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Found 35 results

  1. I think I’ve made an awful mistake. I did a too fast taper off of Citalopram in Jan/ Feb and have been having awful withdrawal symptoms for about a month now. I thought the symptoms would resolve themselves after a few weeks, but they haven’t and I fear that I may have now permanently damaged my brain. I was prescribed 20mg paroxetine in 2001 for depression and anxiety. It worked really well. Life was wonderful and I felt fantastic for about a year. Then the Paroxetine lost it’s effectiveness. I took it for another year before deciding that it wasn’t doing anything and that I was cured so could just stop taking it. I relapsed six months later and was put on 20mg Citalopram in 2003. Over the years I have made three attempts at withdrawing from Citalopram. I had very little help from my doctor who told me that I could just stop cold turkey and then go back on them if the depression/ anxiety returned, which it always did. My last attempt to withdraw was in 2011. It was disastrous, I ended up a quivering wreck and was convinced I was going to die. Went back on citalopram and was told I would probably need to stay on SSRI’s for life. Stabilised after a couple of months, but didn’t feel quite right so was put on 10mg Ecitalopram. Over the last few years I made some significant lifestyle changes; moved into a new house, started getting some regular exercise, improved diet, reduced alcohol consumption and quit smoking. Nov 2014 - was switched back to citalopram 20mg. No explanation as to why, I went to collect the repeat prescription and it contained citalopram with a note saying this was a new course. Anyway, i took what I was given and assumed the doctor knew what he was doing. 15 Jan 2015 - Life seemed more positive and i once again felt the urge to quit the anti-depressants and be free of the side effects (agoraphobia, emotional numbness, twitching muscles, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, tiredness). I took 10mg for 2 weeks, then 5mg for two weeks and 2.5mg for a further two weeks, before jumping off. Mar 2015 - I had two weeks of feeling really good. I had tons of energy, was getting out more, was starting to make plans for the future, my emotions were coming back, best of all, I was starting to feel like me again. I had a few brain zaps and headaches, but nothing that I couldn't cope with. I felt that this time things would be different and that I would finally be free of these drugs. Then I crashed. I woke up very early one morning with a feeling of dread, terror and loneliness. Everything had changed overnight. I had severe anxiety, a tight chest, knotted stomach, heart palpitations and difficulty breathing. The world seemed unreal. Everything had suddenly become a huge effort. I was unable to spend any time alone and was worrying about the most ridiculous things. In hindsight, it was at this point that I should have reinstated, but I was determined to be A.D. free, so I put up some blackout curtains to help with the early waking, stopped drinking coffee and tried to distract myself by keeping busy. April 2015 - I discovered this site and learnt about withdrawal symptoms, windows and waves, supplements and tapering. The information gave me some relief as I now knew what was happening to me. I have been taking supplements for a few weeks (300mg magnesium, 1300mg omega 3 and 25mg diphenhydramine) which I feel has eased some of the symptoms. However, I have been reluctant to reinstate because I had a window that lasted for two days and thought I was making progress. That was a couple of weeks ago and I’m feeling awful again now. It is becoming clear that I’m probably sensitised to SSRI’s after long term use and that I might have to suffer a protracted withdrawal. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new doctor. Im going to ask her for a low dose of citalopram and something to help me get a proper night’s sleep. I just hope that I haven’t left it too late to reinstate, stabilise and conduct a very slow taper. I really wish I had found this site back in January and had not had to suffer this cold turkey hell.
  2. My brain going into dream condition but not into sleep condition every night or day when ever I attempt to sleep I have believed the information about remote neural monitoring in all over internet and browsed internet 2 years heavily which resulted heavy thought process ,doubts and suspicion over near and dear. So I went to a psychiatrist and requested to bring me out of heavy thoughts.He made me use lorazepam for 10 days ,risperidone and trihexyphenidyl combination drug for 30 days.After 30 days my thoughts reduced so I did not go to doctor again.What a mistake ,I was ignorant of how psychiatry medicines work and slow tapering nor my doctor warned me while prescribing an anti psychotic.It is happened in july 2016. From then my brain going into dreams when ever I attempt to sleep.In october 2016 again I went to the same doctor and reported about the condition I am in.He prescribed olanzapine silently.I started using olanzapine ignorantly and innocently.When i was experiencing stomach upset that is when I researched in the internet about risperidone and olanzapine. Now this is june 2017 I have tapered risperidone and olanzapine safely and became drug free safely.But the thing is my brain still into dream condition and not allowing me to sleep when ever i attempt.My querry is what risperidone and trihexyphenidyl and lorazapam [10 days]did to my brain?what chemicals they blocked.Now stopping them cold turkey did what on my brain?what chemical i should take to get my sleep pattern back.?If I wait patiently with time will the brain correct its condition naturally?Any brain researcher please help.
