubbish, two more weeks in bed feeling like death warmed up, headache, nausea, sore mouth, teeth sore everything, could not talk could not eat, that's when I woke up one morning and trashed the lot of pills in the bin. That was the day I Cold Turkey again Wrong move I know but boy, was I sick. The suicide ideation, the gory vivid dreams, the grim reaper and death is all thought about for those two weeks mixed in with insomnia. Well, I haven't recovered from these two weeks of Lexapro, they have changed something in me and I didn't get the relief I got from when I stopped Pristiq. This time Lexapro, only for two weeks has done something to me and I feel these withdrawal symptoms are going to take something special from me to get through...................These drug pushers need punishment for their actions. All these years of feeling intimidated by these charlatans and all along I had an issue that should have been resolved with a day procedure. Yes it was heart surgery nonetheless but still, my family and I are in a world of hurt now that was unnecessary. Thank You for letting me to get this out, I needed it. I am struggling with the WD side effects and I am concerned for the future and pain that is coming from this but I will no longer be controlled by these poison pills..........................

Hi Ginger, I was very encouraged by your experience with paxil recovery I saw on one of the threads. In January of this year I quit paxil cold turkey. I had been taking it for 24 months, the majority of it at 60 mg. I went through about a good two months of physical withdrawal symptoms. I thought I was in the clear after this but then I was hit by an episode of acute psychosis where I felt I was being stalked by someone. This went away and moved onto a fear of sollipsism "That the world is not real". I was originally taking the paxil for OCD. Now I worry that I have somehow permanently done something to my brain by going cold turkey. or that I have already lost my mind. Can you give me a little bit more detail about your experience or some advice to help me. I had to reinstate zoloft and also take ativan. Ginger's topic: Ginger: how I got here

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

Yes, it will feel like a miracle when it happens for you; and it will happen for you, it is just a matter of time. I want to get that out there first thing; it is my belief that we will all heal in time; it has happened for me and is continuing to happen and it will happen for you. Am I completely 100% done healing? No. Am I so, so much better? Oh yes! Now for some basics: Male, mid 50s, took zoloft for over 20 year, quit cold turkey 3.5 years ago, was off 5 months, thought I was relapsing, so started prozac for 3.5 months and then quit that cold turkey. Then I found S.A. and discovered what I was dealing with was not a relapse but withdrawal (and recovery). So yes, I did everything completely wrong and more than once! I am proof that given time we can heal. I currently just celebrated 30 months of being drug free. Now, how to begin to describe the inhumane torture that I have endured until very recently; not sure but I will try. I have gone through both the windows and waves pattern and the continuous misery pattern. I was one of those that suffered a great deal after quitting, but really got slammed at about 6 months off. At 1 year I was barely functioning; at 1.5 years I was still miserable, and at 2 years off I was wondering if I was doomed to endless suffering with no end. But now as I have hit the 2.5 year mark I feel as if I have turned the corner. Windows and waves general comprised the first year and then it became continuous misery for pretty much the next 6 to 12 months or more; and then back to windows and waves. My last serious wave was in months 25-26 and now finally what feels like solid progress the last month or so. I am hesitant to list symptoms because I know how much it use to scare me to read what others were going through; but on the other hand it really helped when a new symptom would start, because I knew it was part of the recovery process and not some disease or sickness, and most of these are gone or have become minimal although they lasted for months or years. And just because I experienced them does not mean that you will, we all have a very individual road to recovery; so here they are in no specific order: Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, tremors and pain in the back of my legs and calves, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, extreme bloating and stomach pain, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, feeling like a bomb had gone off in my head, floating head feeling, super-hot face, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite and weight loss, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, I could not read, listen to music, or meditate, heart palpitations, random traveling aching and stabbing pain throughout my body, headaches, and so many other symptoms that I can’t remember. The torture, pain, misery, suffering and utter despair was never ending…until it did finally start to end for me and it will for you too. Did anything help me along the way? I tried many things; acupuncture, vitamins and supplements, alpha-stim, gluten free diet, no sugar diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, and anything else I could do to try and feel better. Did it work? In a sense it all worked because it kept me focused on recovery and gave me hope when I had none, and the possibility that I might feel better. But time passing has been the real healing agent; although that was the last thing I wanted to hear when I was suffering so intensely. I did find that mindfulness, breathing exercises and physical exercise helped when all else failed and I was so truly desperate. Many hours were spent just trying to pay attention to my breath going in and out; and I still use this practice as a relaxation method. It also helped me greatly to visit this website daily as well as Benzo-Buddies. I read success stories for hours at a time, read the Bloom in Wellness facebook page each day and anything by Baylissa Frederick and also Don Killian. So, what remains for me? I still have tinnitus (although it has gotten much better over the last month), stomach bloating and pain on occassion, nerve pain, some brain zaps at night, fatigue and tiredness, and sleep issues. If I had to put some percentages on where I am at now I would say physically I am at about 85-90% healed and mentally/emotionally at 90-95% healed. I now eat anything that I choose although I eat as healthily as possible because I value life so much now and I want to live as long as possible; I exercise regularly and it feels wonderful; I enjoy caffeinated drinks including regular tea and coffee which I had given up for many months; I also drink wine and beer a couple times a week if I choose to and enjoy it. I am in the best shape since high school, and have lost 75 pounds (on purpose). Life is good again and just the simple things are more than enough to bring joy and happiness. So that is my story and I hope it will encourage you as you read it that you will recover and become yourself again. I remember reading similar statements in success stories and thinking, “Yea, right, that is easy for you to say, you are not suffering through this terrible hell right now!” And maybe you are thinking the same thing as I did, but please listen to my words; you will make it, you will recover, you will feel better, and you will join me in loving life once again; just please don’t give up or give in and keep going! As I sit here with a cup of coffee and contemplate what I have been through the last several years, it all seems so strange and foreign. Success stories promised that I would make it to recovery, and they were right, so now it is my turn to tell you that you will make it, “You will make it!”. Wishing everyone here all the best and a quick recovery. Please let me know if you have any questions and I will be happy to try and help. All my love. Pug

