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Hi all, First off, I'd like to say how much I appreciate this forum -- reading everyone's posts had made me feel a little less alone in dealing with this mess. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you. I am currently experiencing what I now have deduced is protracted withdrawal syndrome from Lamictal, and I am at my wits' end trying to figure out how to solve this. The emotional and mental pain is unbearable; I am terrified I'll never recover, as I'm sure you can all understand. I have no idea what steps to take next, so I thought I would turn to this community for help. My story (apologies for the wall of text!): I started taking Lamictal in 2015 and quickly got up to 150 mg. I experienced few side effects, and I took it for years without issue. In February of this year, I started having problems with recalling words and expressions (aphasia); I also tended to lose track of my thoughts and in general had a hard time communicating. At the time I thought these symptoms were due to the Lamictal, since I know they are listed as possible side effects. However, in retrospect they must have been due to the Klonopin that I was taking for anxiety. I didn't connect the two together, though, since I was only taking the Klonopin as needed (maybe 3 times per week), and only ever a quarter of a 0.25 mg pill at a time (smallest possible dose). In March, I decided to stop taking birth control pills, since the hormones were turning my curly hair straight. I decided to taper off of the Lamictal in early April. I went down 25 mg every 3 weeks. In May I realized that the aphasia and other symptoms were most likely caused by the Klonopin, so I stopped taking it. As I went through the Lamictal tapering process, my anxiety skyrocketed -- I was waking up in a cold sweat every morning, experiencing multiple panic attacks every day, etc. I never realized this was a withdrawal symptom and just assumed it was due to either a) general stress from work/life or b) mood swings from my hormone changes from stopping the birth control. On top of that, once I got down to 50 mg in July, I started noticing some brain fog and issues with my memory and concentration. I assumed theses were side effect of Lamictal, and it only reinforced my desire to completely go off. I (stupidly) decided to just spend 2 weeks at 50 mg, 1 week at 25 mg, and then go completely off. I got down to 0 mg in mid-July. At that point, I knew I had made a grave mistake -- the brain fog was debilitating; I couldn't think straight, and my previously fantastic memory was reduced to that of a gold fish. I was also struggling to deal with the anxiety, which was at an all-time high. I decided to go back up to 25 mg after only 3 days of being off. Going back up did not help, but I was too scared to make additional changes. In mid-August, approximately a month after reinstating, I had some champagne with a friend. The next day, I noticed that the anxiety was gone, but that other symptoms had taken its place: tinnitus, photophobia (light sensitivity), and palinopsia (persistent afterimages). I freaked out, and that night I decided to increase the Lamictal to 50 mg. A few days after increasing to 50 mg, I noticed more symptoms: depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR) and TMJ. In early September, after waiting 2 weeks, I decided to go back down to 37.5 mg in hopes of reducing these symptoms. The TMJ improved but the DP/DR did not. I've now been on 37.5 mg of Lamictal for the past 6 weeks, and none of the symptoms have eased up. I currently experience the following on a daily basis: aphasia and difficulties expressing myself (never improved after going off the Klonopin), , difficulties with executive functioning (making decisions, organizing, planning, taking in information, etc.), general confusion/disorientation, DP/DR, tinnitus, photophobia, palinopsia, insomnia, and severe depression / suicidal ideations. I'm at a loss for how to proceed -- should I try increasing the Lamictal again, assuming my issues are from withdrawing too quickly? Decrease it, assuming they're from reinstating? Wait some more at this current dose? Try something else? I've seen multiple psychiatrists and neurologists to help me figure this out; one suggested Cymbalta to address the depression and brain fog (apparently at higher dose it has positive cognitive effects), and another suggested Galantamine to help with the deficits in executive functioning. My fear is that these medications will exacerbate all of my other symptoms. What do you all think? Thank you so much for reading my post and for helping me through this. Emma

Hi I’m Steve, I recently completed a taper from 40mg of Vybriid down to zero. The taper was simple decrease of 10mg per week until I was off the drug. I didn’t realize it would have been safer to reduce the dosage at 10% per month. I actually feel better off of the medication except for muscle tension in my upper and mid back area and occasional burning sensations (feels like a sunburn) on the back of my shoulders and neck sometimes. The worst so far is when the muscles tighten up it feels like there is a knot in the middle of my back or spine. It is not severe but it is disconcerting. I did make the mistake of trying to come off of Vybriid cold turkey three years ago and subsequently suffered some sort of manic episode (I don’t really know exactly what it was) and was labeled bipolar, immediately told by my psychiatrist I would be on medications for the rest of my life and placed on a mood stabilizer, Trileptal. Initially, the mood stabilizer calmed everything down and i really I was bipolar. However after the three worst years of my life and a ton of reading about misdiagnosis (labeling), and overprescribing which included a 9 night stay in a psychiatric hospital, I decided that I would taper myself off of all of my medications, one at a time (Sorry for the long run on sentence). I started by withdrawing from Vybriid maybe mid-August to mid-September. I stopped Topamax cold turkey on a Monday a couple of weeks ago after my psychiatrist didn’t return my phone call. I have a new psychiatrist who will help wean me off of these awful drugs. I will be making all the decisions with his guidance, not the other way around. I am now keep daily records of my medications and what I am feeling throughout the day. 10 days ago I began to taper from trileptal 1500mg down to 1200mg. I am in a holding pattern until at least October 26, which is the next time I have met my psychiatrist. I am very concerned that the muscle tension I am feeling is from withdrawing from the Vybriid. I also know now that I can’t taper at the rates I have been. My nervous system can’t handle it. After completing the Trileptal withdrawal, which may take many months, I have the pleasure of going through the hell of a benzo withdrawal, which is 1.5mg if klonopin. I know now that becoming psych drug free is going to be long, slow, and safe process that may take 18-24 months to complete. It may take 5 years to complete. I really don’t know. I do know I want off of these awful poisons. I want to come off of them as slowly, safely and pain free as possible. I want to survive all this and be able to support others who are doing the same. How long will it take for the muscle tension to go away? Has anyone had these similar symptoms? Thanks for taking time to read all of this! I looking forward to being an active member in this community and I hope I can be of support to others who are dealing with something we never asked for. Steve

