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Hello everyone, this is my first post. I want to start by saying that I am very grateful that this site exists, it has helped me and many others a lot to understand more about our subjective experiences with these drugs. I am 27 years old and I think I need help sorting out my sertraline experiences. It all started when I was 19 years old, I had a very bad, intense and emotionally overwhelming quarter life crisis. After a year and a half of being isolated at home, I was involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric ward when I was 20 years old. My treatment with Sertraline began there (see my signature), without informed consent, as usually happens. When I started taking Sertraline I was already very confused and scared, after that period of isolation, so it became even more difficult for me to understand what happened to me. I more or less rebuilt my life for the next few years. I remember that in 2018 I told my psychiatrist when I could stop taking the pills and she told me that I had to take them for the rest of my life (I have had a psychiatric diagnosis of OCD since my involuntary admission). I told her that I wanted to stop because of the side effects or something, she told me to try tappering and give it a try, to see how I was doing without the pills. In the end, after a while, I went back to taking the pills in the same amount as before, 50 mg. Now it's summer 2019, I don't remember much or clearly about that time of my life and those years. I think at some point I started tappering in September or so, but I remember that the last months of 2019, from October to December, I stopped and went back on the pills several times by myself, because I stopped going to my psychiatrist (probably because I didn't trust her and/or felt betrayed after being told I had to take sertraline for the rest of my life, no one told me when I took the pills in February 2017). It was chaotic. I decided not to take them anymore, and I became more emotionally unstable, I think I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms, but I didn't know then, my psychiatrist just told me very briefly about the "rebound effect". April 2020, it's the COVID-19 lockdown, my anxiety is very high and I don't like how I feel, I feel unstable, so I go back to 50mg again. I was already in bad enough shape, mentally and emotionally. I also lived with my parents and they stressed me a lot. I stayed on that dose until the last days of August 2020, when I stopped taking them cold turkey after 4-5 months of taking the pills. Then in September my withdrawal kicked in. But it kicked harder in the following months and June/summer 2021. This time, at the end of 2020, it also coincided with the end and breakup of a very toxic relationship that I had, which ended very badly for me. I lost control of my emotions and got stuck in a fight and flight stress/trauma response. I think in the last few months of 2021 and the first half of 2022 I also experienced very bad withdrawal waves. Back then, withdrawal was not something that was on my mind, I didn't think about it. In Jan or Feb 2021 I also took Sertraline again, I can't remember if 25mg or 50mg, for a one or two weeks, maybe three but I don't think I reached week three. I also think in 2019 that dose of sertraline didn't work anymore because of how I felt, I was probably experiencing withdrawal before I even quit Cold Turkey and/or tapped. For the next 3 years I have been trying to figure out what happened to me and learning about sertraline effects, side and adverse effects and withdrawal. I'm still recovering from all this chaos, it was too much. For the last year I have been trying to stabilize myself, my mind, and calm my body. My mind is still confused and shocked by the experiences I had, especially since September 2020, I have a hard time remembering many things, emotions and feelings that I had. I would like to hear other people's opinions and advice. Thank you for reading.

Hello dear wonderful forum of SA ❤️ My name is Ana (and English is not my first language ) , my story about ADs has been a long one. I have been on and off them for many years ,starting 14 years old (now 32) when I took them for 2-3 days and due to side effects I didn’t take them anymore. Years later after my intrusive thoughts and scary ones emerged, I took ADs for a couple of months and dropped them. And after some years later I took them for a year and dropped them (Circa 2016-2017) I have been on different ones: Escitalopram , Zoloft and others I cannot remember. In 2022 after 4 years of battling my anxiety ( anxiety non stop, headaches, racing thoughts, vomiting, neck, head and terrible body pain at the point that I barely could stand up. Which may have been caused because of me experimenting with my on/off drug use ) I decided to try another psychiatrist. She prescribed me Abilify 10mg explaining that I was resisting the ADs and needed something else(poor me for believing this) I cannot explain how I survived the beginning of taking this drug. I stayed on it for 1.5 year and my anxiety still continued(no improvement whatsoever). Me and my psychiatrist decided to add Zoloft so maybe I could feel better. After a year and a half on Abilify I decided to drop it and went from 10 to 5 and from 5 to 2.5. Then cut it off at the end of November 2023. I had terrible Withdrawal symptoms but also had a little sparkle of determination and hope that I will survive it(this was my 4th attempt). I survived somehow. At the end of December I decided to cut Zoloft from 50 to 25mg (bad mistake, don't do it please) and ended in a terrible situation. Then went back to 50mg in January 2024. I have decided that I should try the 10% method. My question is when should I start ? How should I cut the doses? (in my country no liquid is available). Should I buy a scale and a pill cutter? Please help to start my safe (hopefully) withdrawal. Right now my symptoms are: Fatigue, brain fog, memory problems, allergy like symptoms : watery eyes, overwhelmed easily, anhedonia, depression, anxiety but not at big levels (after cutting off Abilify anxiety has really improved). At the moment I am trying to stay on track with a healthy diet( mostly I cook by myself healthy meals). I try and walk every 2-3 days a week and do 10-15 minutes of stretching/exercises every day. I am trying to add prayers to my daily routine but don't know how to do it ( I believe that a greater force has kept me alive so far and thus I need to create a connection with that) I have a full time job and don't know how I have managed but I still do work these 6 past years have been a nightmare and I don't really know how I have been able to work, I am married and have a 3.5 year old daughter ( she is my light ❤️ and mostly I am doing this because of her because I don't want her to be without a mother and I really do want to come to the other side ). Being a mother during this time of my life has been exhausting to say the least but I still have tried to keep a smile in front of my lovely daughter. My family is very supportive and they really have helped me be alive so far and for this I am really grateful. What has also kept me alive so far is the thought that I was not born like this and I clearly remember how I was such an active person, very alive and creative one. I am crying while writing this and am so sorry we all have to go through this season. Today I join this wonderful forum which I found after so many years of questions and no answers. I found my people ❤️ Note: Today's my father heavenly birthday (68 years) and I am really happy to join in a remarkable day to this remarkable site ❤️

