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Despite being quite nervous, I think it's time to make my introduction. I spent from early 2000's trying a variety of antidepressants. Prozac, setraline, amitryptiline, duloxetine, mirtazipine. Possibly something else, as well. Then, a crisis led to hospitalisation, and addition of quetiapine to fluoxetine. This was early 2019. Around four months ago, I stopped taking prozac, and about three months ago, I quit quetiapine. Both CT as I hadn't discovered this site. I was only taking 25mgs quetiapine and 20mgs prozac, so couldn't really taper without the help of the GP practice, in whom I have no confidence. A few months along, I am experiencing what I realise are waves and windows. Insomnia has been a recurring problem, but advice gained here has been very helpful. In my waves, I feel very depressed, but I now see this as withdrawal, rather than relapse. I don't think that antidepressants ever helped. As a cptsd sufferer, married to a troubled man, with two autistic sons, I was just overwhelmed. I am now a widow, and l live a very quiet life, with one if my sons. Medication does not feature in my future. History

Hi everyone,✋I’ve been on a number of different meds in the past due to chronic pain: opiates, benzos, antipsychotics etc. I don’t remember all the names, but I was cold turkeyed at times with severe reactions. The reason I’m on the forum now is that I’ve been tapering off seroquel for many years, it’s the only medication I’m on. I’ve gone from 300mg to 7.5mg and am doing water titration now. I just have a quick question. If I accidentally doubled up on my dose one day does that make the withdrawals worse? I couldn’t remember if I took my dose of 7.5mg because of brain fog a week ago. I couldn’t sleep n thought maybe I didn’t take it as it usually makes me go to sleep, so I took another dose 1am 🌔 as I was so scared of what missing a dose might do. I thought the withdrawals from the last dose were starting the settle, but they’ve ramped up again. I know this happens anyway in withdrawal but I was just wondering if the double dose might have have affected this too? Thank u in advance for your input😊

Hi everyone, Nice to meet you all. Didn't want to begin with such a long winded post but really need some guidance. Over the last 8mo I've had a whirlwind experience. THC overdose, subsequent panic disorder diagnosis, and a cocktail of drugs. The Dr put me on 5mg Lexapro back in May. About 2wk later I became severely derealized (couldn't recognize parents) and suicidally depressed. I have never had depression before. I dropped the lexapro CT. Following this I was referred to a psychiatrist who switched me to Zoloft min dose, which had a similar effect. I dropped that CT as well after about 3wk and was given 25mg seroquel. At first I began with 12.5mg and worked my way up, and things seemed to go ok for a month. Then I progressively began to derealize again, became severely depressed, hot flashes, panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, burning skin, paranoia, etc while taking this drug - all of which were extremely magnified starting 2wk before my menstrual cycle. At one point, I split the dose into 12.5mg morning+evening to see if it would help but it did not, so I returned to evening dose 25mg after a few days. Through October I titrated and am now at 0mg seroquel as of Nov 1. My titration "plan" included going down by 1/6 of the tablet every 5-7 days with an oil suspension. I could not go slower due to the extreme effects the med had on me. I took .25-.5mg of Ativan intermittently throughout the month to lessen the intensity of the panic attacks (last dose Nov 10). My cycle is due Nov 20. I am having unbearable depression waves, no sex drive, no interest in hobbies, constant derealization, constant burning skin, no appetite, hot flashes, panic attacks, brain zaps, the list goes on. I can't work again. These symptoms did exist throughout all of last month but they are now incredibly magnified again. I can say however I noticed a slight overall improvement going *off* the seroquel, as I am now able to enjoy music slightly, enjoy videogames slightly, open my work laptop get out of bed, think a bit clearer, and the DPDR has lessened maybe 30%. So, what is this? Medication induced PMDD, withdrawals, or what? Did I screw it up more with the Ativan? Can someone give advice as to what my next steps should be? Thank you for reading.

Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!

tried tapering Pristiq, too tough, looking to try tapering Wellbutrin next Hello all! It has been so helpful to read through this wonderful community, and it’s giving me more hope than I’ve had in a long time. When I was a troubled teen, my parents put me on Prozac, said it made me too angry, and started switching it up and I was on a cocktail before graduation. Been on one ever since, I can’t even remember the chronology of what was taken when, though perhaps I should sit down and try to figure it out. This year, I tapered down Buspar and successfully got off of it. Anxiety went up a bit, but I took more Gabapentin and was fine. Recently, partly due to Kaiser not being able to fill it, I tried tapering down on Pristiq. Since I’m on the lowest possible dose, and it’s time release, I’m having a rough time figuring this out. I read that the maker recommends taking it every other day, then less, but that seems like a real ping-pong for the ole brain. Cutting it to lower the dose was a terrible plan, I spiked in anxiety then crashed for the rest of the day. Since I felt so terrible with lowered Pristiq, it made me wonder if that’s working and I should leave it alone for now. I’ve been on Wellbutrin for longer, so maybe that’s a good one to let go of. I was considering switching to the non-time-release version, but remembered that made me feel suicidal in the past, which got better when I switched back to the same dose of Wellbutrin SR. I’ve also had trouble finding doctors who can/will help. Everyone has told me that since I’ve been on meds since I was young, I’m stuck. Or that it would require more therapy than my insurance company/provider Kaiser is able to provide. For years now, every time I ask about lowering a dose or being on less meds, I walk out of there having gotten a hard sell to increase or add another one. It’s maddening! Finally tapered down on the Buspar on my own, since I couldn’t find anyone to help. With lots of coping skills and self-soothing, it was all right. The problem for me now is this time release mess and being on the lowest doses! I’ll keep diving into what other people have done and see what options might work. Hoping that one day I can find a doctor willing to help me lower, not increase, the meds. I had a family member of kidney failure caused by a mental health med, so being on these for the rest of my life (and potentially shortening it in the process) sounds like a bad plan. Still, figuring this all out is tough! Grateful to find this resource, and learn ways to safely decrease with the goal of getting off some or all meds. Thank you all, and I hope you’re all doing well!

Sorry about the name as "Redman" was a childhood nickname and I have already started with it. I was placed on Seroquel 25mg twice a day, mirtazapine 7.5mg at bedtime, and gabapentin 200mg three times a day a little over two months ago after a psychiatric hospitalization. At first I thought the meds were great as I finally had something that gave me sleep at night. But this effect didn't last and I didn't realize the reason I was feeling so bad was the medicine and not just my condition, I'm of the opinion, as I look back and at what I was able to do before and since I began them. I didn't realize what these meds were and how that dependency had already set in until doing some research online. After a month of my doctor trying to adjust these meds I realized with fear how difficult getting off Seroquel was going to be given my weakened state and my dread of losing any night's sleep. I would appreciate any advice, tips, pointers, etc. Thanks.

I am newbie here. I have a long history with other psychotropic drugs and several DSM diagnoses over the course of my life and I am now well over 40 years of age. I won’t go into the totality of it as it would take too long and the moderators have enough to do. I just want some advice on getting off Remerone (Mirtazpine) and dealing with what I think may be ongoing withdrawal from Cymbalta which I stopped taking 2 and half years ago. My story in as brief as I can make it (not great at editing) I started to suffer with chronic back pain in 2007 when I was 36 years of age which resulted in severe insomnia and work absences and was not resolved by manual treatments or exercises. It was eventually diagnosed as fibromyalgia and I started to take 50mg Trimipramine, brand name Surmontil for sleep in 2007. By 2014 it was no longer working for the pain. I had met people on a pain management course for arthritis who were taking Cymbalta. I saw the rheumatologist about it. She said Cymbalta was good for nerve pain so I decided to give it a go as I was desperate for the pain to stop. On the first night I stopped the Surmontil I got no sleep and began in the next three days to experience severe anxiety, restlessness and insomnia. I took my first Cymbalta pill (30mg) four days after stopping the Surmontil. The back pain went away within 24 hours of taking it. I was ecstatic. However the anxiety and insomnia that started when I stopped the Surmontil got worse. For the first time in my life I got akathisia and panic attacks. I could not sit still or concentrate – I couldn’t even watch TV and I’m a big TV watcher. I walked about 12 miles a day and could not eat. I was prescribed sleeping pills but still got no sleep. I spent the night pacing around the house and lost over a stone in weight (I’m relatively slim for my age so a stone is a lot for me). After six weeks of this was I was near breaking point and saw a psychiatrist. A friend of mine had been taking Remerone (Mirtazapine) and found it wonderful for sleep. I was desperate for sleep so I asked the psychiatrist if she could prescribe me some and she gave me 30mg of it and some Rivotril and Seroquel to take as needed. To be honest I think if I hadn’t gotten the Remerone I might have gone psychotic from the lack of sleep. I got my first night’s sleep in six weeks and stabilised within a month. After two weeks I reduced the Remerone to 15mg. For the next four years I was ‘stable’ on 30mg Cymbalta and 7.5mg Remeron except for regular appalling migraines which I put down to approaching menopause. After approx. eight months the pain killing properties of the Cymbalta pooped out and I started to get pain again but it was manageable. In 2018 my blood results showed dangerously high cholesterol and liver enzyme readings. I rarely drank – maybe a glass once every six weeks. My psychiatrist said it was the Cymbalta and said I could have a drug holiday as she called it. She told me that I could stop the Cymbalta immediately as 30mg was a low dose but by this point I had finally realised from stopping the Surmontil that this would not be a good idea. I looked up the instructions on tapering on this site and some other sites and purchased the book ‘The Antidepressant Solution’ by Dr Joseph Glenmullen on withdrawal from antidepressants. I bought a milligram scale and started a journal documenting my titrations by removing a number of beads and decreasing by 10% of that reduction every two weeks. I documented my withdrawal symptoms in a journal. I started the titration on the 2nd of June 2018 and finished on the 20th February 2019. Even with extremely slow titration I began to experience insomnia, anxiety and restlessness and my mood began to drop in July 2018. I took herbal, vitamin and omega three supplements throughout but to be honest I don’t think they helped greatly. I thought once I was off the drug the side effects would dissipate completely but two weeks after my last taper they got much worse. I had constant debilitating anxiety, insomnia and began to experience regular suicidal ideation. I was unable to concentrate. I had also tapered my dose of Remeron down to 3.75mg in tandem. I had developed eczema on my hands and feet four months before I started the taper from Cymbalta and this continued unabated. The only thing that brought down the anxiety was HIIT workouts but the hip issues I had been dealing with for the previous 4 years acted up again I had to stop the classes. I started bioidentical HRT in September 2019 and though the progesterone did help with sleep a little bit it did not resolve the anxiety and suicidality. The following year 2019 I again sought psychiatric ‘help’ as I was at the end of my tether with suicidal thoughts and severe anxiety. I was told I was bipolar. I got a prescription for Lamotrigine 50mg in January 2020. I got assessed for Autism spectrum disorder as a therapist I had been attending had kept banging on about my being on the spectrum for several years. Two weeks before the lockdown occasioned by the pandemic in 2020, I got a diagnosis of ASD and was told the other diagnoses I had been given over the course of my life of borderline and bipolar disorder were probably incorrect. The local mental health clinic had shut down due to the lockdown. My anxiety was very bad and I had no other meds to ‘help’ so I started taking the Lamotrigine in June 2021 and within nine days developed a rash. I sent photos to my GP who told me to stop taking it because it could prove dangerous. I tried taking it again three weeks later – same rash. On this occasion my GP told me I could not take it again. I finally got an appointment with the Mental Health day clinic and got 150mg Seroquel. I had upped the Remeron up to 7.5mg again. After being on the Seroquel one month I developed stomach issues and was prescribed Omeprazole. I had to take laxatives and enemas for constipation. I lasted on this dose until October 2020 when I got a bowel impaction an enema did not fix which was scary. I gradually weaned the Seroquel dose down not very scientifically until December 2020 when I stopped taking it completely. I noticed that since taking the Seroquel that I had developed muscle cramps and pains in addition to the chronic pain I already had. In the last month I started doing somatic exercises which have proved quite helpful. My anxiety has continued but I have held off taking anything else like Rivotril or Lexathan which I had a small supply of as the rebound anxiety they cause is not worth it. I am 2 years and four months off the Cymbalta and am currently still on 7.5mg Remerone in tablet form. I would like to get off Remeron but accept that it might not be possible. Once I had titrated down previously to 3.75mg the weighing scale would not register any further decrease in weight and there are no chemists where I live who will liquefy the dose down. I missed the dose by two days once when I ran out once and nearly ended up in A&E with fever, vomiting and diarrhoea. My immediate concern if someone has managed to read this far is how much longer does the Cymbalta withdrawal last? And if this any way in hell that I could ever get off the Remerone? My sleep has stabilised somewhat over the last three months and I now get five/six to seven hours per night most nights. My anxiety is still very high but my living situation is very difficult and I don’t have any significant support. The pandemic removed the few support structures I did have so I think this has a bearing on things. I have found that the amino acid Lutein helped the eczema which is now (touching a lot of wood) manageable though I still can’t wear jeans because of the nickel. surviving antidepressants timeline.docx

Hello Lovely Humans, I am a 36 year old woman. Prior to the experience laid out below I was (and fight to still be) a very happy, high performing human with a successful engineering career. Well now I am much gentler on myself to not be so high performing. 🥰 In early August I had friends visiting while we were renovating our house. I was also dealing with a highly stressful job. That’s when I had 4 days of bad insomnia which was very unlike myself (typically 1-2 days per month). While they were visiting I asked my primary doctor for a subscription for 5 Ambien tablets. I had taken one of my mom’s before a couple years ago and it knocked me out. I figured that they could just help me through my friend’s visit and that would be it. The weird thing is this time I was waking up 1-4 hrs after taking the 5 mg tablet. Desperate for more sleep I would take another 5 mg. Early on I attempted to go a night without it and landed in the ER with a panic attack. This started a (luckily short) stint with Ativan. Over the course of the next month I used the Ambien nightly and the Ativan as needed and things got worse. I started to experience suicidal ideation which got more intense over time. Needless to say this was beyond terrifying. I’ve never even experienced depression let alone SI before in my life. Desperate for some answers I scheduled a psychiatry appointment since I had only been seeing a primary doctor. I told him my symptoms as well as that my mom is diagnosed bipolar. Within 5 minutes of hearing that my mom is bipolar he diagnosed me with that as well. He prescribed me 100 mg of Seroquel. This was September 7th. Those first few weeks I was elated to feel like myself again and get 10-11 Hours of sleep. However after reading the side effects profile of the drug I became worried. (Doctor only told me possible weight gain was the only side effect-which luckily I haven’t experienced). Additionally I just didn’t quite identify with being bipolar and I had this nagging feeling that the Ambien was the cause of the suicidal ideation. That coupled with the high stress I had been carrying for a while. I decided on November 1st to start tapering. So far so good. I’m at 75 mg. Sleep is still great (average 8.5 hours-keeping a daily spreadsheet that I hope to turn into some fun graphs by the end). My biggest issue is a stiff neck. I am doing lots of stretching, chiropractor, and massage. It seems to be slowly alleviating but I am hoping this doesn’t worsen after the next cut. Any guidance on this would be appreciated. All things considered I’m doing ok. I’ve been able to get short term disability for the past 4 months and really focus on how I want to rebuild my life. I even started skiing again after blowing out my knee (acl, mcl and meniscus) 2 years ago. So I am no stranger to a long term healing process. The year before that I broke my wrist! Hopefully after this taper I can get a little break for a few years haha! 🙂 Thanks for reading my story. This site has been so valuable as I start this scary journey. Appreciate all the moderators' time and energy!

Hi all, I am a Finn, 60 y.o., and therefore my English is not so good and accurate. However, I already have found useful advice here. My sleeping apnea was treated with Triptyl 12 mg for ten years. Then I got a proper diagnose and a CPAP machine in Jan.2020, but, my sleep did not recover. The doctor first ordered Lyrica+Escitalopram for a better sleep, but, this did not help at all; it only worsened the poor sleep. After that she compelled me to take Agomelatine 50 mg with Ketipinor 100-400 mg, and told me that I have to take these if I ever wanted to sleep. These drugs were safe, they did not cause any problems, and they were easy to get rid of. I quit Agomelatine by myself in Feb.2022, and started to think that the cause of poor sleep were now the Ketipinor. I never took more than 200 mg, and lowered the dosis from 200 to 100 in 2021, and from 100 to 50 in 2022. I paid some visits to a sleep clinique in 2022. They adviced me to quit Ketipinor rapidly, in one night. This gave me the withdrawal symptoms, and, I returned Ketipinor thinking I could not cope without it. However, on Jan.3rd 2023 I lowered to 25, by myself. I got panic reactions and poor sleep, but, now I knew these were withdrawal symptons that would ease during time. Now, I visited the psychiatrist of the sleep clinique, and he gave me instructions to deal the 25 mg into 4 pieces, and, drop 1 piece every fortnight. With this support, I lowered the dosis to 18 on Jan.20th. Now I go with 18 mg. However, this speed might be too heavy for me. Any help is appreciated.

