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Escitalopram tapering, i think i am dealing with withdrawal? I could use some help/ advice Hi ! i'm new here. I'm in the process of tapering. Until now I tapered down based on instructions of my doc. I really have the feeling they underestimate impact it has on people. It has been more than 3 weeks since the last drop to 5mg. I'm still dealing with: Physical: * problems with my stomach and intestines. I had diarrhea and then constipation for several days and now diarrhea again. Nausea is significantly reduced but still have bouts of nausea * Tinnitus much worse than usual * Headaches from time to time but seems to get less * a feeling in my head like my brain is too small for my head. * a very weird dizzy feeling in my head like you're on a boat. Sometimes I'm literally going back and forth a bit. This seems to be getting less * sometimes very dizzy standing up after picking something of the floor * night sweating, this seems to get better Mental: * I have a kind of constant feeling of dread / doom. I really feel it in my head and not my body and it is without any reason (hard to explain). * Overall feeling of bleeehhh. * more anxiety * I feel somewhat more depressed. * Can't concentrate * it's harder to deal with stressful situations * my memory seems to be worse. The weird thing also is 2 weeks after the drop I had some good days (3 or 4) and both mental and physical symptoms where better but then the symptoms came back with vengeance and i am in a bad way since. Are these from withdrawal .....since the last drop is already more than 3 weeks ago?? My plan is to see how i feel on 5mg for a good while and than taper down to 0. I would really appreciate some feedback if the symptoms i feel could be withdrawal and some advice on how long to stay on 5mg and the future taper to 0. Thanks !!

Hi I was prescribed Paroxetine and Lexapro for over 10 years for my depression and anxiety. Tbh I was prescribed an array of medications by my first doctor who seemed hell bent on throwing them at me like tic tacs. After still having suicidal idealtion, endless crying spells, depression and anxiety another medication was added to the growing list...Zoloft. I had a severe reaction and had to stop it in a day. It traumatised me so much, I didn't resume my Lexapro medication. I went on with my life and for the first month I was fine and didn't really notice the absence of Lexapro in my life. But then I was struck down with anxiety and depression and tried to go back on my 5mg of Lexapro but got an allergic reaction from being off them for a month. I have been put on St. John's Wort and I'm trying to hold on but I'm losing all hope as I see my life collapse before my eyes. I'm physically getting worse and feel so physically weak and nauseated. I have brain zaps and tingles. I can't eat or exercise and feel that my life is over. It's absolutely terrifying. I fear becoming homeless because I need a job and money for essentials. I miss the person I used to be and never felt so alone in my life. There's no one that seems to understand and no support network in Australia. I know I didn't taper slowly enough and it would of been wise to do it slower. But unfortunately I tried to restart using Lexapro and had severe allergic reactions. We also don't have it in liquid form in Australia for a 10 percent tapering reduction. I now live all alone with no partner or support network. I'm 49 years old and feel that my life is over. Living with no hope, physical and mental symptoms, suicidal idealation, loneliness and despair coupled with financial stress makes me feel as though I just can't make it through this. I'm starting to lose all hope.

Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!

Hi I am currently on lexapro and olanzapine. The olanzapine was used to augment my ssri. I've been feeling flat for a while now. I am not sure if it is the depression or the medication. I am somewhat stable (albeit perhaps lower/flatter mood than most) but am considering waiting a month or longer to check if I am stable enough to start tapering. I have read a lot of stuff here and the tips to taper olanzapine (which I will do first) and will do it liquid based and perhaps 5% of current dose every two weeks and speed up if things are ok, and see if anything improves. May lessen lexapro after a break after tapering olanzapine perhaps or see how I feel post taper of olanzapine. I feel right now it is a big balance of becoming more stable/healthy before tapering as well weighing it up against the side effects of the medication (some cognitive/memory decline and fatty liver/high cholesterol). I guess if things don't go well I can reinstate the olanzapine so that's a possibility. I just worry I don't have the motivation each day to measure the dosages but once I start it probably won't be a big deal I hope. If anyone has any tips or insights I appreciate them? I'll keep posting on my journey once I start it. Thanks.

I took Lexapro 20 mg last year for the first time ever for situational depression and it helped. But in June 2023 I missed 3+ doses and immediately withdrawal set in. As I wanted to just get off this, at the recommendation of my psychiatrist I jumped down to 10 mg to start the taper. Terrible OCD thoughts set in and in desperation I jumped to 20, then stupidly 30, but things just got worse. I have finally landed at 10 mg and have been holding until I stabilize, 10 weeks now, as my central nervous system was very much destabilized by all of this switching doses rapidly. I had akathisia, serotonin overload, jerking of my arms and legs, hypersensitive hearing and blurry vision for about 2 weeks each. At this dose over the last 10 weeks, though, all of that has improved and stopped, which leads me to believe that I am doing the right thing by just trying to stabilize. The intrusive thoughts have been the worst part that just won't quit, and the constant shameful thoughts, me wondering "What have I done wrong, will this ever get better, will I ever be myself again?" are constant. I look for counsel from other members here who have gone through a similar thing and asking for affirmation that I am doing the right thing by holding. Tapering off is my absolute goal, but I have read enough here that I understand I need to not even begin to think about that until I have been stabilized for a good while. Thankfully, I have a very supportive family in all of this. Any comments and advice are appreciated.

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

Hi All - this is my first post and hoping to find some words of encouragement. I recently started taking Lexapro this March and experienced the typical onboarding symptoms for the first couple weeks. Starting in the 3rd week, I felt the constant urge to urinate despite just going. I felt the sensation 24/7 and could barely sleep. I've never experienced anything like this before and I assumed it must have been from the Lexapro. I went to a urologist who tested for a UTI, Enlarged Prostate, and Urinary retention. All tests came back normal. After doing some research on this site I'm beginning to get really worried that the meds caused permanent damage. My anxiety has skyrocketed because of this and I feel like I'm experiencing depression for the first time in my life with hopeless feelings. My wife is pregnant with our first baby that is due in August and I feel like I ruined my life taking these drugs for too long. Has anyone experienced similar symptoms and got better? I stopped taking the Lexapro 2 weeks ago but the symptoms still persist. Any feedback or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. I've been on and off different antidepressants for the last 4 years for Generalized and Health anxiety. - Zoloft January 2021 until October 2021 (up to 150 mg) - Venlafaxine February 2022 - November 2022 - Venlafaxine March 2023 - January 2021 - Lexapro March 9th 2024 - April 9th 2024

