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Found 40 results

  1. Belinda

    Hello everyone. My name is Belinda. I was diagnosed in 2010 with BPD and prescribed Prozac and buspirone. I stopped taking both of them cold turkey about a month ago. The first week was fine, but now I find myself angry and impatient most of the time. I was only taking 10 mg of Prozac in the morning with 10 mg of buspirone in the a.m. and 10-15 at night, so I don't understand why I'm having so much trouble with it. I was prescribed 10 mg a.m. and p.m., but I also have insomnia so my PCP said not to take it at night, which I wasn't. I feel so angry, impatient and weepy most of the time now and am feeling like I want to do make changes in my life I know I'll regret. I don't know if I should go back on the meds or wait it out
  2. I really can't go into many details right now, as I am in the midst of things. You guys can read my history. I had a mini nervous breakdown after a period of intense life threatening stress, with with a war of nerves from family members, strangers etc. etc. too long of a story. I was misdiagnosed with depression, then as you can read I was repeatedly attacked with drugs. At the moment I can't read a book, go out, hold a conversation... I used to be a computer whiz and I can't re-arrange a few folders on the computer, I am completely drained of any energy, I can't cook for myself, and I suffer from mental pain that ranges from the horrible, completely intolerable pain to the barely tolerable. I 've seen all facets of hell. I 've gone out 10 times in 8 months. I smoke tobacco like a chimney. I 'm terribly addicted to benzos.I am mortified by what I am reading about tardive dysphoria. ------------------------------ Invega 9mg tapered to zero over 6 months Levomepromazine 25mg for 3 months Citalopram raised from 20mg to 80mg over 3 months, at 80mg for 1 year and 5 months Venlaxafine raised from 150mg to 450mg over 3 months (after citalopram) maintained for 1 year and 2 months. Alprazolam from 0.5 to 7(!) mg due to the immense stress of the ads. Down to 2.5mg. Discontinued abruptly with almost no tapering within a week and a half, against all guidelines first the citalopram then the effexor. Moclobemide raised from 200mg to 800mg during a month and half discontinued with no tapering. Fluvoxamine and Venlaxafine 300mg and 450mg, abrupt start, no tapering in discontinuation. 30mg Mirtazapin at night. Currently on 2.5mg alprazolam, Diazepam 5mg for 1.5 months.
  3. My brain going into dream condition but not into sleep condition every night or day when ever I attempt to sleep I have believed the information about remote neural monitoring in all over internet and browsed internet 2 years heavily which resulted heavy thought process ,doubts and suspicion over near and dear. So I went to a psychiatrist and requested to bring me out of heavy thoughts.He made me use lorazepam for 10 days ,risperidone and trihexyphenidyl combination drug for 30 days.After 30 days my thoughts reduced so I did not go to doctor again.What a mistake ,I was ignorant of how psychiatry medicines work and slow tapering nor my doctor warned me while prescribing an anti psychotic.It is happened in july 2016. From then my brain going into dreams when ever I attempt to sleep.In october 2016 again I went to the same doctor and reported about the condition I am in.He prescribed olanzapine silently.I started using olanzapine ignorantly and innocently.When i was experiencing stomach upset that is when I researched in the internet about risperidone and olanzapine. Now this is june 2017 I have tapered risperidone and olanzapine safely and became drug free safely.But the thing is my brain still into dream condition and not allowing me to sleep when ever i attempt.My querry is what risperidone and trihexyphenidyl and lorazapam [10 days]did to my brain?what chemicals they blocked.Now stopping them cold turkey did what on my brain?what chemical i should take to get my sleep pattern back.?If I wait patiently with time will the brain correct its condition naturally?Any brain researcher please help.
  4. Hello everyone! I have CT'd from Prozac use since September 2017 (you can see my history in my signature). It's my 3rd month of withdrawals (but 4 months off Prozac completely) and I'm struggling to find hope that there's success in cold turkeying. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I'm honestly afraid to reinstate. I've had waves and windows interchange so far, and I'm hoping the existence of the windows means I'm recovering. But I'm unsure. Can I keep cold turkeying and recover? Are there successes out there from CT?
  5. i became very ill last fall of 2014. I was separated and had 2 children. No support whatsoever from my ex husband. I had to babysit to earn extra money, I was extremely stressed out and I began to drink Monster caffeine drinks and also a lot of coffee each day to keep me going. I always had trouble sleeping but due to my separation and other factors, I could only sleep a few hours per night. I eventually had a psychotic (manic) episode which landed me in the psychiatrist hospital. I had never been been mentally ill in my life. I was 27 at the time of my hospitalization. I was prescribed lithium 1,200 mg per day and zyprexa 20 mg. per day. The psychiatrist never looked at the cause of the psychosis ( caffeine overload) and told me I was bipolar 1 and I would need medication for the rest of my life. I hated both medications and they made me feel horrible. Once symptom I began to develop while on the zyprexa was I felt no pleasure and was extremely bored. I was released from the hospital after a 1 month and 1/2 stay. Soon after, I quit taking all medications cold turkey. ( I was never told no to do so). I had no clue of the dangers of doing such. I almost lost my mind. So I went back on both medications for about 2 weeks, then I quit taking zyprexa becauseI gained 20 pounds in 3 weeks and felt awful. Three days after I quit the zyprexa, I began to experience terrible withdrawals symptoms. I have been off zyprexa for almost four months now and it's been pure hell. A lot of the physical withdrawal symptoms have gone; howvever, I ended up getting rebound depression from stopping the zyprexa cold turkey and I have anhedonia as a main symptom which is really really difficult for me to cope with. I have lost the pleasure that I once had when I was not sick. I cannot feel and pleasure in life and I feel that the drug has ruined me for ever. Every day is a constant struggle as I wake up in the morning and realize that I am not getting better. I fear that my brain was damaged. I have 2 young children who are being taken care of by my mother because I have lost all motivation as well. I find through my endless searches on the internet that there are not many people who have fully recovered from anhedonia. I do not want to see any doctors concerning this because I know they will just tell me that I am going through depression again because I quit taking the medication and they will tell me to back back on them. I began to experience loss of pleasure and extreme boredom while on zyprexa. I have also tapered my lithium down from 1,200 mg to 300 mg. I am scared to taper more at this point. I hope I can receive some help and support through people on this site that have been through this and hopefully they can offer some hope for me.
