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Hello, I was hoping someone could give me some advice about some severe symptoms I've been experiencing since switching from Lexapro to Prozac and back again. Here is my story: Diagnosed with OCD and depression at 18. Prescribed 60 mg Prozac which I eventually manage to reduce to 30 mg. Continue taking this dose of Prozac for about 20 years. At the end of last year Prozac seems to have lost its effectiveness so I speak to my doctor about switching to Lexapro which I've heard has less side effects. As instructed by my doctor I reduce my Prozac dose to 20 mg for two weeks, wait 5 days without medication, and then start on 10 mg Lexapro. Soon after starting Lexapro I develop some very unpleasant side-effects, most notably heart palpitations and tinnitus. I speak with the doctor who tells me not to be concerned because the side effects are caused by "anxiety". Against my better judgment I continue taking the Lexapro for a total of 25 days. At this point the palpitations are so bad I have to stop taking the Lexapro immediately. I wait two days and then reinstate the Prozac at 40 mg. Things seem to be reasonably okay for about 3 weeks before all hell breaks loose. I wake up in the middle of the night with such extreme palpitations and dizziness that I end up in ER. However, the doctors find nothing wrong with my heart, conclude its anxiety and send me home. Two hellish weeks of palpitation induced insomnia and intermittent akathesia follow. During this time I have a number of medical tests but nothing abnormal shows up in the results. The palpitations are worse when I lie down and though they cause some anxiety I am convinced they are not caused by anxiety. It feels like the part of my nervous system responsible for controlling my heart has been physically damaged in some way. When I try to explain this to my psychiatrist and cardiologist they don't understand. The psychiatrist gives me Valium and the cardiologist gives me a beta blocker. None of these seem to make much difference so I'm given some Ambien to help me sleep. I take the Ambien for about 5 nights before I decide I'd rather deal with the insomnia. Eventually I get some kind of sleep, but it is still very fragmented and the palpitations persist. My chest feels really tight as if my heart is being pushed up against my chest bone and the palpitations are worsened by lying down, eating or feeling cold. I lose my appetite and drop from 78 to 69 kgs in weight. I start filming my sleep so that I can show my doctor what happens. The footage shows me suffering from hypnic jerks and muscle twitching. These jerks are accompanied by electric shock like sensations that wake me up. During the day I am still tortured by this uncomfortable feeling in my chest and the ongoing palpitations. It feels like my heart has a mind of its own and has been knocked out of sync with the rest of my body. The tinnitus (a loud, high-pitched ringing) also continues. After 18 years at the same company I have to take sick leave for the first time. I have been off work for a month now and have no idea when I'll be able to go back. I continue to take 30 mg Prozac because I feel things would be even worse without it. During the day I walk because this seems to help with the palpitations. I've started taking Magnesium L Threonate and krill oil supplements. I desperately want my life back.

Hello. I used antidepressants before and quit cold Turkey, as you might see from my history, lexapro. While on them I got visual snow but it was very very mild, and it knocked my IQ points down, at its worst it gave me nocturnal insomnia while I was on it and made me sleep during the day. quitting cold turkey fixed all the problems within 15 days. No withdrawals from that. My problem is, I got floxed 4 months ago due to fluoroquinolone antibiotic usage (ofloxacin). In case you don't know it has the same effects on your brain as benzo/antidepressant/antipsycotic withdrawal. It knocks all the gaba a receptors out of balance, leading to the buildup of excess glutamate and this knocks other receptors out of balance tooi leading to excitotoxicity. I got hit with crippling insomnia. Didn't sleep for ten or so days, took unisom, passiflora etc, nothing worked. I found the floxies forum (Thinking in retrospect this was a mistake), they recommended mirtazapine. Went to the psychiatrist, he perscribed me with it without me mentioning anything about it. So I took it, 15mgs. Didn't work. A few days later took 7.5mgs, it would work... gave me like 6 hours. I noticed mild ringing tinnitus in left ear, didn't tie it to mirtazapine at first because the antibiotics I took gives you tinnitus as well. The T went away in two days. I made my first fatal mistake around this part. Mirt would only work on 3 consecutive nights. On Night 4 I'd have to switch to unisom for 3 nights to get any sleep at all. So I rotated the meds. Over time the left ear and a little bit later the right ear got blocked and hissing came in. Along with tensor tympani syndrome (fluttering in ear drums). It was a 1-2/10 in intensity. Meds would stop working completely on day 42. took atarax which bumped the T to a 7 for 3 hours. Took unisom 7 days later, did the same thing, but worse.. Around this time I was able to sleep on my own, no meds, no night sweats or panic attacks, no nightmares for 18 days. Got 4-5 hours in fragments. I was getting better. Hissing was dying down, ears were getting unblocked. Day 62. I woke up to a ringing 10/10 tinnitus in the middle of my brain, towards the right. After that day my brain got electrified. Don't know if it was due to antibiotics or WD from mirtazapine. Didn't know WD was a thing at that point. Couldn't sleep that night so I took Mirt again. Took it on and off going forward. Over time sleep got worse, started having other CNS symptoms, sweating, night sweats, vivid dreams came back, tension headaches, suicidal thoughts etc. They were GONE for months. Hyperacusis and dysacusis started, hyperacusis was gone in the first month too... After a real long time, like 50 more days later, I was sure mirtazapine was giving me all these issues. Doing some research led me to this site. What happened was there was an electrical storm in my brain for a long time and it was getting worse and worse. Electricty was literally moving inside my brain from one spot to another in the bed. This was very different than brain zaps. No other floxie described their tinnitus like this so I knew mirtazapine gave me that. Went on tinnitus forums only to find others with same issues. Dropped the devil's pills, the electrical sensations are totally gone, I haven't gotten daily fleeting t for one week, sleep is bad but I can sleep better now compared to the time I was on them (funny). But I'm left with a myriad of other issues... -I don't feel tired or sleepy since I quit the pills. -Insomnia (No deep sleep, can't sleep more than 5 hours, always in blocks, sometimes with night sweats and dreams which are lessening day by day since I'm off M) -Tinnitus (I have no hearing loss on left ear and 15db loss in right ear, otherwise my hearing is like a 2 year old baby's, the left side of my brain is buzzing, and inside my left ear has electrical type of buzzing) -Hyperacusis -Dysacusis (Hearing is fine but occasionally I would get an electrical filter over sounds) -Floaters (Started a day after M, but since antibiotics also cause it, never tied it to M) -Some Afterimages when I look at a light source. -Tension headaches/pressure/vibrations in brain/ears. some tingling in head. All in all, I took M on 60 nights over a course of 3.5 months. What am I looking at here in your opinion? My main worry is the ear related stuff, Since I don't have hearing loss and my hair cells are healthy, do you think this buzzing and electrical sensations would go away over time, along with hyperacusis? I don't hear the T outside, it RAMPS UP in silence though. On tinnitus forums, most people with buzzing healed within two years. I need some soothing words guys... this is my main problem and if it goes away, I'd consider myself pretty much recovered even though I have many otehr issues. I can deal with insomnia and other stuff. But still wondering how long it would take for me to be able to regain the ability to take naps.