  3. Hello. I need some info on a procedure i found out works for my situation. I am taking Carbamazepine ( or Tegretol ) every third day ( when at work ) to cope with stressful situations. I read about everywhere it needs to be taken each day, but i feel not to take it that often. I control my anxiety at home, but at performing my job my emotions seem to overwhelm me, so i take this drug. I feel fine and in the evening i don't feel depressed any longer while at work ( i used to become very depressed in the evening due to staying late; these are the requierements of the job ). I started taking Carbamazepine so i don't feel the need of any benzo ( they ask for higher and higher doses to be taken to work every time, which is nuisance ). Is it possible to continue taking Carbamazepine every third day and be safe? What are the risks of this way of dealing with this situation ?
  4. Hi! I was in the hospital a couple weeks ago and was prescribed zyprexa and treated up to 25mg. Previous to the medication I was working on an art career. I hated the side effects of the medication and when I was in the hospital I could feel and see all the creative ideas I had nearly vanishing. I want to add that I was also on an antipsychotic for depression and anxiety since my mother just died. I went from a bubbly, creative, ADHD person with a wide emotional range to flat. When I came home I didn't realize I needed to titrate off the medication and went cold turkey. It's been a couple weeks and I'm terrified this is my new normal because at first I had a lot of feelings bubbling at the surface from my mom's death that I couldn't really cope with since I couldn't really sort them out like normal. My brain is foggy and I'm upset because I used to make mental connections so easily that I was working on videos and stories and an art business! I wanted to travel and loved nature! I feel like I also put too much emotional strain on myself because I was making a lot of social plans and not really focusing on my art because of the depression as a loss of my mom. I was wondering if there was any way to fix the brain damage I suffered since I've been off the medication a couple weeks now.
  5. Hello, Im a 28yo male, from Brazil, and Im desperate! - 2005 start taking Paroxetine 40mg, no big deal, worked quite nice. - 2006 stopped cold turkey, not more than a week with brain zaps and I was fine. - 2007 anxiety and depression came back, like when I wasnt on Paroxetine. - 2007 back to Paroxetine. I was "normal" again. - 2013 depression started again, transitioned to LexaPro 15 + Wellbutrin XL 300 with very few problems, 2 weeks and I was fine. - 2015 dropped Wellbutrin cold turkey without problems. - 04/2017 Transition to Pristiq 50, for five days I took half lexapro pill + half pristiq, the problems started, nausea, headaches, muscle stifness, neck pain, after these 5 days, things were the same... starting feeling miserable =(, I talked to my MD, she said to taper off Pristiq, 25mg for 5 days than 12,5 for five more than, stop taking. First drop and the brain zaps started, insomnia kicked in hard. - 05/12/2017 one week without Pristiq, I cant handle what Im feeling anymore, the zaps are driving me insane, I cant sleep properly, my body and head aches, my concentration is gone. Called my MD and she prescribed me lexotan to help ease the symptons. Still not taking it. I dont know if what Im experiencing is withdrawal from Lexapro or Pristiq, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!, should I go back to Lexapro and try tapering it slowly or should I keep going like I am? I just want to get rid of the freaking zaps! Im quite desperate, sorry for my bad english!
  6. I really can't go into many details right now, as I am in the midst of things. You guys can read my history. I had a mini nervous breakdown after a period of intense life threatening stress, with with a war of nerves from family members, strangers etc. etc. too long of a story. I was misdiagnosed with depression, then as you can read I was repeatedly attacked with drugs. At the moment I can't read a book, go out, hold a conversation... I used to be a computer whiz and I can't re-arrange a few folders on the computer, I am completely drained of any energy, I can't cook for myself, and I suffer from mental pain that ranges from the horrible, completely intolerable pain to the barely tolerable. I 've seen all facets of hell. I 've gone out 10 times in 8 months. I smoke tobacco like a chimney. I 'm terribly addicted to benzos.I am mortified by what I am reading about tardive dysphoria. ------------------------------ Invega 9mg tapered to zero over 6 months Levomepromazine 25mg for 3 months Citalopram raised from 20mg to 80mg over 3 months, at 80mg for 1 year and 5 months Venlaxafine raised from 150mg to 450mg over 3 months (after citalopram) maintained for 1 year and 2 months. Alprazolam from 0.5 to 7(!) mg due to the immense stress of the ads. Down to 2.5mg. Discontinued abruptly with almost no tapering within a week and a half, against all guidelines first the citalopram then the effexor. Moclobemide raised from 200mg to 800mg during a month and half discontinued with no tapering. Fluvoxamine and Venlaxafine 300mg and 450mg, abrupt start, no tapering in discontinuation. 30mg Mirtazapin at night. Currently on 2.5mg alprazolam, Diazepam 5mg for 1.5 months.