  6. I think I’ve made an awful mistake. I did a too fast taper off of Citalopram in Jan/ Feb and have been having awful withdrawal symptoms for about a month now. I thought the symptoms would resolve themselves after a few weeks, but they haven’t and I fear that I may have now permanently damaged my brain. I was prescribed 20mg paroxetine in 2001 for depression and anxiety. It worked really well. Life was wonderful and I felt fantastic for about a year. Then the Paroxetine lost it’s effectiveness. I took it for another year before deciding that it wasn’t doing anything and that I was cured so could just stop taking it. I relapsed six months later and was put on 20mg Citalopram in 2003. Over the years I have made three attempts at withdrawing from Citalopram. I had very little help from my doctor who told me that I could just stop cold turkey and then go back on them if the depression/ anxiety returned, which it always did. My last attempt to withdraw was in 2011. It was disastrous, I ended up a quivering wreck and was convinced I was going to die. Went back on citalopram and was told I would probably need to stay on SSRI’s for life. Stabilised after a couple of months, but didn’t feel quite right so was put on 10mg Ecitalopram. Over the last few years I made some significant lifestyle changes; moved into a new house, started getting some regular exercise, improved diet, reduced alcohol consumption and quit smoking. Nov 2014 - was switched back to citalopram 20mg. No explanation as to why, I went to collect the repeat prescription and it contained citalopram with a note saying this was a new course. Anyway, i took what I was given and assumed the doctor knew what he was doing. 15 Jan 2015 - Life seemed more positive and i once again felt the urge to quit the anti-depressants and be free of the side effects (agoraphobia, emotional numbness, twitching muscles, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, tiredness). I took 10mg for 2 weeks, then 5mg for two weeks and 2.5mg for a further two weeks, before jumping off. Mar 2015 - I had two weeks of feeling really good. I had tons of energy, was getting out more, was starting to make plans for the future, my emotions were coming back, best of all, I was starting to feel like me again. I had a few brain zaps and headaches, but nothing that I couldn't cope with. I felt that this time things would be different and that I would finally be free of these drugs. Then I crashed. I woke up very early one morning with a feeling of dread, terror and loneliness. Everything had changed overnight. I had severe anxiety, a tight chest, knotted stomach, heart palpitations and difficulty breathing. The world seemed unreal. Everything had suddenly become a huge effort. I was unable to spend any time alone and was worrying about the most ridiculous things. In hindsight, it was at this point that I should have reinstated, but I was determined to be A.D. free, so I put up some blackout curtains to help with the early waking, stopped drinking coffee and tried to distract myself by keeping busy. April 2015 - I discovered this site and learnt about withdrawal symptoms, windows and waves, supplements and tapering. The information gave me some relief as I now knew what was happening to me. I have been taking supplements for a few weeks (300mg magnesium, 1300mg omega 3 and 25mg diphenhydramine) which I feel has eased some of the symptoms. However, I have been reluctant to reinstate because I had a window that lasted for two days and thought I was making progress. That was a couple of weeks ago and I’m feeling awful again now. It is becoming clear that I’m probably sensitised to SSRI’s after long term use and that I might have to suffer a protracted withdrawal. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new doctor. Im going to ask her for a low dose of citalopram and something to help me get a proper night’s sleep. I just hope that I haven’t left it too late to reinstate, stabilise and conduct a very slow taper. I really wish I had found this site back in January and had not had to suffer this cold turkey hell.