Orignal full title before shortening: 2 Months of lowest dose Mirtazapine, sufferin now for over 2,5 months of withdrawal I would set my signature up properly, but I just can't remember anything. Remeron/Mirtazapine withdrawal still leaves me with such a messed up memory that remembering only 2 things at a time causes me great problems. I can't tell which month I took my Effoxor back then, I'm not even sure about the year. Though I keep great track of the Remeron withdrawal, so at least I can tell that. If you don't want to read the whole story, I categorized the "drug" part in the Drugs section below. There is still some life story though. For the start, I'm currently 18 years old and a female. I was twice in mental hospitals seeking help for a problem that was solved with - you won't believe me - one sentence by my mom. One sentence just cured my whole condition. It may sound incredibly ridiculous, but seriously all of this that you'll read wouldn't have happened if somebody told me this one sentence at the very beginning. And I'm incredibly mad because of this, as I suffered and endured so much pain through the years because everybody was so desperate to prove that I had depression. At 13 years old I had a panic attack caused by a certain phobia which I mistook for suicidal thoughts. I admitted myself to a mental hospital to stay safe, as I was greatly scared that I would harm or kill myself. I spend there 1,5 months and they diagnosed PCOS-Syndrome (hormone problems) and "mild depression". They said I should spend more time with peers, as seemingly it was caused by having an inactive social life (I was quite the outsider at school and would remain. Not because I was shy or something, I was just always such an emotional-artist personality and had interest in completely other things than others my age, so I couldn't connect. Famous people or make-up didn't bother me at all.) On the contraceptive I felt much better, though it made me sleepy, but I needed, need and will probably always need it for without it my body completely breaks down, as the hormone imbalance is severe (more on that later). The phobia-episodes stayed away, emerging randomly for a few minutes sometimes but very rare, until age 15. I think the episode lasted there for half a year and little longer? They acted like panic attacks, up to 3-4 times a day and some days I was free from it. But I endured it, and though it may sound scary, looking back it actually wasn't so bad as I made it out to be when I went through it. At age 13 the panic attacks were much more rarer, you'll see why. So when I had those panic attacks, and I wondered why they were there, they seemed to have no cause, I blamed it on the contraceptives. So I was switched to another one, but I got very irritable on it and punched a wall for the first time ever in my life (I'm quite the peaceful person). The gynecologist didn't want to switch me on another contraceptive (as she was paid by this certain brand to only sell this one - literally posters of this contraceptive brand and calendars and cards everywhere in her place), so I stopped taking it. After few months, not many, my body began breaking down. I was dizzy most of the time, nauseated, I was constantly, literally constantly hungry, didn't have appetite though for anything, I was so fatigued I would sleep literally nearly the whole day, couldn't go to school, couldn't do anything really, and had quite the anhedonia. That was the worst, the anhedonia. Hormones can really, really do lots. Didn't have period for the whole year of no pill either. When my panic episodes (that I always called mistakenly suicidal episodes), returned I seeked help again desperately - and was admitted to a mental hospital again which mas psychosomatic in kind and didn't treat cases like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. 4,5 months there and no improvement, in fact, I got worse there. The therapist there was also a complete idiot and made just everything worse. He blamed my condition on the family (he'd wish he'd have such a deep bond with his mother), he blamed it on literally everything and called it "depression" all the time, though at the end of 4,5 months they still had no diagnosis because I literally did all paper tests they had and in all of them came out a very low scale of depression. They couldn't identify the cause at all. At first they thought Cyclothymia, then bipolar II, then depression, then this, then that, 4,5 months later we haven't got anywhere. Funny thing is, the therapist wasn't even fully licenced yet. He attended "further education" about psychotherapy. He barely knew anything. The psychiatrists there neither, because they told that "hormones can't do such a thing". Haha. I can attest they really, really do. I should have noticed he was not alright in the head after a few weeks when he told me I had sexual problems because I wasn't interested in sex enough. "Normally, people your age try around their sexuality with friends or so..." no thank you, I'll have my dignity. Next, I had an "oversensitive mother". She "worried too much." Who wouldn't about their child that has been unwell so long? "Normally people your age should go partying at night, and your mother doesn't let you..." first, I don't want to go thank you, second, yes, partying until 01:00 am somewhere in somewhere seems very safe and plausible. But my father who didn't care about me my whole life is the best one! The therapist tried to get me away more from my mother so I would get closer to my father and forgive him for not knowing "how to be a father", which I didn't do which again frustrated my therapist, and with every session he grew more frustrated that he couldn't manipulate me. Everything I spoke about in therapy I told my parents (especially mom), and everything that she spoke about with him in visits she told me. My therapist said he can't do proper therapy with me if I tell everything my parents. He sees a lack of "privacy" in this family. Everyone should have "secrets". What was unnormal to him is that we only have locks on bathrooms and on no other door. "I should be able to lock my door", he said. Which, if he really thinks I have depression, is the most stupid thing you can say. I won't even mentoin the documents I got when I got out of the hospital that he wrote, seriously you wouldn't believe what is written on it. -------------------- Drugs So after 4,5 months of no getting better, no improvement but worsening, they placed me on 37.5mg Effoxor which I responded to extremely quickly and really, really well. Within a few hours nearly my whole condition was gone. Even they were surprised that it acted so quickly, and that already the first one suited me so well, as usually people have to try around to find one that is good for them. Whether placebo or not, it did the thing it was supposed to do - so well that pharma companies could show me as an example of "miracle drugs". (I'm very sensitive to medications/caffeine etc., so I'm not surprised that a low dose works so strong on me). I had also very few side effects. I was placed a few days later on 75mg, and then my whole condition was gone. When I asked if antidepressants really numb feelings, the lead doctor said "no, the depression does that." Tells about everything you have to know about him. On my last visit to my therapist I told him they did nothing, only the drugs helped me. That he didn't like of course and in the documents I was counterargumentet that I "eagerly took part in all of their offered therapies". Yes, it was so boring there that I attended even courses that others couldn't go to and I went in their place instead. If we hadn't any courses - music, physiotherapy - I would take hour long walks with the others because else I woulg go crazy sitting there and doing nearly nothing. They wanted to keep me longer there, but I said "no", as fast as possible out of this place, they were all not alright in the head. And I got really fast out because my mother stormed in and shoved such arguments up their faces, especially my therapist, that he started shuddering. The locks, the "sexual problems", she had no mercy with words. Twenty minutes later I was out. A very few months later we went to another gynecologist, who is a fantastic one. There the PCOS syndrome was diagnosed again, and I was put on contraceptives again (my third) - I responded very well to this one. Unlike the first one, which was good too, this one didn't make me sleepy and I can function to this day without midday sleeps, which I needed on the first one. After half year of Effoxor I had to see my psychiatrist again, as the longer I was on the pill, the greater the "freezing headache" and numbing of the antidepressant came to light. Theory I strongly believe in, again THEORY - this was because the more I gained hormonal balance, the greater the serotonine etc. production functioned again and my body functioned more normally again - meaning, I didn't need the effoxor anymore and it started doing a little more harm than good now. So I was put off it, I was told to taper, but stupid me wanted so badly the numbing to go away that I did cold turkey. And compared to other cold turkeys I read, this one wasn't so bad. Dizziness, very strong headache, a bit of vomiting, that's all. On the second or third day though I took a 37.5mg pill again and tapered this time, opening the capsule and putting the little tablets out of it until only one of the little was inside. Then I had a week or two of mild withdrawal and it was over. As I said, poster girl for pharma with this drug. This year, 2022, on February my "suicidal episode" came back - and it didn't came back like before - this time it hit, at the same time, with such a panic attack that I hyperventilated so badly I got severe twitches and my eyes rolled up and teeth shuddered etc. an ambulance had to be called. They knew it was hyperventilating and I was calmed down with reduced breathing, because too much oxygen. It worked. But now I was left with such anxiety that I became extremely sleep deprived. When I visited my psychiatrist again (I had to wait 2 days for the emergency visit to him), he wasn't able to offer much help besides "taking up an antidepressant again". I said no, no antidepressants anymore. I asked for sleeping aid, so I would get a bit of rest after being much sleep deprived for two-three days. So he gave me a sleeping pill. Without telling me it's an antidepressant. Later I found out it is an antidepressant. Thank you very much. So I was given Remeron/Mirtazapine 7.5mg. When I started it, I became greatly suicidal, with urges to kill my myself and immense hopelesness that was drug-induced. During this time I seriously thought about assisted suicide (and still a bit traumatized because of it, as I never, never had before sucidal thoughts - the suicidal episodes were mistaken, I'll explain later.) I wanted to stop it after two days, but my mom said they need a bit of time to settle and then it'll get better. And it did, the suicidality vanished. I slept much more on it, not very much as since years I had disrupted sleeping, but this time only once a night and I fell asleep quite fast after that. Now, what is important to mentoin as it happened during the taking of mirtazapine, and I had one of those "suicidal episodes" my mom told me - this was the one sentence that cured me - "that it seems like I'm not depressed or anything, but scared." Boom. Done. It all went away. As I googled later, I found out what I had all the time was "Suicidal OCD - an intense fear of suicide and intrusive thoughts about suicide which leave the individual disturbed and distressed." This was also why the episodes got more intense and frequent in time - the more I was scared of it, the more intense it became. When I was distracted, it wasn't there. I remember when blood was taken from me it would disappear for a while, I remember the more hopeful I was the more it disappeared. All in my head. Ones own head, illusion can cause such suffering... fascinating. And indeed, the second I realized this was only a fear and not actual suicidal thoughts, all disappeared. And didn't come back. A few weeks later I would know the difference between this and actual sucidal thoughts. I was very alright on Mirtazapine, had feelings and so on, was myself pretty much. Problem was, the longer I took it the more paranoid-anxious I became (along with more and more damaged short-term memory), which would make me stop it after 2 months - and also by another event. I took CBD oil (I consulted it of course with my psychiatrist first), for it to help me further as maybe this would help my sleeping problems and I could get off mirtazapine. And I took the two together, and mirtazapine didn't react well to it. Got extremely anxious and with semi-suicidal feelings, kind of like when I first took it but half so bad- so I stopped the oil after three days of no improvement, but fast forward a half week later and the symptoms don't go away. So I had to stop taking mirtazapine, on 4th April. At first I became a bit hypomanic, my senses were sharp as never before, adrenal-like, nothing negative much. It went away after two days and was replaced by huge anxiety. It was lowering continuously over the course of one month, and I thought "not so bad", at the end, at first it was bad, but it was going away. 6th of May, it hit, and it hit really, really hard. I never felt this suicidal, it was like when I started taking it but 3x worse. It was accompanied by dizziness, intense nausea, extreme brain fog, anxiety, memory was non-existent, hopelessness rose to 900%, apathy, no feelings. Half of the day I thought about suicide and the other half of the day I was flat, kind of existing. The suicidality was intense, I could think about nothing else - it was nothing like the OCD I had, now I could really, really distinguish between illusion and actual suicidal thoughts. I felt, and still feel such regret of ever taking any antidepressant, I never was so scared about my future before, never regretted something so much. After one, two weeks it started gradually falling and the suicidality went kind of away, along with nausea, etc. What was left was the brain frog, numbness, impaired memory. But it got better over time, and I knew from the beginning it was withdrawal else I would probably have got psychotic about this. Now, a few days ago, second wave hit. Suicidality (but half so bad this time), now I have weird skin sensations sometimes, still much numb (I can cry very well though, I just don't feel the sadness, but the feelings are still there, hidden somewhere.) Brain fog, short-term memory still doesn't exist. Again, intense regret, I'm still so scared it won't end or I will suffer permanent damage, even though it was just 2 months and the lowest dose. What is optimistic though, for the first time since these 2.5 months I responded emotionally to music which opened a window, and I was cycling recently between withdrawal-window-withdrawal. But the fear of no end and permanent damage is still there, and thinking only about the slightest good memory from childhood makes me tip over into intense crying, as I'm so afraid that I lost now everything. There are so many things I still want to do, finish school, a good university etc., and I will only be able to forgive myself and forget if it all ends well, with as little damage as possible. Reassurement of "it was only such a short time, such a low dose, it won't damage you..." leaves me only with a bit of hope. In the past month I read so much about neuroplasticity and learned so much about the true face of psychiatry (especially through "Anatomy of an Epidemic"), and it left me in bewilderment and anger. Had I knew, then I would have never taken it. Never, no matter what and I never will take anything of it ever again. I only found about long-term use damage, so I guess from 2 months and lowest dose I will recover? I found in the Anatomy book that for antipsychotics, the rule is 2 months recovery for 1 month use, and only at the period of over a year or so it might cause permanent damage. I hope it is better for antidepressants, especially since I read so many horror stories I cried about with immense fear, and many I read with hope who came off after 20 years of various antidepressants and recovered well to 100% themselves. Often the knowledge about neuroplasticity, neurogenesis and success stories keep me sane. Incredible what 2 month use of the lowest dose can cause. If it shall end in 5 months, I will endure. I'm extremely endurable, all my life I've proven it. But there is this uncertainity, and it won't let me sleep at times.