  7. Hello everyone! I have CT'd from Prozac use since September 2017 (you can see my history in my signature). It's my 3rd month of withdrawals (but 4 months off Prozac completely) and I'm struggling to find hope that there's success in cold turkeying. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I'm honestly afraid to reinstate. I've had waves and windows interchange so far, and I'm hoping the existence of the windows means I'm recovering. But I'm unsure. Can I keep cold turkeying and recover? Are there successes out there from CT?
  8. Going through various tests for bodily ill health. Had an endoscopy which caused MORE physical symptoms, plus anxiety. After standard blood tests all clear, told new symptoms down to Panic Disorder, after the endoscopy, (I personally dont agree, but gave it a shot). Given Mirtazapine 15mg one at night 10th Feb. (plus x15 5mg tabs of Diazepam for emergencies). Took for 2weeks, no change at all. I stopped it by taking 1/2 tab for a few nights. Was in A&E 29th March, tests done for physical symptoms, told its probably anxiety. Prescribed Buspirone 5mg x3 times a day, from 29th March evening to last night 1st April. I've had the most awful side effects which really are causing me to be anxious. The short half life makes it very difficult to get the timing right & the symptoms are horrendous; not able to concentrate, confusion & irrational reactions to stimuli, like sounds, visual stuff etc & unwanted thoughts. I'm not sleeping properly either & I'm having random muscle spasms. I do not want this drug in my system. This morning, I've not taken it. I feel like I'm going crazy when it happens & it makes me panic. Is it safe to take 2.5mg Diazepam to help cope with the withdrawal symptoms? Not constant use, just when it becomes too much. I dont want a protracted tapering withdrawl if I can avoid it.Last time I took a Diazepam (5mg) was a week ago I think. I've posted this in the Benzo forum aswell.
  9. My stats: Male Age 19 Green eyes Good body 6ft tall Tall handsome looking for love, passion. Well endowed. Basically I've got a giant...whoopsss, wrong forum! Forgive me! Shame because I have got a massive....problem! Hi all! How are my fellow ssri buddies who are/were going toe to toe with these drugs? I'm new and here, and am here to talk about my withdrawal, Representing the many of us who have been lied too, deliberately forced, left in denial and lost are own true self to oblivion. For those of us who are pushing on forwards redeeming our full potential becoming the strongest version of our self. Because all of this is just experience really isn't it? We took these medications as a result of how we were feeling, a by-product of the demons we battle with inside us. Life tests us, these walls and road blocks that are put in front of us mould us. They make or break us. It is our choice if we choose to slide backwards or push on through. Anyhow! Enough of the dramatic, pretentious, opening introductory literature rubbish! Of which I am compensating for my tiny brain, But of which I hope some will find enlightening. I am no uneducated peasant Ill have you know my good sir! I do ramble don't I?! haha Anyway, I've had an underlying mood disorder, or mental illness...what ever you want to call it for as long as I can possibly remember. Bad anxity, OCD and deppression, cue violins and sympathetic music! But funnily enough I was convinced I hadn't. Up until last year I was sure that my problems were biological, Or perhaps a tad In denial when I look back! Even with the fact that both my parents and sister are on ssri of one sort or another who lack the emotional capacity of a butter knife and are practically robots... I respectively refuse to became chemically lobotomized and join your robo-cult! Anyways I dropped out of college down to extreme tiredness and lack of ability to think etc.. and turned to alcohol. More wine squire! vida did flowww! Unfortunately like pringles once you pop you cant stop! This didn't help obviously and promised myself that I would find out what was truly wrong with me. I went down the medical route. Unfortunately being a Brit unlike our trans atlantic cousins, with your 'medical insurance' and 'healthcare viewed as a consumer product' ensuring the patients health is treated optimally! Over here Its different. Although the healthcare is national and public for all, it is socialist in nature- I succeeded In avoiding the word communist their. I did this to avoid America breaking ties with our country ending are special relationship forever to associate us with extreme evil! Yes well here its here all about the functionality of the patient and spent over a thousand pounds going private to several doctors getting blood tests all under the sun to try and discover that mystery illness! The last doctor I went to admitted that biologically I was fine, which was ruled out that I had something psychology wrong with me and gave me the ssri citalopram 20mg as casually as that. How dare you! I have nether been more insulted In my entire life I Cried! How dare you give me the stigma of a mental illness! Not even an evaluation! This is immoral! inhuman! unethical! I shall not being subjected to this! I demand I see your doctors degree! Call the guards! Off with his head! Obviously that never happened. I simply got my meds and left. After taking them for 6 weeks with all manner of side effects that I won't go into now I stopped them. ended It. finished it. Because I didn't like who I was becoming... Because I didn't want to have to take a drug to escape reality instead of dealing with it myself! Redemption come within ma brothers! So I stopped cold turkey... Because I couldn't get any more tablets? Because I just didn't want anymore of this poison in my body? Or because I'm becoming a full time bad man? I don't know! haha I've been off for 5 weeks! cue applause! My withdrawl! 1st week vertigo, dizziness, headaches! mood swings! 2nd week, just dizziness and depression 3rd week improvement! 4th improvement! 5th week which Is what I'm In now! I've noticed I'm getting a lot of brain fog? Like It takes me longer to say what I wanted to say? Cognitively impaired and my short term memory is suffering! Very annoying and affecting my work! Any advice would be much appreciated on how to approach this thank you everyone for reading much love to you all and best of wishes! Ps. Big pharma you are a rotten cancer criminal organisation! Your deadly pills ravage the western world like a plague stealing the lives of people! You should all be shot at dawn!
