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Hi all, I’m an almost 39 year old woman from the Netherlands. Going through withdrawl right now. Need support, thanks in advance!!! 2007 Started Paroxetine in end 2007 due to an anxiety disorder and emetophobia. Starting was hellish, also because high dose of metocolopramide combined with extreme loss of weight (46kg with 1,78m). Used 10mg for a year. Tapered in 3 months after one year, no acute withdrawl. 2009 Summer 2009 anxiety came back (don’t know if that was relapse due to stopping or new triggers for anxiety). Started again on 10mg. Was a rough start. Not many negative side effects during years of use. Used it from 2009 ‘till summer 2021. Had 2 separate years when I increased to 20mg. Going up and coming down to 10mg without any problems. Sometimes when I forgot a dose for two days (happened 2 times), noticed mild brainzaps. Gone within a days. In those years I experienced 4 to max 8 severe panic attacks per year. Used 20mg Oxazepam (Seresta) for those panic attacks. 2021 June 2021 wanted to come of Paroxetine due to sexual disorder and stabile life and mind (and negative info in the news about permanent damage). Tapered from 10mg to 4,5mg in four weeks, no problems. Wanted to taper from 4,5mg to 1,5mg in four weeks. Got withdrawl at 2,8mg, so stabilized at 3mg. Withdrawl ended in 7 days. Stabilized at 3mg since, without relapse. Noticed that I got more emotional, but guess that’s a normal thing in life. Had lots of therapy in 2022 for cluster C personality disorder. But managed with 3mg. Therapy ended sept ‘22. 2023 Plan was to taper from 3mg to 1mg in 6 months. And would taper final mg next year. January 26th started tapering. In four weeks from 3mg to 2,5mg. Sometimes excessive dreaming, sometimes a crying spell. Withdrawl? Don’t know. But could handle that. Next four weeks wanted to go from 2,5-2,0mg. When I got to 2,2mg after 2-3 weeks, started noticing two brainzaps. Started stabilizing on 2,2mg immediately. Stabilized on 2,2mg for 14 days, but withdrawl symptoms got worse. Ended up at the GP in the middle of the night. Anxiety, crying, depressed. Decided to go back up to 2,5mg cause didn’t have symptoms at that dosage. In the following 10-11 days (‘till today, 6th of april) I had several okay days. Brighter mind, less symptoms, still problems with waking up often during sleep and some physical symptoms. But also had a few days with many symptoms and complete hell: anxiety, wobbly head, depressed, crying a lot, dispair, hot flashes, shivers, trembling. GP —> rather 3 okay days —> 1 hell day —> 2 okay days —> 1 hell day —> 4 okay days —> today is hell again. And I’m so so scared. Desperate. Begged to get hospitalized for support and safe enviroment. But that’s only possible if you’re suidical. I’m not, although I wish I would these days… So many questions now. GP wants to help, but hasn’t got the right knowledge. So: A) it is normal to have okay and bad days in stabilisation fase? I tought it would be a slow line going up, didn’t expect those bad days. Certainly not after 10 days stabilisation. So scared of further deterioration next days… b) what is an average time to be stable again? C) is it possible to have an adverse reaction to stabilising on 0,3mg more then the 2,2mg in the two stabilisationweeks prior? D) what and when could be signs that I have to go back to 3,0mg from end of january (that was my last baseline 8 weeks ago already)? Did some online research last few weeks and now realise I went way to fast. Already thought is was a slow taper… Wish I had this info before… Some reactions would be awesome, really appreciate that!!!

Hi, I'm new here. A friend found this site for me a few weeks ago. I wish I had found it many many years ago. I'm in extreme crisis. I did a drop on Paxil from 20-10mg in October 2023. The bottom dropped out in November. I caught a virus and that's when things started to spiral. I think it was a virus and not just withdrawal because I had a high fever and a lot of coughing in addition to body aches but maybe I'm wrong. My physician brought me back up to 15mg on November 18 but I switched to the equivalent 7.5ml liquid at that time because I couldn't split the tiny pills evenly. Not confident I'm doing the syringe properly either. I am totally destabilized and in dangerous shape. Constant high level terror, anxiety, shaking, electrical current running through body, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness at finding help. Waking up is terrifying. Lots of akathisia. I've been to the ER twice but don't want to go in-patient for fear of having more meds poured in that will make me much sicker. I realize now that I wasn't tapering properly even though I was doing it with a doctor. I wish I had found the tapering info. here much sooner. If I can stabilize, I will taper differently after I figure it all out. Right now it's the urgent matter of stabilizing and surviving. My nervous system seems to be an out of control freight train every hour of the day. No idea what to do.

I new to participating in the forum type sites so please forgive me if I’m doing this wrong. Anyway I started to have what I think is brain zaps a month and a half ago not really knowing what it was but from all the research I’ve done it’s the only thing that makes sense. I stopped taking paroxetine 40mg tablets and started taking fluoxetine 40mg. Wishing 2-3 days I started to notice this, it caused me to panic and spiraled from there. I stopped the fluoxetine and went back to the paroxetine and finally a couple weeks ago started to feel pretty good again. After talking to my doctor decided to try the fluoxetine again because I had been to my primary doctor, an ENT, and had an MRI done because we all thought the off balance feeling I would get was something else going on like some kinda inner ear problem. Anyway I tried it again because I was feeling the best I had felt in the last two months and wanted to fast track the feeling better process and get back to work and that was a horrible mistake. What I think are brain zaps came right back and that’s my biggest issue. It’s like if I try to do to much and I’m looking around and moving my head around eventually I will start feeling sick, my head will hurt and I’ve literally got to lay down and close my eyes. What I’m thinking are brain zaps is so hard for me to describe because I wouldn’t have said it felt like an electrical shock, the way I tried to describe it is if I turned my head or my eyes it was like my brain couldn’t keep up. I could trigger it by turning just my eyes from one side to the other, up and down didn’t seem to bother me. And it’s just a horrible feeling for to me that once it happens so much from me moving around trying to behave and do things I would normally do it feels like a bad motion sickness. Best thing I can compare it to because I’ve gotten motion sickness all my life. It’s really debilitated me and this being the 3rd different antidepressant I’ve been on since 2014, if this is what I’ve got to look foraward to is the medication stopping working and having to try a new one I’d rather figure out how to deal with my problems on my own. I’ve said for a long time now that my goal in life is to get off this medicine anyway. I’d really like to know if it’s brain zaps that I’m having as I haven’t stopped the medication as to just changed to a new one.

Took a lot of antidepressants during 2015 for anxiety. The last one was paroxetine, which induced a hypomania, according to doc (was more like an extreme irritability).After that, I started my treatment for "bipolar 2" with lots of medication failures due to extreme side effects (I'm too sensitive to this kind of drug) . The only drug my body kind of "accepted" was quetiapine xr 50 mg.In april 2021 doc made a mistake and gave me the wrong pills with a dosage of 300mg! Started having adrenaline rushes and heart issues. The pills (at least in my country) look the same! I realized only after 17 days, went back to 50 mg but developed what I recently discovered was a severe 3 months withdrawal. The doctor, to "manage" the withdrawal (although he never said was withdrawal, he said it was anxiety and panic), put me on 25mg of amisulpride, 1.25mg of olanzapine and 1mg of clonazepam (couldn't tolerate more than these). After 1 month of clonazepam, doc started a "taper" reducing 1 drop per week (in my country, clonazepam has this liquid formulation). After I completely stopped the clonazepam I entered on a terrible withdrawal, the doctor said it was normal and suggested increasing olanzapine to 2.5 mg. Took only one week and went down to 1.25mg again.Found another doc who said I'm not bipolar and probably have some anger issues and general anxiety, but manageable through therapy. He said the meds made all the bad stuff I've been feeling during the last 6 years. Proposed to taper all meds during a long time, but since I'm too bad (feeling very tired) and the last drug was olanzapine (which he told me is a terrible and dangerous drug) and is in the same class as the others, he proposed try to be a "little" fast (not so little cuts every 4 weeks) because he thought my tiredness was from that. Went from 1.25mg (1/2 a pill) to 0.9325mg (3/8th a pill) and it was good. Then went from 0.9325mg to 0.625mg (1/4th a pill) and had only some tremors during 3 hours on two days. When I went from 0.625mg to 0.3125mg(1/8th a pill) I felt very bad for two days with extreme anxiety, insomnia and nausea, then I started slowly improving. Now it's one and a half weeks past and I feel a bit tired and have some chest pressure. Doc said to wait two months to make any changes in medications. So, what's next? Since I'm at this low dosage should I taper more? At what dosage should I jump off from olanzapine? I bought a digital scale and the 1/8th a pill weighs 12mg. So I can do the 10% rule for 3 months until I hit the 9 mg of pill weight (0,2344 a dosage). After that the decrements will be 1mg, more than 10%. In this extreme case is it acceptable?