Hello all, I've been lurking for over 2 years and finally figured out how to post. This website helped me tremendously while tapering off citalopram. It was honestly the most horrifying and devastating thing I have ever gone through. Almost 2 years out and I'm still suffering with insomnia, mood instability, anxiety and agoraphobia. I started tapering Trazodone about 2 months ago and currently my life is a burning hell. I lost most of my support system while withdrawing off of ciralopram (Father, partner, 2 friends, had to give up my dog and was fired from my job) because my symptoms made me insufferable in their eyes so they all just abandoned me to fend for myself even though it's impossible for me to function. I started tapering the Trazodone because it makes me feel like garbage and does nothing for my insomnia. I've been trying to do a 5% taper every 2 weeks but it's difficult as I am dry cutting. Currently I have not slept more than 3-4 hours in 3 days and I had to take the day off of work. The torture I've been experiencing from brain meds has made me question my will to live on many, many occasions. Is there any hope? Is there any point to keep going? I don't see it getting better, my life was destroyed 2 years ago and I never recovered. I can't eat, sleep or go to the bathroom properly. I just don't feel like it's worth the fight anymore. Any advice is greatly appreciated. 2004-2022 Citalopram 20mg - 1 year taper 2014-2022 150-300mg Wellbutrin - Cold turkey Trazodone: 2014-present tapering 10% per month

Hello fellow travelers, I am a recovering user of many psychotropic prescriptions (which I at first thought were good for me). After finally being able to taper off and learning much more, I've revised my thinking a bit: about the drugs, about the doctors, about the medical profession in general and about what I can reasonably be certain is healthy. I've got pretty decent working knowledge of psychotropics now, but still have much to learn. I have read the Ashton Manual, a few scholarly articles by people like Guy Chouinard, and have some experience helping people with withdrawal and post-withdrawal. I also have a bit of an interest in general medicine. Drugs taken include: Remeron, Effexor, Clonazepam, Triazolam, Escitalopram, too much Olanzapine and a few other compounds with varying levels of harm. I am now around two years post-withdrawal of Clonazepam, having begun my odyssey taking amitryptaline for sleep, and am still recovering from extreme insomnia, gastro problems and general fatigue. I can't really say it was worth it, but you live and you learn.

Hello, I've been doing a very slow taper of 10% reduction every month. I started at 10mg Lexapro. Been on it for 10 years. Switched to liquid for an easier tapeer At around 6mg I started experiencing insomnia, the kind where I wake up at 4am and can't fall back asleep. That's gotten worse. I just went down to 4mg. Question: Should I increase my dose and go even slower? Should I take trazadone again? I took it before as needed for sleep. How much should I increase? Side note: The Ketamine therapy has helped tremendously withe my depression but not at all with this insomnia I'm now battling.

Hello, I’m new to this forum, looking for some advice / insight. I had a bad COVID infection back in July of 2023 that created sleep disturbances and neurological symptoms that lead me down the road of psychotropic drugs. 2 short stints with Klonopin (shy of 3 weeks) and Valium (about 3 weeks), both at low doses and eventually Trazodone for insomnia that I’ve been on for 4 months everyday at varying doses but generally 100mg the vast majority of nights. I have been off of benzos since November 21st 2023. While it’s possible I could still be experiencing withdrawal on that end, I’m beginning to become suspicious that my problems are more tied to the nightly use of Trazodone. It’s extremely hard to unpack what is what but ever since I started this medication, I’ve had a rash on my face, have a persistent stuffy nose, feel depressed all the time, and rapid cycle in a very consistent pattern between depression and feeling VERY stimulated, the point of masking the depression and feeling like a “rush” of chemicals is coursing through my brain. On paper it might sound manic, but it’s not euphoric at all. It’s terrifying and it’s usually accompanied by severe anxiety, stiff muscles, joint pain and transient itching, pins and needles all over my body. There’s also the element of stress / trauma being in this state for so long that I’m also having difficulty unpacking how much that is adding to these mood swings. Long story short, I’m starting to think I’m having an adverse reaction / possibly even an allergy to Trazodone. Also, I can fall asleep now without this drug but I still take it for fear of withdrawal. Problem is, I feel so awful on this drug already, I’m starting to wonder if this is a case that warrants immediate discontinuation? I feel like the drug I’ve been dependent on for sleep is poisoning me, daily. So what’s the best path? Keep poisoning myself with a slow taper? Or stop?

Hi there, I am hoping to be able to leverage the wisdom of this community to shed some light into my personal situation and help decide possible courses of action. The only people I can speak to in real life about this are my well-meaning family/friends (who think Doctors have all the answers) and my psychiatrist/doctor/psychologist who only respond with medication-related suggestions. Up until this point I have been relatively ill-informed of the pitfalls of withdrawing from psychiatric drugs and I’ve clearly made some big errors along the way. However, my goal (like many I’m sure) is to be drug-free but of course this isn’t something my psychiatrist supports. I am sorry in advance this is such an essay. [And apologies for all bold - my javascript bold function is broken!] About me: I’m a 30 year old British female living in Amsterdam, with a full-time job in Marketing. Where it all began: Just over 5 years ago, at age 25, I experienced a very intense mania with extreme psychosis and was hospitalised. The psychosis was triggered by a melange of stress, diet, lack of sleep and smoking a joint (which I used to do regularly in my teens and 20s with no ill-effects). In the psychiatric ward I was given Olanzapine at 7.5mg dose and gradually over a few weeks, the psychotic symptoms disappeared, and I was discharged. My doctor gave me the loose diagnosis as either Schizophrenia or Bipolar I, but was leaning towards Bipolar--so that’s what I’ve stuck with (but to be honest I’m not sure if it’s correct). After my discharge, I reduced the Olanzapine from 7mg to 5mg and then to 2.5mg over the next few months, and stopped taking Olanzapine completely since the side effects of weight gain and libido loss were not tolerable (with my Doctor’s blessing). For a few months, all was well, until I started getting insomnia, characterised by heart palpitations, feeling of mini panic attacks when trying to fall asleep (and therefore not being able to drift to sleep), and very poor quality sleep when I did manage to sleep. My psych recommended I try taking Seroquel instead, and started me off on 700mg per night. The (Good) Seroquel Years Over the next 4 years, I led a perfectly normal and healthy life--even moved to a new country and changed my job--taking Seroquel with minimal side effects. I managed to reduce the Seroquel from 700mg down to 100mg over 2-3 years, and was feeling better and better the lower the dose (with much less sedation and grogginess the lower the dose). I also switched to a vegan diet & cut down on booze and partying in this time which also helped a lot! Finally, I went from 100mg to 50mg around May 2017, and still felt no adverse affects (only positive improvements). My only concern was the niggling fear that I had become dependent on the Seroquel for sleep. The Disruption - coming off Seroquel cold turkey and switching to Olanzapine In August 2017, completely out of the blue, I suddenly stopped being able to sleep. What then followed was a few months of terrible broken sleep and heavy reliance on Zopiclone (alternating nights) to be able to keep up appearances at work, do my job and maintain normality. My therapist at the time suggested I increase the dose of Seroquel to counter the insomnia, so in October, I moved back up to 100mg Seroquel (occasionally 150mg). This worked a treat for the insomnia, however I suddenly started experiencing very regular involuntary muscle movements (more than a twitch, less than a jerk, around 2x per minute in all different areas of my body), and became very worried this was Tardive Dyskinesia. My Doctor (I didn’t have a psychiatrist at this point) told me I should stop the Seroquel immediately, since this was a serious side effect. I quickly got referred to a psychiatrist, who put me on Olanzapine 5mg instead. The twitching stopped, the sleep was fine, but I hated being on Olanzapine (heavily sedated/low mood/very withdrawn/binge eating/weight gain etc.). Recent struggles with Olanzapine After 2 months on 5mg Olanzapine and its shi*tty side effects, I halved the dose to 2.5mg and stayed on that for 6 weeks with no WD, but annoyingly only a very light reduction in the side effects. Complaining to my psychiatrist, she suggested I try the antipsychotic Abilify (10mg) instead, and told me to switch directly (a hard stop of Olanzapine!). Abilify does not block histamine receptor like Olanzapine and Seroquel, and it did nothing for my insomnia. My sleep started to deteriorate the second I stopped taking Olanzapine, and as soon as it was fully out of my system my insomnia returned with a vengeance - I was not able to sleep without Zopiclone, and even with Zopiclone I would only get 4 hours sleep then get woken up by loud, piercing tinnitus and moderate anxiety. I managed to live like this for only 10 nights, some nights getting no sleep at all, other nights getting less than 4 hours with Zopiclone. Annoyingly all the Olanzapine side effects stopped and I felt great, except for the crippling insomnia which stopped me functioning. I gave in and reluctantly switched back to Olanzapine, which almost brings us to the present moment. Where I'm at Today Ever since going back on the Olanzapine (2.5mg), my sleep problems haven’t really gone away: I can get off to sleep fine, but keep getting woken up by the piercing tinnitus and ‘high energy’ around 4am; often I can’t get back to sleep. I’ve tried increasing the Olanzapine back up to 5mg and that isn’t helping much. Before anyone goes there, my sleep hygeine is pretty good. I've also stopped drinking alcohol completely and have a regular bedtime of 10pm. Now I am starting to panic that not even Olanzapine can help me live a normal life. I am plagued by the fear that I am dependent on Olanzapine to get any sleep and that beneath it lies an incurable insomnia. Regardless, I cannot fathom living my life long-term on Olanzapine and I need an escape plan to give me hope (even if I’m not ready to come off it yet). Where I could use some guidance: >> I am not sure if a lot of what I am experiencing with regards to the insomnia is related to withdrawal, even though I am still on the Olanzapine - is that possible? OR is it more likely that my insomnia is the beginnings of psychosis/schizophrenia and therefore I need antipsychotics to not be psychotic. >> Clearly, I’ve messed up my system somehow with all the medication switching and dose changes (none of the reductions have been that gradual). Is there a good strategy to get me back on track? >> Has anyone had any luck with undergoing biochemical nutrient therapy to help support their taper? This is something I'm looking into. >> (Not really a question) I just find the prospect of tapering and inevitably re-living through insomnia for a sustained period of time incredibly impossible, especially with a full-time job. I just don’t know how anyone does it... I can barely last a week - and I also have the threat of having another psychosis &hospitalisation being induced by insomnia. I realise my situation is not that extreme at the moment, but I am already losing hope and am in a pretty dark place with depressive thoughts about my prospects. I am not sure how I will manage mentally and physically if things get worse (which I suspect they inevitably will). Thank you in advance for reading this far.