Hello I'm attempting to get off psychiatric drugs. I do not believe that I was mentally ill, but that I was deeply affected emotionally by trauma. I first got put on psych drugs after the birth of my first son, who was born with health issues. The psychiatrist put me on Paxil, and then Trazodone because I couldn't sleep. Fortunately that doctor took me off the drugs less than a year later. I didn't have any major issues coming off these drugs. Due to lots of stress factors in my life, I had anxiety. I was put on Serzone for a few years, then got off this without major problems. When I got pregnant with my 2nd child, my husband freaked out, because he was afraid this baby would also have health problems. I saw a psychiatrist, and he, with my OB/GYN's permission, put me on Paxil when I was 5.5 months pregnant with my 2nd child. He was born perfectly healthy. The Paxil caused me to gain lots of weight. I was up to 215 pounds. So my primary care doc switched me to Lexapro, thinking it would be more weight neutral. I was also put on Trazodone because of Insomnia. I tried several times in the past to get off these drugs, but each time, I had trouble with severe insomnia. I would call the doctor, and he would say I needed to go back on the drugs, so I did. Finally, I decided that I was definitely going to get off the drugs. I came to realize that these doctors don't know what they are doing. When I asked my psychiatrist why I was having such severe insomnia when trying to get off, he said to me "I don't know. Go back on it". (shaking my head). I started to wean off Lexapro 16 months ago, but 4 months into that my mother became severely ill, and so I went back to 1/2 of my original dose, which was 5 mg. I stayed on the 5 mg for about 9 months. Then, I started to wean off of it again. This was back in August of 2018. I've been very gradually coming off it. I'm on the liquid now, and have been dropping the dose by 0.5 milligrams each month. I did manage to wean off the Trazodone a year ago, while I was still on the 5 mg of Lexapro. The other thing that is complicating this withdrawal is that I'm menopausal and in my upper 50's. When I haven't changed the dose of Lexapro I don't have the hot flashes, but every time I reduce the lexapro the hot flashes return. I don't want to put off getting off of this toxic chemical. I don't think there will ever be a perfect time to get off these drugs. I'm so so close to being off of it. In the past 3 days, the hot flashes have been especially bad, and I've had little sleep because of that, and probably also because of being agitated by my drug withdrawal. The issues I'm having recently are: insomnia, agitation, anxiety off and on, tiredness and fatigue. The insomnia is the worst, but the hot flashes are contributing significantly to the insomnia. Any help or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I'm doing many things to learn to cope. I'm reading books on how to cope with stress and anxiety and depression. I'm walking daily, eating healthy, cultivating healthy friendships, and best of all, cultivating a strong and deep spiritual life with prayer and bible reading.

Hello. New here. I started Lexapro towards the end of June 2023. I was on 2.5 mg for two weeks. 5 for two weeks. 7.5 for two weeks and 10 for 6 weeks before I started tapering off. I tapered off under doctors recs. I didn't know any better. While I was on the drug I had this awful heavy body feeling and muscle tension. Whenever I would go up the next dose I would have hyperreflexia and my joints would just twitch at night while trying to fall asleep. I've been off 3 and a half months. The first 3 weeks I was about getting back to normal. I went and got botox one day, and I don't know if it was the botox or if it would have happened anyway but i fell hard into withdrawl. Oddly on the meds and on my bad days, I notice my joints don't crack like they normally do. It's weird. My blood pressure for three weeks in December was insane. It would go into the high 40s and then shoot up into the 70s. That seems to be stable now. Still dealing with the heavy body feeling. Loss of sensation. Muscle tension and sometimes twitching. I had a few day window last week, where I felt almost 100 percent back to normal. My dry eyes are killing me. Followed by today where I don't have much sensation on my arms or hands. My head feels 200 lbs. And I have extreme muscle tension in the back of my head. Are there even muscles there? How can that even hurt so bad. The cervical spine area seems to be the worst. I went to PT to try and help, but I don't think it did anything. I see people that never recover and I just worry I will hit a wave and never come out.

Hi all. I have been on 20mg of Lexapro since 2021 for extreme physical anxiety symptoms. I could not sleep. The Lexapro helped me significantly and I experienced no effects except when upping my dose. However, everything changed March 2024. I have been suffering stomach bloating and other related issues since the falls, so I decided to try a probiotic. After a few days, the probiotic seemed to be helping, but then I suddenly had an adverse reaction to Lexapro and am unsure if it is related or not. Because of this I got worried and only began taking 15mg for the next two weeks but experienced the same symptoms: increased heart rate, headache, nausea, muscle spasms, leg twitching, emotional bluntness, inability to be sexually aroused, chills, etc. My doctor wanted me to cross-taper to Zoloft, starting at 25mg while dropping down to 10mg on the Lexapro. I took them together for two nights in a row and had horrible symptoms, like those listed above but my hands and legs were shaking badly and my teeth were chattering. This obviously concerned me so I stopped taking the Zoloft completely and was only on 10mg of Lexapro for a few days until one day I felt horribly numb, like I got crippling depression overnight. I felt so unhappy and suicidal, I decided to try the Zoloft again to stabilize me. So, for three days I took 25mg of Zoloft in the morning and 10mg of Lexapro at night. My symptoms were not as bad as they were when I took them together, but I still suffered reactions to both of them. Last night, I took 25mg of hydroxyzine which I have been taking for the last week to help me sleep due to insomnia and anxiety surrounding my symptoms. I had the same reaction as I usually do when I take Zoloft or Lexapro, and I read that hydroxyzine can influence serotonin, so this concerned me. Because I had a reaction from the hydroxyzine, I wanted to be cautious and skip my dose of Lexapro for risk of further toxicity. Today, I feel horrible. I am super nauseous, have had some chills, and have a very intense headache like pressure in my face. I am lost.. Should I reinstate the Lexapro at the lowest tolerable dose for me and try to stabilize from there? I don't know what to do anymore, if I am suffering from adverse reactions plus withdrawal. I am so scared of beginning this journey because it seems like it will be a long road of unknowns and suffering.

Hello, short time lurker, first time poster. 👋 I am currently tapering off (liquid) Lexapro and recently hit a brick wall. My fault though, I made the mistake of not holding my drops long enough so I can stabilize. ..aaaand holy wave. It hit me hard. Symptoms? Here we go: Hard time controlling my thoughts, feeling like I’m going insane, waking up with complete dread that lasts almost all day, existential thoughts, crying spells (mostly from all the mental agony I’ve dealt with all day that ends in a breakdown), dizziness, loss of appetite, high heart rate, palpitations, DP/DR, super low tolerance to stress, anhedonia, agoraphobia, intense “adrenaline like” mood drops and probably a few others I can’t think of because, hey, brain fog and cognitive dysfunction too 😫 I ended up reinstating my dose back from 2.6mg to 2.8mg. I have work and kids I have to worry about and I was becoming tied to my bed, not functioning. Like many of you, we find ourselves scrolling on the interwebs for hours trying to find answers and moments of relief. I have to say, I’m grateful for this site and the abundance of information and support. When I’m feeling overwhelmed and stuck (which I’m almost positive those who are reading this have felt), I hop on and read success stories. Many of these posts put the words to the feelings I have never been able to describe. As of right now, I’m trying to take it easy and relax because life has been a series of just simply “existing” lately. Sending all the hugs to whoever is reading this and struggling lately. This, too, shall pass. 🤍

Hello everybody. I was on lexapro 20mg for 20 months due to a high stress situation. after months of therapy for stress management I decided to come off lexapro as I felt I had dealt with the issues. Both my therapist and doctor came up with a 6 week taper method . I am now 6 1/2 months off and I am suffering dearly with severe anxiety , fear , depression , and a very odd depersonalized state , plus other symptoms. I know now I tapered way too fast and I am very much past the window for reinstatement. I've had to quit work and can barely function at all. I have noticed that everyday seems like it's getting worse. I used to get windows that were half of a day long , but those have stopped two weeks ago. I'm looking for hope and encouragement as I have a little girl who needs her daddy to be alive. I fear that I'm going to die or become severely disabled for EVER. I'm trying to accept that this will take a very long time to heal from , but I am very very scared that I'll never be the same. I don't take any other drugs , but I do use an ecig with only 1 mg of nicotine. which is about 5% of a regular cigarette. Is it normal to get worse after 6 months off ? Will it get even more worse later ? Does it reach a peak and then get better ? I am very grateful for this site. I only wish I found it before I chose to come off.