Hi Ginger, I was very encouraged by your experience with paxil recovery I saw on one of the threads. In January of this year I quit paxil cold turkey. I had been taking it for 24 months, the majority of it at 60 mg. I went through about a good two months of physical withdrawal symptoms. I thought I was in the clear after this but then I was hit by an episode of acute psychosis where I felt I was being stalked by someone. This went away and moved onto a fear of sollipsism "That the world is not real". I was originally taking the paxil for OCD. Now I worry that I have somehow permanently done something to my brain by going cold turkey. or that I have already lost my mind. Can you give me a little bit more detail about your experience or some advice to help me. I had to reinstate zoloft and also take ativan. Ginger's topic: Ginger: how I got here

Helooo i am new here in july 2023 before six months i feel fastness in my body and behaviour i consult with my psychiatrist he gave me mixture of prozac and olanzapine then after three days i become restless and became suicidal i immediately quit then my dr gave sertaline and olanzapine then after 20 days my panic attack start and ocd became severe my dr told me about cold turkey and i did because i did not know about tapering but then hell start my worst panic attack start which last almost till evening then my dr gave lexapro which hit as a blast and i told my mother i want to die nothing did help me no one benzo calm me intense panic and restlessness then my dr gave kolonopin and paxil which stop restlessness and panic attack immediately i feel relief them after three days i feel inner agitation but panic attack stop which is a big relief but agitation not leting me rest i told my dr he said thats is anxiety i told him thats is not anxiety he did not listen me and contine my prescription but told me to cut the pill half which coated and i did that my agitation became less then my dr told me take 1/4 i took it then agitation still present but became very calm then dr told me i think u have bipolar disorder and precribe lamictal and seroquel which i not took because i have history of anxiety disorder and depression i use paxil cr in 2021 when mother diagnose with mets cancer and prozac and olanzapine in 2018 when i became suicidal which was my first episode now my dr tell me to take 1/4 paxil coated pill every other day and then every second day and quit and take lamictal and seroquel when i take pill every second day then hell broke intense physical pain which last only three days then intnese restlessness start and ocd i also mention here that i also take 0.5 kolonopin at night Dear guys help what i should i do?

Thank you for this website and lifeline. After 20 years on Paxil, this July I went to a psychiatrist to get off this drug. (I had tried in the past to reduce the doses to see if I could live without it but always was unsuccessful. I realize I was in withdrawal not relapse those times) The psychiatrist had me go from 30mg Paroxetine to 0 in 4 weeks. She wanted me to start Prozac at 10mg and go up if necessary for the withdrawal. I took Prozac for 5 days and had side effects so I stopped it. In Canada you get a one time visit with a psychiatrist and your GP manages the damage. I had insane withdrawal that I kept reading should end at 2 weeks, then I read up to 8 weeks but something changed at about 3 months and it got even worse. I was already dealing with nausea, insomnia, burning feet, sweats, chills, but it progressed to desperation, thoughts of suicide, hopelessness, everything overwhelmed me, I couldn’t watch tv, I struggled to read, couldn’t follow a conversation. I found this website and read a bit about reinstatement though I knew 3 months off the drug wasn’t ideal for this. So I started back on Paroxetine at 5 mg which was probably too high. I later read probably should have went with 1mg but I am here now. It’s been 2 months back on the 5 mg. Some improvement- no more suicidal thoughts, hopelessness or desperation. The nausea though still present has settled a lot. My thinking is getting better. Still can’t do TV, still have dizziness, can’t sleep more than 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time, reading is better. So my question is what is stable enough to start to taper? Should I hold longer at 5mg? What size of the Paroxetine tablet is better to use for cutting? At present I cut 10mg in half but I noticed the higher the dosage the more filler is in the tablet. ie 10mg is 120 mg tablet, 30 mg is a 560 mg tablet. Is it better to grind the pills to powder or is the drug evenly distributed in the tablet making it safe enough to cut into small pieces for tapering? What is the usual jump off dosage for Paroxetine? Can jump off be done using the tablet/ powder or do you have to make liquid at some point? I’ve read Paroxetine self metabolizes-so basically the body thinks you are tapering faster than you are-so is the slide method more effect for Paroxetine or only necessary say after 3mg? Any and all help is so welcome. Thank you so much for this forum. 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/ July 28 2022-August 24 2022 30mg to 0mg/ November 28 2022 to present 5mg Paroxetine

Hi all. I’m thankful I came across this group. Wow - where to begin... well, at age 7 I was given Paxil and 20 years later I am still on it. Throughout the 20 years I have tried ever SSRI and SNRI on the planet. I was given Valium and after five years by the grace of God somehow tapered off it myself. In the past 2 years I was put on effexor, pristiq, viibryd, lexapro, celexa, prozac, and landed back on 20mg Paxil. Four months ago I lowered by dosage to 15mg and it has been pure hell. Suicidal thoughts which I have never had, super strange thoughts, terror like I cannot explain. Reading your success stories on here gives me hope. How long should I hold at 15mg before continuing to do a 5-10% taper? How did you all manage to work during this time? With being put on these drugs at such a young age — is it possible to heal, or am I permanently damaged? How do you let go of your anger regarding this situation. I didn’t choose to take these meds. Much love, Sunflower414

Been on and off antidepressants for the last ten years. Prescribed amiltriptalian 2012 to relief arthritis pain. CT as requested by surgeon pre operation 2013.. PTSD diagnosed by dr after surgery prescribed Dosulapin 2013. Was swapped to another antidepressant after a couple of years think it was duloxetine. CT. Cant remember year swapped to gaberpectin to help with OA!!! CTed. Eventually another antidepressant after a couple of years think it was fluroxetine?? No taper. Tried to come of but didn't understand taper diagnosed paroxetine 2019 30mg also given amiltriptalian to help with sleep again but luckily didn't use it. Been reducing current meds since 2021. Now doing ten percent taper every 4 weeks. Ups and downs!!!! use breathing teckniques, mindfullness,graditude diary,crafting , nature, essential oils, baths, books,support services such as berevement phone line, samartians, therapy of NHS for free or cheep charity counsellors but essentially do it all alone, no support from family limited support from friends