About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. I started seeing a physiatrist that put me on the combination of Straterra and Vyvance for ADHD, Trileptal and Trintellix for depression/mood stabilizer and Prozac for OCD. I have been on this mix of medication for more then 5 years. I think I am not ready to start weening myself off this medication, because I am in a very good place mentally. The last time I tried to stop Prozac I went from 50 mg to 0 over 5 weeks, but I think that it was way too fast and I had to go back to my previous doze. Looking back, I should have questioned all this medication when my doctors was prescribing it, but now I feel stuck and not sure where to begin. Hoping someone here has some suggestions.

I don't know......I am practice posting. At present I am about 5 days off Adderal, 2.5 mg. It feels alot like when I finally came off Lexapro......I was down to 3 mg. and they took me off of it completely in October while I was in the hospital........meanwhile started up on the Adderal and still am on Trileptal 150mg. x2/day. Anyway mostly upper back achiness now.......total demotivation as anything is stressful and am just working for staying calm, fluids, eating, sleep. A conversation by phone once in awhile. Pay the bills. Accept help when I can. So maybe I am somewhat on topic. Not sure I could list all the meds. that I have withdrawn from yet........someday soon. I just wanted to be around people that get it..........and find the hope and strength again. You know.......I believe in God(although a God that accepts my anger sometimes), but even more so in a universal strength to be found in others. Anyway.......thankful for my journey in a way.......especially in those windows I get of clarity and calm.

So let me get into this..always had anxiety and depression my whole life.. I spent year sick to my stomach then started to get though it.. the 2013 hit.. a dentist ruined my life.. I ended up with nerve damage in my face.. trigeminal neuropathy.. is was put on lexipro 10 mgs.. and trileptal and anticonvulsant.things started to settle down and I had a pretty happy 4 yrs.. i started smoking cannabis and the combo keep my pain down but at the time I didn’t know it.. i weaned off the trileptal cause it made me sick as hell and things were ok compared to the hell I went through for 2 yrs.. but I still suffered for anxiety but I just wasn’t in pain.. so.. fast forward 4 yrs.. I thought hey I just want to come off my antidepressant.. my dr at the time said.. your on a low dose.. just cut the pill in half for 3 days then stop.. I continued to smoke cannabis and got thru the brain zaps then started feeling good after about 2 months.. the I started getting pain on my left side and thought it was a tooth.. then the pain or maybe parasethsia exploded over the whole front on my face..had a root canal and that didn’t help. smoking pot started causing anxiety so my dr put me back on lexipro thinking that would help. And started gabapentine for nerve pain.. that helped for 7 months..then put me on Ativan because I wasn’t sleeping and I started smoking cannabis again.. so I thought the pain was caused by my root canals.. got those pulled.. slowly weaned off my lexipro but would be terrible parastesia across my face at night.. long story shorter . When I went off the cannabis and lexipro I would shake at night. I tapered myself to fast.. I have burning in my jaw and face and am having a hard time.. I’m on a low dose of trileptal 75 mg twice a day and it allows me to sleep a few hours.. I’m in a rough spot.. I have nerve damage in my face that is typically treated with antidepressant and anticonvulsants but I have done a great deal of investigation and these drugs are bad.. the research is there.. I think my brain has been harmed by them and by my poor decision making as well.. When I’m off the drugs I have my mind clear and I like that.. it hasn’t been clear for a long time.. I didn’t take my trileptal yesterday and I felt alive but had more pain.. could the emergence of my pain in my face be a result of the medication.. do I trust the people at Johns Hopkins.. I have much doubt and I fear for my life.. I have made too many mistakes on my own... insight would be very useful.. thank you.. in hindsight being as sensitive as I am I wish I had never touched a drug in my life and taken care of the mind god blessed me with.. I think I really screwed up.. I see a therapist mon..