I stopped taking antidepressants in 5 days after being on them 20 years. I've been med free 2.6 years. I still have anxiety, depression. And insomnia. A lil better tho Has anyone cold turkeyed after being on them 20 years? I get heartburn and have gastritis. When did you start feeling better?

Despite being quite nervous, I think it's time to make my introduction. I spent from early 2000's trying a variety of antidepressants. Prozac, setraline, amitryptiline, duloxetine, mirtazipine. Possibly something else, as well. Then, a crisis led to hospitalisation, and addition of quetiapine to fluoxetine. This was early 2019. Around four months ago, I stopped taking prozac, and about three months ago, I quit quetiapine. Both CT as I hadn't discovered this site. I was only taking 25mgs quetiapine and 20mgs prozac, so couldn't really taper without the help of the GP practice, in whom I have no confidence. A few months along, I am experiencing what I realise are waves and windows. Insomnia has been a recurring problem, but advice gained here has been very helpful. In my waves, I feel very depressed, but I now see this as withdrawal, rather than relapse. I don't think that antidepressants ever helped. As a cptsd sufferer, married to a troubled man, with two autistic sons, I was just overwhelmed. I am now a widow, and l live a very quiet life, with one if my sons. Medication does not feature in my future. History

Hi everyone. I created an account specifically to say what has helped me throughout this journey of recovery. I have no idea if I’m currently in a window (likely) or actually healed. I’ve had a terrible, hellish withdrawal of Trintellix, since December 20th I’ve had extreme panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, extreme agitation etc. And then, I’ve found a few things that helped me. What was really the most helpful thing was hypnotherapy. The first session didn’t help much as it was just an introduction to it, but the second session transformed me. It put me in a state of deep relaxation, and helped me sleep again. I would advice everyone to try it, despite the cost. The other thing that helped me tremendously was this medicine called Euphytose in France, it’s a mix of Passiflora, Valerian root, hawthorn, and ballotte (translation?). It had the same effects than benzos without the obvious terrifying risks of these. Again I’m not sure I’m completely healed or in a long window, but I these things truly helped, I believe. I’ve read this forum a lot and wanted to help the folks on here, in any way that I could, even if what I’m saying is maybe nothing new for some people. Bless you all, and hang in there, healing is coming.

