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Hello everyone. Although I feel like maybe I'm not as bad as many many people here, I would still like to share my story, since I have been through some suffering lately. Hope I don't bother you. Tl;dr: When I reinstated Luvox I started having depression, terrible feelings of hopelessness, dread and doom, no joy in activities or life in general, lack of purpose or meaning in life, and no love for my boyfriend, which troubles me the most. I never had depression before. Wondering if it was the Luvox and starting to taper, but afraid... So it all began when I was 9 years old. I started having severe panic attacks and anxiety out of nowhere. Afraid to die, afraid my parents would die because they were older than "normal" (used to call my mom every 5 minutes to see if she was alive), afraid of death in general. After a while, I was seeing a psychiatrist for children and started taking Clomipramine, don't know the dosage, until I was 12. I don't remember much because it was 13 years ago, but I don't recall any problems with withdrawal. From that point until I was 21, everything was fine. I would ocasionally have shortness of breath and that kind of stuff, but completely manageable. I was always a very good student (my mom told me they had an IQ test or something and they said I was "gifted", but we never explored that so I don't think it's really important), I practised sports, I learned to play the piano, I always had a great social life, very active. Now, in 2013, when I was 21 years old, everything went downhill. I was in a relationship since 2011 and it was not a great one, we would fight a lot, he would always break up with me, changing is mind about loving me on a weekly basis, insulting me, saying nobody would like me if they really knew me, etc. This relationship lasted until 2015, mainly because of my inability to let it go, as I thought I could never be happy again without him. In 2013, I had a huge anxiety and panic attacks crisis. I was also diagnosed with ocd (obsessive thoughts with mental compulsions, have little to none physical ones). Started on Sertraline but rapidly stopped because I couldn't tolerate the dizziness and nausea and it would make me more anxious. They put me on Xanax for 3 months and I tapered it in one month. Spent two horrible days with insomnia and EXTREME anxiety, but after those two days, it all subsided. Two months later (February 2014) I was worse (panic attacks, dp/dr, etc) and was put on Luvox (fluvoxamine - 50mg). It was well tolerated, and it helped me for two years, but I noticed I would still have anxiety and the obsessive, I just wouldn't reach the point of a panic attack. About a year and a half in, I started taking 25mg and everything was ok. Now where it got worse. In April 2016 I started to taper it with the help of my psychiatrist (whom doesn't really talk to me for more than 5 or 10 minutes, doesn't believe Luvox made me gain 33 pounds in under a year, and told me it usually had no bad effects). He told me to start taking it every other day (the 25mg) for a week, then every two days for a week, then every three days, etc. At this point, my previous relationship was over for a year and I was starting a new one. When I was taking it every two days, I started having SEVERE DP/DR and PANIC ATTACKS. I was told to take the 25mg everyday. It didn't work and he told me to raise to 50mg. Well, the panic attacks have stopped but the worse came. Since I was back on 50mg, I started to feel unhappy. I have a great boyfriend now, who really supports me and cares about me, I am studying psychology with very good grades, so everything is fine I guess. But I started to feel disconnected and detached. I feel no joy, no happiness in activities I used to enjoy. I reduced my going out of home very very much, sometimes spending a week without leaving my house and bed. I find no purpose in life, no sense (mybe it is an existential crisis, used to have them but not to this extent). I sometimes feel very frustrated and cry from hopelessness. I don't know what to do. Somedays I don't feel anything at all. On new years I was downtown watching the fireworks and suddenly I felt detached and very nervous and had to go home. My boyfriend came with me and it was ok after a while. But I can't stop feeling sad and with no joy. And the WORST OF ALL, sometimes I don't feel love for my boyfriend I know I love him, I think I do, but I can't feel it. I used to feel love so so so deeply and it is so strange to me. I told this to my psychiatrist and he said it was normal with the antidepressant but there was no problem and I had to keep taking it and he told me I had depression because of the anxiety, ocd and panic attacks. But I feel I just got worse since I reinstated it. I never had depression before and I had this since I was 9... Do you think maybe it is the Luvox? I am thinking of finding another psychiatrist since mine says that withdrawal from antidepressants is not usual and it was my symptoms coming back. But i reinstated it and I just got worse and worse. I sometimes think of suicide, but not in a "I want to do it" kind of way, nor finding relief in it. On the contrary, I feel so hopeless and purposeless that I fear it might come the time that there is no other way and it really scares me, since one of my great fears is dying and ceasing to exist. I want to taper it but I am afraid I am broken already and I have no hope. I don't want to feel the terrible withdrawal symptoms but I can't take this anhedonia anymore. It makes me so, so sad. I also sleep for more than 12 hours a day and sometimes I don't even see the light of day. I just want to feel happy again, but I am afraid I have no hope at that, that I will be depressed forever. What do you think? Sorry for the long post, but I needed to talk to someone that might have experienced the same as I do. Thank you so much, hope you all feeling well on your journey.