Hi. I started lexapro about 2 years ago, 2.5 mg ev day then went to ev other day for awhile. About a wk after stopping recently I had bad insomnia, so I started back & am trying to go more slowly. Is that even possible? Should I ask for the liquid? Also, any natural supplements that help? More info: I took it during college for about 1 yr, 10mg, and never had trouble with withdrawal (tapered slowly). I started this time at 2.5mg, had fatigue & nausea for 1 wk then it went away. I tried going up to 5 mg, but had weakness & tremors which scared me, so I just stayed at a quarter pill. It made a huge difference to my mood (for the better, no more depression, less anxiety & being bothered by little things). I guess I’m just super sensitive. After several months my fatigue got bad, so I went to every other day, mood stayed stable, energy was better. I think it’s causing fatigue again, as well as holding onto extra weight, so I decided to go to every 3rd day. I did have some breakthrough symptoms on those 3rd days. When that stopped, I figured I can’t go much lower, so I just stopped. My energy got so much better, I felt even slightly manic (which I NEVER have in my life! Lol) But I week later I stopped sleeping, like having to take xanax to sleep stopped (which is the wrong direction I want to go!) We have a couple trips coming up, so I went back on. I’m literally taking an 8th of a pill every other day now. Sleeping fine, but having other weird symptoms like brain fog, irritability, headaches. Plan is to stay on this dose through April, then what?? If I’m such a low dose, the insomnia shouldn’t last too long, right? We have nothing planned June-middle of Aug when kids’ school starts; will that be long enough?

Hi everyone. I’m so happy to have found this website. I’m not an English native speaker, but will try to share my story. I have been on Lexapro for around 4 years now, and since Januari of this year I have tapered my dose from 7,5mg to 1mg. It was prescribed to me for chronic depression, and I’ve been seeing psychologists for most of my life. Since end of last year I’m doing better due to some events in my live and having found a more holistic approach and tools to battle my mental issues. This helped me make the decision to try tapering the Lexapro again. I have very limited medical support with this process. My GP prescribed me the drug at the time, but it became clear quite soon that they had no idea about the side effects. Also, one other psychiatrist told me that if I was unhappy about Lexapro, I should try another drug. I refuse to do so, because I’m so tired of being on these drugs. I lost faith in modern day psychiatry. I am looking into the tips on tapering after reducing the dose to 1 mg. For now I plan to reduce to 0,9 mg by diluting the drop of Lexapro liquid in water. Hope to be able to share experiences with users here, as this seems the only place where I can get help. Thank you.

Hello, I was hoping someone could give me some advice about some severe symptoms I've been experiencing since switching from Lexapro to Prozac and back again. Here is my story: Diagnosed with OCD and depression at 18. Prescribed 60 mg Prozac which I eventually manage to reduce to 30 mg. Continue taking this dose of Prozac for about 20 years. At the end of last year Prozac seems to have lost its effectiveness so I speak to my doctor about switching to Lexapro which I've heard has less side effects. As instructed by my doctor I reduce my Prozac dose to 20 mg for two weeks, wait 5 days without medication, and then start on 10 mg Lexapro. Soon after starting Lexapro I develop some very unpleasant side-effects, most notably heart palpitations and tinnitus. I speak with the doctor who tells me not to be concerned because the side effects are caused by "anxiety". Against my better judgment I continue taking the Lexapro for a total of 25 days. At this point the palpitations are so bad I have to stop taking the Lexapro immediately. I wait two days and then reinstate the Prozac at 40 mg. Things seem to be reasonably okay for about 3 weeks before all hell breaks loose. I wake up in the middle of the night with such extreme palpitations and dizziness that I end up in ER. However, the doctors find nothing wrong with my heart, conclude its anxiety and send me home. Two hellish weeks of palpitation induced insomnia and intermittent akathesia follow. During this time I have a number of medical tests but nothing abnormal shows up in the results. The palpitations are worse when I lie down and though they cause some anxiety I am convinced they are not caused by anxiety. It feels like the part of my nervous system responsible for controlling my heart has been physically damaged in some way. When I try to explain this to my psychiatrist and cardiologist they don't understand. The psychiatrist gives me Valium and the cardiologist gives me a beta blocker. None of these seem to make much difference so I'm given some Ambien to help me sleep. I take the Ambien for about 5 nights before I decide I'd rather deal with the insomnia. Eventually I get some kind of sleep, but it is still very fragmented and the palpitations persist. My chest feels really tight as if my heart is being pushed up against my chest bone and the palpitations are worsened by lying down, eating or feeling cold. I lose my appetite and drop from 78 to 69 kgs in weight. I start filming my sleep so that I can show my doctor what happens. The footage shows me suffering from hypnic jerks and muscle twitching. These jerks are accompanied by electric shock like sensations that wake me up. During the day I am still tortured by this uncomfortable feeling in my chest and the ongoing palpitations. It feels like my heart has a mind of its own and has been knocked out of sync with the rest of my body. The tinnitus (a loud, high-pitched ringing) also continues. After 18 years at the same company I have to take sick leave for the first time. I have been off work for a month now and have no idea when I'll be able to go back. I continue to take 30 mg Prozac because I feel things would be even worse without it. During the day I walk because this seems to help with the palpitations. I've started taking Magnesium L Threonate and krill oil supplements. I desperately want my life back.

Hello All, it's been a long time since I have logged in here and posted. My story is located here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7761-%E2%98%BC-aeroman-hello-from-aeroman/?st=0 I have been good, fully recovered from Lexapro and Cipro use. I don't think about withdrawal anymore. The answer was TIME and GOD in both cases. For those that are new to withdrawal, don't fret, you will be OK. I know the beginning months are scary but it won't last forever. Feel free to ask me questions as I am sure you will have many..especially doubts within yourself. Aeroman

