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Found 37 results

  1. 9 months ago today I took my last Prozac and I am still dealing with withdrawal. I took 15 mg of Fluoxetine for 12 years from PAR pharmaceuticals. In July 2015 the fluoxetine I received from the pharmacy was from TEVA pharmaceuticals, apparently PAR pharmaceuticals discontinued the tablets I was taking. Well, my body did not react well to the TEVA brand. I started having nausea and tremors. After a couple of days on the TEVA brand I switched to the MYLAN brand but nothing changed. Realizing my body was not going to handle the change I decided to taper but it seemed pointless because my body was in withdrawal from the PAR pharmaceutical fluoxetine my body was use to taking. On August 27th 2015 I took my last pill. From July to November I dealt with nausea and tremors and then all hell broke loose. On top of the nausea and tremors I developed a bad smell in my nose that only I can smell, internal shaking that is constant, the nausea got much worse, I started having hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia and chills. I also have cried almost every day since November. In December I had a gastric emptying study done due to the nausea and lack of appetite. I discovered I now have delayed gastric emptying. To date I have lost 44 pounds from the nausea and not being able to eat. I have also had a CT scan and an MRI for the tremors and internal shaking. Those results were normal. I have seen an ENT for the bad smell in my nose, but they can find nothing wrong. I have noticed that I am feeling a tiny and I stress tiny bit better but I still have the internal shaking, nausea, bad smell in my nose and crying. I have read about internal shaking in withdrawal but how long does it go on. I was put on Prozac for panic attacks and the constant internal shaking is making me feel panicky and anxious. Does anything help with it? Has anyone else experienced a bad smell in their nose or heard of anyone having a bad smell in their nose during withdrawal? Thank you for any advice or help anyone can offer me.
  2. Hello Thank you for accepting me in to this group. I have always faced adversity and never ever took any medication. I always felt these were life situations that all of us must face - and that there isn't a fast fix - only time will heal - which it always had. But when my son was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoma Leukemia - I forgot all about the above and listened to my GP to take something for this pain that hurting my very soul. So I took Zoloft and stayed on it for 8 years - Then on December 3, 2011 - my GP and I decided it was time to start tapering off Zoloft. Unfortunately Zoloft only comes in 25, 50 and 100 mgs in capsule form. I had to taper 25 mgs at a time, albeit I stayed on that amount for 4 months at a time. Took a year and a half to finally get off it, which was on May 17, 2013. My tapering experience: I had litte WDs in the beginning - first was the dizziness, arms and legs ached, headaches, groin pain to the point where I had a hard time walking, indigestion, - all these symptoms except the dizziness and headaches disappeared. I was coping quite well all through withdrawals - but I didn't know what was coming, was not prepared at all. When off completely May 17, 2013 - again for a couple of months still able to cope with WDs. Then around 6 months off - WDs seem to get worse - visual disturbances, anxiety, worsen headaches, lightheadedness - pins and needles all over my face and chin, daily migraines, tight band around my head - DP, crying all the time - night sweats - morning anxiety - All these symptoms started mildly around the 6th month period off - then they just got worse and worse and around 18 months of until now there has been no let up at all. Day after day with high anxiety, crying every day, distorted vision in one eye I think caused by the headaches. I am literally in hell - and I wonder if maybe I will be like this for the rest of my life. Also recently I have lost a person whom I love so much, never to see that person again. I think my WDs are even worse now because of it. There is no hope left in me...- Zoloft is the only medication I have ever taken and do not take anything at all - not even vitamins.
  3. Hello. My name is A and up until 2007, I was a happy well adjusted individual (loving, caring and with a huge amount of empathy for others) with a young family, who was very content with life. Due to an situation at work, I became anxious, and this anxiety did not subside. I visited my doctor, who immediately prescribed Citalopram (Citalex) - will hereafter refer to as C). My doctor did not suggest getting off these as soon as possible, instead recommending I stay on them in case I had a relapse (do they recommend cancer drugs to patients in remission). The possible consequences of this course of action were never explained to me. I have been on them pretty much ever since (and when they were working they worked fine), but I have had several attempts to get off them, with no success. I instead became depressed and was put back onto C. My most recent attempt was in mid-December 2016, and initially things appeared to be going OK, in that is I was functioning as would be expected, but without the medication. Unfortunately, my mood deteriorated. I was again signed off sick from work, and despite a further prescription of C (which I have discovered I can now not tolerate - instead it gave me severe headaches and made me confused) I am now totally anhedonic. The question I would like replies to address is whether this state is likely to be permanent, and if so, how do those in a similar sad situation cope with never feeling any pleasure whatsoever. I know I love my family, but there is no "warm fuzzy" feeling inside, just this deadness, whereas before there was love and empathy. What do other forum members feel has been the cause of their depression - life in general (with its ups and downs) or the fact that they have been on an antidepressant for a long time without which, ultimately, their body could not function, i.e. it was the drug itself that led to a depressive state?