First off, I am so incredibly thankful for this forum. I would of never ever got off this medication if I had not found this forum. A big thank you to Alto and all the mods that work hard to help everyone. A big thank you to everyone I talked to daily on here as well Here is my intro thread ☼-cocopuffz17-paroxetine-free-but-not-trouble-free When I came to this forum I had no idea what was going on with me after coming off 11 years of paroxetine use @ 20mg. I was told by my psychiatrist that this drug isn't known to cause this, I know that's not true after going through the hell of AW/PAW. My body was being ravaged by chronic fatigue, autoimmune conditions and a plethora of AW (acute withdrawal) and PAWS(post acute withdrawal) symptoms. I was terrified and did not think I could get through it at the time. But I constantly read stories of success and knew that it was possible and my mindset slowly shifted. I knew that whatever this would throw at me I would be able to take it after making that decision in my mind. Here is some back story of my battle against depression/anxiety and the war I went to with getting off this medication. In high school I struggled immensely with anxiety. I would have panic attacks almost everyday and missed a lot of school because of it. Shortly after graduating I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder/depression and told I had a chemical imbalance from a psychiatrist that I was seeing and would need an antidepressant (paroxetine) to fix this imbalance. I trusted the psychiatrist as this is what they are educated to do. Never once was nutrition ever mentioned, this will make sense later in my story. Things did get a bit better. I no longer had this terrible anxiety and could function better out in public. So this led me to believe the doctor was right and that I needed medication to function as I was told I had a chemical imbalance. Over time I slowly slid into a deeper depression and struggled with sleeping. I went to my family doctor and he said to just take sleeping pills. So I took sleeping pills to sleep. I now know this was insomnia caused by the medication. I continued my life and took my antidepressant for multiple more years before I had a health condition pop up. In 2011 I was diagnosed with having erythema multiforme. The E.R. doctor told me it was from an allergic reaction to penicillin. I believe it was caused from long term antidepressant use. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced at that point in my life. I had a full body rash that was the itchiest thing you could imagine and every time the rash hit a joint I was unable to bend that joint. It was terrifying and painful as could be. It lasted around 2 weeks. Here is a reference pic before any of these health conditions. I don't remember the exact time frame on this. But it was in the 2013-2015 range. I was feeling way better and decided that I didn't need my AD anymore. So I cold turkey'd. All hell broke loose and I literally went crazy and was uncontrollable. All my anxiety symptoms came rushing back and nothing but pure rage for everything in the world. I reinstated and everything slowly returned back to medicated normal. I tried this twice with cold turkeys, I failed hard both times. The third time I spoke with my psychiatrist and he suggested doing a taper of 3 months @ 25% per month. I made it about 1 month and had to reinstate because the "original symptoms" were too strong, which I now know were withdrawals from coming off the medication. Once again this just supported the psychiatrist's theory of the chemical imbalance and I was like okay I guess I'm on this medication for life. Late 2014 to early 2015, I was having trouble swallowing food. My tonsils were so swollen. I ended up getting a tonsillectomy in 2015. Yet another random health condition that popped up out of the blue. I blame this excessive inflammation on the medication I took long term. Fast forward to late 2015.... I started losing my hair. I ended up going to a dermatologist and he diagnosed me with alopecia. This sucked. I went into a further depression. After recording this video I immediately changed my nutrition to a paleo diet. I saw regrowth on my scalp(not full growth though). The results slowed down and I stopped eating paleo and my condition got worse. I ended up losing all my hair on my scalp and was feeling the worst I had felt in my life and slid into a deeper depression. I was not feeling like my current psychiatrist was helping me. So I asked my family doc for a referral to another psychiatrist. I got an appointment a few months later. I went to it and it just so happened there was two psychiatrists in the room. At first I was like yes! Multiple opinions! I told them I was feeling suicidal and thought about it constantly. They both agreed that this was a normal feeling and everyone feels like this at times. This was the point where I realized I was not going to receive the help I needed to get through this from these doctors. It is not normal to feel like this and absolutely ridiculous that the trained professionals can say that. I now know this was caused by my antidepressant. Shortly after this all happened my alopecia was progressing. It was going from alopecia areata to alopecia universalis. I was slowly coming to terms with having no hair on my scalp and knew I could not handle losing my eyebrows and facial hair. I lost 50% of my leg and arm hair. This is the point when I looked myself in the mirror with tears rolling down my face and said I will never let myself be this depressed again in my life. I had no idea how I was going to do it at that time. But I made myself a promise and I refused to break it. I had some success with nutrition changes when I did the paleo diet a few years prior. So this is where I started reading more on nutrition. So after doing that I started reading a lot on people who had reversed autoimmune conditions and how they did it. There were two main contenders I found. A) ImmunoSuppressants B)Nutrition changes. I refused to be on another drug. I thought I needed to be on an antidepressant for life, like hell I was going on another drug for life with all the side effects associated with it. So I chose nutrition changes. In October of 2018 I started The Plant Paradox by Dr.Gundry! In 6 weeks I felt the best I had ever felt in my life. This gave me the confidence to attempt another taper. So I went back to my original psychiatrist(I was still going to him as I needed prescription refills). He suggested the 3 months at 25% per month. I agreed....I just trusted the doctor for tapering as I knew nothing about it at this time. This is where the hardest year of my life is about to begin. It took almost 5 years and a lot of pain, a lot failing and a lot of learning. But I grew my hair back after being told I would just have to learn to live with it from doctors. I thought this would be the hard part....not the case. Getting off of my antidepressant was. The first drop from 20 mg to 15 mg was not bad. A slight headache. I stayed at 15 mg for 30 days. The second drop from 15 mg to 10 mg was much harder. This is when I started reading forums and found so many struggles of what people were going through and truly how hard it is to get off of these drugs. I had fevers, cold shakes(I would have a hot bath 3-4 times a day to stay warm), headaches were picking up in intensity, fatigue was starting to happen daily and insomnia. I stayed at 10 mg for 30 days The third drop was from 10 mg to 5 mg absolutely wrecked me. I had even worse insomnia, lightning bolts in my visions, headaches got worse, I was unable to focus, fatigue was even more crushing(I was sleeping 14-16 hr days), cold shakes, tinnitus, vertigo, light sensitivity(I was wearing sunglasses at night it was that rough) and lagging vision ( I would turn my head and know my head was moved but by eyes were still seeing the image from 5 seconds before). I stayed at 5 mg for 15 days. I added another drop in here.... because I was suppose to go from 5 mg to 0 mg but I felt so awful and panicked so I went to 2.5 mg for 15 days with all the same symptoms. I know this is way too fast of a taper now. I did not know at the time as I was just following my doctors instructions. CONTINUED BELOW ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

Hello all. First time poster here. I have been a member for over a year but never had the nerve to post. I need help. Quick background: Was put on 20mg paxil and .5mg xanax per day around 2006. The xanax was switched to ativan probably around 2011ish. I quit the paxil and ativan c/t end of October 2020. January 2nd 2021 started having extreme unrelenting brain zaps, anxiety, fear, terror, palpitations, inability to sleep....just wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I had quit drinking January 1st and assumed it was that...but I was not that heavy of a drinker. I now believe this was my first experience of withdrawal. Around the 12th day of experiencing this I took 10mg of paxil out of sheer desperation. A couple of hours later it virtually stopped all of the worst symptoms. My nervous system was taxed. I was shaky...but somewhat alright. It took a month or so to feel myself. I stayed on the 10mg. Plus side...I was no longer taking the ativan. Fastforward to January 2023. I attempted to wean down further to 5mg. This was going fine all the way to September 27th when I stopped altogether...again. I could tell my brain was healing and I had plenty of mild symptoms...but I was ok. February 27th 2024...randomly had my heart rate go up to 140 bpm while sitting watching tv. Went to the ER...everything came back fine. "Must be my anxiety I thought". I should note that prior to meds my ocd/generalized anxiety/occasional panic disorder were not what they became ON the meds...hence my realization that they were doing no good if not increasing issues. Anyway...I felt a bit better but then had a root canal this past Monday March 25th. Within a few hours the unrelenting feelings were back like before (in 2021) but even worse. My heart rate was up around 120bpm or so just walking around...lightheaded, dizzy, odd sensations like sounds seemed too loud etc. This horrible sensation of something that begins in my chest like the worst panic sensations you can imagine. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I couldnt go for walks, my heart rate was scaring me. This has gone on for over a week. I relented and took @ 2.5mg of paxil yesterday and @2.5mg today about 24hr apart. There are other symptoms I was feeling but cant remember right now. Within 2 hours the feeling in the core of my body began to melt. It didnt go completely away but it became maybe 3/4 better. Im scared. Im trying...maybe the wrong way but trying. I want this gone. I want this drug gone. Im just trying to stabilize. I dont want to lose my job. My doctor is having heart tests done but doesnt believe its a heart issue. I also, for years...all of which are during the time from first c/t to now have had a feeling like Im not getting full breaths. Pulmonologist says nothing is wrong with my lungs except I smoke. He did a full pulmonary function test. Im just looking for support...a feeling like I can do this...like Im going to be ok eventually. A comradery with someone or someones who understand. I dont know how to effectively cope. Nothing at all seemed to help in the worst times...and I dont want it back. But...I want this drug gone. I want to heal. I want to move on. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads my story. There's more to it...but this is the most pertinent slice...for now. All help is appreciated. -Rob

hi,all been on &off antidepressants for 20 yrs but never felt this crummy.since stopping Paroxetine have had flu-like symptoms ,then fatigue loss of appetite,taste changes,eye problems(excessive blinking actually started while on it,that's why I quit).depression,anxiety,just miserable,wondering if I should reinstate or just try & hang in there.I was on it about 6 mos.stopped May 4 after about 7 wk taper.thanks for any suggestions

