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  1. I’ve been here before but I don’t think I posted an introduction when I first joined the site. That opening sentence is a good analogy for my story - I started something a number of years ago, I didn’t get far, couldn’t fully engage or complete the steps and now looking back, it’s hard to recall the detail (I had to go to my profile page to see the date I signed up - shocked that it was almost 5 years ago). Many ambitions in work, life, health, friendships but minimal progress and much frustration, sadness and increasing ill health. SSRI use began in my early 20s after many years of depression and anxiety. I think I was prescribed Citalopram. Towards the end of my 20s my husband and I decided to start a family. I came off meds twice because I didn't want to be on them during pregnancy or breadstfeeding. I don’t even recall how I stopped. Tried Zoloft after my 2nd child and had a terrible experience. Went on to Lexapro for approx 6 years. Switched to SNRI Effexor. I found the addition of norepinephrine really helpful to begin with as a prominent feature of my depression is lack of motivation and I was positive about the benefits I experienced. After some years I started experiencing debilitating daytime sleepiness. I had very heavy menstrual blood loss after my 2nd baby and often had low iron. Being a tired parent, the sleepiness didn’t seem that unusual, especially with my symptoms of low mood, anhedonia, etc. I tried to research the effect of antidepressants on sleep quality as I suspected that long term use could be affecting my sleep stages. Approx 2012 - 2015 Attempted to withdraw from Effexor twice. First attempt was way too fast and withdrawal was awful and so unsettling. Reinstated Second attempt was much slower after researching and finding anecdotal accounts of slow tapering; I think it was over 10-12 months. I coped until the end of the taper and then was once again really unwell. Once I reached small numbers of the little white beads I was swallowing them without a capsule It’s possible the drug didn’t make it past my stomach acids - essentially at the most precarious stage of tapering the decreases were way too large and fast. Couldn’t cope - back to GP and started on Cymbalta 30 and then 60mg. I saw a psychologist over many months and she encouraged me to investigate my sleepiness with a specialist and also to have an assessment for ADHD. In 2018 I did a number of sleep studies and was diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomnia; excessive daytime sleepiness despite fairly normal night time sleep.Sleep specialist prescribed Armodafinil 250mg daily - thankfully this keeps me awake. Psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD late 2018, age 46, and prescribed Vyvanse - This gave me mental clarity and optimism for better functioning in life. I couldn’t tolerate side effects and stopped after a few months. Also unable to tolerate Ritalin and Dexamfetamine. Devastated- after a brief glimpse at being able to organise and function well I had to stop the ADHD meds. Sleep Specialist doesn’t believe I have ADHD & that my executive function deficits stem from my sleep disorder. When I have raised the issue of long term antidepressant use as being the cause of my disorder, I get a blank stare and a recommendation to stay on the AD. Vyvanse gave me a very dry mouth, jaw clenching, mouth ulcers and a feeling of having burnt my tongue in a hot drink. The symptoms with my tongue in particular remained even after stopping Vyvanse. Oral specialist ruled out any issues. Nearly 5 years later I still have ‘burning mouth syndrome’. Some literature connects it to anxiety and also menopause. Oh yeah, menopause. ALL of my mental health struggles and symptoms have worsened with the hormonal upheaval. Pretty constant anxiety and very poor executive function. I discuss my depression and anxiety with my GP and they are very sympathetic. Suggested antipsychotics to get my anxiety under control. No thank you. I expressed concern that the long term AD use and daily anxiety is affecting my gastrointestinal health. She referred me for Gastroscopy & Colonoscopy, 2023. Colonoscopy all clear. Gastroscopy showed Telangiectasias in my upper stomach - like spider veins - with a ‘slow ooze’ of blood. No explanation of the cause Second gastroscopy was scheduled at a different clinic so they could treat the blood vessels - they use argon gas to seal off the bleeding - but this time the telangiectasias were not found. No explanation. My own theory is that the long term use of antidepressants is degrading my stomach (affecting so many systems in my body and brain) and that this mild bleeding happens sporadically and then resolves. I sometimes experience a bad taste in my mouth and wonder if it is from the blood. Blood test reveal low iron at times despite no dietary changes and no menstrual bleeding. Woah, this is turning into a long piece. I’m sure I could edit but I may never get it done and posted. I saw a different psychiatrist mid 2023. I was and am desperate to function better. The Psychiatrist didn’t recommend any of the non-stimulant ADHD meds, believing they could lead to adverse effects. Suggested I ask my Sleep specialist about increasing the Armodafinil to see if that helped. I increased by a half but it doesn’t help my executive functioning. Feb 2024 reduced Armodafinil from 375mg back to 250mg bc I was experiencing heart racing. That symptom has gone but I’m struggling with sleepiness during the day again. I guess my brain adapted to the higher dose. I’ve no way of proving my theories about the list of medical and psychological problems I have being linked to nearly 30 years of AD use. I want to get off Cymbalta. I have bought the Maudsley Deprescribing Guidelines. It’s going to be a very long road & I’m grateful for the SA resources and community.
