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Hi all. I’m thankful I came across this group. Wow - where to begin... well, at age 7 I was given Paxil and 20 years later I am still on it. Throughout the 20 years I have tried ever SSRI and SNRI on the planet. I was given Valium and after five years by the grace of God somehow tapered off it myself. In the past 2 years I was put on effexor, pristiq, viibryd, lexapro, celexa, prozac, and landed back on 20mg Paxil. Four months ago I lowered by dosage to 15mg and it has been pure hell. Suicidal thoughts which I have never had, super strange thoughts, terror like I cannot explain. Reading your success stories on here gives me hope. How long should I hold at 15mg before continuing to do a 5-10% taper? How did you all manage to work during this time? With being put on these drugs at such a young age — is it possible to heal, or am I permanently damaged? How do you let go of your anger regarding this situation. I didn’t choose to take these meds. Much love, Sunflower414

Hello everyone, My name is Franck and I am French. I started Deroxat 20 MG in 01/2008 for anxiety disorders...Since then I have never been able to get rid of it despite several reduction attempts, admittedly too rapid, by my doctor. 2023 has been a dramatic year for me and I'm heading into 2024 with a new antidepressant. I have many side effects: memory loss, intense fatigue, irritability, insomnia... I stopped deroxat 20mg in 08/2008 as planned by my doctor, reducing it in less than a month... in 01/2009 I fell into severe depression and lost 25 kg before the doctor didn't realize I had Crohn's disease. I took deroxat again in 07/2009 but still with a lot of fatigue, 0 emotions, 0 libido, irritability, non-restorative sleep... We tried again to stop deroxat 20MG in 03/2014 while reducing the dose by 1/4 every 15 days... in 05/2014 it's hell.... My last stop took place on 11/2022 when I suddenly stopped taking deroxat in the middle of Covid, a month and a half with very good windows and some side effects... Mid-January 2023, impossible to get out of bed, feed myself, wash myself... my doctor decided to reintroduce 10 mg until March 2023... without effect... he then changed to Effexor 75MG then 150 MG...it got me out of bed but the sensations aren't great... In November 2023, effexor no longer works... I sleep 20 hours a day, I no longer eat, I no longer drink, a real zombie... they change my treatment and put me on Prozac 20MG in the morning and Diazepam 30MG in three doses. Today I am very slowly stopping the diazepam. 2 mg in the morning and 10 mg in the evening remain manageable. What do you advise me based on my experience, I would like to try magnesium and reduce this Prozac when the time comes but with a real withdrawal protocol... Thank you in advance for your answers and support.

Hello All, I have been on and off this community for almost a couple of years now and finally when the registrations opened I thought I will join to make my journey more systematic. Originally diagnosed with GAD when I was 18 years old and been through a cocktail of drugs (complete timeline at the end). Over the years, the diagnosis has morphed into GAD, OCD and Depression. The last drug I was prescribed is as follows Clomipramine 75mg Lithium 800 mg I have been using this for about 2 years now, and in the last 6 months or so I have observed that I have almost unlimited energy, talk a bit too much and struggle with sleep. Specifically I have Nocturnal panic attacks, which keep waking me up and eventually I get tired of the chest tightness, walks, excessive eating at night and finally fall asleep around 3AM. My Psydoc, asked me to lower Clomipramine to 50mg. This is approx 6 months ago, I did accordingly and symptoms of OCD (intrusive images), lack of energy, crying spells etc came with full force. Hence I restored the dosage back waited 6 weeks to stabilize and commenced on a slow taper approx 10/11/2023. A bit more on the insomnia, I don't have trouble falling asleep, its just that I wake up with panic attack, some time restless leg syndrome. I frequently get more than 4 or 5 panic attacks per night. I have been prescribed Valium 5 mg, which I have been taking for over 8 months now. When I have good spell, I take half (2.5mg) so in total I would have been 60% time taking 5mg each day, and 40% time taking 2.5mg. I am fully aware of benzo dependence and try my best to lower it the best I could but currently I don't want to disturb too many things in one go. Back to my primary medication, My first taper step was 12.5mg (I know it is a big jump, but since I had benzo support I thought atleast I will take this first step higher than 10%) right now I am at 62.5 mg Clompiramine. approximately 6 weeks into it. Anxiety is on the rise but manageable currently. There are good and bad days but overall I am managing to do my tasks. Hypo mania / excited state has definitely gone away and I do have some lethargy and lack of motivation at times. Psydocs wasnt keen on slow taper but I put my foot down that that's how I am going to do it, he is supportive reasonably although he may not believe my approach. I do get second thoughts if I am doing the right thing or shall I listen to my psydoc and add another medication to the mix to manage. So far I have resisted and am coping. I intend to stay at this dose for atleast a few more months before taking another cut (definitely within 10% this time). Valium I will continue till I have stability on clomipramine 50mg. Then will decide how to proceed from that point. Long way to go, wish me luck. 2001 - Generalized anxiety disorder (derealization) - Lexapro 10 mg 2008 - Lexapro 20 mg (increased due to post baby blues) 2010 - Lexapro 30 mg 2016 - Lexapro 40 mg 2019-2020 - Lexapro stopped working, rapid tapers and switching to Fluexotine, Effexor, Remeron etc caused severe depression 2020 - Tried TMS but no avail. Suicidal ideation. Ended up in ER 2021 - ECT sessions to treat Major depressive episodes, discharged from hospital with Effexor 225mg but it wasnt managing the situation 2021- God send Psydoc, identified OCD as a contributory cause, put me on clomipramine 75 mg and Lithium 1500 mg 2021 - 2022: Dosage stabilization at Clomipramine 75mg and Lithium 800 mg, overall high energy state with brief almost hypo mania episodes here and there. 2022-23: Insominia kicked in due to nocturnal panic attacks Nov- 2023: Clomipramine taper started 62.5mg