Hi, Unfortunately i think I have kindled. A few months ago I got down to 10g very quickly from 20mg P I have been on it for 25 years) and my old Gp told me to miss every other day which I did for about a week but felt unwell and went back on. 7 weeks ago I ended up in hospital for another reason and decided to up to 20mg 3 weeks ago when I was in hospital again (all before I joined this group). I now have been crippled by extreme symptoms especially over night that include a few hours of dosing then woken up with tingling down my back arms, head pain, thumping heart and nausea and the I dose again and it wakes me up again. I don’t really sleep and first thing in the morning I have nausea and debilitating anxiety that turns me into crying mess only being helped by an anti anxiety drug in the morning (which frightens me) It hasn’t helped with the nighttime symptoms. I dread going to bed I feel I am being tortured and do not know where to turn. Do I keep with the 20mg to stabilise and hope things settle. My new GP wanted me to taper right off over two weeks and add another one as I do it but I said no. My poor husband is trying to help me but ends up in tears seeing how I am suffering. Please can someone tell me it will get better. Knoingwhat know now I tapered down to 10mg to quickly, missed doses and instated far to high.Thank you

Thank god for a site like this, I feel like I have been going crazy for the last few years . I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. I was put on Paxil when I was a teenager as my doctor thought it would help me get through some difficult years, counseling would of been a much better approach. I was sexually abused as a child but never told anybody so when I was a teenager I dealt with this by using recreational drugs to ease the pain . My parents thought it would be a quick fix being on an antidepressant to help me out. I used Paxil for years upping and lowering my dose from 20mg to 50mg as needed , thinking that I had to take them because I had a chemical imbalance . I never thought once coming of them or did I know the bad effects they can do to you. Only up until I had my last child three years ago everything changed. I was taking only 30mg of Paxil which my psychiatrist told me it would be fine for the baby . I had to have an emergency cesarean and had complications. I got a servers infection and that brought on my first panic attack and severe aniexty. My baby was going withdrawal from Paxil shaking and wouldn't sleep . The nurses was giving me strong painkillers that I think was making me worse , after 2 weeks in the maternity hospital I was then put in a mothers and baby unit at mental hospital . I only lasted a day as didn't won't to harm myself or my child , I just wanted this aniexty to stop ,I was constantly worrying and looking at it now my hormones would have been all over the place. I upped my medication to highest dose under my psychiatrist advice. I felt better in a few weeks. A year later I thought I was doing fine and lowered my dose and I crashed, couldn't eat waves of aniexty , agitation, dizziness, insomnia ,derealization and night sweats the list goes on. My psychiatrist then put me on Seraquel at night which seemed to work, but I was getting up in the middle of the night eating like crazy and then couldn't get up in the morning. So I stopped taking the 25mg of Seraquel. Back to my psychiatrist I went and he told me that he thought it would be a good idea to change to another antidepressant, his chose was Cymbalta and he wanted me to tapper my Paxil in 5 days and 3 days with nothing then start with 30mg of Cymbalta for 1 week 60mg for two weeks then 90mg for 2 weeks. I crashed very bad into my 2nd week in Cymbalta and went to see my psychiatrist again, who told me its my aniexty and depression coming back, which now I know is bullsh*t. I think I was having withdrawals from the Paxil . I went to a new psychiatrist who told me it was Cymbalta that was doing it to me and tapered me off Cymbalta again in a week and started me at 50mg of Zoloft for 3 days 75mg 3 days and now 100mg as well as still taking my 50mg of Seraquel. I feel like I won't to come off all of this and I know my family and friends aren't going to support me, as they don't understand. I halved my dose of Seraquel to 25mg 4 nights ago and my waves of aniexty are getting worse . I would love meet people on this site who can help me out with this. I have two beautiful children that are my life and I just want to be normal again and I think I would be better if a gave my brain a chance to heal itself but I'm very scared.

Hi all, I have been on paroxetine for about 10 years and am currently on a slow taper. Reading this forum has been a great support at moments where I feel disheartened due to withdrawal symptoms, so I figured I would contribute with my own story. At around 18 years old (2006) I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I refused antidepressants for about a year and a half, but then succumbed under pressure of GP and parents. At around the same time I switched to a new psychologist who made rapid progress with me where others didn't. Within two weeks after starting paroxetine things went much better. Consider the short time period this was likely because of therapy instead of the drugs. I wonder what life would have been like if I had not started paroxetine at all... I didn't want to go back to anxiety, so I kept taking paroxetine (20 mg). About two years later I successfully quit, with a quick taper (about one month?). At this time I knew nothing about the best way to taper and potential withdrawal symptoms. After quitting I seemed to be getting migraines more frequently, and because I knew ADs are sometimes used to prevent migraines, I started paroxetine again. In the years after I attempted to quit a few more times (I don't recall exactly when), but didn't make it past 10 mg. My original anxiety symptoms didn't return, but I developed a sort of general anxiety where I didn't know how I was going to manage to be a normally functioning adult during tough times. About two years ago I started searching online about quitting ADs again and found out about serotonin discontinuation syndrome. I was relieved to know that my previous failed attempts were probably because of the withdrawal difficulties, and that I should be able to live normally without the drugs. I was about to start a new job and move to a new town, so I waited for things to have settled somewhat, before starting the slow taper I'm currently on. My history so far: 2006 (18 years old) - Started paroxetine, 20 mg 2008 - Successful quick taper, but started again due to lack of knowledge about withdrawal symptoms 2010 / 2018 - About 3 unsuccessful tapers? Don't remember the specifics. Didn't make it past 10 mg. No knowledge about correct tapering scheme at this time. 2019, June 23 - Went from 20 mg to 15 mg paroxetine. No withdrawal symptoms 2019, Dec 2 - Went from 15 mg to 10 mg paroxetine. No withdrawal symptoms 2020, Feb 23 - Switched from 10 mg paroxetine to 10 mg (5 drops) liquid citalopram (to allow for smaller decreases in dosage). No symptoms. 2020, April 9 - Stepped down to 4 drops (8 mg). No symptoms. 2020, June 6 - Stepped down to 3 drops (6 mg). No noticeable symptoms. 2020, July 22 - Down to 2 drops (4 mg). No symptoms I remember, but at this point the first withdrawal symptoms might have occurred. 2020, Sep 9 - Bought a pipette to be able to make smaller decreases in dosage. Went down to 3.2 mg (80 ml). Getting impatient, and not noticing clear withdrawal symptoms, I started tapering more quickly. 2020 - Sep 23 - Down to 3 mg (75 ml). I realised the schema I was using as a guideline (the most precautionary one from the Dutch Association of GPs) didn't talk about taking 6 weeks between decreases, which I thought it did. On Sept 29 I called in sick due to nausea and distressed bowels, but no fever. Didn't make a link with withdrawal. 2020, Oct 10 - Down to 2.8 mg (70 ml). On Oct 14 nausea and distressed bowels again, this time with fever. Fever was gone the next day. 2020, Oct 26 - Down to 2.6 mg (65 ml). 2020, Nov 13 - Seen as the schema I took as a guideline went from 3 mg to 2 mg in one go, I went down to 2 mg (50 ml). Compared to what I read on this forum, I seemed to have no big withdrawal symptoms, so I started taking less time between decreases, but only decreasing 0.16 mg (2 ml) at a time. 2020, Nov 24 - 1.92 mg (48 ml) 2020, Nov 28 - 1.84 mg (46 ml) 2020, Nov 30 - 1.76 mg (44 ml) 2020, Dec 3 - 1.68 mg (42 ml). Dec 7 Realisation: withdrawal symptoms. Nausea, restless, cold, tired, but no fever. Very tight back and neck muscles all weekend (I get that more often, as a prelude to migraine, but that pain responds to sumatriptan (my migraine medication). This pain barely responded to that). Lightheadedness after just 10 min of daily walk. Also realisation that Sept 29 might be the first day of clear withdrawal. I was looking out for brain zaps and the general anxiety symptoms I had during previous tapers, but apparently this time flu-like symptoms are my to-deal-with nastiness. 2020, Dec 8 - Upped dosage to 1.80 mg (45 ml). Nausea subsided quickly, followed by restlessness, lightheadedness and tiredness. Dec 31: Muscle stiffness and consequent pain seems to remain. Normal muscle strengthening exercises and cardio for max 30 min lead to several days of pain. It's mostly the long back muscles, right along the spine. Walking and keep moving, as advised for back pain, seems counterproductive. Muscle tension seems high all the time, standing and sitting seems to heighten it. At first I was unsure if the muscle tension is a withdrawal symptom or it's a mix of being inactive/working from home (thanks, covid) and increasing exercise too quickly, but after reading the results on this forum on "muscle tension" and typing down my history, I lean towards withdrawal. It sounds ridiculous to be in pain for several days after simply dancing around the house for 30 min. I think I'll up my dosage a bit more tomorrow, and really hope that the tension will subside. :(

Hi Everyone, First of all I want to thank each person who will take the time to read my story and answer me This is my story and I could write a book.. I am a 33 years old French man I started PAROXETINE when I was 16 years old ( 18 years of treatment ) 2006 I Started PAROXETINE at 20mg by my family doctor following a huge panic attack triggered by a bad trip to Canabis (heavy consumption the same day) in high school, with a suddenly effects of DP/ DR tenfold, symptom accompanied by period of black out.. I was not a regular consumer just a young person with bad attendance and very impressionable who wanted to try. At this point I did not know what DPDR was and no doctor explained to me the why of the how. For me it was a reaction of cannabis. The years have passed I have not had any particular psychological or psychiatric follow-up. DPDR it is installed then it is attenuated until disappearing, I remember having occasional panic attacks that manifested by a DPDR and then went away.. Terrible teen that I was it was not my lesson, DPDR resurfaced on a Christmas night or I re-smoked cannabis with a bad trip that manifested as the first time with blackout periods The years have passed. I tried to stop treatment with my doctor several times. The instructions of my first weaning were to take 1 pills per day then every other day then every other day etc... The symptoms of physical withdrawal brain zap often made me stop attempts to stop treatment because unbearable with reintroduction of the dose at 20mg each time. I had to stay at least 8-10 years at 20mg I felt normal. 2015-2016 During these years I always wanted deep down to stop this treatment because I did not want to be dependent on a drug and for me everything was fine but I began to be afraid of the long-term effect on my memory, An example in a discussion with friends when I was asked, you remember when we did this on that day or you remember this movie… and I had trouble remembering each time… (I still have this problem to this day 18 years later) So I started looking on the internet for a way to stop this treatment that for me was the cause of this loss of memory and that would make me lose my mind in the long term.. I do not have a great memory but I found this forum in 2015 or I found info that explained that during a withdrawal it was especially important not to jump dose and that it was necessary to gradually decrease the doses by taking it all the days I started to cut the tablet from 20mg in 2 from 20mg to 10mg I stayed for a long time at month 2-3 years at this dose trying later to cut it again in 2 and passing to 5mg It should be noted that during all these years I have always been someone very anxious who constantly wonders about the why of the like, life, existence, a terrible anguish by death with occasional anxiety attack and panic attack that manifested through a DP/DR and then passed and I became normal again without being blocked in the DP/DR (I still don’t know what DP/DR was in those 2015-16 years) 2020 My wife gets pregnant, upheaval in our life, during pregnancy questions begin to settle, life, life existence, aging etc… We go on holiday in the USA in the family of my wife For 3 weeks I drink alcohol because the family there party and drink alcohol, almost every day, (but usually I do not drink alcohol I drink some beer from time to time but no more...) At this time (and even before these holidays ) I regularly drank lots of coffee like any normal person. Coffee has always tended to make my heart beat We come back from vacation the same evening I lie next to my wife and a big palpitation happen, I put the hand of my wife on my heart I’m afraid, I have the impression of having a heart attack, but it is a panic attack. I ended up falling asleep.. The next day, everything got weird I’m not myself the DPDR came back knocking and settles and gets worse by the day The loop settles, existential questions turn in loop, the birth of my future child, the fear of growing up, aging and death, it turns in loop, all the days. I’m not hungry anymore. This time it’s about I’m going crazy, I literally think I’m going schizophrenic. (I still don’t know what DPDR is at that time) I decide to make an appointment with a psychiatrist explaining the situation, at that time I was at 10mg PAROXETINE, he tells me that 10mg is not a therapeutic dose it is necessary to go up to 20mg to feel effects I go up to 20mg of PAROXETINE but nothing always passes this weird feeling of being foreign to myself. I take an other appointment with him and he tell me to go up to 40mg of PAROXETINE and prescribe TRANXENE(Clorazépate) to take punctually I try some day I take a TRANXENE my condition worsens.. I continue it’s even worse I decide to go down to 20mg of PARXOETINE it’s still not okay but I continue and stabilize to 20mg of PAROXETINE I am afraid, I take refuge on the internet, what happens to me? I search : "Weird sensation of not being yourself" I discover the word Depersonalization and Déréalization DP/DR I search and search and read lots of forums in French, English, YouTube etc… , I’m a little reassured because I’m not alone in having this but I’m still with this DP/DR symptoms I come across a video the guy explains that : "it’s a weird sensation, its strange but not dangerous… quick tips put sunglasses!" , I do it immediately it calms down a little and I come across a site that catches my attention: "the guide to overcome dpdr" of Shaun O Connor I read it and learn what is really the DPDR, its a symptom of Aniety, then i applied to the letter the steps of the guide. Time passes I get back to the gym, I discover breathing, cardiac coherence, I go see a Psychologist expert in EFT technique to manage my emotions, DP/DR still does not pass I continue to look, I go to see a neuropsychologist I make a brain x-ray for me I have a tumor but results... no, nothing i am normal. The sessions pass, I hang up during this period to snort a paper soaked with lavender because I read that it calms the stress, my state improves only a little I hold the blow, I occupy my mind, I work, my daughter is finally born, I listen to music all day, music is my life. I’m a drummer. I put into practice what I learn in the guide! I stop eating too much candy of all kinds during this period and especially I stop coffee because I learn that it triggers anxiety in my case, I tell myself that’s it, I drink up to 4-5 coffee a day, I put my finger on the cause I drink too much coffee and too much caffeine = palpitation = it triggers my screams of anxiety why I didn’t think about it earlier… For me I found the solution: I stop coffee = I wouldn’t have panic attacks I stop my antidepressant = I am cured no more memory problem. Life goes on DPRDR fades and DPDR disappears without I really realize when 2021 My daughter grew up, she is already 1 year old and I no longer have an anxiety attack, I really feel normal The Covid lockdown is coming and I stay at home I see my daughter growing, stressed of this strange period but no anxiety attack, because for me I put my finger on the problem, no more panic attack as long as I will not drink coffee I will not have any anxiety attack. I start to look to now deal with this PAROXETINE treatment. I read and read on the internet I learn that PAROXETINE has a very short half-life that must be reduced by 10% increments otherwise the side effects happen very quickly. I learn that PAROXETINE exists in liquid version so i begin it. 2022-2023 I do an excel sheet with calculations and final dates, end of year I am free of this poison that for me makes me lose memory and that is finally can be also potentially trigger Anxiety DP/DR I start the liquid version I go down from 20mg to 10mg of PAROXETINE, everything is fine I stabilize at 10mg and I continue by lowering 1mg by 1mg Every month so : 9mg - 8mg -7mg - 6mg...until 0 I arrive at 2 mg of PAROXETINE i do not have any withdrawal symptom but onyl light brain zap, but problem, the bottle is empty I go to the pharmacy as usual to take my treatment but the pharmacist told me that the liquid version is stopped in France for an indeterminate duration.. I drive until 2 hours to take the last stock of pharmacies nearby I go down to 1.5mg of PAROXETINE, I’m almost there, I’m at the end but I have no more PAROXETINE in the bottle... what do I do? I go on internet I search that I could make switches on PROZAC/FLUOXETINE which is also in liquid. I don’t have time, I don’t have anything left in the bottle just enough to switch gradually to PROZAC. I change my excel table with the dose and date calculation for the switch and let’s go. Meanwhile I move, I buy a house and begins heavy renovation work, lots of stress.. I debute a cross switch I lower the PAROXETINE : 1,5mg - 1 - 0,5 - 0 and rise to 5mg of PROZAC and stabilize during 4 week of PROZAC Brain zaps are hard but I’m finally going to be free… I’m holding on I’m almost there.. The days pass and suddenly DPDR arrives from nowhere and settles down and no longer me, what happens to me I thought I was done? I don’t drink coffee anymore how is that possible? This time it’s the right one my brain is screwed. My condition degrades very quickly I put my sunglasses I take out my lavender paper back.. The loop resets day after day with the fear of being afraid… , severe depression, severe anxiety, morning diarrhea, awakening with palpitation great sadness, uncontrolled crying, impulse phobia I am afraid of hurting myself I am afraid of committing suicide, I’m doing work in the bathroom upstairs I look at the window I’m afraid of losing control and jumping.. MARCH 2023 I can’t stay like this… I have a home business if I don’t work I don’t make money… I take refuge on the internet and I search: Best psychiatrist DP/DR specialist I search and I search I find a 400km a specialized hospital that speaks of DPDR the psychiatrist seems to know what she speaks and recognized in the environment I take appointment I melt in tears I’m at the bottom of the hole.. She told me that the dose are too low and prescribed me 20mg of PROZAC and ATARAX(Hydroxyzine) to take punctually 2 weeks pass I retake an appointment with her it goes very slightly better so I continue at 20mg 4 weeks pass it worse, I have the impression that the PROZAC is too strong and it is what induces and persists DP/DR I ask him to lower to 10mg I ask her if she knows a therapist because I would like to take things in hand and start a CBT , She gives me the name of a colleague she works with I take 1 session then 2,3,4 until 8, i hang on that, I speak to her, it does me good I wait for each session as a deliverance, It costs me a lot of money but I have no choice. At the same time the DPDR persists I am still not myself sudden mood changes, sudden big sadness, uncontrolled crying, morning diarrhea, my libido collapses.. My wife is aware of my PAROXETINE treatment we have been together for 18 years , she has always suffered my mood change and do not understand I look good outside... but I in my head it is hell She often asks me "what you look like you’re depressed ?" My 3-year-old daughter also often asks me: "Dad, why are you making that face" , "Dad, why are you sad?" I’m having a hard time playing and taking care of her.. My anxiety is too present it always turns in loop in my head. All awakenings are accompanied with palpitations and a new symptoms in the morning of the awakening are random words and phrases that pass at full speed in my head like when you have a music stuck in your head What happens to me? I go crazy ? I have random words in my head i talk to myself ? this time it’s sure for me I am becoming schizophrenic... (but my Psychiatrist told me : I promise you are not schizophrenic, its all about anxiety..) SEPTEMBER 2023 4 months pass the sessions of CBT help me a little, I space the sessions them more and more because too expensive, the DPDR is always present for me I am still not normal I am always disconnected I continue to occupy my mind every minute, I continue the renovation of my house all the days even the week-end, first minute of each day I put my earphones I have to occupy my mind, I listen to podcasts until the evening everything is good so that I avoid thinking about DP/DR and looping on the existential thoughts it tired me but I have no other solution.. OCTOBER 2023 A rather exceptional event manifests itself on a Sunday, by sudden brain zap, vertigo.. , I wonder what happens to me, big palpitation I have the impression that I will have a heart attack, I am at 2 finger to call the emergency, I decide to go to the "Emergency Pharmacy" because all our pharmacy are closed on Sunday in France, I take my prescription with me, I tell myself that the box of prozac has a defect and that suddenly I have brain zap I do not understand.. To my surprise and as the pharmacist informs me: "Sir it’s normal, have a look, they were wrong at your last prescription, they gave you PAROXETINE instead of PROZAC, I look at the prescription and it is well marked : PAROXETINE delivery. I cry, its a nightmare.. Its actually been 1 month that I had switch without knowing 10mg of PROZAC to 10mg of PAROXETINE. Unfortunately, I did not notice this mistake cause I usually put the box of medicine in my bag by taking it in the morning in a hurry before work without my daughter seeing me take it, I did not check the box, it has become so automatic... I blamed myself terribly, what a nightmare, the last switch PAROXETINE —> PROZAC had been so hard and horrible that I had gone back to square one… 1ST DECEMBER 2023 My condition is horrible, my brother-in-law’s father died suddenly, I put myself in his place , its loop in my head, I’m afraid, I cry, I transpose all the faces of my family on the body, I decide to go back to 20mg of PROZAC I have no other solution on hand.. The next day on December 2nd it is already better, i am quite surprised because the PROZAC has a very long half life.. 14 DECEMBER 2023 Debut of new unpleasant symptom random tingling sensation throughout the body, adrenaline discharge sensation with sudden tingling, I become very sensitive to the slightest sound , TV, light, it triggers me this weird symptoms 16 December 20233 I go from 20mg to 10mg of PROZAC to try to alleviate the new symptoms because for me the PROZAC does not suit me or the dose is not good, (for me the PROZAC was always something that did not suit me and made me feel weird) i don't know.. 2024 So actually, 2 months later, I am still at 10 mg of PROZAC, I decided to stabilize myself at this dose even if i am not feeling normal, cause as you can see there were a lot of changes in the dose of PROZAC. I still do not feel myself, always this feeling of DR of unreality of the world, depression, with moments where my face freezes without emotion… and loss/supression of my libido like I’ve never had. I don’t know what’s happening to me. According to my research on the forum and the article of Altostrata on PUBMED I explain what happened to me with the sudden arrival of a big anxiety and DP/ DR during the switch last year is that I was in the post withdrawal phase of PAROXETINE and that the sudden loss of libido would be PSSD ?, I am not yet very familiar with all these terms but I think I put my finger on the why of the how, tell me if I am wrong. My current dilemma: Is it better not to be dependent and not to take an antidepressant but to risk being bad and "look like sh*t" all my life with this depression, DP/DR or is it better to take an antidepressant (PAROXETINE) all my life but to feel good. I am currently thinking of 2 solutions because I want to get out of it, 1) Doing a gradual withdrawal of PROZAC knowing that I am stabilizing at 10mg, and try to live without antidepressant (I do not know what it is to live without this antidepressant I do not remember because I started it when I was 16) OR 2) Take the PAROXETINE back to 10mg and take it all my life, because it is very hard stopped with its very short half-life. In fact i think, i am not a specialist but its easier to stop a long half life antidepressant than a short half life one. I ask to you all, because my psychiatrist clearly told me that PAROXETINE was not possible that it was not a stable molecule and that if we had to change antidepressant we would go from PROZAC to SERTRALINE Please, I am very lost and look for any help, Thanks again for everyone who came this far Have an excellent day