  2. I've struggled with mental health issues since I was a kid - chronic anxiety, (undiagnosed) ADHD, OCPD, some depression from childhood trauma, etc. Unfortunately like many, I didn't get the courage to reach out for help until I was well into adulthood. I'm in regular therapy which seems to help a TON, but it became clear I needed some meds to supplement. When I first saw my psychiatrist I was in a major depressive episode that I couldn't shake, so she prescribed me Prozac. When I first started Prozac, it did seem to help. I was in a deep dark spiral and it numbed a lot of that. However, now a year and a half later, my doc has increased/added many other medications to counteract the side affects I've been experiencing with Prozac. First it was that it made my anxiety spike way up - added Buspar. Then I couldn't fall/stay asleep at night - added Clonazepam. Then I couldn't focus at work to save my life - I've always been a type-A overachiever/perfectionist, and I just didn't care anymore - added Adderall. This entire time I was experiencing major PSSD which was/is ruining my relationship - added Ashwaganda and other supplements. That didn't help, so now she's started me on Wellbutrin. I feel like all I'm doing is patching up one leak just to sprout another. I'm wondering, what if I didn't need to be treated for depression after all? Yes, I was majorly depressed when I reached out for help, but I'm not convinced that it's chronic. I think my ADHD, OCPD, and anxiety all start to take over and I'm not getting things done and then depression kicks in because of that. Am I just taking all of these medications for the wrong reasons? Anyone else on this same cocktail? Does it get better? Looking for any help or advice - thank you!
  3. Hello everyone. TW // mention of suicide I realized I should finally find a community that has experience or knows some of the issues I am facing because at this point I feel like I do not know what to do. I started out on lexapro 10mg in December of 2022 for anxiety primarily focused on my health during the last week or so of the year. After about 3 weeks I really started to feel agitation and complications with the 10mg, so my PCP had me move down to 5mg. Within the next week the agitation returned and eventually there were impulses of suicide following it. I'll keep this brief and not talk much about it, but for about 3-4 days I was having to rely on my girlfriend to monitor my ADHD meds and stay with her for fear of dying if I didn't. Immediately after these events I have stopped taking any AD since. I am still on my ADHD medicine but I do not know how much that is contributing to this situation(5mg dexmethylphenidate, two tablets each morning[a 10mg capsule was bad but 2 5mg tablets was better]). I am halfway through March now and I am starting to get a lot of physical heaviness, general daily stress, low level agitation and an overall uncomfortable feeling. I don't feel like there is anything I can properly enjoy. Also, I am a recently converted Christian as of July but I am really feeling some kind of spiritual pushback from everything and I feel like my withdrawals are part of it. I feel strain on my relationship with my girlfriend, I feel disconnected from everything, and mostly I don't feel like anything I do is actually correct or validated on a subconscious level. I don't feel like I should be alive, essentially. But not in a suicidal way. More of a "I am not supposed to be making any active decision in my life, no matter how small" kind of way. Kind of a depersonalization. I finally registered for this site in hopes to actually be able to find proper resources on how to battle these withdrawals. I do not know what else I am supposed to put in this introduction so I will leave it at that. I am grateful for this website and everyone involved with the maintenance of it. Thank you. bjmn0104
  4. Hi everyone, I want to introduce myself. This forum helped me start tapering off of paxil a year ago and I never officially joined until now. Now that I am close to the finish mark, things have gotten harder. It is a long story, so I post a summary first and then a longer version. What I am looking for: sympathy, tips on dealing with current WD symptoms, advice, etc. My history (summary): May 2017-April 2018: 30 mg paxil April-September 2018: 15 mg paxil Sept-Nov 2018: 20 mg paxil November 2019: switch to 20mg paroxetine (bad reaction to change) December 2019-July 2021: 20mg Paxil again June 2021-August 2021: slow transition from 20mg brand paxil to 20mg paroxetine. Went well this time.