  7. Dear peer forum members, I am writing here searching for hope and your support and advice. My name is Yulia, I am 27 years old and I am from Russia. Here is my sad story. There was a unfortunate point in my life when I almost had given up due to the life situation. Therefore it happened so that I had to take Lexapro antidepressant not by my wish but by insistance of my parents. First time it was introduced it when I was in a psychiatric clinic - I was given phenasepam in glass drop water and 10mg of Lexapro.. for around 2 months. It was zombifying me, giving a flat emotional state and a brain fog. After I left the clinic - as I was not feeling good with Lexapro - I have cold turkeyed it without telling the doctor and parents because they would insist on continuing and increasing the dosage. Then when the doctor got to know - it was reinstated, 5 days with 5 mg and then 10.. the reaction of the was even worse but I continued. I cold turkeyed it again after 2 months.. I understand this sounds bizzare but at that point I was very weak and couldnt take my own individual decisions and was afraid to spoil relationships with parents who were my only closest people. I cannot imagine now how could I possibly be so careless with these drugs.. they are evil. I totally understand that agreeing for the drugs first and then quitting them was a big mistake. My problem is that cold turkeying left me with severe brain fog and cognitive issues - my problem now is that it is very hard to think (blank mind), generate ideas, make plans for the future.. I just dont have any thoughts, they just do not appear in mind.. When I try to concentrate - thoughts just disappear. When I try to make a decision or weight between two options - brain doesnt give an argument for one or another.. there is just nothing. This is catastrophy.. I feel I can do well when I am told what to do, but when I need to think myself, this just doesnt work.. I feel my learning abilities decreased and the memory is not that sharp as it was before (( So far 2 months have passed since I cold turkued Lexapro the second time. I do understand that I have totally screwed up the system by these meds but I pray to God to forgive me for this mistake and give me a chance to heal..Luckily I have a source of income with a remote work. In an attempt to recover I have turned to natural methods and detox - tried dry fasting (5 days) and water fasting (planned 21 day, but I was doing this under supervision and was allowed to do only full 19 days because of the weight loss). I quit it with 5 days on juices and today had a raw dinner. I feel that the cleanse was not complete, that I need to do more. I have researched the whole internet about healing and naturopathic methods same as about cleansing and drug withdrawals. I found Gerson therapy diet plans, raw vegan lifestyle, juice fasting etc. I plan to stick to all that, also physical exercise.I do plan running twice a day, they say it increases neurogenesis, drink distilled water to flush out the toxins and stay on juices. People do incredible things trying to recover - like 90 days juice fast etc. Please tell me - do I move in the right direction? Is the detoxification the key to reducing withdrawal effect? Or do I need supplimenting? Somehow I think that detox is the key... Shall I do an orange juice fast? Distilled water, sport - what does help? I would need any possible advice on how to help the brain recover and get rid of this horrible brain fog and blank mind as it is horrifying to live further life with such situation...I would appreciate any help. Kind regards, Yulia
  8. Hi there, thank god I found you guys! dont really know how to begin.. basically, at the beginning of July I went to see my doctor about my Social Anxiety Disorder that I've suffered with since I can remember. I was hoping he would refer me for CBT but instead he put me on 50mg of Sertraline. After 4 or so days on I had THE BIGGEST (my first ever one) panic attack. I was so convinced that I was dying that I called an ambulance. I went to the hospital and they confirmed it was a panic attack, caused by my anxiety. Of course I didn't question them because they're the ones who are supposed to know what they are doing. I came home and continued taking the pills, a few days after that I had a full day of waves of panic attacks - landing me in a&e AGAIN. I knew it had to be the Sertraline. I've never had panic attacks before, heck I didn't even know what one was! The following day I went to my GP and explained my situation but he was adamant that the Sertraline was not the cause of my problems. I went home disappointed and frustrated. These panics continued for 12 days until I decided enough was enough! I marched back to my GP and told him I wasn't going to take them anymore because they were causing mayhem. He laughed at me, BELLY LAUGHED and said in a funny tone "Well if YOU THINK these pills are causing your panic attacks then I'll give you something else" and he then prescribed me Citalopram. Now, I have been on Citalopram before (2013) for depression and had no problem with them so I was more than willing to try them again. BUT OH NO, They WORSENED the feelings I was already getting. So after 4 days of them, I stopped taking them. When I stopped them, I felt back to normal for almost a week.. Then withdrawals began. Swollen head feeling waves of panic stabbing pains in throat stiff muscles loose stools cramps pressure in ears tinnitus the list goes on.. of course I didn't know I was in withdrawals or that you could even have withdrawals because no information was given to me about them. It wasn't until good old Google informed me of these withdrawals just by me typing in SSRI.. And on the suggested list popped up SSRI Withdrawal. I am now on Day 36 of withdrawals and barely hanging on by a thread. Im Jodie, nice to meet you all.
  9. Hello, my name is Mike. I am a 52 yo man who was first put on psych meds over 12 years ago. I'm sure my story is similar to many of yours: go to the family doc depressed, get a scrip for an antidepressant, get worse, get sent to a psychiatrist, get put on more meds, get worse, go inpatient.... It goes on and on. I have been hospitalized 5 times in the past 12 years and at my worst I was taking 6 meds daily (14 pills). I have been on 24 different meds and nothing has worked. For the past year my pdoc has been pushing ECT. I am diagnosed Bipolar II, GAD, and OCD. About a year ago I started reading on the internet about iatrogenisis on mental patients and decided with the help of my pdoc to start whittling down some of these meds. It has taken all that time but I am now down to two meds, both low dose (geodon and Luvox) and I am tapering both of those now. Geodon will be last to go because it has been the only one that has had a positive effect, it will be hard to quit I think. It has been tough but I am feeling better, more stable than in years and I've even lost a bunch of weight that the meds put on. I happily stumbled across this site today and hope to get and give help to others who are in a similar situation.