  10. I've always been baffled by how I survived 5 months after a cold turkey (basically 4 weeks rapid taper) of an SSRI without many of my major symptoms that I suffer with now. I went from 40mg - 0mg over the course of August 2015. Around the end of September I began to experience shooting pains in my head (I guess these were brain zaps) along with a white dot flying across my vision every so often. Then I had shooting pains in my chest and a few dizzy spells. Then a month or two later I started getting anxious and getting palpitations when drinking alcohol. Then 5 months off I had a heavy night of drinking and woke up feeling very weird (dream like), when I went to the toilet I felt like I was free falling - that made me panic and cue my first ever panic attack (felt like a stroke). Then I started getting my main symptom which has stuck with me till now 15 months later - this swaying/rocking/off balance sensation, tinnitus, floaters etc. Has anyone experienced minimal withdrawal symptoms and didn't even know they were in withdrawal and then got hit with a huge symptoms that far out from stopping? Can anyone relate to this? I think its withdrawal for periods of time, then other times I think perhaps its something else.
  11. i became very ill last fall of 2014. I was separated and had 2 children. No support whatsoever from my ex husband. I had to babysit to earn extra money, I was extremely stressed out and I began to drink Monster caffeine drinks and also a lot of coffee each day to keep me going. I always had trouble sleeping but due to my separation and other factors, I could only sleep a few hours per night. I eventually had a psychotic (manic) episode which landed me in the psychiatrist hospital. I had never been been mentally ill in my life. I was 27 at the time of my hospitalization. I was prescribed lithium 1,200 mg per day and zyprexa 20 mg. per day. The psychiatrist never looked at the cause of the psychosis ( caffeine overload) and told me I was bipolar 1 and I would need medication for the rest of my life. I hated both medications and they made me feel horrible. Once symptom I began to develop while on the zyprexa was I felt no pleasure and was extremely bored. I was released from the hospital after a 1 month and 1/2 stay. Soon after, I quit taking all medications cold turkey. ( I was never told no to do so). I had no clue of the dangers of doing such. I almost lost my mind. So I went back on both medications for about 2 weeks, then I quit taking zyprexa becauseI gained 20 pounds in 3 weeks and felt awful. Three days after I quit the zyprexa, I began to experience terrible withdrawals symptoms. I have been off zyprexa for almost four months now and it's been pure hell. A lot of the physical withdrawal symptoms have gone; howvever, I ended up getting rebound depression from stopping the zyprexa cold turkey and I have anhedonia as a main symptom which is really really difficult for me to cope with. I have lost the pleasure that I once had when I was not sick. I cannot feel and pleasure in life and I feel that the drug has ruined me for ever. Every day is a constant struggle as I wake up in the morning and realize that I am not getting better. I fear that my brain was damaged. I have 2 young children who are being taken care of by my mother because I have lost all motivation as well. I find through my endless searches on the internet that there are not many people who have fully recovered from anhedonia. I do not want to see any doctors concerning this because I know they will just tell me that I am going through depression again because I quit taking the medication and they will tell me to back back on them. I began to experience loss of pleasure and extreme boredom while on zyprexa. I have also tapered my lithium down from 1,200 mg to 300 mg. I am scared to taper more at this point. I hope I can receive some help and support through people on this site that have been through this and hopefully they can offer some hope for me.