  4. Hello. About a year ago my GP suggested I try Brintollix to help anxiety. After discussing with my wife, we decided to give it a try. A few days into the medication I began having severe side effects including debilitating panic attacks, severe anxiety, insomnia and nausea. After a couple weeks of these symptoms and two trips to urgent care, I discussed withdrawing with my GP. I stopped taking the brintollix and now know I was having withdrawals. I started seeing a psychiatrist who initially prescribed xanax and celexa. The celexa was increased frequently and I was taking 60 mg within 2 months of starting it. He switched the xanax to ativan, back to xanax and then to klonopin. I was also prescribed neurontin at one point and latuda at another point. My psychiatrist then got upset that my wife and I had called too many times on the emergency line and switched me to another provider in his office. I discussed my concerns with this provider and started decreasing the celexa. The celexa has made me nauseous from day one and its never subsided. I feel like a walking zombie when Im taking the celexa. I decreased from 60mg to 5mg over several months. On 12/31/15 after being on 5 mg for a month I stopped taking it, per my provider. Now its been 5 weeks of living hell. Panic attacks, nausea, anxiety, dark cloud feeling, exhaustion, head rushes, irritability, agitation, suicidal thoughts, tightness in chest, severe back pain...its been horrible. If not for taking time off from work and my wife, I probably would have committed suicide by now. I dont know if I can continue this hell...should I reinstate or keep fighting through this? I've taken 5HTP, drink shakeology daily, and take an omega 3 pill in the AM and PM. I also take propanolol for palpitations. Thanks for any and all help...I'm fighting every single day and praying for some relief but I just cant take this anymore.
  5. HI, My wife was on antidepressants starting with prozac for 20 years. As time went on she had side effects that were treated as independent issues, so was given meds for each such as antipsychotics, headache meds, ambien for sleep, pain meds, muscle relaxers, etc.. and finally benzos for a few years. Eventually she read a book written by someone who said a vagal nerve implant helped. She had the implant for a few years, going in to have it adjusted regularly, and never helped, so had it removed. Unfortunately the wire around her vagal nerve could not be removed so it still there. Finally we were told the ECT actually worked for everyone but was only as a last resort due to the nature of the process. So she had 13 ECT treatments. What a nightmare. They were not a cure. Lastly she found the book Your Drug May Be Your Problem and decided to stop ALL meds cold turkey, except noted that benzos should be tapered. So 7.5 years ago she stopped all other drugs and started a nightmare 18 month taper off benzoes. It was probably a nightmare due to cold turkey off all the other meds, but we did not know or understand. Shortly she will have been off benzos for 6 years and therefore 7.5 years off all other meds. She is still what we describe as acute in her suffering. I was on benzo buddies for a few years and we also communicated with an internationally known therapist who was in England, came to USA for a while so we had her visit us and help us, but recently she went back to UK. She has published books, has website, etc and everyone probably knows who it is, Anyway, of everything I ever read, the symptoms reported by Alto Strata were the closest I ever noted to what suffering my wife is experiencing. Above is the background. My wife believes she will never heal so I am trying to find any information that I can give her that people that have been protracted withdrawal for 7.5 years off all other drugs, and 6 years off the benzos, do actually heal. We cannot find any success stories by people going this long. There is a Monica who has videos and blogs who went on about this long , but that is all we can find of long term withdrawal. Does anyone have any helpful information? Thank you, Dufffer