Original topic title before reducing the length of it: I cold turkey’d too many things, the worst being Celexa, due to misdiagnosis and emotional blunting. I’m struggling. Let me preface this by saying I have had unstable mental health as far back as I can remember. I was an anxious and depressed child. I used to SH as a teenager and was put on Paxil, but I hated it and quit after a couple months. I did not use medication for any mental health reasons for at least 10 years after that. I have been told I’m bipolar by people close to me, and I think doctors eat that up and once you’re branded bipolar, that’s your identity. But that’s neither here nor there; the main takeaway from that is I was put on several different medications and hated the way I felt on all of them. My first return to psych meds was in the summer of 2015 with a diagnosis of GAD which turned into GAD and bipolar 2. I was put on Celexa 20mg. It was pretty good for a while. I was then put on Lamictal 150mg and took both, but the Lamictal made me feel like a zombie so I didn’t take that long. I kept up with the Celexa. After my gastric bypass surgery, the Celexa didn’t work as well. I was then bumped to 40mg and that’s where I stayed. I was starting to feel severely depressed, emotionally numb, and had anxiety creep back in so I was put on Wellbutrin 300mg and buspar 15mg on top of the Celexa. I took this combo for maybe a year but I was horribly noncompliant for the most part and it never really did much for me. I CT’d the buspar and Wellbutrin. I was to a point (and still am) where laughing felt like a chore. Crying is almost non existent unless it is a major sad event (death). Interest in things and smiling are difficult to come by. The only emotion I felt was rage. I was either apathetic or enraged. That’s when I was given the ultimatum to treat my bipolar disorder, as I was often verbally abusive to my SO and would have meltdowns. Jesus this is embarrassing. I finally gave in and started seeing a psych through telehealth. Big mistake, told them about my previous dx. That was enough to not even evaluate me, and I was started on some antipsychotics in addition to the Celexa. This was the beginning of a long spiral of multiple medications that ended with Latuda that made me so depressed I cried constantly. There was no tapering involved really, maybe just a two week period of dropping while introducing something else. I went through Abilify, Trileptal, Latuda, Abilify again, and Lamictal. My brain felt so fried at this point I said I’m done, and stopped taking everything except my Celexa. After stopping all of these meds I was so far depressed and anhedonic I decided I was done taking everything and needed a brain reset. I ended up taking 10mg Celexa a few weeks and then dropped to nothing after 6.5 years. After reading this forum, I realized this was probably one of my big mistakes. Now not only did I have severe mood disturbances, I felt physically sick. The physical symptoms went away after a few weeks. The last time I took Celexa was at the end of February this year. Now I am dealing with a whole host of other issues. It turns out I’m not bipolar, I have ADHD. Again, not knowing any better that I shouldn’t take anything that alters my brain, I’ve been on stimulants and back to Wellbutrin. NOTHING is helping. The anhedonia and apathy are killing me. I feel no emotion towards anyone. I am not interested in anything. Every moment is painful. ADHD meds are doing nothing for me. I guess I am looking for support. Advice. Anything. Something that tells me my brain damage isn’t permanent. Something that tells me I will feel emotions again, that I won’t think my favorite past times are a waste of time, that I will feel love towards my SO and family again. I felt emotional blunting with Celexa, but nothing like this. I don’t know what to do, and my doctor is useless when it comes to this.

Was on Prozac for 3 weeks due to irritability, and generalized anxiety. I stopped cold turkey and have been experiencing symptoms that came on gradually since the last dose. I’m still having them 4 weeks later. In waves. Insomnia, derealization, brain fog, depression, dry mouth, random drooling, forgetfulness, sluggish, chills, intense anxiety and fear, brain zaps, head tingly/hot, headaches, sweats, fatigue, hyperarousal, impending doom, sensitive to light/sound, akathisia, restlessness, diarrhea, upset stomach, no appetite, weight loss, dry heaves, intrusive thoughts, jerking awake at night in fear. Lots… 🥺 is anyone else going through a similar situation and does this get better? I never felt like this before taking this antidepressant.

So far it's been a month since I came off of my antipsycotic, I was only taking a .5mg which is a very low dosage but I have been on these 2 prescriptions for 4 years . I was taking 1/2 of a 300 mg tablet of a mood stabilizer. I came off the mood stabilizer 4 days ago . Even though my dosages were very small i have still been experiencing withdrawals from being off. When I came off the antipsycotics I experience anxiety, worry , stress that just came without even thinking on anything stressful, light nausea, light diarrhea, light muscle aches, light flu like symptom such as congestion and sneezing, I also experienced an extreme seizure one time only and it happened at night before bed, I faced a lot of moments when my mind became zoned out, and for this I limited my driving, I experienced a lot of twitches and tremors also and fatigue , only one time i can rememver when my fatigue was so bad it felt like i had been run over by a bus .I would have symptoms during the day but not like I would at night. Most of my symptoms always happened at night. At night I would feel restless tossing and turning all night. The reason why I decided to come off of my prescription meds is because In August of 2020 I started experiencing psuedoinsomnia. Psuedoinsomnia is a type of wakeful sleeping, you're body goes to sleep but your mind is still awake, and the moment you get up in the morning you don't feel sleepy or fatigued at all , your brain just never shuts down. I also came off the meds because I realized that I lost my urges for sleep , not only was I having psuedoinsomnia but I never had the urge to go to sleep neither did I ever feel tired or anything during the day I never felt calm , when I closed my eyes during the day or night to meditate and deep breathe I never felt myself go into a calm state it's like my mind was up all day and night and it made me feel a little crazy that I couldn't even feel calmness , I tried calming tincture that I had been using for years before having these issues and couldn't feel the effect of calmness at all. whenever I laid down to get rest it was around the same time every night. Even though I didn't get the urge for bedtime I knew when it was time to rest and I would just get in bed and keep my eyes closed all night even though I was awake and could hear everything that was going on around me. Since I have come off the antipsycotics my urges for sleep have returned unto me but for some reason my mind will not shut down and go into deep sleep like it was created to do . 4 days ago when I came off the mood stabilizer I noticed my ability to enter a calm state of mind and body return within just even a day of coming off of it also when I take my calming herbal tincture sometime I can feel it take affect on my mind. I also noticed myself go to sleep 2-3 times . I went to sleep but I could tell that it's still not a normal satisfactory type of sleep .. I didn't even know I was sleep and didn't feel refreshed yet i didn't feel fatigued either and it sure didnt make me feel crazy knowing i my mind was up all night. I'll give it more time, it's only been 4 days but definitely some improvements. I also noticed that the moment I came off the stabilizer that I no longer had suicidal thought or wanted to die. At night my body feels like it's screaming for these drugs , and once you come off you can definitely feel it. You get so used to that calm feeling that you begin to crave for it again . But right now always at night my body has a burning sensation , aches in my hands and extremities, sometimes I don't even try to sleep I just sit in bed and rock back and forth rubbing arms and legs like im an addict . Also since coming off these meds I can feel like a chemical coming out of my eyes and nose from time to time when I breath and I'm always rubbing my eyes and squinching them . This morning I had some mood swings , I was just angry for no reason , but I know it's because I'm no longer taking the mood stabilizer. The doctor put me on these meds for anxiety. There was a thought that got stuck in my head and it scared the living day lights out of me I went around for months with this thought playing in my head like a tape recorder non stop stressing me out leaving me in a tremendous amount of fear. I thought I was gonna lose my soul. But I am no longer scared of this thought anymore because it's not real. This is another reason why I wanted to taper off my meds is because I began to feel very good and like I could breathe and be myself once my doctor lowered my dosage, I want to feel normal and regulate things the way I should and it didn't feel like ibcould do that on those meds , my mind was always blank, no good thought or bad thoughts going through my mind just straight blank all the time, and that affected my social life and made me very less expressive like a zombie.