Hello ; Excuse my English. It's not my first language. I am new to this forum and need your help to stabilize my dose of diazepam before starting the withdrawal process. Indeed, I was on a benzo in tablets called Lysanxia (long half-life) and I recently asked my doctor to prescribe me diazepam (in drops, it is more practical to use). I used an equivalence chart and today I end up with 23 drops of diazepam in the morning and 14 in the evening. I didn't do any progressive crossovers. The doctor decided that it was not necessary. It's been 4 days since I made the switch but I have new symptoms (tachycardia all day, shortness of breath, nausea and anxiety). I specify that I was not really stable with the old molecule (Lysanxia-Prazepam) before making the switch to diazepam. I'm afraid I'm diazepam intolerant because it's the only option I have to do a slow and gradual withdrawal. Could someone please help me stabilize my dose? THANKS.

I can relate to so much that has been written here about antidepressants. I developed tardive dysphoria after being on them for 25 years. I am now virtually off antidepressants but still suffer terribly because of the tardive dysphoria. I feel suicidally depressed, anxious,worried and restless every day. I struggle to get out of bed and to get washed and dressed. Everything seems like an impossible task. I have been like this for over 2 years and despair that I will feel better. It took me about 18 months to taper off Sertraline. Does anyone else have experience with tardive dysphoria? Will I ever recover?

Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.

Hi all, I have come to this website fairly late (I hope) in my journey with psych meds. I no longer take anything, but 9 weeks from my last dose of Fluoxetine I am still suffering bad waves/windows. Until May of this year, I was still suffering badly with waves/windows from Diazepam withdrawal, which began properly in June 2022. I have been off work pretty much since then. Things got a good bit better between May and August, more like a higher baseline of anxiety/vulnerability to stress, rather than the waves/windows pattern. During this time, I was doing Neurofeedback and the ketogenic diet (thanks to Dr Chris Palmer's excellent book). I was able to do a speech at a family gathering, which feels unthinkable now. In June, I started tapering from Fluoxetine, 20mg (my history with which you can see in my signature), using the liquid solution, reducing by 2mg every 3 weeks. I now realise that was too fast. In mid-August I started getting waves again. I had not done nearly as much reading into SSRI withdrawals as I had with benzos, so I assumed it was the Diazepam waves coming back (which Ashton says can happen), but then at the end of August I got one of my worst waves ever for about 4 days: suicidal depression, 0hr sleep (even during worst of benzo withdrawal I could get 2-3 hours a night), tremors, agitation. At the time, I believed that was because I was given a different brand of the liquid solution - I thought maybe more of the active ingredient was getting into my system somehow, causing serotonin syndrome (because of the tremors). But now having read about the dangers of linear tapering I am guessing that it was withdrawal from Fluoxetine, and my cliff edge was around 10mg, made worse as I was/am not yet fully recovered from the Diazepam withdrawal. However, at that stage I decided to just to jump from 10mg, partly influenced by doctors who said that would be fine. I have now read about the need to do hyperbolic tapering, but I am where I am - 9 weeks off and I do not really wish to reinstate. I am having waves/windows every 3 days, which is very different from Diazepam - that was more like 3 week waves, 1 week windows - but they do seem to be just as severe, particularly the depression. I realise that I am perhaps lucky that I was on Fluoxetine rather than another SSRI (I am well over a year out from stopping Mirtazapine, so I don't think that is likely to be playing a role still). I am interested to hear any indications/opinions from folks on here as to how long it may be before the waves disappear and I return to my previous level of function. I am encouraged by the fact that although they are regular/severe, the waves do seem to have identifiable triggers rather than totally random. This is embarrassing, but I have found that one definite trigger is orgasm/ejaculation. In that process, there is a huge release of dopamine, followed by a decrease but also an increase of a hormone called prolactin which at a high enough level can cause psychosis. I am thinking my dopamine levels/receptors are just too low, because dopamine restrains prolactin production. You may ask, why not abstain? But another clear symptom of my withdrawal is uncontrollable nocturnal emissions, which I didn't even have in my teenage years - roughly once a week, followed by a 3-day wave. I did not have obvious sexual dysfunction while on Fluoxetine, but I am thinking that this symptom is some kind of rebound hypersexuality. Finally, the other clear triggers for symptoms are sweet foods and stress. Thanks for reading - I wish you all continued, and quick, healing.

So the last scales i got were off amazon and i paid roughly 20-25£. But when i wanted to measure put 10 percent off a 10mg diazepam it just did not work well at all. The scales needed to be way more sensitive as i would take a big chunk away off the tablet that i had crushed up and the scale number would not move. So long story cut short does anyone have suggestions for the most accurate scales?