Until I was 30 years old I had never put an antidepressant in my mouth. I had a normal life. I studied, graduated, dated, got married, etc., etc. Since I was a child, I've always been a little anxious/worried. When I was young, I had some difficulty sleeping. I also had gastritis due to anxiety, but nothing more than that. I never resorted to medication, even though I faced many traumas (my father's death, problems with my mother that made me move in with my grandmother, etc.). However, I started taking Lexapro 20 mg from 2010 until 2017 to treat classic depression caused by a disease that no one discovered and that made me feel a lot of pain. In 2017, after many bad episodes, notably my son's diagnosis with a serious illness, Lexapro was no longer effective. I started to feel scared, depressed, with back pain and anxious. I was afraid that my eldest son would also be diagnosed with the same disease. Now I question whether the exacerbation of these symptoms was not a result of Lexapro itself. WE WILL NEVER KNOW. The fact is that the doctor - in 2017 - switched to CYMBALTA 60 mg and I reacted VERY WELL. I even got through traumatic episodes, like the sudden death of my grandmother - which for me was everything in life, as she was the one who raised me - and everything went very well. The only annoying effect was dizziness when standing up. I actually fainted a few times because of it. In one of them I even had to get stitches in my head. Anyway, everything was going very well until the episode occurred in May/2023, in which I was fired by my friend, who suggested that I had committed a crime in 2016. After what happened, I became very depressed, I didn't want to get out of bed, a feeling of injustice, difficulty waking up, etc., but I was still able to do normal activities. Early July 2023 - when I was much better and didn't feel any of the symptoms I'm experiencing now - I went back to the doctor, who decided, don't ask me why, to increase the DUAL to 90mg. About 2 weeks after starting the new dose, the monster that now plagues my life began to be born. After seeing a news story saying that a certain person had been convicted for an event that had occurred 6 years ago even though he was innocent, I began to feel afraid that the suggestion made by the monster who fired me could come true, despite there being no factual-logical support. for that. From then on, I believe that due to the increase in medication, I began to feel anguish I had never experienced before - and which I later discovered was not that bad as I would feel much worse. But, as it was something new for me, I was very scared and, after contacting the doctor, I was prescribed Pristiq 50 + 0.25 Rexulti. I argued that I didn't want to take two medications. Because of this, she told me to just take pristiq. After about a week, I felt much better and thought everything was over. A few days later, however, the symptoms of anxiety/distress and intrusive thoughts returned. Therefore, we switched to 100 mg of pristiq associated, at my suggestion, with cannabis extract. However, the medication (Green Care 79.14 mg/ml) caused me 2 panic attacks. I was traumatized by these two events and permanently stopped taking THC. For the first time in over a decade, I had to take a Xanax to calm down. However, without any change of medication, the anxiety began to return very strongly, to the point of almost preventing normal activities from being carried out. Even so, it was possible to tolerate the symptoms with GREAT DISCOMFORT. Upon returning to the doctor's office, I reported the worsening of symptoms and the Pristiq dose was increased to 150 mg, this time associated with half a Rexulti tablet (0.25). As I was very fragile and wanted to improve, I accepted the association with the antipsychotic. About 1 week later, my symptoms improved and I thought that, this time, things would go well. After 1 or 2 weeks I felt good - although a little accelerated. However, at the end of November/2023 I started to feel very anxious, accelerated and distressed, which caused a terrible cycle of thoughts. They were very uncomfortable symptoms that were slowly destroying me. I even had a kind of panic attack, but I resisted without taking Xanax. I was anxious for almost the entire day, but I refused to speak up for fear of more problems. Mysteriously, all these symptoms diminished greatly during the night, so that, as far as possible, it was possible to sleep well, despite being very distressed during the morning and afternoon. Well, after this episode I went back to the office. Seeing my condition, the doctor decided to replace the 150 mg of Pristiq with 20 mg of Lexapro with the removal of 0.25 mg of Rexulti. In the first week after withdrawing from Pristiq, it felt like something bad had come out of me. From 11/21 until 11/28 the symptoms decreased until they almost disappeared. I was quite happy. I thought I had discovered what caused all this and that there would be a happy ending soon. But there was no time to celebrate. On 11/29/23, 8 days after withdrawing from Pristiq and starting Lexapro, the anguish returned in a brutal and overwhelming way. So great and intense that the desire to kill oneself appeared as the only option to end the suffering. I had never felt this before. Therefore, it is obvious that the medication was to blame. From 11/29 onwards, my real downfall began. Despite the ups and downs, before that, I was able to go for my daily run, work and have leisure time. From then on, no more. After 11/29 I have certainly been facing the worst phase of my life. If I weren't working remotely, I would have to take time away from activities. From that date on, I completely abandoned the faith that had helped me so much in the past and my life became a distressing struggle for survival. From being a fervent Catholic with a daily rosary, I no longer had the strength to continue. It was my wedding anniversary and I couldn't go out to dinner with my wife, just to give an example. I was completely dysfunctional. Many times I couldn't even take my children to school or go to the supermarket. He was in a daily hell that seemed to have no end other than taking his own life. The days that followed were terrible. During this period, I was forced to take xanax every day (I only took it once a day, but if I could, I would take it every 3 hours), such was the anguish. I had never felt anything close to that. Not even Doistoevksi, or perhaps only he, could faithfully describe the overwhelming feelings that invaded my soul. On December 7th, due to my terrible condition, the doctor suggested that I take ketamine sessions and add 0.5 of Rexulti to the 20mg of Lexapro. From then on I had ups and downs. After the first two ketamine sessions I thought I was cured and that everything was over. I was wrong. After a few days of improvement, I began to worsen dramatically with terrible anxiety and panic, as well as intrusive thoughts. On 1/8/24, in a new consultation, the doctor decided to maintain Lexapro 20 mg and maintain 0.5 of Rexulti. That same day, I went on vacation with my family and had the worst vacation of my life. Catastrophic thoughts accompanied me at all times. I was already waking up with a LOT of fear and panic. I spent the whole day like this, with the same thought circulating and plaguing my mind. I went to the beach with atrocious difficulty. Every 5 minutes, throughout the day and afternoon, I had to relive what happened to tell myself that there was no reason to worry, that it was just the thought of a crazy person, etc., etc., all of this surrounded by a lot of fear, anguish and panic. At night, there was a little relief and, I don't know how, I was able to sleep well. But I woke up the next day in absolute panic. It was a nightmare. Upon returning from vacation, on January 22, 2024, in complete despair, I went to another doctor. He said that I had symptoms similar to those of OCD and ordered me to keep the Lexapro, remove the 0.5 of Rexulti and take Luvox 50mg for 3 days, then switch to 100. In the first three days I noticed that the intrusive thoughts decreased. Given this, he asked to maintain the 50mg, in addition to the 20mg of Lexapro. From the fourth day onwards, however, despite the thoughts having reduced, the anguish/panic increased a lot again and came in a BRUTAL and OVERWHELMING way. I had terrible episodes for about 10 days, where I really wanted to kill myself to end the pain. I woke up with a feeling so bad I couldn't describe it. I even fainted on two occasions. I couldn't carry out everyday activities, like going to the supermarket or taking my children to play soccer. I had never felt anything like this. Doctor gave Buspirone but it was like water. Therefore, he told me to take Xanax 3x a day, in addition to the other medications. Afraid of the effects of benzos, he took xanax only when the anguish was unbearable and tried to live in anguish at all times, without respite. Then, in desperation, I asked the doctor to remove the Lexapro - because I thought it was causing the symptoms. On 02/02/2024, he ordered 5 days of Lexapro 10mg and then withdrawn, he kept 50mg of Luvox and started Elavil 25 (should go to 75 mg in 5 days) and Lithium 600 (2x of 300). The day after taking 25 mg of Amytril, on February 3, 2024, I felt better. I was very happy because I didn't wake up in a panic and I didn't feel like throwing myself out the window, something that had been with me in the last few months. But my general condition continued to be poor. From then on, very slowly, I gradually improved. It wasn't great, but I stopped wanting to die. Given the improvement, the doctor asked to keep Elavil at 25 mg. I suggested that he reduce/remove Luvox but was ignored. I thought it might have effects from completely withdrawing from Lexapro but it didn't get any worse. At an appointment on 2/22/2024 with another doctor, I was in a simply reasonable state. Still very traumatized by everything I suffered and went through, but without that anguish and panic that paralyzed me and left me wanting to die (and sometimes to kill myself, which scared me a lot). As for the thoughts that I would be reported, etc., they came many times a day, but without panic or anguish. But it was much better than my previous state. I was very happy with your new doctor's line of thinking - who also understood that most of the terrible symptoms I suffered stemmed - not from my condition - but from the medications. I reminded the doctor that I was flooded with a sea of serotonin and norepinephrine (I was prescribed an incredible 150 mg of Pristiq + 0.25 of Rexulti, then 20 mg of Lexapro + 0.5 of Rexulti, and finally 20 mg of Lexapro, + 50 mg of Luvox). One of the doctors even commented that we could increase Lexapro to 40 mg!!!! My perception is that what made me improve was Lithium. After 2 weeks of taking the mineral, I had a good improvement considering my previous condition. The effect of 25 mg Elavil was also impressive, as I took it at night and, the next morning, I didn't wake up in despair. As for Luvox, I honestly think it does me more harm than good. I remind friends who read me that I am one of the many cases in which the patient presents a small complaint and is devastated a few months later by the medications. If the medication starts to cause unwanted effects, the standard medical approach is to always increase the dose, and never take out the medication. It's insane. The new doctor ordered dozens of tests, including genetic ones, and authorized the reduction of Luxox to 25 mg. I've been on the new dose for 15 days and I'm still doing it - not very well - but simply stable. He also said that our target is to remove everything ( AMEN). He also said - unlike the previous doctor - that I don't have OCD, just a persistent intrusive thought. I remember never feeling anything like that. I never had thoughts that tormented me day and night. I remember never feeling anything like that. I never had thoughts that tormented me day and night. This is yet another indication that this all happened due to the different drugs I was put on. The thoughts that I could be accused of something - despite having done nothing - appear all the time, but without the panic like before. Today, 8/3/24, I am taking low doses of three medications: 25 mg of Elavil 25 mg of Luvox 600 mg of Lithium, The first withdrawal occurred. 15 days ago I reduced Luvox from 50 to 25. Because of all this, here I am, looking for everyone's help to, little by little and very carefully - after all, I am very traumatized by what I went through and felt - remove these medications from my life and get out of this nightmare I have been going through. Thanks and sorry for the bad english.