  12. Hey there My name is Tyler I am 27 years old. I have been off zoloft now for almost 8 years and still suffer greatly. I started taking zoloft when I was 19 years old at 25mg every day for exactly 1 year time. I was prescribed it for night panic attacks aka anxiety disorder. Before zoloft I could only have Panic Attacks at night which started around 7:30pm. My friends would always laugh and say I was cursed and sadly I started to believe them. I want to make it very clear before zoloft I had no depression or chronic fatigue at all. I was the most brilliant ,energy filled person in the world.At the urgent request from my mother she begged me to get help for my attacks as she didn't like to see me suffer and vomit from my panic attacks at night. Against my better judgement I started taking zoloft when I was 19 at 25 mg. While on the drug it made me feel like a complete zombie and void off all sexual and emotional content. Out of anger from feeling like a complete zombie I stopped taking zoloft cold turkey one year later. That is when complete hell started and where my life may have started to end from that day forward. After stopping cold turkey I was bed ridden with flu like symptoms and electric shocks in the brain which laster roughly 6 weeks. My parents told me that I turned green and almost looked as if I had a stroke. However being so young it was so unlikely that it could happen the doctor would not help me. The next 2 years I went into what felt like complete withdrawl from life and began to dissociate from reality. It was like I was spinning in my head and nothing seemed real, I would completely freak out because I could not tell if I was awake or asleep. I began to have many suicidal thoughts which never seemed to go away. I began also having impulsive thoughts of anger and violence which never was like me at all. I got through the worst which took almost 3 years but it still didn't stop there. I began to experience such chronic fatigue that I didn't have the energy to even move it felt like. I wake up every day feeling dizzy and tired as if I am mentally cut in half with no imagination and huge memory loss problems. It's been 8 years now and I still have not recovered, I wake up feeling the same thing. I feel like I am asleep standing up with no ability to focus. I feel as if my head is completely numb physcially and mentally. I have suicial thoughts daily which I battle to fight back which I don't know why because I don't have much of a life. One of the main things I notice is neck tightness and muscle twitches as if I am developing a movement disease. I still find the strength everyday to get up and try to have a life. Even though I feel 50% slower and that any day could be my last. My question to this community is could going back on zoloft and doing a slow taper give me the recovery I seek? I read a lot about serotonin deficiency and it seems I match 100% of the symptoms of that. Thanks for the read and taking the time to send any advice, it's greatly appreciated.
  13. Hi there, I've posted about my situation elsewhere but thought this forum would be more fitting with what I'm going through. About 5 weeks ago, I stopped taking 40mg of Citalopram. I ran out of the medicine and I decided not to renew it since I had been considering quitting the medication. The first week was alright. Felt a bit tired. The second week started to get worse. Some of the problems I had before taking the medication started coming back. On the 3rd week, my anxiety became non-stop. Started waking up panicking from this point on. Week 4 was probably worse. Lost interest in my hobbies and interests and started having suicide thoughts. Week 5 was generally better and I thought it would finally wear off. But nope I'm currently on my 6th week without Citaloprams and I seem to be worse than the previous weeks. Today I feel I want to throw up but it doesn't happen. Don't know if the feeling is caused by guilt, bitterness or my body. So far my problems are mainly mental and I haven't had any physical symptoms apart from less energy and probably nausea just today.
  14. Hi my screen name is Anti-extreme. I wish I could help others who are dealing with anti-depressants. However I am really only able to share insight on the disastrous consequences a person can experience when taking anti-depressants. I had written a blog on the subject, and is easily found by searching, "Geisinger cruelty Elavil," and you will find the blog, "Cruelty in Medicine" My intent with the blog is show that patients must be very careful when dealing with practitioners. That also treads on the issue of ethics in medicine and I am still researching the ethics issue. Is it ethical for doctor to immediately stop a person cold turkey based on rumor alone? Is it ethical for a doctor to receive information about patients and the situation strongly shows that the patient never gave that kind of consent to have that kind of information given? In my view there is indication that the clinic received multiple "non-consent" phone calls regarding their patients (I did not list all of the indicators in my blog). Some anti-depressants can be very hard to get off of. Amitriptyline / Elavil is one of those and I would never recommend it to anyone and apparently the medication becomes less effective over time. For most who take the medication, "Its lights out," putting most people to sleep, but then your body isn't going to sleep on its own. After getting off that medicine, a neurologist later prescribed it, only stating its a non-narcotic medication. After realizing it was Amitriptyline, I immediately said, "no thank you". Obviously the issue is wide spread as this forum is entitled, "Surviving Antidepressants."