Dear all, Thank you for having me here. I have a lot to tell and ask, but I will start with a brief introduction about my current needs and I will edit later with all the necessary details about my past and my journey until now. I've been taking Lexapro 10mg for 8 years roughly. In late September/early October, I've been hospitalized with SI and during my 5-day stay there, they have changed my meds a lot (see my signature below). The first day following my first night there, dysautonomia/POTS symptoms began to appear (POTS, diminished respiratory arrythmia, complete insomnia and many many more). Out of the hospital, my parents' GP continued my Lexapro 10mg prescription and added Zopiclone/Zolpidem for sleep (which only gave me 2 to 6 hours of poor sleep at best). He gave me Oxazepam 25mg or 50mg to use at will. I've seen another psychiatrist later who changed my Lexapro 10mg to Cymbalta 60mg (with a week in between with 5mg Lexapro and 30mg Cymbalta). He changed the BZ for Diazepam (25mg a day to 40mg - I only use 5mg to 10mg) and Z-drugs for Alimemazine (2,5mg 1 or 2 hours before bed). I'm know 8 weeks since the drastic change of my meds in late September and other changes in between as you have seen. My dysautonomia symptoms are still here and haven't changed a bit. I just come back from an appointment with an internist and he told me I was experiencing iatrogenic dysautonomia which he assured me would be temporary (I have big difficulties believing him). He told me those kind of meds changes, especially on a fragile mind like mine were disastrous. He added that the psychiatrist I've seen is notoriously known for bad practice but they can't get rid of her... He said I needed to stop those changes of meds and stay constant. Anyway : I don't know if those POTS/dysautonomia symptoms will one day disappear (I know this website is not aimed at answering this), but as a first step, I wanted to switch back to Lexapro 10mg from Cymbalta 60mg. I wanted to know if you thought it was a good idea. I'm afraid of giving my brain another AD : especially another subtype - SNRI - which will alter again my brain in a different way + I'm afraid of getting hit by strong WD symptoms from Lexapro 10mg soon. The switch in one week from Lexapro to Cymbalta was 1 week ago and I didn't suffer any symptoms. During this specific week, I was on 5mg Lexapro and 30mg Cymbalta. Do you think I can do the same thing to switch back to Lexapro 10mg? My second need would be to help stabilize my nervous system because all my usual tools for this no longer work. I can't do relaxation exercizes or breathing relaxations anymore (dysautonomia symptoms have made my parasympathetic system kinda disappeared and my breathing are no longer relaxing, I'm in a permanent state of stress). I'm in a very dark place for some times now and I hope to find some relief at one point about this. If I can see some improvement on that part, I later wish to be able to go on the journey of tapering Lexapro... Thanks for your help. Viinncceennt

Zoloft started it. Lexapro destroyed me. Long painful story too traumatic to retell or survive but here I am. Brain absolutely destroyed after long taper. 27months off. Poly drugged into oblivion. No hope but I want to be here just to read some stories if that's ok. Thanks

I've been doing all of my research on here, reading as many stories as I can and gather information before embarking on my taper. So I thought it might be time to actually join in. I started on Lexapro in November last year, very reluctantly. I was have a lot of muscle tension that would at times make me anxious because i could get no relief from it. I've had GAD for years, but through years of psychologists I'd learnt a lot of coping mechanisms that have kept me well (enough). 20 years ago I was on Lexapro at the beginning of my GAD diagnosis and for depression. It helped me back then, but have never needed/wanted any meds since. When I started this time I started on 5mg (with the instruction to keep to that for 2 weeks then move to 10mg). I had a rough start with a huge amount of anxiety, dizziness, fatigue, terrible sleep and brain fog. I even had one horrible day that I had to get on a plane for work and got hot burning skin, got even dizzier, and fainted. In the middle seat between two strangers! Awful. The next day I tried the 10mg, thinking it might help. It didn't... surprise surprise! Panic attack, DR, burning feeling on skin, the worst day. I went back to 5mg the next day, and back to 'normal'. I've never been able to shake the bad sleep (I can fall asleep, but wake up a few times and then really early), or the brain fog. I kept on because I was told that I need to give it a couple of weeks for full effect. Then it was six weeks for full effect. I knew by then it wasn't right for me, I didn't want to be on it, and I had zero intention of increasing it. Came here, researched, learned how to make my own liquid from my 10mg tablets and picked a date. The first (and only) drop was 10% on 24 Feb this year - down to 4.5mg. I've got some odd feelings that I don't know if they are WD or the medication itself. They don't seem to follow the same kind of windows/waves patterns I've seen others mention. Mine are very 'routine' which is what I feel is odd. I start out the day fine, even do Pilates in the morning. Take my lexapro at 9.30am and by 10.30 or 11am the heavy brain fog/confusion/unable to keep a train of thought starts. Then by 1.30 the dizziness kicks in along with chills/goosebumps. The dizziness starts to lift around 6pm, but the goosebumps are pretty much non-stop until about 9pm. This pattern has been happening every day for the last two and bit weeks. The middles of everyday are almost a write-off. It's really hard to work and try to be me. I've had one day where it didn't happen, but I didn't change anything on that day. I wish I did, so I could have a reason why. I quite like a routine, so pretty good at sticking to it! Does this seem 'normal' for a 10% reduction? Should I have some of this stopping soon? I was planning to hopefully reduce again after four weeks, but I don't know if this medication is causing me more grief or if I should simply be more patient and tolerate this longer. I'd love any feedback or advice on my odd pattern of daily symptoms if anyone has made it through my super long intro (sorry about that).