Hello. I've been reading everything I can on this wonderful website over the past week. I can not believe the selflessness of the moderators. This entire website is a valuable resource. Back story time(I'll keep it short). I have suffered from postpartum mental health issues after all my babies. 5 years ago September 2019, I hurt my back. That caused me to not being able to workout. That spiraled into a full on OCD meltdown. I lost weight, couldnt eat, sleep or function. I started therapy and visited a psychiatrist. I was put on all sorts of drugs but landed on fluvoxamine ER amd .50 Klonopin as needed. I felt great. I quit the Klonopin permanently in late 2020. It wasn't consistent so I had no trouble stopping it. I'm in a good place in my life right now. My medication has made me flat, lifeless and dulled to the world. I have some other physical side effects that aren't worth it. I was fine before my melt down and I'm hoping I'll be fine after this taper. In early December 2023 I read a little about tapering. I opened my pill and took out 10 grains of the medication. I felt a little edgy and weepy for 4 weeks. But I was expecting side effects and was fine. I planned to weigh my medication and do a slower taper. Well last Monday I ran out of my medication. The pharmacy was out and ordering more. I had been without meds for a night here and there so I thought I'd be fine. NOPE. I didn't sleep. I felt intense panic and anxiety. I had brain zaps. I felt nauseous. It was terrible. I was able to get ahold of my medication and reinstated it at the lower dose, minus 10 grains of medication. The anxiety has been weird over the last week. It's low level most of the time. I can't eat and feel hopeless. I understand I messed up and am dealing with withdrawal. I'm currently taking 90mg of fluvoxamine er? I'm not sure of the exact dose since I just removed beads. I'm prepared to micro taper off this medication. I'm prepared to take years and go slow. I'm hoping to stabilize soon. Since this medication is extended release I can't crush it up. I'm wondering if I should start taking immediate release so I can really microsose if need be? I've heard switching can be hard since the medication leaves much quicker than extended release. I started a 24 hour symptom journal because my anxiety gets worse late afternoon until I take my medication. I didn't used to have that problem. My nervous system is all wonky right now I imagine. Just looking for a little guidance and friendly help. I have an appointment with my psych doctor next week and I can switch to immediate release if needed. I'm also going to start therapy again. I need extra support.

I have tried to taper 50mg first by splitting doses into half and taking 25mg twice a day. I was breaking Controlled Release tablets as I wasn't aware that they shouldn't be split. After 1 month I reduced the dosage to 25mg. I switched to alternate brand (voxidep) as 25mg dosage is not available in the earlier brand (Fluvoxin). Took 25mg of new brand for 15 days and then 12.5 mg for 4 days and then stopped. After stopping everything, I went to vacation for 10 days. Felt no discomfort or withdrawal syamptoms. Exactly after 1 month of discontinuation, started feeling extreme discomfort, increased heart palpitations and dizziness. Since I couldn't tolerate, I resumed 50mg ( I am regretting the higher reinstatement) Now I switched to Immediate Release tablets of original brand (25mg twice a day), as I can cut them easily into smaller parts. Can I reduce by 6.25 (1/8th of 50mg) every month? I am ok with small variations with cuts as I don't want to switch the brand again. (The smallest dose I can get with my long time brand (Fluvoxin) is 50mg, no issues whatsoever except that I need to cut the pill into 8 pieces) I have a bought a weighing scale and planning to order my cut pieces in the decreasing order of weights. Please help me understand if I can be stable again with immediate release pills ? And does my planned tapering (6.25mg every month with immediate release starting from Feb 15, 2022, hoping I will be stable by that time) sound good and feasible? Currently facing dizziness, lost concentration, clear thinking ability, body pain and body imbalance. History: 2002-2010 - Prodep 10mg (Fluvoxetine) 2013-2016 - Prodep 40mg 2018-2020 - Fluvoxin 200mg (Fluvoxamine) Jun'21 - Jul'21 - Fluvoxin 150mg (cold turkey) Jul'21 - Apr'22 - Fluvoxin 100mg CR Apr'22 - September'22 - Fluvoxin 50mg CR

I'm start to taper klonopin becouse I feel that klonopin is making me the most problems,in fact I suposted to be tapering luvox first but klonopin is asking me more and more to feel some sort of normal so i decated to taper it first,I'm also on diazepam so I hope that I am on the right plce to have some answers becouse Here it is some sort of diferent that on benzobuddies becouse you say to taper ssri first but becouse I am on two benzos maybe it is the right way to taper one benzo then luvox,tnx and be well

Hi everyone, I was first prescribed SSRIs at a very young age—somewhere around 10 years old (around 2005-2008)—due to temper tantrums as a boy. It started with Fluvoxamine. I was on that for at least 10 years, with dose increases at various points, ending at 150mg. In 2022, I tried to quit cold turkey. Crashed hugely about 3 months in. Headaches, bouts of intense crying/laughing, sweating, feeling “out of it.” My doctor put me on 10mg of Lexapro. I stabilized after maybe a month and took it consistently since then. Now, end of September 2023, wanting to get off the meds, my doctor recommended a 2 week taper at half dose (5mg). After 2 weeks, stop, he said. I felt good during the 2 weeks of 5mg. Then sometime during the 3rd week it hit me; anxiety, cold shivers and chills, nausea, couldn’t get out of bed, complete lack of energy, arms and legs feel heavy, shakiness, poor balance, muscle weakness, confusion, inability to focus, feeling “out of it,” light headed, out of breathe. Desperate for relief, I got back on the 10mg Lexapro. I’ve been back on for just over 2 weeks now. The worst of the symptoms are gone but I still feel light headed/“out of it” and still have pretty bad anxiety, especially in the morning when it’s borderline debilitating. Has anyone experienced this? Will I find resolve soon? Any advice?

I was on 100mg of fluvoxamine and other medications for 8 months. When I started tapering and reached 25mg, I began to feel better. My anhedonia, mood, emotional numbness improved. I stopped obsessing about anhedonia and PSSD, which had occupied my mind for months, and felt hopeful about my future and felt mostly a normal human being again. I tapered in total for 2.5 months, which I know was pretty fast, but I experienced mild to no withdrawals, so I decided to go faster. However, after I stopped taking fluvoxamine completely 1 week ago (jump from 12.5 to 0), I became easily angry, stressed, and sleep-deprived for a few days. Then I shut down again, I experienced a setback in anhedonia. I knew I needed a vacation instead of being in a stressful environment during this fragile period for my brain. Stress stopped, but I wasn’t able to feel stressed when on anhedonia so this isn’t a good sign, I hope I didn’t do myself more damage. It's not as severe as when I was on medication, but enough to make me feel flat again, no emotions, fatigue and apathy and make me worry about anhedonia and PSSD again. I needed to taper slowly I was dumb..I am worried I gave my fragile brain a shock too big. Anyway, is it common to have anhedonia rebound when tapering too fast? Are there chances for recovery?