  15. Hi! I'm Lauren. I lucked up finding this forum last night while doing some research on coming off of Prozac. I've been on different antidepressants for the last 3 years. I just went cold turkey off Prozac. The side effects from the medicine itself are awful. I've seen many of you have gone cold turkey off an AD before so glad I'm not the only one. The only thing I'm worried about once it gets out of my system is the anger/rage that usually comes with it. I found on here last night journal therapy and have gotten a journal and now have two entries in it. It helps!! Oh btw I was on 10 mg of Prozac. I struggle with bad anxiety and depression. I think I have a new one tho...PTSD bc I recently lost my mom suddenly and that has me worried and obsessing over all my loved ones safety ect as well as reliving each morning how I found out. It scares me so much that it'll happen again. Anyway. I hope to get to know some of y'all and hopefully make some great friends here. Not everyone understands these things but I feel y'all will bc y'all are walking a similar path. Lauren
  16. Hey ya'll I'm new here (even though I joined a long time ago, but for some reason didn't stick around. (life happens) I have a crazy story, who doesn't? Was prescribed prozac for ADD. Gave me anxiety like mad, became an alcoholic. Quit cold turkey, developed agora phobia and entire year of darkness and sabatoged all my friendships could not function on a social level and was gripped with fear / anxiety but now it's been 3 years and have never gone back to any meds anyone with a similar story? I don't recommend cold turkey to anyone but I didn't know any better. If anyone does go through with this, I would replace this with exercise and healthy eating, which i was not too keen on unfortunately cheers
  17. I am in serious need of help. I don't know where to turn. I have to apologize if I am on the wrong thread but my post is out of desperation. I started taking fluoxetine capsules in 2011 to treat my OCD and was on for about 2 years. Throughout the 2 years I was in a difficult place and must admit that I misused the drug, sometimes taking more than I should have. I discontinued use cold turkey because I got pregnant in 2013. In 2014, about 6 months after the birth of my daughter, I was prescribed the same dosage for PPD (no more OCD) and discontinued again cold turkey after about 3 months. In 2015 I was prescribed again fr depression and only took 1 pill before deciding I no longer wanted to take this medication. Here I am about 9 months later and I am having depression, anxiety and headaches as well as extreme fatigue. Is this a result of discontinutation or simply the return of the PPDor depression? wouould it be beneficial to begin taking the medication again and slowly be tapered off? or is that just going to bring me right back to where I am today?
  18. I took my last pill 4 days ago with the intention of quitting cold Turkey. Really hoping I can make it!! Going through the whole vertigo/brain zap phase right now...no fun. One day at a time.
  19. Hi Ginger, I was very encouraged by your experience with paxil recovery I saw on one of the threads. In January of this year I quit paxil cold turkey. I had been taking it for 24 months, the majority of it at 60 mg. I went through about a good two months of physical withdrawal symptoms. I thought I was in the clear after this but then I was hit by an episode of acute psychosis where I felt I was being stalked by someone. This went away and moved onto a fear of sollipsism "That the world is not real". I was originally taking the paxil for OCD. Now I worry that I have somehow permanently done something to my brain by going cold turkey. or that I have already lost my mind. Can you give me a little bit more detail about your experience or some advice to help me. I had to reinstate zoloft and also take ativan. Ginger's topic: Ginger: how I got here
  20. Hey everyone.... I've had GAD and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I've just dealt with it and called it a day. Work triggered more stress so I finally said something to my doc. My sleep hasn't been in the greatest. She put me on 10mg of Escitalopram/Lexapro. I started it on a Monday morning and on my way to work I had the worst head burning feeling of my life. I had to pull over. It was one big wave and stopped after a few minutes. Silly me thought this was just some strange side effect and it would wear off. The burning would come and go in waves, by Wednesday my bp was increased to 145/92. I also have Chronic kidney disease stage 2, so it's ideal to keep bp low and records of it. This was not normal for me...I run around 125/80. Fast forward to Friday evening. I felt off all day. Every emotion heightened, everything burning. My head down to my arms. My heart rate was around 115. I get home, try to relax. Around midnight I have the worst panic attack I've ever had. I fainted at the top of the stairs, they took me by ambulance. They check my bp and it's 180/110. They wouldn't say anything, just gave me a sedative and dismissed me around 2am. At 7am that morning, I wake up to my head on fire again. Back to the hospital I go...new ER doc looked at me and said I was having an adverse reaction to the Escitalopram. I could continue taking it or stop it and find something else. Well, fast forward to eight weeks later. I stopped it cold turkey. I'm back to doing yoga and meditation but my blood pressure has yet to fully return to normal. The head burning has decreased to only when I get a little stressed and constant aches and pains. I pretty much feel like I'm starting over at square one at coping with anxiety and living with it. My body is taking a super long time to heal. I know I have a good ways ahead of.me still.