Moved back to Arizona in November 2023 and none of the corporate doctors will give me a prescription for tramadol. I have fibromyalgia probably arising from Ehlers Danlos, IBS, Raynaud's, Sjögren's, osteopenia, and inflammatory arthritis in my feet. I can do the taper but then I have no pain management at all. Does anyone here know anything about low dose naltrexone for pain and inflammation? I want to start the naltrexone titration before I am completely off the tramadol in the hopes of having some pain control.

I have had an adverse reaction to trazadone and Buspar while I was withdrawing from diazpam and it ended up with adverse reaction and neurotoxicity I've had a test that shows the neurons death/ loss. If there's anyone here with severe brain damage that's left disabled you can try to contact me.

Moderator note: link to members-only benzo thread - Savinggrace: missed dose Hello, I have been following Surviving Antidepressants, off and on, for a few years but feel I must join now, as I could use some feedback. I have been poly-drugged for 15 years and on anti-depressants for 35 years. I am not sure how much I should write about how/why all this happened, but surely in the first decades, I just let it happen because I trusted my doctors and had no idea what I was setting myself up for. Since the internet made information so much easier to get, I have spent a lot of time learning about what these drugs have done to my brain, my body and and my life. I am joining this forum for two reasons...I am a person who has to taper extremely slowly. In fact, I just read a post of a man (2012) who planned to take 12 years to taper 25 mg. valium and I thought, "well, that sounds about right for me." On other forums, I have been almost laughed at when I admit how slow I have been, and must continue to taper. The other reason I like this forum is that it addresses the poly-drugging situation that so many of us have gotten ourselves into. This poly-drugging, in my opinion, has made everything so much more difficult. I guess there is a third reason, and that is that I have followed Rhiannon on BenzoBuddies and before that on a Yahoo group for years. She seems so rational, calm, and non-judgmental about all this. I have read many posts about not tapering from a place of feeling w/d symptoms. What if I said I have been in tolerance w/d (if that term is used here) for at least 14 years? I have not felt well, and in fact, have been quite sick all that time. About 6-7 years ago I got the courage, after tons of reading to start tapering. After making a 1 mg. cut (less than 10%) of valium, and suffering a near-seizure on the 5th day (that's what my doctor told me was happening and I believe him because 1 mg. valium relieved everything), I started tapering .5 mg/ month. (my signature will explain what happened before that) I did that for a few a year or so, but "hit the wall" so to speak, and tried .25 cuts (cut and suffer method). Very long story as short as possible, I only went from 17mg. down to 13 mg. before I was not able to cut any more and remain even remotely functional. A year or so ago, I decided if I couldn't cut valium, I would try another of my drugs. I have managed to taper 25% with small cuts and holds over a year, but again feel totally dysfunctional and unable to proceed. I think, at this point, up-dosing any of my drugs would require too big of an up-dose, and likely an unsuccessful one at that. I am holding now, but the reality is, I have many co-exisitng medical conditions, some caused by these drugs I suspect, and some not, that I really can't treat w/ meds as they interact with my psych meds and de-stabilize me immediately. I suffer a lot. I have no quality of life. I am 61. I can't go back; only forward. I am currently holding my trileptal cut to give my brain a rest. There is a lot more to share about myself but this was way too long already. How long should I hold? I feel like it will take quite some time before I feel like my brain has adjusted to this 25% cut. (done in 5-10 mg. increments, holding about a month w/ each cut) Here is my signature because I am not sure where to post it: Amitriptyline for 20 years and then remeron, 4 mg currently , ambien 10-15 mg. for 5 years and then updosed klonopin to get off ambien in 2011; klonopin 2 mg. for 10 years and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg in 2010. 300 mg. trileptal for 13 years; tapered down to 225 in the last year. Holding on everything right now.

I'm start to taper klonopin becouse I feel that klonopin is making me the most problems,in fact I suposted to be tapering luvox first but klonopin is asking me more and more to feel some sort of normal so i decated to taper it first,I'm also on diazepam so I hope that I am on the right plce to have some answers becouse Here it is some sort of diferent that on benzobuddies becouse you say to taper ssri first but becouse I am on two benzos maybe it is the right way to taper one benzo then luvox,tnx and be well

It is 21 months since I ceased lexapro after 29 years use following post partum depression and am currently tapering off Diazepam and Temazepam. I was starting to see some windows some 14 months after the cessation of lexapro but strangely and distressingly after 17 months went backwards with virtually no windows and numerous symptoms since including symptoms of Akathisia. I am seeing a superb psychiatrist via zoom in Brisbane who I can recommend if required who considers my situation as protracted withdrawal however I have also recently seen psychiatrists at the 1 centre in Melbourne recently who disbelieve this diagnosis and consider it agitated depression considering my worsening situation after 17 months off lexapro and are recommending commencing an anti-depressant. From all my investigations, I believe my situation is withdrawal (from lexapro and/or the benzo's) as I have many of the reported symptoms (I have tapered down to 1.25 mg and 10 mgs temazepam daily currently for 7 months now). I am starting to question the diagnosis of withdrawal now and would like a 2nd opinion from a non-pharma obsessed psychiatrist before I consider an anti-depressant. Can anyone recommend one ideally in Melbourne, Australia or otherwise anywhere in Australia? Many thanks