SleepPls009 - Luvox Withdrawal, Insomnia, and Heart Problems (Oh my!) Hi All, It’s great to meet you! Though I wish it were under better circumstances. I’m looking for advice around Luvox reinstatement and doctors who deal with withdrawal; more information is at the bottom of the post. I thank you in advance for your help! I am seven months off of Luvox after having taken it for roughly 20 years. After years of experiencing persistent fatigue, muscle twitches, and some increasing insomnia, I decided to go off Luvox in March to see if that helped my symptoms. Go figure, it made everything ten times worse! I was on 200mg daily in winter ‘21, went down to 100mg without incident at the end of the year. Then in March ‘22 I began tapering little by little until I hit zero on April 12 (note: I was aware that stopping cold turkey was a bad idea, but I was unfamiliar with the concept of protracted withdrawal). Little by little I kept waking up earlier and earlier until I could barely sleep, and depression symptoms kicked in hard. My PCP started me on Prozac in mid-May to treat what she thought was underlying, emergent depression, and after a week I reacted so badly to it that I went to the hospital (couldn’t sleep for days, got a fever, upset stomach, shaking uncontrollably). I proceeded to try a number of different meds with my psychiatrist, but every antidepressant would either keep me awake for days, and every sleep med would lose effectiveness fairly quickly. I eventually got the idea that I might still be withdrawing from Luvox, so we decided to do a med washout to see what would happen. I survived on melatonin at the time, which was abnormally effective at low doses, and kept putting off going back on Luvox, somewhat out of stubbornness, since I felt it would be a “waste” to go back on after all that effort if I could make it to the other end of withdrawal. Eventually (about mid-late August), my brain flipped a switch, and the deep depression spontaneously went away. At the same time, my insomnia problem switched from staying asleep to falling asleep (kind of like what I occasionally had before stopping Luvox but much worse). That’s when medicine reactions became weird. I’d taken ambien before a number of times (roughly 10, 11 in total?) before August. I tended to avoid it because it made the depression a lot worse. I tried it again when the depression went away, and started having strange heart palpitations. One day after I took ambien, I went to the hospital for chest squeezing, but they found nothing. Thinking I was being paranoid, I tried it again a few weeks later and started to have what felt like a full-on heart attack. After working with a cardiologist for a number of months, it seems that ambien was causing vasospasm, or prinzmetal’s angina. A few other meds started causing this, too: Lunesta (I let a doctor convince me it was chemically different enough from ambien - dumb mistake), Quviviq (totally different mechanism than ambien, so confusing), and even melatonin causes odd heart palpitations now. The vasospasm itself seems to cause some sort of injury, because running (which I could do with ease before) brought on an episode, and after episodes I am weak and have chest pain for weeks. I am now at the point where I’m trying to decide what to do next. If my nervous system is still changing, I’m worried that it could further affect my heart or other systems if I let it continue to go unchecked. So this is what I’m wondering: Bottom line: I would love advice on whether I should reinstate Luvox. While I know this is a doctor’s realm, my current psychiatrist doesn’t understand (or acknowledge) protracted withdrawal. I will either need to take evidence and a concrete plan to him, or find a doctor who better understands these issues. As for the arguments for/against reinstating, I am now sleeping better, though not well (I still go about two nights without sleep a week and average 5-6 on a good night). But the crazy/dangerous reactions to meds give me pause. On one hand, I don’t want to cause more problems, and I’m almost worried that taking Luvox now would trigger another vasospasm. But if my nervous system is still rearranging itself I’m also worried that, left alone, it’s bizarre reactions to things could get worse! I would also like to get rid of the visual snow if at all possible. I’d also love recommendations for doctors who deal with or specialize in this sort of withdrawal and nervous system disregulation. I know they are few and far between, but I’m willing to travel pretty much anywhere at this point to get the help I need. Thank you all for your help, and I look forward to hearing back from you!

I was put on SSRIs when I was 10. Luvox (Fluvoxamine). I never got off them until adulthood. I guess I took it for granted that I needed them. I don't remember anyone ever suggesting that it could be anything but positive or maybe neutral. Really, I don't remember much of what I thought as a child. I grew much worse after that though people could say "that was going to happen anyway", as they do. I have traced a few severe blowups (that had fairly life-altering consequences) to medication changes around that time. My adolescence was the gradual end of any sort of comfort in and control over my own mind. But again, don't these changes sounds similar enough to normal adolescent development that they are very easily dismissed? I couldn't really explain how or why it was any different. That my stress was not of the normal variety. That my mind working worse wasn't simply due to the stress. Even as I made some headway on issues I had, things seemed to get harder. I suspected the level of anxiousness I was feeling wasn't normal. I think my whole system was in a state of hyper arousal. I had intrusive thoughts. Strange patterns of thinking. Positive emotions were blunted. Negative emotions were excruciating. I always felt unsafe because I could sense that my mind and my body had become clumsy and bad at assessing, reacting, defending. I found no pleasure in doing things or accomplishing what little I could. Grew increasingly confused. Increasingly demoralized and demotivated because the good feelings that I felt should have followed from certain pleasures and victories now felt hollow. I have a memory of walking somewhere around my neighborhood around 18 and being horrified that nothing looked real. It was like I was looking at inert paintings. This examples of derealization was just one of many terrifying, confusing experiences I was subjected to throughout my adolescence as the older adults I turned to dismissed and demeaned and blamed me for something they either directly inflicted on me or that was inflicted with their participation and complicity. I was beginning to hope in 2016 because I realized my mental state had begun to improve by leaps and bounds after my emotionally abusive brother moved away and I had less exposure to him. I could still not function though. I was slow to do things. Couldn't figure things out. Had no one who understood. I decided to gamble with coming off my meds. "If anything bad happens I can always just go back on them." I gradually lowered the doses of Wellbutrin and then Prozac over 2-3 months. It felt like nothing really changed. Then 3 months after stopping Prozac, I started to become extremely irritable and angry. Losing it and throwing things. I thought I will go back on. And I think, that was the end. My head felt like it exploded. If I thought I had trouble thinking before, it was nothing compared to what I experienced after taking the next pill. I could not sit still and be calm and think. I turned to my GP who vaguely said I should go back on and would resume to a stable state eventually. So I raised the doses, fighting through an excrucating battle because I believed at the end of the road was some bit of safety. For a year, I tormented myself for not only nothing but with the consequence of leaving myself much worse off. By the time I came off again in 2018, I knew I should be doing a slow taper. But I could not figure out anything complex myself. I could not do anything requiring fine motor skills or thinking. I thought if I didn't do it then, I never would. By July 2018, I had come off them both again. Weaning by weeks at a dose though I knew this wasn't enough. I hoped that I would just have to fight through irritability again. Maybe this time, it wouldn't be so bad since I knew it was coming. In some ways, that was true. But I didn't realize how bad it could get. I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to speak or stand up or walk or that every second would feel like an eternity or that I would never have a moment's peace or pleasure or hope. And I didn't know that after suffering through torment for years, I would be left in a state that feels, if not quite as tormenting, just as hopeless. A life devoid of pleasure or meaning. A life where every pathway to anything better is cut off. My food sensitivities developed at 6 months cessation the 2nd withdrawal (around January 2019). At least that's when they hit that I noticed. They'd probably been in the works for a long time before that. Really, even before I'd come off my meds, I think. I ate very little. The few people who saw me said they worried I would die of starvation. I wish I had. Eating most food made the constant pulsating inside shake me violently. And since 99% of the time I had to be lying down, it was not bearable. They also worsened intrusive thoughts and thought patterns which seemed very much like the beginnings of psychosis. I guessed from something I read here that I'd developed a histamine intolerance and it was a a bit easier to manage. Apples were the only thing that helped but it was only local (from this province) and even they were not a guarantee. Ones that didn't work actually made me worse even that other types of foods. An apple from an otherwise good lot that had its skin broken somewhere (those very tiny nicks you see on some) was a bad one and would make me worse. I always hoped to get good ones but rarely did. Much of the worst of my withdrawal, then and now is inextricably linked to my environment: an impossibly disorderly old house mess spilling everywhere and nowhere sanitary to put anything. This not only exacerbated chemical sensitivities which exploded in withdrawal but made me have daily meltdowns because of what as been diagnosed as 'obsessive compulsive disorder" and hyperarousal. If this was extremely distressing and soul-killing before, now in withdrawal it felt more like perpetual sexual violation. I lay in bed with labored breathing, chest pulsating heavily in a way I can't describe. A hurricane of intrusive thoughts in a brain that felt like it had shrunk to the size of a tiny crawlspace so that these thoughts would ricochet around endlessly. I tried to attempt meditation many times but it didn't help. Why would it? One of the first things you're told to do is find a comfortable space. Somewhere you feel relaxed. You might as well tell someone to practice beginner mediation in a mosh pit. In fact, trying to meditate seemed to agitate mental symptoms and worsen awareness of the physical ones. Perhaps if I was already experienced it would have been different. But I wasn't. By the time, my CNS had calmed down enough to try do anything about it again even slightly disturbing certain things would now trigger dust/mold being raised and would cause unbearable feelings. I can't really properly explain the extent to which every single process has been affected. How little I do. Am able to do. How much I've needed to further shut down my brain to deal with worrying about inevitable problems that crop up. My thinking in a calm, clean environment would probably be pretty screwed up still but if I'd had that, I probably would have been able to function and my withdrawal probably wouldn't have been hellish. One of the most important things in withdrawal is to not overstimulate your CNS. For me, the bombardment never stopped. And there was nothing I could do. Thoughts (and occasional attempts) at explaining and asking for help did little good. I was also terrified (and still am) that I would be put somewhere I might be forced to take more psychiatric medications. I even wonder if I could be coerced into it. My mind feels very loose and easy to knock over. Scared. I think it would possible that I could be bullied and shamed into thinking my entire interpretation of events had been wrong and acquiesce to more meds. Especially if I was in an even more helpless position than I am now. I am constantly tired. I can't plan and organize. I don't have a routine. I can barely make food (making healthy food that requires multiple steps is pretty much out of the question). My brain has a lot of trouble with managing different trains of thoughts and things. When I try, it triggers panic, anxiety and this exacerbates physical sensations which lead to more panic/anixety. I know my clothes often make me feel worse if they bits of dust on them. I don't know if that is because the dust in this old house carries mold spores and whatnot or it's just any dust. I also react to scents from almost anything. I've seen this is apparently called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity disorder which barely seems to be taken any more seriously than PAWS. I want to wash my clothes but the steps to doing that often just levae my brain in knots trying to think of how to position myself, move things without surfaces to put things on, keep them from getting more dust on them. And doing it leaves me exhausted. On many days, I'm too tired to even consider it. When I try to think of doing certain things, it's like my brain is being compressed and pinched and stretched. I can feel it in my face muscles and neck. It's torturous and if I push far enough it doesn't help me to do anything. I just lose it and start screaming. I want to ask for help but I know that any help rendered, I would need to explain or at least come up with some lie. I don't know how to do either. How can I say: it is likely pointless to even ask doctors about this because they deny it? How can I say: I have to decide between being cold or not wearing my coat or sweater today because whatever invisible little bits of grime that got on it make my chest feel clenched and my mind go stiff and inflexible in ways that prevents me from thinking and making decisions? I can't even sit in the living room because mold was released from an AC 2 years ago and I can't tolerate the air. I want to find out which air purifiers to get but my brain reels and shuts down trying to figure it out. Thinking about having to get them together to send them back. Figuring out where to put them. It's not the unpleasantness of the process but the fear that the process will bring everything to a screeching halt and there will be even less hope. My mother has barely held together and took care of me but she is older and been slowly collapsing. When I could finally more-or-less manage on my own (getting my own food, ordering groceries, paying bills) she stopped doing anything. I get her books and her meds and she reads and comes out to go the bathroom and make tv dinners. She had already been having emotional battles with my brother for decades before this and I had become her main source of emotional support. She lost this, faced years more of torment and also heard me say (very directly and unkindly things) terrible things when I had meltdowns. Her movement and life is restricted because I am here. She is worried about doing anything that will harm me. We switched rooms because the air in mind stopped me even from sleeping. The house is falling apart. I don't think there is any good future for either of us. I have thought of doing something to land myself in jail or psychiatric care despite the certain torture of forced meds though but think that likely I would just end up there for a time, be left worse off and then in my weakness and with a further damaged brain come back home and I know she would let me. Then I would be back to square 1 and maybe in a more volatile condition that could actually be dangerous. I have feared I would be violent many times. Both because I have so absorbed the idea that I was a bad person and didn't know what I was or wasn't capable of and because I had no idea what may be possible with the brain damage I have suffered. Suicide would solve that but leave her with terrible grief. She would be able to live at least in some manner though I suppose she might no longer want to. Reaching out to somewhere or other for some kind of help means, to me, an army of condescending, reality-denying people to whom I expose my pain and vulnerabilities after all my strength has already been drained. In all my years of experience, I know mostly people do not help. At least they haven't helped me. Maybe it works better when no one's story veers too off-script from what they know. I have thought sometimes of reinstatement. I've also thought maybe the one (I think it's an SSRI) that is suppose to calm that CNS for some people. Much of what I try to think or do is sort of violently cut down even before the thought emerges. I'm always pulled this way and that. But it goes beyond mental and I feel it in a physical way and there is unbelievable force that I can't describe. Every time I'd try to write this, I would stop because of this. I would not know what I was saying, not know the importance, be concerned with the order, the meaning and interpretation, what I was conveying, etc. Things converge into a traffic crash in my head and half thought and action. I don't have postitive thoughts about recovery. It seems usually it is people who were only on for a few years at most. People who began taking them in adulthood. People whose lives and basic functioning as human beings weren't as completely wrecked for their entire lives. I don't really feel entirely good about posting now. But it's been almost 3 years now. I might as well post something. Thank you for reading. I feel embarrassed and disspirited that I won't probably be able to absorb and implement any advice.

Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - Pattypan: Benzo Taper when it's only PRN Hello, I am new here. I have a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive DIsorder- I have had this for as long as I can remember. I was first medicated for it ( in my teens) 20+ years ago. I was on and off meds throughout my teens/20's. In 2015- I had an OCD "episode" that scared me to death and back on medications I went. After a few trial and errors I was stable on Lexapro for 4.5 years. I recently took myself down from 30mg to 20mg ( over the course of 1 week- yes- i had headaches, involuntary movements and brain zaps). As of yesterday I tapered to 15mg. I am feeling pretty bad today... and I understand I should be decreasing by 10% but for some reason that seems unreasonable to me.... ( in the past I have successfully tapered off of prozac, wellbutrin, celexa, zoloft and don't recall any of those being notable- I DO remember tapering off of Luvox was terrible) Any supplements or advice you may have to ease these taper symptoms? My goal is to be completely off of Lexapro in 1 month. Too soon? also- No i am not involving my doctors in this decision or this taper... I just don't trust that they know enough in regards to how to taper and they wont respect my decision to taper. Thanks in advance!

Hello. I have suffered from anxiety depresssion, mostly severe anxiety, since 2011. I took a lot of antidepressants and usually had a lot of side effects so a have never had a remission. Now i take fluvoxamine and olanzapine. I still feel anxiety and apathy with fatigue connected to my symptoms, so i want to stop taking fluvoxamine. I really need help what to do. Is it fine to smoothly stop taking pills if have symptoms of anxiety or not? Sorry for my English, it is not my native laguage. thank you so much for attention.

Hello all. I have been taking buspirone 7.5 once a day for about a year. Recently, i've been dealing with some intense obsessive/intrusive thoughts, and i started up an online psychiatric/talk therapy subscription to Brightside. In my first meeting with my provider, she took my medication history and asked about my symptoms and then prescribed me Fluvoxemine 50mg. She also told me to discontinue the buspirone, as those should not be taken together. My life has been hell ever since. (this was exactly two weeks ago). I thought i was just having severe side effects from the initial start of Fluvoxemine - which have been loss of appetite, stomach queasyness, intense never-before-experienced anxiety and edginess, insomnia, suicidal ideations, and have lost about 15 pounds. I have been taking .25mg of xanax to ease the anxiety, but that seems to be helping less and less. Having done some research here, it appears that stopping buspirone cold turkey was something that my provider should have not have recommended. I have message her in the app several times and have heard nothing back from her. I reached out to my friend who is a psych nurse practitioner who suggested that I do a quick taper off of Fluvoxemine (since i've only been on it for 2 weeks). I have already taken just half the dose of fluvoxemine yesterday and will take another half dose tonight. My question is - should I start back on Buspirone once I'm completely off of Fluvoxemine (in two days)? What happens when people go cold turkey off of a med and then after a couple of weeks, restart that med to ease withdrawl symptoms? I'm really in over my head here. I'll be looking for a new provider pronto but could be weeks until i can get a consultation. Thanks everyone - I'm thankful for this community.