Hello, this is my first post and I’m really looking for some help Here is my story, so for the past three years I have been on 50mg Sertraline/ Zoloft for Panic Attacks, Anxiety and Depression. I decided to come off of them from the beginning of this year and then had a delayed withdrawal symptoms three weeks from my last dose. I then reinstated on the same medication and for 2 weeks and 5 days experiences awful side effects even worse compared to the first time I went on it, the main cause for concern it making me have suicidal thoughts and feelings, which led me to CT with the advice of my doctor. From what I have found is that the medication may have exasperated my discontinuation symptoms. For a month after I experienced discontinuation symtpoms including Acute anxiety and dread Waking up anxious Low mood Depression Feeling extreme weariness (the worst) Nightmares Decreased appetite Mild insomnia - waking up several times throughout the night and early morning wake ups Confusion Brain fog - words and sentences seeming jumbled or muddled Intrusive suicidal thoughts Suicidal feelings Crying spells Mood swings Irritibility Racing thoughts Anhedonia Poor concentration - unable to read or listen to music Mild memory loss Derealisation / Depersonalisation Flu-symptoms Mild vertigo Tingling sensations Smelling things that aren’t there Diarrhoea Lack of labido Light sensitivity Eye floaters 5 weeks later and most of these are gone, I had a streak of 6 days where I felt fantastic, I felt like I could manage my anxiety and depression and I was just left with what I’m usually used to. However, I feel awful again, but I am unsure if this is a “relapse” to what my natural mental state is or if I’m still experiencing mild withdrawal. I noticed yesterday that I kept repeating a words that I was reading from signs I walked past, I have quite bad health anxiety and seeing as this is unrelated to anxiety and more OCD, it’s freaking me out thinking I might be developing it. But, when I read about OCD it doesn’t entirely relate to what I’m like, I’ve always been more anxious and depressed, I don’t perform rituals in my mind or physically. I do have worries about losing control and horrible instrusive thoughts but I always assumed that it suited my anxiety rather than OCD. I have had repetitive words happen to me a few times even while I was on the meds, but to a point that it didn’t concern me, probably a total of 5 days out of the three years. I also remember right at the beginning of my experiences with mental health that I did sometimes count things but could easily stop. But im unable to remember if this is when I started the sertraline or before. Now I’m off of them I’m unsure if this is a diagnosis that has been unnnoticed (as I did go onto AD fairly quickly) or if this is an effect of SSRI meds and the withdrawal? I also had about a 5 day bout when I recently reinstated my meds experiencing a compulsion to touch my nose over and over, however I resisted it to the point that it went quickly and figured that it was my brain confused coming off and on the medication and the effects on my nervous system, and that I had read somewhere that the end of someone’s nose also felt quite strange coming off medication and that it can be anxiety related. I do feel that as a person my anxiety fixates on health problems and then acts them out in hypothetical situations, so I used to worry about schizophrenia so when my anxiety was bad I would imagine voices talking to me, even though I was not psychotic. I think the same thing happens with my current worry of OCD, that my brain is acting it out playing on my worries, rather than the typical sense of OCD using those thoughts to neutralise worries. If that makes sense. Im also beginning to experience Earworms, parts of songs annoyingly repeating in my head. Has as anyone got some incite to how I’m feeling or if they have had similar experiences? Is it because of the medication, the discontinuation, or should I have something to worry about in terms of OCD? And most importantly, can people experience mild symptoms of OCD but mainly have anxiety? I.e can anxiety borrow tendencies from OCD without it being OCD. I feel a lot better without all the nasty discontinuation symptoms, but now I just feel awfully trapped between coming off medication or having to one day maybe reinstate because I’d be unable to deal with what I’m like off of them and this mental discomfort. All the stories on here scare the life out of me, however both options appear terrifying- being off medication and going back on them. I don’t ever want to experience being suicidal again, but I don’t want to be crippled with anxiety and new symptoms that seem scary to manage. So confusing. Hopefully I’ve been as informative and concise as possible. Would love to hear from you all!

Hello to all users of this forum! This is Jan - husband of Dominique and father of a 4.5-month old son. I am currently writing here for my wife, who is lying in bed next to me and is of course aware of this forum and my contribution. My wife gave birth to our son in July. A lack of postpartum and a few other things led to her getting postpartum depression in August with difficulty sleeping through the night (only 3-4 hours a day). At first we couldn't really place it and for a few weeks we suspected other things as the cause. I tried to support her where I could, but the sleep problems (depression) continued. That's why we had a blood test done at the hospital at the beginning of October to check whether the pituitary gland was damaged. According to the test results and the doctor, there was nothing wrong with the gland. However, she informed the psychiatrists at the hospital who asked us to come for an appointment. They told us that my wife suffers from depression and that she urgently needs antidepressants. 50mg Sertraline and 5mg Diazepham at the beginning. There could be side effects at the beginning (which exactly were not said), but these would soon disappear. My wife would soon feel better. One of the health officers told us that she might have suicidal thoughts at the beginning, so it was important to watch her intake very closely. We have always lived a very healthy life and have not taken any medication so far. I consulted a few friends and the unanimous opinion was "Antidepressants are not good, but a short-term crutch. Once the depression / sleep problems are better, stop it again". Already very exhausted by the last few weeks and encouraged by the doctors' and friends' assessment, I did not consult further and persuaded my wife to take the antidepressants. A terrible mistake! Taking the medication over time like this: 13.10.21 - 50mg Sertraline + 2mg Diazepam (doctors suggested 5mg, stop after 7 days). 13.11.21 - 75mg Sertraline (doctors suggested 100mg) 14.11.21 - 50mg Sertraline (reduction because side effects) 15.11.21 - 10mg (decission to stop sertraline) 16.11.21 - 20mg 17.11.21 - 20mg 18.11.21 - no more Sertraline since then The side effects: The first few days went relatively well. My wife was able to sleep a little more (6.5 hours - thanks to Diazepham?). Strong side effects were not noticeable at the beginning. Weaning off the diazepham after a few days was uncomplicated. After we had a conversation with a doctor every 2-3 days at the beginning, the critical initial phase seemed to be over. After some time, my wife noticed slight hair loss and increased bruising. However, she could not pinpoint the cause. A lot of cortisol from the depression could also have been a reason. A head pressure, especially in the morning, was noticeable and slowly became stronger. About 4 weeks later, my wife told me that she was having suicidal thoughts and that I had better lock the front door. I was surprised and shocked. I had the feeling that the anti-depressants had made the anxiety disappear and that there were no more panic attacks. Of course, I was in an absolute alarm mood and took my wife's statement very seriously. I started to inform myself about Sertraline. 2 days later I had another appointment with a psychiatrist and my wife also had to pick up a new pack of Sertraline from her doctor. Both advised to increase the dose to 100mg after one month. However, my wife did not mention her suspected side effects and suicidal thoughts at the appointments. Instead of 100mg, we only increased to 75mg. The side effects after taking it, especially the suicidal thoughts became even more intense. For us, there was now a clear connection between the side effects and Sertraline. Stop Sertraline: Suicidal thoughts as side effects are gross. That's why we wanted the stuff out of my wife's body as soon as possible. A doctor's appointment was imminent. Here I dealt more comprehensively with the subject of antidepressants. A change to another class (tricyclic?), additional drugs to tide her over until she was adjusted to the new antidepressant. In forums I have seen how one gets more and more dependent and how it becomes more and more difficult to stop. We no longer had confidence in the doctors who surprised us with the diagnosis of depression and the immediate prescription of antidepressants (we were there for an examination of the pituitary gland). Doctors who had not informed us about the blatant side effects. In my opinion, they also started us on too high a dose and recommended increasing it to 100mg. Hence the decision to continue without doctors / psychiatrists from now on. My assessment was that the intake period of 31 days at 50mg is relatively short and low. A very short intermediate step (3 days with 20/10mg Sertraline) would hopefully be sufficient. The side effects with suicide thoughts extreme. I thought it would be dangerous to stop for weeks/months. Since 18.11. my wife has stopped taking Sertraline. Current status: The time after stopping Sertraline was / is really intense! I don't feel it myself, but as a husband and father I am with my wife 24 hours / 7 days a week. Look after her and take care of her. Shortly after coming off the suicidal thoughts became very strong. I have locked away dangerous objects from the flat and sleep with my mattress outside her door (so I can also look after our son who sleeps in the next room without waking my wife like that). The suicidal thoughts have decreased now, but I am still extremely mindful. The worst side effect / withdrawal symptom for my wife is the head pressure. This head pressure started insidiously when she started taking Sertraline. However, it still persists and is consistently at a very high level. From 6 - 10 am in the morning this time is extreme. She then takes high doses of vitamin C and I have to stroke and comfort her. But the head pressure is really very extreme. My wife says "head pressure of death", "I'm losing my mind" and says I don't want to go on living like this. Cries, screams and is desperate. From midday onwards, a kind of "switch" seems to be flipped, even though the head pressure is still there. Luckily we can usually go for a walk then and have been to cafes / restaurants. We hope that this really blatant side effect will diminish over time. The sympthoms of depression have now returned. My wife sees a lot of things negatively, thinks of the good times during pregnancy and blames herself. Fear of little sleep and headaches in the morning has returned. There have also been three mild panic attacks since then. These things are ok and we are looking at different ways to get better. With the "anxiety" coming back, other feelings are coming back too, which is nice. After 4 weeks of Sertraline, I have found my wife to be an emotionless robot. There are no other side effects. The bruises on the legs have decreased significantly, the hair loss has decreased. What we do to alleviate the side effects / withdrawal / depression: - Freshly squeezed juices - Only raw vegetables and nuts if possible - Vitamin C in high doses (especially in the morning) - Vitamin B complex (very cautious, as it may increase headaches in the short term) - Vitamin D (very cautious) - Omega 3 (very cautious, as it may aggravate headaches) - Drink a lot (water, lemon juice + Himalayan salt) - Walk every day if possible - Meditation / positive visualisation if possible - Epsom / magnesium bath - Sleep goggles - Daylight lamp (still cautious, as it may increase headaches) - Towards evening, if possible, "normality" (watch travel reports) - NO sugar or bread etc. Our contribution may read simple and not serious. But I can say that the last 5 weeks on Sertraline were really physically and mentally extremely exhausting - first of all for my wife, but also for me. Since the months before were also very exhausting for various reasons and with a baby, we are really at the limit. I am of course aware that most people on this forum have had much longer and more gruelling experiences with antidepressants. I have an inkling of what this may mean and what strong personalities are on this forum, but certainly tragic fates as well. It saddens me that people can be so destroyed by antidepressants in the hope of help. My wife and I would be very happy to receive assessments, perhaps valuable tips and an exchange of experiences with people who also have extreme head pressure due to Sertraline / Zoloft. Jan & Dominique