(motivation was price of drug) July 2021: discussed with doc that parox has made me feel stupid/less sharp. I have always been considered a smart individual, and my work is very intellectual. He said parox does indeed cause cognitive decline over extended use period. So I started tapering off 20mg paroxetine at approx. -10% a month. Had to combine with suspension which is only sold as brand Paxil. (Doc supported this plan). July 2021: doc suggested cannabis for insomnia and that has been wonderful. This was because I often found myself needing 0.25mg alprazolam to sleep and he said cannabis was better. May 2022: reached 10mg paroxetine (from 20mg July 2021). No bad feelings other than noticing increased overall anxiety. Convinced myself I do want to take meds but not paroxetine. July 2022: Doc suggested change to 10 mg Trintellix. Suggested plan was: week 1: 10mg parox and 5mg trintellix; week 2: 10 mg parox and 10mg trintellix; week 3: 5 mg parox and 10mg trintellix (I disobeyed and went to 7.5mg instead and felt fine); week 4: 2.5mg parox and 10mg trintellix (I disobeyed and went to 5mg of paroxetine and all hell broke loose). Three days into the change from 7.5->5mg paroxetine I started feeling terrible withdrawal. August 2022: currently taking 10mg trintellix in the morning and 5 mg paroxetine in the evening and afraid to reduce further. Have been needing 0.25 mg alprazolam to sleep because I am afraid of using prescribed cannabis, which is what I normally use for sleeping. August 2022: 10mg trintellix and 5 mg paroxetine. Alprazolam 0.25mg or cannabis for sleep. Having WD from parox in spite of trintellix. Since 3rd day of going 7.5mg->5mg of parox I have felt crippling headache that did not subside even with 600 mg ibuprofen. This came along with a very stiff neck seemingly out of the blue. I decided it must've been my yoga headstand. But I also felt a bit off - weird racing thoughts, did not feel like myself. Had to take alprazolam 0.25 mg to sleep. The next day I felt extremely nauseous and dizzy along with the stiff neck, ocular pain, and a paradoxical feeling of both light and heavy head, if that makes sense. These symptoms persisted into the next day, which is where I am now. What I've been trying from reading here: took 2x 120mg magnesium capsules this morning and 2xvegan omega3 capsules. I felt some relief from ocular and neck pain. Also have been using heat pads and sniffing my lavender/eucalyptus oil blend for relief. Tums helped with nausea yesterday. Any tips are welcome. Thank you PS: I also take between 5-20mg of dextroamphetamine for adhd daily. This started late in life on July 2020 and has proved essential to my surviving in capitalism as a late diagnosed woman with adhd. Long version: Prescribed brand Paxil for generalyzed anxiety disorder: 10 mg for a week, 20mg second week, 30 mg third week. Adjusted well and main side effects were: constipation, weight gain, increased motion sickness. These seemed worth it compared to my anxiety. Took that from may 2017 to around march 2019, when, aided by prescribing doctor, decided to try to stop gradually. He recommended reduce in half (15 mg) in one go and report back. I did and stayed there for about 5 weeks. I felt physical symptoms such as diarrhea, ocular pain, headaches, general photophobia. Doc said these were normal and would subside and indeed they did after about 5 weeks. At that point doc said to cut in half again (7.5 mg). After a couple of days I felt all the previous symptoms in huge intensity but also despair, dread, bouts of crying, and generally a feeling of losing myself. Doc told me to up it back to 15 mg and stay there, which I did. A few months later I was having trouble sleeping and drinking myself to sleep so I asked for advice and he upped the dose to 20mg, where I stayed until July 2021. In November 2020 I tried switching from paxil to paroxetine and had huge withdrawal symptoms (same dose). Switched back to paxil. July 2021, switched gradually from paxil to paroxetine because it is cheaper. That worked fine. I also then started tapering off from 20mg to 10mg (achieved May 2022, no withdrawal). July 2022, doc suggests transition to trintellix with following plan: week In July 2020 I started seeing a new psychiatrist and long story short he said paroxetine was notoriously difficult to get off of and that we could switch to trintellix if I wanted to continue medication or use fluoxetine as a bridge. In July 2021, aided by websites like this one, I told him I would start a slow tappering off to help me decide and he supported did. I did about -10% a month, including paxil suspension Last week July 2022: started 5 mg Trintellix. A week later 10 mg Trintellix. A week later went from 10 to 7.5 mg of paroxetine. Felt ok. A week later went from 7.5 to 5 mg of paroxetine. On the third day felt crippling headache that did not subside even with 600 mg ibuprofen. This came along with a very stiff neck seemingly out of the blue. I decided it must've been my yoga headstand. But I also felt a bit off - weird racing thoughts, did not feel like myself. Had to take alprazolam 0.25 mg to sleep. The next day I felt extremely nauseous and dizzy along with the stiff neck, ocular pain, and a paradoxical feeling of both light and heavy head, if that makes sense. These symptoms persisted into the next day, which is where I am now. Any advice/tips/stories/support is welcome. Thank you
  5. I suffer from mental and emotional dullness after using depression and delirium medications, so that I used intermittently and for a short period of time, ecitalopram and arpiprazole. I do not feel the same as my previous feelings. Please help me from someone who has experience on how to get rid of these symptoms, especially the problem of concentration and forgetfulness. Thank you very much.