  21. Hello, my name is Mike. I am a 52 yo man who was first put on psych meds over 12 years ago. I'm sure my story is similar to many of yours: go to the family doc depressed, get a scrip for an antidepressant, get worse, get sent to a psychiatrist, get put on more meds, get worse, go inpatient.... It goes on and on. I have been hospitalized 5 times in the past 12 years and at my worst I was taking 6 meds daily (14 pills). I have been on 24 different meds and nothing has worked. For the past year my pdoc has been pushing ECT. I am diagnosed Bipolar II, GAD, and OCD. About a year ago I started reading on the internet about iatrogenisis on mental patients and decided with the help of my pdoc to start whittling down some of these meds. It has taken all that time but I am now down to two meds, both low dose (geodon and Luvox) and I am tapering both of those now. Geodon will be last to go because it has been the only one that has had a positive effect, it will be hard to quit I think. It has been tough but I am feeling better, more stable than in years and I've even lost a bunch of weight that the meds put on. I happily stumbled across this site today and hope to get and give help to others who are in a similar situation.
  22. Hello all, I am new here and just trying to see what could happen to me. I lost my mother several days ago and while with her in Florida, I ran out of my Escitalopram. Before I left town, I was waiting for my prescriptions and this one didn't show up. I go through express scripts because I am tricare and have no other choice. So.... the Escitalopram didn't arrive. I called the doctors office, the line is always busy or you leave a message. Well, no return calls and I had to head to Florida. I have been out since July 27th, contacted my doctor (haven't heard a thing yet) and so.... what can I expect? I don't even want to take this anymore. What signs should I be looking for? I am surely going to be down due to the loss of my mother, but I went off these before and went back on about a year later due to an unforseen incident. I don't feel like I'm coming out of my skin or over tired, just kinda normal, actually. Just thought I would throw this out there. Has anyone else just "stopped" this stuff? Thank you.
  23. 2 AM here and for me to risk losing another sleeping night, it says of how much dire my life has become. My real name is Vitor, 23 Y/O, Male and middle-class Brazilian. Ever since the age of 17 I've been suffering from undying stress due to a troublesome relationship, ever since I've contemplated the voyage of the magical healing that psychiatric meds would proportionate, people say with age comes regret for what should have been, mine has arrived with no preemptive sign. Since 2013 I've started my first psychiatric treatment, 10mg of Escitalopram (Exodus, a medication that - so far - is only available national-wide), my mood went from downhill to upwards jolly, my med also diagnosed what could have been ADHD and suggested me to start a parallel treatment with Ritalin LA 20mg (which later was increased to 30mg and much later reduced to 10mg). Past almost a year into the beginning of the treatment, and my doctor saw no use for me to carry on with SSRIs, instructing then to stop aburptly, so far I've exited the road symptomless, or with ones that I couldn't notice at such time, since my troublesome affective relationship went from bad to worst every single day. 2014's dawn and i've lost touch with my girlfriend, the shock basically made me rush into my old med once again, had a terrible reaction that - if not by my current state - would have been the worst time of my life. The experience already made me wary of the dangers underlying such meds. Worst would come when my Health Insurance retracted my membership, on the basis that my monthly automatic payments were not being made due to an error, with no prior warning from any part. Universal Healthcare here is a mess, and when trying to make an appointment, on 2014, I'm still yet to hear any previews from any part. I was basically lost at that point. Forced into Cold Turkey from both meds, which would have been bad, have I not associated with the recent loss of my girlfriend. I can't remember that much about the symptoms. 2015 I've found another psychiatrist who basically reinstated me into both meds, but things started to spiral down from here, on July I've lost my job and had to head out to my parents, with the second "withdrawal" I started to be wary of the first underlying condition: Brain Fogs. I've basically grown and lived in my own imagination, for the first time in my life, trying to visualize thoughts was an out of reach task, something I did naturally taken away from me. I basically gave up on writing and drawing for some time. And after it, symptom after symptom came after me, the bad sinus, the erratic emotional swings, hyperarousal, hyperthermia, akethesia. All except for the Brain Zaps. The constance of intake and withdrawals basically spinned my head, and I can't say whether or not I'm into a dead end. I tried reintroducing Escitalopram probably 2 more times (both 7,5 mg), but the sleepiness was so crippling that I've basically gave up trying. 2016 and here I am, symptoms I've never had any notice until now, my mind totally blank, impossible to sleep with the burning skin and lightheadedness. I don't feel fatigue that much, but I'm panicking almost all of the time. Coming here was a struggle, admiting that I'm sick was a blow to my morale and self-steem, and trying to tell yourself you're fine is the worst. My ability to feel joy have been dulled, but I think I'm slowly turning back to enjoy games, the hardest blow is the brain fog and cognitive impairment, not being able to contextualize and love being imaginative. I've read so many terrifying stories, but at the same time, I think embracing the first community that would accept my phase is absolutely necessary. My family is clueless of my symptoms, so were and are most of my friends, which I've lost so many. I'll definitely miss my 20's, if I ever remember them. Sorry for such sloppy and grieving carthasis, and thank you to anyone who took your time reading.