Firstly, thankyou for allowing me to join this group. I have come here seeking answers (hopefully). This is not about myself but a close relative. They have been suffering from anxiety & feeling low for the past year. 3 months ago things were getting worse so her Doctor put her on Zoloft (not sure of dose). After about 3 weeks she was feeling worse but her doctor told her to stick with it. At the 8 week mark she was very distraught & her Dr told her to wean off it. I believe it was 1/2 then 1/4 over a month. Approx 10 days later she tried to commit suicide. Thankfully she survived. She now has extreme anxiety to the point of shaking & saying the same negative sentences over & over & over. She is now on a cocktail of Mirtazapine, Diazepam & Olanzapine. 3 weeks later & no improvement, in fact getting worse. How does someone go from being anxious & depressed to an absolute non functioning mess overnight...I wouldn't have thought that weaning off zoloft after 8 weeks would cause this disaster. I know this isn't about tapering off antidepressants but I was wondering if this has happened to anyone else. Thankyou in advance for any insight...

I am NZ based where there is no knowledge or want of knowledge on this subject. I tapered slowly Paxil in 2017 and in 2021 after 3mnths of being off it, I began to get more agitated, angry and other symptoms so it was decided I go back on, a familiar story I believe. This time however I was put on Lex, starting a 5mg, symptoms needing the occasional diaz. Then the dose of Lex went to a 10mg, where start up became worse and the diaz increased. Another 10mg increase to 20mg, by now it had been 3mnths plus and by this stage had climber to ‘as prescribed’ diaz of 19mg. All of a sudden the drs decided I need to taper the diaz, and sticking with the 20mg Lex and have been slowly tapering ever since and now down to 6mg diaz having had 7mnths off last year while coming off Tegretol for mouth pain, informally diagnosed over the phone for Trigeminal Neuralgia. I’ve only ever used Paxil in the past and never had issues with the start up to this extent. Now I dont know if what Im going through is a reaction to the Lex or the withdrawal from the diaz. Any help I would be grateful. My symptoms are anhedonia, intrusive thoughts, ocd, agoraphobia, social phobia, mono phobia depression- any wonder - to name a few

Hi! I just started to taper and I am in my second week of reducing from 20mg escitalopram. I already cut off 10%. What I find confusing: 1. Does it matter if I just take on ONE randomly chosen day 10% less (which I did already) or do I have to distribute the 10% cut throughout the 2 weeks? I can't see how the latter would be possible, given the infinitesimal amount that needs to be reduced this way, but I thought I will ask anyway :)> 2. Whilst I am aware of the huge variability in individual histories, I wonder if anyone here has been experiencing gradual tapering (as advised per medication here) and had withdrawal effects that were bearable and short-lived? In other words, if one does it right, generally speaking, and assuming that one is only on one antidepressant and all other variables are more or less constant, does it help avoid the worse of withdrawal effects? This is something that I am confused about. It is important for me, if any data, anecdotal or scientific exists in regard to this matter. Where can I look for this kind of information? Many thanks.

Hello everybody, I am new on this forum. Hopefully I filled all pieces of information into my signature so you can read it. I would like to ask you for help, what to do in my situation. I had to reinstate 50mg Amitriptyline (I tapered too fast to 19mg within 3 months - February - May2018). I had to be hospitalized (June 2018) because I lost a lot of weight and was really weak. They added another medication, so I have been using today: - 50mg of Amitriptyline - 50mg of Valdoxan for 8weeks - 10mg Olanzapine since 21st June, lowered to 7,5mg since July14th My question is, what would you do next with Olanzapine? I feel - a lot of inner vibrations - restlessness - fatique during first part of the day, till 2-3pm - constipation (and gut pains) Olanzapine helped with my anxiety, but unfortunatelly only during first 3 weeks, today I have anxiety back, every morning a lot of cortisol and adrenaline So I would like to quit Olanzapine, as I read horrible storries about withdrawing this drug after months or years of use. But I don´t know what to do? Quit it as soon as possible? Or do a slow taper within next weeks eventhough I was on it only for couple of weeks (in total 5weeks today)? What would be your recommendation? I apologize for my English, I am not a native speaker. Thank you

Hi everybody! I am Julz, a 33 year-old female - polydrugged to my eye-balls Ten years ago, I fell into anorexia and depression, soon unveiling terrible anxiety. I was referred to a psychiatrist (in France) who prescribed me medication and also gave me psychotherapy. Regarding the medication, different combinations and doses where tried and I eventually found myself on a prescription which seemed to suit my troubled mind (Escitalopram, venlafaxine, clonazepam and diazepam) - did it ever do anything? I still haven't got a clue. I trusted this doctor. This is my initial prescription: Escitalopram: 20mg 20mg 20mg - (yes, that is 60mg...!!!) Venlafaxine(MR): - - 75mg - Clonazepam: - 2mg - 2mg Diazepam: - - - 10mg Time passed and psychologically, a lot changed. I moved away from where I used to live, totally changed my environment, and went for a fresh start. But I was still taking my medication as prescribed. My General Practitioner (in charge of my prescription in my new environment) convinced me to lower the Escitalopram (on the grounds that it was "bad for my heart") and I managed, between 2011 and 2013, to come from 60mg/day to 15mg. How? By jumping 5mg at a time every now and again. I had no idea... again, I more or less trusted this doctor who was willing to prescribe me the drugs I was clearly physically dependent on. The withdrawals I experienced were uneventful. I did feel something was happening but within a few days, I always felt the same as before the drop. Between 2010 and 2014, a LOT had changed as I finally got an MSc BUT I had fallen into terrible exhaustion and had no life. How did I get my degree? A struggle every day. I then began to question this cocktail of drugs, I'd been on them for 10 years and was still taking them as prescribed because I was physically dependent. That was clear enough! It then hit me: my meds were probably incapacitating me rather than providing any help! The realisation came as in January 2013, after I managed to lower my Escitalopram intake from 20 to 15mg/day in a single 5mg step (...), I began to feel even more tired during the day, exhausted - I simply had to nap every single day. After some personal research, I went to my GP and told him I didn't believe in keeping our focus on the Escitalopram because it seemed that the more I decreased it, the more sleepy I'd get during the day, considering my benzo intake (at that point, I was taking 3 hours' naps), and I could not live like that! Fortunately, before I was able to drop a pill here and there as instructed by my GP, I found the BenzoBuddy website and managed to find a taper method to gradually come off clonazepam. From December 2014 to July 2015, I came from 4mg to 2mg and am now below 1.9mg and still tapering off successfully. I decided to join Surviving Antidepressants as I want off ALL any medication which alters who I am. I believe in other ways to manage my weaknesses - I am not ill, I have a tendency to be anxious and this is not new, I was an anxious child but I had emotions too. I'd like my emotions and my whole life back... I realise I know NOTHING about anti-depressants, I surely did not know about Escitalopram's potency and am still in shock from the news. My initial plans (supported by a psychiatrist I saw in February 2015) were to come off clonazepam (bz), then diazepam (bz), then Escitalopram, then Venlafaxine. In the light of what I read on this wonderful site, I wonder whether I should stay of Valium (diazepam) while at least tapering off Escitalopram, when I am done with clonazepam... I realise I need knowledge myself because sadly, doctors haven't been helpful at all... so far... Thanks for welcoming me on your wonderful Forum! Julz xxx

I was diagnosed with depression in 2002 and given amiram 20 I took it for one year then I stopped I returned to it in 2007 without any relief I until I diagnosed with bipolar2 in 2015 it helps and I get hypomania in 2020 and stopped all my medications rather quickly which were lithium 1000 mg sereqol 300mg and larogenr400mg and Prozac 40 mg I get akatisia after two month and I returned to psych who reinstate sereqol and raised it up to 400mg and Prozac 40 and larogene 100mg this was three weeks ago I still depressed but akatisia is gone I want to start a new taper is that possible

Hi. So, I had been having some health anxiety over 2021. It resulted in me getting a colonoscopy in November 2021. Leading up to it I had intense anxiety, a few panic attacks and perhaps even a nervous breakdown. The night before I woke at 3 am and had a panic attack. I really thought I was dying this time, so we called 911, and I luckily, not dying. During the procedure they did take a biopsy, and while waiting for the results (2weeks) I had very intense anxiety. It was benign. I'd had intense panic and anxiety for almost a whole month at this point. Around Dec 17, 2021 I contracted covid. It was pretty uneventful, but near the end of it I was waking around 5 am with adrenaline and diarrhea and I couldn't go back to sleep, this was creating anxiety in me that was getting harder and harder to control. So I went to a Dr on December 30 2021 who prescribed me Zoloft 50mg and Xanax 0.25mg. They were filled pretty fast and I took one of each as soon as I got home (around 1-2pm) I felt ok at first, but a few hours later all the side effects started. Irritable/uncomfortable, anxiety, nauseous, no appetite, chills, diarrhea, invasive thoughts that started pretty quick and intensely, and soon to find out - insomnia. I'd lay there with invasive thoughts and if I happened to drift off I'd be jerked awake and there was no sleeping for at least a week. I lived in a panic for around 2 weeks. I never took another dose of Zoloft. But I did take around 9 doses (some halved) of Xanax over the next 2-3 months. Sometimes to help sleep, but it was never worth it as I'd only get a 2-3 hours and then have intense anxiety the next day. It worked ok for panic during the day, but then I feel it intensified my anxiety for the next few days. I found some old Valium 5mg from a dental procedure, there were only 2 doses. They helped sleep some, but they left me feeling so sluggish, it didn't feel good. And it wasn't helping me sleep enough to want to try to get more, I was prescribed Restoril 15mg in April by a sleep Dr. I only took half doses 3 times. Again, it didn't help my sleep enough to ever make it worth it and just gave me bad rebound anxiety. Then I was prescribed hydroxyzine May 2021 (forgot about that when I wrote my signature, will add later). I've taken it around 5 times. It helped me sleep the first night, then not so much the next. Waited a week and tried again, it helped a little for sleep and calming, but not that much. It was mostly disappointing. Luckily it didn't seem to cause any rebound anxiety. But it doesn't help with much so I really don't take it. So, I did take my last Xanax around 1 month ago for a bad panic attack. And that was last time I took a benzo. My last hydroxyzine was around 1 week ago. My current symptoms are anxiety, depression, anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization (I'm never sure on the terms, it's the one where I feel like I'm in a dream, I can react to everyone normally and everything seems normal, but I just feel ... off, like I'm not connected to it all). Agoraphobia, I can push past it but it's hard and only if it's close to home or my husband and children are with me. Which really sucks because I used to love going out by myself or with my children, go on vacations etc... now I feel like I can't leave the house without forcing myself. This fear feeling is so horrible and there really is no reason, I just feel it. And intense insomnia, I can't fall asleep, can't nap, I get adrenaline rushes continuously as I'm trying to fall asleep, or less common are the hypnic jerks, and I wake early around 3-6am and can't fall back to sleep even if I've only slept for 1-2 hours. I like to think my sleep is getting better, as there some rare nights when I will get 5-7 hours. But those are followed the next night by not being able to fall asleep because of adrenaline surges. So, I'm probably only getting those nights from severe sleep deprivation, not that I'm actually getting better =( At one point I thought it was just anxiety keeping awake, but there have been plenty of nights I go to sleep with NO worries at all. I'm not over thinking or thinking of anything provoking and I still get the adrenaline surges at the point of falling asleep. It's seriously so maddening. It's going into 6 months since that day and my sleep is still not good. I thought it would last a few days, then weeks, then got my hopes for a few months. Now it's going into half a year. It started with panic and anxiety, but now depression is setting in and I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my hopes up, but it's so hard. I also have anhedonia and agoraphobia although I can push past it as long as it's close to home, but it takes a lot of effort. I do get some windows I stay home with my 3 small children and am not able to be the mother I want to be for them by feeling this way. Which again adds to the depression. So that's where I am. I hate that I took that zoloft and xanax. And for a long time now i was just blaming the zoloft. And now I've been wondering if the benzos have been negatively affecting me as well? I know I can't beat myself up over it. I try and accept my situation and believe that I will heal. But it's so hard and it all feels so dark sometimes.

Hi folks, please find an introduction to my psychiatric history. I desperately need of any support or advice. I started anti-depressant in 1994. This was changed to Prozac 1996, followed by Venaflaxine in 1999. My prayers were seemingly answered in 2000, when I was changed to Sertraline in 2000. Doze was quickly increased to 150mg two months in. I stayed on same drug and doze for 23 years! In 2022, I suffered mental health crisis due to overwork. I was quickly informed that Sertraline was no longer working but couldn't go off it due to duration of treatment. My then psych added Quitiapine as adjunct and Pregabalin. In Feb, my new psych decided to change Sertraline to Duloxatine. She tapered over 5 days! On 6th day I broke down and was put back on Sertraline. Three months ago I was taken off Sertraline again, cross-tapered with Duloxetine over three weeks. One week in started with unbelievable intense symptoms - anxiety attacks, problems with motor-skills and walking gait, freezing cold and diarrhoea. Psych then stopped Duloxetine after 6 weeks as psych doesn't think it was working. One week taper and then put on Escotalipram. By now I was bed bound and on Diazepam 7mg daily. Couldn't tolerate Escotalipram so taken off after two weeks. No taper, started Agnomelatine. Three days in. Couldn't stop being sick and quit. Constantly now have terrible side affects anxiety attacks, stomach pains, sweats, constantly feeling cold. Psych states nothing to do with withdrawal and wants me to go back on sertraline. Lost all hope now. Know this is the withdrawal effects but no professional. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would massively appreciate it.

Hi all, I am new to this wonderful community. I have to say that it is an amazing place with so many interesting information! Thanks for making this possible! I read already a bit of things that are interesting to my personal situation. I am 41, from Belgium, and taking 3 different medications, all of them are psycho narcotics. I would like to get rid of them. I have adapted a new lifestyle the last couple of years and have been working on that and on myself and I hope that I am strong enough to taper the 3 medications that I am taking. Now my question. I am taking 30 mg Mirtazapine, 150 mg Effexor XR and I just came down from 60 mg Diazepam to 7 mg. Now 14 days on this 7 mg and somehow intuitively I felt that I need to stop withdrawing with the benzo's now and start tapering with the Effexor XR. And keep the benzo's stable for a while. The benzo tapering has been going well till the last couple of steps and the step from 8 to 7 mg now hit me pretty hard. I have to slow this tapering down and make smaller steps, but before doing that I would love to taper off Effexor XR first, at least to 75 mg ? I think the Effexor XR somehow neutralises my emotions big time and as well makes me very active. I do not sleep much, and still I am so active and never tired. I think that is caused by the Effexor XR. I would like to know advice on that ? Is that the good way to go ? I think it is. But here another question : would it be wise to wait tapering Effexor till I feel more stable after having tapered the Diazepam now. And maybe keep all my medication stable for another 2 weeks before I start tapering Effexor XR? I have had made by the pharmacy 145 mg and 140 mg Effexor, each 30 gelules. I can't make a mistake by starting now 140 mg and do it for a month ? Or better wait a few weeks till more stable ? Thanks for the advice on my last question and also about the further tapering strategy! Many regards, Nik