  6. Original topic title before reducing the length of it: I cold turkey’d too many things, the worst being Celexa, due to misdiagnosis and emotional blunting. I’m struggling. Let me preface this by saying I have had unstable mental health as far back as I can remember. I was an anxious and depressed child. I used to SH as a teenager and was put on Paxil, but I hated it and quit after a couple months. I did not use medication for any mental health reasons for at least 10 years after that. I have been told I’m bipolar by people close to me, and I think doctors eat that up and once you’re branded bipolar, that’s your identity. But that’s neither here nor there; the main takeaway from that is I was put on several different medications and hated the way I felt on all of them. My first return to psych meds was in the summer of 2015 with a diagnosis of GAD which turned into GAD and bipolar 2. I was put on Celexa 20mg. It was pretty good for a while. I was then put on Lamictal 150mg and took both, but the Lamictal made me feel like a zombie so I didn’t take that long. I kept up with the Celexa. After my gastric bypass surgery, the Celexa didn’t work as well. I was then bumped to 40mg and that’s where I stayed. I was starting to feel severely depressed, emotionally numb, and had anxiety creep back in so I was put on Wellbutrin 300mg and buspar 15mg on top of the Celexa. I took this combo for maybe a year but I was horribly noncompliant for the most part and it never really did much for me. I CT’d the buspar and Wellbutrin. I was to a point (and still am) where laughing felt like a chore. Crying is almost non existent unless it is a major sad event (death). Interest in things and smiling are difficult to come by. The only emotion I felt was rage. I was either apathetic or enraged. That’s when I was given the ultimatum to treat my bipolar disorder, as I was often verbally abusive to my SO and would have meltdowns. Jesus this is embarrassing. I finally gave in and started seeing a psych through telehealth. Big mistake, told them about my previous dx. That was enough to not even evaluate me, and I was started on some antipsychotics in addition to the Celexa. This was the beginning of a long spiral of multiple medications that ended with Latuda that made me so depressed I cried constantly. There was no tapering involved really, maybe just a two week period of dropping while introducing something else. I went through Abilify, Trileptal, Latuda, Abilify again, and Lamictal. My brain felt so fried at this point I said I’m done, and stopped taking everything except my Celexa. After stopping all of these meds I was so far depressed and anhedonic I decided I was done taking everything and needed a brain reset. I ended up taking 10mg Celexa a few weeks and then dropped to nothing after 6.5 years. After reading this forum, I realized this was probably one of my big mistakes. Now not only did I have severe mood disturbances, I felt physically sick. The physical symptoms went away after a few weeks. The last time I took Celexa was at the end of February this year. Now I am dealing with a whole host of other issues. It turns out I’m not bipolar, I have ADHD. Again, not knowing any better that I shouldn’t take anything that alters my brain, I’ve been on stimulants and back to Wellbutrin. NOTHING is helping. The anhedonia and apathy are killing me. I feel no emotion towards anyone. I am not interested in anything. Every moment is painful. ADHD meds are doing nothing for me. I guess I am looking for support. Advice. Anything. Something that tells me my brain damage isn’t permanent. Something that tells me I will feel emotions again, that I won’t think my favorite past times are a waste of time, that I will feel love towards my SO and family again. I felt emotional blunting with Celexa, but nothing like this. I don’t know what to do, and my doctor is useless when it comes to this.