Hi Everyone, I am just going to jump right into this. I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance. I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal. I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess. I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you.

Hi I am new here, I was on citalopram for 9 years at 40mg and I thought it wasn’t working as well as previous so asked my dr for some cbt to try help but instead he switched me to mirtazapine on a 10 days switch taper(I had no knowledge on tapering at the time). I felt awful for the next 8 weeks so he then switched me back and I had an allergic reaction to the citalopram this time so he switched me to sertraline 100mg which still didn’t help and he then told me to stop with just a 2 week taper. I am now 4 months on nothing and have so many withdrawal/kindling symptoms. *constant heart flutters especially if I get adrenaline rushes or take any different medications or exercise * fast heart rate a lot * GI issues. * off balance, on a boat or drunk feeling * reactive to some foods and drinks *chest pains *brain fog *anxiety and panic *eye floaters and blurry vision *tremors and internal vibrations *weight lose, no appetite And more I just want to know if this is all normal and has anyone else had all the heart symptoms. Fast, fluttering and feeling weird. I get it a lot more if I do anything physical or eat sugary foods.

Hi all, 3 months off Sertraline. Now feeling like my brain is a bit drunk, vision a bit blurry...but now experiencing random involuntary head twitch (for lack of a better term). Is this common. Wondering if I should see a neurologist. Any thoughts?

I took 25 mg Zoloft about 12 years ago for just a few weeks. Decided it wasn’t for me. “Officially” started Zoloft 7 years ago for the first time for post-partum anxiety. I was a mess. Jumping at every little movement of things, miserable and anxious. I actually had an elevated TSH with my first pregnancy so that definitely could have contributed to my anxiety/arousal post partum. Now I have been on and off Z throughout those years to some degree or another for anxiety that is triggered by health-ocd. Feeling good this year during a busy work season, I reduced my 100 mg dose to 75 in October. Didn’t feel any different. Until I started getting low iron symptoms or so I thought (weak and shaky legs, shortness of breath, cheat pain). These were anxiety symptoms that I took for iron deficiency. So instead of getting anxiety under control, I took a BOAT LOAD of iron. I had had iron definitely in the past so I thought I knew what I needed. Also increased my Zoloft back up to 100 in November. But had an anxiety relapse on 100 mg (Dec 2023). Had iron levels tested. They were beyond fine (even highish ferritin). Looking back, it was likely side effects from upping from 75 to 100 that caused the anxiety. So naturally, didn’t feel well, so I increased to 125 and never got better. Started therapy during this time. Went up to 150 after 125 didn’t work. Each increase made me horrifically worse. Boarderline psychosis (this was in February). Started buspar 2.5 mg 3x per day. Thank heavens, I never went up on the buspar. (my GP confused side effects for anxiety) Reduced to 125 for a week the same day I began buspar. Then down to 100 one week after 125. Sat at 100 mg for 4 weeks. Started to feel more stable after 2 weeks at 100. But then became erratic with my buspar dosing (it also likely just starting to “work” which was likely too much medicine with the 100 mg Zoloft). Started getting withdrawal from buspar, but confused it for Sertonin syndrome. Then stopped the Buspar cold turkey approx. 2 weeks ago today (March 22). Had 3+ days of INTENSE withdrawal. Tremors, extreme anxiety, and feeling blank in my head. Had a few “normal days” then was having random bouts of anxiety and bad days, so I thought my Zoloft dose was still too high (stupid). Thankfully only went down to 87.5. Currrently tappered down to 87.5. Most recent taper was from 100 to 87.5 5 days ago. Many of my psychosis-like symptoms went away after coming down from 150. But then the withdrawal hit. Ive been experiencing many severe withdrawal symptoms intermittently throughout dose these past med changes including waves of brain fog, fatigue, exaggerated fears, feeling “flat,” intense anxiety over daily tasks, tremors, twitching and dizziness. Doing the work for my health OCD in therapy. Planning to come off with a slow taper in the next year or two. Tips welcome! I haven’t begun tapering as I just officially this week have been “saved” by SA. I have no idea where to begin even after reading the tapering guide. But I’m off to go read it again.