I went to psychiatrist in beginning of 2020. I couldn't focus, had anxiety attacks usually caused by chronic procrastination. I was also experiencing anhedonia, meaninglessness. I was prescribed Setraline (Zoloft) for depression & anxiety disorder. Started at 25mg and went up to 150-200mg over the course of 2 years. In 2021, I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking Methylphenidate (Medikinet) - started at 10mg CR x1-2/day. Experimented with Medikinet IR as well. Currently (2024) I'm on 20mg CR in the morning and either a 10-20mg IR, 20mg CR or nothing in the afternoon (depends on day). Every few weeks I do at least few consecutive days of Medikinet "holidays" where I don't take it. Between 2020-2023 I gained a lot of weight, from 80kg (184cm height, male, born 1998) to 120kg. Since 2023, my weight is stable at 115kg. There were multiple potential contributing factors and I have developed stress eating so I don't necessarily think that drugs taken were the main factor. Taking Zoloft led to anorgasmia and making it pretty much impossible for me to orgasm with a partner (still possible through masturbation alone, but also more difficult). My emotional states got very bland, both the pleasant and unpleasant ones. I tried tappering off Zoloft for the first time after a year of taking it (2021). I was at 100mg dose at a time. over a course of 5 weeks went through 100-75-50-25-0. Around weeks 4-6 I was unable to function. I was experiencing crippling anxiety, anger and a general lack of energy (I could only sleep). Relapsed and didn't approach tappering off again until this year (2024). Somewhere over December and January, I started to forget to take it Zoloft (200mg) and was doing so on-and-off for a 1-2 months until completely stopping to take it in February (prescription run out and couldn't get myself to schedule a doctor appointment). In contrast to last time I was feeling good. I was having more motivation. I was also beginning to experience a wider spectrum emotional intensity (in a positive sense). After 1.5 months from stopping to take Zoloft I started experiencing more adverse states that I don't remember experiencing before (maybe only occasionally as a young (<12 yo) kid. I'm getting easily triggered (anger) and irritated over small or unclear reasons. I'm able to see it arise and control it somewhat without bursting out on others (I think it's because on-and-off meditation practice that I was into for the last 5-6 years). Over the last 1-2 weeks I started experiencing more of a wheeping sadness states and crippling anxiety states where I just delve into a deep despair hole of overwhelm over day-to-day life and am unable to function. I had a psychiatrist visit in the second half of March where I mentioned that I more-or-less accidentally went through Zoloft taper. Psychiatrist suggested that we should monitor how it goes and prescribed an optional Duloxetine (Dulofor) 60mg in case withdrawal symptoms intensify. She also said that Duloxetine might help my ADHD (ability to focus) in combination with Methylphenidate much more than an SSRI like Zoloft would. I raised my worries about it also possibly causing anorgasmia and making it much harder for me to slowly go back to normal after dropping Sertraline (Zoloft) [I started slowly noticing that it is easier to reach climax]. She said the chances are not as high that it will cause as with Sertraline, but I'm still hesitant to take another type of drug with my current withdrawal experience.

I started taking 20mg of Latuda near the end of May 2022 for treatment-resistant depression and anxiety. I started taking the drug as recommended, with at least 350 calories of food, until sometime in July where I got annoyed with feeling exhausted after dinner and started taking it right before bed without food. I did not realize that this meant I probably only absorbed 50-75% of those doses. By early to mid August, I began experiencing withdrawal symptoms (unbeknownst to me) including severe anxiety, racing thoughts, SI, fast heart beat, and a lack of appetite. I spoke to my psych about what was happening but she could not determine whether my symptoms were from the drug itself or a withdrawal but later suggested that I "taper" off of the medication. I started taking 10mg of Latuda, with food, from September 19th to September 26th and then went cold turkey. Since I have stopped the Latuda, my anxiety is seemingly getting worse, I have bouts of insomnia, I still have no appetite, my heart rate is regularly raised, and have had some GI concerns as well. I am 2 1/2 weeks off of Latuda and wondering if I should re-instate and, if so, at what dose? Have I passed the point of no return? My psych does not believe that what I am experiencing is withdrawal but rather a return of symptoms and wants me to try another anti-psychotic. I have an appointment with a different psych on Tuesday to discuss. I have been out of work on FMLA to handle the anxiety from this and terrified that I am months away from being anywhere close to who I was before this all started.

Hello everyone, Steppenwolf here. I'm going to start by saying: do not do what I did. I CT my last combination of 6(!) medications on 8 April 2023. I would never ever recommend that. I was rash and tired of taking medications that barely worked and seemed to have warped my personality by numbing everything, I wanted out quick and disregarded the repeated warnings on this site not to CT. I thought: 'the medications aren't working, i'm not doing good, why not just rip the band-aid off?' Bad idea. The first few weeks were rough—I think I fell ill during the period (on hindsight I'm not sure if the illness was just withdrawals or an illness or both)—hypnic jerks, dizziness, insomnia, brain zaps, and it felt like I had a bad flu (the sort you spend days in bed too weak to do much). I also had some hair loss, funnily enough, my hair loss post CT is less than what it was during meds, but my hair has become thinner, patchier on my beard and sideburns, and it grows slower and the texture is off. I guess my hair growth could keep up with the hair loss then, but since hair growth has slowed. It was unbearable, I was sleeping an hour or two a day max, had no energy to do anything at all, and I felt like I was constantly ill for an entire month or so and felt really spaced out, and the insomnia (oh boy) I went from sleeping 9–12 hours a day to sleeping an hour or two a day on a good day. And I slammed down so much magnesium glycinate to try to get some sleep but it didn't really help then. I've been lurking here for a few months on and off. I found out about this site in 2022, as I wanted to go off my medications. A member of my psychiatric care team recommended it to me for peer support (ha!). I went off some medications on a Fast Taper (I think I went off all my medications in a month, I'm sorry but I don't quite remember what I was on then. I think Fluoxetine, Deanxit (Melitracen+Flupentixol), Valproate and Bupropion). I re-instated at the next appointment with my psychiatrist. My psychiatric journey started in 2016, I dropped out of school due to a panic attack. I already was quite melancholy in 2015, I spent most of my days in school just keeping to myself and wandering about, and didn't do work. I think I was having an existential crisis or something. The sort of thing that focuses you to put aside all else until you deal with it. When the panic attack hit, I knew I couldn't carry on this way. Plus I had to repeat 2015 again in 2016 as my grades were terrible. So I left. I needed help. I saw a psychiatrist, he gave me a questionnaire to do as I was really withdrawn and quite depressed—I barely talked and when I did it was one, two word answers. He told me I was profoundly depressed and insisted on an antidepressant. Venlafaxine 75 mg every other day. Turbulent few years, 3 major hospitalisations and a couple of minor ones. About 16 sessions of ECT. During the second major hospitalisation (I was diagnosed with bipolar II) and put on valproate and olanzapine. I gained about 35 kgs (77 lbs) on it. Tried a long list of medication: Venlafaxine, Bupropion, Mirtazapine, Atomoxetine, Methylphenidate, Sodium Valproate, Sertraline, Quetiapine and probably a few others I don't remember. They were all abruptly switched or CTed. I tried therapy, but my therapist said that I couldn't access my emotions. It felt like I was going in circles and not going anywhere. Rebuilding from Ground Zero It has been 178 days since my CT. Thankfully a lot of the physical symptoms have gone away. My main issues right now are lethargy, brainfog, cognitive dsyfunction, depression, neuro-emotions, anhedonia, emotional anaesthesia, and the occasional suicidality. Sleep is better nowadays, 6-7 hours, but it's not very refreshing. And I seem to have stopped dreaming as much as pre-CT. I've been walking 20 minutes a day, sitting under the sun in the morning, and I've recently worked up to 10 minutes of meditation a day (not much but it's a start). I guess my goals right now are to go back to school or work, I tried going back to school numerous times during those years, but anxiety and school stress overwhelmed me repeatedly. I tried applying for jobs but interviews scare me and I'm not quite sure I can hold a job (I've never held one). It's going to be much harder for me to build up then for folks who had jobs, studies, relationships and whatnot before they were de-railed by the medications. They have something to go back to, I don't. That's why I called this section Ground Zero. I think a large part of my distress/pain comes from the fact that everyone is ahead and going forward, but I seem to be stuck in a limbo for 7 years. I'm 25. I've spent the last 7 years this way. It's also really painful to look back at these 7 years and even before and realise that I've not done anything at all, all those experiences and things others experienced. I have not had that. I hope that years from now, I can look back at this period of my life and thank myself for trying my best to survive and put one foot in front of the other and that this period was necessary for me to become who I am. It's going to be a long, painful and slow ride—I'm probably going to have a really protracted withdrawal. But I hope that future me lives a life I have always dreamt of and wanted.