Hello, This site was included in an article about the dangers of antidepressants that was in Dr. Mercola's daily email. I am not or have never been on any antidepressants myself, but have been on a mission to research and find the best way and support for my son to wean off of Remeron. The reason he was put on this med was for chronic insomnia. Prior to being prescribed Remeron he had been taking Nyquil every night for a very long time. Over the years he has tried many natural vitamins and supplements with none of them helping. For about six months the doctor had him on both Remeron and Vistaril at the same time, but for the past month he has just been on Remeron 45mg. Thank you very much for accepting my registration. Cecelia77

Hello, I have been on Lexapro for almost 19 years—only off one year was I was pregnant with my firstborn. After 10 years of being on Lexapro (10mg), after dealing with my mother’s death and a newborn baby, I had developed insomnia and anxiety and was put on Trazodone (100 mg) and then later klonopin .5mg taken as needed. Been taking Trazodone for about 8 years now and klonopin on and off for 5. in January of this year after following my doctor’s advice, I tapered lexapro over the course of 6 weeks. Well, obviously it was too quick and hell broke loose shortly after I March. Along with crippling anxiety, panic, crying spells, body jolts, depression ,depersonalization, etc., my biggest and most prominent symptom has been insomnia. Most of the week I sleep a broken 1-4 hours. If I’m lucky, one night a week I will crash and sleep for 8-9 hours. I take klonopin only twice a week max if I hadn’t slept in days and I’m getting in a really bad place (I know this is not optimal, but I feel I’m out of options.) I must note that I also stopped taking my birth control pills at this time, as well and not sure if lack of hormone are also contributing to insomnia. I had reinstated at 2.5 at the end of March, and thought I was feeling okay but May even though my sleep was still off, so foolishly I dropped to 2.2mg. When this happened, I lost all control and had to go back up to 2.4 after 6 weeks of hell and no signs of stabilization. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve been at 2.4 and my sleep is as bad as ever. I read horror stories about people’s sleep never returning or it taking years. I’ve already been dealing with this for 6 months. I have tried everything from magnesium to melatonin to glycine to weighted blankets and black out curtains—nothing works. Am I doomed to never sleep again? Every area of my life has been affected by this…my marriage, my children, friends, work, etc. I feel like I’m really losing myself and feeling pretty hopeless.

Help. Tapering after 6 years on sertraline. Lots of problems. Insomnia. Tired all day till about 6- 7pm. Feel really unwell at times. Dizzy. Hallucinations. Waves of fear and anxiety. Frightened. Get odd days where l feel itching all over, swollen places on face - like the reaction l get in the sun - no sun. Dry nose and eyes. Reduced very very slowly over years .Going down to 25mg on day a week for 3 weeks the 2 day's a week for 4 weeks. Hell legs burning at night in bed. My body damages by 3 years of steriods- misdiagnosed by local A e in weston s mare. Hell. My body hates medication. Any help support welcome. Have PTSD. I hate this . Burt-