  7. I'll try to keep this kind of short. I've finally decided to post an intro today after reading posts on this site for a few years now which has helped a lot with understanding what's going on since most doctors just told me my SSRI discontinuation/withdrawal symptoms-which were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before and physically and emotionally worse than I'd ever felt-were a return of my depression & anxiety or possibly a bipolar disorder according to one doctor. I knew for a fact that it was not my original anxiety & depression, but I had no idea what was happening in the beginning or how to explain it. I had social anxiety, depression, & general anxiety since age 12 and was not allowed to drive/take the bus/go out or do much by myself other than going to school (because everything was too dangerous) by controlling, religious parents with their own high anxiety and agoraphobia. I was never allowed to receive counseling for these issues & when I went off to college, it was an extremely difficult struggle going from not being allowed to do almost anything to suddenly being responsible for figuring everything out on my own. I was also not great with time management skills & knowing how to plan ahead. (I actually relate to a lot of symptoms of ADD & Asperger's, which both greatly affect social skills & ability to get through college and would explain a lot of problems I've had. I have learned more about them in the past year, but can't afford to get diagnosed right now so I've just been looking at support groups for days when my nausea is lessened.) I felt overwhelmed all the time and all my negative thoughts worsened severely. I didn't see the free counselor at college during this time either because I was embarrassed about everything and about asking for help. I finally decided I wanted to try to make a change and try counseling the summer after sophomore year of college at age 20 and was at rock bottom, desperate to not feel depressed. I knew someone who said their antidepressant helped them, so I asked a doctor for medicine and they prescribed sertraline. After taking the first pill, I had a surge of anxiety and racing thoughts that made it impossible to concentrate. Within the first couple days on 25 mg of sertraline, I was gagging and dry heaving over and over for at least 20 minutes as soon as I ate anything. I would also throw up multiple times in a short timespan after one snack or meal. I called my Dr & was told to skip a dose and then change the time I took the dose from morning to night. After a week of this (dry heaving & vomiting all meals) on 25 mg, and another call to the doctor, I was told that digestive issues are a possible starting symptom and to increase to 50 mg. As soon as I increased, the gagging & vomiting increased even more. After 6 days of this, I called the doctor again and was told I could stop taking it altogether since it had been such a short amount of time on it. And to come in for a different medicine Rx after the weekend. The very first day that I didn't take the sertraline, I felt the worst nausea I had ever felt in my entire life. I ended up asking a friend to drive me to the ER because I felt so sick. I told the Dr how I had just stopped sertraline. The doctor said that my pupils were dilated and my reflexes were overactive. Then, he listed off illegal drugs & asked if I had taken those. (No, I've never tried any drug before). He said "You need to tell me what else is going on because the antidepressant couldn't have caused this." And I said "I don't know" and started crying. I do know that people in my family are highly sensitive to medicines and have since found out I have a gene that causes me to metabolize slowly so things build up for longer in my system. Anyway, the Dr left the room and at one point I was given Ativan in an IV by the nurse which did ease the nausea. When the Dr came back, he told me I had SSRI discontinuation syndrome, (he didn't explain what that meant), that I could never try another SSRI, and gave me a Rx for a small bottle of Ativan. My mom said he mentioned something on the phone to her about serotonin syndrome which dilated pupils and overactive reflexes are symptoms of, but I don't remember him saying anything about it directly to me. He also mentioned reinstating a small amount might help but my mom didn't pass this on to me until much later because she didn't want me to take it. After that, I experienced: -more dry heaving which gradually lessened in frequency -random times of vomiting after eating and after exercising when I wasn't sick & the food wasn't bad (or sometimes nothing was left to vomit & only a small amount would come up) -continuing debilitating nausea & dizziness -olfactory hallucination (putrid smell that wouldn't go away, would intensify around strong scents such as soap & car exhaust) -uncontrollable crying at every tiny thing (neuro-emotion, not regular sadness) -uncontrollable rage (neuro-emotion) -intrusive thoughts & floods of bad memories which I "word vomited" in texts to my sisters -didn't want to be around people who I associated with bad memories because it would greatly intensify neuro-anxiety. (I'd guess the feeling is similar to what people mean who