  6. William: Hello!

    Good morning people! Just wanted to introduce myself and share my experiences with fellow like minded antidepressant survivors! Was first prescribed SSRI's in 2012 due to severe anxiety and suicide attempts (lucky to be alive) Took Mirtazapine for a year or so. Made me a bit drowsy, didnt notice any improvements so came off it, cold turkey, but no symptoms/side effects A year later went back to my GP (big mistake!) and he decided on prescribing Zoloft. I had a very severe reaction to this medication. Its difficult to remember all the side effects i had but i'll try to list them. Depersonalisation. Erectyle dysfunction. Sensitive CNS. Tinnitus. Insomnia. Sickness. Diarrhea. Feeling dreadful all day. No energy. No happiness. Anger. Could not talk. It will be 3 years this XMAS and i am still nowhere healed. I still have tinnitus. Sensitive CNS and feel awful every single day I have seen 12 doctors during this period. No one really believes me A Neurologist at the hospital basically kicked me out my appointment and said its all in my head I am so angry with the medical community I traveled the world and worked in financial services prior to this reaction, now i am on the sofa being cared for by my girlfriend I read the success stories on this forum and they give me hope, but its difficult to carry on when i have little improvement I bet your wondering, why are you only posting now? This forum scared me when i saw people say it took years to recover. When it happened i thought i would be one of the lucky ones who would heal in 3-6 months. WRONG! I currently take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis. But the last time i took some was months ago. I save them for when i need to be somewhere and acting normal (e.g. funerals/xmas time etc) I spend my time on the sofa, in bed or in the bath. It is a tuely miserable existance. So, here I am. My name is William and in live in England. From reading these forums i have all the answers i need. Patience and time are my friends. But happy to connect with people currently suffering through the lies of Big Pharma Have a good day all Will
  7. Hi guys, So here I am after being off antids for about 6 months, having tapered too quickly and suffering the consequences. I was latterly taking Citalopram 30mg, Lamotrigine 150mg and Venlafaxine 75mg. Summer 2015 I was officially diagnosed with major depression, which had obviously been there for a long, long time but had at that time got particularly bad. This was due to psychological issues, alcohol and drug abuse but wouldn't shift despite years of work fixing these. Now I know the long term citalopram use was probably making the depression worse. Around that time I saw 4 different psychologists and got 4 different opinions on how to recover/which meds to take. This of course was a ridiculous situation so I took matters into my own hands, taking what I thought was the 'best' advice and integrating it with my own research and experience . Following the 'advice' of one of the psychiatrists I added 75mg of Venlafaxine to the Citalopram and Lamotrgine. At the same time I'd heard about l-methylfolate so gradually ramped up to 15mg daily with b-6 and b-12. I know starting 2 things at once is not advisable but I was desperate and could hardly function. Within a couple of weeks something kicked the worst of the depression into touch which was a massive relief. After a couple of months on the 3 med cocktail the side effects were really starting to get to me so it was time to get off this stuff. Yes, I know, I did it all too quickly which is why I am where I am now....I should have listened more closely to the advice here :-) Hoping for a little advice and encouragement about my nervous system which in the last 3 months or so has got worse even though I stopped all meds 6 months ago. The lamotrigine taper had me shouting angrily at my wife a number of times - the intensity of the rage was incredible but passed quite quickly. She was very brave to be able to get through that! Citalopram taper was surprisingly easy. The final stages of the Venlafaxine withdrawl was tricky. I was down to 1 bead and if I didn't take it within a few hours I'd get head zaps, restless legs etc. At some point I had to stop so I did and put with these symptoms for a week or so. After all this I was however very fatigued which has improved to an acceptable level over the last 3 months. The fatigue was probably also due to recovering from the major depression. Right now I have anxiety issues, very easily stressed/snappy, can't sleep more than 5 hours a night and impossible to catch up with sleep during daytime as on the verge of dropping off I wake with intense terror/fear. Often trouble breathing properly, tight stomach and I am very sensitive to noise, light and touch. I also have panic attacks when the stress is high in my life. These have been occurring for a long time though and haven't really changed with changes in meds. Having done years of therapy and some bodywork I know that these are physical symptoms and I have quite a healthy psychological make up. I also do a lot of things to look after my physical and mental health which I won't go into here. On the plus side, I don't have the general low mood caused by taking Citalopram for years, blurred vision, muscle tightness, sexual problems, cognition and memory problems, sense of not being fully present + other well known side effects from these meds. I am having thoughts about re-introducing a very small amount of Citalopram or Venlafaxine - not sure which one of these is causing the nervous system issues - probably both. I'm aware that the likelihood of this helping after 6 months is low, but I'm willing to try to alleviate symptoms. Advice on this is very welcome! As my name suggests, I do finally feel alive after 16 years on these meds - something about taking them was just not 'right'. Even though I'm suffering right now I'd rather be here. I hope this gives some encouragement to others and also serves as a warning about what happens when you taper too quickly! Thanks to mods and users alike for this wonderful resource. Cheers