Hi, I’ve taken zoloft 50mg 14 years non-stop. Later years felt numbed, disinterest, vision problems, inner shakes, burning weird headache etc. First doctor wanted to increase dose but I felt so bad we stopped it. Later on decreased dose with 12,5mg. In few days had symptoms and got advised to go back to 50mg - adverse effect and became worse. Muscle twitching, heart palpitations, aggression, intensive suicide thoughts, burning in head felt like electricity. Went to clinic first time. They said stress. Then another doctor said it could be serotonin syndrome or akathisia. Months went by with severe side effects. Difficult position having side effects from taken zoloft but also from reducing it. Went into clinic to get help to reduce. 25mg cut ”your on observation”. The fifth day I didnt get anything and said - Stop, you cannot do this in five days!!? 50mg to zero 😕. I left. Was told by doctor ”you can't go back now because then you'll get really sick”. Its 10 weeks since cut from 50 to 25. At first felt ”ok” but third week came most of the hard WD. Mostly in bed for weeks: weekness, extreme fatigue, cognitive memory, difficulties to walk, palpitations, buzzing electric sensations with headache, pain in body neck shoulders, blurred weird vision diziness disoriented. Few times also feeling little more presence than zombie-feeling. But it feels like senses are overwhelmed to take in impressions. Been taking Zoloft for so long I don’t know how it is without. Think Im breaking down Zoloft slowly and sensitive but haven’t checked it out. Right now my worst WD is severe headache in different places, pressure in head, eyes down my neck and in general feel week and lost. Some days been unbearable. Brainfog, cognitive (to write this). No energy, electric buzzing head, achy, stiffness, feeling behind and sensitive to noise and light. Tried few walks but body mostly says No. I know it's a too big reduction but was hoping. Had severe side effects and heard that the last 25mg is the hardest, would do it very slowly. Worried that maybe WD will be delayed and could be worse... Is it common for Zoloft (short half-life)? Thinking about long time effects and if I made a to big cut for the system. Also worried how tough 25mg reducing is for my heart, female 50 year. Could it be dangerous? Its 10 weeks since cut, is it even possible to reinstate and how small amount? I dont know…trying to hold on, wait, and just feels good to be here…

First post here - thanks for all the information you've all provided to me before. This is a truly valuable website. Just re-iterating the importance of transitioning from a tablet to a liquid before tapering (well for me anyway). Every time I've tried the home-made liquid taper using a syringe, even extremely slowly, I've had awful withdrawal and had to re-instate. This time however I've followed this protocol first (which took about a month): 3/4 dose of tablet, 1/4 dose of liquid (10 days) 1/2 dose of tablet, 1/2 dose of liquid (10 days) 1/4 dose of tablet, 3/4 dose of liquid (10 days) I'm now stable on 25mg of liquid Sertraline. What's even more unusual is going from 25mg - 50mg was very easy. Anything less than 25mg has been almost impossible until I found this website. The usual story, Dr's have told me to "just stop taking it". One Dr even refused to give me 25mg tablets saying that "50mg was the lowest dose, and that stopping it abruptly wouldn't yield any side effects". I've never been more convinced of a monetary agenda at this point.....but I digress. Other important tools which I feel are worth mentioning are: Gut health (probiotics). Low inflammatory diet (especially limited bread and sugar). No coffee (tea seems to be fine). Magnesium. B Vitamins. Buteyko breathing. Of all the mindfulness/meditation/breathing techniques - this one cuts through all the nonsense and gets the parasympathetic nervous system working almost straight away. Very important for people like us with potential nervous system damage. Good luck to you all, and again, thank you for helping me.

Hello, Please can you provide some advice, I am reluctant to follow advice received off of my GP to lower to 25mg for two weeks then stop upon carrying out a lot of research. I have been looking at the hyperbolic taper and the 10% method, which is more effective and could you recommend an example tapering schedule based on being on sertraline 50mg for 3.5 months and best way to carry it out? Will enquire about liquid solution availability at next appt next week to discuss again, currently only have access to 50mg tablets that can be split in 2 (two 25mg halves if split) Started due to an anxiety episode which was getting no better, now on sertraline have been at pre-anxiety levels for quite some time and looking to taper off as agreed with doc. Also weening off omeprazole 20mg for another week, unsure if this will make a difference. Many Thanks.

Hello, I'm glad I came across this forum because since I started having withdrawals after quitting Zoloft I've been looking for information about people who have been on the drug for more than a few months, all I can find are studies about people who withdrawal after a short trial period. I'll try to keep this as short as possible because I probably don't need to regurgitate my whole life story into this text box here but I'm also procrastinating homework right now so maybe I will do a bit of that... (TW: mention of suicidal ideation) I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can recall. I had severe OCD as a child along with what I was eventually told was generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I silently suffered for years until at 15 I realized I didn't think I could go on living if nothing changed so I told my parents and then one day I was sitting across from a psychiatrist prescribing me my first bottle of Zoloft. At that time for whatever reason, Zoloft was the change I needed and within about 6 months I was living in a way I wouldn't have conceived as possible beforehand because of how free and happy I felt. I had never experienced life without crippling anxiety and the depression that came with it. I thought of Zoloft as magic, I was soo thankful that I was on it. It enabled me to live a pretty normal high school life without having panic attacks in the bathroom every morning and constantly being afraid that my body was racked with parasites (a long term obsession and fear of mine). I never thought I would be able to leave home for college either, and I attributed that success to Zoloft as well. I had been on 150mg comfortably for years and eventually I decided I wanted to come off of them. I made it down to 50mg over time before the pandemic hit. Then at some point my life deteriorated rather quickly. I started have horrible panic attacks again, I sunk into the worst depression of my life, was severely derealized, I could barely eat, and I was utterly terrified because at that time I felt that there was no part of me left that wanted to keep living if I didn't feel better. Thinking that this was all attributed to my medication changes, my doctor increased my dose back to where I was before. Unexpectedly, for me, there was no change. On top of this, I felt the Zoloft was giving me side effects that it had not before, like constant lightheadedness. I kept waiting for the Zoloft to kick in and do its same magic, but it never did. Instead I started going to therapy, changing my lifestyle, mediating, etc. (Very fortunate to have access to these things and a support system). Pulling myself out of that hole was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, and I didn't think I would ever feel better. But over the course of a year, I've felt progressively better and more myself again, all the while I'd been decreasing my Zoloft very slowly and for the last two months I've been at 25mg. I am certainly not anxiety free, but I feel more confident in my ability to cope with it than I ever have. I am also confident that Zoloft does absolutely nothing for me anymore. I had always been told by my old psychiatrist that I would be easily able to come off of it whenever I pleased. Once I was down to 25mg, I thought that was basically nothing so I wouldn't even notice a change when I stopped taking it. So one night I figured I'd been tapering long enough and I stopped taking pills. I knew withdrawal was possible but I figured I'm tough I can handle a couple of days of feeling weird. So here I am now, coming to this realization that Zoloft is not in fact a drug that will just leave your system without having any sort of impact...yeah... I feel incredibly lost and scared right now because I can't decide if I should try to push through a couple weeks because so far the withdrawal hasn't been horrible, but it is uncomfortable. I'm very lightheaded, nauseous, can't stop crying and am having wild mood swings like I've never experienced and its only been a few days. I'm thinking what if I go back on them and all I would have needed to do was go through a few more days? But the thing is there's no way to know how long I'll be feeling like this. And based on what I am reading, for someone who's been on them for so long, my brain may need a while to reboot the systems and make new receptors and figure out how much serotonin to make after years. My main problem is that I'm a college student, I can't afford to stop doing school for however long this takes. I can barely think or comprehend what I read and I'm terrified that my grades are going to start suffering for it. But if I go back on, I'll be disappointed in myself. I feel trapped because I don't even need this medication anymore for its intended purpose, but now I need it to have brain function? I've wanted to be free from it for so long, and I'm coming to the realization that I might not be able to do this right now, in this way. I feel almost betrayed by this drug I used to consider my savior. I feel betrayed by my doctor that told my mom when she asked him if it would make any long term changes to my brain chemistry, he told her "no, it will not." I don't know if I should go back on it and try a longer, smaller taper, or if I should try to push through (which is what people who have never taken antidepressants keep telling me to do of course). I'm also scared now that the longer I'm on it, the more difficult it will be to get off of it in the future. I had no idea that I would have to deal with this, and it seems that there is very limited literature on the subject. At this point I don't know what my next move is, I'm so determined to get off of it, but I also need to be a functional person right now. I don't know if these things are mutually exclusive.