Hi all! I am a 22 year old female diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. I was heavily drugged at around the age of 14, and I decided to come off of many of my meds in the past year. Unfortunately, I do not have the history of meds/dosages for the past two years but may be able to obtain info from my doctor... Drugs Withdrew from: 1. Trileptal 2. Gabapentin 3. Horizant (form of gabapentin) I was put on Trileptal (I believe 900mg) for Bipolar Disorder around the end of summer of 2017 I decided to come off the drug after about 5 months. I went off quickly, but did not stop cold turkey. Started experiencing tingling in my legs (against clothing or fabric) Started developing a noise sensitivity during this time. Went on Gabapentin (I believe 900mg) in November/December for one month and a half, and had side effects. Came off with my doctor Experienced side effects including insomnia, anxiety, tingling back, chills, temperature changes, heart palpitations, panic attacks, noise sensitivity Went on Horizant for 3 days had side effects, stopped for a day, took it again once, and stopped permanently after 4th day. Had brain zaps for a few weeks with tinnitus Since stopping ALL 3 meds, I now have chronic side effects Tingling (against clothes) Legs (***) front and back of thighs. Intermittent throughout day. Very unbearable.. In both arms (sometimes part of arm sometimes full arm) --less frequent but happens more than back/ribs Back (less frequent) Ribs (less frequent) Tingling happens for a few seconds with back arms and ribs. Noise sensitivity (hyperacusis) Touch sensitivity Head pressure (started after brain zaps from Horizant subsided.) Basically CONSTANT throughout the day. ***** I believe that all of my symptoms are from withdrawal from medications. The chronic pain/tingling against clothing or fabric is the most excruciating. I wonder if anyone knows if this will go away or if it is permanent damage?? Is anyone familiar with my situation? It has been about 2 months since I tried Horizant in February of 2018. It is April 2018 now I don't want to put any more drugs in my body, especially not knowing if it will go away on it's own. I am a college student who is now going to drop out, even though I was doing great in school. All advise/ info helps!! Thank you!!