  8. I know we all struggle and in this 6 years of protracted withdrawal I have struggled with the waves which come with a catalogue of symptoms intense agitation akasthesia nausea tummy cramps cow pat pooh negative intrusive thoughts suicidal ideation fatigue memory loss insomnia cognitive impairment... I have been on many FB groups to help with adrenal fatigue mercury issues biochemical issues depression anxiety and much more... then I get windows which are just a return to well being nothing more than feeling well and content no excessive highs but accompanied by a good appetite ability to sleep and cope with mild stress I recently found the protracted withdrawal groups and have learnt a great deal not least about windows and waves... no one was able to tell me why I would get a week of wellness and 10 days of extreme acute illness.... I really need tools to help with this as I cant see myself lasting much longer...it is like sitting on an electric charge through my CNS.... I have tried chiropractic therapy homeopathy psychotherapy bowen therapy the latter has seen some improvement but plotting over the last 6 years it has been a very slow very very slow trajectory to recovery,,, I am 58 soon to retire...ive I don't work I feel much worse ....work acts as a distraction... if anyone can suggest something other than a supplement, ive tried most with no success..., I would be grateful ... I have given up gluten etc I do yoga and walk I think I have become chemical sensitive... it is all just too difficult... thank you very much...it is a bad day ... reaching out
  9. Hello. I need some info on a procedure i found out works for my situation. I am taking Carbamazepine ( or Tegretol ) every third day ( when at work ) to cope with stressful situations. I read about everywhere it needs to be taken each day, but i feel not to take it that often. I control my anxiety at home, but at performing my job my emotions seem to overwhelm me, so i take this drug. I feel fine and in the evening i don't feel depressed any longer while at work ( i used to become very depressed in the evening due to staying late; these are the requierements of the job ). I started taking Carbamazepine so i don't feel the need of any benzo ( they ask for higher and higher doses to be taken to work every time, which is nuisance ). Is it possible to continue taking Carbamazepine every third day and be safe? What are the risks of this way of dealing with this situation ?
  10. Hi to all I'm Chuck, Italian guy of 33 years old, have PSSD after adverse reactions to Citalopram 7 drops of 3 years ago,now I'M total drug free I'm Old pp members, I hope someone remember me in these years I had some improvement better erections, more sensitivity. My story of AD and psychiatric drugs start around 2001, in my first college years I have degree in Biology and now I'm in the third year of MD school, for some months in 01/02 psichyatry put on me on Amisulpride and Seroquel, and After mutabon mite(amytryptaline) and i stay on It for 3 months, i try some SSRIs but I always vomit it at the first dose, after this evrything gos is fine, and I stay drug free for around 10 years, in december 2013 after a period of discouragement I go to psychiatric and he is prescribed me Citaloprom 10 drops, I take only 7 drops and I have horrible adverse reaction with 11 discharges of diarrhea and since I developed in PSSD. But on Monday I had a virtual colonoscopy, for rectal bleeding due to hemorrhoids, Virtual colonoscopy did not find anything abnormal, no polyps, and no cancerous lesion, the colon is perfectly clean and healthy. But the preparation for Virtual Colonoscopy was brutal, I used two laxatives , one Lovoldyl pill, and 3 glasses of Lovol ESSE (polyethylene glycol ), I think is the same product of Miralax, I had a serious adverse reaction to this product with Eighteen discharges of bloody diarrhea abdominal pain and cramps that I have and even PSSD symptoms seem worse, and despite this strong rectal bleeding due to inflamed hemorrhoids, the doctor decided to make the virtual colonoscopy, drenching with less air. Can this preparation for colonoscopy have worsened PSSD? I read that the polyethylene glycol is neurotoxic, and can damage the kidneys, I am very afraid of developing kidney damage in the future, this is possible? I'm also afraid of not being able to eat and drink as before, or develop Diverticulosis another possible side effects of colonoscopy,I have strong pangs in the stomach and burning, I have read of people after the colonoscopy for years can eat only liquid food, This screening for early detection of cancer is very barbaric, and brutal, both the classic version and virtual, it would definitely prohibited and find safer alternatives. Thx to all.
  11. *moved from symptoms forum I'm 5 years now completel y med free, still have withdrawal, but symptoms come and go quickly, but the minute it gets cold weather, I start having brutal static electricity, Even my bottom of my leg touches car and gets shocked, i have of course had static electricity before withdrawal before. It seems worse since I went into withdrawal, has anyone else experienced this in withdrawal, a worsening of static electricity, and has anyone still had this worsening at 5 years?