  10. Moderator note - link to Severntiger's benzo thread: Severntiger: Tried Valium Cold Turkey - Evil side effects - Now Attempting Tapering I am 39. I have had chronic insomnia and anxiety all my life. From age 14 I have had drug and alcohol addiction and dependency problems. In 2014 I discovered, through a friend, an illicit source of good quality Valium where I could get as much as I wanted when I wanted through the post. I started off using them as "occasional use" to help me sleep when there was an emergency situation the next day, e.g. job interview, having to move home but then it quickly turned into using them for stressful situations, e.g. noisy flatmates, stress at work etc. and that of course turned into most days. So for the last 2 and a half years I have been taking Valium more days than not with an average dose of 52mg a day. I started to get seriously worried about my sleeping pill consumption end of 2015 and so in 2016 and 2017 I have recorded my Valium (and other sleeping tablet) consumption every single day. Therefore I have been able to work out each month how many days I took Valium and what the average dose is. Oddly my Valium consumption has been sporadic, e.g. not every day or the same amount every day. e.g. my latest record before I decided to try cold turkey. 06/07/2017 – 30mg 07/07/2017 – 30mg 08/07/2017 – 30mg 09/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 10/07/2017 – 60mg 11/07/2017 – 90mg 12/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 13/07/2017 – 80mg 14/07/2017 - Clean 15/07/2017 - Clean 16/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 17/07/2017 - Clean 18/07/2017 - Clean 19/07/2017 – 30mg 20/07/2017 – 30mg 21/07/2017 – 120mg 22/07/2017 – Didn’t sleep as too much Mephadrone 23/07/2017 – 90mg 24/07/2017 – 60mg 25/07/2017 – 60mg 26/07/2017 – 80mg I then tried to go cold turkey, using Zopiclone to help sleep, until I ended up taking 75mg of Zopiclone on 02/08/2017 and 03/08/2017 and hallucinating and going AWOL and not being able to function at work or outside work. Last Friday 4th August, 5 days ago, I then threw all my Zopiclone in the bin and decided I was going to come off everything. And its here that the nightmare has started For 4 days I didn’t sleep a wink, apart from 3 hours passing out after necking a bottle of wine at 3am one night. I had the worst anxiety/panic attacks I have ever had. I felt that my skin was crawling, apparantly. My flat mate said I was wide eyed, on edge, jumpy and acting crazy. Sunday night after 3 Nitol I still couldn’t sleep a wink and Monday (2 days ago) I tried to go into work but couldn’t function properly ( I am trying to hold down a Management Accountant job) and after another sleepness night and rising panic I had to admit defeat, phone in sick yesterday (Tuesday) and look to the internet for help where I learnt that going Cold Turkey was the worst thing to do and that Valium was worse to come of than herion. So I panicked big time and went to the doctor. Thankfully the doctor was very nice and agreed that tapering off was the best solution and he would help me come off them legitimatly so no need for the black market. I am now on 20mg a day for 4 weeks then to go back to him and see where I am and try to reduce the amount. He hopes I can get off them by Christmas. I took 20mg last night and immediately calmed down and slept for 5-6 hours and feel shattered but much better today. My question is: Do I now go onto 20mg every evening before bed? Or do I try to go without any Valium every now and again and see how many clean days I can get before any side effects kick in in which case I can just take 20mg again before bed?
  11. Hello everyone, thank you for creating and building such a fantastic resource. It’s so helpful to read about the journeys of others here. I was advised by my GP to speak with a psychiatrist in April 2016. The GP suspected I had depression & anxiety. I met with a psychiatrist for an assessment. I’d been through a lot of stressful experiences in life. Life had dealt me a tough hand, and I was already quite vulnerable when I arrived in his office. At the end of the assessment, the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and prescribed me Bupropion 300mg and clonazepam 2 mg+ per day. I was never keen on the idea of taking medication, but the Dr said I needed it as I had “disorders” caused by chemical imbalances, and that I was lucky to have made it this far without it. I don’t believe that for one moment and now feel I was misinformed. If I had been warned about the side effects, I would never have put them in my body. I’ve been through some hard times, but the medication has served me with the hardest and most agonising four months of my life. To make things worse, after a couple of months seeing him every few weeks the psychiatrist offered me a job. It was a slightly unusual series of events, but I felt lucky to have been given the opportunity. I worked hard, was often praised for it and I was given reassurance my role was pretty much permanent. I loved my job. It gave me purpose and a role in the world. My self-esteem rocketed as I felt I’d been specially selected for showing signs of promise, it changed everything. However, the different roles called for different protocols, and the roles of “therapist” and “boss” required disparate and often conflicting styles of relating. The Doctor providing me with a job and treating me outside of the clinic caused the boundaries between Psychiatrist and employer to become extremely blurred. Even though it was unorthodox, I pinned a lot of faith on the Psychiatrist, his advice and the job he gave me. He gave me hope and faith for the future. August 2016: Prescribed Sertraline 100mg due to depression remaining and increasing number of bad moods. October 2016: While at work the Psychiatrist commented he suspected I had ADHD. Despite not suffering from day to day symptoms I completed the DIVA ( ADHD assessment ) with him, He prescribed methylphenidate 10mg 2-3 times a day. Over time I didn’t feel any improvement in mood, so the dose was increased to 20mg x5 (up to 100mg+ per day). I asked the Psychiatrist about alternative ADHD treatments as I was apprehensive about taking more medication. The Psychiatrist informed me that there were no ADHD treatments in my area and even if there were he would not be prepared to enter into a shared care agreement. I believed treatment with him was my only option. I was told there were no services or specialists other than him and the only treatment available was medication. March 2017: The symptoms started with a lump sensation in my throat like there's some thing stuck, maybe it’s my thyroid. I went to the GP who said it was globus or anxiety and it was nothing to worry about, but I know it’s not anxiety as it’s there even when I’m not anxious. Next came tremors, dizziness and chronic fatigue. I was struggling to think, speak and walk. I felt as though a part of my brain had shut down. I had strong pains in my chest, dull aches that moved around