Hello, My story is most likely the same as many here. I am 53 years old; I was off-prescribed Seroquel for a sleeping disorder due to an opioid withdrawal I was having. I had two shoulder surgeries in 2020 and was taking oxycontin for pain, which became a habit, and I had a hell of a time getting off them. My doctor prescribed 300mg of quetiapine XR in April of 2021 to be taken at night. This drug worked great, but I noticed I had memory issues recently and a type of brain fog. The sleep effect was also starting to decrease. I have a job that requires critical thinking, and I felt my cognitive ability was in decline. I went to my physician and asked him to reduce my dose so I could get off this drug. I did some light reading and found how dangerous this stuff is. He decreased my amount to 150mg and said I could jump off in a few weeks. I went a step further and broke the pills down to 75mg and then came off the drug. After almost nine days of no sleep and a myriad of breathing and allergy symptoms, I re-instated to 250mg daily, 125mg at night, and 125mg during the day. (XR type) I found the night dose barely adequate to give me a few hours of sleep. I am starting to level off and get some rest. I settled in at 100mg XR and 25mg IR taken twice, daily. I have severe asthma in the evening, which I have not experienced since childhood. I can only guess this has to do with histamine and the drug’s control over it—a withdrawal side effect due to the reduction in dosage. My doctor has no idea how this drug works or how to help me get off it. When I went to see him after the six days of insomnia, he tried to get me to take vraylar and trazodone to get over the quetiapine withdrawal. I read up on vraylar, it has a 500hr half-life, and that scared me. Also, I wouldn’t say I liked the idea of taking two drugs. I may need to find a psychiatrist that understands the drug and can assist me in the tapering process. Thank God I found this website. It comforts me that it is possible to get off these drugs. From what I have absorbed over Christmas break, reading the stories on the message board is that it won’t be easy, and I will have a fair amount of pain and suffering. I can’t fathom taking this poison for the rest of my life. I believe it has taken years off my life already. I pray that my current dose of 250mg, split between 125mg nightly and 125 mg daily, will level me off in a few months so I can begin tapering this drug. I know sleep is paramount right now. I have been suffering and losing sleep which makes it tough to work. I have 11 more years to work, and I can’t afford to lose my job over this. It leaves you in a dark place. I have never experienced this type of depression and despair. I appreciate your time and consideration. I would value your experience and stories on coming off this drug. How the medical profession can prescribe this for sleep issues is beyond me. Big pharma has its claws in every physician out there. They must line their pocketbooks with money to push this toxic medication. Best regards, Mitenraised

I came off 50 mg Sertraline almost from one day to the next. Then threw away Vyvanse from one day to the next. Now, I am trying to come off Seroquel, but I am struggling. Went to the hospital twice in the last couple of weeks because I have a severe lung infection, but the doctors cannot understand why my body won't take in enough oxygen for my oxygen saturation in the blood to be normal. I suggested that it might have to do with the fact that I JUST came off several kinds of meds that had a severe impact on my breathing (I was hyperventilating all day every day), but they just looked at me funny. But it does make sense to me that I am now "hypo ventilating" because my body is out of balance? Am I totally off here? Right now, I wish I could just find a doctor who could let me know whether it is dangerous to "hypo ventilate". I have to sons, and I don't want to die...

Hi there, OP. You and another user wanted some solidarity with other people stuck on Seroquel, right? Let me introduce myself: Almost 38/F. Vancouver, Canada. I'm starting a taper from 50mg I.R. Seroquel next week. I've been stuck on it since July 2021, when I had a horrific reaction to LoLoestrin on the 6th day of taking it. I started having symptoms on day #3 (2x/day panic attacks!) Went to walk-in clinic on day #5 & was dismissed/told it was normal. Not for me. I've been on ~7 different b/c pills (all made me spot, and as I got older, really putrid stuff started comming out of me or I bled constantly and never stopped for 2 weeks until I gave up. So, I'm stuck with a menstrual cycle. lol.) I listened to him & kept taking the LoLoestrin. The next night, I went into Psychosis (rapid switching b/n manic laughing & weeping rapid-fire within seconds - I've always been in control of my emotions. I have the emotional regulation of a titan, humble brag.) Next morning, I went to the small local E.R. (even though my mom said nothing's wrong) & they gave me an Rx for something called Seroquel 50mg I.R. (was either that or Ativan - NO! I don't drink, so I never thought of getting drunk until my endocrine system re-balanced) & told me to get my Psychiatrist to get me off of it later. He was always on vacation (80 yrs old?), & I don't trust him whatsoever. I was finally able to get rid of him in Dec 2022. Wanted to get rid of him in Feb 2022 when things really started spiralling out of control, but nobody else avaliable. The 50mg I.R. snowballed out of control with mis Dx's, mood stabilizers, etc. I've tried to taper off of 50mg I.R. Seroquel 11x with either my own pill splitter (crumbly mess) or an in-patient industrial pill-splitter to reduce 1 of the 2 mini pills by 1/4 (12.5%). This never worked. I almost went into Psychosis 3x. I thought the birth control incident was scary enough. At no point since July 2021 in the Hospital's Mental Health & Substance Use Unit (had to get my mom to drive me many times due to withdrawal symptoms from Seroquel or other meds or the meds themselves!) or In-Patient facilities (3x w/in 6 months) did anybody mention a liquid taper. Shocking and pathetic incompetence. I learned about a liquid taper earlier this year by myself. I also learned more about Seroquel last November (h1 & d2 receptors & how the serotonin is different than the serotonin in Pristiq - ******* hell). & even more about its action on Histamine recently. & nobody since July 2021 ever plainly outright straight-up admitted that withdrawal symptoms are real. I've experienced w/d symptoms in the past. The only way I was able to get off Effexor (side-effects because I was Rx'ed way too much in 2015) was to go to Pristiq. I do well on Pristiq. My physiology can't tolerate any of the other SSRI's & SNRI's, although my Psychi always Rx'ed me too much - dangerous! The only reason I want to get off of the 50mg I.R. is because my muscles constantly jerk/twitch all over my body. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes more frequent. Sometimes less. This is a red flag and dangerous. But I've put up with it because until recently, I had no idea how I was going to try to taper again with a pill-splitter. Since learning about Histamine, I'm doing a low-histamine diet & started a couple of days ago. I do not Diet. It's not necessary for me, nor do I want to restrict. But this is a VERY special circumstance. This may help with the taper from Seroquel, since I learned from someone else on this message board about histamine from their withdrawal from Seroquel essay. (Heartbreaking.) From what I've read in your thread, you're doing quite a fast taper. I plan to do -0.25% off of the last dosage every 4 weeks minimum. Or 6 weeks? & Holding for ever how long. & then going again. Hold however many times my physiology requires. It's not up to me. It's up to my individual nervous system. I'm a non-smoker, non-drinker, and never done weed before. I drink plenty of water & plenty of fibre. I'm sure the other meds I'm on will help at least a little bit with the taper. & I've read that you need to do smaller decreases as time goes by. So, it'll eventually have to be a 0.075% decrease. & then 0.05%. & then 0.025%. I'm not even sure if my syringe for the liquid solution will work. Since I've been on the two 25mg pills for so long, I'm pretty sure I'll have to use 1 of the 25mg pills plus two 1/4 pills (12.5mg total) and then the rest liquid. I've been stuck on this ******* Anti-Psychotic for 2.75 years. If I knew it was an anti-psychotic and how complex it is, I would've taken the ******* Ativan. If it takes 5 years to fully get off of this bullsh*t, I have no choice. I already have partial insomnia for a long time now because of the Pristiq - even with the Seroquel (I'm usually up in the middle of the night tranquilized. I cannot work anymore due to this. It's too exhausting to fight it.) So, I don't want to make it worse by doing a fast taper. I'm going down until the mg where my muscles are no longer tranquilized & the twitching stops. I do not consent to my body moving without my permission, nor do I consent to being tranquilized and unable to move until mid-day next day or rarely the whole day until I take it again at 8pm. Sometimes the tranquilzing wears off a few hrs after I wake up. The tranquilizing decreased when 50mg X.R. Seroquel was added in Nov 2022 because I was withdrawing so severely from a few things at once - dangerous! People really have no idea what they're doing out there. My boyfriend has been right the whole time. I do not have BiPolar #2. I do not have Borderline Personality Disorder. I do not have 'Cluster B'. The reason he likes me is BECAUSE I'm bland, boring, average, emotionally stable, and can regulate my emotions. ie: I'm an incredibly easy partner. I come from a relatively good family. No drinking, no drugs, no domestic violence, no history of "mental illness", etc. So I'm starting to experiment with the low-histamine diet (especially with my dinner & before-bed snack) to see if it helps with the tranquilizing the next day. In July 2021, I went from my trusty 100mg Pristiq ($2/day) -> 5 medications + now 150mg Pristiq ($3/day); I think 9 pills per day. I've been emotionally violated, gas-lit, and dismissed repeatedly in these past ~2.75 years. This is by far the worst thing that's ever happened to me and will ever happen to me. Psychiatric Medication Withdrawal is worse than anything on this whole entire god-forsaken planet. I'm extremely over-medicated, but this myoclonus is downright dangerous. I was extremely hot as well until fairly recently. My long-term boyfriend had to have multiple blankets on during the summer with the A/C full-blast on me. I've been emotionally labile as well. Especially during the summer when the heat was messing with the 2 Seroquels and the SNRI. The Lamictal, Gabapentin, & Seroquel X.R. weren't enough to combat that. Sorry for hi-jacking your thread. I should make my own and make a signature for myself. Anyway. OP, take a looksee: https://reversepsychiatry.org/ https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pw4tjImAJ92OIVyRvZoZYjqxiKMk7wvp-ljiIi1olRo/edit#gid=246292188 https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/taper/special-tips-calculations-and-liquids https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/taper/doing-calculations-taper#taper-schedule-2-daily-microtaper https://www.willhall.net/files/ComingOffPsychDrugsHarmReductGuide2Edonline.pdf Specific for Histamine/Seroquel: https://rxisk.org/guide-stopping-antidepressants/#Prominent_withdrawal_symptoms https://beyondmeds.com/2012/12/04/psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/ Thanks