Servadai's Introduction topic Hey guys! Long time no hear - my signature says I'm 3 years off but this year, on 10th of July I 'celebrated' my 5 years off of AD's. I would change my signature but I don't know how - that being said I'm loving what you did with the site. I'm going to try to write this with a bit of humour, because that is my style, so if you find it a bit 'aggressive' please know this was not my intent, and the sole purpose for writing this is because I care about all of you and empathise deeply with all of you. I know how it feels when your brain feels like it's been replaced with a piece of fried chicken (even though I'm afraid that even a fried chicken is an euphemism). My story short - I cold turkeyed 10 mgs of escitalopram (some of you may know it as Lexapro). My life completely changes shortly after and I entered what was an absolute hell for me (seriously, I'm catholic and that's what my version of hell would look like). Thankfully, I am doing a lot better now and I wanted to share a couple of things I learned along the way. I still suffer from anxiety, as I did before WD, it is worse than it was but it's nowhere near WD nightmare. I am not on any kind of medication and the only supplement I use is Omega3. Here are some of the things, and if I remember something later I will edit or write in the comments. DON'T GOOGLE STUFF. For the love of God, don't do it. If you're new here, there is plenty of sound advice in topic named 'Read this first' and in my opinion that is enough. Now when I say don't google stuff I mean don't google every symptom, every emotion, every fear and thought and overanalyse it. I promise you 99.99999 % of everything you feel and experience in WD is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Imagine your brain as a very stressed person trying to find best solutions and having to run the household (your body)... of course it's going to act wacky. It's not worth stressing it out further by reading into stuff and imagining even worse case scenarios. If you want to google kittens, puppies, babies, watch pretty youtube videos or just listen to calming music be my guest. But DON'T👏 GOOGLE 👏 YOUR 👏 SYMPTOMS 👏 TAKE IT SLOW. Your brain is working so fast your body might try to mimic that. I know my body did, and I still do it sometimes, if I'm not aware. I don't know if this happens to you but when I get stressed I breathe fast, brush my teeth fast, eat fast, comb my hair fast... as if someone put a ticking bomb on all of those things. Try to be more aware and when you notice that, take a deep breath, and start over - gently, slowly. Do everything with great care and gentleness. Your body and brain need it. When you show your brain you're not in a rush, brain will take it slowly too. I know it's a problem in WD - it feels like you have an neverending supply of adrenaline - but hey, baby steps. Try do it for 5 minutes a day. INSOMNIA. This bastard made me really mad. Sleep was the only way I could escape the WD nightmare, but it rarely came. I remember trying to fall asleep for hours, just to wake up at 4 or 5 am. not being able to fall asleep again. When I couldn't sleep, naturally, I thought about how I can't sleep. I worried and worried instead of trying to utilise that time. The best advice given to me was - if you can't fall asleep just chill. Your body will find a way to get energy from that too. Imagine you're on a beach, the sound of waves, the hot sand on your feet, warm sun, smell of salt and pine... you get it. Imagine happy (well..happyish) scenarios - I imagined what will I do after the WD is over and how I'll be able to help and understand someone. Try to occupy your thoughts as much as you can as not to fall in to the 'Oh God why can't I sleep' rabbit hole. NEURO-EMOTIONS. Don't run away from them. Don't be afraid of them. Embrace them. Cry. Scream in your pillow. Jump in utter rage. Aggressively punch the mattress. Write it down and rip the paper. Welcome your fears with open arms. Neuro emotions scared me but now I see them as a way of brain restarting itself. Like pushing random buttons to see what works and you just have to deal with it. It opened a very strong traumas for me again that antidepressants and teenage way of life buried so I had to actually face them and go through them. It was horrible, but maybe necessary? WORK OUT. Aggressive workout in the middle of WD hell? Only if you're absolutely comfortable. Otherwise, I don't recommend it. On the other hand, if you want to stay in bed all day, try to fight that urge. Try to walk at least 5 minutes (even in your small apartment, you don't have to go out), do a half a squat, lift your hands, whatever, just try to be at least little bit active. There's tons of studies that show how exercising improves mental health - there's not much to say here. CREATIVITY. At my worst I really couldn't do anything. TV was too stimulating and loud, my biggest achievement was playing Mahjong on my smartphone for 2 minutes. Everything above that and I would get extremely tired. I didn't smile, sleep, eat, I just wanted to die. Luckily, as soon as I got a bit better I've decided to do anything to not think about what I'm going through even if the bliss lasted for a second. I was baking, gardening, drawing, writing... notice how all of this is with hands. Put everything you got into feeling what you're doing with your hands. Even now when I get stressed I look around me for objects and imagine what kind of texture would they be like if I touched them. DP/DR. There are no words in human language to express how much I hated those feelings. I still do. But I've come a long way. Let's say they were at 100%. Now they're at about 50% when I'm really stressed. 20-30% in normal situations, because I still have an anxiety, and it's just a poopy symptom I have to accept. DR is actually what I'm feeling, DP was problematic, but now I can't remember when I truly had it. They don't occupy my life anymore, and I'm not so afraid of them as I was. My best advice about them would be: Don't be afraid. It feels like the world is falling apart but they're just symptoms of mental disorders and WD. They are absolutely harmless. The best you can do for yourself and your brain is to accept those feelings. Say it out loud: DP/DR I accept you. I know you're just symptoms of my brain working overtime and that's okay. I know my brain is trying its best to protect me and I am grateful for that. I accept you. If this post gives just a bit of hope or brings a bit of comfort to anyone - I'm so glad. I remember rereading the same success stories here over and over again when I was at my worst. They were literally ropes I hold on to. I know what you're going to is hard, but please, please, hold on. Living with this honestly means you're the bravest of the brave. Seriously, everyone here on this forum is one heck of a soldier. You don't even know how strong you are. I was pooping my pants when I was getting into college, I was still in WD... and next year I'm going to finish it. So please, hold on, and live day by day. There are probably more things I would write about, my faith being one of the most important things that helped me (and still does). I might write about it if anyone is interested, but I'm sorry I can only write from my religion's (catholic) perspective. So if anyone is interested let me know. I also run an IG page for catholics dealing with anxiety so if you're interested shoot me a message (I don't want to put it here because I think it would be considered a self-promo). I wanted to open that page for a year now - if you read my post, what was a comforting for me was imagining I could help someone some day who is going through the same stuff as I do. So I finally did it and honestly, it is a nice creative outlet. I have no doubt there will be some future gems from this page that were molded by suffering - Gold is purified by fire. **english is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.

Hi Everyone, I got put on quetiapine for 6 weeks after a bad reaction to fluoxetine (basically I shouldn't have even been given it, i wasn't psychotic I just couldn't sleep an was very anxious). I then quit the quetiapine, its now been 5 months. First few weeks i got 0-1 hours of sleep per night, then a little more. Now 5 months out I feel like it's getting worse again, I can fall asleep but I feel like I am genuinely half awake all night. This leads to me wondering how much i even sleep. I bought a watch to track sleep and it says i sleep for 5-6 hours, but i wake up every 10mins or so. This makes sense, I feel like a complete zombie. Has anyone experienced similar from antipsychotics and has your sleep completely recovered?? If so how long did that take? Thanks!!

Hello fellow withdrawers (if that's a word), I'm Bokart and I'm here on a journey to quit my medication of Olanzapine. Down to 7,5 mg at the moment (see my signature). My story short: back in February 2015 I got admitted in psych ward due to psychosis (due to my destroyed sleep because of my night-shift work). There began my involuntary medication of Olanzapine, which pulled me out of a psychosis, so at least it did some good. I was released from the hospital after two weeks of being there. Now, after jojoing with my olanzapine dose (see signature), I'm finally set to quit it for good. I found this community after searching for succesfull withdrawal stories on the internet and found this community to be great, people being helpful and supportive and giving good advice... I know it can get rough when I approach smaller doses so I do know I will need support. And hopefully I can give support too and offer people hope after and during my taper. I know lots of people are in the same boat as me. Why I want to quit? I got no sexuality anymore, my motivation lacks big time, even personal hygiene is suffering because of that. I can't memorize things like before - learning is difficult. I have very little emotions left in me, basically I'm a dumbed down version of myself nowadays with this drug. I have little social skills - which I would badly need because I plan on working with children in school so some situational awareness is needed (I might have to quit my studies due to me making no progress in my studies... due to this drug). No happines, no enjoying things, lethargy and demotivation... About my psychosis, after it was gone I haven't had any symptoms of it returning (like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations), even after trying to quit my drug cold turkey once, which I see as a good sign. Now I don't want to slip into psychosis again so I need to be extra careful with my taper. After I hit 5,625 mg I will go on tapering by feeling, so no reductions until I feel stable enough. My main concern is sleep. I have a prescribed medication of temazepam (a benzodiazepine), which I can use when my insomnia has hit a threshold of needing immediate attention. I'm trying to limit my use of it to every three days to prevent tolerance and dependence (I know benzodiazepine withdrawals can be bad). But the thing is, lack of sleep led me to psychosis once, so it is a big deal to me. I need at least one night on a while to hit at least 4 hours of uniterrupted sleep, which 40 mg of temazepam does. I've tried many other sleep aids such as low to medium dose of quietiapine (no effect), low to medium dose of levomepromazine (didn't help), low dose of doxepine (no effect), even melatonine and l-tryptophan and 5-htp and none of those helped. One thing that helped me though was phenibut combined with temazepam - I slept 13 hours with that combination! So I know I have an emergency brakes on my train now (assuming that combination works again, haven't taken phenibut in 2 months to avoid tolerance and dependency), but I'm planning on limiting the use of this combination to once a month. On this dose of 7,5mg I'm currently having 2-3 hours of good uninterrupted sleep plus 3-4 hours of bad, constantly waking up kind of sleep So, thank you all for being here! And I wish a speedy recovery to those who are withdrawing from their drugs, we are all here together.