Hello Everyone, Let me introduce myself. You can call me Sebas (38), i'm from Amsterdam. Hope my English is okay. I was diagnosed with anxiety issues around 2004 and then started using Seroxat, I believe it's called Paxil in the US. I'm aware by now of all the problems this medicine is causing. In other words, i've read a lot, and i mean A LOT about it. I can almost graduate about the subject After several attempts to stop, I found out in 2015 or 2016 about the 5-10% reduction rule. That helped me from 20 mg (10 ml) tot 12 mg (6 ml) in about 1,5 years (estimated). I'm using the fluid suspension and some squirts for accurate dosage. From 6 ml down to 5,8 took me 5 weeks to feel allright, then i stabilized for a week and went back down from 5,8 tot 5,6. All the usual withdrawal symptoms occur during tapering periods such as illness, nerve system problems, visual, fatigue, stomache cramps and also i'm countering eye circles. Since the last dosage (from 5,8 tot 5,6) i've been feeling bad for 9 weeks already. Especially my stomache and my energy. So i'm now wondering what to do, wait (and wait...), go back to 5,8, go back to 6,0 of try to switch to another AD. Cause this one is really @#$%&* mainly cause of the fast half-life period. I've read about a cross tapering method. I asked my doktor for a psychiatric consult about it. Or...could it be my body (and mind) is telling me this dose is beneath the minimum that i just need for my personal wellbeing. I'm familiair with magnesium, omega 3/fish oil and multi vitamin for support. I'm looking forward fto exchanging some knowledge. Bye Sebas