  12. Hey, I don't post much on here. I used to be a member on PaxilProgress. I thought I would start a topic to post some updates. I will post my original story and 3 year update below. The short version is that I took 10mg citalopram for situational depression (I had dropped out of college) for about 6 months and then I stopped. Ever since I stopped I went into hell and experienced some very debilitating symptoms. I am now just over 4 years off and I have been unable to work or live any kind of functional life during this time. In my update 1 year ago I was feeling optimistic at the time since I have been going through a little bit of a good period. Now 1 year later I feel less optimistic about my future. Since last year I have noticed very little improvement. The worst symptom for me is my inability to socialize which I fear will never recover. I always feel very withdrawn and act awkward in social situations. I have to think of what to say and try very hard to act normal. Before the drugs it just came naturally without thinking. This is a very strange symptom and I've not seen many other people mention it. It makes it very hard for me to have friendships with other people. I had a few periods early on where it went away almost completely for a week or so and it was as if someone turned a light back on in my brain. However, I have not really noticed any improvements in the past year. Something that is also very strange is that when I go into social situations for any period of time, it will trigger many symptoms and I will start to feel very bad. I wouldn't even believe it, if it wasn't happening to me but something as simple as socializing can cause physical symptoms. The symptoms generally don't come on till a few hours later. I will often notice my mood being lower than normal then I will start to feel cold and shivery and my appetite and sex drive will go down very low. In general I just feel very bad and know something is wrong. It generally takes a few days (away from social situations) before I feel back to normal. I also often get mouth ulcers. I have had about 2 or 3 a month on average for the past 4 years. They tend to go hand in hand with some pretty brutal fatigue where I just feel like I can barley lift my arms or do much of anything. Sexual function is also reduced from normal and intermittent. Sometimes my sex drive will feel close to normal but most of the time it's a little low. I have difficulty concentrating and find it hard to focus on things for any length of time. I also still have many other symptoms that come and go. I get migraines frequently, my appetite is often quite low even at the best of times, I often have digestion problems and constipation regardless of my diet. I feel like if I didn't have the social withdrawnness and symptoms triggered after a social situation then I could live a much more functional life despite the other problems. It is obvious to me that my brain is screwed up big time after going through all this for years. It's funny because I know if this had not happened to me and I was reading this then I probably wouldn't believe it was possible. I'd probably just think I am some crazy guy with social anxiety who is attributing it to drugs. I guess anyone who has been through this withdrawal knows how messed up the whole experience is. In the early period of withdrawal I read a success story by LossLeader that kept me going. He recovered after 4 and a half years. Now that I'm approaching that point I feel like perhaps these remaining symptoms are permanent. I guess I will need to hang in there for another year or two and see if things change or not. I have thought as a very last resort I may try and go back on the drug. Many of you will think that it crazy. I think it is as well. I don't even know if I would have the guts to do it. At the same time I think maybe I am just dependent on those drugs now and perhaps it would help me live a normal life for a while. I guess I would only consider that option if I knew for sure that I was never going to get any better over time and I felt like my life was still severely limited. I'll have to wait and see how things go.
  13. Hi all, thanks for having such an amazing and helpful forum!!! I was prescribed Venlafaxine (Effexor) for anxiety and depression (moderate in my opinion). I started taking it. I'm so stupid... I had read about withdrawal symptoms, but I wasn't imagining it as so awful. After 5 days I got bleedings from the uterus, even though my period wasn't due. They were about as strong as a normal period, but more painful. The GP (doctor) made me stop Effexor. After 2 days I started to have the symptoms everyone reports: Crying, suicidal, self harming, fits of rage, nausea, dizziness, heart racing, trouble breathing. My GP didn't know anything about withdrawal symptoms and wanted to admit me to the psychiatric hospital. I sent him a bunch of information and finally convinced him to leave me alone and deal with it myself. I think he feels a bit guilty now, but that doesn't help me.... It's day 9 after stopping and my brain is still totally messed up. Question to you all: Do you think I need to go back on Venlafaxine and taper down slowly to prevent lasting damage to my brain? I also got some Sertraline from the GP, which I could use to switch to temporarily. I think even if the bleeding comes back, I can handle it. Iron values are ok. I had thought that after just 5 days of taking Venlafaxine, the withdrawal should be short and mild. But after reading a lot, I'm getting a bit scared. Any advice welcome! Laura PS: I really think I had a guardian angel who sent me those bleedings and made me stop before I took the medication for longer.
  14. I'm willing to travel for this one (hopefully within Washington state)....Can anyone recommend someone that can serve as an alternative to psychiatrists and mainstream doctors for help with withdrawal from an SSNRI? I've become frustrated with these people. They do not listen, assume what I am experiencing is simply the return of depression, and offer only to throw more dangerous meds my way. I need someone that has extensive knowledge of this subject along with compassion for the individuals afflicted.