Hi everyone, I’m new here, (22 y/o Male) and I have been reading all your threads on this forum for quite a while and it gives me great hope. I have a story off my own that I would like to share with you. It’s a long read and I would really appreciate your feedback back on it and where I can go from here. My story starts in 2021. To start I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have done since I was 11 years old, I am now 22. In 2021 after 8 years of suffering and sweeping my problems under the rug they finally blew up in my face and I had to deal with them. This included horrific intrusive thoughts, rumination and anxiety all day everyday for about 3 months straight so much to the extent that I had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t do anything. It affected my eating, sleeping and work life and I don’t even like talking about it to be honest. I had heard about ssri’s for many years but never considered them until my back was against the wall and I had no other choice. With much hesitation I started Sertraline in August 2021 (at age 20) and to be fair it did provide a lot of relief. I went from 25mg to 50mg and was on the medication for roughly six months, August 2021 to February 2022. Somehow or other the first time went alright and I successfully cold turkey’d off 50mg in feb 2022 because my prescription ran out. I didn’t have any prolonged withdrawal symptoms or sexual side effects. I also once took 25mg for a day or two in August 2022 but stopped because I didn’t like the spaced out and drowsy side effects. Now this is where I’m getting round to the not so great part. In January 2023 I was resuming my college degree after working for six months. I was anxious being in a new house with new roommates, and was looking for something to help me calm down and settle in. I knew I had left over Sertraline from the year prior. And while giving it some thought I foolishly decided to reinstate by myself and treat them as if they were benzodiazepines. This is where trouble began. I started 25mg again in late January 2023 jumped to 50mg and quit them cold turkey again roughly in around mid April 2023. The reason for doing so is because I was having severe headaches which very well may have been an adverse reaction. I feel very foolish about this because I unintentionally did this to myself when I really, really didn’t need to take the medication. And because I successfully quit cold turkey the first time round I thought I could do it again and was completely unaware of withdrawal symptoms. I was quite wrong, I guess this is what I’m getting to now. I have most the textbook PAWS symptoms I.e. poor to no emotions, anhedonia, lack of motivation/drive. Not to mention the sexual side effects numb genitals,watery semen, no real effect on libido however (thankfully). It’s now roughly 12 months since I last took Sertraline and while I see small windows there’s not much real improvement. I guess what can I do now?. I have heard about reinstating small doses of the drug to alleviate withdrawal symptoms but to be honest I’d rather not touch it with a ten foot pole after what happened. I’m probably outside the reinstating period anyway but I am open to suggestions. So what should I do, I’m no stranger to hard times and I know that this is just another bump in the road and will pass as it has for many others, but it’s starting to drag on a bit. I have often heard that it takes between 12 - 14 months for your dopamine receptors to reset so that gives me hope. I know I am slowly healing as I am getting very small windows but it’s still slow, is there anyone else who was in a similar situation as I am currently?. How long did it take you to recover and is there any feedback you could offer me. Considering that I only took it for 2 - 3 months shouldn’t that mean that I should recover a lot quicker and more linearly?. Can I 100% recover from this, and be even better than before?. Like said I’m hopeful and optimistic and know I will get there. I would just like to know where to go from here. Thank you for reading my story and I look forward to hearing your responses.

I came off 50 mg Sertraline almost from one day to the next. Then threw away Vyvanse from one day to the next. Now, I am trying to come off Seroquel, but I am struggling. Went to the hospital twice in the last couple of weeks because I have a severe lung infection, but the doctors cannot understand why my body won't take in enough oxygen for my oxygen saturation in the blood to be normal. I suggested that it might have to do with the fact that I JUST came off several kinds of meds that had a severe impact on my breathing (I was hyperventilating all day every day), but they just looked at me funny. But it does make sense to me that I am now "hypo ventilating" because my body is out of balance? Am I totally off here? Right now, I wish I could just find a doctor who could let me know whether it is dangerous to "hypo ventilate". I have to sons, and I don't want to die...

Good morning, my name is Franco. I have been avidly reading information from the forum on discontinuing antidepressants for months (specifically, I am also undertaking the enormous challenge of discontinuing and deprescribing a drug with psychotropic action, Sertraline). First of all, my native language is not English, as I am a Spanish speaker. I hope you can understand the imperfections in the composition (I will undoubtedly have help from translation programs, plus some rudimentary knowledge of English grammar). I started taking sertraline in August 2023 (to this day with total regret, although presumably it is a common denominator in the sample of people "treated" with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, and I would not be surprised at all that this feeling of restlessness would also extend to people being treated with drugs from other pharmacotherapeutic configurations). For some time now I have completely removed myself from arguments regarding "diagnosis", since the arbitrariness governing diagnosis in the territory of psychiatry is so vast that talking about it is more ludic-comical than rational. I will limit myself to testifying to my behavior during each of the reductions, and whether they are compatible (or not) with a slow-taper paradigm, by virtue of reducing the intensity of the discontinuation syndrome. I wanted to say thank you to those people willing to read and provide me with advice on the tapering program. Perhaps it is also pertinent to thank all the administrators of this community, who open the door to the formation of an instruction space for those people who have had the misfortune of facing a discontinuation process. My reduction strategy, so far (since I am at 50% of the volume originally prescribed to me) is to divide the tablet into eight units, and remove ⅛ of a unit every 21 days (say, remove ⅛ of a tablet, create a space of stabilization of three weeks, and then proceed to withdraw ⅛ of the tablet again). In this way, I have already removed 4/8 of a tablet in total. Is it a fast or slow rate of reduction? The originally prescribed dose was 50 milligrams of sertraline, so I am currently taking 25 milligrams per day. It is also pertinent to note that I asked about seven psychiatric professionals (seven consultations with different professionals) about a liquid formulation, but presumably they did not consider it necessary, or they were not familiar with a liquid prescription, or there is simply no liquid form for that medication in my country. Will there be any possibility of manually making a liquid formulation of a pharmaceutical product that is sold in tablet form? All the best.