talk about experiencing bad drug trips and how it's important to be with people you trust) -nightmares -paranoia/suspicion/distrust (felt like my mom & sister were not really my mom and sister even though logically, I knew it was them. Things feel creepy & sinister -almost like a horror movie sometimes. A post I read here compared the sinister feeling to a bad LSD trip. I have never tried LSD, but I understood what they meant & is the closest way I found to describe it. -cognitive fog (thinking, processing speed, & reaction time is noticeably slower) (I was a slow thinker/processor before, but it feels like I have brain damage now) -memory problems (I was somewhat forgetful before, but am even more so now) -depersonalization ("it feels like the medicine changed who I am & I don't have an identity/sense of self which I still hadn't fully formed before sertraline) -derealization (feel emotionally disconnected & distant from people/atmosphere. I know things are real, but they don't feel real. Sometimes it feels like consequences won't matter or there is no sense of helpful anxiety even in a potentially dangerous situation. Logically, I know they do matter and still want to do the right thing) -anhedonia/apathy/emotionally numb (don't care about things or have the same amount of passion for interests or feel empathy for other people's emotions or feel spiritual even though I had some spiritual beliefs before. Couldn't feel hopeful about anything/future or feel love towards or from anyone. These emotions have slowly returned to a certain degree since then & levels of ability to feel them have changed at different courses of time) -blurred/cloudy vision (when DR was at most intense, vision was different. Hard to explain) -eye floaters ( random black specks & lines) Didn't notice these until a year after DC-ing -constant yawning/air hunger -stomach/digestion issues -burning, tingling, itching, numbness, redness in feet -brain zaps/"crackles" (sometimes annoying, sometimes painful, but my most tolerable symptom) -head pressure/tightness, feels like head is being squeezed -headaches There was also a period of 6 months where I thought certain symptoms were over and after that period, the dizziness returned. Those are most of the symptoms I've experienced in the past approx 3.5 years. They're not in order. I'm 24 now. A few have gone away for the most part (vomiting, olfactory hallucination, yawning) and most are less intense. I have really improved a lot, I don't mean to sound overly negative. But, I still have the issues I went on the SSRI for & I have trouble accepting where I am & worrying about where to go from here & the uncertainty of how long this lasts because it has put lots of areas of my life on hold (I wasn't able to go back to college, I hope to someday) and ended up making things harder to deal with when I was told it would make them easier. (BTW, I am now seeing a counselor). I don't understand why people say SSRI's are not technically drugs when they have this much of an effect on your mind, mood, & perceptions. Sorry if I have over shared, I might need to post a shorter version of this at some point that's easier to read. And I'm still figuring out the layout of the website & where to post about certain questions & topics. I just know that sometimes other people's explanations made me feel better because I had some understanding of what was happening & words to describe feelings I'd never had before and didn't know how to explain. I've also had other stress & health issues and a few (physical health) medicines that have affected my withdrawal progress, but I guess that's a topic for a separate forum. Any advice, similar experiences, recommendations, tips for using the site, or insight into what happened to my brain is appreciated if anyone feels so inclined :)
  8. Hi all, I am Katt, And I am weaning off of Effexor first and then will try to get off of Clonopin. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I’m 59 and first started antidepressants when I was in my mid 20s. I’ve been on and off a large variety of medications, all of which either eventually stopped working or caused too many side effects. Wellbutrin caused terrible insomnia for way too long. I have tried Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac and a few others I can’t remember. I decided to wean off of Effexor after I completed the series of trans cranial magnetic stimulation which has seemed to help a lot. Now I want to get off of the anti-depressant and be sure That I am cured of my depression, or at least greatly improved. The Clonopin I take, 1 mg a day, is for help with sleep… It turns off that voice inside my head that wants to make a grocery list or remember to bring something with me when I go someplace. In other words, **** I don’t need to be thinking about at 3 AM! I haven’t figured out how to put in a signature line yet, but this is the latest information. I started Effexor in 2014 or 15. I was taking 300 mg, 150 twice a day. I am weaning down 37.5 mg every three weeks. At first I was on a two week schedule, but since my husband has metastatic cancer, my teenage daughter had a first psychotic episode, my youngest suffered recurrence of severe anxiety, depression and school