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Servadai's Success Story First, I'd like to say I choose this site because people seem really nice and non-judgemental (hope I won't see 'your dose is too small, you've been on antidepressants only for a year etc.) I decided to share my story, not to ask for pity, but to maybe get better tips. So in summary: -since childhood I've always been a bit of deep thinker, though I've never had problems making friends etc. So i would say i had happy childhood, with no big traumatic events -when I was 12 my mother died (she had cancer) -at that time I was stepping into the puberty and as my dad was drinking and my brothers went to college, I was left alone and maybe with too much freedom. My mother was strict but caring and full of love so I often wonder if I would end up like this i she was still alive -I smoked weed a couple of times and drank every weekend, also took my dads normabel when he yelled at me or something -my dad is now alchol free, and he even stopped smoking, but he used to beat me...well not much but still enough to leanight me emotional scars I guess. I thought it did not bother me until recently when I talked with a psychologist ad started crying, so I guess I kept it buried? (she also told me to report him but I assure you it's not that bad, also, I really love my dad, he supports me...everyone has flaws, and it's not my dads fault he went to war and has a mild ptsd) -at that time I could not rely on my dad, my brothers were everything...till the day the train hit our car and they both ended in hospital, one of them almost died. We were never sentimental or emotional around each other (kind of a family thing) but I cried all night thinking I would loose them. I found about the accident through internet article my friend sent me, and I had to wake up my dad who was very drunk that night -so all in all I was a confused teenager but i didn't had problems until summer 2013 -I was diagnosed in Jan 2014 with phoboc-anxiety disorder and put on meds (Escitalon-escitalopram-10 mg) -Currently coming off of them and going through withdrawal (it's my 12th day without them) This is all for now. I have a lot of questions but I'll take it slow. P.S. for my fellow christians, my fate helped me a great deal (it's the reason I didn't break down), so tips and prayers are very welcomed.