Hi everyone, I’m new here, (22 y/o Male) and I have been reading all your threads on this forum for quite a while and it gives me great hope. I have a story off my own that I would like to share with you. It’s a long read and I would really appreciate your feedback back on it and where I can go from here. My story starts in 2021. To start I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have done since I was 11 years old, I am now 22. In 2021 after 8 years of suffering and sweeping my problems under the rug they finally blew up in my face and I had to deal with them. This included horrific intrusive thoughts, rumination and anxiety all day everyday for about 3 months straight so much to the extent that I had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t do anything. It affected my eating, sleeping and work life and I don’t even like talking about it to be honest. I had heard about ssri’s for many years but never considered them until my back was against the wall and I had no other choice. With much hesitation I started Sertraline in August 2021 (at age 20) and to be fair it did provide a lot of relief. I went from 25mg to 50mg and was on the medication for roughly six months, August 2021 to February 2022. Somehow or other the first time went alright and I successfully cold turkey’d off 50mg in feb 2022 because my prescription ran out. I didn’t have any prolonged withdrawal symptoms or sexual side effects. I also once took 25mg for a day or two in August 2022 but stopped because I didn’t like the spaced out and drowsy side effects. Now this is where I’m getting round to the not so great part. In January 2023 I was resuming my college degree after working for six months. I was anxious being in a new house with new roommates, and was looking for something to help me calm down and settle in. I knew I had left over Sertraline from the year prior. And while giving it some thought I foolishly decided to reinstate by myself and treat them as if they were benzodiazepines. This is where trouble began. I started 25mg again in late January 2023 jumped to 50mg and quit them cold turkey again roughly in around mid April 2023. The reason for doing so is because I was having severe headaches which very well may have been an adverse reaction. I feel very foolish about this because I unintentionally did this to myself when I really, really didn’t need to take the medication. And because I successfully quit cold turkey the first time round I thought I could do it again and was completely unaware of withdrawal symptoms. I was quite wrong, I guess this is what I’m getting to now. I have most the textbook PAWS symptoms I.e. poor to no emotions, anhedonia, lack of motivation/drive. Not to mention the sexual side effects numb genitals,watery semen, no real effect on libido however (thankfully). It’s now roughly 12 months since I last took Sertraline and while I see small windows there’s not much real improvement. I guess what can I do now?. I have heard about reinstating small doses of the drug to alleviate withdrawal symptoms but to be honest I’d rather not touch it with a ten foot pole after what happened. I’m probably outside the reinstating period anyway but I am open to suggestions. So what should I do, I’m no stranger to hard times and I know that this is just another bump in the road and will pass as it has for many others, but it’s starting to drag on a bit. I have often heard that it takes between 12 - 14 months for your dopamine receptors to reset so that gives me hope. I know I am slowly healing as I am getting very small windows but it’s still slow, is there anyone else who was in a similar situation as I am currently?. How long did it take you to recover and is there any feedback you could offer me. Considering that I only took it for 2 - 3 months shouldn’t that mean that I should recover a lot quicker and more linearly?. Can I 100% recover from this, and be even better than before?. Like said I’m hopeful and optimistic and know I will get there. I would just like to know where to go from here. Thank you for reading my story and I look forward to hearing your responses.

Hello, I am French sorry in advance for my English I am with Google translation. I'm happy to have found a forum that finally recognizes how much harm antidepressants can cause in our lives. Here is my story: I took 10mg seroplex for depression 2 years ago. I then switched to Brintellix 5mg for 6 months. While taking the seroplex fat fatigue for 3 weeks then I was better, except that my ejaculation was very delayed or sometimes impossible. I stopped antidepressants for 1 month recently. Result of abrupt weaning premature ejaculation, ejaculation without orgasm or very little. Insomnia, sensitivity to noise and light. My libido is it Do you think premature ejaculation will resolve over time and I will get better? I hope to recover the same for the orgasm during ejaculation that it is more pronounced as before. Before you take this **** everything is fine. I resolved my depression but this disorder when I stopped going back into it. I have another question. Do you think stopping the treatment suddenly changes anything compared to a gradual withdrawal? Apart from the symptoms that can last, does it change anything for the brain and sexuality to better recover? Thank you to everyone who can testify and help me. And courage to everyone, it is good to support this and to move forward. I exercise a lot and feed it well. I feel very tired I have some vertigo too and the insomnia is horrible I sleep during the day and stay up all night luckily I am not working at the moment. I'm 29 years old

I came off 50 mg Sertraline almost from one day to the next. Then threw away Vyvanse from one day to the next. Now, I am trying to come off Seroquel, but I am struggling. Went to the hospital twice in the last couple of weeks because I have a severe lung infection, but the doctors cannot understand why my body won't take in enough oxygen for my oxygen saturation in the blood to be normal. I suggested that it might have to do with the fact that I JUST came off several kinds of meds that had a severe impact on my breathing (I was hyperventilating all day every day), but they just looked at me funny. But it does make sense to me that I am now "hypo ventilating" because my body is out of balance? Am I totally off here? Right now, I wish I could just find a doctor who could let me know whether it is dangerous to "hypo ventilate". I have to sons, and I don't want to die...