Hello everybody, First, I aprpeciate this resource! I started with panic disorder 5 years ago. I was started on Zanax in the hospital, and I am still angry about it, or at least about having zero information about what I was getting myself into. Thankfully I quit after a few months on it. The insomnia was terrible but my sleep recovered to a tolerable pattern after a couple of weeks. I also started Lexapro at 10 mg while I was still taking Zanax. And I started running and exercising three times a day for an hour each. I am still convinced that the exercise made it possible for the panic attacks to completely resolve after a few months. but then I had a new panic attack after months of not having any. My doctor increased my Lexapro dose to 20 mg and stayed there. I have also been getting very good treatment for my C-PTSD/developmental trauma (Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and Internal Family Systems/parts work) and a I am doing much much better. I want to quit Lexapro because I think I no longer need it since my anxiety/panic has resolved, and because it has the side effect of giving me GERD which I also have to manage with medication. And also because my sleep patterns could never recover to a fully normal pattern. I now learned that SSRIs interact with the circadian rhythm, and Lexapro in particular does so negatively. So, I blame my sleep problems on Lexapro. I started using the sleep app RISE, and realized that my circadian rhythm, isn't much of a rythm at all. I feel like I will only get back my normal sleep after quitting Lexapro. All the more reason to get off of it. I am super upset at the doctors for increasing my dose to such a high amount, now that I read that lexapro is so much more potent than other drugs at similar dosages. 20 mg is called "hefty"! a 5 mg increase would have been much more prudent and I am not even a doctor! I started by shaving off a small amount from the 20 mg a few months ago. I used a roughened glass nail file, that I could be very precise and gradual with. I finally reached a 25% reduction, and since I started having insomnia symptoms, I started looking for more information and found this forum. I read some of the posts and just asked my doctor today to switch me to the liquid version, so I can continue a more smooth and precise tapering process. I referred her to this website so she can also benefit from this information. I plan to increase my dosage a little bit again to see if the insomnia resolves and then I will stay there for a couple of months. I also started having stomach pain, and now I wonder if it is caused by the taper. That is hard to tell given my food sensitivities. I have gone back to exercising more again, since it was so helpful a few years ago. I am following the RISE app which makes working with the circadian rhythm very easy. I plan on being very patient with myself otherwise, and this website resource is incredibly encouraging and reassuring. I also take Melatonin for that. What I learned from this website so far that is an eye opener is the 3KIS principle, and is how incredibly important it is to be stable in all aspects of health. I didn't realize that before. So, I will make sure that my exercise and supplement and med schedules as well as sleep (or time in dark and in bed, at least) are totally consistent. Which is hard when sleep is hard to come by, but now I am that much more motivated to actually lean into it with trust and patience. Given that I am struggling with sleep, I wonder about CBD. I have never tried any form of cannabis before. It may be a bad idea to combine a tapering with CBD which is new to my system and it violates the 3KIS principles, but I thought I'd ask to see what experience people have, if any. Thank you all!!

I have been on meds since I was around 18, I am now 33, I have been tapering off all my meds for the last year now, I have managed to get off venlafaxine xr 75mg which I tapered off for around 4 - 6 months, and quetiapine 50mg over the last 12 months, I was on 200mg at one point and also tapered off diazapam 10mg, and also propranolol 10mg, I have been off all meds now for nearly 3 months and have been fine, I have been at the gym most days and eating healthy, I was starting to look good again and becoming myself again, I have not been human while on meds for the last lots of years, I was finally starting to enjoy life and then the last few weeks my sleep has been getting very fractured and I have been waking up very early with extreme brain fog, it feels like my head is going to explode sometimes, now the last 2 nights I have not slept at all and feel like death, I even took 2 melatonin tablets and they did nothing, what on earth is going on? I am worried I have done some serious damage to my brain, I am too worried to go and get checked at the doctors as I could not handle news that I have some brain disease, I have read that meds can cause effects many months after, can anyone give any advice/peace of mind?

Hi everyone, I started to take AD in Jan 2019 further to what was diagnosed as a burn-out. My symptoms were mostly insomnia ahead of anything which was out of a quiet routine. For instance, planning to see a friend or planning a week end with family or friends. It was just too much and that would stress me out and impossible to go to sleep until the event would go away. Had other symptoms like some pains etc... These insomnias had started back in 2016. After putting my life on order (sold my business , sought divorce which went rather peacefully with ex-wife, and a few years of therapy which still continues) in November 2020 started to reduce escitalopram to 5mg from 10mg and that was fine, did not see much difference at all. Had ups and downs but big up from June to july 2021 still on escitalopram 5mg so from August decided to taper every other day. September I was fine so psychatrist advised to switch to 5mg every 3 days. Then september 2 stressors came up, one of which was a crush which was short-lived but nonetheless disturbing. Rollecoaster emotions for 3 weeks and then felt depressed and anxious and felt like something I had not experienced before. Had to end the relationship. Would be curious on what you guys think and whether this is withdrawal symptoms or too much emotions causing these depressing and anxiety symptoms? I am back not to escitalopram 5mg every other day and might increase more before tapering but much slower. Also I still feel emotionally sensitive and still experience insomnia ahead of some event when there is some kind of commitment. I think burn out is very long to overcome and even though I feel my body has recovered somewhat, I am still very vulnerable to emotions. I can still afford not to work (since nov 2020) and rest more but tend to want to do new things everytime I feel better which bottom line is not helping as impairing the healing. Thank you for reading and your thoughts are welcome!

I was on Celexa for 7-8 years, unable to taper successfully until June 2022, when I completely got off after an 8 month taper from 40mg. I survived acute withdrawal, and at some point began taking unisom, Nyquil, and other OTC sleep aids. In November 2022, the sleep aids stopped working. It was so scary. Never in my life had I laid in bed until 4am, only to be able to sleep two hours and not fall back asleep. It was HELL for the next 6 months. I had insomnia, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, was afraid of everybody killing me when walking past on the street, and peoples' faces looked SCARY. I thought I was suffering from PTSD/anxiety. I had no idea it was withdrawal until after I was put back on Zoloft. Immediately, I felt my brain relax. My period came back. I wasn't afraid all the time. But I was still having issues sleeping after 3 weeks on 25mg. So I went up to 50mg for 2 weeks, then 75 for one week. Sexual side effects, binge eating, feeling foggy were too bad of side effects for me to handle, and I realized that I had been in protracted withdrawal from Celexa. I jumped down from the 75mg to 25mg since I hadn't been on long. I slept 7+ hours for 8 days in a row (smoked a few puffs of weed which didn't work until this week) after this jump, and felt AMAZING yesterday with side effects lessening and having slept more than I had in 6 months. But then last night I only slept 3 hours. I am so afraid. I don't know whether to go back up to 50mg and taper from there, or just let the 25mg stabilize and then do the 10%/month taper. My prescriber doesn't believe in any of this, so she is no help. Also, how long did your withdrawal insomnia last? How do I sleep??? Nothing helps

Hello All! My father underwent a colon surgery on October 11 2022 (About 7.5 months now in May 2023). There were a few follow-up medications that were given to him. Gradually, the doctor kept reducing the medicines on every routine visit, until we were only on: 1- a syrup called Cremaffin Plus (Sodium Picosulfate (3.33mg) + Liquid Paraffin (1.25ml) + Milk Of Magnesia (3.75ml)) 2- Esofag-D Capsule (Domperidone (30mg) + Esomeprazole (40mg)) In February (after about 3.5-4 months of surgery), my father started to skip the Domperidone+Esomeprazole capsule but kept on with the syrup. Eventually he stopped the capsule somewhere in February. Gradually he also tapered off the Syrup and eventually stopped it with the aid of Haritaki (chebulic myrobalan) powder. Near about March 20 (After about 1 month of stopping the domperidone capsule and about 1 or 2 weeks of stopping the syrup, he started to experience reduced appetite and eventually full loss of it. In the following days, he started to experience Anxiety and then Insomnia set in with "sudden racing of the heart as soon as sleep started to come" but he could not fall sleep due to that. He felt very uncomfortable and had tingling sensation in whole of the body, like gas couldn’t pass out. Constipation started to set in as well and it came to a point that he couldn’t pass any stool. After getting hospitalized twice, getting enemas (with no success), we eventually took discharge from hospital and restarted the syrup. It helped with the stool problem (about 40-50%), heart racing & gas trouble. But my father still cannot fall asleep despite lying down for 15-18 hours. Does not want to eat anything. Anxiety and a bit of depression are still present. We have tried many different gastric medicines but they haven’t helped an inch. I never thought about Domperidone until yesterday and then, after research, this whole new realization dawned upon me, what this “Domperidone-poison” could do to a person. We haven’t tried reintroducing Domperidone yet. Will time be heal my father on it’s own or will we absolutely need to reintroduce Domperidone again and then taper off (10% every month). I am in serious need of help for my father. I will Appreciate your kind inputs!