I've spent the last 13 years on various ant-depressants, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, and benzodiazapines. I was most recently on 80mg of Latuda and 900mg of Trileptal when the doctor who diagnosed me when i was 14 called to tell me she was wrong. She told me that I didn't need the drugs, and never had. My mom died from side effects of psychotropics and I had already pretty much figured out that the drugs weren't the answer for me. From February to June of this year I titrated myself off of them. I didn't trust psychiatrists to help me and I couldn't find one when I looked who would help. During this time, I finished graduate school taking a double load, started a new job as a consultant for the government where I protect children from bad medical advice, applied for a very high position and interviewed, moved in with my boyfriend full time, and he switched jobs, too. I let go of almost all of my friends during this process. When I came to, I realized that they were all really fake or bad people or just plain weirdos. I have three friends in town that I don't get to see very often, one very good long distance friend, and then my best friend/partner. A few of my family members have been really supportive and that has been really great. I take fish oil and that seems to make a big difference with the withdrawal symptoms. I was doing really great and felt like I was becoming normal again after these 13 years, but then I started having my period again. I stopped having my period on the drugs about 10 years ago. It has been so hard. I feel so weak like I am going to pass out. On top of that, I ended up not getting the big job I applied for. In addition to that, I am a social worker in the mental health/medical field and the secret motivations of others that I'm finally aware enough to pick up on feel so frighteningly devious. The most recent developments with "coming to" as I call it has been finding out that my sister was on and off verbally and emotionally abusive to me when I was on the drugs. I was easily manipulated on them because I couldn't remember things very well or keep my mind coherent. I think she would yell at me, but to be honest I can't really remember what the fights were like. I just remember afterwards feeling a rush when we would make up. She doesn't like me very much anymore the way I am now. She says we fight a lot now. The only difference is that I can remember when we fight and I don't instantly forgive her or give in to her adult tantrums. We grew up basically without parents, so she parented me. She always seemed like a wonderful mother/protector that was my best friend. It has been such a shock to realize who she really is. She was a huge support for me, but now that I understand how she treats me, i can't reach out to her anymore. There was a period of almost two years when I got into an abusive relationship. This was three years ago. I look back on that time and I can't really believe it was real. I know that I tolerated the way he treated me (the yelling, the not working, the financial abuse, the breaking objects) because I was on the drugs. My mind was so hazy I couldn't think straight. I also know that it was because of the way my sister treated me and her relationship with her boyfriend. Their unhealthy model made me think that what he was doing was acceptable. I somehow was able to get myself together and kick him out after he almost punched me. Shortly after that I started working out. Over a period of two years i lost 80 pounds working out and being able to eat health again when I had a med change in early 2016. The med change in early 2016 came when I gained insomnia for the first time in my life. I was in a relationship with a dangerous liar who was using me for sex. My hazy drugged brain couldn't figure it out, but I would become anxious and alert because deep inside of me, I knew what was happening. This turned out to be a great thing for me. We broke up when he was done with me and I got on new drugs. These had a much looser hold on me. I was studying behaviorism in graduate school and the way my "illness" had been defined,diagnosed,and treated did not make sense to me. I started dating a friend and he is really good to me. Somehow he tapped into the part of me that was most me. I got off of "sleeping pills" first, last year. These turned out to have been making me very high and "go go go". I calmed down a lot after that and started sleeping better. I was also able to identify that I was over medicated by talking to him and realized that I couldn't feel my emotions properly. That is when I saw that my psychiatrist would never help me get off of the drugs. She yelled at me when I said I was over medicated and barely agreed to lower me from the max dose (which had been placed by an entirely different doctor). I've been been hospitalized a number of times because of the drugs-three times in a mental hospital and twice in a medical hospital. The top most upsetting thing to find out has been that I never had any illness...at all. Now that I am off the drugs I don't have anxiety, depression, psychosis, or any of the weird ways these would manifest I noticed these symptoms fade away as the drugs left my system. I was and am so proud that I was able to get off of them, especially while doing so much else with my life. I've been through some awful physical side effects, but mentally I have been so clear and myself. I'm not always happy, because along with my lack of mental illness symptoms has come a level of consciousness I have never experienced as an adult. Not only do I suddenly remember all of the traumatic things I went through with my mom and her drugs, my own drugs, and my own life, I'm also painfully aware of other people's emotions, motivations, and actions. Everything came back into focus sharper than it does for most people, I think. I'm having to cope with the realities of materialism and our society-suddenly all at once. I think I get exposed to the evils of the world much more than the average person, too, in my job doing social work. My eyes are open to a lot now that I just couldn't see before. My withdrawal symptoms included getting hot every time I was hungry, food intake fluctuations, heat sensitivity, sudden sleepiness, insomnia, food sensitivity, weakness, tingling in my foot, sensory sensitivity, and general disorientation due to how aware of people's tones and body language I am now. When I came to, though, I realized I had done really good for myself despite the drugs. I have a very high powered career and am the youngest person of my type of position in our agency, but have the highest level of education. I graduated with my masters with a 3.9 gpa and got through my undergrad with a medication induced learning disability and my mother's death with a 3.2 gpa at a top university. I escaped two abusive relationships and am now going to marry a very trust worthy, kind, hardworking man who also happens to be the most handsome man I have ever seen. Somehow we were able to take care of our relationship with everything I was going through and his 70% traveling job for a whole year. We just moved to a huge two bedroom apartment in the nicest part of town and I am completely able to pay my half of the bills and all of my own bills. His trauma from being abused has been healing and we have been living together post-his traveling job for three months and it has been the most amazing life. While I have a much smaller number of friends than I once had, I have four friends I can really trust and rely on. Some are available more often than others, but four seems like a huge blessing to me. I sleep full nights most nights after 13 years of drug induced sleep. This started on day two of no drugs. i didn't get the big job I interviewed for, but my supervisor thinks it was due to administrative errors and my application being allowed to be sent through to too high a position. I was sent through to an above entry level position because of how good I look on paper. She is getting me ready for the entry level position interview in two months. Despite that, I am being recognized as a talented writer and assessor at work. The most anyone ever noticed about my withdrawal symptoms was that I talked fast sometimes and that is over. New withdrawal symptoms have been happening these two weeks I've had my period and that has been a set back in my recovery. Writing all of this down makes me feel proud of myself and know that I can get through this.