I have been off of Mirtazapine since May 31st. Unfortunately I think I need to go back on. I was given the wrong advice and did an extremely fast wean. I was only taking 15 mg for 5 months. They had me completely weaned off within 10 days and now I’m really suffering the withdrawals. I currently have long Covid. I’ve had it for 7 months. It’s reason I was put on Mirtazapine to begin with. I am also taking 100mg of fluvoxomine. My question is can I just start back up on Mirtazapine (7.5mg) starting tonight? I need some relief from these symptoms. Then once my long Covid is better I will start a much slower weaning process

Hi everyone, I’ve read this site for a number of months and I wanted to tell you all how helpful it has been. I’m a happily married father of two and I am starting down the path of weaning of Luvox. Here’s my med history: 2005- Post-college I was diagnosed by a GP as having Generalized Anxiety Disorder and a Panic Disorder. I took Lorazepam every evening for 3 years and didn’t do the research to understand how dangerous that was. I got off of them cold turkey and you can imagine how that went. 2008- After finally getting off Lorazepam, my GP prescribed me Zoloft, Cymbalata, Paxil, Buspar to no avail- I still had anxiety. I stumbled on Lexapro and 10 MG was a dream drug for me. 2016- In December 2016, I had a routine surgery go wrong and I lost > than a liter of blood and was on a ton of painkillers for 2 weeks. I didn’t wean properly and after taking Tramadol, I was diagnosed with Serotonin Syndrome. I snapped out of that after about a week. 2017- I noticed that after my surgery, Lexapro was no longer working. From January to March, I tried to increase my dosage from 10 MG to 15 MG but I simply couldn’t get it to help my anxiety. In late March I began taking Pristiq and gave that 8 weeks but I was still to anxious. From June to early July I tried Trintellix but that drug made me very, very depressed (new to me) and I immediately switched back to a Lexapro. I tried to Lexapro 10 MG from July to October and my anxiety disappeared. However, the physical side effects (GI, chest tightnesss, etc) were too much to handle. I felt awful. In late October until now I tried taking 25 MG, 50MG Luvox and 100 MG Luvox CR. All of them manage my anxiety but I feel physically awful...like my insides are melting. I had CT scans, an endoscopy and a whole host of blood work and it all came back fine. I even wore a heart monitor for 2 weeks and everything checked out. I took 100 MG Luvox CR for a week and had to drop back down to 50 MG due to the physical side effects. I’ve recently gone from 50 MG of Luvox down to 25 MG for a few weeks and I’m now at 18.75 MG. Mentally, I feel great. Physically, I feel terrible. Every single day around noon, my sides, stomach and chest start feeling so bad...like they’re in a vice. I’m taking a pre and probiotic as well as B Complex. I’ve started taking Luvox midday since the half-life is so short. I did the GeneSight test and Prozac was the worst drug for me, so there goes that as an option to switch to for weaning/tapering. I’d love to get some advice on where to go from here. The most frustrating thing for me is when people tell me that the body aches I’m having is anxiety; I’m not anxious mentally in the slightest so I think these problems are either med or withdrawal related. I desperately want want to feel physically better so I can be a good father, husband, employee and friend. Thanks to you all in advance.

Hello I will give a brief summary of what has happened after taking most recent drugs. I am a 21 yr old college student, low-income and person of color who recently had to drop their studies (September) due to what I think is OCD and quit their job (November) due to never before experienced debilitating and frightening symptoms. These began after stopping Luvox 50 mg and Prozac 20 mg. I have never been warned or informed or properly tapered off any psychotropic drug by any psychiatrists I have seen including the one (due to insurance I can only speak with him once a month) who prescribed me the last four recent drugs. I was unfortunately very naive in my decisions surrounding these drugs. For clarity: I was being treated for "depression" and anxiety. Started at age 17. My signature is copied off records of prescription dates. For the most part I did not take pills regularly, I remember last year organizing my room and seeing that I had bottles full of pills I never took. A lot of prescriptions were what the psychiatrists called trial and error, so I was trying pills to see their effects which were miss which made me realize they were making me sick so I stopped. I unfortunately cannot remember which ones I did take consistently prior to this year (2021). Up until summer I was taking propranolol as needed for anxiety/stress (it had been I think ~1 yr more or less since I had taken any drug). During the summer I needed and wanted guidance to cope with anxiety/stress in the form of therapy. Through my insurance I emailed and left calls for many people but did not get responses and was getting discouraged. I was so desperate for relief that I was prescribed buspirone 10 mg, which did initially provide a calming relief. In the beginning of September 2021, I was overwhelmed with work and inability to properly cope with my internal problems which was taking a toll on my studies. *Here is where details become very blurry. I let the current psychiatrist know and he prescribed me Fluvoxamine 50 mg. The first two times I took it in the evening and found that it made me restless, it did not let me sleep. So I switched to taking it in the mornings and cut it in half; it still made me restless and I would be very sleepy during the day. I let the psychiatrist know and he told me to switch to Prozac 20 mg. I took it once it the morning before work and the restlessness was awful, I could not sleep at all. Note: I do remember taking advil pm and even buspirone alongside the fluvoxamine at the same time to abate the restlessness. I ceased all medications and after that and since then I have been experiencing things I have never experienced before. -acute short-term memory loss and other gaps in memory* -frightening confusion* -cognitive problems* -weird thinking and feelings I do not know the words to describe* -vision problems (after-image, visual snow/static, visual distortion, stars in vision)* -loss of personality and identity* -head ache/pain/pressure mostly* (this has been consistent, I remember waking up one day before work in October to a sharp pain only in the right side of my head, then afterwards feeling pressure localized around only the right side of my head/eye, and now a bit of the top of my head) -slipping in and out of consciousness when closing my eyes* -dpdr* -auditory problems (cannot focus on what I'm listening)* -feeling stuck in my head* -intrusive thoughts like never before* -hypnagogia -disorientation -delirium -coordination and balance problems -fear and dread -lack of motivation -bizzare dreams -heart/chest pain -dreadful anxiety for no reason -severe depression/anhedonia (I have never in my life experienced actual depression)* -crying so much There are more but I cannot remember right now. The ones with asterisks are the most concerning for me. Everything came on so suddenly and abruptly and unprecedentedly. I am so afraid that I am developing a more serious mental illness and that I will have to take more drugs which I do not want. I have no support system, my family is busy and other people I know are as well. The psychiatrist doesn't think the drugs did anything. With what strength I have, I was able to schedule a neurologist appointment and will be getting studies done. I feel that I am wasting their time. I think deep down I want this to be something physical that can be cured. Which I know is wishful and doesn't serve me good. I am trying my best to not let my fear get to me but I am constantly reminded of my decisions. I am beyond heartbroken, this is not who I am. I am a spirited and passionate person, I do not know what to do as I wait for answers.

Happy Holidays! My name's Mike and I'm 40 and I've been taking SSRI's for OCD/anxiety/depression most of my adult life, save for between 2003 to 2009. Since 2009, after years of doing quite well, I crashed and ended up back on fluvoxamine. The drug seemed to help more in the beginning, but as time went on I've increasingly lamented my loss of libido and what I feel are very dampened emotions. Even on 25mg., my current dose, I'm still missing my full range of emotions and feelings. I've been tapering for about 9 months now: Under the care of a psychiatric nurse, I've slowly reduced my dose from 100mg. to my current dose. I went from 100 to 87.5, 87.5 to 75, 75 to 62.5, 62.5 to 50, 50 to 37.5, 37.5 to about 31, 31 to 25. Each time I reduced I would stay on the new dose for at least 2-4 weeks. I've been on 25 mg. for about 4 months now. After what was a very depressing and upsetting election cycle for me, I decided to put the brakes on the taper, but I plan to resume again after the holidays and new year. My next appt. is in mid Jan. So, all in all, the taper's gone pretty smoothly. After each reduction I would usually experience a little dizziness, sometimes digestive issues, lack of focus, etc. etc., but nothing truly debilitating. My psych. nurse made it sound like my dose is so low that I could just about get off, but I've heard all the horror stories and I want to take it really slowly. The question is how slow? Since the taper's gone relatively smoothly, can I continue reducing from 25 to 18.75, 18.75 to 12.5 etc. etc? Or should I slow it down even more to keep it within the standard 10 to 25% reduction rate, since the dose is lower now? I know these are issues I need to discuss with the nurse, but I always feel so rushed during the session, only having 15 minutes and all to discuss the state of my brain! Seems like it should be a little bit longer Anyway, sorry If I'm rambling, but I came here because I'm long overdue to meet some new brothers and sisters who understand how frustrating and upsetting it can be being on medication. I feel like I'm walking a tight rope here: there's a part of me that wants to be off the medication YESTERDAY and then there's the more rational side of myself that's trying to divvy up the patience to take it slowly and thereby improve my chances of successfully getting off this stuff. So, that's my little intro. Hope everybody is enjoying the holidays and is good spirits and health. I look forward to hearing any thoughts you may have on my situation or from anybody else who is on fluvoxamine or just anybody who wants to chat. Be well and take care! Mike BTW, I should also mention I take Klonopin .25mg., as needed, but very sparingly. Sometimes I take a couple doses a week and other times I'll go weeks without taking it. I treat benzos as a last resort when meditation, breathing, jogging, writing, etc. don't work. Thought I should mention all the psych. drugs I currently take. Take care!

Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. I'm taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.

Hello, I was put on abilify this past summer and it helped my depression A LOT. I started noticing side effects and went fom 2mg to 1mg then from 1mg to 0.5mg. Abilify was causing low blood pressure, palpitations, and also interacting with the fluvoxamine I take. I really thought the drug was helping my head but destroying my body. I knew I had to stop taking it so I went from 0.5mg to 0. Immediately something was very wrong. My psychiatrist said it couldnt be from the abilify because I was on such a low dose. After my own google search I showed him that it was in fact the withdrawal causing my issues. This is te worst panic and anxiety I have ever felt, I am nauseas and have lost 10lbs, depressed isnt even the word, I am so disconnected from reality and dont even know who I am or what is going on, I can't focus, and feel completely alone. I have been researching every supplement out there and every psychiatrist who might have a magic answer. I am taking tiny pieces of xanax to survive but I am very afraid of using it long term. Its been almost 2 months since I stopped the abilify and I dont know how much longer I can live like this. The doctors want me to up my fluvoxamine intake largely because they dont undersstand that the hell I'm in is likely from abilify. Do I go back on abilify and taper off? I stopped at 0.5 which isnt even a lot. I really cant imagine taking that drug now knowing what it can do to someone. Do I just wait and pray to feel better? Do I go to the hospital? It feelts like I am holding on by a thread. I don't know when it will get better and life is passing me by. Looking forward to hearing from you all. 2002-2022 Fluvoxamine 2018-2022 Cymbalta 2018-2022 Vyvanse 2021-2022 Abilify 2022 Xanax, Klonopin -- Currently (May 2022): Stopped Abilify 0.5mg on 03/15/2022 Fluvoxamine 125mg and Xanax or Klonopin 0.5mg

Hello all. I was directed here by another member who shared a unfortunately similar experience. At this point, I have exhausted many, many attempts to find a psychiatrist or doctor of any kind who understands SSRI withdrawal. (Or doctor at all given the huge waits from Covid, politics, etc.) I can't even find a psychologist at this point despite literally sending out bulk emails. This has been soul-crushing for me because I need help. I'm desperate and afraid. I have things happening to my body that scare me and make me feel like I'm going to die, or worse, that mental health will get so bad it makes me want to die. I feel like I'm going crazy and would really, really appreciate some guidance and advice because I've taken all the traditional paths and they're not getting me anywhere but frustrated. I'll post my timeline but this is the short version: In September I started having severe symptoms from the Luvox I had been taking for a few years for OCD. (100mg, but it has wavered in dosages through the years.) It got so bad the ER told me I have seratonin syndrome, which I to this day don't know is true or not. Around this time, I was also being given hormone replacement and taken off, as well as a bad experience with THC from a CBD gummy my friend gave me and assured me I wouldn't have any reaction. I did, and my anxiety went through the roof. Basically all the side effects from my Luvox were coming out stronger and I was feeling worse, so I decided to get off of them. Because I seem to have more of a medication intolerance and side effects from literally every drug I take, my goal is to get off my meds all together, but open to new possibilities in the short-term. My psychiatrist wanted me to do a 3-4 week taper down from 100mg which...didn't even register because I knew it wasn't going to happen. I had been properly weaned off small doses of benzos last year and did 'ok'-ish-SSRI withdrawal is definitely worse for me. I'm down to 25 mg of Luvox as of today 12/21/2021. I've been at 25mg for about two weeks because I want to be done and Luvox has been causing me severe migraines. The pain and suffering happens when I'm on it or not, and I think I've kindled myself in the past and gotten really bad results. But now I'm at a point where i'm miserable. I had constant fear and panic attacks, derealization, depersonalization, painful and limiting muscle tension where it feels like my muscles and nerves are being ripped, temperature fluctuations, bouts of rage and crying, akathisia/adrenaline dumps (this is the worst and makes me want to die). I mentally feel out of it, like my not myself or connected and feel like I'm constantly drugged or drunk when I'm actually getting off meds. I only got brain zaps once or twice, and my withdrawal doesn't seem completely like a lot of others, which makes me wonder if something else is wrong and scares me. It seems like mine manifests more mentally and in my muscles. I was already struggling and then a few days ago I had trigger point injections where they mixed it with a steroid and it literally spun my life out of control. I felt almost psychotic and sat sobbing in the doctors office, going out of my mind (but still aware of what was going on, talking, etc.) It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had and my enite body was convulsing with the effect of the stimulant and fear. I think this experience, along with the steroid in my system, reset my system to a new "high alert" and the last few dayshave been unbearable and I've wanted to kill myself. I guess I want to know what I should do. Should I grit my teeth and bear down and know this will fade? Will it fade or will I be like this forever? I really don't want to start another SSRI or another drug, or reinstate because the side effects from these meds are only slightly better than the withdrawal and I don't want to create a kindling effect. Please help me. I don't want to die, and even more so, I don't want to lose my mind. I've considered committing myself but I really feel that would be a horrible idea given the facilities, how they treat people, and that they don't understand SSRI withdrawal and the complications. I think I would get drugs shoved down my throat and have to start over. (I went to the crisis center/healthcare here when I started, begging for help, and they dismissed me, saying SSRI withdrawal wasn't that bad and would last a week or so.) As of right now, I've been using super low doses of Xanax (0.125mg, broken up tablets) just to get through. I also occasionally take Maxalt for migraines but it sort of makes everything worse so I'm tryin to avoid it. I tried one tiny dose (8 mg) of Lyrica tonight for the akathisia and I felt like I was so drugged I could barely think straight and all my muscles were twitching//moving, which gave me more anxiety, so that's out. I have severe medication intolerance/sensitivity since being on SSRIS and dealing with extreme anxiety. I also had bypass (same as weight lost reduction but I had it for severe acid reflux) and now any medications hit me fast and hard instead of being disbursed evenly. I've made many phone calls to doctors and surgeons about this and no one is of any help. I just need reassurance and suggestions. Please help me, and thank you. I know this tapering schedule is too fast but I was terrified, told I had serotonin syndrome and no one would help me. I didn't find any resources until later. Timeline (to the best of my ability, there's been so much of it): 1. 100mg Luvox started in 2015. 2. Put on Xanax 1mg as needed in 2018. 3. Put on Pristiq (Began and ended within 3 weeks in 2018) 3. Put on Gabapentin in 2018 4. Put on Lyrica in 2018. 5. Between 2019-2020 I weaned off all meds. I dont recall dates but my benzo reduction took place over a course of 6 months with various other benzos used like valium. This is all a blur. 6. Psychiatrist kept changing my dosage of Luvox, where in 2020 we went up to 300mg and then down to 200, 150, and stayed at 100mg for about a year. 7. 2021, psych had me trying different levels of Luvox 125-150 around my period for PMDD. Didn't go well. 8. Had severe reaction to Luvox and/or withdrawal from going back down. Then started having a severe reaction to Luvox in general so had to wean off. The psychiatrist had me scheduled to be off in 4 weeks due to fear of Serotonin Syndrome but couldn't do that. I still went fairly fast and at different levels for a couple of weeks because I didn't know what I was doing. 9. Up and down dosages the last few weeks in September due to ignorance and lack of doctor availability, and then the rapidness due to trying to figure it out on my own despite my doctor wanting me to go faster. 10. October 3-8: 75mg (played with various doses through the day, splitting them up, etc. No guidance and I know this wasn't good). 11. October 9-18: 50mg 12. October 20-29: 37.5mg 13: October 30-Nov 1: 25mg 14. November 2-November 19: Back to 37.5mg 15. November 20-December 4: 31.25mg 16. December 4-December 21: 25mg What do I do to make this better?