Orignal full title before shortening: 2 Months of lowest dose Mirtazapine, sufferin now for over 2,5 months of withdrawal I would set my signature up properly, but I just can't remember anything. Remeron/Mirtazapine withdrawal still leaves me with such a messed up memory that remembering only 2 things at a time causes me great problems. I can't tell which month I took my Effoxor back then, I'm not even sure about the year. Though I keep great track of the Remeron withdrawal, so at least I can tell that. If you don't want to read the whole story, I categorized the "drug" part in the Drugs section below. There is still some life story though. For the start, I'm currently 18 years old and a female. I was twice in mental hospitals seeking help for a problem that was solved with - you won't believe me - one sentence by my mom. One sentence just cured my whole condition. It may sound incredibly ridiculous, but seriously all of this that you'll read wouldn't have happened if somebody told me this one sentence at the very beginning. And I'm incredibly mad because of this, as I suffered and endured so much pain through the years because everybody was so desperate to prove that I had depression. At 13 years old I had a panic attack caused by a certain phobia which I mistook for suicidal thoughts. I admitted myself to a mental hospital to stay safe, as I was greatly scared that I would harm or kill myself. I spend there 1,5 months and they diagnosed PCOS-Syndrome (hormone problems) and "mild depression". They said I should spend more time with peers, as seemingly it was caused by having an inactive social life (I was quite the outsider at school and would remain. Not because I was shy or something, I was just always such an emotional-artist personality and had interest in completely other things than others my age, so I couldn't connect. Famous people or make-up didn't bother me at all.) On the contraceptive I felt much better, though it made me sleepy, but I needed, need and will probably always need it for without it my body completely breaks down, as the hormone imbalance is severe (more on that later). The phobia-episodes stayed away, emerging randomly for a few minutes sometimes but very rare, until age 15. I think the episode lasted there for half a year and little longer? They acted like panic attacks, up to 3-4 times a day and some days I was free from it. But I endured it, and though it may sound scary, looking back it actually wasn't so bad as I made it out to be when I went through it. At age 13 the panic attacks were much more rarer, you'll see why. So when I had those panic attacks, and I wondered why they were there, they seemed to have no cause, I blamed it on the contraceptives. So I was switched to another one, but I got very irritable on it and punched a wall for the first time ever in my life (I'm quite the peaceful person). The gynecologist didn't want to switch me on another contraceptive (as she was paid by this certain brand to only sell this one - literally posters of this contraceptive brand and calendars and cards everywhere in her place), so I stopped taking it. After few months, not many, my body began breaking down. I was dizzy most of the time, nauseated, I was constantly, literally constantly hungry, didn't have appetite though for anything, I was so fatigued I would sleep literally nearly the whole day, couldn't go to school, couldn't do anything really, and had quite the anhedonia. That was the worst, the anhedonia. Hormones can really, really do lots. Didn't have period for the whole year of no pill either. When my panic episodes (that I always called mistakenly suicidal episodes), returned I seeked help again desperately - and was admitted to a mental hospital again which mas psychosomatic in kind and didn't treat cases like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. 4,5 months there and no improvement, in fact, I got worse there. The therapist there was also a complete idiot and made just everything worse. He blamed my condition on the family (he'd wish he'd have such a deep bond with his mother), he blamed it on literally everything and called it "depression" all the time, though at the end of 4,5 months they still had no diagnosis because I literally did all paper tests they had and in all of them came out a very low scale of depression. They couldn't identify the cause at all. At first they thought Cyclothymia, then bipolar II, then depression, then this, then that, 4,5 months later we haven't got anywhere. Funny thing is, the therapist wasn't even fully licenced yet. He attended "further education" about psychotherapy. He barely knew anything. The psychiatrists there neither, because they told that "hormones can't do such a thing". Haha. I can attest they really, really do. I should have noticed he was not alright in the head after a few weeks when he told me I had sexual problems because I wasn't interested in sex enough. "Normally, people your age try around their sexuality with friends or so..." no thank you, I'll have my dignity. Next, I had an "oversensitive mother". She "worried too much." Who wouldn't about their child that has been unwell so long? "Normally people your age should go partying at night, and your mother doesn't let you..." first, I don't want to go thank you, second, yes, partying until 01:00 am somewhere in somewhere seems very safe and plausible. But my father who didn't care about me my whole life is the best one! The therapist tried to get me away more from my mother so I would get closer to my father and forgive him for not knowing "how to be a father", which I didn't do which again frustrated my therapist, and with every session he grew more frustrated that he couldn't manipulate me. Everything I spoke about in therapy I told my parents (especially mom), and everything that she spoke about with him in visits she told me. My therapist said he can't do proper therapy with me if I tell everything my parents. He sees a lack of "privacy" in this family. Everyone should have "secrets". What was unnormal to him is that we only have locks on bathrooms and on no other door. "I should be able to lock my door", he said. Which, if he really thinks I have depression, is the most stupid thing you can say. I won't even mentoin the documents I got when I got out of the hospital that he wrote, seriously you wouldn't believe what is written on it. -------------------- Drugs So after 4,5 months of no getting better, no improvement but worsening, they placed me on 37.5mg Effoxor which I responded to extremely quickly and really, really well. Within a few hours nearly my whole condition was gone. Even they were surprised that it acted so quickly, and that already the first one suited me so well, as usually people have to try around to find one that is good for them. Whether placebo or not, it did the thing it was supposed to do - so well that pharma companies could show me as an example of "miracle drugs". (I'm very sensitive to medications/caffeine etc., so I'm not surprised that a low dose works so strong on me). I had also very few side effects. I was placed a few days later on 75mg, and then my whole condition was gone. When I asked if antidepressants really numb feelings, the lead doctor said "no, the depression does that." Tells about everything you have to know about him. On my last visit to my therapist I told him they did nothing, only the drugs helped me. That he didn't like of course and in the documents I was counterargumentet that I "eagerly took part in all of their offered therapies". Yes, it was so boring there that I attended even courses that others couldn't go to and I went in their place instead. If we hadn't any courses - music, physiotherapy - I would take hour long walks with the others because else I woulg go crazy sitting there and doing nearly nothing. They wanted to keep me longer there, but I said "no", as fast as possible out of this place, they were all not alright in the head. And I got really fast out because my mother stormed in and shoved such arguments up their faces, especially my therapist, that he started shuddering. The locks, the "sexual problems", she had no mercy with words. Twenty minutes later I was out. A very few months later we went to another gynecologist, who is a fantastic one. There the PCOS syndrome was diagnosed again, and I was put on contraceptives again (my third) - I responded very well to this one. Unlike the first one, which was good too, this one didn't make me sleepy and I can function to this day without midday sleeps, which I needed on the first one. After half year of Effoxor I had to see my psychiatrist again, as the longer I was on the pill, the greater the "freezing headache" and numbing of the antidepressant came to light. Theory I strongly believe in, again THEORY - this was because the more I gained hormonal balance, the greater the serotonine etc. production functioned again and my body functioned more normally again - meaning, I didn't need the effoxor anymore and it started doing a little more harm than good now. So I was put off it, I was told to taper, but stupid me wanted so badly the numbing to go away that I did cold turkey. And compared to other cold turkeys I read, this one wasn't so bad. Dizziness, very strong headache, a bit of vomiting, that's all. On the second or third day though I took a 37.5mg pill again and tapered this time, opening the capsule and putting the little tablets out of it until only one of the little was inside. Then I had a week or two of mild withdrawal and it was over. As I said, poster girl for pharma with this drug. This year, 2022, on February my "suicidal episode" came back - and it didn't came back like before - this time it hit, at the same time, with such a panic attack that I hyperventilated so badly I got severe twitches and my eyes rolled up and teeth shuddered etc. an ambulance had to be called. They knew it was hyperventilating and I was calmed down with reduced breathing, because too much oxygen. It worked. But now I was left with such anxiety that I became extremely sleep deprived. When I visited my psychiatrist again (I had to wait 2 days for the emergency visit to him), he wasn't able to offer much help besides "taking up an antidepressant again". I said no, no antidepressants anymore. I asked for sleeping aid, so I would get a bit of rest after being much sleep deprived for two-three days. So he gave me a sleeping pill. Without telling me it's an antidepressant. Later I found out it is an antidepressant. Thank you very much. So I was given Remeron/Mirtazapine 7.5mg. When I started it, I became greatly suicidal, with urges to kill my myself and immense hopelesness that was drug-induced. During this time I seriously thought about assisted suicide (and still a bit traumatized because of it, as I never, never had before sucidal thoughts - the suicidal episodes were mistaken, I'll explain later.) I wanted to stop it after two days, but my mom said they need a bit of time to settle and then it'll get better. And it did, the suicidality vanished. I slept much more on it, not very much as since years I had disrupted sleeping, but this time only once a night and I fell asleep quite fast after that. Now, what is important to mentoin as it happened during the taking of mirtazapine, and I had one of those "suicidal episodes" my mom told me - this was the one sentence that cured me - "that it seems like I'm not depressed or anything, but scared." Boom. Done. It all went away. As I googled later, I found out what I had all the time was "Suicidal OCD - an intense fear of suicide and intrusive thoughts about suicide which leave the individual disturbed and distressed." This was also why the episodes got more intense and frequent in time - the more I was scared of it, the more intense it became. When I was distracted, it wasn't there. I remember when blood was taken from me it would disappear for a while, I remember the more hopeful I was the more it disappeared. All in my head. Ones own head, illusion can cause such suffering... fascinating. And indeed, the second I realized this was only a fear and not actual suicidal thoughts, all disappeared. And didn't come back. A few weeks later I would know the difference between this and actual sucidal thoughts. I was very alright on Mirtazapine, had feelings and so on, was myself pretty much. Problem was, the longer I took it the more paranoid-anxious I became (along with more and more damaged short-term memory), which would make me stop it after 2 months - and also by another event. I took CBD oil (I consulted it of course with my psychiatrist first), for it to help me further as maybe this would help my sleeping problems and I could get off mirtazapine. And I took the two together, and mirtazapine didn't react well to it. Got extremely anxious and with semi-suicidal feelings, kind of like when I first took it but half so bad- so I stopped the oil after three days of no improvement, but fast forward a half week later and the symptoms don't go away. So I had to stop taking mirtazapine, on 4th April. At first I became a bit hypomanic, my senses were sharp as never before, adrenal-like, nothing negative much. It went away after two days and was replaced by huge anxiety. It was lowering continuously over the course of one month, and I thought "not so bad", at the end, at first it was bad, but it was going away. 6th of May, it hit, and it hit really, really hard. I never felt this suicidal, it was like when I started taking it but 3x worse. It was accompanied by dizziness, intense nausea, extreme brain fog, anxiety, memory was non-existent, hopelessness rose to 900%, apathy, no feelings. Half of the day I thought about suicide and the other half of the day I was flat, kind of existing. The suicidality was intense, I could think about nothing else - it was nothing like the OCD I had, now I could really, really distinguish between illusion and actual suicidal thoughts. I felt, and still feel such regret of ever taking any antidepressant, I never was so scared about my future before, never regretted something so much. After one, two weeks it started gradually falling and the suicidality went kind of away, along with nausea, etc. What was left was the brain frog, numbness, impaired memory. But it got better over time, and I knew from the beginning it was withdrawal else I would probably have got psychotic about this. Now, a few days ago, second wave hit. Suicidality (but half so bad this time), now I have weird skin sensations sometimes, still much numb (I can cry very well though, I just don't feel the sadness, but the feelings are still there, hidden somewhere.) Brain fog, short-term memory still doesn't exist. Again, intense regret, I'm still so scared it won't end or I will suffer permanent damage, even though it was just 2 months and the lowest dose. What is optimistic though, for the first time since these 2.5 months I responded emotionally to music which opened a window, and I was cycling recently between withdrawal-window-withdrawal. But the fear of no end and permanent damage is still there, and thinking only about the slightest good memory from childhood makes me tip over into intense crying, as I'm so afraid that I lost now everything. There are so many things I still want to do, finish school, a good university etc., and I will only be able to forgive myself and forget if it all ends well, with as little damage as possible. Reassurement of "it was only such a short time, such a low dose, it won't damage you..." leaves me only with a bit of hope. In the past month I read so much about neuroplasticity and learned so much about the true face of psychiatry (especially through "Anatomy of an Epidemic"), and it left me in bewilderment and anger. Had I knew, then I would have never taken it. Never, no matter what and I never will take anything of it ever again. I only found about long-term use damage, so I guess from 2 months and lowest dose I will recover? I found in the Anatomy book that for antipsychotics, the rule is 2 months recovery for 1 month use, and only at the period of over a year or so it might cause permanent damage. I hope it is better for antidepressants, especially since I read so many horror stories I cried about with immense fear, and many I read with hope who came off after 20 years of various antidepressants and recovered well to 100% themselves. Often the knowledge about neuroplasticity, neurogenesis and success stories keep me sane. Incredible what 2 month use of the lowest dose can cause. If it shall end in 5 months, I will endure. I'm extremely endurable, all my life I've proven it. But there is this uncertainity, and it won't let me sleep at times.

I started to taper off Prozac 20mg 5/2020. I got down to 3mg 11/2020. I became depressed. Under the care of my Doctor Psychiatrist, From 12/2020 to 5/2021 I have started and stopped 5 different meds and increase and decrease Lamictal. My brain is a mess. I have had every thing from Brain zapping, brain numbing, paranoia, headaches, insomnia, muscle weakness, unexplainable fear, intrusive thought that have turned into ocd, left side of my face and eye hurt on and off, unable think clearly, slow speech, anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, nausea, weight loss, I can't even name it all. On 5mg Lexapro 37.5mg lamictal, and 25mg of trazadone Started Lexapro 4/3/2021 Slow titration,, my brain is very, very drug sensitive, 4/14 7.5mg. side effects so bad, and anger, anxiety through the roof, doctor encouraged my to go up 4/30 10mg. Could not take the side effects dropped 4/10 7.5mg. Doctor said he does know if he can help me. Told me to stop Lexapro, and go on a med holiday . 4/16 Lexapro 5mg. Holding,. don't know what to do? Do I hold here for awhile. Doctor is no help. He thinks I can stop Lexapro with in 2 weeks. Since I dropped down lexapro 5mg and started L theanine and Magnesium glycinate, things are slightly better. I found a new doctor but can not get in until the end of June. Since I am so close to no drugs I would like to see if I can continue my goal of being drug free. Med history 1995? Prozac 20mg not help anxiety ? Paxil Caused anger stop Serzone More depressed 1998 St Johns wart stop 1998 Prozac 20mg 1998 trazadone 50mg took for a few months stop 2000 lexapro 20mg. 2015 taper off Lexapro, fast taper a few month crash tried to reinstate Lexapro did not work Tried Effexor, did not work stop Oct 2015 Hospital 1 week Seroquel xr 50mg Viibryd 20mg. Did not even get up to 20mg. So drugged, I could not hardly work 30 minutes after taking so dizzy. Stopped at home 12/2016 Abilify, couldn't tolerate stop 12/16 Wellbutrin couldn't tolerate stop 12/16 Stopped Seroquel xr 50mg. To nauseated and couldn't eat. Heartburn Don't remember tapering 1/2016 Prozac 20mg. slight improvement 5/2016 Lamictal 200mg. 5/2020 through 11/2020 taper Prozac down to 3mg. depression and anxiety insomnia 12/2/2020 Zoloft 12.5mg 12/13 25mg. 12/24 37.5mg 12/28 50mg. Bad side effects Felt like brain sitting on eclectic fence 4 day tapper stop 1/5/2021 up lamictal from 200mg to 300mg. 1/13 lamictal 400mg. Brain started ruminating and obsessing 1/17 lamictal 300mg. 1/22 lamictal 200mg 1/22/2021 Seroquel 50mg for sleep Became paranoid. nausea headaches 1/29 stopped 1/29/2021 Trazadone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/16 stopped 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects to much, arm and leg muscles became very week, nausea headaches 4/23/2021 panicked and stopped. doc not return my call Brain went crazy, paranoia ( should have learned, not to try it again) 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 5/16 5mg Now: 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone L theanine 200mg Magnesium glycinate 100mg Omega 3 2000mg Turmeric 1500mg .5 mg melatonin