i need some advice and/or help in navigating where i'm at with all of this. i have tapered with the help of, previously an inconsiderate doctor, and currently an excellent one. there were times where i was shifted about from tapering lexapro to various different antidepressants, i cannot remember all of them as there were many, but trintellix and was one of them. after a severe (and still recovering) bout of health anxiety, i stumbled upon the ashton manual (around november 2018) and folks talking about their experience with coming off of benzos. since i was taking ativan at the time, it was my scapegoat. i tried kicking it, lurked in various places online for other people's experiences, and started to shift my view to it being less about the benzos, and more about the psychiatric medication as a whole when it didn't quite work out. since february of 2019, i have tapered off of three medications in order: trileptal, geodon, and lexapro. the trileptal was easy enough, but the geodon was a world of hurt. in my signature i've listed that the lexapro and geodon were tapered at the same time- this is to the best of my memory, which is spotty due to the polypharmacy. i know the geodon was the priority, but i seem to recall going back and forth with lexapro's dose while dealing with the geodon withdrawal- which assuredly caused the only psychotic event of my life. i switched doctors after being told to simply 'take the geodon every other day for awhile,' which said doctor told me not to do with the lexapro, and i couldn't handle the fact that my appointments were less than five minutes long. i switched to a new professional, and they are great. i was introduced to the compounding pharmacy for the geodon since it did not go any lower than 20mg, and following the completion of that taper in sept 2019, i focused on the lexapro, which is now completed. i am no stranger to windows and waves, which are thankfully getting much better and easier to tolerate- though the waves are still intense. there are too many symptoms to list, but the FINISH acronym is very apt and applies to me, mostly the zaps, gastrointestinal issues, and insomnia. my biggest concern at the moment is dealing with my sleep issues. previously it was a complete lack of being able to sleep, but now it is more of a reversal of my circadian rhythm. 12 hours on the dot to when i could be waking up otherwise, and i cannot simply 'fix' this as far as i have tried. i have a lot of frustration about having been medicated for entirely the wrong things as a result of being diagnosed with a mental health condition that i do not have by a 10 question piece of paper at a doctor's office, but it is well beyond in the past to change it now. i cannot beat myself up for this, as i was dealing with a gnarly living situation at the time and thought they could help. they could not. this frustration, coupled with having a frazzled nervous system and having a wholly messed up sleep schedule, is getting to me. i have to tell myself that it's okay to be healing right now, as there is not much that is expected of me, but i am having trouble essentially pep-talking myself into feeling better when i feel terrible from still withdrawing. while i am done with all of my medication, there is much healing to be done, and i am very tired of how long this has been going on. apologies for the long post- i felt it necessary to post a bit of history/context, and i have trouble being unprompted for these sorts of things. i have not used a forum in a long time!

Hi, I was prescribed Risperdal .25mg, Klonopin.50mg and Trileptal 300mg all at the same time in September 2007. By 2013 a new psychiatrist had upped my doses to R 1.50mg, K .50mg and TRileptal 900mg and added Saphris 10mg. The original psychiatrist did not provide a diagnosis and I presented with what he called "Compulsivity Contol Issues". I didn't know this until requesting my medical records from this original psychiatrist from the state I used to live in. I requested the records May of 2016 after being completely disabled by the drugs. When I asked my then psychiatrist what my diagnosis was she said Bi Polar based on the drugs I told her I was taking when I came to her in 2009. I was blown away. Nowhere in my history before or after these drugs did I ever experience Bi Polar symptoms. The only thing that I ever told my psychiatrist was that my job was stressful and I wasn't coping and I didn't think the drugs were helping me but rather hurting me. She said I needed higher doses and upped all of my meds except the K. At that point I decided to taper off the drugs. I tapered myself off of the Saphris which took me from May 27th 2016 to November 19th, 2016. I didn't tell her what I was doing. When I asked her for help getting off of the rest of the drugs she told me to just stop taking them. I gave myself a break from tapering and started doing research on tapering correctly and am now reaching out to a forum. I found a psychiatric nurse who I told my story to and she agreed to help me get off the drugs. I had her prescribe the liquid form of risperidone and began my taper on Jan 5th 2017. I have 2 questions: 1. I know that tapering more than one drug at a time is not recommended but I have been reading the user Rhiannon's posts and looking at their signature and saw that they tapered more than one drug at once and was wondering what their method was. I'm not investigating this to get through the withdrawls faster but rather having to take all these poisons every night is causing me so much anxiety knowing that I can only knock one out at a time and I like the idea of working on all of them a little bit at a time (these would be micro cuts on all the drugs) 2. Does anyone know what happened to Rhiannon? I tried to send them a message and it gave me an error message saying something like they are no loner accepting messages. I just wondered if they finished and are no longer in the forum...? Any help greatly appreciated!!

Hi everyone, i'm a 37yo male and I need advice on tapering. I seen a MD and first ever meds prescribed to me were in 2013. Wellbutrin 150 mg SR & 0.5mg Xanax as needed. Over the next 3-4 years was given effexor, Lexapro, prozac, paxil, Zoloft and others I cannot remember. Xanax was upped to 1mg 3x daily. Before seeing a psychiatrist was taking Xanax at irregular doses of 1-3mg at a time but usually not daily. Average 60mg a month. So I started to have lots of extra building up. After I was prescribed Valium from the psychiatrist I flushed all the Xanax down the toilet. Since then I've been taking 10mg Valium every 2 days. The psych said it would be fine to switch straight to the Valium. Didn't have any WD. Not sure if my body can go cold turkey on a benzo though because of what I've read on the internet. Glad I found this forum. In June at my first appointment with the psych I was diagnosed bipolar and prescribed trileptal 300mg twice daily which was tapered upwards over 2 weeks. 150mg SR Wellbutrin in the morning. I forget the lithium dose and the gabapentin because the bottles were huge and I refused to take them. I did take the trileptal and Wellbutrin and still do. I've been on and off Wellbutrin for 4 years. Mostly off. 2nd appointment told the doc I wasn't going to take the lithium or gabapentin. He convinced me to take the gabapentin and the dose was tapered to 2400mg over several weeks. 3rd appointment I was always feeling jittery and told him my short term memory was really bad. Got asked a bunch of questions and diagnosed with ADHD. Prescribed Adderall 20mg 3x a day. It was also tapered upwards over a few weeks. I asked to switch to Valium because I read that it's easier to withdraw from. I had not tried to stop taking Xanax since it was prescribed. I didn't tell him my plan was to quit benzos entirely but I was scared from what I had read on the internet. I'm feeling worse on these drugs than I did without them. What started with a visit to my MD because I was feeling down and maybe depressed has lead me to this cocktail of drugs. I'm not feeling myself and have no motivation or interest in things that I used to take joy in.I'm scared this is permanent and I want to get off all my meds. I read the forums about tapering but I'm totally lost on what med to start with. Can someone give me some advice please.