my back and occasional shooting stabbing pains in my back and leg that stopped me in my tracks when I did walk. April 2017: The relationship seemed to work well initially but became very confusing until eventually I was dropped not only occupationally but therapeutically. My false sense of security was pulled from beneath my feet. I'm sorry to say last time the Psychiatrist, and I spoke he was abrupt, abrasive, insensitive and rude. I’ve been left in shock, fear, trepidation and with more health problems than before I met the Psychiatrist. At the time I thought the stress of losing my job caused me to become unwell, but after discovering James Moores Mad in America podcast, listing to peoples stories and reading a little, I think I’d reached a tolerance point with the medication and started to have terrible side effects. By this point, I’d lost faith in the Doctor so felt I couldn’t ask him for help. I think part of me knew it was the medication as I went to my GP, firstly to find the Psychiatrist hadn’t been keeping my records up to date. I told the GP what I had been prescribed, and I was told it would be impossible to identify what was causing the problems. I naively agreed with my GP that the best option would be to stop taking all medication, however stopping without tapering has left me with a long list of withdrawal symptoms. I stopped taking sertraline, clonazepam & methylphenidate that day and cut my dose of bupropion in half for one week then stopped the following week completely. Every symptom I already had, got worse, tremors, dizziness, feeling unsteady, feeling like I might pass out, loss of coordination, back pain. The fatigue was so bad, I couldn’t walk for more than a minute or so which lead to me not being able to leave the house. My partner was having real trouble getting me out of bed in the morning, and after a few hours of being up, I’d need to go back to bed due to feeling exhausted. I think I was putting it down to severe depression, but I didn’t feel depressed, I just felt numb. After a couple of days of stopping I started to get really bad night sweats, I’d wake up stinky, drenched with my mouth tasting how I smelt, it was horrible. The chest & back pain continued to get worse and progressed to tingling and numbness in my arm. I’ve been to the hospital three times in the past four months in various states of feeling close to death but sent home every time. I’ve been to the GP many times as the side effects have left me with so many physical symptoms and feeling so ill. I had numerous blood tests and even though I felt like I’d been poisoned every test came back clear. August 2017: The fatigue has lifted slightly, the part of my brain that felt as though it had broken is slowly coming back, and I’m smelling much better :). I continue to have flu like symptoms and intense joint and muscle pain, mainly in my back, shoulder and arm and I’m not entirely sure if the pain will ever go away. I feel like a very rickety eighty-year-old. My GP finally acknowledged some of these side effects last week. They haven’t been able to give me much support due to stopping taking so many different medications at the same time and stopping cold turkey. The GP did frustratingly say some of what I’m going through maybe down to the return of depression and anxiety. I’m only depressed as I’m in so much pain and have anxiety as my nerves are messed up. I’m a little worried that the medication has caused permanent damage. I accept a return in my depression and anxiety, but I have so many physical difficulties that began following and since stopping taking the medication. I trusted the Psychiatrist and put my life in his hands. Looking back, I feel like I was led astray, betrayed and like I’ve been chemically assaulted. Before everything went wrong, I recommended the Psychiatrist to some friends who also became patients of his. They were given a similar diagnosis to the one I’d been given, told they also had chemical imbalances and they too prescribed a similar cocktail of medication including methylphenidate and told to contact him when they needed a repeat prescription. After a couple of months, they both began asking me why he wasn’t returning their calls or emails. When I spoke with him about this, he said they had contacted him last minute, and for that, he wasn’t going to reply right away as he didn’t do last minute. Eventually one of my friends requested to have her care transferred as she lost faith in him. The other works at one of his clinics, and is still having problems with him returning her emails and calls and providing her with prescriptions when needed. She has told me there'd been many occasions recently that other patients of his have called his clinic in tears as they are unable to get hold of him. I also know a woman who was under his care at the inpatient unit long before I met him. She said he had given her a combination of medications. She told me it made her feel like a zombie. For one reason or another, she was transferred to a different psychiatrist who questioned why she was on so much medication and immediately began to reduce her dose. No one was warned about side effects and withdrawals, supported, monitored or made aware they’d have to request prescriptions on the Psychiatrists personal terms. It was hugely irresponsible of him to tell people they need medication due to a medical condition and chemical imbalance and to encourage dependence on medication and not provide support, information, monitoring and often fail to provide the advised medication to patients dependant on it. I’m so happy to have found this incredible community and source of information, it's allowing me to start making sense of what I’ve been and am going through. It’s such a relief to learn I’m not the only one feeling this way. The support and compassion I’ve seen on this forum is incredible and a brilliant way of making good of what everyone here has been through. Trusting I’m going to get better and connecting with others isn’t easy at the moment, but I’m hoping it’s going to get easier. My heart goes out to everyone that has been through or who is going through withdrawal. x
  12. Hello. I need some info on a procedure i found out works for my situation. I am taking Carbamazepine ( or Tegretol ) every third day ( when at work ) to cope with stressful situations. I read about everywhere it needs to be taken each day, but i feel not to take it that often. I control my anxiety at home, but at performing my job my emotions seem to overwhelm me, so i take this drug. I feel fine and in the evening i don't feel depressed any longer while at work ( i used to become very depressed in the evening due to staying late; these are the requierements of the job ). I started taking Carbamazepine so i don't feel the need of any benzo ( they ask for higher and higher doses to be taken to work every time, which is nuisance ). Is it possible to continue taking Carbamazepine every third day and be safe? What are the risks of this way of dealing with this situation ?