Well, I wanted to put my experience thinking that it might help some of you. You see, a few months ago I had decided to stop my cipralex. I had been on different kind of drugs for the last 8 years and because things were going well in life, I said enough. I know a little bit about withdrawal symptoms and that I shouldn't stop cold turkey. But like many of you, I was eager to get my old life back. The life before all this started 8 years ago, with a burnout. I was so determined that I told myself I could brace for impact and deal with the dizziness, the brain zap and the fogginess. But seem like subconscious was listening and decided to try something different. My "smart plan" was to go from 10 mg cipralex down to 5 mg for one month and then .25 mg for another month. And it worked, kind of. No withdrawal whatsoever until 2 month later. My subconscious put is plan into motion, instead of going with brain zap (which I was prepared to deal with) he went with super hyper burning sensitive skin and dry eyes. I think the expression "I’m not comfortable in my own skin" come from people with withdrawal. Talk about a stupid, uncomfortable and mind bugging feeling. You feel like running naked all the time. But it made my kids uncomfortable and work HR said I had to stop. Now, I'm still not sure if it's withdrawal or something else so I asked this forum a few days ago. Well it did not take long for one of the admin (Altostrata) to say (I imagine her shouting) IT'S TO FAST YOU DIM WIT. She didn't say it like that but I got the message. She also explained that Escitalopram is more potent that the average drug. 10 mg of this is like 30 mg of something else. So after all this, I'm back on 5 mg cipralex, for 4 days now, and waiting, hoping that my subconscious will be happy again and stop playing with my skin. Maybe find something more useful to do. But even if I feel like crying, sleeping all the time and going back to full dose, my plan is to stick with 5 mg for 2-3 months and then go back down at 10% every month. And maybe, just maybe all the parts of my human being will get along and still be friend at the end. p.s. sorry for the long post, but I needed to say it to somebody. p.s.s. the problem is not the drugs, it's the doctors administering them. They know nothing....

Hello SA Community, I am new to the site, but have been reading a lot of info here over the past 2 1/2 years. I am in a bad place... I was on 20 mg Prozac for many years, and was told by a Dr. in Feb 2018 that I could just "stop it". Well... I crashed bad. I didn't know what was happening, and over the next year and half, I was given over 22 different meds (including back on Prozac and numerous AD's, benzos, sleeping pills, BP meds, mood stabilizers, and lastly, an antipsychotic). I deteriorated more and more and finally decided to get off everything. I am down to my last 5 mg of Prozac. I have suffered very much - my biggest symptoms have been horrible insomnia, dark depression, intense anxiety among others. I haven't had but a couple of days of windows in the past year. I am just losing hope. Will I get better? I am holding at 5 mg for a long time (just reduced 2 weeks ago). I think I did EVERYTHING wrong.... Thank you.

Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.

Good day everyone My back story: - Mid 2019 (age 19) I went to my doctor a few weeks after a bad breakup of 3 years. I just was not feeling like myself. He insisted on me taking 5mg of an antidepressant for 4-6 months (I cannot remember the name and have since moved to different doctors, but I will try and find out). I took it for about 2/3 months but had to switch to Duloxetine Hydrochloride 30mg due to the other AD giving me ear infections. In hindsight, I probably could have gotten through it without AD, but what's done is done. - In Oct 2020 (age 20) I had severe COVID-19 and had to start taking asthma medication - Symbicord and Omnair. My asthma is well controlled now. - In 2021 I saw a new doctor, and she upped my dosage to 60mg because she considered it the normal dosage. Within 2-3 months I tapered back to 30mg as there was no reason to be on a higher dose. I switched to my current doctor after that. I experience no withdrawal symptoms from the up and down dosage. - In June 2022 I had 2 small surgeries. That doctor advised me to take Tramadol. I told her about my medication and asked if there arent any clashes. She told me no. I read up about the possible clashes and wasn't sure whether to take it. My parents told me to trust the doctor and take it. I took it for 3 days and then started to get panic attacks. This lasted for 2 - 3 months. Panic attacks every day the whole day, even in my sleep. (Before then I only had panic attacks in 2014 (age 14) when my brother left for university - due to my separation anxiety.) At month 2, I contacted my Homeopathic Doctor, and she prescribed me Stram 200. This helped a lot and got me on track quickly. (I trust my homeopathic doctor, as it cured my torrets when I was a child and cured my brother's lung problems as a child.) - On 27 Nov 2023 I started to taper off my medication with the help of my GP (since then found out it's not a taper but rather a cold turkey). I wanted to come off my medication before I moved to a new country (now I know it's not the best move). Details about the move - starting my articles at a new firm, moving from South Africa to London, and leaving all my friends and family and my loving dogs behind. My brother lives in Brighton, England, which is a benefit. The taper method was one day on, one day off, and by 7 December 2023, I took my last dose. This taper was extremely difficult and I felt horrible. By 10 December I had a full-blown panic attack and could not function as a human. This panic session lasted about 2-3 hours. I also had most of the withdrawal symptoms except not feeling emotions and suicidal thoughts. The following week I had panic attacks throughout every day, and by week 2 it turned into crying spells. Accompanying this anxiety and panic was an abnormal dizziness and loss of appetite. At the end of week 2, I contacted my homeopathic doctor and proceeded to take stram 200 for 3 days, afterward stram m for 2 days, and afterward stram lm for a few days. This helped a lot and after a week I was back to normal. - Then on 7 January, all the withdrawal symptoms returned. My stress levels suddenly were a lot higher, due to my board exam I had to write in 2 weeks, and my signing the lease of my apartment in the new country. Everything became real. The worst symptom is the constant dizziness that interfered with my life. This caused me to lose power over my thoughts and I spiraled back into a hole. Since then I worked with my homeopathic doctor. She tried Stram 200, Nat Mur 200, Ignatia 200, and Phos 200. These have significantly improved my anxiety and thoughts but had zero effect on my dizziness. I also woke up after every nap and night with an anxiety attack. After my board exam, my dizziness improved but is not gone. This leads me to believe that stress and anxiety amplify my dizziness. The anxiety attacks when waking up and in my sleep have not gone away either but the rest of my life is on track. I even started listening to music and watching series again. AKA doing things I love. Since then I have seen 3 doctors, a psychologist, and my Christian counselor. All of them believe that I should go back to my Duloxetine 30mg. I have until Monday the 5th to decide whether I am going back on the medication or not because my Doctor wants at least 4 weeks to monitor how the reinstatement goes before I move to London. My big fear is that of kindling because I have become very sensitive to the things I consume. I can't drink coffee anymore, and the antihistamine makes me super drowsy and I have since stopped taking them. Sugar also affects me way more. 30mg is the smallest dose of Duloxetine we get here. I am not sure what to do, but I believe everyone has my best interest at heart when they say I need to go back on the antidepressants. TLDR - went off duloxetine CT in Nov/Dec 2023, doctor wants to reinstate back at 30mg now before I move overseas. I think I agree, but I am afraid of kindling.

Hi this is my first post, I ct of mirtazapine 10 months ago as per doctors recommendations and since then have been experiencing severe muscle weakness, spasms and knots. I believe my history will be included in the signature of this post? I’ve been trying all the recommended treatments like magnesium, heat etc which helps only a bit. Hoping to get help with the following questions: I’m still taking 25 mg sertraline, which I was taking before the mirtazapine, and did not experience the muscle issues. However, with my CNS kindled could the sertraline be contributing to the spasms? My understanding of mirtazapine is it hits +25 receptors so would anyone know which ones in particular could have been adversely affected to cause the muscle issues, ie histamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, etc? Not sure if other medications are ever recommended but wondering about the use of a muscle relaxant or other drug that could help relax the muscles without causing further damage to my CNS. Any other supplements and/or diet recommendations such as low histamine or low glutamate?