HI, i am extremely scared and need help. On march 13th I started a panic disorder. It started with 24h of depersonalisation and then more and more anxiety and panic attacks over 2 or 3 weeks that led me to the ER a couple of nights.. I'm 37, always been anxious but nothing that wasn't manageable without medication. I started losing the ability to eat and sleep. I couldn't enter sleep state and had very anxious obsessions/delirium while in pre-sleep phase, like my brain was going mad with crazy over the roof anxious ideas and fantasies. Every time I would quit trying to sleep i felt better and not too anxious but i was absolutely exhausted and needed to sleep. I started to become very worried and anxious, i lost a lot of weight from not eating or sleeping and couldn't do absolutely nothing because of anxiety. Everything seemed terrifying, wathcing series/movies, reading, social media, showering... nothing could give me relief, everything was painful and terrifying. I'm autistic and pretty isolated. I don't have a family to care for me, few friends who desappear when i'm not good...my pshychologist is nice but not very useful during this kind of extreme situations and has halth problems. I thought it was the end of my life and it made me extremely sad because i'm not a suicidal person, i wasn't even depressed. I was just diagnosed a bunch of stuff that would allow me to ask some financial help from the state but didn't have time to ask because i collapsed in the most unexpected way... My psychiatrist suggested i take seroplex (escitalopram) and alprazolam. I have a massive medical phobia and medicines phobia, never had anti depressants before and never wanted to even try them because i am very sensitive to everything and often have weird/bad reactions to certain substance so i hate trying something new. Plus I have anxiety, so... But i was so affraid to die i said ok. He started me on 1mg and told me to add 1mg every three days (it was the drinkable version) until i reach 10mg. He told me it would take several weeks to do me good and would probably make me feel worst at the begining. But i was already at my worst, like i couldn't imagine getting worst than that really, i was really sure i was dying. After a week and no significative improvement (still wasn't sleeping and suffering as hell every night and most days, my chest hurting from the billion crisis per night every time i tried to sleep...) i went to the psychiatric ward, which was, by the way, my biggest phobia. I stayed there for 2 days, some doctors were nice, but older ones said the dosage my psychatrist recommend was stupid and i needed to change either the dose or my meds. I was at 3mg at this time, they put me on 50mg sertraline and gave me a valium. I had adverse reaction to the valium and was in hell until the day after, i had agitation, was all over the place, feeling extremely agitated and angry and aggressive inside and paranoid and scared and nauseous. i had panic attacks all night and been throwing up in the morning. They told me i wasn't cooperating and didn't trust them and should go back home. I did and had my first night of sleep in so long... I was at 4mg escitalopram. They scared me so much by saying this med is totally ineffective under 10mg that i asked my psychiatrist if i could up the dose faster to get some relief. By this time i was unable to take any benzodiazepine and had bad reaction previously to seresta and valium and now even alprazolam so i stopped taking it. He agreed and told me to add 1mg every day. I started to do that. Was able to sleep one night out of two for a few days, started to eat again... It was still mostly horrible everyday but i started to believe i had hope... My dosage from the begining was 1 1 1 2 2 2 3 3 (50mg zoloft) 4 5 7 7 8 9 (each number representing one day of treatement) When I reached 9mg i had the most horrendous violent crisis ever, i was feeling enraged like i wanted to destroy everything and couldn't stand any sound or person around, it was so strong and kept going up and up. I hated it and was terrifyed, never felt that before. I had nausea and couldn't eat anymore again... My psychiatrist said ok to going down and try a stabilization at 5mg. As soon as i started getting down i started to feel better, (not good, just less terrible), more eating, sleeping and moments of hope... But after 3 days at 5mg things started to get very bad. No appetite, nausea, insomnia, anxiety more and more and more... and then the violent agitation crisis came back, sentenses and ideas and bits of songs in high speed in my brain, intrusive thoughts (not that it was totally new but it was stronger and horrible), couldn't stand any sound or light or whatever, i felt pure rage and pain... I told my psychiatrist i had been suffering hell for a month and a half and couldn't take it anymore. I was too scared and not the kind of profile to be able to wait for a whole month to get the good effects while living the worst moment of tjei life every second of everyday. I had lost 10kg and was in severe crisis all of the time, had a full meltdown in his cabinet. He said ok you can stop it if you want, it's a low dose and you've only been taking it a month or so. I said i don't thing it's a good idea to do like that when i see how sensitive i am. He suggested i reduce 1mg every three days. The day after that i was so traumatised i couldn't touch the bottle and take my medicine. I skipped a dose. He told me i could take 3mg the next day and not to worry too much. The day i skipped the dose i felt a lot better at first but then i entered a state of exhaustion i never felt and suddenly lost any will to live or fight, i couldn't even move or try to force myself to eat. It was the same the next day but slowly better... The second day at 3mg was an amazing day, never felt better, i was happy, energetic, singing, eating, full of joy and wonder. The next day not so goo but bearable. The first week at 3mg was wonderfull, the first time i was feeling so good with this med, and feeling myself again. I was SO SURPRISED. The doc said maybe it's my comfort dose. I believed so so i decieded to keep it a little to gain strenght and weel being to face going down again, i even was doubting if i should keep it. One day of the second week i drank my med but left a little drop at the end. The next day i had a terrible evening with the same symptomes like the day i skipped a dose but milder. The day after i took good care to drink aaall the 3mg and started to feel better in the evening. But the next day it went all bad again. I thought ok i made a mistake, i'll wait for stabilization again. It got worst everyday. A lot of anxiety and no eating or sleeping and a rage/agitation crisis all day on one of the days and overall pretty bad, with suicidal thoughts more and more presents and negative thougts all the time bullying me saying horrendous things to me in my head... But i was really hoping to get back to the good week and waited while suffering... everyday...crying, having anxiety, nausea all day everyday, weak legs and arms and hands, shaking....amnesia, unable to use my brain correclty. It's my third week at 3mg, i thought it was slightly progressing the past few days even if it's hard to tell because i'm still very bad.. i hate this medicine and i wish i had never taken it. I cant' take benzos. I can't take tercian or any meds that make the QT longer because i already have a sligtly longer QT due to a heart condition and my cardiologist told me not to take several meds that act on the heart... I need to sleep again, it's driving me crazy, i'm losing all hopes. Tonigt was the worst of my life, everytime i was about to fall asleep i had the most horrendous pre-sleep crisis and my chest and heart hurts everytime and the lask of sleep make me crazy. I have no strenght in my limbs, i only feel pain. Yesterday i felt ahedonia for several hours and it freaked me out. I am scared to go to 2mg but my MG and psychiatrist say they think it will be ok if i do. Should I ? What should i do ?? It's true that everytime i went down it felt like a huge relief so i guess my brain hates the medicine, and my anxious self can't stand the idea of taking something so scary and wants it out... But i'mso scared because i feel like i'm going to die... this night i thought maybe i should write goodbye letters to my loved ones. But i love life !! i've just never been that miserable and in pain in my whole life, and i'm such a sentitive person... autism doesn't help at all here... I'm not going back to the psychiatric ward ever. I wanted to get rid of seroplex and maybe try cyamemazine (tercian) at very low doses to try to sleep while starting a therapy (i am poor and i'm on waiting lists for therapy but won't have appointemnts before months) but i can't mix the two (too scared for my heart) and i'm very scared of trying it, like scared to death actually. I bought doxylamine (donormyl) but scared to try it... I'm terrified of all molecules (meds or supplements actually) What should i do ? I know you're no doctors but my doctors don'y know and my psychiatrist is going one month on holidays, plus he won't let me contact him outside of the very few office hours he has at work every week....