  15. 6 years ago had baby number 2. Ended up post natal. They put me on sertraline. Wasn't working on me great so eventually went up to 200mg. Since Dec 14 I tapered off. Finishing in April 15. I've been suffering with anxiety and tears negative thoughts ever since. In waves and windows. Now nearing 7 months and going through a wave if tears last week and this. I feel maybe I should go back on but my heart of hearts and also hubby and friends say stick it out as I have good days too. Mornings are bad at times.
  16. Hi everyone! I've been reading this forum for months and it has helped me immensely. I've been drug free for 6 months. Have had many WD symptoms that have come and gone, but the past few days have been awful. Headaches (brain pain is more accurate though) and brain shivers (very strange feeling, not sure how else to describe it), memory is all of a sudden awful, feel like I can't gather a thought in my head, feels like I won't be able to even remember my name, can't focus on anything for any length of time, brain humming sound at night (although this isn't new). I haven't felt this bad since I stopped. Has anyone else experienced this? Do things get worse before they get better? I thought that 6 months out the waves of WD would be easier than the previous months? I'm taking Vit D, Omega 3 fish oil, Vit C (just stopped to see if it was affecting my headaches etc). Thank you for creating this forum! I'm so grateful it exists and for any support. Trying to stay hopeful, but these past fews days have been challenging.
  17. I am really scared and confused; because I don´t know what to believe,am I in protracted withdrawal or relapse? Besides my aprehensivness, my phyisical symptoms are: ANXIETY,opression in my solar plexus, tiredness, diharrea, lack of apetite, due to anxiety, disrupted sleep, flu-like sensation, powerfull emotions, (neuro-emotions?) I think I´m producing a lot of cortisol, is it because temporary brain damage? Phosphatydilserine can help? I don´t have an exact record, but my last dose of Effexor was around July 26th, August and Sptember were awful, October was quite good, and this month bad again; maybe, maybe nuero sensations had lessen also anxiety but I´m getting disrupted sleep, worse. Profesionals tell me to start with ssri again; I feel trapped, in a dead end, very very scared. Please help me, tell I´m not going crazy. I´m also under a lot of pressure due to money problems; is this a triggering issue? I´m in dispair.
  18. ☼ dowdaller: Hello

    Hi everyone my name is pete I am from Ireland, I am currently med free for the last 8 months I was on a cocktail of meds before that including zanex, olanzaipine, and Effexor I weaned off these meds over a two year period under supervision. I found this tough but I made it, I am currently finding it tough at the moment hence I joined the forum. I suffer from anxiety ocd and depression.
  19. Greetings! I am very fortunate I found this site. I will not go into to much detail but here are some facts about my current situation. I have had anxiety/panic my entire life, from the earliest I can remember I used to have horrible separation anxiety, agoraphobia, and just plain being scared of silly things, like when I was younger I was terrified of thunderstorms and elevators I had to do exposure therapy while I was little and that was pretty difficult but it defiantly was not enough. My mother didn't put me on pharmaceuticals until I was 12 or so because the SSRIs were fairly new and she wanted to wait as long as she possibly could do try one of these medications. Flash forward to 2005, my father dies on the treadmill right in front of me, I am still in high school, and my anxiety up to that point was manageable, put when that happend my anxiety went through the roof. I couldn't finish high school in public but I was fortunate enough to have some retired teachers come to my house so I could graduate with my class. Of course during this time I was seeing a psychiatrist. Now he is an intelligent man and I have a number of medications to be thankful for, especially getting me out of that trauma. I was on a Tricyclic Anafranil 150 mg, from 2006 to 2013 for anxiety. During November 2013, I tried getting off the medication because it wasn't working and it was effecting my speech (probably from the anticholinergic effects). I tried to get off of it several times before but was given bad withdrawing advice (cut dose in half and 2 weeks you will be good), well that never happened of course. The old, see you need your medication, none of these brain zaps you speak of cannot occur with these drugs. So I followed the doctors advice and continued taking the Anafranil for a few more years. In November 2013 I tried to get off Anafranil for good. I wanted to do half the dose but just stay on that dose for like a month and then go down another quarter or something and try it that way. I had no idea how wrong both the doctor and I were. As soon as I lowered the dose I became a basket case. I started crying for no reason, I lost a bunch of weight (about 25 pounds in a month), vertigo, heart palpitations which scared the crap out of me because my father died from a birth defect we were not aware of at 49. I went back to the psychiatrist who I had seen for 6 years and was slapped with a bi-polar diagnosis. After doing a lot of research and looking into these drugs I didn't realize that the withdrawal could be so severe, or that most doctors had no idea that these drugs were capable of producing such a profound effect upon discontinuation. I reinstated the drug after 6 months of shear terror and my heart rate returned to normal, my crying stopped and it was like none of it ever happened. Now my main concern is with my heart because part of my anxiety would be dying in a similar fashion my father did. I have a great cardiologist who I have been seeing for years. He was fortunate enough to understand what was happening to me. I had every test imaginable and everything came back normal. Even when my heart was skipping a lot during the withdrawal, the holter monitor didn't pick up anything. He said its not so much your heart, its the receptors on your vagus nerve which is the main problem which makes since because they up regulate and down regulate depending if you are starting or stopping a drug. He said these drugs can effect the QT prolongation of the heart sometimes, but every EKG and Echo looked good so thank god for that. I stared back on the 150 in mid 2014 and currently I am on 60 mgs as of now. Now I think I misread because I tapered 10 mg every month instead of 10 percent of the dose, which is what a lot of people recommend. So what I am going to do as of now is try to stabilize on 50 mgs for a few months, since I am almost done with the 60 mg, and then taper down 5 mg every month which is roughly about 10 percent of the dose, I have calculated. I just hope this process goes a lot smoother than it did before because when I first tried my psychiatrists way it was absolutely horrible.