im gladd I found this site as my signature says i was taking Seroquel 250 mg. start feeling no emotions and no libido and stomach problems I this was about 2 years and also at the same time taking lorazepam 4 mg for the same period started to reading on the internet and I went very scared started tapering of Seroquel like 12 mg every 3 weeks i was doing pretty good I had morning anxiety but feeling more like my self then on January 12 I skipped my dose of lorazepam one of the 4 intakes I take then hell ... enter into a bad wd with horrible symptoms total no feelings and no emotions of nothing apathy morning anxiety like hell no memory apathy stomach problem etc so i pues i was in one wd and now im in both but I hold my dose of both meds now im on 187,5 mg Seroquel and 4 of lora I guess my cns is broke and I guess this is permanent , I also have dopamine sensitive acording what I been reading in another forums wich aparente is also permanent I wrote in benzobuddies forum and they told when skip a dose can take 3 weeks to stabilized but I have more than one month and still didn't stabilized I feel very bad apathy is very strong I can't communicated also sexual loss libido is horrible too im a young man of 39 so im on hold of my meds no tapering I was reading kindling is like when you can't continue tapering cos wd is so bad I can barely get up the bed because of fatigue all this after skipped a dose of lorazepam only one ! maybe im forgotten about something but that the problem more or less thanks for reading and Ill be waiting answers and opinion thanks from Mexico

Hi I'm 37, I had anxiety disorders and depression all my life. I was put on medication fast, probably way too fast. I've been convinced that my condition was needing them and I believed it was impossible to live normally without. I'm hyper sensitive to medication so I was not able to bear most of antidepressants. Zoloft was the easiest, but has its list of horrible side effects too, mainly excessive and violent sweating for little moves like even grating cheese and accompanied with itching and unable to stand heat in general. Emotions are neutralized, as well as happiness and interests, mostly living like a vegetable. With time my anxiety changed when I tried to stop zoloft, weird new manifestations appeared and I was told that's it's from me, not from medication. With time I suspected more and more zoloft to have caused new issues that I would never have before. I'm doing a second "serious" withdrawal, I got 0mg from May 2018 and I've pretty crazy anxiety but not all the time, all the weird symptoms developed in time are back, and I can see that zoloft body changes are still not reverted back to my natural self because of restless leg syndrome that I only get during withdrawals and I have abnormal too sensitive feelings like crying very easily. Since I left zoloft, I lost my overweight (220 pounds to 180 pounds and still dropping), I'm healthy aside those issues, I move freely and lightly, I got all my feelings back with new interests, like if I'm being reborn. I can't even seriously say if medication really helped me of all my life, maybe somehow, but I suspect more to have worsened everything by creating new issues that sleep until I try to stop zoloft. Then it's the infinite loop: returning on it because of all the issues, taken by doctors for my natural self being sick. Then later I want to get rid of it again, and the thing restart. I had only panic attacks when I started antidepressants at 17 years old. I had nothing of all the stuff that was added with years. I also was not with hypersensitive feelings. I could probably have developed non-med ways to cope and I would never have anything worse. Now added to panic attacks I had strong adrenaline looping rushes in bed, I got morning fears that don't seem associated to any precise thoughts, and instant panic with thoughts popping during the day that should not trigger anything. I've been told that with that, an antidepressant alone would not work, that I need an antipsychotic too, and both. That's why I'm also on seroquel XR. I had to leave my job because it was already a very high stress life there and addition of everything was pure hell. I'm free of zoloft for 8 months, compared to 2 months the more I was able to endure and I was even not working at this time. I know that almost all symptoms will disappear if I take it again, and all the side effects will also be back with it. It will falsely thought to heal me when most of what is happening is because of a long-term body changes that zoloft installed with time. This is what I think. It's like not being hypersensitive to feelings at all before to try any, take one, stop it and being hypersensitive and say "it's because you stopped it so take it back you need it". I think doctors are totally blind to this hypothesis despite the fact that they may really want to help. It can surely be hard to prove, especially if I cannot bear to live like this long enough to the point I restart taking the drug. But some proof is there. Restless leg syndrome is only when I tapered zoloft, all the times I tried it was there and only at this time. If it still happens randomly after 8 months, it proves that my body is still affected by zoloft in a way or another. I'm 37 and I want to take control of my life fully, and living disabled for the time it needs may be my only chance to get this freedom, but I just don't know the truth myself. Maybe it will take a year for symptoms to disappear, maybe more, maybe never, maybe I've been broken and there is nothing to do but take meds all my life, which will give a horrible life on another level. I'm here to discover what others experienced, find similarities, some truth and at least if I must go through this hell, I will have some hope and real examples that waiting a certain time could free me too, forever of antidepressants. I don't seek someone deciding for me, I seek real people experience to see the real whole picture and decide myself.