Rhi's Introduction topic I want to crow, or at least jabber excitedly, about the improvements I'm finally seeing in my health and mental/emotional wellbeing as a result of my taper. But I'm not "fully recovered from withdrawal" so I was hesitant to post in this area. Then I decided what the heck. Recovery doesn't have to be all or nothing. There are all kinds of success stories. I know people will be encouraged by what I have to say, as I am encouraged by others. So here it is. As you can see from my sig, I'm in the process of a very long taper off five meds, with a long time yet to go. But I am ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED at my improvement so far. Even though I'm still taking low doses of four psychiatric meds--I'm not sure I can find the words to describe how much better I'm doing and how happy I am at these lower doses, relative to how I was when I was taking those so-called "therapeutic" dosages. Neurontin completely savaged my ability to learn and remember things. Benzos and Lamictal are still making that something of a challenge, but the Neurontin was the worst. It also gave me the lack-of-impulse-control of a two-margarita drunk, and you can imagine what that did for my personality and peoples' impressions of me. I did and said stuff even just two years ago that makes me shudder to think now and thank my lucky stars I didn't get in more trouble. After I got down below 100 mg, all of this settled down a lot, especially the cognitive stuff. When I finally came all the way off Neurontin back in April, after about three months of recovery I seemed to stabilize out fully. My point is, though, I got the lion's share of my improvement not when I quit completely, but during the taper itself. Now I'm experiencing something that just makes me want to shout from the rooftops: I've gotten my motivation and enthusiasm back! After 20 years on antidepressants, I had forgotten what it felt like to actually WANT to do stuff! I used to go along with stuff proposed by other people, and I enjoyed it to the extent that I could experience "enjoyment" (something ADs cripple in me), but I usually felt like I would just have soon have stayed home, and left to my own devices that's pretty much what I did. It was hard, because my poor kids wanted to get out there and experience life. Fortunately their dad and some of my friends used to take them places and give them some adventures. I just never really wanted to do much. Which was weird, because before Prozac and Xanax, you couldn't keep me at home. I was always wanting to go out and do things. I was also very social, loved being with other people, got along well with them. Then for 20 years I became the opposite--agoraphobic, uncomfortable and awkward with people, socially anxious. Well--I'm getting myself back! I'm still on 2.7 mg of Celexa, but the zombie effect is lifting. You have NO idea how great it feels, and I don't think words can do it justice. Over about the past six months I've noticed that I'm back to being comfortable in social environments--more than comfortable, I love being with people, and people seem to enjoy me too. It's so much fun being a social human being again! And for the first time in 20 years I want to do stuff! When I have a day off work, instead of hanging around the house, I want to get out and explore the world, get out and try something new, meet people, see things, do things, touch the world, feel alive, explore, have fun! It's GREAT. So I'm here to testify (can I get a witness?--okay, that's a southern US cultural reference, ignore it if you don't get it) that at least for me, it's been possible to get back a lot of myself, a lot of what I lost on the "meds", just by slowly and carefully lowering my doses and getting down to low doses. The lower the doses go, the better I feel. There's a lot of room between "all" and "nothing", and that's the room where slow tapers play out. It was my hope that by tapering extremely slowly like I have been, all the meds together like I have been, that this would happen, that I would gradually and safely emerge from the nightmare miasma of "non-me" that the drugs had trapped me in. And it's happening. After two and a half patient years of tapering, it's definitely happening. For the first time in 20 years, you can't keep me at home, and I delight in social interaction. Just like how I remember myself being before they put me on the drugs. I'm not even going to go into the kind of karma that people earn by stealing 20 years from someone's life just so they can make money. That's not what this is about, although I have to say I feel pretty PO'd about it. I just want to say that you may not have to wait until you get to the end of your taper to enjoy a lot of benefit. And that tapering faster so you can get all the way off faster--it might not be worth the price, since tapering slow enough that you can still maintain a life and good health may turn out to be worth it when you get to a lower dose and you're functioning well enough to actually ENJOY that life and that health. And I want to say that YES, it's worth it. You can get yourself back. I've heard it from others, I've seen others do it, and I'm experiencing it myself. Hang in there! it's worth it!