  20. 16 months off , cold turkey . Although some sypmtoms began progressing slowly , other ones are just getting worse : constant anxiety , monsterous irritability ( even the sound of a door opening drives me crazy ) and this triggers physical symptoms ( severe head pressure most of the time ) . I'm right now dealing with so many stressors and I know this has a huge impact on recovery , I constantly doubt if my mind can ever heal with my unmeasurable anxiety and the never stopping surges of stress hormones Is there hope ? can the brain still heal with so much stress and anxiety ?
  21. Im hoping some day I will be normal. I feel so withdrawn from other people and don't enjoy life at all anymore. I'm not sure I'll ever be normal again as I've heard some people say on this site. I used to be full of love and had fun and enjoyment out of life. Now I'm not sure if I even want to live. I dread the start of each new day when I should be thanking God I have a new day! I've gotten off ad's a couple other times in the last 20 yrs but always gotten back on because of feeling like this. Now 7mths out I feel I should be better but life still sucks! It is hurting my faith in God, my faith in other people. And I hate going to doctors now because they all want me back on meds. Except my therapist is supportive of me being drug free. If any body here could send me some encouragement that this to shall end, it would be great cause I've read on here some people still 5 yrs out still having the same issues as when they first got off ad's. I'm so afraid I'll give in and go back on the ad's and Id hate that after the horrible withdrawal I had.
  22. I stopped taking Paxil 6 months ago. Since then, I've been unable to sleep more than about 4 hours a night. Has anyone gone through insomnia every night like this for this long? How long does the inability to get a sufficient amount of sleep last after getting off all psychiatric medications?
  23. Hello everyone. I hope you all find the strength needed to successfully archive your goals towards a better self. I am really torn about what to do next. My story, short: I was on benzo from 1999-2012 and on SSRI from 2002-February this year (2016). The underlying diagnose is anxiety/panic disorder. The journey has been hell (you know what I mean) and I'm not going to repeat what all of you already know...you know how hard it is and how many symptoms one can feel. From feeling like going crazy to extreme hopelessness. From insomnia to jaw pain... Where I am now is as follows: the first two months after my last dose Lexapro were hell but I was nevertheless able to go to work, don't know how actually. Months 3-4 were surprisingly stable I went to work and lived quite normally. I smiled to myself and thought I was archiving victory, as I previously did with benzo. ...but sadly now some weeks ago, in my 5th month things are getting quite nasty. Symptoms are coming back, specially strong anxiety, panic attacks (not every day), nightmares, mood swings and specially muscle ache (jaw and back). I don't know what's happening. I have read everywhere symptoms after 3 months are "yourself" and not withdrawal, same as my doctor says. I really, really don't want to go back. Leaving the medicine was a titanic task...I don't want to go back,l but at the same time I refuse living in this constant pain. This is not life worth living for me. I daily do everything in my power to get better, as I've done this far when tapering both benzo and SSRI; I run 5km each other day, hit the gym, eat healthy, meditate, get lots of rest, have changed my life away from stress, I have no great financial problems, I have this wonderful wife, a wonderful life really...and I can't enjoy it. My question for you, experienced people is: what should I do? I have an appointment with my doc this Monday and I'll have to make a decision by then. Should I hold on and wait for better days (will they come?) or should I take a low dose Lexapro? Even 2,5-5mg were enough for keeping me stable. I mainly got of SSRI to show "that I could", a decision I'm beginning to regret. Is it possible this still could be withdrawal? Thanks a lot Love to you all /Machinehead