Original title: 6 month Lexapro for sleep/anxiety, tapered on my own, after 3 months off of bliss symptoms are back and HC Hi dear brave people. I've ben lurking the website for a while now, finally decided to ask for opinions, as I am unsure what I am going through right now, nor what I can do to stop my life from sliding down into even worse despair. I apologize in advance for a chaotic post, my mind feels very hazy due to chronic lack of sleep now. I am a 31y old female, have been prescribed Lexapro for issues with sleep due to an array of stressful situations in my life that happened during end of 2020/ first half of 2021: I moved to another country mid-Covid 2020 (best part - it is the country of fjords, mountains, northern lights - and! With one of the highest anxiety rates, Norway) I moved for a job; broke up my then longest relationship, job company then crashed exactly as my first Norwegian winter begun. I come from the South of Europe so the cold and darkness really hit me additionally. By July 2021 I was having progressively worse insomnia due to job situation, with awakenings every few hours, sometimes even after 30minutes of sleep. Only reason I was able to stay in the new country was due to a new relationship, and the fact that my new boyfriend convinced me to move in with him, and really took fantastic care of me. My anxiety was still through the roof, and I finally visited my home country after a full year away from family and friends - and went straight to a psychiatrist. She prescribed escitalopram and clonazepam History of the meds: 24.07.21 got prescribed escitalopram 5mg, clonazepam 0,25x3 01.08. 10mg escitalopram (raised the dose as prescribed), clonazepam per occasion on my own after reading on dangers of addiction 17.08 dropped back to 5mg escit due to anxieties, 24.08 psychiatrist insisted back on 10mg Started tapering on my own somewhere in November/December '21 - as I was feeling really fantastic and thought I had it all figured out now. Additional motivation was that my boyfriend and me started discussing starting a family. My sleep was better than in years, and in parallel I discovered HubermanLab podcast and episodes on sleep, depression and anxieties, and started applying everything I could there. I thought I had control over the situation. So tapering begun, thinking I am doing it slow enough - cutting pills in half - first stayed back on 5mg for a while, then 2.5mg for 3-4 weeks, then 1.25 some weeks with day skipping in the end. Speaking with some friends they confirmed skipping doses worked for them. 01.02.2022 last 1.25mg dose after a 3day interval, hopped off Blissful 3 months begun. I even got engaged mid-April. And then: 05.05 sudden anxiety return, sleep disturbances worsening again, month by month. And month by month I started to feel horrible about more and more of my life spheres 4 months in, now waking up every night between 2:30 and 4am with jolts of anxiety in my stomach, self confidence crushed, my mind feeling useless due to tiredness and stress, various anxieties every day, social anxiety, depression and severe hopelessness. I started even questioning my relationship and engagement and possibility to ever be a parent given my state of mind, which hit me as a final slap across the face and brought the feeling that I am standing on very thin glass, about to shatter at any second - since that was the only stable thing I have in my life. And I depend on him fully now, for both shelter, food, a bit of nurture - which in addition paradoxically deepens the feeling of desperation and ruined my confidence to manage adult life. I am still jobless, I don't feel good in the climate of the new country, my home country is in political problems so it is not exactly appealing to go back now, winter is coming (no GoT joke intended), my expat crisis continued, I have started worrying all my friends and family and feel part of them have distanced themselves from me. Which I understand, but social anxiety then makes me ruminate over all of that regularly on top of joblessness. I also know how much my fiance is suffering, even though he's still placing my struggles as a priority - I feel like I am ruining a life of a really, really good and kind man who didn't deserve this. Main and continuous thought I have is - if only I could sleep more hours, I could at least a little bit better manage this mess. On the days when I sleep more, I definitely feel more clarity and calm, ven though the depression is ongoing. For sleep in the meantime, I shyly tried on random low doses of Ambien, Remeron, sometimes Xanax 0.125 or clonazepam 0.25 per need for sleep or when very anxious. And in the end, finally and recently - I also 2x tried 1.25mg escitalopram dose again, a week apart. First time my mind felt like it was cut of, I couldn't access any deeper thought until tomorrow morning (took it previous morning) - this scared me, but as all the internal chaos continued, I once again thought - maybe I should just get back onto it, stabilize myself, stop worrying my people, figure out how to solve job/country/relationship situation - so I took it again few days ago, but then AGAIN read a few stories here and realized that I might just make a far worse problem for myself in the long run. I am now trying out a mindset that medication is simply not an option. So, finally, main issue and questions are: - all of these symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression are also very much due to the life circumstances mentioned above, so I am unsure if this is a withdrawal, or a relapse, or both? - what on earth could I do to set my sleep better, as that brought me to all of this in the first place? I have tried so many things - meditation, recorded hypnosis sssions, NSDR, a bit of CBT I as well - and I don't want to reach out for benzodiazepines anymore, nor sedatives, nor antidepressants if I can help it. But if only course of action IS going back on medication, I would like to just make that decision finally. It is going to hinder my possibility of starting a family though, and I feel my clock is ticking. My days have become just flows of different types of anxieties - something that I had aptitude for before as well, but I think never like this. I think in parallel I have anhedonia that is growing worse. I make myself go out for a walk every day, try to run as well, I drink my omegas and magnesiums and am trying to meditate. I managed to keep a bit of savings and am trying a DBT/schema therapy. I go to sleep around 22/23 every night. I never thought my 30ies would start like this. I remember the glow I felt in April, and how life seemed orderly, how i had joy and plans for the next 5 years at least, As I am writing my chest is filled with lowkey drone of dread, anxiety is lurking and I feel like there's not a single thing in my life that can make me happy. Thank you for reading, and I apologize once again for erratic thoughts.

I was on various SSRI's off and on (mostly on, as every time I stopped I ended up in the hospital) for the last 25 years, for various diagnoses of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and OCD. This last time, I see now that I tapered way too fast, though under the direction of a Dr., off of 20mg Lexapro over approximately 4 months. But, due to some bad side effects that I experienced while on SSRI's, I am absolutely unwilling to go back on and do a proper taper. The side effects were themselves anxiety-inducing so I don't see them as the "lesser of two evils". My last dose of the Lexapro was about 4 weeks ago. I am suffering from SEVERE anxiety which is causing (I think?) my most distressing symptom - insomnia. I am able to go to sleep at bedtime because I am exhausted, around 10pm, but I will invariably wake up a couple hours later. At that point, my anxiety over not being able to go back to sleep, causes me to (surprise) not be able to go back to sleep. During these long hours my anxiety is so horrible that I consider going to the hospital, which in my logical mind I understand will only make things worse. They will take me in, make me stay for at least 3 days, give me meds I don't want, and this will probably cause me to lose my job. These thoughts go through my mind and cause my anxiety to get even worse. I'll be shaking, sweating, trembling, going to the bathroom repeatedly, basically in no shape to get back to sleep. At this point I feel a surge of adrenaline when I even *think* about sleep, even during the day. I have started taking magnesium glycinate but obviously not with great results yet. Is there any hope for me?

Hello, I have been on paroxetine for 7 years,have tried many times to go off but unsuccessfully. Finally on 7 th year i lowered my dose from 20 mg to 10 mg. After panic attacked and insomnia appeared on my trip few months later I took 20 mg while I was on a trip and lowered it again on 10 mg.Due to some medical conditions that I suspected that are cause of paroxetine,I lowered the dose to 0 in maybe two months,way too fast. I was okeish for about two months ( I had all of the symptoms of wd but I fought with it ) and I compelety crushed this February . Tinitus and never ending insomnia are the worse. I started to Google and found all the posts about some neurological damage From this drug which made my anxiety worse. Doctor gave me lorazepam to sleep. My question is ,should I go back to 10 mg and taper more slowly? Am I in a risk of neurological damage From tapering too fast ? Is this tinitus permanent? How long wd simptoms approximately last ? I see I am in risk of developing tolerance to lorazepam since I have been using it two weeks for sleep. My doctor's don't know anything since one wants to put me on mirtazapine and other on Prozac. I am so worried and feeling alone in all this.