Okay, I am a newbie to posting online and have spent the last 2 months searching Google since this happened to me, so please bear with me if this seems a bit long. I just want to get my story out there so people can see what has happened to me and offer any possible advice. In October 2017, My GP put me on Lamictal for mood and 22.5mg Restoril for sleep. I have been on Restoril since 11/2016 roughly. At the time I had a diagnosis of BP2. My pdoc at the time 2 weeks later switched me from Lamictal to Lithium by tapering the Lamictal from 150 mg to 100mg then 50mg every three days, he felt it would be more effective. I went up to a dose of 1200mg of Lithium but it made me sick so we moved down to 900mg, which seemed to be effective. He added Latuda 40mg but it made me irritable, so he switched that to 5mg Abilify in 12/2017, no taper from the Latuda. That combo seemed to work for a while but then I felt emotionally blunted and numb, so my pdoc then lowered the dose to 2.5mg. I felt better so I then (stupidly) quit CT the Abilify in May of this year. At the same time he also tapered me off of Lithium which I was scheduled to stop taking on 6/27 due to constant diarrhea. He then prescribed me Klonopin for anxiety. I started feeling too high from it and was feeling depressed, so about a week and a half later was put on Lexapro. The Lexapro made me feel extremely sleepy and out of it, took from 6/18/28-6/21/18, stopped taking. Pdoc then switched me to Effexor XR 37.5mg on 6/22/18, felt extremely depressed and anxious, did not take Klonopin or Valium. I had little to not appetite and was not very talkative. 6/25-6/28/18 Felt much lest depressed, better than I had in the past month, taking Klonopin as needed for anxiety. Stopped the Effexor today and the Lithium. Started Paxil 10mg the same day. At this point still taking 22.5mg Restoril. I noticed since I started the Lexapro and stopped, I had been getting 3-4 hours sleep and started to feel thirsty. When I started Paxil on 6/29, it was at night and I woke up several times and had stomach cramps. Still had a stomach ache the next morning and felt depressed. Depression and brain fog got worse over next few days, the dose was increased to 20mg after 5 days. I would wake up with sweats in the middle of the night so on 7/4 at the advice of my pdoc covering on-call doc I stopped the Paxil because I became suicidal. At this point as of 7/8 all I was on was on Restoril for sleep. I noticed tinnitus and felt extremely anxious and regular stress almost gave me a panic attack. At this point I was having the following symptoms: Tinnitus, anxiety, depression, insomnia, feeling thirsty and dehydrated, heart palpitations, brain fog, stress intolerance. Restoril seemed to have no effect now. Pdoc prescribed me Ativan for anxiety and I told him I want to taper off of Restoril since not working any more. He advised me to taper by taking 22.5mg 3 days, then 15mg 4 days, 7.5mg 3 days, then stop. He also prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep. I noticed the Ativan raised my heart rate. On 7/16, as I started to doze off I got a brain zap. Ever since this day I never get sleepy and have TOTAL insomnia, can never fall asleep on my own without some kind of medication. Noticed increased palpitations and severe dehydration. Hands and feet sweating. On 7/18 I had a tingling sensation in my brain and then blurred vision in my right eye. I also noticed a weird smell of some kind of chemical or paint on 7/19. On 7/21 they advised me to switch from Trazodone to Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep again and also take Lunesta 3mg if needed (prescribed by a sleep specialist). Still not getting sleep. Now at this point I notice blurred vision and loss of appetite. On 7/24 my pdoc wanted to put me on Zyprexa for sleep but I refused. He prescribed Lorazepam to take as needed for anxiety. On 7/25 high blood pressure, then after then went back down to normal. At this point I feel like I am dying. My sleep specialist tells me to try cognitive behavioral therapy. (Yeah right, Been there, done that!) 7/27-7/30 I had been taking Lunesta for sleep and Ativan for anxiety (pdoc switched again because Lorazepam was not working), but sleep doc said long taper not needed to get off Ativan, withdrawals are psychological and not physical nothing will happen to me if I do not sleep and I don’t have to worry about withdrawals. 7/31 had muscle jerks when going to bed. Lunesta stopped working so GP said try Hydroxyzine and then Trazadone again if Hydroxyzine doesn't work. Of course this did not work, so my pdoc put me on Ambien CR 6.25mg and 1500mg Depakote as a mood stabilizer. I tried this for a few days and still had trouble sleeping, getting 2-3 hours. GP Prescribed Seroquel for sleep. Took 8/16-8/17, 50mg and 25mg respectively, and did not sleep for more than 1-2 hours. Now I am seeing a NEW pdoc, she has me tapering off of the 50mg Seroquel, taking 10mg Doxepin at night, 5-15mg Melatonin as needed, I am still on the 1500mg Depakote. I have totally gotten off of then Ativan by tapering using diazepam. Each day I feel like I am worse than the day before. I am trying to figure out where I go from here.... stay on the current dose of Seroquel and try to reinstate the drug that may have caused the HORRIBLE withdrawals and total insomnia I am experiencing now (either Abilify or Paxil), or follow my new pdoc advice and taper the Seroquel and see how it goes (whilst adding the doxepin and Melatonin, breaking the keep it simple rule)? I am desperate and totally sleep deprived and getting worse by the day, which is why at this point I think she is just trying to get me to sleep. I even have an EEG next week to check for problems there. Thanks for reading. Kevie

Hi, I am researching how to taper mirtazapine but I have been holding my benzo taper for over a year as I could not handle ws. I don't know if I taper both at the same time or which one first. I gave in and went on mirtazapine due to sleep deprivation but the drug is causing akathesia, tremors, histamine issues, fatigue, chronic pain and I'm not sleeping much. I was tapering my Diazapam at .05mg every 2 weeks and couldn't handle it. Compounded liquid was rougher than capsules so I am holding at 7.9mg compounded capsules. The doctor cuts a 15mg pill in quarters for my 3.75mg sandoz-mirtazapine. I don't believe this to be an accurate method? I am looking at compounded capsules for the taper. I can not do a self-taper based on my prescriptions. So I must get the doctor on board with best practices and he will not let me self taper by making my own at home. He seems to only allow a cut and hold every 2 weeks. As my Sandoz-mirtazapine is not available in powder the compounding pharmacy would be using tablets reground to powder to make the capsules. Is this an acceptable practice? I appreciate help with this as holding where I am right now is as bad as tapering.