Hi all, i'll try to describe my problems and my situation and maybe I can get some advice? I'm 28 y/o, have had depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts 24/7 (my mind is never silent) attention problems, and executive dysfunction notably since at least 16-18 years old, and i've had OCD like features since I was like 7 as far as I can remember, particularly strong since at least 16 years old. Refused to try any medication up until 2018. Had a scary first bout of what was arguably psychotic thinking in 2016. Here's a brief history: March-ish 2018: Took Wellbutrin about a handful of times, can't remember doseMarch-ish 2018: Took Seroquel a handful of times, can't remember doseMarch-ish 2018- November 2019: Took Sertraline, went from 25 mg to 125 mgs. Foolishly cold turkeyed February 2021: Took Buspar a handful of times, can't remember dose February 2021: Took Luvox maybe like 6 times, nearly killed me and devastated me for months beyond belief March-June 2021: Reinstated Sertraline in an attempt to stop the horrible effects of Luvox (tapered over 2 weeks I think, i'm a little surprised at how my memory seems a bit shot atm) I cold turkeyed Sertraline foolishly out of ignorance and due to life circumstances, and I think I remember not taking it as prescribed daily all too well in the first place. Over the last 2.5 years since then, I have noticeably declined and I believe it is likely protracted withdrawal. I now suffer from everything I mentioned previously but it's all generally worse than a few years ago. Since mid 2020 I have really gone down hill and now suffer from the following daily/regularly: - A considerably more panicked and anxious base level of consciousness - Constant racing thoughts, my mind is never clear/scary intrusive thoughts - Recurrent terrifying "depression attacks/bouts" where i feel depression/anxiety that is so intense in their particular windows that they feel like panic attacks but more "depression-like" if that makes sense. - Body temperature disturbances where I feel regular hot flashes/heat sensations running down my body - The Luvox I tried last year gave me the worst panic and depression of my life, I felt like I was in a 2 - 3 month prolonged panic attack and I got burning skin sensations that felt like being burned alive that thankfully have dissipated now but lasted from about February to July 2021. - Chronic fatigue and a constant feeling that someone is pulling me down from my back, making me want to just lay down on a bed. When I feel the fatigue + hot flashes + depression attacks + some confusion at the same time it feels like i'm in hell. - Severe executive dysfunction coupled with OCD, makes it so I feel like i'm paralyzed and at the same time I feel like the only thing i can keep doing and keep my attention on is watching youtube. I'm a school teacher and the school year just ended, I could never get anything done because of my executive dysfunction and it is an absolute miracle that I lasted the whole year. I do feel though that when i'm totally into what i'm doing at school there are times where I, dare i say, feel "normal" and "fine," with the exception of lingering social anxiety and severe executive dysfunction that is always there." Now that vacation has started it, i've gotten worse, same thing happened every school weekend. I go crazy when just at home. I'm currently trying to fight through my executive dysfunction in order to set up a new PCP and finally make a doctor's appointment to see if I can get a "full work up," whatever that means, in order to gauge my health and rule out auto immune diseases or other things. It's a miracle I can even hold my attention long enough to write this atm, what tips can you give me in regards to things I can do to naturally heal, things I can ask my doctor, tests that I should request my doctor, etc? Honestly a few weeks ago I kept daydreaming about trying stimulants (bare in mind that I am very skeptical towards psychiatry now) because of how bad my executive dysfunction is but now I feel more mentally damaged in general now and I have no idea what to do.

Hello, My situation began when I developed an eating disorder after gaining a lot of weight in High School. I didn't have much support from my relatives growing up and was emotionally neglected. I was taught to just deal with "It", no matter what the "It" was, without guidance. Due to that mentality, I was able to hide my disorder for a long time, no one noticed or cared. I didn't consider myself depressed when I lost all the weight, and it became my self-esteem. When I was in my early 20's, I got married and moved away, I couldn't hide it anymore, and decided to get help. I went to a local psychiatrist, and he immediately prescribed Prozac to "help me" stop and suggested a counselor. At first the Prozac helped, I'd get upset and literally two mins later, I couldn't remember why. I saw my counselor, but it was just rehashing the past or current problems, no advice on how to work it out, accept and heal. After gaining 15 pounds, I resumed my disorder. I didn't realize at the time, that nothing was working. My family moved to another state, I was still on Prozac and only had a general physician (GP). As the years went on, medicines were changed, and my disorder continued. After 9 years on meds, I stopped the eating disorder. Then, while working a job that was very stressful (cold marketing), I was referred to a psychiatrist, who also prescribed Xanax prn for anxiety and finally Seroquel for insomnia. My psych kept upping my dose of Seroquel because the insomnia would come back (tolerance). I had side effects with the medications I was on long term (Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, and Seroquel), but because I was on some of them at different times, I didn't realize it. I had restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, irregular heartbeat, high eye pressure, clenching/grinding my teeth, binge drinking, anxiety, mood swings, aggression, insomnia and chronic pain - none of which I had before taking the meds. Each time I saw my GP, I was told that it was a new malady - an autoimmune disorder, neuropathy disorders, fibromyalgia, extreme stress, etc... So, I was given other drugs on top of the antidepressants. I was not advised, about weight gain on Lexapro (not good for a history of an eating disorder), so when I gained 30 pounds from it, I relapsed my disorder 14 years after I'd quit - no weight came off, so I stopped the disorder again 6 months later, for good. A couple years later, I wanted to come off of the antidepressants, I asked my psych for a trial run of quitting, I was told "No, you could relapse and make things worse". I reluctantly stayed on them. Three years after that, my psychiatrist was fired/let go (or so I was told) and moved out of the area. There was no warning, and I was almost out of meds, I only found out because I called for my next refill appt, and my psych had already been gone for a month! I was lucky enough to have his office give me a month's worth of my meds until I could find another psych (which I have not done). Suddenly, I was terrified it could happen again, so I decided to go off them. A few years before, I switched to a new general physician. I was on 40mg Lexapro and 800mg Seroquel. I knew if I went cold turkey, it could be bad, so I began my taper. The Lexapro, I tapered 30 pills took me about 2 months, concurrently with the Seroquel, which I tapered at the same time, 60 pills, took me almost 8 months. I have been off all meds for 3 months now. The withdrawal from the Lexapro wasn't bad, just the brain zaps, but that could be because the Seroquel was still in my system - I was lucky. During the first 3 months of the Seroquel taper, I felt ok, some rumination, self-doubt, and insomnia. I even had a period of feeling great (I know now I was hypomanic), I'd stabilize and then go down more. Once I reached 12mg, about 3 1/2 months in, the withdrawal symptoms started and progressively built on each other until I stopped my taper. I started having anxiety, anhedonia, irritation, dread, tooth and jaw pain, anger, memory gaps/loss, confusion. At 6mgs I had a severe panic attack 8-hours long, felt like I was going to die, my husband helped me calm down. I saw my new GP, told her what I'd done and got immediate support. She gave me a prescription for 5 pills of Klonopin .5mg. (I haven't had to use any). I was having adrenaline surges, I couldn't watch thrillers/scary movies or the news, or drive my car, or go anywhere by myself. I stayed at 6mg for a month to stabilize. At 3mgs I was still having adrenaline surges, then heart palpitations, acne and vesicles on my upper body. My emotions were everywhere, crying, anger, anhedonia, catastrophizing, and rumination. I stayed at 3mg for a month then, when I calmed a bit, finally stopped altogether. I've been educated quite a bit since finding this site a month ago, it's been a Godsend. I'm always looking up symptoms and reading other's experiences, and this has helped me more than anything. Looking back, I should have tapered slower (I didn't know), and I try not to worry or be scared about the consequences of not doing that. I know everyone's experience is different and I'm hopeful, but on guard. Being three months out, although some of the symptoms have calmed down greatly, I'm still experiencing them, some acute and a few new weird ones. Waves and windows happen from time to time and I'm in a window right now. Good things... Most of the side effects that I had while on the drugs - restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, binge drinking, and chronic pain, are gone so far, they disappeared during the taper. I also lost all of the weight I gained on the Lexapro once I stopped it, without even trying. Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who has shared their experiences, for your knowledge and for a place to tell my story.