Hello! First of all I want to thank all the beautiful heros around here, who share their storys, it helped me a lot to read the success storys again and again to stay focussed and motivated, to keep hope and not give up during the last 2,5 years. I am 35, female. Last friday I hit the 18 months mark after coming off Escitalopram for the third time in April 2020. Most people, especially professionals doubt that the physical and mental symptoms I experience are due to coming off Escitalopram and think it is all in my head. I am very exhausted of the horrible symptoms and having to fight all the time for being supported or even believed. Probably loosing my job and getting no financial support any more at the end of this month, the pressure becomes higher and higher and I am close to giving in and going back in the psychiatric system...and back on meds. I don't know what to do at the moment and hope to get some helpful advise here. Here is my whole history especially of the last about 3 years of struggling: - On holiday in Spain in 2011, while on a city tour, I had a panic attack after feeling faint. After that, I developed agoraphobia with panic attacks – something that has become manageable after psychotherapy. - Having sat the medical exam in 2012, I worked in internal medicine in a hospital setting from 2015 to 2016, with enormous workload and pressures, constant understaffing and a feeling of being out of my depth and overwhelmed while also having incredibly high expectations of myself and my care for the patients. Having reached exhaustion, the panic attacks returned 12 months into the job, and I left. - I restarted psychotherapy, and in September 2016 started taking 15mg Escitalopram (prescribed by a psychiatrist) - I stabilized quickly and took a job as an occupational GP in a very large company in November 2016. I enjoyed that job, felt valued by my colleagues and managers and did’nt feel overwhelmed. It gave me a good work-life balance, and I started volunteering at a charity offering medical support to homeless people, something I thoroughly enjoyed. I had a great relationship, supportive family and friends, enjoyed being active and sporty. - In July 2017, after about 9 months, I attempted to come off the drug, having discussed it with the psychiatrist, tapering by 5mg/ per week over 2 weeks. After that, I felt unwell, was restless, anxious and had stomach issues. The psychiatrist said this was a sign I wasn’t stable enough and 15mg Escitalopram was reinstated. I stabilized and felt better. - In summer 2018, I made a second attempt to come off the drug, but tapered much more slowly. Having reached 10mg we celebrated a beautiful wedding in August 2018, and I then reduced further to 8mg before going on honeymoon in September 2018. A couple of days later I began experiencing panic attacks again, along with exhaustion. I reduced further to 6mg, but then went back up to 15mg because I felt too bad, following psychiatrist advice. I stabilized again. - In March 2019, I attempted tapering for a third time, reducing by 5mg/week over 2 weeks, because the psychiatrist thought the slow tapering might be introducing a psychological issue that was making me feel worse. During the tapering process I started experiencing symptoms, and 3 days after I reached 0mg I was completely floored, with massive physical and mental symptoms. I was unable to work for 3 months, having never been off sick in the 2.5 years before. - There was no improvement after 6 weeks, and so after taking advice from 2 psychiatrists, I started taking the medication again – increasing the dosage by 1mg every 2 days. I had to stop that at 6mg because my symptoms became too severe. - I found a psychiatrist in Berlin who is aware of withdrawal issues, and he recommended to reduce to 2.5mg, which I did in July 2019, the aim being for me to stabilize. At that dosage, I was able to work reduced hours (20-24 hours/week), but it was a constant battle and I felt unwell all the time. - I began to think that maybe I had developed an intolerance to the medication, and so after months of no improvement, I began to taper off it again, following the Horowitz-paper, and reaching 0mg in April 2020. The symptoms got continuously worse as I tapered and got more severe when I reached 0mg. I have been unable to return to work since July 2020. This is a list of my symptoms – although their intensity and the range I may be experiencing on any given day varies. While I never experienced all of them, I haven’t felt “normal” or really well. - autonomic dysregulation: stomach and gut issues (nausea, reflux, stomach cramps, abdominal tension, gut-hyperperistaltic, flatulence and many more), incontinence (in 2019, I wet myself 3 times during the night), difficulty breathing, orthostatic dysregulation, palpitations/irregular heartbeats, sweating - adrenalin rushes/overstimulation of the autonomic nervous system, even smallest stimuli can lead to a fight and flight response - emotional dysregulation: crying fits, extreme mood swings, overwhelming emotions - extreme anxiety: general, agoraphobic, social, paranoia (can’t stand someone walking behind me, feel observed and judged all the time) - depressive symptoms: feeling extremely down, hopeless, desperate, coming and going randomly - myalgia (legs, back, neck, shoulders, arms, whole body) - neuralgia (toes, fingers, earlobes, shoulders, neck…) - headache, neuropathic face, jaw and toothache - abdominal pain - tingling paresthesia (legs, neck, head) - trouble regulating temperature (very sensitive to heat or cold, feeling very hot, shivering with cold), hot flushes, hot skin and feet - extreme sweats at night - trouble swallowing - extreme sensitivity to light, sound, movement and smells, quickly overwhelmed with sensory input, driving or cycling has become difficult, often impossible - dizziness, vertigo - vivid dreams, horrible nightmares, oversleeping - restlessness, agitation - panic, flush, palpitaions, sweating, muscleache in the morning - eye-issues (trouble focusing, burning, dry feeling) - ear-issues (pain, sore feeling) - issues with perception (flickering lights, colour distortion, static items appear to be moving, the floor goes blurry, sounds where there are none) - depersonalisation, derealisation - extreme exhaustion, lack of energy and strength - brain fog, confusion, desorientation, like being on a drug (not off) - cognitive issues with memory, concentration, finding or writing words, reading, understanding - flu-like symptoms - trouble regulating stress (feel overwhelmed quickly) - trouble calming my thoughts, very intense, ruminating thoughts, interrupting cognition - flashbacks (to all kinds of situations, some totally banale) - travel sickness Trigger that provoke/intensify symptoms: - stimuli of any kind, such as light, sound, movement, noice - multitasking - driving (also being a passenger) - eating - physical activity (exercise almost impossible and has been for months, but even walks or getting dressed can overstimulate the autonimic nervous system and lead to a fight and flight response) - screen time - reading - being on the phone - music - conversation, especially talking myself - being in the sun - period and ovulation - social contact of any kind - napping during the day Of course, there have been issues in my life along the way, if that was not the case I would not have started taking Escitalopram in 2016. I struggle with anxiety, but it is something I am addressing. What I have been living through for the last 2,5 years does not compare to anything I have previously experienced, and most of the symptoms I experience I never experienced before I started to take the SSRI. The anxiety I feel since tapering is extreme, complete terror. It is, to be honest, hell. Since April 2020, it has got worse, and I alternate between days where I can cope and do things like take care of the household, go for walks or go to the supermarket, to days where I have to rest a lot, and days where I am house- and bedbound for most of the day. I have found nothing that eases the symptoms, having tried a whole range of things from homeopathy and acupuncture to food supplements (fish oil, magnesium). I meditate daily, do Yin Yoga a number of times a week, eat healthy, don’t drink alcohol or have caffeine, and try to walk out in the fresh air whenever possible. I sleep and rest plenty, but nothing has led to a lasting easing of the symptoms so far. I have had a neurological checkup, including an MRI, have had my bloods and heart checked, all results were great. After all this time, I can’t help but feel huge doubt whether the path I have chosen – accept and hang in there – is the right one. I was convinced I could live without the drug, but 3 years of fighting coming off and the intensity of the symptoms have taken me to the edge of what I can suffer through. My goal to lead a normal life feels a very long way off. I am terrified that I have misjudged this and overestimated my mental health and am questioning myself and my decisions constantly. I am hoping that with your experience, you can give me your objective assessment of whether this indeed is withdrawal, and if I am right in that, if there is anything that might help with the symptoms or move the healing process forward. Thank you in advance from my deep heart for your time and advice. 🙏