  13. Hi! I was in the hospital a couple weeks ago and was prescribed zyprexa and treated up to 25mg. Previous to the medication I was working on an art career. I hated the side effects of the medication and when I was in the hospital I could feel and see all the creative ideas I had nearly vanishing. I want to add that I was also on an antipsychotic for depression and anxiety since my mother just died. I went from a bubbly, creative, ADHD person with a wide emotional range to flat. When I came home I didn't realize I needed to titrate off the medication and went cold turkey. It's been a couple weeks and I'm terrified this is my new normal because at first I had a lot of feelings bubbling at the surface from my mom's death that I couldn't really cope with since I couldn't really sort them out like normal. My brain is foggy and I'm upset because I used to make mental connections so easily that I was working on videos and stories and an art business! I wanted to travel and loved nature! I feel like I also put too much emotional strain on myself because I was making a lot of social plans and not really focusing on my art because of the depression as a loss of my mom. I was wondering if there was any way to fix the brain damage I suffered since I've been off the medication a couple weeks now.
  14. Hello, Im a 28yo male, from Brazil, and Im desperate! - 2005 start taking Paroxetine 40mg, no big deal, worked quite nice. - 2006 stopped cold turkey, not more than a week with brain zaps and I was fine. - 2007 anxiety and depression came back, like when I wasnt on Paroxetine. - 2007 back to Paroxetine. I was "normal" again. - 2013 depression started again, transitioned to LexaPro 15 + Wellbutrin XL 300 with very few problems, 2 weeks and I was fine. - 2015 dropped Wellbutrin cold turkey without problems. - 04/2017 Transition to Pristiq 50, for five days I took half lexapro pill + half pristiq, the problems started, nausea, headaches, muscle stifness, neck pain, after these 5 days, things were the same... starting feeling miserable =(, I talked to my MD, she said to taper off Pristiq, 25mg for 5 days than 12,5 for five more than, stop taking. First drop and the brain zaps started, insomnia kicked in hard. - 05/12/2017 one week without Pristiq, I cant handle what Im feeling anymore, the zaps are driving me insane, I cant sleep properly, my body and head aches, my concentration is gone. Called my MD and she prescribed me lexotan to help ease the symptons. Still not taking it. I dont know if what Im experiencing is withdrawal from Lexapro or Pristiq, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!, should I go back to Lexapro and try tapering it slowly or should I keep going like I am? I just want to get rid of the freaking zaps! Im quite desperate, sorry for my bad english!
  15. Going through various tests for bodily ill health. Had an endoscopy which caused MORE physical symptoms, plus anxiety. After standard blood tests all clear, told new symptoms down to Panic Disorder, after the endoscopy, (I personally dont agree, but gave it a shot). Given Mirtazapine 15mg one at night 10th Feb. (plus x15 5mg tabs of Diazepam for emergencies). Took for 2weeks, no change at all. I stopped it by taking 1/2 tab for a few nights. Was in A&E 29th March, tests done for physical symptoms, told its probably anxiety. Prescribed Buspirone 5mg x3 times a day, from 29th March evening to last night 1st April. I've had the most awful side effects which really are causing me to be anxious. The short half life makes it very difficult to get the timing right & the symptoms are horrendous; not able to concentrate, confusion & irrational reactions to stimuli, like sounds, visual stuff etc & unwanted thoughts. I'm not sleeping properly either & I'm having random muscle spasms. I do not want this drug in my system. This morning, I've not taken it. I feel like I'm going crazy when it happens & it makes me panic. Is it safe to take 2.5mg Diazepam to help cope with the withdrawal symptoms? Not constant use, just when it becomes too much. I dont want a protracted tapering withdrawl if I can avoid it.Last time I took a Diazepam (5mg) was a week ago I think. I've posted this in the Benzo forum aswell.
  16. My stats: Male Age 19 Green eyes Good body 6ft tall Tall handsome looking for love, passion. Well endowed. Basically I've got a giant...whoopsss, wrong forum! Forgive me! Shame because I have got a massive....problem! Hi all! How are my fellow ssri buddies who are/were going toe to toe with these drugs? I'm new and here, and am here to talk about my withdrawal, Representing the many of us who have been lied too, deliberately forced, left in denial and lost are own true self to oblivion. For those of us who are pushing on forwards redeeming our full potential becoming the strongest version of our self. Because all of this is just experience really isn't it? We took these medications as a result of how we were feeling, a by-product of the demons we battle with inside us. Life tests us, these walls and road blocks that are put in front of us mould us. They make or break us. It is our choice if we choose to slide backwards or push on through. Anyhow! Enough of the dramatic, pretentious, opening introductory literature rubbish! Of which I am compensating for my tiny brain, But of which I hope some will find enlightening. I am no uneducated peasant Ill have you know my good sir! I do ramble don't I?! haha Anyway, I've had an underlying mood disorder, or mental illness...what ever you want to call it for as long as I can possibly remember. Bad anxity, OCD and deppression, cue violins and sympathetic music! But funnily enough I was convinced I hadn't. Up until last year I was sure that my problems were biological, Or perhaps a tad In denial when I look back! Even with the fact that both my parents and sister are on ssri of one sort or another who lack the emotional capacity of a butter knife and are practically robots... I respectively refuse to became chemically lobotomized and join your robo-cult! Anyways I dropped out of college down to extreme tiredness and lack of ability to think etc.. and turned to alcohol. More wine squire! vida did flowww! Unfortunately like pringles once you pop you cant stop! This didn't help obviously and promised myself that I would find out what was truly wrong with me. I went down the medical route. Unfortunately being a Brit unlike our trans atlantic cousins, with your 'medical insurance' and 'healthcare viewed as a consumer product' ensuring the patients health is