I'm a 45 year old woman from Wisconsin. I'm a happily married mother of 2 small kids, and work as a computer programmer. My psych med history is Prozac: ?mg for 3-4 months, 1995-1996 (age 20-21). At age 20, I was very depressed-seeming, with low motivations and psychomotor retardation. I now believe that this was due to Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. No doctor tested me for that at that time, however -- I was given a Prozac prescription the first time I saw a doctor. I didn't like the sexual side effects and jumped off it C/T. Serzone: 150mg-300mg, 1999-2001 (age 24-26). I chose to withdraw in 2001 once I had been diagnosed with thyroid disease and that was adequately treated. Withdrawal had strong side effects and was a massively difficult withdrawal. I went to a round of neuropsych testing as I was convinced I had a serious disorder. I had brain zaps, but no one at this time would acknowledge antidepressant withdrawal. I was treated as simply mentally ill. Sertraline, 2002 (age 27), several months. I felt like a zombie on it and was not very compliant. Effexor, 37.5 mg instant release, 2003-2009 (age 28-34): I was diagnosed this primarily to fight chronic migraines, but it also alleviated anxiety. Unfortunately, it also greatly shortened my ambition and attention span. During this time of my life I was really just not getting anywhere with my career and life, I accepted mediocre jobs and relationships. This withdrawal was also very difficult and once again I went to neuropsych testing as my family noticed the major brain fog I had upon withdrawal. Nothing unusual was found. Clonazepam, .5 or .25 twice daily. 2010-2011 (age 35-36). The easiest withdrawal possible. I quit as we knew we would be trying to conceive children. 6 years without psychiatric meds, the longest in my life. I was frequently anxious and obsessive. I had anxiety around driving. I often woke up with anxious thoughts. But I was very motivated and driven and made a lot of career growth at this time. At this time, I sometimes used Onnit New Mood to help with anxiety or sleep. Sertraline: April 2017-June 2018 (age 42-43). Gradually tapered over 4 months. Rebound anxiety and brain fog. Went back on April 2018-Present. The side effects of this medication are not as strong as those of the others for me. But I am aware of increasing forgetfulness and lower motivation overall. At the same time as I've been treated for mental health, I've also learned to care for my physical health. With autoimmune thyroid disease, anxiety is very common. I was born with this condition. Since January 2021, I have followed the Autoimmune Protocol (https://www.thepaleomom.com/category/autoimmunity/). This has greatly alleviated a lot of brain fog, physical fatigue, physical pain, and anxiety that I previously experienced. I'm feeling at my best health in a long time. The work of Stuart Shipko and Dr. Breggin on SSRI's have had me second-guessing the wisdom of being on an SSRI long-term. I'm questioning why I ever was put on an SSRI in the first place, yet worry that I may be unable to ever truly leave them behind. I am willing to try. Currently, I'm trying the slow taper of Sertaline by dissolving my 50 mg tablets in water and taking gradually less.

I have been off Sertraline for over four months now, after having been on it for about 3 and half years. Previous 4 years or so I had been on other medications. Is diffcult to comprehend and explain in words all that is going on, but my whole psyche has been completely overturned in these years, and I do not know to what extent the various medications have caused me this. I suffer from the severest OCD,and anxiety, and now I think depression, and sheer terror at all my subsconscious thoughts which have completely taken over my whole mind. I have been imprisoned and castigated in my own mind. It is beyond explanation what is occuring on a millisecond basis. I seem to have entered some moral vortex, whereby I feel as if I am always doing wrong. Constantly confronted with "Heaven and Hell". Constantly feeling compelled to undo things, which for example I have written like here. Damned if I do or if I don't , this doesnt explain 1% of what is going on. It has brought into the fore the reason for everything and existence. I really have no idea what is going on, terrifies me the idea that no-one can have any idea of what is going on in my head. Yet on the other hand everybody is in my head, I don't know who is in my head and who isn't. Everything I say in my head is being judged. I will not go any further for now as I am terrified of writing, and also it may not be entirely pertinent to the subject. Unfortunately it only comforts me to a certain extent to know that others are experiencing their own hell, and I feel guilty in turn for the fact "that others suffering should comfort me', as I have entered some abstract Universe which seems to have its own laws. the ridiculous thing is that in the end what seems "right and wrong" seems to be determined by feeling and not some sort of formula, and I feel guilty in turn for thinking that, and also "convinced" on the one hand that it should be formulated and on the other "know" that it isn't. One of the main reasons for writing this post was the guilt and fear of punishment, or fear of damning others, especially close ones for benefitting from reading others stories and not contributing my own. To clarify alot of this stuf was going on when I was still on the Sertraline, and perhaps, in a different way when I was on other medication, difference now is that I am that so much more fragile.

Hi I'm Moe. I'm a 29 year old male. I work as a neurology RN. I never would have thought that a reaction like this could come on from taking a medication for 4 days but here I am. I have about a year long history of health related anxiety. I had a pain in my throat that would not go away. Everything checked out and it was safe to assume it was anxiety induced, but my mind wouldn't accept that because the pain was still there. I took Lexapro in increasing doses up to 15mg over 6 months. My anxiety stayed and I became tired throughout the day so I stopped it. This was February 2023 to July 2023. February 2024 The anxiety was annoying but under control. It did not effect my daily life. The throat pain persisted. I decided to try another medication to see if it would help with the throat pain. I started Taking Zoloft mid February. I was to be on 50mg. The first day I took it I noticed no difference. The second day, I felt nauseous. I then realized I had forgotten to take half tablets. The third day I started taking 25mg. I became so depersonalized it was nothing like I have ever experienced. Later that night I started having intrusive thoughts that I needed to harm myself. I pushed it out. The fourth day the nausea had become way worse, and I was getting thoughts of harming myself throughout the day. This was not me. I have never had that issue. I decided to stop the medication then and there. The following days everything became much worse. I felt so nauseous I could not eat or drink. I was shaking, I had chills, I had thoughts I needed to die to end this, I could not enjoy anything, I could not focus, I could not work, and I could not sleep. After 2 days I went to the ER. They gave me fluids and Droperidol to help with nausea and calm me down. I had a dystonic reaction and left the ER traumatized after it was resolved. For the next week and a half, I experienced the worst thoughts, nausea, despair, and hopelessness that I have ever endured. I truly thought my life was over. I had family over every day. Without them I have no idea if I could have survived. After a week and a half, this went away. I felt like I was back to my normal self. One night I awoke at 1am to the same chills, despair, panic, hopelessness, sweatiness, sadness, that I remembered from the first week. Since then, I have been dealing with waves of despair and hopelessness, trouble concentrating, nausea and loss of appetite, lack of motivation, general weakness, and anhedonia. It has not been as bad as the first week, but many are the same feelings. I feel overwhelmed by simple tasks of the day at times such as dropping off things at the post office or thinking about what I have to do in the day. It has been 43 days since I took the last dose of Zoloft. I have started therapy, I exercise daily, I am taking fish oil and multivitamin, I keep a journal of my good moments, I make sure to plan my days out, I am meditating multiple times a day, I am reaching out to family, and always looking for new things. The last 3 days in particular have been better than the previous days. I feel more in control. I have had one wave each day 1-2 hours long. I will likely regress and have a really bad day, but you can't dwell on it. Its easy to have a really bad day and think you're regressed. I think I am making progress, but it is certain that this experience and medication has changed my life. I'm here to get better. I want to work this out. I am not losing my inner peace and life due to some medication reaction. I am stronger than that. If you're reading this, you are too. We will break through the waves. Positive outlook is how to beat this. Of that I have no doubt. Don't stop looking for healthy ways to get through the day. Meditation and exercise made all the difference for me. Medication breaks the cycle of "Am I feeling bad" or "when will I feel bad" thoughts. Exercise can give the boost you need. Power through the weakness, you're stronger than you think.