Link to BrassMonkey's Intro topic Brassmonkey- A Success Story To some people six and a half years is a very long time to take to accomplish a goal. For me it’s been one tenth of a lifetime, one third of the time I was actively taking psych drugs and one quarter of the total time I was on Paxil. Given where I started six and a half years ago and where I am now I would gladly do it all over again if it meant regaining my life in the manner that I have. Six and a half years seems like a long time, but I can so clearly remember the night I made the decision to “do something about it” I can relive it moment by moment. At the time I couldn’t remember anything for more than a couple of seconds which makes this even more amazing. It’s been 24 some years now since I started taking Paxil. At the time I was in what I though of as a very rough place. I was in an incredibly stressful job, suffering constant pain as the result of several medical procedures and had developed some really bad anger issues. Anger was a learned response I acquired growing up, but this was getting out of hand. Counseling and learning coping techniques would have been the better course of action, but there was this new “wonder drug” on the market that would cure the ”chemical imbalance” that was causing me to lash out in such a destructive manner. And it was indeed a wonder drug. I could feel the difference just a few hours after taking the first dose. My life calmed down and things were much better for many, many years. Then one day I noticed that it wasn’t as effective as it once had been. Talking it over with my doctor we decided to up my dose. Things went back to being fine, almost. During that time there were some big changes that took place in my life. My wife and I had made some good investments and savings and were able to retire early. We went traveling and such and enjoyed life. Until one day the stock marked crashed and we lost pretty much everything. Having to come out of retirement and find a job was a very upsetting experience to say the least. Making it through the next decade plus some was quite a challenge. At first, I was very glad for the numbness that the Paxil was causing. After a while I again noticed that it was not working as well as it should, and we again upped the dose. This put me at 40mgai. It didn’t do much good. The anhedonia was taking over big time, short term memory was going away, and I hurt constantly. I’ve always enjoyed my alcohol and I started enjoying it more and more. In my mind it was helping with the physical pain and it did help distract from the day to day survival conditions we were facing. But it also was getting out of control and I started to spiral down on every front. Yes, you have to hit rock bottom before you decide to do anything about it, and I did. It finally sunk in one night just how bad I had let things become and I knew I had to do something about it. Next stop AA. But there was much more involved than the alcohol. I knew that the Paxil was not working anymore and was very sure that my doctors recommendation to “just stop taking it” was wrong. It took several weeks of researching to learn that “the drug was my problem” and I had to get off it. There was a lot of conflicting information on line and it was quite a slog getting through it. One day I happened on a site called PaxilProgress and my life changed. PaxilProgress or as I often refer to it now “Prior Place” seemed to know what they were talking about. They had reference material and a taper protocol that made sense and would work with you and give support as you worked your way off of the drug. The stories of what some of the people were going through scared the heck out of me though. I envisioned myself sitting in a chair rocking back and forth for months chanting “it’s only withdrawal, it’s only withdrawal”. My lovely wife told me, “if that’s the way it’s going to be, then we will make it through it”. I liked their idea of doing a 10% taper every four to six weeks, but it seemed to me that everyone that was trying it got hit hard with symptoms after each drop. I was struck with the idea of spreading the drop over four successive weeks and rounding it out with a hold to try and lessen the symptoms. I decided to sneak up on each 10% over several weeks and see what happened. This was later dubbed the Brassmonkey Slide Method by one of the other members. Not a whole lot happened. It was almost two and a half years of steady tapering before I noticed that things were starting to change. A year and a half after that, around the four-year mark I knew I was making progress, and the final year and a half was marked with steady improvements. Five and a half years after I started I was able to make the final taper to “0”. In the middle of all this my Prior Place life line was suddenly pulled out of my hands. I had found another site, SurvivingAntidepressants,org during a previous closure of Prior Place and renewed my account. The atmosphere was a bit different, but much more like home. The knowledge and support here has been a major key to my successful taper and recovery. The recovery story doesn’t stop at reaching “0”. In fact, it’s only beginning. Once the drugs have totally left the body it can actually start the real job of recovery. That’s why we like to wait a year before declaring a success story, and that year is up as of April 15, 2018. I’ve glossed over the meat of the taper because there is just too much to write about. The things that happened, what I learned, coping strategies and much more. Most fo which is already in my introduction thread. This post is to declare that I have succeeded in my quest to get off Paxil. I am going to start a new journal thread to talk about the details. For those who have been with me since the beginning, I want to thank you for your support and companionship during a long hard journey. Some of you have long since finished and have moved on, while others are close on my heels and will be writing your Success Stories soon. There are too many of you to name names, but each and every one of you are very dear to my heart. Those of you who have joined along the path; even though it will be rough and bumpy along the way the end destination is so worth it. Keep at it and you will make it. Your company has been invaluable. For all new ones who are joining each day: it’s very scary, rough, and painful journey but it is the only path there is to follow. In just a few short years you will all be writing your own Success Stories too, and I can’t wait to read them. I have worked with many thousands of members over the time I’ve been tapering and have yet to find one who did not have the strength, once they truly set their mind to the task, to be able to see it through to a successful conclusion. (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS TO ALL))))))))))))))))))))))) Brassmonkey

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.

Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.