treated optimally! Over here Its different. Although the healthcare is national and public for all, it is socialist in nature- I succeeded In avoiding the word communist their. I did this to avoid America breaking ties with our country ending are special relationship forever to associate us with extreme evil! Yes well here its here all about the functionality of the patient and spent over a thousand pounds going private to several doctors getting blood tests all under the sun to try and discover that mystery illness! The last doctor I went to admitted that biologically I was fine, which was ruled out that I had something psychology wrong with me and gave me the ssri citalopram 20mg as casually as that. How dare you! I have nether been more insulted In my entire life I Cried! How dare you give me the stigma of a mental illness! Not even an evaluation! This is immoral! inhuman! unethical! I shall not being subjected to this! I demand I see your doctors degree! Call the guards! Off with his head! Obviously that never happened. I simply got my meds and left. After taking them for 6 weeks with all manner of side effects that I won't go into now I stopped them. ended It. finished it. Because I didn't like who I was becoming... Because I didn't want to have to take a drug to escape reality instead of dealing with it myself! Redemption come within ma brothers! So I stopped cold turkey... Because I couldn't get any more tablets? Because I just didn't want anymore of this poison in my body? Or because I'm becoming a full time bad man? I don't know! haha I've been off for 5 weeks! cue applause! My withdrawl! 1st week vertigo, dizziness, headaches! mood swings! 2nd week, just dizziness and depression 3rd week improvement! 4th improvement! 5th week which Is what I'm In now! I've noticed I'm getting a lot of brain fog? Like It takes me longer to say what I wanted to say? Cognitively impaired and my short term memory is suffering! Very annoying and affecting my work! Any advice would be much appreciated on how to approach this thank you everyone for reading much love to you all and best of wishes! Ps. Big pharma you are a rotten cancer criminal organisation! Your deadly pills ravage the western world like a plague stealing the lives of people! You should all be shot at dawn!
  17. I've always been baffled by how I survived 5 months after a cold turkey (basically 4 weeks rapid taper) of an SSRI without many of my major symptoms that I suffer with now. I went from 40mg - 0mg over the course of August 2015. Around the end of September I began to experience shooting pains in my head (I guess these were brain zaps) along with a white dot flying across my vision every so often. Then I had shooting pains in my chest and a few dizzy spells. Then a month or two later I started getting anxious and getting palpitations when drinking alcohol. Then 5 months off I had a heavy night of drinking and woke up feeling very weird (dream like), when I went to the toilet I felt like I was free falling - that made me panic and cue my first ever panic attack (felt like a stroke). Then I started getting my main symptom which has stuck with me till now 15 months later - this swaying/rocking/off balance sensation, tinnitus, floaters etc. Has anyone experienced minimal withdrawal symptoms and didn't even know they were in withdrawal and then got hit with a huge symptoms that far out from stopping? Can anyone relate to this? I think its withdrawal for periods of time, then other times I think perhaps its something else.
  18. Hey there My name is Tyler I am 27 years old. I have been off zoloft now for almost 8 years and still suffer greatly. I started taking zoloft when I was 19 years old at 25mg every day for exactly 1 year time. I was prescribed it for night panic attacks aka anxiety disorder. Before zoloft I could only have Panic Attacks at night which started around 7:30pm. My friends would always laugh and say I was cursed and sadly I started to believe them. I want to make it very clear before zoloft I had no depression or chronic fatigue at all. I was the most brilliant ,energy filled person in the world.At the urgent request from my mother she begged me to get help for my attacks as she didn't like to see me suffer and vomit from my panic attacks at night. Against my better judgement I started taking zoloft when I was 19 at 25 mg. While on the drug it made me feel like a complete zombie and void off all sexual and emotional content. Out of anger from feeling like a complete zombie I stopped taking zoloft cold turkey one year later. That is when complete hell started and where my life may have started to end from that day forward. After stopping cold turkey I was bed ridden with flu like symptoms and electric shocks in the brain which laster roughly 6 weeks. My parents told me that I turned green and almost looked as if I had a stroke. However being so young it was so unlikely that it could happen the doctor would not help me. The next 2 years I went into what felt like complete withdrawl from life and began to dissociate from reality. It was like I was spinning in my head and nothing seemed real, I would completely freak out because I could not tell if I was awake or asleep. I began to have many suicidal thoughts which never seemed to go away. I began also having impulsive thoughts of anger and violence which never was like me at all. I got through the worst which took almost 3 years but it still didn't stop there. I began to experience such chronic fatigue that I didn't have the energy to even move it felt like. I wake up every day feeling dizzy and tired as if I am mentally cut in half with no imagination and huge memory loss problems. It's been 8 years now and I still have not recovered, I wake up feeling the same thing. I feel like I am asleep standing up with no ability to focus. I feel as if my head is completely numb physcially and mentally. I have suicial thoughts daily which I battle to fight back which I don't know why because I don't have much of a life. One of the main things I notice is neck tightness and muscle twitches as if I am developing a movement disease. I still find the strength everyday to get up and try to have a life. Even though I feel 50% slower and that any day could be my last. My question to this community is could going back on zoloft and doing a slow taper give me the recovery I seek? I read a lot about serotonin deficiency and it seems I match 100% of the symptoms of that. Thanks for the read and taking the time to send any advice, it's greatly appreciated.