Hi everyone, so glad I found this website. Have been struggling with terrible side effects since starting SSRI medications in August 2020 due to health anxiety following a traumatic miscarriage in June 2020. Been utterly terrified by my symptoms and every time I approached my GP they denied it was side effects from the SSRIs. A brief history: Aug 2020 - started 15mg Mirtazapine, increased to 30mg 2 weeks later. Signed off work shortly after this. Restless Leg Syndrome became unbearable and had to abruptly stop taking it after 6 weeks. RLS eased almost immediately. September 2020- GP switched me to Paroxetine which I took for 3 weeks before RLS worsened again and muscle twitching started in left leg & foot. Told to stop abruptly. Tried 2 weeks of no medication but muscle twitching persisted which fuelled my anxiety more. October 2020- GP told me to start 50mg Sertraline. My muscle twitching became more intense and general feeling of fatigue in muscles, particularly left thigh/knee. Developed complete restlessness, couldn’t stop bouncing my legs and felt like my entire body was crawling. GP told me to continue with medication for another few weeks. After 7 weeks, anxiety higher than ever and twitching/restlessness worsening, GP told me to stop Sertraline - either cold turkey or to take it every other day for a week. I did the latter. Took my last Sertraline 50mg dose on 18th November. December 2020 - paid for a private neurological consultation as I was so worried about the muscle twitching. Examination was normal apart from twitching. Consultant said he thought I was suffering from RLS & PLMD exacerbated by SSRI use. January 2020 - side effects still going strong. Muscle twitching, restlessness, muscle/joint stiffness, tinnitus, tight sensation at sides of neck/throat which make speaking and swallowing harder than normal, panic attacks, insomnia. I have also started feeling what I am assuming is depression as a result of the side effects and constant anxiety. I am currently taking magnesium citrate at night to help with RLS. Neurologist prescribed cocodamol to take on nights my RLS is really bad, so taking these as and when required. Also taking iron and folic acid as recent blood results showed both of these were pretty low. After reading some of the threads on this forum, I started taking high strength fish oil tablets. I am so desperate to feel ‘normal’ again. I have a beautiful daughter who is 2.5 and the light of my life and I am finding it so incredibly hard to navigate my way through this every day without being overcome with fear and panic. Any advice would be greatly welcomed. Thank you.

I had been on some form of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic since high school, 2002 or 2003. Initially I was put on Zoloft for depression which caused me to become "manic" which lead me to be put on Lithium, Abilify and Risperdal (not sure doses or when). Starting around 2008 I was put on Cymbalta and Lamotrigine/Lamictal. I got off the Cymbalta & Lamictal cold turkey on my own in 2011 and it resulted in brain-zaps and then a deep deep depression. I reluctantly got back on my meds. Beginning in 2020 (exact date I'm trying to find), my psychiatrist agreed to help me taper off my meds. I was able to get off the Cymbalta it seems fairly easily, which I have been off since the end of the Summer 2020. After getting off that I began tapering off the Lamictal ... I'm trying to find information on how much I lowered initially, etc., and don't have it right now. I do know I got down to 100mg by November 2020 and had to go back up to 150mg over the winter due to debilitating depression. Starting in ~March 2021 I began tapering again (again don't have exact dates/dosages as of now). I have detailed records of my tapering beginning in May 2021 when I began using the 25mg tabs to taper: 5/18/21 (May 18) - 6/13/21 (June 13): I alternated daily between 87.5 mg one day and 100 mg the next day (87.5mg/100mg/87.5/100) 6/14/21 - 6/21/21: 87.5mg each day 6/22/21 - 7/11/21: 75mg/87.5mg/75/87.5 7/12/21 - 7/26/21: 75mg each day 7/27/21 - 8/8/21: 62.5mg/75mg/62.5/75 8/9/21 - 8/30/21: 62.5mg each day 8/31/21 - 9/12/21: 50mg/62.5mg/50/62.5 9/13/21 - 9/26/21: 50 mg/day 9/27/21 - 10/10/21: 37.5mg/50mg/37.5/50 10/11/21 - 10/24/21: 37.5mg/day 10/25/21 - 11/7/21: 25mg/37.5mg/25/37.5 *On November 1, 2021, my dog and best friend of 10+ years, the Big Guy (110lb. half boxer/half mastiff), died after a brief fight with cancer... in retrospect I should have ceased tapering at this point; instead I continued my tapering in earnest and began to self medicate excessively with alcohol and cannabis 11/8/21 - 11/21/21: 25mg/day 11/22/21 - 12/5/21: 12.5mg/25mg/12.5/25 12/6/21 - 12/20/21: 12.5mg/day 12/21/21 - 12/31/21: 0mg/12.5mg/0/12.5 January 1, 2022 - Present: Off Lamicital Completely I had no idea about this site or a couple days ago. I have been realllllly struggling this whole year but especially the past couple weeks. Some days I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed. Some days I am "functional." I have major brain fog where I can hardly think most of the time (which is not good for my job!). I can't hardly make even the most basic decision. It is bad. I am desperate. I do not know what to do. I really don't want to get back on the Rx. I'm looking for suggestions on how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I have been sober (no alcohol or cannabis) since January 1st as well. I workout, do Wim Hoff breathing, garden, meditate/pray and eat mostly organic. Supplements: EMPowerPlus Lighting Sticks, 5-HTP, Vitamins C, D, B-complex (6&12) & K2, Magnesium Glyinate, Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract; Just started taking St. John's Wort a couple weeks ago I don't really recall withdraw symptoms (depression) prior to my Dog being diagnosed with cancer in September 2021 (which coincides with me getting down to 50mg/day)--since he was diagnosed and then passed Nov. 1st, I have been mostly depressed. The brain fog didn't really start that I recall until ~January of this year when I was totally off -- but I could be wrong. Since November of last year, it has kind of been a blur. On another note, while not directly related to withdrawal, I am very unhappy with my current career and have been for some time. I think doing something that goes against my values and not really knowing what my purpose is has a big impact on me feeling depressed. However, right now with my brain fog and depression, I am having a really hard time doing any work whatsoever. So my purpose now is to get past these withdrawal symptoms so I can find my purpose in this world and what gift I can offer to other people. I am VERY wary of getting back on any RX and do not want to go that route if at all possible. Thank you if you read this far and I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed!! -Will

I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.