  24. Hoping I'm not alone (although I wouldn't wish this on anyone else). I was taken off citalopram and mirtazapine a few years ago. I can't remember the dosage but I had been on them for at least a year and it was the second time I had come off them, the first was a tapered withdrawal as I felt well this second time was cold turkey. I was in hospital after collapsing and I was taken off them literally overnight - one day my dosage was as usual, the next day nil. I had really bad withdrawal symptoms for months especially brain zaps and spine zaps, feeling of delay between moving body and senses catching up, inability to regulate body temperature, constant crying, nausea, abdominal pain, body pain, insomnia. I was also eating poorly and severely dehydrated for a considerable period of time before and after. I'm now questioning whether the continued unexplained neuropathy that I developed at some point is related to any of this. I can't remember when the neuropathy started but it felt debilitating several months after coming out of hospital. So much of it is such a blur that I can't recall with any certainty when I noticed symptoms. I know I had symptoms of restless legs, especially knees that I felt I constantly had to twist and fold and refold endlessly to try to find a position that I could remain comfortable with, while on medication and a feeling of utter inward stomach churning heart wrenching terror and inability to focus and concentrate for many many months but that this was treated as a psychological symptom rather than anything of medical concern. Whilst the inability to concentrate and anxiety lessened over the years (although still acute at times), the neuropathy has worsened with recurring episodes of days of spinning head and feelings of delay between movement and senses, daily nerve pain and burning tingling in legs, feeling of rushing water down spine, zaps at back of neck on moving head, recurrent migraines, tinnitus, one leg feels hotter than other but not to touch, feeling that ideally want legs trapped under an iceberg(!) in bed and have to wedge them under piles of cushion to get pressure, head spinning (feels like spinning clockwise at slight angle) and brain that goes to sludge when have to concentrate or interact with people for any length of time. The symptoms are variable and each day brings a different combination. But it's not going. I was referred to a neurologist a year or so ago but, having had a bad experience of hospitals and doctors, cancelled the appointments for further testing as nothing abnormal apparent on basic physical exam and have not sought medical advice since as I'm a) afraid afraid c) afraid and d) afraid. Oh and e) alone and f) afraid of opening the whole mental health issue again with another dr. I also have long term digestive problems and a fairly constant background suicidal feeling that I have to tolerate as it comes and goes in waves and has done for about seven years now. I'm pretty good at hiding most of this but it does make it hard to function. Amitriptaline makes the nerve pain more tolerable although toward late afternoon and evening it gets worse and night time it sometimes keeps me awake. Has anyone else here been made to stop meds overnight and if so what happened to you after? I don't know what is "me" anymore and what is left over from before.
  25. Hi. I began suffering from pgad last week. It's quite awful. I arrived at this forum looking for information on this, and it seems many on here have had this problem. I am not currently on or coming off of antidepressants. I was on them as a teen (a long time ago). I'm 33. I was also on ativan and/or clonazepam, and temazepam, up until about a year and a half ago. I wish I could get back on one of these as I wonder if it wouldn't help--I saw a couple people on threads who I *think* were saying clonazepam helped. However, I don't think I could get one of these anyway, as doctors are so reluctant to prescribe them now. Any thoughts on this? Another question I have is could my recent lortab usage have anything to do with the onset of this? Should I stop using this med; and if I do, might it go away, or have I started something that will now stay with me (I realize no one can answer any of this for sure; but I'm interested in your opinions)? Finally, has anyone used topical anesthetics to help with this condition and had any success? I'm considering buying some EMLA or tattooing anesthetic to see if it will help. It's hard to find info on if these are safe for genitals--but one would think so since these are also made for alleviating body-piercing pain and some get their genitals pierced (ouch). Oh and I have had restless leg like some others with this (as does my mother). And this does *feel* a lot like restless leg!! I wish like hell it was in my legs now. I also have been experiencing bladder trouble. In fact, the bladder trouble came about a week or two before the pgad. I have had bladder trouble in the past, however, on and off again in my life (like the restless leg, which has also been off and on again). I hope the pgad will follow suit and be on again off again. . . I'll be ever-grateful for *any* advice and opinions! And I know this is an anti-med site. I totally applaud everyone for getting off the ssri merry go round. I am glad I am off of these and never intend to go back on them. But please if you know of any other kind of med that might help at all, please please let me know. . .
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