  19. Hi there, I've posted about my situation elsewhere but thought this forum would be more fitting with what I'm going through. About 5 weeks ago, I stopped taking 40mg of Citalopram. I ran out of the medicine and I decided not to renew it since I had been considering quitting the medication. The first week was alright. Felt a bit tired. The second week started to get worse. Some of the problems I had before taking the medication started coming back. On the 3rd week, my anxiety became non-stop. Started waking up panicking from this point on. Week 4 was probably worse. Lost interest in my hobbies and interests and started having suicide thoughts. Week 5 was generally better and I thought it would finally wear off. But nope I'm currently on my 6th week without Citaloprams and I seem to be worse than the previous weeks. Today I feel I want to throw up but it doesn't happen. Don't know if the feeling is caused by guilt, bitterness or my body. So far my problems are mainly mental and I haven't had any physical symptoms apart from less energy and probably nausea just today.
  20. Hi my screen name is Anti-extreme. I wish I could help others who are dealing with anti-depressants. However I am really only able to share insight on the disastrous consequences a person can experience when taking anti-depressants. I had written a blog on the subject, and is easily found by searching, "Geisinger cruelty Elavil," and you will find the blog, "Cruelty in Medicine" My intent with the blog is show that patients must be very careful when dealing with practitioners. That also treads on the issue of ethics in medicine and I am still researching the ethics issue. Is it ethical for doctor to immediately stop a person cold turkey based on rumor alone? Is it ethical for a doctor to receive information about patients and the situation strongly shows that the patient never gave that kind of consent to have that kind of information given? In my view there is indication that the clinic received multiple "non-consent" phone calls regarding their patients (I did not list all of the indicators in my blog). Some anti-depressants can be very hard to get off of. Amitriptyline / Elavil is one of those and I would never recommend it to anyone and apparently the medication becomes less effective over time. For most who take the medication, "Its lights out," putting most people to sleep, but then your body isn't going to sleep on its own. After getting off that medicine, a neurologist later prescribed it, only stating its a non-narcotic medication. After realizing it was Amitriptyline, I immediately said, "no thank you". Obviously the issue is wide spread as this forum is entitled, "Surviving Antidepressants."
  21. BogiesGirl26: New here

    Hi! I'm Lauren. I lucked up finding this forum last night while doing some research on coming off of Prozac. I've been on different antidepressants for the last 3 years. I just went cold turkey off Prozac. The side effects from the medicine itself are awful. I've seen many of you have gone cold turkey off an AD before so glad I'm not the only one. The only thing I'm worried about once it gets out of my system is the anger/rage that usually comes with it. I found on here last night journal therapy and have gotten a journal and now have two entries in it. It helps!! Oh btw I was on 10 mg of Prozac. I struggle with bad anxiety and depression. I think I have a new one tho...PTSD bc I recently lost my mom suddenly and that has me worried and obsessing over all my loved ones safety ect as well as reliving each morning how I found out. It scares me so much that it'll happen again. Anyway. I hope to get to know some of y'all and hopefully make some great friends here. Not everyone understands these things but I feel y'all will bc y'all are walking a similar path. Lauren
  22. Hey ya'll I'm new here (even though I joined a long time ago, but for some reason didn't stick around. (life happens) I have a crazy story, who doesn't? Was prescribed prozac for ADD. Gave me anxiety like mad, became an alcoholic. Quit cold turkey, developed agora phobia and entire year of darkness and sabatoged all my friendships could not function on a social level and was gripped with fear / anxiety but now it's been 3 years and have never gone back to any meds anyone with a similar story? I don't recommend cold turkey to anyone but I didn't know any better. If anyone does go through with this, I would replace this with exercise and healthy eating, which i was not too keen on unfortunately cheers
  23. I am in serious need of help. I don't know where to turn. I have to apologize if I am on the wrong thread but my post is out of desperation. I started taking fluoxetine capsules in 2011 to treat my OCD and was on for about 2 years. Throughout the 2 years I was in a difficult place and must admit that I misused the drug, sometimes taking more than I should have. I discontinued use cold turkey because I got pregnant in 2013. In 2014, about 6 months after the birth of my daughter, I was prescribed the same dosage for PPD (no more OCD) and discontinued again cold turkey after about 3 months. In 2015 I was prescribed again fr depression and only took 1 pill before deciding I no longer wanted to take this medication. Here I am about 9 months later and I am having depression, anxiety and headaches as well as extreme fatigue. Is this a result of discontinutation or simply the return of the PPDor depression? wouould it be beneficial to begin taking the medication again and slowly be tapered off? or is that just going to bring me right back to where I am today?
  24. I took my last pill 4 days ago with the intention of quitting cold Turkey. Really hoping I can make it!! Going through the whole vertigo/brain zap phase right now...no fun. One day at a time.
  25. Hi Ginger, I was very encouraged by your experience with paxil recovery I saw on one of the threads. In January of this year I quit paxil cold turkey. I had been taking it for 24 months, the majority of it at 60 mg. I went through about a good two months of physical withdrawal symptoms. I thought I was in the clear after this but then I was hit by an episode of acute psychosis where I felt I was being stalked by someone. This went away and moved onto a fear of sollipsism "That the world is not real". I was originally taking the paxil for OCD. Now I worry that I have somehow permanently done something to my brain by going cold turkey. or that I have already lost my mind. Can you give me a little bit more detail about your experience or some advice to help me. I had to reinstate zoloft and also take ativan. Ginger's topic: Ginger: how I got here
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