Hi, I wish I had found this forum a long time ago. I've been on Lexapro (escitalopram) for almost 9 years now, since 2012. I was on 10 mg for a short time (a month maybe?) and then my doctor increased my dosage to 20 mg. The reason I got on the medication was I was suffering some rough OCD things (I was doing a lot of lock checking, dealing with intrusive thoughts, etc) and also just general depression. I was in my early 20's, working a call center-y job where I dealt with difficult customers on the phone a lot, stressed about picking a degree, and was in a new relationship that had some challenges. My parents had recently both started taking anti anxiety medication themselves, and after telling them of the stuff I was dealing with they thought I would benefit from it as well. Went to the family doctor, who had me take that questionnaire thing and then put me on Lexapro. I don't recall exact dates, but I think I've been taking Lexapro since April or May 2012. Overtime it did help me ease out of my depression and OCD symptoms. But life always felt like it was in a haze. My low moments had been brought up but my higher moments had been brought down. I also had weight gain issues, which certainly weren't helped with my bad diet but seemed to get worse after getting on the medication. Despite my worries about this I continued to go to my doctor yearly to get re-upped on my medication and when he asked me if the medication was still working for me I would just say it did. I think 1) I was worried about going back to how I was before getting on the medication and 2) it felt like the expected answer. The last few times of having these visits I wanted to tell him I wanted to get off the medication, but just gave the same answer that yes it was working instead. I continued to feel like I was in a haze and was frustrated with myself because my career wasn't really doing what I wanted it to do, but I felt no drive to really fix that. Finally last year, summer 2020 (I think July, again I'm having trouble remember dates here), I decided it was time to be done with it, and that doctor as well (due to a visit unrelated to this where I left feeling very frustrated with him, and I didn't even live in that area anymore anyways). I went to a new doctor, told him I was on Lexapro and wanted to get off, and he gave me a plan of halving my dose monthly for a few months. My side effects of going down to 10mg were pretty bad. I was really irritable and angry with my family. I was panicky all the time. I had trouble falling asleep. And I had what I think were heart palpitations, fluttering in my chest. I didn't reach out to the doctor about these symptoms. The idea of halving it every month felt too fast to me and freaked me out. The prescription he gave me had a few refills on it, so I decided to stay on the 10mg for the whole prescription rather than halving it after a month like he said. For my side effects, the sleep issues only last a few days but the heart palpitations lasted two or three of the four months I was on 10mg. I went at the end of the prescription, explained that I had stayed on the 10mg, he asked how it was going and I mentioned some of the side effects except for the heart palpitations. He suggested going down to 5mg for a month or so, then 2.5 mg for a month or so, then doing 2.5 mg every other day for a month or so. He said going from 20 to 10 would be worse than going to 10 to 5 and I should expect my symptoms to not be as bad. He was wrong. The heart palpations came back quickly, just as bad as before. This time I did call the doctor's office and left a message. A nurse called me back and told me it was normal and to let them know if it got to a point where it was too much for me to handle. My immediate thought was that any level of fluttering in my chest is too much to handle but I wanted to get off the medication so I just said okay. So I just gritted my teeth and bore it as those continued for a few weeks. I did 5mg for two months, then just started cutting them in half a week ago. In general, my irritability and anger have been at a high since I started tapering. I think it starts to get a little better just before I lower the dosage and then it seems to get bad again. I have a toddler who likes to push my buttons a lot and has been in a particularly challenging stage of just being defiant to us. This, combined with my general mood issues, has caused a lot of challenges. I'm losing my temper all the time, yelling, and it makes me feel terrible about myself. The heart palpitations are gone, and my sleep is OK except that my son never lets me sleep in, but I just feel either disengaged with what is happening around me or pissed off at everything. I've been taking some CBD tincture daily for a month or two but I'm not confident that has done anything. I'll try to sum up now because this is getting long and disjointed...I'm on 2.5 mg Lexapro and struggling with my mood. I wish so much I could go back and never get on this medication. I think with other resources I could have learned to overcome my ocd without this drug. I was once a pretty relaxed person (when I wasn't being ocd), and now I'm yelling at my son over stupid things and making things ten times worse all the time. Anyway, everything is hard right now, but I'm hoping to push through it. I'm glad to finally be able to share all of this with people who understand, it helps to talk through this.

Hello, I started lexapro for mild social anxiety and was on it for 6 years (3 of those years I was on 60mg which I found out later was 3x the Max dose). I never had any issues on the medicine if I skipped a dose or went up or down in dosage. I abruptly stopped taking it about 2 years ago and had horrible withdrawal symptoms. I went right back on the medicine but was never able to have coffee after that and had palpitations. After that scare I wanted to get off the medicine so last year starting in January i weaned down from 10mg to 0mg in a 4 month period. I never had any issues while tapering off. Then in June (3 months after stopping) one day I randomly felt 2 sharp electric shocks in my head while reading and started to have an onslaught of symptoms after. Dizziness (feeling like a bobble head when walking), extreme fatigue, heart issues which caused me to go to ER a few times, sensitiviy to noise, visual disturbances etc. I went to many doctors and everything was normal. In September my symptoms got progressively worse to the point where I had to move back home to my parents. For the past 2.5 months I have basically been bed ridden am developing POTs type symptoms and have extreme fatigue and dizziness. I tried taking Xanax for 3 days in September, lexapro for 4 days at 1mg in nov and this past weekend I took Zoloft at 25mg for two days and I had a bad reaction to each, especially the Zoloft. I now have brain zaps and shocky like sensations whenever I move my head or eyes. I wanted to get advice to see if this sounds like it’s attributed to lexapro as every doctor has assured me it’s not and if so, if there’s any hope for healing. Thanks.

Hello. I want to share my story to you and try to find some hope in this tuff journey. I am sorry for my English, is not my native language. I was 25 when I got some panic attacks from weed use and did the mistake and visit psychiatrist. After deny medication he convinced me and took 20 MG of lexapro. First month I got hppd, that he claims it's not the drug and general mild reduce of my intelligence. I stayed on it and hppd went away, so I believe is a receptor thing. I stayed there and did three attempts get off all this years with his advice taper in one month the max dose. First attempt at 2016 after one year use I got extreme terror and anxiety, second extreme social fear and loss of weight, third is the last one I got extremely sick on it with reactions and extreme fatigue and all day migraines plus inflammation marker on blood so I cold turkey. Never heard of tapering before until this year. All My symptoms that I have and had severe after get off the med it was mild on Lexapro and I had signs for all. First months I get off even I didn't have my character etc I wasn't bedridden. My symptoms so far I deal with them are: Symptoms that got better at 20-70percent: Extreme vertigo, balance issues, walking issues, hand shaking, legs restless, spinning vision, severe oscilopsia, crashing sounds, smelling things didn't exist, couldn't sit on chair because felt my body collapsing for months, swallow issues ate only soups for months, fever, anxiety not severe like muted, toxic anxiety, extreme weight loss, cold dysfuction, hair loss, tmj, extreme fatigue, one sec working memory, extreme anger, extreme happiness, extreme crying spells,burning brain, missing brain feeling,(still have most of them but not in a range of make me bedbound). I regain 60-70percent of my hearing even left with tinitus. Started feel some music, started seeing dreams, gain 20 percent of visualization. (I had lost all of them on lex and didn't know from lobotomized) Symptoms that persist or getting worst: blank mind apathy, tinnitus, severe cognitive dysfuction, severe detached from world, words problem, severe confusion even do simple tasks, time problem perception, both long term and short memory loss, visual snow, hppd, akitenopsia, bomb exploding feeling on head General I deal with all kind of possible symptoms. This concern me it's that I had all this mild on Lexapro and I had esr inflammation marker.. So I believe is chronic damage. The severe dementia started ten months off. My personality has nothing to do that I was but I am worst even from my severe pssd I had on Lexapro. Did anyone got this one year off to his cognition and get better? I started go to my office with brother try do some things I used to but suffering 24/7 with no thoughts and brain. Can the cognition get better one year off? Love you all