Hello all. I've researched this extensively now, after a google search in late Nov 2022 lead me to this message board and other Psychiatric Medication Withdrawal Supports. I'm finally ready to try again. Trauma from previous attempts has kept me dealing with the extreme tranquilizing + myoclonus (ie: adverse effects) instead of trying again. This will be the 13th attempt. If it takes 5 years, that's out of my control. It's up to my particular nervous system. When I recently suggested to my Doctor about a 10% reduction per month using a liquid, they said it'd be perfectly fine. (& I guess reduce that amount by 10% per month until I'm off?) After going home and calculating how I did it in the past (-12.5%), NO. In the past, taking off 1/4 (6.25mg) of 1 of the 2 tiny pills hasn't worked 11x. (Either by myself making a crumbly mess with my pill-splitter or at an in-patient facility with an industrial one.) I almost went into Psychosis 3 of the 11 times & had to go back up to 50mg right-away. I had to admit myself to the hospital a few of those 1/4 pill reduction attempts, too. I recently calculated that was a -12.5% drop in dosage. No wonder it didn't work. Also, I was told by a Psychiatrist & once by a Doctor to stay with the 1/4 pill reduction and to take "just a little bit of Seroquel" when the limbic system withdrawal symptoms re-appeared. ...You mean like a Benzo? This is literally playing ping-pong with your neurotransmitters, and I wasn't even given "little bit" amounts so had to make do with a crumbly mess. This didn't work and fairly quickly sent me right back to the hospital where they sent me to an in-patient stay again. I held on for as long as I could at home using little pieces of Seroquel like a Benzo, because I did not want to go back to an in-patient facility again. All of this since July 2021 shattered my reputation with my Employer and caused unnecessary stress to my long-term partner, parent, and sibling; let alone myself. Earlier this year, I learned on my own about a liquid taper. It's truly shocking how nobody since July 2021 ever mentioned getting it made into a liquid in order to do an extremely slow taper; not even my Psychiatrist, who I chose finally to stop seeing in late 2022. But from extensive reading online, it's the standard to stop with a Medical Professional when things get unnecessarily out of control, doing harm and no good, and too much frustration. I also recently learned on my own more about Seroquel. I looked it up on go.drugbank.com in early 2022 when things were really getting really out of hand, I was unwell on medications, and things were snowballing out of control. I was scared shitless at how complex Seroquel was and how it differed so severely from Pristiq. Late last year, I learned even more about Seroquel: H1 (histamine - severe tranquilizing for my particular physiology) & D2 (inconsistent myoclonus for my particular physiology). It explained everything & confirmed that it's not "Psychosomatic" symptoms. & earlier this year, I learned more about Histamines, histamine receptors all over your brain and body, allergies, anti-histamines, stomach acid (H2), Monoamine oxidase (MAO) & Diamine oxidase (DAO), etc. Further, last week, I learned about a Low-Histamine Diet for people who have Spring-time allergies. While I don't have any comorbidities of any kind, this Seroquel is a beast on my particular physiology and am now semi-unenthusiastically doing a Low-Histamine Diet for the next handful of years as to not complicate this extremely slow taper & to hopefully reduce the extreme yet inconsistent tranquilizing. I'm now pretty sure how much water I drink + what I eat at dinner and before-bed most-definitely affects the severity of the tranquilizing the next day. Most days, it doesn't fully wear off until mid-afternoon! Rarely, it wears off once I'm awake in the morning. & Rarely, it lasts all day until I take it again at 8pm. From reading online, the menstrual cycle (different levels of the hormones during each phase) also affects Psychiatrric Medications's potency, clearance, etc. + hormone levels and histamines interract with each other + hormone levels and dopamine (D2 inconsistent myoclonus) interract with each other. So that's fun. I never wanted to take this 50mg I.R. Seroquel in the first place, but an E.R. had to give me something to take, because I had a severe reaction to LoLoestrin, which I went the day before to see a Doctor about growing symptoms and was told that the literature says mental health symptoms are very common for hormonal birth control. That's nice, & I've heard that from hundreds of women online, too. Bt I've tried ~7 different b/c pills before with no issues. I've never gone against my better judgement before. This link was very informative for Histamine: https://rxisk.org/guide-stopping-antidepressants/#Prominent_withdrawal_symptoms , as was FerralCat's Essay. When an in-patient facility had to add 50mg X.R. in Nov 2022 because I was withdrawing so severely from a few things at the same time, the tranquilizing greatly reduced, but it's still enough to halt my life. I think the inconsistent myoclonus also increased. So, now to the taper: I have a few questions. In the 'Seroquel Withdrawal' thread, they mention doing 1/2 pill + 1/2 liquid taper, as your Physiology is so used to pill-form. (I've ben stuck on this Anti-Psychotic since July 2021. That's 2.75 years.) So, maybe I should start my taper with one 25mg pill, two 6.25 mg (1/4's), & the rest liquid. (& as I slowly go down, get rid of a 6.25mg and replace that with a liquid, & so forth.) My question: does this seem fine to you guys? Note to self: I'd need to go back to the walk-in clinic to get an Rx for 6.25mg pieces, an Rx for 25mg pills (I only have like 16 left), & a revised Rx for the liquid. Currently, my liquid Rx is 40mg/day (-10% reduction) for 4 weeks & then go back to the walk-in clinic to get more liquid for the next "month-long 10% drop". I don't have the liquid on me, so I'm not sure the total mL in the bottle and whatnot. I'm aware that syringes can be very price with micromL's. This link overwhelmed me: https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/taper/special-tips-calculations-and-liquids This link is similar to the info on this forum: https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/taper/doing-calculations-taper This link confused me: https://antdep.alwaysdata.net/liquid/liquidForm.php I generally understand this link: https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/sites/default/files/2017-05/TheWithdrawalProject_TaperJournal_LiquidMixture_SampleChart.pdf After all of my reading around on here and all of the online calculators/etc, here's what I've come up with (holding for 2-6 weeks as needed not included): See 2 attached images. ****I'm a bit unclear about making smaller and smaller % (or mL?) reductions each 4-6 wks (however slow you want to go). That's been discussed on this forum regularly & want to make sure this taper doesn't go badly whatsoever. I can't afford to stress my partner out anymore, losing money anymore, or traumatizing myself even more than already am from all of this by being it withdrawal. & Finally, I will keep tapering off until the myoclonus & tranqulilizing of my physiology. If that's one 25mg, fine. If that's one 25mg and a 1/4 (6.25mg), fine. I'm still stuck on the 50mg X.R., but that can wait for the future, if at all. I'm on a lot of Serotonin-medication and was extremely hot for the last 1/2 of 2023, as well as scatter-brained and confused. Somehow, the extreme temperature went away back in Nov. I also had a lot of very unusual unlike extreme emotional lability due to all of the meds, especially in the summer. My partner likes me BECAUSE I'm emotionally uneventful and stable and can regulate my emotions/stress. I'm overmedicated, so I should've been experiencing the opposite. I'm well-aware from my Pristiq how dangerous the heat can be with Psychiatric Medications: they clear faster from your body or something? Especially if you're drinking more water in the summer? I expect to have issues with the heat for the next handful of summers, unfortunately.

JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium I’ll start with the Success Part, before I unfold the story. I am a classic poster-girl story of “Why You Should Taper.” I thought I couldn’t come off the drugs, I was convinced I was a “biological bipolar” – but by using SA’s conservative 10% or less tapering system, I hardly had any withdrawals this time, and could control my symptoms and make space for my stressors by holding. I’m a living example of why anyone should taper and hold in order to come off. And there is no such thing as too slow. I attribute my success to the SA taper, and a number of coping strategies. I got support. I had a psychologist, who was wholly supportive. I bullied my psychiatrist to do the taper “my way” instead of her way. She actually had helpful suggestions for lifestyle changes, too. I got an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, and later added an orthomolecular doctor and osteopath. I told my husband and all of my friends. I prepared for my taper. I owe so much to those who walked this path before me: AltoStrata, GiaK, Rhiannon, Petunia, BrassMonkey, MammaP, Bubble, Dalsaan, MeiMeiQuest, CymbaltaWithdrawal5600, and many more. And – to go further afield – Robert Whitaker for his excellent book, “Anatomy of an Epidemic,” and Will Hall for the “Icarus Harm Reduction Guide to Coming off Psychiatric Drugs” for showing me that it could be done, and how. And for helping me to accept that I may be different – but that different is not a medical condition. I got curious and read everything I could on the web, and learned a lot. I learned the most from SA and Beyondmeds.com. Most of what I have written as a moderator is not original – but is something I learned here or in my researches, that I applied to my life, and which I found effective. My psychiatrist resisted my desire to taper, but she told me she would support me if I put some things in place. We established a contract with my hubby, so that if I went off the rails, he would be able to get help for me. She would not taper me unless I made a commitment to take sun walks for light therapy and mood stabilization. I also eat meat and fish for mood stabilization & brain nutrition. I took up a tai chi practice and found a yoga studio which supports me. My karate mates have always supported me, even when I was too sick to participate. Meanwhile, my psychologist went to hear Robert Whitaker talk, and she came to realize how many of the cases she saw were people suffering from drug effects. She wrote glowing letters of progress to my psychiatrist, who really had no choice but to say, “Okay, I guess she’s doing well.” Nuts and bolts, I took a year to come off a low dose of reboxetine (it’s the least effective SNRI in the world, actually less effective than placebo), and another 2.5 years to come off the lithium. As I was suffering lithium toxicity (diabetes insipidus), I alternated some of my SNRI tapers with lithium tapers. I tapered 10% per month, or if while dry cutting, I had to drop by 15% (my largest taper), I would hold an extra month. I held an extra month if I had any upsets or stressors – funerals, travel, illness, bad news, etc. I held 3 months after the SNRI was gone before tapering the lithium again. My tapers were relatively symptom free. Most of my symptoms were from worry that I really was crazy – and there were mood spikes until I learned to manage my mood on my own. That’s what I should’ve learned when I got diagnosed 20 years ago. Nobody tells you that you can manage your own mood. In fact, nobody tells you that you are the only person who can manage your own mood! I greatly reduced gluten, especially wheat, and dairy. I cut the coffee way back. I start my day with protein (good for adrenals), and finish my day with carbs. I take magnesium baths whenever I feel "crunchy" and after every exercise session. I have raw food smoothies 2x a week. I take a number of supplements to manage my health without drugs. Most important: magnesium and fish oil. For mood & energy: NAC. I couldn’t take up meditation exactly, because of cult abuse in my past, but I can do tai chi and yoga, and I love breathing and mindfulness meditation. I found a great benefit to shamanic practice, because it is not worship of any foreign deity or guru, and my own inner experience is the guide to what I am learning and how I am growing. I took up creativity practices, like music, coloring, drawing, painting and writing. I took up correspondence with special people here on SA and in other places, so I could learn and grow by sharing with others. I was well supported by all of these people and practices, and I feel I have a web which will catch me if I ever fall down again. Sometimes now, I miss a practice. I might not get all the sun walks in, or I might eat wheat or dairy. But now I am well enough – I am buoyant enough – and I have enough practices – that missing one or two Jenga blocks doesn’t make the tower fall. (it also helps to not have a tall tower - our society asks too much of us, I believe, it's inhuman sometimes) When I come back, I’ll give more of my history – how crazy, abused, wild, suicidal, depressed, with unrelenting fatigue, and how I was convinced I was “bipolar.” Now, I have no diagnosis (I leave it on the medical charts so that I can refuse drugs – “No doctor, you can’t give me that, I’m bipolar!”), my body is broken from surgeries, abuse, accidents and pain. My major lasting drug effect is metabolic and autonomic dysfunction but those are compounded by surgeries, too. I still have severe delayed cycle sleep (but I always did: it is my difference), and unrelenting tinnitus. But my mental and emotional life is healthier than I’ve ever been before. I have compassion for my fellow human in a way I couldn’t before. I have passion for what I am doing, and a sense of purpose. I am driven to create, to share, to learn, to grow. I love meeting with people and listening, and feel so incredibly fortunate. I’m older and wiser than ever before, and I still have a lot of healing to do. But I am awake, alive, and grateful to be so.

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

Hello everyone. I was referred to this website by a doctor in the Boston, MA area as a place to post an 11 page write up I did that documents my Seroquel withdrawal and recovery experience. Since I used to do quality assurance work and wrote procedures, I wrote my summary in the form of a procedure that I hope others will find useful in navigating their own way through the process. The summary contains more details of my history but here are the basics. The copies I gave to my doctors and therapist has my real name in it but the copy that will be posted here has my name blacked out. I will be posting it in the appropriate forum once I figure out where to put it. I hope it helps someone since I had to go through my experience largely on my own and flying blind. Diagnosis: Bipolar 1, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Current Meds: Carbamazepine, Paxil, and Ativan as needed Total psychiatric medications since 1994 has been 18 different medications. At one point I was on 7 at the same time. I have been off of the Seroquel since August 1, 2021 and am very slowly recovering. At some point down the road I plan on tapering down and stopping my other medications. However, it will be awhile before I will be willing to go through the process again since as you all know, tapering and withdrawal is very tough to say the least. I have only been aware of this site for less than a week but have already found it to be very useful so thank you for all of the informative posts and associated links. I plan to make good use of it all in furthering my education on what was done to me over the years in the name of 'Help' --------- MOD NOTE The document refereed to can be found in this post.

Link to Benzo Forum Thread - Shep's Journey Link to French translation (courtesy of Erell): Se libérer de la psychiatrie - Shep : « Quitter la caverne de Platon » Leaving Plato’s Cave In Plato’s famous “Allegory of the Cave,” a group of human beings are chained since birth in a dark cave where a fire casts shadows of the world upon the walls. The shadows are all the prisoners know to be true. But one day, a prisoner breaks free and wanders out into the world. Her eyes are blinded by the sudden blast of sunlight and she is unsure of her reality and at times, longs to be back inside the familiar darkness. But as her eyes adjust, she is in awe of this new reality — people, nature, her own reflection! When she returns to the cave, the other prisoners laugh at her story in disbelief. . . . And so I left psychiatry — a dark cave of drug dependency, incarceration, deception, violence, mystification, and social control. The empty shadows on the walls that message this non-reality based belief system of mythical “mind diseases” fade out and a beautiful new reality unfolds before me. After 30 years, success from such an experience is a process, not a singular event. There may still be some unexpected waves, but that will allow the experience of re-emerging from periods of darkness with even more skill and resilience. For me, this part of the journey is very similar to the final phase of the grieving process. As Francis Weller reminds us in the book The Wild Edge of Sorrow, grief is sacred work. It’s an important teacher and should be honored, not feared. When symptoms are viewed as teachers and guides and you walk with them with curiosity and not fear, leaving Plato’s Cave turns into a journey of adventure and skill building. My signature symptom was - and is - DP/DR (depersonalization / derealization) and the lessons taught are in mindfulness and becoming The Observer. (I wrote about The Observer in several places in my benzo thread). I still have some lingering DP/DR, but this is a symptom I carry out of the cave with me, as I'm still learning from it and no longer view it as a problem but as a valued guide. Never give up — your new world awaits you. For many of us, it’s a brutal trip. So travel lightly and listen carefully to what your teachers and guides are telling you. As painful and confusing as it is, these symptoms are here for a reason. At five years off all drugs (from 30 years use), I can now: Run 30 - 60 minutes, four days a week, along with doing yoga and strength training. Runner’s high is beautiful! Bike 30 miles a week - urban cycling is now my main transportation to and from work because of subway and bus delays due to COVID-19 Work 40 - 45 hours a week (was unemployed for around 9 months due to severe akathisia and DP/DR) See the world with 20/20 vision (with glasses) - since last August (before that, my focus was in and out and I wasn’t able to get an accurate eyeglass prescription) Read books with a high level of concentration during windows. I get lost in activities now and experience a sense of “flow” when reading, working, exercising, and playing music for hours at a time Feel music deeply to the point of being moved to tears at times Experience powerful levels of spirituality and connection with the universe Sleep a restful 6 - 7.5 hours a night most nights (Netflix is a treat when insomnia hits now because I know the insomnia wave will pass and I like the excuse to watch movies in my favorites list) About me: 52-year-old female, currently working full time, no family, studio apartment, still navigating my way back into more social situations, complicated by the city’s partial shut-down due to COVID-19. Entry into psychiatric drugs: forced “treatment” in private and state psychiatric prisons off and on from the age of 17 until 21 for so-called “psychosis.” Gaslighted into long-term drug compliance with the lie that neuroleptics are a neuro-protective agent against brain damage caused by so-called “psychosis.” Never told about dopamine supersensitivity or tardive dysphoria. Drug and label history: 30 years of neuroleptics, benzodiazepines, z-drugs, so-called “anti”-depressants, and amphetamines. Labeled with “manic depression” and “PTSD” from years of physical and sexual abuse as a child. The “chemical imbalance” myth dominated the narrative because psychiatry replicates the patriarchal and paternalistic abuses of the nuclear family (and the larger political structure) within a medicalized context. This is not an accident. This is how the system is designed. Date of last drug taken: May 22, 2015 Reason for exiting the cave: After having spent more than 25 years working low-level jobs and bouncing from here to there, I descended into cognitive decline with voices and visuals, disassociation, akathisia, and suicidal thoughts. A psychiatrist suggested another change in drugs but — too fast, too soon, leading to a nervous system crash. After being threatened with forced “treatment” in the state psychiatric prison again in early 2014, I found Robert Whitaker’s book Anatomy of an Epidemic in a random Google search on my phone. The realization I had been poisoned was enough for me to control my behavior and save myself from further “treatment.” The psychiatric system disables and kills people. That’s not an abstract concept when you’re at the receiving end of forced “treatment.” Method of coming off psychiatric drugs: cold turkey and rapid taper off a cocktail of Seroquel, Viibryd, Klonopin, Sonata, Dexedrine, and Halcion (NOTE: I do NOT recommend this method of withdrawal - I didn’t find the withdrawal forums until I was almost completely off all drugs. Stay safe and taper if at all possible). Favorite non-drug coping skills: Shep’s Toolkit. For me, the non-drug coping skills were not optional. I still refer to this list and have tons more bookmarked in folders on my laptop. Mooji and Alan Watts are still my go-to sources for calming. The un-patienting process: During recovery, I began reading a lot of anti-psychiatry literature. Dr. Phil Hickey’s article sums it up well - In Defense of Anti-Psychiatry. Anti-psychiatry gave me the language to understand and name the world around me. Dr. Thomas Szasz is a major influence in my understanding of this world. He understood the power structure of psychiatry better than anyone I've read so far. Dr. Bruce Cohen's Psychiatric Hegemony: A Marxist Theory of Mental Illness helped me understand psychiatry's political structure. Psychiatry is about power and politics, not medicine. Psychiatry is not broken. The system was designed this way. Psychiatry is not a legitimate field of medicine and cannot be reformed. It needs to be abolished. To not message this would be to condone a form of structural violence that not only has disabled and killed millions of people, it also maintains and even furthers the systemic social and economic injustices these individuals represent. I hope one day, those still trapped in Plato’s Cave will be released and the cave will be sealed shut.

Hey everybody, I’m a new member, so please let me know if this is not okay or goes against anything. I will keep it as short and sweet as I can. Many years ago, I was put on Sertraline. I was quite young and I can’t remember anything negative about it. In December last year, I was put on 50mg of Sertraline (28th), and I tapered off 25mg of Notripyline and stopped completely the day prior (27th). I was on the Sertraline for 2 weeks, and 4 days when the itchiness started. It feels like a light tickle, or as if something has brushed against my skin, like a hair. It can be anywhere on my body. Once I scratch it, it stops, and then will move elsewhere. I’m not frantically scratching, it’s not keeping me awake and I’m not damaging skin, but it makes me anxious, agitated and restless. I will often bounce my leg or do something. The itching stopped for a few days (27th Jan until 31st) and then returned. I did develop a rash on my stomach on the 27th, which was itchy and red. I’m unsure what caused this, but it was near my injection site where I inject Ajovy (a headache/migraine medication). I injected that on the 21st of Jan, rash appeared 27th. I don’t think it’s related to my itchiness, it happened to settle when I first had the rash. The rash is no longer itchy and is fading with hydrocortisone cream. I am also on 25mg of Quetiapine, which was increased to 50mg on the 27th of December last year to assist with any insomnia that weaning of the Notripyline may cause. I guess what I want to know, is this a side effect of Sertraline/SSRIs? I’m very worried I’m developed some sort of compulsion or health condition. I’ve read in a lot of places that itchiness can be a side effect due to the serotonin increase. I also smoke marijuana. I’ve never had any other drug reactions. Thank you in advance

Hi, I've been on psychiatric medication since early March 2022. I've also been to a psych hospital twice after becoming suicidal due to severe insomnia and sleep-onset myoclonus, which started shortly after I was put on escitalopram and trazodone for depressed mood. Before being put on the meds, I was able to sleep without issues despite having low mood. No myoclonus, no twitching, my sleep was fine. After a couple of weeks on the drugs, I became hyperaroused in the evening and started experiencing muscle jerks as I was about to fall asleep, which jolted me awake every time. I talked to my psychiatrist about these symptoms and he switched me to sertraline and mianserin. The side effects disappeared and something strange happened: I would sleep easily 12-13 hours a day, which is unusually long for me. However, in May 2022 this effect subsided and the myoclonus returned. I was unable to get proper asleep for about a week and started having suicidal thoughts, thinking that my life is ruined because the antidepressants messed my brain up beyond repair and I would never be able to sleep. This landed me in a psych ward, where they gave me trazodone, olanzapine and benzodiazepines at bedtime. I improved and was discharged within a few days. I abruptly stopped the olanzapine they gave me in the psych ward, as my psychiatrist said it was unnecessary because I was not psychotic or schizophrenic (he didn't tell me to taper the olanzapine gradually!). He also refused to prescribe me benzodiazepines for sleep because they are addictive. I was put back on sertraline and quetiapine instead of the mianserin I had been taking before the hospital. The quetiapine worked well for my sleep initially but stopped working eventually as I developed tolerance. In August, I decided to stop all drugs, thinking they were causing my myoclonus and insomnia. Within days, I developed akathisia and severe insomnia. Feeling restless and on-edge 24/7 was the worst time of my life and I truly wanted to die. I ended up in the mental hospital for the second time. They fed me a bunch of antidepressants and antipsychotics, which were able to put me to sleep most of the time. I was discharged in November and immediately quit the antidepressants. I only kept taking the quetiapine 300 mg because it was able to help me sleep despite my myclonus. Now I'm free from all antidepressants and I take only the quetiapine, benzodiazepines and Z-drugs for sleep. It was probably a bad idea to quit the antidepressants they gave me in the hospital cold turkey, but I didn't want them to do me more harm than they already did. I'm trying to get off the quetiapine from 300 mg in 25 mg steps. I fear that my brain may have been damaged permanently by all the meds I've been taking. My myoclonus still persists and I am unable to get restorative sleep on the benzos and Z-drugs. I would welcome any and all advice on how to get rid of the drug-induced myoclonus. It really takes away so much sleep, energy and joy of life from me.

Dear SA team, Can you please help me/advise me regarding my issues with Mirtazapine? I was told by my psychiatrist that I simply stop taking 15mg Mirtazapine per night (I have been taking it for 18 months). He said that there shouldn't be a withdrawal period due to me also being put on Quetiapine (25mg per night) around 6 months ago. 17 days ago, I started to reduce my Mirtazapine intake from 1x 15mg tablet per night, to 1x15mg tablet every 3 nights. In the first 14 days I had horrible withdrawal symptoms including significant cognitive impairments like brain fog, dizziness, inability to think straight, forgetfulness, loss of coordination, feeling very spaced out mentally. I also found it very difficult to fall asleep, being awake until 9am on some nights. I then experienced palpitations a few nights ago around 2am which persisted all night long. Out of desperation, I took half a tablet (7.5mg Mirtazapine) at about 4am. However it seemed to do little- the palpitations persisted and I didn't fall asleep until 8am and only slept a couple of hours here and there. These palpitations stayed with me for several days. I rang my psychiatrist and he advised me to either stop taking the Mirtazapine entirely or to go back to taking it 1x15mg per night (my original dose). I came across your section on Kindling and became afraid that if I take the original dosage again, it might have a bad effect. I tired to call my psychiatrist back to ask this question, however his secretary told me that he couldn't see me until April and that he'd already advised me on this. 3 nights ago, I started taking half a tablet each night. It seemed to do nothing for the first day. However yesterday I felt calmer during the day insofar as the palpitations stopped. They did re-appear last night though. Today also the palpitations seem absent. However I have been worried by how energised and overstimulated I feel despite existing on just a couple of hours of sleep. Whilst I'm very thankful that the palpitations have relented (at least during the daytime yesterday and today) it worries me that I still feel overstimulated. Could this lead to akathisia/ mania due to taking too much (half the original dose 7.5mg)? Or is it because I'm taking too little and this is simply anxiety? Can you please recommend me a reinstatement dosing amount? I don't know what else to do right now. I am terrified of this getting worse (and potentially becoming permanent?) and am not receiving any proper help from my psychiatrist. I really don't know what to do here. I just want to know how much I should take that is a safe reinstatement amount. Is half a tablet too much? Will it lead to kindling? Or is it too little and I need to go back to the full amount to get better? Is this overstimulation a sign of kindling or is it an anxious nervous system? Mirtazapine is also a unique drug in that it functions more strongly as a sedative at lower doses and as an anti depressant in higher doses. So shouldn't the half tablet be a stronger sedative for my nervous system than the full tablet? Sorry if the information is a bit all over the place, my mind isn't coherent right now. I would greatly appreciate any advice given. Thank you very much, Brendan.

I was looking for something else and ran across these articles. Apparently there has been an association for nearly 20 years now that anti psychotics, especially risperidone, used long term can be a potential cause of pituitary tumors. Recent studies are firming this up and finding an association. Great 🫢 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30531551/ https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Fulltext/2012/12000/Atypical_Antipsychotics_and_Pituitary_Tumors.1.aspx https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/antipsychotic-drug-may-be-linked-pituitary