Hi, I'm Sandy. I've been on Luvox for about 3 plus years. I was put on it by my family doctor to help decrease cortisol that I produced in abundance when I was stressed. Cortisol makes my muscles very tight, and in turn causes me to suffer from arrhythmias. I was on 200 mg of Luvox divided into three doses per day, 50 mg at 5 am, 50 mg at 1 pm and 100 mg at 9 pm. My circumstances changed, and I felt that I didn't need the Luvox to help with cortisol control. I started reducing my dosage each week by 25 mg. My last dose was 3 1/2 days ago. I've ordered an Apollo Neuro to reduce the cortisol without medication. I was expecting withdrawal symptoms, but am looking for help in dealing with them. I am feeling dizzy and nauseous. Any tips or suggestions are very welcome. I do have a script for Lorazepam, which I take if my heart starts to act up. Lorazepam is a great muscle relaxer :), but I only take it on as "as needed" basis, which is very infrequently. Thanks, Sandy

Hi, I've yet to do my full signature story, but need to ask this quickly as I'm worried I'm in a time race here. Is it possible I've not been on Mirtazapine long enough to need to do a slow taper? Roughly three and a half weeks on 15 mg - was on 30 for four days last week but cut back down to 15 the last 3 days. Do I move fast now to get off it before it takes hold in my brain or is it too late and best to go slow? Thank you.

Hello everyone! First of all I’m sorry if there will be some errors but english is not my first language. Hope I’ll be good enough explaining myself. I’m a 32 years old guy and my troubles started many years ago, during my teens. When I was 15 i had my first panic attack and my life had really messed up since then. The first psychiatrist i saw immediately prescribed me paroxetine, without telling me that I could start a psychotherapy first. So I started it and after about 15 years I’m still on AD and I feel very miserable. I’ll summarize as best as i can remember my drug’s history in my signature (it’s been long time and my long term memory is not at his best unfortunately…) After so many AD and doctors switches, I’m currently on 100mg fluvoxamine. Psychiatrists made me do so many mistakes during the years that now i really don’t know what symptom is “mine” and what is caused by the medicines. As I said, I initially started paroxetine for panic attack but now I have symptoms way much worst. Everytime i was about to get my AD off (way too fast I realize now) i started to get very sick. Brain and body zips, feeling of anguish (which is not anxiety but something more deep and scary. It’s a never ending meaningless feeling with the fear that life is not going to be good no more. To make it clearer: do you know harry potter’s dementors? It’s like a dementor’s kiss), no appetite, nausea, vertigo, insomnia, depression. The scariest part is that some of these feeling, even though are weaker when I’m on AD, are still present since the first time i felt it. I’m really, really scared. I KNOW that I’m not depressed, like i feel that all the symptoms are not really mine, i can’t explain better. I really want to enjoy life and i feel lot of energy inside me. However, i feel at same time tired and scared. Feel like I’m in trap and i don’t know what to do. Worst sensation is this bubble-feeling: when my anxiety is high I feel like i was in a bubble. Everything is numb, confused. It’s like to be drunk, detached. My fear is that I’m irreparably damaged and that i never can’t be fine. I recently called a centre whose doctors seem aware of AD withdrawal symptoms and after the assessment i will know what to do. In the meantime I’m really scared. When I didn’t know that all my new symptoms were caused by the drugs tapering and i thought it was me (I see a psychotherapist regularly for 10 years. Trust me: my symptoms are not matching and explained with my story) i felt that i had power in some way. If it was some emotional problem - I though - i know that i could do something about it. Now that I’m aware that YEARS of bad AD’s management made me feel like this, I’m totally frightened and the anxiety and obsessive thoughts (“what if it will never end?”, “what if i’m hopeless?”, “what if i’ve been on drugs so many years and now it’s too late?”) make all this even worse. I think I’ve been traumatized since the first time I experienced withdrawal symptoms. Now, everytime I start to feel some symptom that is in some way closed to them, I start to get really scared and those obsessive thoughts fill my mind. I don’t want to experience that days once more. I’m not even sure if a have a question for you. Maybe i just want other people, struggling with this who can understand me, to be close to me. I know this could sound stupid and childish, but is this going to end? Are 15 years on AD too much to have some hope to be ok? Thank you a lot. I mean it.

Hello everyone. I'm glad to have joined the community. I have suffered from depression for many years, most of which I have been on SSRIs. I have tried to go on without them on several occasions without success. This time I have been on venlafaxine for around 1.5 years. Started on 150mg and have gradually come down to 37.5mg. I know very well how it feels to reduce the medication or come off from it. Lately I am trying breathing techniques that induce vagus nerve stimulation and -less frequently- meditation, this seems to help considerably, but I still have not managed to turn it into a strong habit. I am also becoming acquainted with the relationship between the digestive systems, eating habits and mood disorders. I hope to provide my little grain of sand to the community by sharing experiences and thoughts and also learn from different views. Best wishes, Jose

Hi there, I'm new to the forum and wanted to say hi. I've been on Fluvoxamine for 16 years. I've also been on lots of other medication due to a traumatic event that happened a few years ago which caused a lot of stress. So I've been on benzos, migraine blockers, vertigo tablets, other antidepressants / anxiety tablets, etc. However currently I'm only on Fluvoxamine and trying to get off it. I was in hospital for the recent taper and felt okay during it, however since I've gotten out I've had extreme headaches, vertigo, lethargy, sore eyes and irritability. This makes me think the taper was way too quick and am so grateful to find this forum. I was due to go back into hospital this week to taper from 50mg to 0mg however I've decided to cancel that after reading the information on this site. I'll wait for the current side effects to subside before considering any further drop. Very grateful for all the good information here!

Hey all, have been lurking for a couple weeks and am in a pretty rough place as to withdrawals. had recently been on fluvoxamine for a long time, roughly 3 years on and off. Managed to quit around March this year with no discernible side effects. Feeling relatively good, OCD(reason I had been taking drugs) was up and down, but life was good. Family was unaware I had stopped, kept telling them I was taking the dosage even when I wasn’t. One family me ever was insistent that it was the be all end all and that I need to take the medication. To this day I am so angry at the glorification they have it, they are in my opinion a detriment to society. Anyway, after an ocd outburst one night, said family member told me they were not going to leave the house until they had witnessed me take it every night. I was adamant to not take it as I knew how it stifled sexuality and caused numbness. One day just so they would stop nagging me I foolishly took a whole 300 mg dose. As soon as that happened I felt an unease as if I had done something horribly wrong. Fast forward the next couple weeks, had stomach cramps at night, difficulty sleeping, but nothing too bad. Then on August 15, I realised I had completely numb in my penis area, there was no arousal and No libido. The 3 weeks since then have gradually gotten worse. In addition to what I believe is PSSD, I have had this strange unexplainable feeling of discomfort in my upper back, as if it’s impossible to relax. Insomnia has been terrible, literally waking up every 20 minutes or so to the point of waking up 15-20 seperate times a night. Extremely dry body, no relief from taking a shower after waking up. No motivation to do anything except eat and lie in bed. It’s been 5 weeks since that dose, and am thinking of reinstating to a lower dose of fluvoxamine just to counteract some symptoms, but scared of making PSSD even worse. Should I reinstate now and then hold for a bit, I read all the withdrawal and reinstatement info already but would like some personal advice. been to gp, urologist, of course they do not think an antidepressant from one day could have caused all this. please need some help, thanks