Hi, I am is 41 years old. I was on Venlafaxine XR for my vestibular migraine in 2019 to 2021. My dosage was 37.5 mg one tablet every 3rd day which was suggested by my neurologist as i was getting hives from taking the medicine. For my hives I was taking half tablet of Allerga M (Montelukast 10mg + Fexofenadine 120mg) twice a week. I took Venlafaxine XR for 1.5 years and Allerga M for 2 years and then CT it as all my vestibular migraine symptoms had gone away. When i CT from venlafaxine I did not get any withdrawal symptoms for 9 months. Then after 9 months in June 2022 my vestibular migraine symptoms (swaying, light and sound sensitivity, unstable feeling, surroundings looking dim and blurred vision) came back, I tried to re-introduce Venlafaxine XR again but on taking just one tablet after 9 months my occipital area started paining and i started getting internal trembling inside my body. I still tried taking it the very next day too but had the same issue so stopped taking it and went to the neurologist. The neurologist then tried paroxetine (1 tablet) which didn’t suit me and so he then tried the following medicines -prednisolone (steroid 1 tablet), betahistine (2 tablets), flunarizine (half tablet) and all the above made my condition even worse as she started getting leg jerks while sleeping which i wasn’t getting before with my vestibular migraine symptoms. Then the neurologist finally said lets try Venlafaxine XR again as that has helped me in the past in 2019 and inspite of hearing I was having trouble taking it told me to try it again. Then when I tried Venlafaxine XR again i started getting brain zaps and myoclonic jerks and my stomach and vagina started making loud noises. This had never happened before so i stopped Venlafaxine XR and went back to the neurologist. He then prescribed a Benzo - Alprazolam (1 tablet) which i didn’t feel well on as my heart started racing rapidly and i had chest pain as well so then i went back the next day and he gave me Sodium Valproate (anti epileptic medicine) and told me not to come back and see a psychiatrist. Then that night when i took the sodium valproate tablet a glass breaking sound while swallowing started in my ears and my brain and hip started thumping so i stopped the medicine on 17th August 2022 immediately. Then on 19th August 2022 as i had Covid symptoms especially cough and sore throat i took a cough syrup which was Dilo DX syrup (Chlorpheniramine maleate with Dextromethorphan hydrobromide) 5 ML, this is when my entire symptoms changed for the worse. My occipital area started shaking internally and my vestibular symptoms went away. As I was still having covid symptoms like cough and sore throat she took Lecope AD (Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - 1 tablet while the shaking in the occipital area still continued. I couldn’t understand what the internal shaking was for a week but as they were not stopping and as per the instructions of the neurologist I finally met with a psychiatrist. I was also exposed to green fungus around the same time in the house as it was rainy season here in Mumbai (India). The psychiatrist ordered an MRI of the brain which was clear. After that i met various psychiatrists and neurologists who said this was Functional or somatic symptoms of depression and they tried to stop the internal shaking or vibrations with the below class of medicines which made my condition even more worse as I was unable to tolerate any medications because my nerves used to pull and pain and my internal shaking/tremors used to increase on taking every medication. I used to then discontinue the medication after 2 to 3 tablets. Below is the class of medications tried on me since August 2022 till date:- (Small doses of each medication was tried and discontinued) YEAR – 2022 · Provanol 20 MG (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) - Half tablet - Beta blocker. · Nexito 5 mg (escitalopram)- Half tablet – SSRI Antidepressant · Provanol 10 MG – (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) Half tablet - 2 days - Beta blocker. · Rejunex CD 3 - Multivitamin · Folinext (Folic Acid and methylcobalamin) - 1 tablet - Vitamin · Homeopathy medicine – GAVE EXTERNAL TREMORS · Zapiz 0.25 mg (clonazepam) Half tablet – 3 days – Benzodiazepine. · Provanol 2.5 mg (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) – 3 days - Beta blocker. · Tynept 12.5 mg (Tianeptine) – Half tablet for 2 days - Dibenzoxazepine Antidepressant · Mirtaz 7.5 mg (Mirtzpine) - Half tablet – Tetracyclic Antidepressant · Synaptol 50 mg (Tolperisone hydrochloride) - Half tablet - Muscle relaxer. · Gabapin 100 mg (Gabapentin tablet IP) - Half tablet - Antiepileptic · Homeopathy medicine · Ayurvedic medicine · Evion - LC - Half tablet (Vitamin) · Solopose - MD 0.25 mg (Etizolam) - Half tablet - Benzodiazepine. YEAR - 2023 · 10th Jan - Ascoril D plus ( Dextromethorphan hydrobromide + phenylephrine hydrochloride + Chlorpheniramine maleate) - 5ML - Took it for dry cough · 11th Jan - Lecope AD ( Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - 1 tablet for 4 days – Took it for sore throat · 16th Jan - Nurewire Tablet - 1 tablet (Vitamin) · 23rd Jan - Cetzine (cetrizine) - 2.5 MG - Antihistamine · 25th Jan - Pacitane 2 MG – Half tablet (Trihexyphenidyl) - Anticholinergic medication · 27th Jan - Allegra 180 - Half tablet (Fexofenadine) - Antihistamine · 1st Feb to 3rd Feb - Atrest 12.5 mg -Half tablet (Tetrabenazine) – Vesicular Monoamine Transporter 2 inhibitor · 6th & 7th Feb - Benadryl syrup - 2 ML – Cough syrup · 8th & 9th Feb - Supradyn - 1 tablet - Multivitamin · 14th & 15th Feb - Practin syrup 2 ML (Cyproheptadine) - Antihistamines · 18th Feb - Allegra 180 - Half tablet · 21st & 22nd Feb - Mentat (Himalaya Ayurveda) · 28th Feb - Allegra M ( Montelukast 10mg + Fexofenadine 120mg) – Half tablet Leukotriene antagonist and antiallergic medicine · 2nd & 3rd March - Atarax 5 mg - Half tablet (Hydroxyzine) - Antihistaminic medication · 6th March - Pramipex 0.125 mg - Half tablet (Pramipexole ) - Dopamine agonists · 9th March - 1 CBD Gummy · 10th March - Levocet 2.5 MG (Levocetirizine) - Antihistamine · 11th March - Buspin 2.5 MG (Buspirone) - Anxiolytics · 14th March - Levocet - Half of 2.5 MG · 16th March - Levocet - Half of 2.5 MG · 21st March - Bilagra 3 MG (Bilastine) - Antihistamine · HOSPITALISED on 23rd March to 30th March - Vantaxa 5 MG (Vortioxetine) – Half tablet for 1 day - serotonin modulator and stimulator Antidepressant then Prothaden 25 MG (Dosulepin) – Half tablet for 1 day + quarter tablet for 3 days. - Tricyclic antidepressant · 1st , 3rd , 5th & 7th April - Opiprol 50 MG (Opipramol) – quarter tablet - Tricyclic antidepressant · 8th April to 6th May - Lecope AD ( Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - Mucolytic, Antihistamines and Nasal decongestants – Took it for Sore throat · 10th May - 1 drop of Rudra Taila (CBD drops) · 15th to 22nd May - Metolar 25 MG - Half tablet (Metoprolol Tartrate tablets IP) - Beta-blockers. · 25th & 26th May - Homeopathy medicine (3 pills) · 13th to 15th June - Homeopathy medicines · 16th to 21st June – Neksium 40 mg ( Esomeprazole tablets I.P ) – 3 tablets – Proton pump inhibitor and Motilium M (Domperidone tablets I.P) – 3 tablets- Dopamine-2 receptor antagonist · 26th June - Homeopathy medicine · 14th July to 22nd July – Oflox 200 MG - Ofloxacin Tablets I.P – Antibiotic · 26th July – Gabawin 25 MG – Quarter Tablet (Pregabalin) – Antiepileptic · 30th July – Deslor 5 mg - Quarter tablet - Desloratadine- Antihistaminic medication · 8th August - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) – She takes half tablet of Allegra 180 every 3 days for her hives till date. · 30th August – 1 Meftal spas (Dicyclomine (10mg) & Mefenamic Acid (250mg) Anticholinergic and NSAID · 11th September - Homeopathy medicine + Half of Meftal 500 (Mefenamic Acid) · 3rd & 4th October – Half of Syndopa plus (Levodopa (100mg) + Carbidopa (25mg) - Antiparkinson agent · 6th October - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) · 7th October – 1 + ½ Lecope AD (Ambroxol (60mg) + Phenylephrine (5mg) + Levocetirizine (5mg) Mucolytic, Antihistamines and Nasal decongestants – Took it for Sore throat AND 2 tablets of Lanol ER (Paracetamol 650mg) - Analgesic (pain reliever) and anti-pyretic (fever reducer) · 23rd October – 1 tablet of NOW - Saccharomyces Boulardii probiotic – 5 billion CFU · 26th October – 1 tablet of Pan 40 (Pantoprazole Gastro resistant tablets IP ) - Proton pump inhibitor · 27th October - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) · 28th October – 1 tablet of Nexpro 40 (Esomeprazole magnesium tablets I.P AND 1/4th tablet of Gastractiv 10mg (DOMPERIDONE) - dopamine antagonist · 29th October - 1 tablet of Nexpro 40 (Esomeprazole magnesium tablets I.P - Proton pump inhibitor (Took for 10 days). My current symptoms since 15 months are:- Internal tremors running from head to toe, involuntary movements, nerves pull and pain on taking any medication, pacing, electrical sensitivity to electronics, tingling in hands and feet, burning of skin, external tremors, pain in my occipital area and neck, pulsating at the base of the head which goes down to my entire body. The neurologists did various tests like MRI of cervical spine, F DOPA PET Scan – Brain, Various blood tests, Whole Genome Sequencing (Genetic testing) and all were clear.They then officially diagnosed me with Functional Neurological Disorder (conversion disorder). Currently I can barely walk and im homebound for 15 months now. I currently take only my thyroid medication which is Thyroxine 112 mcg every morning before breakfast – 1 tablet and half tablet of Allegra 180 MG (fexofenadine) – once a week for Hives. The diagnosis that I have received from most neurologist and psychiatrist is that I have Functional neurological disorder (conversion disorder) or Depression and my symptoms are somatic. But I feel this could Kindling or Akathisia or Serotonin syndrome or Mast cell activation or Mold or Long Covid or Withdrawal from the rapid trial and error of medicines but no doctor is ready to help me or give me clarity as to what is wrong with me and why no medication is working on my body? I have tried counselling, EMDR, CBT, DBT, Physiotherapy, ayurvedic, homeopathy and every allopathy medicine possible but my condition doesn’t improve and im really suffering with the physical symptoms especially internal shaking/tremors. I have no idea what has gone wrong and no doctors in India help and they all have put their hands up. Currently no medication/ supplements works on my body and only makes my condition worse. Can someone please tell me what exactly am i suffering from? And is there any cure? I feel helpless and lost as as I have tried everything in my reach and my condition is getting worse day by day. Please Help and Guide me. Thank you so much in advance.

Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.

Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. Back in September 2020 I was driven to the ER for what I now know was a panic attack (heart racing, blurry vision, dizziness, etc.). I saw a neurologist at the ER, whom I followed up with shortly after in October 2020. The neurologist took one look at me, told me I was anxious, and sent me out the door with a prescription for 10mg Lexapro (which is unfortunately far too common). I started taking this on 10/20/2021. The first week on this seemed to amplify all anxious symptoms, but then surprisingly made me feel great (calmer, more energized, optimistic, etc.). I didn't ask questions as I was fairly naive at the time and trusted the neurologist's decision. A few months in I started experiencing days of extreme fatigue, and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision. I managed to ignore these and attributed them to migraines. Fast forward to February 2021. The days of fatigue and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision are still happening, yet more frequently. I also noticed a general sense of feeling numb, as if things did not matter as much. I remember one day I forgot to take my dose (for the first time) and I made it until about noon at work. Symptoms were extreme fatigue, dizziness, head pressure, racing heart and a few more that I can't remember. Once again, I was naive and still didn't consider Lexapro as the issue. The next day I took my normal dose and everything returned back to normal. It's now March 2021. For some reason I decided to start questioning the efficacy of the Lexapro as I was starting to have anxious symptoms yet again. I also had a profound realization that I had become dependent on this drug to function day-to-day in order to "manage" my anxiety, and would be for the rest of my life. This is when I began my research (engineer by trade, heavily science/statistically driven), and to say I was shocked is an understatement. SSRI's are prescribed based on a theory, there is no scientific evidence that has proved SSRI's do what they are intended to do. The primary driver is anecdotal evidence, which absolutely blew my mind (once again, engineering perspective). I'm sure these drugs are helpful to some people, but oh my is this interesting. Journalist Robert Whitaker summarizes the history/efficacy of psychiatric drugs brilliantly, check him out if you haven't already. I was aware of 'potential' withdrawal symptoms through brief internet research (unfortunately did not find SA until 3 months off), was willing to tough it out for a few weeks and I quit cold turkey on March 4th 2021. As many of you have unfortunately experienced, nothing could have prepared me for what would happen during the coming months. The acute withdrawal phase hit almost immediately, parking me in bed for a few days followed by another week of dragging myself around. Over the next few weeks I had the typical symptoms: brain zaps, extreme fatigue, dizziness, headaches/head pressure, chest pain, muscle aches, panic attacks, and many many more. At the end of March I began to feel fairly normal and could function enough to return to daily activities. Fast forward to June 2021 and I got absolutely slammed with withdrawal symptoms. The mental/psychological symptoms were intense and frightening as the only psychological issues I have had in the past was anxiety. These consisted of: intrusive thoughts, DP/DR, OCD, insomnia, depression, extreme anxiety (way worse than pre-lexapro), anhedonia and some more I can't remember. Physical symptoms were: DIZZINESS (this was by far my worst physical symptom), tinnitus, extreme fatigue, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, chest pain, and just about every other symptoms you've read about. I have been to almost every doctor/specialist you could think of and according to modern medicine I was the 'healthiest person' they've seen. I had started to lose faith in modern medicine and begun to look for solutions myself..... Then I found SA and everything made sense. I have been reading many of the stories here (mostly success ) and I cannot thank the people here enough for the information/hope that is provided. Anyway, here I am 7+ months after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I have been in the windows/waves pattern for the past 4 months with noticeable improvements. I was actually debating on posting a success story last week because I had been feeling so great, but unfortunately a wave hit - although minor in comparison to the beginning. This has consisted of insomnia, intrusive thoughts, minor DP/DR, light sensitivity and generally feeling out of it. So that's about it. I will continue to update this post accordingly as time goes on, and eventually will post my success story. Cheers, - Seer