refusal and I lost my job... so my psychiatrist decided a three week interval might be best. In reading through the possible side effects of Effexor, which I had read when I first began taking the medication, I now realize that it has probably been the cause of many adverse physical effects I have been blaming on other things! Below is a list, or at least a partial list, of side effects I believe are caused by the Effexor! Many things are new and, of conditions I had previous to Effexor, worsening of symptoms: Type two diabetes High cholesterol Elevated liver enzymes Elevated iron levels Gallstones Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease Level two or three scarring of my liver Excessive sweating Hot flashes Night sweats Nausea Weakness Severe fatigue Very tight muscles in my neck Muscle spasms of my back, neck and legs Abnormal healing creating abnormal scars Clumsiness or loss of balance? Memory loss, confusion, working and thinking slowly? Tinnitus Heart palpitations Tachycardia Persistent edema, especially of the hands Worsening of rosacea and acne Worsening of urticaria Itchy skin Easy bruising Stiff muscles, decreased flexibility and range of motion everywhere Excessive bleeding of cuts Anorgasmia, improved a little Tingling and numbness in my feet, not from the diabetes Extreme worsening of back hip and neck pain Worse arthritis Some Urinary incontinence or hesitation Hair loss Worsened asthma Sleep apnea And a whole bunch of other things I had never heard of or made the connection to Effexor since they may not have started or worsened for a few months or years after starting taking the drug. Glad to be here and compare notes with others. The main side effect of withdrawal I am experiencing now is nausea. Luckily the brain zaps have not started and I hope they do not. I’m starting physical therapy for pain, weakness and mobility issues soon. I have a TENS unit for my back and hip pain, I hope to get a Home traction unit for my spine and a new SI belt for hip pain. Katt
  9. In Feb of this year I decided that the cons of Adderall were no longer to my benefit and decided to quit cold turkey. I spent a month weak, tired, irritable and unable to cope with all the "noise" of everything that was happening around me. Driving, shopping, even conversations felt like too much to handle. They say that Adderall is not addicting but it is, maybe not in the physical sense for some but in the emotional sense I became heavily reliant on the pills just to be around people, to get out of bed; basically just to do the simple things that "regular" people get up and do day after day. When I was first prescribed Adderall about 7 years ago, every few months I'd purposely stop taking them for an entire wknd just to reassure myself that I could stop. To be continued.
  10. I have been on Wellbutrin for the last 10 years. I am currently on 300 mg of bupropion extended release. This will be my third attempt to taper off successfully. This time I have prepped my body and created a conducive environment to successfully taper off. I've followed the pre-taper protocol of a few holistic psychiatrists, mainly Dr. Kelly Brogan. Can anyone who has successfully tapered off Wellbutrin recommend a tapering schedule? Also, did you have the drug compounded into a liquid to taper or just taper down using the tablets? The compounding pharmacy said that they couldn't create a compounded version of the extended release of the Wellbutrin; it would just be immediate release. Is this true?
  11. So here we go... About 6 months ago I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD. Initially my doctor prescribed me Lexapro for my depression and I stopped taking it after around 5 days because it made me feel terrible. He decided to put me on Wellbutrin 150mg because of my depression and lack of motivation. The 150mg didn't really do anything for me so he bumped me up to 300mg. When he wrote me the script for the 300mg, he also wrote the vyvanse script for my ADHD (Initially 30mg now at 50mg). So i started taking the vyvanse and Wellbutrin at the same time. They worked very well at first and I started doing better at work, school and i started going out more with my friends. But after a couple months, the side effects really hit me. I would take my meds around 6:30am and I would start to crash around 10am. This was not ideal because I still have classes all the way up until 2pm. When I crash, I have a very cloudy, foggy feeling in my head and I can't think straight. It gets worst and worst everyday and I don't know what to do. I am a chronic marijuana user (multiple times a day). My doctor is aware i smoke and he told me that my chronic use of the drug contributed to my depression. I started smoking only a few times a week. My new meds started to work and I wasn't smoking weed anymore... Until the crash began to be too much on my head. Marijuana has helped me sleep, eat, interact with others, be happy etc... So here are my questions... 1. Are there any other good substitutions for Wellbutrin that isn't an SSRI? 2. Should I continue to smoke marijuana? If not, why? 3. Is there anything that will help my energy levels besides caffeine, medication and better health choices (I've tried a lot of them) