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  1. Hello Everyone, Let me introduce myself. You can call me Sebas (38), i'm from Amsterdam. Hope my English is okay. I was diagnosed with anxiety issues around 2004 and then started using Seroxat, I believe it's called Paxil in the US. I'm aware by now of all the problems this medicine is causing. In other words, i've read a lot, and i mean A LOT about it. I can almost graduate about the subject After several attempts to stop, I found out in 2015 or 2016 about the 5-10% reduction rule. That helped me from 20 mg (10 ml) tot 12 mg (6 ml) in about 1,5 years (estimated). I'm using the fluid suspension and some squirts for accurate dosage. From 6 ml down to 5,8 took me 5 weeks to feel allright, then i stabilized for a week and went back down from 5,8 tot 5,6. All the usual withdrawal symptoms occur during tapering periods such as illness, nerve system problems, visual, fatigue, stomache cramps and also i'm countering eye circles. Since the last dosage (from 5,8 tot 5,6) i've been feeling bad for 9 weeks already. Especially my stomache and my energy. So i'm now wondering what to do, wait (and wait...), go back to 5,8, go back to 6,0 of try to switch to another AD. Cause this one is really @#$%&* mainly cause of the fast half-life period. I've read about a cross tapering method. I asked my doktor for a psychiatric consult about it. Or...could it be my body (and mind) is telling me this dose is beneath the minimum that i just need for my personal wellbeing. I'm familiair with magnesium, omega 3/fish oil and multi vitamin for support. I'm looking forward fto exchanging some knowledge. Bye Sebas
  2. Excuse me if I'm being vague / chaotic, it's too hard to focus or think about anything, also I apologize for not researching much on the site, it takes a lot of effort just to type this and I'm too desperate, however I'll take as much as time as needed to follow through any reply / references I get, thanks in advance. It's been years and I didn't know the cause was antidepressants, I only remember a few names (Clonszipam, Fluxtonin[I think], Seroxat, Alprazolam..) I've been through 10 different doctors and each gave me a different pack of 4 meds, I don't remember many of the names since it was more than 4 years ago and I spent 3-6 months on each pack, I just remember suffering from 24/7 seizure symptoms, endless fear, and stomach complications, they're still with me till now, calmed down a little after 3 years of fighting, but I made a mistake an started Amitriptyline, and I'm getting complications each time I try to lower the dose (it's only 10 mg, and I get seizures whenever I go off it for half a day) Somehow my migraine med (Zomitriptan) eases most of the symptoms, doctors keep brushing off my pain saying I'm fine. Basically it was: 3 years of chaotic 4 pack prescriptions by 10 different doctors >> cold turkey withdrawal (because they refused to tell me how to go off the meds and I screwed up) >> withdrawal effects for 3 years, slight recovery after the long fight >> getting stuck with 10 MG Amitriptyline (reduced to 5 now) and getting seizures if I go off I'll add in any details when I remember them, My symptoms before Amytriptyline were: - Nausea (too heavy) - chronic fatigue (too heavy, hardly can stand up) - dizziness, lack of coordination, - full time panic - twitching in muscles, uncontrollable - mouth shivers like it's cold and it becomes hard to talk or stop it - seizures trigger after eating, along with psychological complications like extreme fear, anxiety and loss of coordination, I still have no idea why this happens, and it mostly happens if the food is dense / oily (even drinks trigger that) - too hard to think, focus or even read messages - full time fear - too hard to identify my pain type, source or symptoms (including the ones I mentioned, took me months to detect them) - unidentifiable heavy pain I hardly managed to overcome the seizures before I started Amytriptyline, but they were back as soon as I tried to withdraw Symptoms on Amitriptyline : same except: - extreme fatigue - sickness (as much as Sinus / Vertigo, I mistook it for them at the beginning, I'm using their med to relieve the symptoms - increased fogginess / separation from reality - loss of taste, and increased craving for all sorts of organic / liquid materials (including the most disgusting ones, I can't distinguish in terms of feeling) - decreased energy from the already low levels On Amytriptyline withdrawal : - Seizures, mild to heavy I guess - Suicidal behavior on extreme seizures, because I lose all awareness / emotions and only pain remains, feels like I'll only live pain for the rest of my life A few notes: - The symptoms I mentioned are based on my own research and I could be describing them wrong, for example I though I my "seizures" were simply "panic attacks" until I checked how panic attacks are and checked the first search result of "seizures" in Google, I still don't know enough about seizure types but I know that it's more than a panic / fear, you're welcome to ask me or correct me about any symptoms and / or their meaning - Doctors never told me any diagnosis, they simply threw me meds after a short interview, I was 18-ish back then and didn't know the risks of what they were doing, you're welcome to ask me about that part too since I'm not in the best country to get diagnosed
  3. It’s my first time posting so hello to everyone . I’m so glad I stumbled on this site I’ve been so scared not knowing what was going on with me . ill try and make this as short as I can . In August of 2018 I hit what I believe to be called poop out (reaching tolerance) from taking seroxat for 15 years straight . Anxiety started to creep into my days even though I was on 20mg and hadn’t had problems only minor in the past . A visit to the dr led to him increasing my dosage to 30mg. I didn’t feel happy about this and decreased back down within 3 weeks. I knew for me the answer was to taper off. In November 2018 i went to see a psychiatrist for advice on tapering as my dr hadn’t got a clue (too long to go into) . She said to drop 5mg see how I went for 4 weeks before dropping again . This seemed to go ok . In December 2018 she said to drop another 5mg again I felt ok. Don’t get my wrong I had lots of weird symptoms with some depression and anxiety but didn’t feel too bad I put this down to the 50mg of pregabalin she said I should take three times daily (prescribed in November ) . I take twice daily on the advice of my dr. In January she said to decrease by 2.5 mg which I have done. I am now taking 7.5mg daily . From reading things on this site I now know I am tapering tooooooo quickly and my body is now telling me this too as my symptoms are more pronounced and the depression is really setting in. I don’t know what to do for the best and was hoping for some advice here. Do I stay put and wait to get stable though I have read somewhere on this site that it can take up to 18 months to start to stabilise after poop out. Or do I increase tiny amounts until I feel able to cope better with the symptoms? I am still working every day . my thoughts before finding this site were that I needed to get off seroxat because it had started to make me feel so much worse and that by keep taking it I’m poisoning my body and it will never head towards homeostasis while I’m still taking it no matter what dose. I would be so grateful for any advice .
  4. Hi good people🙂 Sten from Norway here. Living outside Oslo, am 59 years old, and have 2 kids ( 24 and 27). English is not my native language, so please bear with me. I have always been a very senitive person and did grow up in a familiy with 5 brothers. I am nr 3. My father was struggling with mental issues, and my mother was a emotional distant person. Not much comfort and love there. I got meningites age 10 and almost died, but came back. When I started to get anxiety problems ehan I wast 18-19 years, my father took med to his doctor to get this fantastic pills. That is where my Paxil period started. I was using them for many years, while studying, but still had a lot of problems with anxiety. Worked with som psycoterapists, but it did not help much. After 10 years I was told that it was a new drug that wast much better, and I started with Seroxat. It is hard for me to remember how long iI did use them, and how many times I managed to stay off, but in 2001 and managed to quit. I then started on a acupuncture education, much because I thought it could save me from the drugs and help with my anxiety. Ii was hard, and I also had a wife that never understood my problems, so in 2012 my GP said it was best if I started with Cipralex, that was sooo much better than Seroxat. I used them for 5 years, felt totally numb, flat, did not feel anything. I then tried to taper and quit, went through hell, so my brothers that also use Cipralex convinced me to restart. That was the worst month in my life. Then after attending av Joe Dispenza workshop in Scotland I decided to try quitting again. I tapered down from march to September, and tomorrow it is one year without any drugs. What is special is that I was allowed to move in to the acupuncture school where I had been a student 15 years ago. After I quit I have had a lot of Acupuncture treatments, with focus on cleansing my blood, reduce stress and strengthen my Water energy. This is where fear and anxiety is signals of imbalance. I have had tinnitus for 20 years, and also Insomnia during this winter. It really did help with liquid melatonin from the health food store. I also take Ashwagandha - an ayurvedic supplement, and also Vit D, Ginko Biloba, and after reading this site, I have started with Milk Thistle, Vit B Complex and Fish Oil. Have had a lot of muscle pain, and it is so good to read that many of you have the same. I am optimistic, and must say it is interesting to start feeling again, having all kind of emotions and my kids tell me that I am much calmer and nice to be with. I hope that I can manage the coming waves, and also that I can enjoy the windows. Sending love and good energy from now colder Norway.