Hello, This is my first post on this forum after lurking for a couple years while tapering off of Zoloft, starting at age 20. I thought I had the taper under control for most of that time, but all the changes seem to have caught up with me. I am feeling skeptical that this is going to pass and that I will ever be able to get off of this medication. Anxiety, panic attacks, and physical disorientation and discomfort have kept me effectively homebound for a few months now, with no sign of cessation; it is discomfort far greater than I have ever experienced in my life. My sleep is often interrupted, and sometimes I am awake for up to 40 hours at a time due to physical stress. I cannot walk around my neighbourhood, let alone take the bus, go to the store, or participate in work or school; I can do very little physical activity at home, and have to be extremely cautious with my dietary choices. I am currently taking no supplements, but I am considering trying L-Theanine or Taurine, which I understand to be neuroprotective. Gabapentin seemingly helped me through medication changes in the past before, but I am skeptical of adding a new drug into the mix. My doctor had been helpful with the taper, but suddenly changed her tune after I was finally honest about the problems I was having, and is now of the opinion that I need to be on this drug forever (her words), completely disregarding the fact that many of my symptoms are purely physical and could not be explained by my "original condition" (as she maintains is the case.) Additionally, I have been adamant that going back on medication is not an option; Zoloft caused me to uncontrollably engage in extremely self-destructive and reckless behaviour (drinking by myself until passing out, sleeping with strangers using no protection, reckless driving); prior to taking medication, I was a quiet, introverted guy who liked gaming and fantasy literature, and had neither taken a sip of alcohol nor intended to. I also believe it is responsible for a sudden complete and unprecedented shift in sexuality (from heterosexuality to homosexuality) and strong gender dysphoria. I do not know which mechanism of the drug could have caused this, but there is no other suitable explanation, as these acquired traits have both completely subsided, directly synchronous with my taper. When I told my doctor that the medication had these effects on me, she prescribed me Seroquel (which I am, of course, not taking); despite my calm demeanour over the phone, she clearly thinks that I am delusional. I certainly learned my lesson through this, and will no longer say any more than is necessary to avoid seeming belligerent. Out of all the people in my life, only my mother and my girlfriend believe me that Zoloft caused me to have this dramatic personality shift that endangered my life, and they are both very supportive of me in general. My father, who is currently financially supporting me, albeit reluctantly, is of the same mind as my doctor; he believes that I have a genetic defect and must be medicated permanently. Overall, however, he has been surprisingly tolerant, and I have a safe place to live where my needs are being taken care of. I have undergone thorough medical examination, and have been determined to be in good physical health, aside from a recent POTS diagnosis that I believe is a result of my taper and is causing many of my symptoms. To sum everything up: I am trapped in a world of discomfort, and have no idea what my next steps should be. Any help at all is appreciated. I am only a young guy, and the future is not looking bright right now. I am really scared that I have damaged my body and brain beyond repair both by taking the medication for so long at such a high dose and in tapering improperly. Having said that, I am feeling much more like myself, and I know that I am on the right track. P.S. I apologize if any part of my post violates content guidelines. I was aiming for as much clarity as possible but any offending parts can certainly be removed.

Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation

My introduction post for the forum.. short story I have been prescribed SSRIs since I was about 18/20 and now they are no longer helping me. The long story. I started on my antidepressant journey when I was around 18 or 20 years old (now 29), but I never recorded what brands I tried or the exact date of starting antidepressants. I sought out antidepressants as a way of dealing with depression and anxiety which emerged about a year or two prior. I attended counselling. Unsuccessful. This led me to the Dr and going on a mental health care plan to get bulk billed psychology and subsequently started taking SSRIs. I believe I tried Fluoxetine and the side effects scared me so much I needed to switch to something else. I ended up on Paroxetine as that gave less severe side effects. So going forward, Paroxetine was doing a good job of getting me 'functioning' as an adult. I got my first job at 20 years old, was getting over social anxiety and I generally started progressing enough to come out as Transgender and be treated for that as well. Unfortunately though some side effects of paroxetine never subsided, and as time went on I felt myself being affected by SADs every winter. This was combated with increased dosage of paroxetine. Since I am such a small human being, I didn't tolerate the increases well and it lead me to sleeping over 12-13 hours a day. I could barely wake up without falling back to sleep and was diagnosed with OSA. This is the paradox of Antidepressants. I ended up successfully reducing my dosages every spring and somehow I still managed to go to work, be a normie, save money.. Did the things I wanted to do. Then after around 8 or so years on Paroxetine, it finally pooped out. I had gone through some big life shifts not limited to moving house, having a sibling leave for overseas, and finishing up a uni degree after three years of somewhat stable routine (as much as you could get with covid). So I succumbed to a relapse in depression and since that time in 2021, my life has not been the same. Due to said intolerance of dosage increases, my doctor switched me to escitalopram. For about a month it improved my mood but then stopped working. Dosage increase. Same mood improvement then failure. New drug time! Venlafaxine. Oh boy! An SNRI! Started on a small dose then worked up to a bigger dose. Same thing.. Mood improved for a bit then dropped off and these stupid drugs aren't helping me! I was then referred to a psychiatrist. Convinced I have some sort of ADHD, because why else am I having all these problems and can't focus on a life path for myself? He said that he didn't believe I was ADHD.. That I am just affected by my anxiety which impacts decision making. He suggested back onto SSRIs since Paroxetine worked so well for me. So that lead to Sertraline.. The dreaded Zoloft. So right now, having been through the normal 'mood is good for a while' stage, time to go back into the familiar low mood phase. Okay. Dose increase. On to 75mg every other day. So now I am experiencing the wonderful side effects which I had forgotten about SSRIs while I was on Venlafaxine. They are: Stomach/gastroesophageal pain (is that an ulcer or GORD? No! It's just antidepressants!) Brain fog and being spaced out ie. Feeling like I'm one drink in without having consumed alcohol Diplopia Trouble waking up in the morning and/or waking up but feeling tired through the day Emotional blunting and anhedonia Mood swings Increased tinnitus No appetite at all And this is a new one: EXTREME ITCHINESS! (no it is not the dreaded drug rash, it is hives.. Wonderful itchy hives) So now with all this bullsh*t I have been through, I just really want a break from these meds. My life has scarcely moved on from where I was in 2021 when I relapsed. I am sick of the side effects and I'm sick of being on these bloody drugs. Obviously something deeper has affected me because I am no longer having success on antidepressants and the side effects are not encouraging me to stay on them. Well done if you read to the end! I have no reward for you. Or maybe the reward was the story we read along the way?

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.