So 2 and a half months ago i started taking trileptal because of bipolar, they never worked so my doctor decided to put me on risperdal, 1 mg at night and half in the morning, everything was great for a month, the risperdal was working but one day i started having dizziness and was feeling too tired, like i was high or something, i ended up going to the ER because i had so much anxiety and dizziness, i talked to my doctor and he told me to quit the risperdal cold turkey because those was probably causing me those symptoms, well its been 2 weeks today since i quit risperdal and im still feeling dizzy with a brain fog, i haven't had a clear mind in a while, i also quit trileptal a week ago because i started to think it was the trileptal, but nothing is improving, do i need to wait for a longer time? I hear a lot of people get better within a week of quitting the medication and others take days, but i still feel like im under the pills effects, am i going to have this brain fog for a while? When i say brain fog i mean like, i cant feel or see things too clear, things are not vivid around me, and my mind feels like is working very slow. Once again, i took risperdal for a month and trileptal for 2 months and a half, i forgot to mention that im always tired too. Could this be the mixture of both pills? Or could it be the risperdal?

Hello All, I am glad I found this site because I have been at wits end trying to find someone who has information/experience about withdrawing from the drug abilify I was put on it after a brief hospitalizatioon in May 2013 for a suicide attempt/depression side of bipolar. I also take Trileptal 900mgam/pm. On Abilify I have experienced anticholinergic effects, orthostatic hypotension, and a sedated kind of doped out feeling and thoughts are not always clear. It is my desire to get off Abilify because of its dangers of more intense SE's as time goes on and the desire to prepare my body for pregnancy. My husband and I are currently trying now. I am 43 and believe my childbearing years are waning. I recently discussed my situation with my doctor in letting him know about my feelings, etc. At that point we made the agreement not to get off just yet because I had been studying for an RN refresher course and had a huge exam in which I took two days ago. I had been searching all over the internet and making calls to detox centers and no one has heard of abilify detox. I regret going on the abilify and think a lot of these drs are very quick to prescribe anything for any little thing. My doctor likes to tell me "You are doing better than you think you are" and I have to disagree. I canceled my appt which was a day before my exam with him specifically bc I did not want to get into a stressful conversation with him before my nursing exam which was a wise choice on my part. My next appt with him is Oct. 2. I am tired of being convinced that I need to be on it and leaving his office with yet another prescription for 15mg of Abilify. And when I discuss all the dangerous SE"s with him that e could possibly happen he just says Oh that's a small percentage and the drug company has to put that on the list because there's a 0.1% chance of that happening. This really bothers me.....And I am not sure how any Dr. can consciously and ethically prescribe this drug knowing all the possible things that could happen. (See Drugs.detox.com) I just want to get off of it safely and I honestly don't think most Dr's know how to do this or even want to. The last time I expressed getting off a regime before he wanted me to sign a liability waiver. I am not sure how to approach this subject again with him and I am tired of being "compliant" He has made so much money off of me visiting him every two weeks. And to complicate matters since I was hospitalized the state board of nursing put me on a 5 year probationary status where I am tied into seeing this Dr. and they are looking for compliance. But does compliance mean doing everything the doc says? My doctor believes that the only possible reason to give the board as to tapering down is a possible pregnancy since he has to report to them every 90 days. (He seems to dismiss any of the SE's I am experiencing as a reason to discontinue) And I'm afraid if I get pregnant then he's going to want to take me down fast. So I need to know how to propose to him taking me down BEFORE I get pregnant. I feel like a gullible fool for him making me believe I need this and me knowing all the dangers associated with it but I know there is a physical dependence going on here. And I'd l to like to know how others have done this and approached their Dr's on this issue (of getting off) I'd like to know the best way to self advocate....and how I can guide my doctor into the best way of tapering down and what is that? I have heard the 10% rule but a lot of these docs want to go down 30 to 50% within a week to four weeks and because I have an upcoming hospital clinical in the next two months I don't want to attempt a drastic change.but the need for me to get off this is very strong......Any suggestions of how to handle this next appointment? My nephrologist says that I should be political, about it but I am not sure exactly what that means or how to go about it. (Help!!)