Well I have always had some sort of anxiety my whole life. Of course, nowhere NEAR as bad as the anxiety WD has caused me. I missed school a ton growing up cause it just made me anxious to be around a lot of people and I was very shy. Just the thought of having to go to school gave me a nervous stomachache. This led to me actually dropping out for a while in high school. Thankfully I was able to enroll in an alternative high school with very small classes where we could go at our own pace and make our own hours. I was able to graduate and get my diploma in under 2 years. I've also had OCD for as long as I can remember. I was tormented by my intrusive thoughts and thought there was something very wrong with me or I was possessed. When I was around 11 or 12 I was looking in a psychology book for some answers and when I read the description for OCD I had a Eureka moment. "That's me!" I was so happy I started crying. So I guess I diagnosed myself but it was later confirmed by a child psychologist. Around 1998 (when I was 18 years old) is when I started seeing commercials on TV for Paxil. Again, when I heard the description I thought it sounded a lot like me. I had just been broken up with by a guy for being "too shy". I was hating how reserved I was and my "social anxiety." It had been getting even worse as now I was getting very nervous and racing heart when in restaurants or standing in line at the store. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I wanted this drug, Paxil. After a LONG questionnaire and hearing my symptoms he agreed it might help me. I asked him if I could stop taking it any time I wanted and he said "Yes." LIE. That was the day I made the worst decision of my life and I will always regret taking that first pill. So I started the Paxil at 20mg and had no start up effects that I can remember. A few months later I took a trip by myself on a bus half way across the country. So I gues the Paxil was "working." I also missed a couple of doses and that is when I found out about the horrible WD. Zaps, crazy sensitivity to noises, nausea, etc. It scared the crap out of me. Felt like I was stuck on this poison. The years start to pass and I begin to become numb to everything. I gain 30 pounds, which doesn't sound like much but on someone 5'2" with a small frame it definitely shows. Although I was in a relationship I became more and more disinterested in sex. My favorite hobby was sleeping. I had zero ambition and zero motivation. In 2002, my BF at the time finally convinced me to try to get off this drug. I started taking 2.5mg drops every month or so from 30-40mg (cant remember exactly). As I got lower my interest in sex returned and I felt good. I decided to go on birth control. Two weeks after starting it I crashed completely. I was at about 10mg of Paxil at that time. One morning I woke up to nausea, some vomiting, a horrible burning sensation everywhere in my body, horrible anxiety, and the dreaded akathisia which was by far the worse symptom. I became suicidal and made an emergency appt. with a psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed it) who talked to me for 15 minutes and said this was proof I needed to be on the drug for the rest of my life. She proceeded to up my dose back to 30mg. I slowly started to feel better and the experience was enough to scare me away from attempting to taper off for several years. In Dec. 2006 after I get out of that relationship I feel something needs to change in my life. I was very unhappy with who I was. So I once again start to taper from 37.5mg. In 2008 I make it 20mg and decide to take a break. I go out with friends, I drink ALOT. Sleeping, smoking pot, eating, and drinking alcohol are my favorite activities. The break lasts for a whole year. In 2009 I commence my taper, but I notice it's getting a lot harder, which would make sense since besides the crash in 2002 I have never been on a dose lower than 20mg. I have to reduce my drops to less than 5%. At around 15mg in Aug. 2009 I get a part time job I love but I'm so scared of having WD at work that I take even smaller drops. In a year at that job I drop about 3mg. In 2010 I start to have stomach problems and anxiety increases. I have to stop eating red meat completely as I notice it makes my stomach problems worse. I carry a bottle of Pepto Bismol in my purse with me everywhere I go. Stomach problems give me anxiety and vice versa so it's a vicious cycle. Finally in Aug. 2010 I'm spending most of my time at my job in the bathroom so I decide to quit the best job I ever had. Probably just as well as about a month later is when the crap really hits the fan. In late September I take a 4% drop from 11.8 to 11.4. I get a little depression after about a week. Two weeks after that I try to eat a bit of red meat and visit the website of someone I used to know and it makes me very anxious. Several hours later I begin to feel very nauseous and anxious. I finally make myself throw up and feel a little better. I sleep a lot the next two days. The day after that however I stop sleeping completely. My anxiety goes into overdrive. I have no appetite and can't eat. I feel shaky, and depressed. My brain has forgotten how to sleep all of a sudden although I have never had insomnia in my entire life previous to this. If I do pass out it is for less than a hour. For 9 days I sleep one hour every 3 days. I see weird cartoony things when I close my eyes. I hear things that I know are not there. Once I had an awful bloody image flash into my mind out of nowhere when trying to fall asleep that "woke me up" with a gasp. I try everything over the counter: Benadryl, herbal sleep pills, melatonin, valerian. Nothing works. Finally someone gives me some Xanax and Trazadone. I take .50mg of Xanax and 25mg of Trazadone. Instead of sleeping one hour I sleep two. The next day I am more groggy than the night before and I am FINALLY able to sleep 5-6 very broken hours. I also updose to 12mg. I start to feel a little better but this doesn't last long. Three weeks later my stomach starts acting up again and I am unable to sleep. Not only am I unable to sleep but now every time I am about to fall asleep my body violently jerks awake. It is torture. I decide to start dropping again. I find I feel a little better after a drop but it doesn't last long. I start to drop every 3 weeks. The depression is still so bad cause I don't know what's wrong with me and my body keeps jerking awake, usually all night. I become suicidal and try to suffocate myself one night. Then I realize, I DON'T want to die. I just don't want to keep living like this. By the grace of God I make it through. I lose about 15 pounds in 4 weeks. I guess this brings us up to present, fifteen months after that "rough patch" or "mini crash". I still have no idea what caused it. The jerks are still here and still drive me insane but thankfully they have weakened and are not as relentless (usually) as they used to be. My sleep has never been the same since. I take magnesium and melatonin every night to sleep. If I get even slightly stimulated good or bad I am unable to sleep. Even going out with friends stimulates me too much and I am unable to sleep. I can't exercise for even 10 minutes cause it makes my jerks worse. I am still not working. I have found it has gotten even harder under 10mg. I have gone from tapering every 3 weeks to every six weeks. From 4% drops to not even being able to do 2.5% drops. I taper .1mg every 6 weeks. At this rate it will take me 6+ years to get to off if I can at all. I read on the other forum about someone who was going as slow as me and she STILL crashed at 6mg. I'm very hopeless. I am so freaking sensitive to drops and can't imagine how I will ever get off this poison. It has been three years since I started tapering from 20mg and I'm not even close to being off. I'm too scared to switch to Prozac because of all the horror stories I've heard and the fact that it is notoriously activating. If I try to hold on a dose longer than 7 weeks I feel very bad. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Really don't know how to proceed and if I will ever get my life back. I am 31 now and would very much be able to have kids someday. I'm single and have been for a long time cause I can't even go out anymore and meet people. When I do go out, I don't sleep like I said. So that's it. Thanks if you took the time to read this LONG, LONG introduction. I pray for all you guys and I hope you will pray for me too. XX

I have been on Paxil close to 20 years now mostly at 20mgs, I believe at one point as high as 40mgs. I tried a few times to get off over the years but side effects were too much. Around 5 years ago starting scaling dose. I originally went on because I was having major issues giving speeches in front of the class at college. I would completely freeze. After college I stayed on because I liked that they made me calmer and I wasn't over thinking things so much and thinking about all the ways things could go wrong. Five years ago I started having panic attacks out of nowhere. Having never experienced before I was in denial for a good 8 months about what was going on. Since then a few times a year will go through these bouts of panic and severe anxiety. I had to cut out all stimulants / caffeine as they are a major trigger. Not sure if there is a correlation between scaling down and panic attacks. This last time I was down to less then 2.5mgs (around 1.5mgs) per day. I was cutting a 10mgs pill in 1/4s and then just snapping off a piece of that daily. In November 2020 the panic attacks came back with the bad anxiety. I went back to 2.5mgs first, and was still experiencing so over last few weeks went back up to 5mgs. Its hard to see how I can ever get off of this and live a normal life (how I feel right now). Would love some feedback on how to get off of these for good.

HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz

Hello! New to this site. I've found comfort in reading success stories on here and am looking for encouragement and support as I continue in my withdrawal healing journey. I was on Fluoxetine 20mg for about 4 years, on and off a couple of times. I did a 5-month linear taper 10% reduction every 2 weeks and jumped off in early January 2023. Six weeks later the withdrawals hit and since it's been a rollercoaster. I'm at Month 5.5. Thankfully, I haven't gotten many physical WDs but the psychological ones have turned my world upside down: despair, depression, terror, panic, anxiety, intrusive, looping thoughts, anhedonia, mood swings, zero motivation. I do have windows, which for the past month seem to be around 3-5 days, and waves, 3-6 days. I also take supplements: magnesium glycinate, probiotics, omega 3, vitamin d, b but have been on them since I started having some health issues in 2010 (chronic fatigue, muscles weakness, exercise intolerance, brain fog). I didn't start taking them because of withdrawal. I've been tasking htp5 for several months and am tapering that to try a difference amino acid supplement. Thanks for reading, Tessa

2010- Two years of severe headaches. Bad vision in one eye. Muscle pains. The doctors did not say anything. 2012- anxiety appeared. the first drug sertaline - a paradoxical reaction. I got depression, ss thoughts and other bad symptoms. 2012- 2016 paroxetine - - I tappered slowly, but I did not know yet that it should be stopped more slowly. 3 months without paroxetine and withdrawal syndrome appeared. Return to the drug worsened the matter. I crashed. Bridge with fluoxetine. A year passed. at the end of September 2016 I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did test in two different laboratories. 08/08/2016-now fluoxetin 20 mg 01/05/2016- now- triticco / trazadone 75 mg clonozepam - 04.03.2017. from 20.11.2017 I started tapper from 0.5 to 0.125 mg- when I got some relief from Lyme treatment. Now I am treated with ILADS ( Lyme and bartonella) and also tapper psycho drags. I want to not rule out the syndrome and stop the drugs safely. I am asking for support and exchange of experience, especially people who suffer from Lyme disease. I need to make plan. How to discontinue: clonazepam 0,125 mg, fluoxetine 20 mg and trazadon 75 mg How I feel now: Antibiotics have sustained discomfort from the urinary tract and improved the results of cytology. I have more windows, but I still experience strong hits of depression and pain in small joints, a specially neck. Through complicated diagnostics of Lyme disease and the syndrome, I do not know which symptoms are from what. Thank you for your attention, sorry for mistakes.