  24. Hi everyone, first post on here so will try not to jabber too much. I'm a 40 year old guy and have been on ADs twice in my life. I first took SSRIs when I was prescribed 20mg Fluoxetine for work-related depression around 15 years back. For about a year they seemed to work (in some way I relied on them after I got through the depressive phase) but gradually I felt more and more 'robotic', agitated and detached. And my sex drive went down the pan...lost all interest. In fact, lost all interest in everything. All felt grey. So, after two years on them, stupid me went cold turkey, expecting to return to normality fairly quickly. But it was not so. The disinterest got much worse. I stayed with the CT and it took a good 2yrs for 'me' to come back...though the libido never really did but in 2010 seemed to be showing signs of life again... ...UNTIL I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic and was put on 10mg Citalopram back in October 2011. I was told I'd need to stay on the meds as I'd been on them before. I wasn't depressed at the time but blindly went along with the doc as the allergic reaction had shaken me up pretty bad. Initially, I felt mildly euphoric and life felt easy, I felt coolly un-anxious. But I couldn't ejaculate during sex, no matter what. And it got worse, to the point where I felt totally sexless, my desire just vanished in the worst way possible. And I started having crazy moodswings. So the doc switched me to Fluoxetine 20mg, after about a year on the Cit. No change. Dead libido, moodswings got even worse, pacing and inexplicable bursts of anger...so guess what? Cold turkeyed them again. Late 2013, about 4 weeks of big WDs, constant brain zaps and 'delayed vision', followed by huge bouts of anhedonia/apathy that still persist. And THE worst PSSD. No arousal, thrill, just this deadness in the pleasure centres of the brain. I can still love and see attractiveness but that 'engine' is...gone? It's horrendous, feel like half a man, like I'm out in the cold looking in all the time. Had tests, all showed fine but in a really good relationship right now that I fear is gonna suffer down the line. It'd kill me because we're so close and loving but I'm...inconsequential. 8 months and we just don't do it. Don't wanna lose her, we're truly soulmates. Want that connection back. That 'spark' in the brain...not there. For anyone or anything. Hurts so bad. I...just feel unsexual and I can't get my head around it. Nightmare. Am I totally messed up now, any hope, anything I can do? Tried ED drugs, various herbs, "He's dead, Jim". What a pickle.
  25. Hi guys, Like the title says, I have been on (for the most part) Zoloft & its generic equivalents for nearly 14 years now. Background: I had a reasonaby happy early childhood, but adolescence was a bit of a nightmare. Four years of full-on, awful bullying combined with an unhappy, abusive parent at home, and an eating disorder, seems to have left some sort of etch in my brain. I feel quite foolish about the fact that I can still tear up when thinking about that period in my life. It was 20 years ago! Crazy. Anyway, after those years life got better, but not brilliant. Somehow, I managed to carry on with no therapy, and very little understanding of how to take care of my mental health. I feel like things have really changed in the last 20 years - or perhaps I am more receptive to the concept of investing time & energy into my wellbeing and taking it seriously. A friend told me about Zoloft during a period that I was very down and had taken some personal leave from work. I went to my doctor and asked him about the medication. I was given a script for 50mg and after a couple of months that was increased to 100mg. Shortly after I started the higher dose of Zoloft, I read a book - the name escapes me - about SSRIs and how they are likely to cause extra-pyramidal symptoms such as you would see in the use of the older style of antipsychotic. So, stiff-walking, uncontrollable tics, tongue flicking out - lovely stuff like that. I was terrified. Because in fact, the medication did cause me to experience tics, although they seem to have eased off over the years. Sometimes I would lie in bed and feel a circle of tics going from one eye, to the other eye, to my shoulder, leg, other leg, and so on. I quit cold turkey not longer after, my first of many attempts. I had in fact been told about rebound depression, but astonishingly, each and every time it happened, I did not make the connection between the sudden, weeping/anxiety/agoraphobia and quitting cold turkey! My lack of awareness was just - wow. I really don't know what to say about it. I found a Youtube video about getting off SSRIs - https://youtu.be/vCTDw_cRWt4. The girl in the video directs people to this forum (in her replies, not in the video itself) which is how I started reading about tapering. I have come to terms w/ the fact that antidepressants are a powerful medication and we have take their effect seriously. I guess the brain takes a while to adapt to having a large amount of circulating seratonin, and if we stop the medication suddenly, thus dropping off the levels of seratonin, the brain will go through a period where it is physically adapted to the higher level but only operating on the lower level. So, depression follows. I realise also that I have been on antidepressants for a long time! It's amazing how long it has been. So, just started the first taper - 90mg. Will update as I go ... I am hoping to be a success story to inspire others one of these days