I've been going through AD withdrawals now for going on 3 years, and I've recently turned a corner and began noticing very noticeable improvements since last August. I'm soOoo thankful for that! I've told everyone that will listen how much of a nightmare this has been and how I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Well, now my 11 year old niece is going through a nightmare of her own. She was taking Evekeo (a stimulant ADHD med) for about 3 years until the Dr. switched her over to a "non-habit" forming adhd med, and then back to a different stimulant adhd med and then stopped all together. They started switching up her meds around last July-August, and booM! She started exhibiting different symptoms of withdrawal. At the time, I had no idea that stimulant ADHD meds could cause withdrawals so we thought she was just going through pre-teen phases. But her behavior starting changing, and then she started having hallucinations and delusions. Hearing voices, seeing "shadow people...very scary stuff for an 11 year old. I know this is an antidepressant forum, but I was wondering if anyone here has experience with ADHD withdrawals, or if someone could point me to a message board similar to this one? She has started cutting herself and has had suicidal thoughts. I believe she is having delusions of incidences happening in the home that she has reported to the school counselor. So, now dfcs is involved and has required her to see a psychiatrist at "their" hospital. They are now prescribing her Risperdal and Trileptal. One is for treating bipolar disorder and the other is for seizures. Prior to stopping her ADHD medicine, she never exhibited signs of any mental health issues. Just ADHD. They recently tried a bipolar med for 2 weeks last month and took her off since it did not help. They have not officially diagnosed her as bipolar and she's never had a seizure, but the physicians assistant decided to prescribe and treat her anyway for these things. If they dont do what the Dr. tells them, dfcs steps in and will try to intervene and possibly remove her from her home. I know without a doubt this is adhd stimulant withdrawals, so it's easy to assume that it's just like SSRI withdrawals...but I am not educated enough on it. My sister (her mom) has been grasping at straws trying to figure out what's going on, and in my gut I had a feeling what it was. I came across something with a little more information on it (the above link), and I believe I finally have her convinced that her daughter isn't sick...she's just going through pretty much exactly what I've been going through, minus the hallucinations and delusions. Sorry that was long! Any ideas on where to go from here? Is this also a wait and heal type of thing? I told her they need to take her off those new meds immediately, but it's a sticky situation. We all feel completely helpless. I absolutely feel that I HAVE to speak for her on her behalf and protect her from the white coats before they make things worse. They are already trying to treat symptoms instead of doing their due diligence and ask the right questions. It's all right under their noses, I just cant believe they are this naive about withdrawals. Thanks in advance for any help!

Hi All, I'm joining SA as a way to give and receive support as I work my way out of 14 years of poly-drug treatment for a "severe mental illness" diagnosed after I was involuntarily hospitalized in an extreme state in 2001. When I was released from the hospital, I was on Seroquel and Depakote, constipated, confused, sad and dopey. I slept all the time, gained weight, my hair fell out. Deemed in the depression cycle of bipolar disorder, I was prescribed Celexa (terrible headaches and nausea), then Effexor (caused me to lose consciousness after exercising), then Welbutrin. Lamictal and trileptal were added, Depakote taken away, Neurontin tried for awhile, stopped, all to "stabilize" my "mood". A good career and high salary were history. For 2 1/2 years, I could barely function. My history of previous hospitalizations and mother's suicide 6 years prior made my SSDI claim sail through. I lost the ability to socialize or feel comfortable into public. I could blank out and hit the ground if someone startled me or trapped me. Six years ago, I started using a trained service dog for tasks related to PTSD (protect my body space and assist me out of dissociative episodes). That assistance allowed me to get off the seroquel and start doing things outside my home. In 2013, coincidental with starting a part time job, I had an access challenge that involved the police. My anxiety went over the top. Psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel, then Klonopin to deal with that, but I had to come off the Temazepam to take the Klonopin. I hated Klonopin and wasn't sleeping. Psychiatrist said, "If 'we' take you off the Welbutrin, maybe you won't have so much anxiety." I realized all along he had been prescribing additional drugs to treat side effects. He had added Sertraline to the Welbutrin on a couple of occasions and insisted I go on that before coming off the Welbutrin, which I did. Sertraline made me miserable. I decided to stop taking it after 1 month. I had gone back on the Temazepam for sleep, but once off the Welbutrin, didn't need that, either. By April, 2014, I was off everything but Lamictal, Trileptal and Levothyroxine (thyroid). I felt like a different person, awake! I could think! Wow. My skin cleared up. I started enjoying life and others started noticing how different my energy was. I fired the psychiatrist and approached my primary care doc to help me taper off Lamictal and Trileptal (the only two psych drugs left). Since a hidden study (not released until after the Lamictal's patent expired), showed it no more effective than placebo for bipolar depression, I started with that first. I did 10% taper until I got to half. Then did 10% taper of the half, cutting back every 2-3 weeks. Two weeks after my last dose of Lamictal, I started to slip into an altered state. Contributing factors, IMO: 1) Lamictal and trileptal have a synergistic effect. Lamictal increases the dosage of trileptal by about 40%. Coming off lamictal was like tapering off both; 2) In altered states 5 times (first in 1974), I was always locked up and drugged, and never able to naturally resolve the process; 3) The 20th anniversary of my mother's suicide approached. The unresolved grief, numbed out by so many years of drugs, blindsided me; 4) I didn't sleep for 5 days; and 5) Given what I'm reading here, there may have been some delayed withdrawal effects in the mix. Fortunately, loving friends stayed with me, helping me avoid the trauma of lock up. I've never been a danger to myself or others. I needed sleep. My primary doc prescribed temazepam. This time, it worked poorly. I had to take 3X what I'd taken before and it wore off within 3 hours. I'm now using medical marijuana to sleep. That works better than anything else I've tried (other than the seroquel which created a walking coma, not to mention the cholesterol soaring). I'm concerned about the anticholinergic effects of the drugs I've taken, including the 600 mgs Trileptal I'm still taking. With a family history of Alzheimer's, I do not want to add any more fuel to that potential. I plan to start tapering off the trileptal this coming week. Thanks to all of you for being here.