  5. Hello Everyone, This is for Fresh, who has coerced me in to finally starting my own forum thread which I will add to over time. Please pull up a chair, sit down and may be get a hot drink and let me begin. History In a galaxy.. far far away.... oh no that's not it. Ah this is it....... I was holidaying in Italy and got a bit too much sun one day, which meant that I got a pretty servere case of heat / sun stroke. I was unable to sleep for days on end as the slightest noise would jar me awake. I was also unable to eat properly at this time and had a bad stomach, which I believe was all brought on by the sun episode. I remember having a feeling that there was a black cloud above my right eye all of the time. I started to get depressed and felt myself getting lower and lower. Until one morning a few days after the incident, I had an ice cold shower. This bought on my first ever panic attack. I first had a feeling of buzzing in my head and then my muscles in my legs and hands started to contract. I now know this is caused by hyperventilation. An ambulance was called and I was taken to the ER in an Italian hospital where I was given Valium to calm me down. When I came round the black cloud had disappeared. (never to return.... well at least thus far). I was sent home and told to take liquid Valium twice a day for 3 further days. My holiday was coming to an end and this would see me through until I was on the flight home. I slept like a baby and felt wonderful when awake. I thought the whole episode was over, but little did I know that the big change in my life was just starting. I came home and was fine for 24 hours. I went to the cinema to watch the movie "Twister" and it was whilst the film was at one of it's high tension moments that I experienced my second panic attack, it was nowhere near as bad as my first but it affected me for the next couple of days as once again I lost my appetite. I started a new job and this put me in to another tailspin, and it seemed as though panic and anxiety ruled my life for the next 8 months or so. I was put on a short course of betablockers, but they didn't do anything. I can't remember the name of that particular medicine. I finally saw a GP and was diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, I can honestly say that other than the depressive episode whilst on holiday I have never felt depressed in my life. Yes I have had blue days but never what I now think as depression. I was prescribed Seroxat 10mg once a day. Which I started to take in the morning. Early issues involved initial panic attack when first staring the meds and then suicidal ideation which I had never experienced before. I was concerned and spoke to a GP who then prescribed Diazepan to help me "get on to the drug", a strange phrase and if I'd realised at that time what these things were doing then I would have stopped taking them. It took approximately 2 - 4 weeks for me to start to feel relief and during this time I felt the meds entering every organ in my body or at least that's what I swear I felt. I even got in to a stage where I felt myself rocking back and forth but this only lasted a day or so. Anyway after 4 weeks I was better and over the course of a few months I started to feel "normal" (whatever that may be). I stayed on the meds for a few years before attempting to wean / taper myself off, but this was very shortlived as the symptoms soon appeared. Of course the GP said.... "that the original condition was coming back" and "you need to go back on the meds". So like a good patient always does, they follow the doctors orders, because after all, they know what is right for you, right? So I think I was on Seroxat for approximately 4 years and then started to experience what I now know as "poop-out", where the meds stopped working. So my GP moved me over to Escitalopram as it was a "easier" medication to contend with and would stop me feeling the SI's. Yes this was one of the side effects once the Seroxat had stopped working. To be continued..... Namaste. DC.
  6. Hello, Firstly thank you for this groups existence and the valued information it holds I will try to keep my story short as possible, In year 2000 I had a emergency operation, this in turn caused me my first ever panic attack, after the op I had a further panic attack and developed agoraphobia, this all developed in a very short time of only about 4 weeks at home during the operations recovery. As agoraphobia set in, I never had anxiety about going out, my body would just become stiff and in pain to the point I couldn't walk when I went out. I went to the doc, he put me on 20mg seroxat and said I have anxiety/depression/agoraphobia. ( I know i've never had depression in my life.) . At this point I had a family to feed and really blind in the knowledge of what's just happened to me, I was ill and there was a medication to use, ( no offer of therapy ) Once on paxil I was back to work in another two months, I had all the usual start up symptoms including suicidal ideology. I remained on 20mg of seroxat with no reviews for 18 years, really not many issues, although in 2016/17 I did notice some changes, libido dropped out, restless legs, more emotional, In Late 2017 I dropped my 20mg dose to 10mg in the space of 3 months, ( Big mistake I now know). Whilst fast taper I had no symptoms, and the 3 months after that the drop holding at 10mg I had no symptoms, First withdrawal symptoms was joint pain and was the only symptom I had for another 3 months, since then until today I'm slowly getting worse, with most of the well known symptoms listed. Tinittus sensitivity , reflux, bladder, Colon, gut, groin/genital, dropped heart rate, amazing head pressures, shakes/vibrations, a touch akathesia, anxiety, sleep, muscle burn, twitches, restless legs/arms, dep and derealization, the list goes on and on, I dropped sugar a year ago, tried magnesium glycinate and got up to 250mg daily, no benefit. Tried good quality fish oil, had reaction anxiety attack. My diet is pretty clean because I had reflux since 2015, and managed with no medication. I take no other medications especially whilst in withdrawals. I have small windows maybe an hour or two in the month. I've really been lucky with sleep apart from the odd period I've managed 6 hours average a night, I've been off my work and in withdrawals for 20 months. I've been on the remainder 10mg seroxat for 23 months, with the hope of stability. The last month symptoms have increased massively, mainly constant fibromalagia type pain, and severe head and ear pressure/sensitivity. With diminished sleep, Also a building and worrying development, if I get stressed or anxious, even emotional, I get some tight squeezeing pressure down the back of my head and ears, it's like a freezing spasm/vibration, I had a bad episode of this when talking with a person, it's actually temporarily froze my head and upper body for a couple of seconds. Like a mini fit, I'm feeling this tension more each day and its worrying me greatly. With this recent uptake in symptoms I'm really looking at increasing my dose, I know it could be a massive gamble, as I know and have read enough, or even a drop in dose, I would just like some experienced advice remembering the fact I've been in withdrawals 20 months and remained on a steady dose of 10mgfor 23 months. Thanks in advance for any help
  7. I was put on 20mg of Seroxat in May 1996 (directly after two weeks of Valium). I was 19 years old. Prescription was for Panic Disorder, GAD and Mild Depression (although I had never felt depressed and explained that many times over the years to my doctor(s)). As were many, I was told I had a chemical balance which, just like a diabetic needs insulin, I needed seroxat. Since then, I have tried approximately 5 times to come off the medication (with taper of sorts - usually 10mg for a few weeks and then to zero). Each time, the anxiety came back, always with new symptoms (extreme nausea, vertigo, increased anxiety, obsessive dark thoughts). I also developed irrational fears (fear of driving on highways and over bridges, fear of ski lifts, fear of heights, fear of flying, fear of business meetings. In fact, pretty much fear of everything.). Each time I visited a doctor, I was told the same thing: you have a chemical imbalance and need to go back on Seroxat. Sure enough, a single tablet would have me feeling back to “normal” within a matter of hours. I used to joke about it with doctors “wow, what a placebo effect. This should take weeks to work?”. Now I realise I was (probably) in withdrawal. Two years ago, after being in a protracted depression for the best part of 10 years (something I hadn’t realised as it had become my baseline state), I had got myself down to approximately 7mg a day. The reason I was trying to come off was two fold: firstly, my wife and I wanted to start a family and I was concerned about both my fertility and damage to any baby I conceive. Secondly, I had made a huge effort to get fit, was running 40km a week and had dropped from 92kg to 78kg-I’m 178cm. This gave me the confidence that I was in the best physical place to achieve it. Soon after, I suffered what I considered to be a mental breakdown. I was ready to leave my loving wife and had developed a clinical apathy to everything. I became petrified I would commit suicide (I never felt this was realistic but the thought of it gave me panic attacks). Furthermore, I started wondering such thoughts as “will I jump off the balcony whilst sleep walking”. I had been seeing a psychologist for some time but talking about things seemed to make the situation worse. I also started seeing a CBT therapist. I would feel better during a session but on leaving, my mood would severely crash, like nothing I had ever experienced in my life. I knew I was in a bad place. The psychologist recommended me to a psychiatrist who was the most uncaring person I have ever met. How she medically practices, I have no idea. She wasn’t interested in my drug history, offered me barely five minutes of her time, and prescribed 50mg Trittico to be taken before bed. I took it for a few nights but decided that it was not right for me. She then offered me several other kinds of SSRIs. I declined them all and went back to 20mg of Seroxat. However, this time felt different. I was sure that seroxat was nothing more than the placebo (how could you explain the fact I got better after taking a single favor each time I had a “relapse”. As suspected, i had lost belief in the drug, and it did not bring the immediate relief like it had every time previously. I was petrified. To me, this confirmed my worse fears. It had been a placebo all this time, and now, because I was sure it wasn’t going to work, it didn’t. I was a lost case. This created severe anxiety and panic. All I could think was that I had been on a placebo for 20 + years and now I had uncovered this fact, ADs would never work for me again. I was destined to suffer dibilitating anxiety and depression for the rest of my life. Things improved slightly after being back on 20mg for a few weeks. But I was still anxious and depressed, and the mood swings were unbareable. During this time, i had had a medical for my work which showed I had very high cholesterol (7.99 in European measures) and the doctor put me on Crestor. At the time, the cardiologist told me “this is not the first time I have seen somebody at the surgery who has unusually high cholesterol following a long period of exposure to SSRIs”. This was the first time I considered what the meds had been doing to me over the years. My dark moods seemed to get worse during this period of being on Crestor. My cholesterol dropped by 50% in this time, but I could now barely function. I did some research into the link between statins and depression and decided to quit the Crestor cold turkey. My moods improved somewhat (at least I could hold a conversation now). I had also started to suffer from eczema on my arms, forehead and legs (first time in my life). Furthermore, I suffered from a bout of Diverticulitis (the doctor told me the main risk factor was constipaiton) and also blood in the urine (which after every test, scan, x-ray known to man, a cause could not be found). Further research made me realise that not only could all of these problems be linked to seroxat, so could my unexplained depression and mood swings. I made the decision to come off seroxat for good. That was in October of last year. I found a new psychiatrist who was supportive of my decision and recognized the importance of taper. However, he didn’t believe that my problems could be caused by seroxat, and thought taper over a month was perfectly acceptable. By this time, I had been on seroxat 22 years. I decided to taper for longer. I immediately dropped to 10mg per day as this is something that I had down many times throughout the years without too many problems. I would get the usual brain zaps but nothing I couldn’t handle. As I started to reduce mg by mg (1mg per week) using liquid, I could actually feel my constant depressive mood lifting somewhat (perhaps only by 10%, but there was something ). This encouraged me to go on. I sped up towards the end to 1mg per week as I just wanted to be off it. I took my last dose in the second week of January. Since then, I have been going through withdrawal. The first couple of weeks were ok (brain zaps I have suffered since 1996 so they don’t scare me). My general depressive level definitely improved. The hardest part for me was (and still is) the rapid onset of change in mood. One minute I am fine, the next my mood crashes. During every crash, I immediately think “the only reason I feel better is the placebo effect. The depression and anxiety is going to come back and get me”. CBT has helped with this catestrophic thinking and the moods seem to only last for a few hours (rather than days or weeks as previously). Every week, as a whole, I am seeing huge improvements. I have cried a lot (and it feels great). I am starting to look forward to things again. The apathy has lifted by 75%. I had a few days of panic and GAD earlier on that would seem to come out of nowhere. I would just wake up and feel down and have fear. I also started to wake during the night in a panic. But I stayed with it. A few weeks ago, I started waking more often during the night. 3 or 4 times. That developed into full blown insomnia for a few days. Last night, I slept without waking once for the first time in a month. The anxiety is now 75% better. Two days ago, I feel I had my best day for years and years. I am generally excited but scared. Since January, I have dropped from 86kg to 78kg. My skin condition has totally cleared up. What if me feeling better is a coincidence? Or the placebo effect? I have read that it can feel you are through the withdrawal, only for it to come back even harder in the future. How will I cope with that!? Now that I’ve felt well, I don’t want to go back where I was. I currently live in Zurich, Switzerland. I can find almost no support here. No doctor, psychologists, psychiatrist or therapist seems to have any idea about withdrawal. They are all desperate to tell me I have relapsed. I so truly want to believe they are wrong, that this whole thing is a drug induced nightmare, and that I will continue to get better. However, the devil on my shoulder is still there. During any period of weakness, he reminds me that the recovery is all in my head and it’s only a matter of time before I relapse. And so here I am. Hoping to be part of a support group that can help me with my withdrawal and keep me believeing. Even more importantly, I want to help others.
  8. Hello Surviving Antidepressants team, I am so glad and grateful you exist. One of the most challenging things about withdrawing from antidepressants is the feeling of loneliness. Although I'm new to the site today, I used Paxil Progress in 2013 and have often browsed SA since. I cannot overstate how comforting it is to know I am not alone and to see people with such kindness and wisdom. Here is my introduction. I'm sorry if it's long, rambling or all over the place. It's kindof cathartic putting this down, even if it does stir some uncomfortable feelings and memories. I have wanted to stop taking Seroxat since 2006, when I was 26 years old. I believe like most psychiatric drugs it blunts all emotions, and has turned me into a zombie that craves carbs and sleep, making me fat and unhealthy. It's also killed my libido for many years. Then in 2010, aged 30, I met my partner and knowing he was the one, I have since wanted even more desperately to stop Seroxat as we'd like to have children. I'm 39 now, and fear time is running out, but would never want to get pregnant and force this drug on a developing baby. I hope I have correctly set up my new account today and am right in doing this introduction. As per my history below, I have been tapering using the 10% method since the middle of last February. I am using liquid Seroxat, which here in the UK is formulated so that 10ml = 20mg. This means practically that I consider my doses in millilitres. I use a two different types of oral syringes – the larger has 10ml total capacity broken into 1ml / 0.2ml increments, and the smaller syringe has 1ml capacity broken into 0.1ml / 0.02ml increments. My latest programme of tapering has been very comfortable and I have very little to report. I suspect I have had occasional symptoms but I have been very careful not to catastrophise or ruminate, having learned that from my previous taper and various psychological therapies (e.g. CBT) in the past. I also believe that some health complaints are part and parcel of human life, whether antidepressants or involved or not. However, I am introducing myself here as I have had an unexpected crisis in the past two weeks. Possibly because it's been a busy Christmas and I was not paying much attention, but for my latest reduction of 22 December, I took 2.92ml instead of the 2.98ml I was meant to take every day. I did not realise this until five days later, on 27 December, when my other half happened to notice I'd written 'take 2.98ml daily' on the bottle box but saw me measuring out 2.92ml. This means for five days I had made a something more like a 11.2% drop than the 9.9% drop that was planned. As it happens, on Christmas day, I felt very poorly with massive anxiety and chest tightness, repeating again on 26 December. By 27 December – the day I realised I had been taking too little Seroxat – I was having horrible digestive issues with lots of heartburn, despite avoiding all the usual food causes of this and eating very conservatively for the festive period. On 27 December and every day since, I have taken the amount I was meant to take for this cycle – 2.98ml, or 5.96mg. But this is where the real difficulties have emerged. My sleep has become very broken, and I am waking every couple of hours in a state of awful panic, with a feeling of inner trembling and bizarre, disturbing memories, phrases and thoughts – thoughts that are feel like they're written in bright neon light and someone is turning them on and off randomly with no logic and no intention by me. Physically, my breathing is shallow, despite consciously trying to practise deep breathing, and my digestive system feels like it is burning. This feeling is continuing into the day and although I'm trying to 'change the channel' and do something else, it's distinctly there in the background. As the panic awakenings seem so reminiscent of my 2013 taper, I quickly realised what was happening, even if on this occasion it has felt milder. I consider that period of my life extremely traumatic, and so it's not something that I like to revisit in my mind. And this in turn fuels the panic – I'm praying that history is not repeating itself – I find that prospect terrifying. My GP is useless and point blank refuses to acknowledge withdrawal exists, and has a 'told you so, you should stay in it for life' attitude if I ever get into discussion with her about my difficulties in coming off Seroxat. Fortunately, I can request the repeat prescription for liquid Seroxat online, so I don't have to have any interaction with her. In fact, I'd rather not have any interaction with medical professionals on this subject. In my own experience since I moved to a new area in 2013, I've only encountered hostility and cynicism. I've already decided in my mind to remain on 2.98ml (5.96mg) and not drop again for a few months (my plan would ordinarily be to drop to 2.7ml / 5.4mg from 19 January and continue onwards). My questions are related to this episode, but also more general questions that have weighed on my mind for ages: 1. Do you think my excess drop could have had an effect on me? Even if, in my case, it was a tiny difference? 2. Do you think I've technically updosed, considering I noticed my mistake after just five days? 3. Is this tiny excess drop plus subsequent updose a possible cause for my pronounced symptoms? Can such tiny variations really have such a strong effect? 4. Does stabilising really happen? Could my plan to remain on 2.98ml for a while now offer stabilisation? 5. My sleep pattern for the past week has been extremely disrupted. Is broken sleep better than no sleep? Should I give in to the urge to nap in the day because at the moment some sleep is good, and if my body is craving it, should I listen to it? (I'm self-employed and work from home so this is possible for me). 6. Do medical professionals resist recognising the problem of antidepressant withdrawal – especially now in the face of such strong evidence – because they'd effectively be admitting they got it wrong, and fear it will open the floodgates for legal action? (I get very angry about this). 7. My partner and I plan to move house in 2019 and get married soon after. Should I put further tapering on hold until after these stressful events? (I hate having to put my health plans on hold like this, but I'm also a realist who doesn't want a repeat of my 2013 trauma). If so, considering I'm now on 5.96mg, would getting to a round figure – e.g. 5mg – be sensible, since I could ask for 10mg tablets and simply cut them in half? Getting from 20mg to 5mg and being stable would still be a positive achievement! I appreciate that some of my questions are really more for me to find the ultimate answer, but I'm still very grateful for people's thoughts and experiences. Many, many thanks. This website and Paxil Progress back in 2013 is a genuine life saver. ______________ MY HISTORY______________ 2002 to 2007 22 to 27 years old - First prescribed Seroxat 20mg daily and taken properly, fully compliant. Do not have records, but attempted to stop by alternating doses around 2006, age 26. Was awful with terrible brain zaps and vomiting. Reinstated by psychiatrist, and pushed up to 40mg by early 2007, age 27. 2013 failed Seroxat taper 33 years old - January to October 2013: 40mg to 0mg Seroxat, by dropping 2mg every fortnight. Did not know of the 10% method. Terrible reaction soon after hitting zero. - November to mid-December 2013: took various drugs prescribed by doctors who would not recognise withdrawal, including diazepam, quetiapine, zopliclone. I did not continue with any of these drugs after mid-December 2013. - January 2014 was back fully on Seroxat, and worked quickly back up to 20mg from mid-December 2013. Latest, 2018 taper, following 10% method, starting with 20mg Seroxat 38 years old - Saturday, 17 February 2018 – 9 ml / 18 mg - Saturday, 17 March 2018 – 8.1 ml / 16.2 mg - Saturday, 14 April 2018 – 7.3 ml / 14.6 mg - Saturday, 12 May 2018 – 6.58 ml / 13.16 mg - Saturday, 9 June 2018 - 5.92 ml / 11.84 mg - Saturday, 7 July 2018 - 5.34 ml / 10.68 mg - Saturday, 4 August 2018 – 5 ml / 10 mg - Saturday, 1 September 2018 - 4.5 ml / 9 mg - Saturday, 29 September 2018 - 4.06 ml / 8.12 mg - Saturday, 27 October 2018 - 3.66 ml / 7.32 mg - Saturday, 24 November 2018 - 3.3 ml / 6.6 mg - Saturday, 22 December 2018 – Meant to be 2.98 ml, but between 22 and 27 December, believe I took 2.92ml by mistake / Meant to be 5.96 mg but by mistake, probably took 5.84mg daily between 22 and 27 December During this latest taper: - No other pharmaceutical drugs. - Rarely drink alcohol. - Drink between 1 and 3 cups of (black) tea or coffee a day. - Take vitamin D supplement as was found to be deficient in it in spring 2018 (my guess is due to not liking/eating oily fish, not being a fan of sunshine and being overweight – I'm about 18 stone, or 252lbs). - Also take a general multivitamin/mineral approximately every other day. - I use an e-cigarette lots. I gave up smoking in 2015 after a chest infection and so vaping is my nicotine source.
  9. Hi, I just wanted to share my experience of this drug and what I am going through. I was put on seroxat at 18 due to messing with recreational drugs. I was fine on 20mg for the next 17 years living life to the max!!! However, due to the birth of my son i wanted to be drug free, and had not had any symptoms for 12 years! I went to the doctor and she said to come off it over a few weeks and I'd be fine. This was not the case, after 7 weeks post taper and about 3 weeks off totally I had a total nervous breakdown. Dr put me back on 20mg, this was 4 months ago. Since then my nervous system is in complete meltdown, im suffering RLS, hand tremmors, depression, anxiety. The Doc suggests trying higher dose of Paroxetine and / or Mirtazipine. Has anyone experienced this, what did you do? Word of advice do your own research and read Shipko, and Healys work on SSRI discontnuation syndrome before you decide to come off it, especially if you have been on it for many years! Don't make my mistake and just trust your Dr!
  10. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  11. Hi all, 48-year-old male from Scotland here. In 2005, I was prescribed 20mg of Paxil daily, and I didn't stop taking it until April 2020. At first I really needed some medical intervention thanks to bad anxiety and moderate depression. Paxil was a lifeline that I needed. Everything was absolutely fine until 2017. That's when I noticed that - slowly but surely - I had lost my personality and my libido. In 2018 I was diagnosed with having low testosterone and soon after started injecting testosterone cypionate every four days under the advice of a doctor. At first, things saw a major improvement and I felt that I was back on the road to recovery. I still had nagging doubts though, and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that Paxil was robbing me of who I am. In April 2020 I tapered off of Paxil within the space of one month. About a month after that, I discovered this forum and realised I'd made quite a mistake. However, by that time I was completely off of Paxil and there was no way I was going back. So I chose to "hang in there" and to ride it out. I think my story becomes a little different at this point. For sure, I had all of the symptoms that I've read on this forum: The intrusive thoughts (oh my lord, the intrusive thoughts were brutal). I was thrown into a state of permanent anxiety. I stopped sleeping for months. I lost 12kg in weight in the space of a month. I became angry. Not at anyone in particular. Just angry. I cried. A lot. At first it was amazing to re-discover crying after being so emotionally numb for so long, but it soon became an issue. I convinced myself that I had PSSD. I think that what didn't help me was my testosterone replacement therapy. I've read various reports that SSRIs can mess up people's hormone levels and I think that - perhaps in my case - my body suddenly had to deal with trying to re-balance its hormone levels post SSRIs as well as dealing with a regular "external" dosage of testosterone, all on top of dealing with Paxil withdrawals. I forced my poor body and brain to deal with multiple layers of re-adjustment and I was set adrift for the best part of a year. Maybe I'm blaming too much on the testosterone replacement therapy, I'm not sure. Maybe Paxil withdrawal on its own was 99% of my problem. All I know is that I rubbish year when I stopped Paxil. I remember fist coming to this forum last year and suddenly realising that SSRI withdrawal was a "thing" and that many people were/are going through at the same time as me. My most early memory is reading an article linked from here about emotional spiralling and thinking, "That's me! THAT'S ME!!". Thanks also to this forum, I also discovered meditation which has become just as important to me as going to the gym regularly. It's fair to say that this forum changed my life in a good way. I still have a couple of issues with anxiety that periodically raises its head (meditation and exercise work really well for me in this respect) and I still keep a spreadsheet which records the number of "successful" sexual encounters I've had with my wife to keep my PSSD fears at bay (I'm so embarrassed to write this part but it was such a huge thing for me in the past 18 months). I have to say though that I'm a different person for the better today. Thanks to exercise and meditation (and a little bit of time), I believe I'm a better, more humble, human being. So I just wanted to say hi and thanks, everyone. It's so very appreciated.
  12. Hi, feels like coming home. I have been coming off paroxetine since 2015 and took my last Seroxat around 20 March 2020 in lockdown. Seemed a good use of being on my own in the pandemic. My coming off has been hard all the time. Physical sensations like pins and needles, numbness, headaches, and lots of pains all over my body. I've had increased sensitivity to smells, tastes, plants, animals, foods, toiletries, and flare ups of sores and blisters in my mouth etc. I've had nightmares, wet beds, nose bleeds, soary soary highs and dippy dippy low mood swings. There was a time when paroxetine stole my tears, and indeed I have lots of eye pain even now. In March 2020 I began to have increased problems with eating, and possibly got acid reflux etc. Now I have the most awful feelings of bloating, indigestion, and pains in both armpits, chest, throat, legs, and in the muscles and bones of my upper body and face. I still have little sense of taste and live in constant pain and discomfort. I was a horrible person to be around. I think it will take a long time to get sorted out. I have worked out a healing process and am making use of the feelings of being broken, lost, hurt, alone etc to create a mosaic of my bits and make beautiful pieces from these fragments. I have taken up creative writing, and make mixed media pieces from found, and discarded, pre-loved, and waste items. I'm working through Paul Gilbert's The compassionate Mind book, Charles Fernyhough's The voices within, and Brene Brown's Atlas of the heart which is taking me through emotions and how to acknowledge, utilise and love all feelings, and be the person I am. I find that withdrawal from Paroxetine has not been recognised or handled well in the health service and that the result has been unhelpful. I would like to turn this experience around and hope to offer ideas about ways that would have helped and how the ways I'm having a go at are ok for me and if they have any usefulness for other people. I have limited laptop skills and feel this is not quite my medium but would like to have another go at contributing to the forum. I hope this will be ok with you. Many thanks, Wheel.
  13. Is duration of taking the drug a factor when it comes to WD difficulty, symptoms and duration ? Hi, I am taking Seroxat since October 2020. Took 10 mg for some period, then went up to 15 mg this September for 2 months, and then started tapering down. I started to take Seroxat because I had terrible insomnia, that lastet a year and it did helped me with my sleeping problem. But I dont feel well. And I developed serious sinus problems up to the point I am sick all the time and I must get off of it. I actually tried to stop Seroxat twice in this period, but I see now I did it to quickly and crushed. I am wondering do I need to follow the same long tapering protocol, since I didnt take the drug for a very long time and I didnt take a very high dose? Is there anyone with similar experience ? I am on 9 mg now. So far so good. I still have sinusitis but I am doing fine. Sleeping good. Thank you
  14. Lizzard

    Seroxat hell

    Hi, I struggle a lot with anxiety, so at some point it was so bad that I’ve decided to take medication for it, I started taking 10mg a day for about 3 months. Then I increased it to 20mg for another 3 months. After I’ve gained almost 10kg and I was feeling uncomfortable, I’ve decided to stop. my doctor told me to take 10 mg for 2 weeks and then stop. I just completed my first week off the medication and I feel terrible. I needed to stop working because the withdrawals are too bad! I feel nauseous all the time, I am sensitive to everything and I could cry 24/7. I feel like I only exist and my body is separated from my mind. I am completely overwhelmed by literally everything. When does it stop and is there any advice ? thank you
  15. Hello! Seeking advice and support having discovered how dependent I am after over 20 yrs of taking paroxetine. Withdrawal symptoms of extreme sustained insomnia, excessive sweating and intense anxiety are making life unbearable and I am horrified at how ignorant I have been about my meds. I now realise GP probably made things worse by suggesting a change to mirtazapine before returning to paroxetine. GP suggested back to 20mg but I couldn't bare the thought of possibly having to repeat the withdrawal so decided on ½ dose (10mg). Not sure if I've done the right thing as still have severe symptoms after 7 days. I now realise all these changes were far too fast but do I hang on to this dose to see if I stabilise and how long do I give it?? I'm just beginning to realise that this is likely to be life changing....not what I'd planned at 58....as may well loose my job and it's a huge strain on family and friends. It's confusing and frightening. See gp on Thurs and feel it would be good to have an idea of what I should be aiming for re medication. He gave me propranolol (a beta blocker) for the anxiety but I've since discovered it could be contributing to the insomnia. Has anyone got any experience of that? With thanks and hoping to be able to share experiences!
  16. I have just joined this site from Paxil Progress. I have been withdrawing from 12 years of Seroxat for over a year now. This last few weeks have been a real struggle. I thought that things were improving but the last 2 or 3 weeks have been awful. I haven't slept properly for ages and it feels like WD again. My body pulsates and irritates me. I keep arguing with my partner. Life has no pleasure any more. In the past I tried HTP, acupuncture. I just have camomile tea now, which doesn't seem to help, and Valerian for sleep which doesn't seem to have kicked in yet. Tried some CBT therapy over the phone but without success. I never thought coming off these things would be as bad as this. I went into it with my eyes shut.
  17. Hello Everybody! In December 2010 (I just turned 21) I started taking Paxil because I was having severe anxiety (Agoraphobia / Emetophobia). After intensive therapy I made a good recovery which allowed me to pick up daily life (the Anxiety is never completely gone, but it no longer has a big impact on my life). I tried to stop twice and twice this failed extremely hard. By then me and my psych/GP thought it was easy and with todays knowledge I can say that the failures were probably due to way to fast withdrawal schedules (first time I halved to 10mg and stopped the week after.. second time I reduced by 2mg each week). Early summer 2016 I was feeling better than ever on every aspect of my life, but in the second half of the summer suddenly I started feeling worse. Fatigued, unmotivated, tingling sensations and a somewhat drugged/absent feeling. Even though I did feel familiar (to Paxil symptoms, which I had a lot the first ~2-3 months when starting Paxil each time) I did not immediately link it to my medication due to no increase in anxiety. However after a thorough checkup (both physically and mentally) without any other possible finding the only remaining hypothesis was the sudden change in how my body responded to the medication. I decided to start tapering of paxil, but this time I would be prepared: I found out about the 5-10% in 3-6 weeks schedules and found a psychiatrist to help me with my tapering. I also switched to liquid Seroxat to make tapering easier. My plan was to start with tapering 10% each 4 weeks and only reduce dosage once I felt mainly stable/good during the last week. The first taper step went good with only minor/innocent side effect. The second step already became a bit heavier especially with the addition of headaches and eye floaters both of which reduced my daily productivity/concentration. However after 5 weeks I felt stable/better and decided to taper again. The first week on my new dosage (14.4mg) went surprisingly well. But after that suddenly everything changed: The anxiety came back in full force. In addition I felt hunted/restless, nauseous, vague/absent (like I'm a spectator in my own life), still had headaches, almost no energy, heart palpitations and sometimes hyperventilating. We are now three months further and I slowly/steadily start feeling better each week but still feel far from stable (more like a house without foundation which could collapse any moment). Besides all I remain positive and hope to feel better in a couple of weeks, but I am uncertain of what to do next: - I could continue tapering Paxil as if nothing happened, but given the insane symptoms I just recovered from I might consider a smaller step of 5%. - An alternative could be, due to the heavy symptoms in a this early stage of tapering to switch to an AD which is famous for being still-horrible-but-slightly-less-horrible-than-parox with regards to tapering and withdrawal symptoms. I found this topic on this site which states this and that Prozac is often used for this. I can not decide what to do.. hopefully this and other topics on this site will help me make this decision..
  18. Hi All, First of all I am so pleased that I found out about this website because in my own country The Netherlands, there is so little information about withdrawal effects of SSRI and SNRIs. It really warms my heart, that there is so much support and sharing of experiences here, I know now I am not alone! I am a female of 32 years and use paroxetine (seroxat) for 11 years now. After an intense 3 months inside a psychology clinic I learned a lot about myself and decided I don't longer need the medication. My journey so far: 9 years 20 mg, 1,5 year 10 mg. Now tapering to get off the Seroxat medication, first tapered from 10 mg to 5 mg in one month without problems. 2 weeks ago I started the tapering from 5 mg and after two weeks around the 2,5 mg I noticed severe withdrawal effects. First I thought I had the flu, but now I know better My Withdrawal symptoms are: Irritability, agitation, dizziness, sensory disturbances ( electric shock sensations in my fingers), emotional lability, insomnia and heavy feeling in my upper legs. Since I became aware this are withdrawal symptoms I stabilized at 2,5 mg by taking an suspension of 2mg/ml and would like some advise how to go on from here. I am considering the 10% Brassmonkey tapering ( decreasing your dose by 2.5% a week for four weeks and then holding an additional two weeks to stabilize). I use Omega 3 oil and magnesium supplements and am now 5 days on the 2,5 mg. Although i notice a decrease in some of the withdrawal effects, it is still pretty severe. The dizziness is better but the other symptoms are still there. Is updosing helpfull? and how far back I have to go? 5 mg gave no withdrawal effects, they started somewhere in the two weeks when I was tapering off between 5 and 2,5 mg. I really hope you can help me. thanks a lot greetings Julia
  19. Hello. Wanted to share my story. I am working in IT industry and in 2016 I had a very stressful work environment. I also did not have any romatic relationships for like 7 years (was 27 I think at this time). I also had severe acne in the past which left severe scars on my face. This resulted to low self esteem and after multiple rejections I stopped trying to date. Due to situation at work, I developed panic attacks and heart arythmia and even collapsed 3 times from it in public. All heart tests were showing nothing wrong and my doctor thought it was caused by stress/anxiety. I was prescribed Seroxat, but don't remeber the dosage. At first I felt great: had uplifted mood, picked up some new hobbies, heart arythmia was also gone. However, my libido was non existant and later I became tired all the time. I was sleeping long hours, but in the morning it felt like I couldn't move or get up and was feeling extremely dizzy. I overslept work meetings many times due to this. This is when I decided to stop antidepressants. I don't remember exactly how I went off it. I think I started taking decreased dosage while skipping some days entirely. I had some severe diziness when going off the drugs. I can't really remember how long I was on the drugs, about a year maybe until 2018 or so. So now its 2020, been off the drugs for 2 years or so. The post withdrawal symptoms that I experience is extreme apathy, no motivation, no drive, extremely disorganized and even more extreme memory problems. I work in software development, so there is constant learning needed. When I read some technical papers I forget everything about a week later. And it actually is for anything, not only IT related subjects. For example I have googled what hakuna matata means about 5 times in the last year and after a week I forget it again. Can't remember it now for example. I watch a lot of movies but forget the plot in a week. One of my hobbies is flying drones which involves some electric skills. I was reading so much about it but after a no flying winter I have forgotten a lot of it already even though I am actually passionate about this. My older memories from childhood which were so clear 5 years ago seems also very distant and lacking details now. Even the software projects that I developed myself and had deep knowledge of the code when actively developing it is gone after several weeks. It seems that I cannot retain information anymore. I phase out during meetings and have trouble keeping large complex systems in my memory. I can only work on a smaller scale, not grasping the whole system at any time.. Sometimes coworkers ask me a question about solution that I developed and my head is completely empty, I need like 20 minutes to sort everything in my head before I can answer initial questions. Due to this, I feel I am not progressing in my career and have to work 3 times more compared to my colleagues due to constantly having to reread material which I forgot. I also have poor organisational skills. I often don't have willpower to finish my taxes on time, to perform administrative tasks at work like planning vacations, organising meetings etc. A week or so ago I actually had a romantic encounter, but couldn't get fully erect or feel anything during the act. Before seroxat I had a very strong sex drive which is now pretty much gone. I also loved video games. But now they bore me after 5 minutes:/ Actually I was playing semi competitively in my teens/university years and I was very good at them. Now any new game I try seems not only boring but overwhelmingly complex with details that do not matter to me. I might actually have undiagnosed ADD or some other autistic spectrum disorder as I had some memory problems, brain fog and poor social skills all my life. But after stopping seroxat it seems that my problems increased tenfold:/ Now my socials skills seem to suffer more from the fact that I simply cannot remember relevant event from the past or even appropriate word and can't contribute much to the conversation. Anyone thinks this could be caused by paroxetine? For me it seems that my brain was left in some incomplete state after the drugs lol.. Any suggestions what I could try to get my life back on track? I will try to read existing posts to find answers, but there is so much information so it will take some time.
  20. Hi everyone, I am new here and I would greatly appreciate your help! I am sorry for my long story (with possible errors) but I just can't find anyone who can answer my questions and I desperately seek recognition and advice. If you do not want to read this long story please scroll to my questions and fears? I'm Renske, 46 years old, and I'm from the Netherlands. I have been taking 20 mg of Seroxat aka Paxil for a very long time (since I was 19) because I was diagnosed with a compulsive disorder. Seroxat worked very well for me for a long time. Mainly because I gradually gained weight (more than 25 kilos), and kept gaining (with no obvious reason, such as eating a lot or something like that) and everything was checked; bloodwork, thyroid etc , I decided a few years ago to try to phase out Seroxat. Because I already knew how difficult that would be, I did it VERY slowly, with a suspension. I was busy with this for a year. Throughout the year I was particularly affected by huge irritations and hostility. It seemed as if I had absolutely no patience and I was constantly angry. I have been very sad about this, because I was particularly unkind and impatient towards my children (8 and 11). Not physically thank God, but extreme irritation and impatience is of course also very bad. This made me feel very guilty. The phasing out eventually failed, the moment I took almost nothing anymore, because I became extremely anxious and because the obsessive thoughts came back. Because I didn't have a back-up plan, after all the effort 😞 I quickly rebuilt to the full dose. It didn't work properly anymore; so i went up to 30 mg. Still didn't work properly. What I found remarkable, though, was that the aggressive / irritated feelings greatly decreased. In consultation with a psychologist and psychiatrist I recently decided to switch to Lexapro (escitapram) although I realize that it is a matter of trying, because many SSRIs work the same (with the risk that it would not work properly again) and that they often have the same side effects (weight gain). I noticed that I had developed some sort of aversion to Seroxat, because it is apparently the most difficult drug to phase out and because it is the biggest culprit among the SSRis when it comes to weight gain. The current situation: week 1: Seroxat (paxil) I went from 30 mg to 20 mg, week 2; 20 mg of Seroxat, week 3; 10 mg Seroxat and 5 mg Escitalopram (lexapro), week 4; stop Seroxat and 10 mg escitalopram. Afterwards; continue with 10 mg escitalopram. I understand that 10 mg of Lexapro (escitalopram) is approximately equal to 20 mg of Seroxat. I am now at the beginning of week 5. During these past weeks I have had the so-called and famous brain zapps, and huge sweat attacks. But the worst thing is that I am AGAIN so terribly irritated and hostile. I recognize this as a withdrawal from Seroxat, I am almost certain that this is not a side effect of building the escitalopram. Ironically, I don't have a lot of trouble with my compulsion, but all the more with my very short temper. Discussed it with the psychiatrist; she indicates that if this is a withdrawal phenomenon, it should be over in a few weeks, according to the pharmacist who makes the product. Of course I said that that is the biggest bullsh*t and that there are so many people who suffer from these symptoms for a longer period of time. She didn't really have an answer for that. She indicated that maybe it was my personality that came back. But that is nonsense; I was always gentle and kind to others. this is also not ordinary irritation due to stress or something, but it really seems like something physical that really engulfs me, just like that She suggested perhaps adding some Seroxat again? The reason why I do not believe in this is because in the past I have phased out the Seroxat very slowly and then I also had such symptoms. Why would that be different now? My questions and fears: Does anyone recognize the symptoms of irritation, impatience and hostility of phasing out the Seroxat / Paxil? How long can this take? Was this passing on? Is there anyone with whom this went away as a new drug started to work properly? I am afraid that this withdrawal phenomenon will continue to exist for a long time due to the withdrawal of Seroxat, while the Lexapro may work, can this coexist? Or is that far-fetched? I know that all anti-depressants must be phased out gradually. Would it make sense to take a little more Seroxat next to the Lexapro, so that I would phase out slower, despite using Lexapro at the same time (within safe margins of course)because the (very) slow reduction has not diminished the feelings of irritation in the past, and I am now inclined to finally stop completely with Seroxat and switch completely to Lexapro. I would be so grateful if I get some responses from people who recognize things. Again, sorry for my long story. Thanks so much in advance. Renske
  21. I have been on Paxil for 20 years. I was originally put on it for reactive depression from getting fibromyalgia . I don't need it now. I am not depressed anymore. My problem is that there is no liquid Seroxat /Paxil available here. I first tried bridging to Prozac. I found that moving from Seroxat to Prozac was too hard. I then tried dissolving it in water but my Seroxat tablets do not suspend or dissolve in water. They sink to the bottom of the glass. Does anyone know a reputable online pharmacy that sells liquid paxil and ships to Israel? There was a suggestion of using "Ora Plus" suspension liquid on this forum to dissolve insoluble tablets. I can easily buy Ora Plus from ebay with international shipping. What puts me off is that all the reviews of that on Amazon involve people using it to suspend tablets they give to their dogs and cats! It also contains some nasty sounding chemicals. The shipping cost is crazy too. But that doesn't worry me as much as the other two reasons. I take the gsk - glaxo smith kline version of Seroxat. I take 3/4 of a tablet - 15mg. It's the same tablet distributed to the whole of the European Union. Has anyone here successfully tapered off that without the liquid Seroxat? If so how did you do it? Anyone know an online pharmacy that sells liquid Paxil that ships to Israel?
  22. Hello everyone, first of all, I wanna thank everyone in this forum for giving me hope and for making me feel less alone. After being AD free for exactly 3 weeks today, I decided to create my own profile so I could tell my story and update you on my journey towards recovery. Let's start with the basics: female, mid-twenties, working and studying at the same time. I've suffered from anxiety and panic issues my whole life, so I guess it wasn't a surprise when I finally developed OCD when I was a teenager (health related obsessions are my the most persisting obsessions, so I guess you could say I suffer from hypochondria as well). Specialists have 'officially' diagnosed me with OCD, anxiety disorder (not specified which one apart from OCD) and, as of late, depression (but we'll get to that in a minute). July 2015 I was prescribed Seroxat 20 mg (Paxil) because I was severely impaired due to my anxiety disorder and OCD. It seemed to work like magic! Life was so much better for a year or so: my obsessions returned to being just thoughts that I could easily ignore, I hung out with friends and family a lot more, I could get outside of my house without feeling panicky, my work life was SO much better, I didn't feel as anxious... I didn't suffer from any major side effects, apart from weight gain. My psychiatrist never warned me that coming off the meds would be so hard. He never mentioned withdrawal, or discontinuation syndrome. I expressed him my concerns about being on the drug for a long time (my common sense told me you aren't supposed to be on this medication for a long period of time). He asked me if I was having any major side effects from taking it, I said no, he said: "then why the hurry? you will be able to come off of it once you're feeling better." *sigh* So I took it for 3 years... I went to him one other time to tell him that, whenever I missed my dose for one day, I'd get really weird head sensations that I'd never experienced before (now I know it's the famous BRAIN ZAPS!), alongside nausea. He said that this was a normal thing that happens when you stop taking the medication, but he said I was probably very sensitive to Seroxat and that's why it happened after only one day of not taking it. Since my symptoms went away once I took my normal dose again, I never thought much of it. So, fast forward to February 2018: I was sick and tired of taking meds. Yes, I wasn't feeling especially bad while being on them, but I just had the feeling that I'd been taking them for long enough and I genuinely thought it wouldn't make a difference on my mental health to stop taking them, since I felt stable (albeit a bit anxious, that's why i thought meds weren't doing anything anymore). I wasn't living in the same country anymore, so seeing my psychiatrist wasn't possible. Now, this is the part where I understand I messed up: I started tapering, but I did it as I pleased, basically. I know now that this was EXTREMELY irresponsible. I wish I had informed myself better, and I also wish my doctor hadn't given me the impression that SSRI's are not difficult to get off. I didn't follow a schedule, I just tried listening to my body: I went from taking 20mg each day, to taking 20 mg one day, 10 mg the next, then 20 mg. the next (I don't know if I'm explaining myself: for example; Monday 20 mg, Tuesday 10 mg, Wed. 20 mg, Thursday, 10 mg... and so on). Once I was done doing it (I did indeed feel a bit more anxious and suffered from brain zaps and nausea for a while, but it went away), I reduced the meds again and took 20 mg. every other day. I followed this last routine for at least 3/4 months and, even though I felt worse, it was still manageable. I suffered from nausea, derealization and brain zaps for a while, but they eventually went away. July 2018 (5/6 months after 'tapering') I decided to take it to the next level: I'd take 10 mg. every day. After 2 weeks of following that routine, I took 10 mg. every other day. Now, that was the point when withdrawal showed its ugly head: derealization, panic attacks, anxiety for no reason, obsessions, brain zaps, nausea and nightmares begun. This was end july-beginning of august. I went back on them (10 mg. a day), and symptoms definitely alleviated. A month later, I tried again - I tried stopping taking them completely at a point in my life where I had a lot of changes coming up (moving countries, change in job, last year of uni, quitting birth control meds...), and that's when hell broke loose. I now feel so bad about it, I wish I had made things differently I don't understand how I could act so irresponsibly. What happened was, I suffered a major OCD relapse, anxiety was present 24/7. I tried going on Seroxat again, 20 mg. for a month, following my psychiatrists orders (I was back in my country, so I contacted him immediately). It didn't seem to work (although my nightmares stopped). This relapse was so bad I started suffering from really bad depression. My psychiatrist told me to be patient. He said Seroxat would start working at some point. After a month of taking Seroxat and seeing no improvement, my new therapist suggested I started treatment with this other psychiatrist. I was so desperate, I went to see him. After hearing my whole story, this new psych. told me that Seroxat wasn't working for me anymore. He prescribed Sertraline/Zoloft (100 mg.). I followed his instructions, and so I went from 20 mg. of Seroxat daily, to 10 mg. daily for a week, then stopping it completely the next. I started Zoloft 50 mg. while tapering off Seroxat. After one week, I went from 50 mg. Zoloft to 100. IT WAS HELL: agitation, panic attacks (yes, even more panic attacks!), vivid dreams (I had never experienced something like that before, EVER), suicidal ideation (sorry)... those were the most prominent symptoms. I waited a month to see if it improved: it never did, even though I tried everything - changing the time I took the meds, taking a lower dose (all of this by doctor's orders). He finally told me that Zoloft wasn't working for me either, and told me to taper off of it (quickly...). He then said to wait for a week without any meds to see how I was feeling. After I week I'd start taking Fluvoxamine / Luvox (yet another med!). This was 4 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago I completely went off the meds, as instructed, and never dared to try fluvoxamine. I've already gone through enough. I feel so upset because no doctor actually thinks this is real. Yes, he told me AD discontinuation happens, and yes, he said Paxil is one of the harder drugs to quit, but he said the discontinuation syndrome would only last for 3 or 4 days! How delusional can they be? I told my doctor about this, expressed him my concerns about still being in withdrawal and he said that I should try going back to Seroxat, 5 mg. I still haven't followed his advice. What do you think I should do? I'm already 3 weeks in recovery from AD... So, how do I feel now? Here's a list of my main symptoms: When I stopped taking Seroxat and I begun taking Sertraline, daily vivid dreams started. My doctor thought it was a side effect of taking Zoloft, but I believe it's a side effect from Seroxat withdrawal, since I already had a taste of them when I tried tapering off of Seroxat a few months prior to this. Also, I did cross taper, so I started taking Sertraline when I was weaning myself off Seroxat. I still suffer from them almost every day. I wake up with an emotional hungover that lasts for hours. I sometimes hear loud sounds that aren't really there while drifting off to sleep or when I wake up. Sounds like bangs, alarm clocks... Doctor says it's stress, I say it's withdrawal. Nocturnal panic attacks / panic in dreams: I wake up with my heart racing and a feeling of impending doom (I take a small dose of a benzodiazepine most nights to help me sleep at least a little. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I had no other choice, believe me.) This had never happened to me before all of this withdrawal process. Fewer hours of sleep. It's not drastic, but I do sleep fewer hours. 6 hours a day more or less. Brain zaps. These were most intense during the first week and a half of quitting Sertraline. I still have them, but they aren't as intense and the frequency has also decreased A LOT (like 70%). Feeling dizzy. This symptom is the one that bothers me the least. It happens rarely and the intensity is low. It started happening to me on week 2. Hyperarousal. This, alongside vivid dreaming, is the worst symptom for me. This manifests itself in the form of agitation, suddenly feeling panicky, feeling the adrenaline inside my body all of a sudden. Increased obsessions. This is basically my OCD coming back, full force. Irritability. I become aggresive for absolutely NO reason! I don't act on those feelings, of course, but I sometimes scream at people or give them a bad attitude because of stupid reasons. I immediately apologize like a minute later, because I know I overreacted. Mood swings - including crying spells, intense feelings of depression and hopelessness. I am experiencing windows and waves at this point, to be honest. I didn't think it was really a thing until I started experiencing it for myself. This gives me hope... What am I doing to help myself? I'm starting meditation. I'm also starting EFT tapping. I'm trying to slowly eat healthier. I'm moving my body for at least 45 min. a day (gentle exercising, such as swimming slowly or walking). I've tried acupuncture... I'm unsure of its efficacy. Thank you so much for reading my story. I'm so grateful for this site. If you have any questions, I'm here for you
  23. After experiencing blood sugar problems that are obviously linked to the Seroxat, I have been tapering my original 20 mg´s dose to 10 mg´s and have been on 10 mg´s for 60 days, Now I have tapered to 10 mg´s every other day and I feel worse on the days when I take the dose. I have been benzo-free for 7 years now, after taking 3 mg´s of Lexotan for 17 years. Tapered it gradually for 6 months (from March 2011 - September 2011) and felt prolonged withdrawal symptoms for up to 3 years after that - off and on. Last Wednesday I started getting severe dizzy spells if I turn my head, bend etc. and now I have to be extra careful about my posture. I am toying with the idea of dissolving the doze and would like to know if some of you have experience of dissolving Seroxat in water. I am fairly optimistic as I know from experience that drug withdrawal can be survived ⏳ WIth regards, Lexotania P.S. I decided to stick to my old nick from Benzobuddies.org as it sounds better than Seroxatia
  24. Hi. I Hope someone can help. I have been on 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months, I started it the end of of September 2017. Stupidly, I went cold turkey for 4 days, didnt like withdrawals (lack of sleep, aches and pains) etc, so I reinstated back to full-dose . After nine days back on 15mg I still had not stabilised. I was improving, but getting dizzy spells, some anger and anxiety. So I reduced my dose to 7.5mg and have been on this dosage for the passed 6 weeks and have been through hellish withdrawals. At present I sleep about 4 or 5 hours and wake with akathisia (anxiety) everyday. This lasts till about 12 midday and then turns to deep depression with some suicidal ideation and general low mood till about 7pm when I start to feel normal again. I did not have this morning anxiety, low mood previous to the drop-in dosage, indeed I have never suffered from anxiety. IS IT TO LATE TO REINSTATE BACK TO 15mg ? as I really can't handle this morning anxiety any more. In summery : 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months cold turkey 4 days reinstatement 15 mg for 9 days reduced dosage 7.5mg for passed 6 weeks. I must also add that prior to being put on Mirtazapine I was on seroxat (Paxil) for 14 years. It pooped out. My gp cross tapered me from one to the other over 4 weeks. So virtually a cold turkey off the seroxat. After six weeks off the Seroxat I crashed so tried to reinstate that but only lasted 10 days my body just couldn't take it. Whilst the last eight months haven't been great on just 15mg of Mirtazapine due to sensitised CNS from seroxat withdrawal, they were a dam site better than the last 6 weeks. In retrospect I think I should have persevered with the original updosage back to 15mg of Mirt for longer than nine days but I panicked as I thought after only 4 days off I should have stabilised after 2 or 3 In short, after 6 weeks on 7.5mg is it to late to reinstate back to 15mg of Mirt and if I do, how long would it take to stabilise ?. Or should I not rock the boat any further and just stay on 7.5 and hope for things to improve, but symptoms are pretty much unbearable at the moment, I am a complete mess . Please help. Any advice would be much appreciated.
  25. I started taking Paroxetine 20mg in 2012. Prescribed by my GP for what was then mild anxiety and low mood. I decided to come off of the paroxetine in Januay 2016. Had enough of being an asexual zombie. The drugs did little for me anyways. Started a slow taper and got down to 10mg once weekly by September 2017. If I didn't dose for longer than a week I would get agitated and angry. 10mg was enough to make me calm for a week or so.... On 24th September 2017 I decided complete withdrawal would be impossible and that maybe I would be better off going back on the paroxetine full-time. I started taking 10mg daily without a doctor's supervision. Five days later I became suicidal for the first time in my life...bearing in mind before this I had always been pretty much emotionally stable. I went to A & E suffering severe agitation/depersonalisation and several other worrying symptoms such as intrusive thoughts about attacking loved ones (something which I would never do or ever think about before). I was given diazepam to get me through the next few days. I vowed never to touch SSRIs again. I have not taken any paroxetine since the crisis on 29th September. The last 2 weeks have been the worst 2 weeks of my life. I went to see a psychiatrist privately - he diagnosed me with bi-polar and prescribed me Seroquel (quetiapine). I am NOT bi-polar, my brain has been destroyed by paroxetine. My daily symptoms are: psychomotor agitation, intrusive thoughts about violence, feeling empty, no emotion at all, electric shock sensations all through my body, panic, crying etc I know the sensible thing would probably be to go on prozac for a while, but after almost throwing myself in front of a bus after just a few days on paroxetine, to me, it's not worth the risk. I just want to ride this out and hopefully get better. I want to be in control of my thoughts and emotions again. At the moment my thoughts and emotions are controlling me. This is not a problem I had before paroxetine. I'm just worried that I'll remain this nervous wreck forever. Can anyone relate to this? Especially the intrusive thoughts, which is what worries me most. Does it get better? Regards, Clearmind
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