Hello everyone, I’m a 25 year old male from Texas. My journey started January 2016, when I experienced a panic attack (that appeared to come out of the blue) on my way to visit my sister while I was riding a bus. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I felt like I was about to pass out. From that day on, I started to have panic attacks that would last all day for several days. I wasn’t sure what was going on so I asked my mom to take me to the doctor. The doctor said I was having panic attacks and also anxiety. He prescribed me a Mexican medication named Adepsique (I live in a border town and decided to go there since health care is way cheaper there than in the US). I took that medication for around 6 months and started to have suicidal ideation and just felt in a low mood most of the time. I attributed those symptoms to the medication and “tapered” off it fairly quick. Once I was fully off it, I started to have unbearable insomnia/anxiety and wasn’t able to sleep for about two days. I felt like I was going crazy so I asked my mom if she could take me to an actual psychiatrist and she obliged. The psychiatrist prescribed me 10 mg of escitalopram and 2.5 mg of olanzapine. I don’t really feel like it helped that much but I felt better on it. I decided I didn’t want to be on medication for the rest of my life so I decided to start tapering it off. I might’ve tapered too quickly off it but I was just anxious to get off those medications. I don’t really remember how long the taper lasted but I was off both medications by the last week of April 2018. I dealt with several withdrawal symptoms such as suicidal thoughts, anxiety, mild motion sickness, insomnia, irritably, aggression and intrusive thoughts. That lasted most of 2018. Around October of that year, I started dealing with IBS-like symptoms such as stomach pain, frequent gas, constant bowel movements and urgent bowel movements. Most of my other withdrawal symptoms have been reduced but I’m still stuck with the IBS issues to this day. Although I’ve been suffering for these last couple of years, I’ve felt like I’ve grown a lot as a person. I have changed my diet to a whole-foods plant based diet, I exercise daily, and do things I wouldn’t have thought I would do when I was younger. Sorry if this post is too long.

Hello thank you for allowing me to join. I’ve been polydruged for more than 25 years for depression, anxiety, insomnia after my companion was killed. Instead of allowing me to mourn properly they just kept throwing drugs at me. I have been able to taper stop most medication’s, but unsuccessful stopping benzos. After 30+ years on benzodiazepines began tapering and started having grand-mal seizures. If I go below 1 mg of KLO I become bedridden catatonic and have seizures. Prescriber says I need to be on benzos for life -new doctor says BS. I need to come off because they’re linked to dementia. I’m now experiencing tolerance withdrawals and severe memory problems;senior citizen. I have tried liquid and dry micro, tapering unsuccessfully of benzos. I have the Ashton manual, but have trouble converting to V AL .Thank you for your time.

Hi All, I am struggling quite a bit with Mirtazapine withdrawal and would greatly appreciate any advice on next steps. My situation is somewhat unique as I also have circadian rhythm issues which I manage with Melatonin & a strict sleep schedule. I believe the interaction with these circadian issues and my withdrawal is compounding my issues which I will explain later in the post. For some background though, I have been on Mirtazapine 45mg for 1.5 years for anxiety & a bout of insomnia. I attempted to taper off the drug last year whereby I dropped from 45mg to 0mg over the course of about 4.5 months. Unfortunately this attempt failed once I hit 0mg as I started experiencing intense withdrawal symptoms which were not showing signs of improvement 5 weeks in. This only occurred on the final taper from 3.75mg to 0mg, I did experience withdrawal symptoms on prior tapers but these were manageable. I reinstated at a dose of 5.5mg - which I understand is higher than necessary but at the time I did not have this knowledge. Within the first night of taking 5.5mg, my withdrawal symptoms markedly improved and by the second night I was 100% back to normal. My plan following this attempt was to taper off the 5.5mg much slower. However, during my Christmas holidays from work, I generally give myself a break from melatonin and my strict sleep schedule and let my body sleep when it wants for a while. I have done this previously when I was on 45mg Mirtazapine and faced no issues. However, in the most recent Christmas break (Dec 2022) I started experiencing issues whereby changing the timing of the Mirtazapine was causing my sleep to become quite erratic and I also started having quite short sleep duration. I know Mirtazapine acts differently in lower doses and can be more sedating, but I was not expecting such severe impacts so I was quite confused. My doctor also did not know what was going on and the advice I was given was to stop Mirtazapine completely, which I did. As expected, I started experiencing the withdrawal insomnia again. It was at its worst at day 7 after discontinuing but surprisingly by day 10 it started to improve slightly. At this time I was still on holidays from work so I was allowing my body to sleep whenever it wanted. However, I am now 3 weeks post discontinuation and will have to return to work so I have resumed taking melatonin and trying to stick to a sleep schedule 3 days ago. Unfortunately, doing this has caused my sleep to return back to day 7 levels. My gut feeling is that the melatonin is causing these withdrawal issues to become worse. I have experienced similar issues in the past when I take melatonin but do not keep a strict schedule. This is sort of the case now as due to the withdrawal effects, I am waking up in the middle of the night at random times and am unable to return to sleep. This is quite distressing for me as melatonin is very beneficial in managing my circadian issues which is also necessary for proper sleep but it seems I may not be able to continue taking it. It also makes me wonder if the reason I did not experience any improvements in insomnia during the first time I withdrew Mirtazapine is because I had continued taking Melatonin. At the time I did not recognise this could be the cause. As I see, it I have 3 options now, all of which I do have some concerns with: Reinstate Mirtazapine. This did work during my first withdrawal attempt so perhaps will work again. I could try and reinstate at a lower dose this time e.g. 1.8mg or alternatively for the first night I can take a higher dose e.g. 4.5mg to verify that this will work (the 5.5mg dose showed instant improvement within the first night during my first withdrawal attempt) and then subsequently lower the dose. My concerns with this are: My current situation is a bit different to my first withdrawal attempt as I have not had a consistent sleep schedule for the past few weeks. This makes it difficult to know when to time the Mirtazapine and given changes Mirtazapine timing was causing me issues during my Christmas break, I am afraid this will happen again. I guess if this does happen I can always stop the Mirtazapine, but I am afraid this will perpetuate my symptoms and also invalidate reinstatement as a future option. I am afraid if my dose is too low or something is off with the Mirtazapine timing, that I may only receive partial resolution of withdrawal symptoms but at the cost of my body once again becoming reliant on Mirtazapine. This would undo all the progress I have currently made in withdrawing and extend the duration of my withdrawal symptoms. I am still a bit confused as to why my withdrawal symptoms only became so severe after dropping from 3.75mg to 0mg, but not during any of my tapers from 45mg to 3.75mg. Given this is not clear and I do not know what will happen as I slowly taper off again at these lower doses, I am a bit hesitant to get back on the drug. Stop Melatonin and attempt to stick to a sleep schedule without it. I have been able to do this in the past but I get around 1.5-2 hours less sleep per night which might be difficult considering I am already sleep deprived. I am also concerned it may be more difficult to stick to a schedule in general as my sleep seems to be different in this withdrawal period. Continue with just Melatonin for a few more days to observe changes. I am afraid of missing my reinstatement window if I do this. I would really appreciate any advice on what option would be my best choice, or if there are other options I may have missed. I have to return to work tomorrow and I am unsure whether I will be able to function adequately. I am also quite anxious around having permanently lost my ability to sleep properly or permanently lost my ability to use melatonin to manage my circadian rhythm which would be devastating. I am hoping these are just irrational thoughts and that my sleep will return to how it was before Mirtazapine, but at the moment it feels like I will never be able to get off this drug. Thanks in advance for your time and any input you may have!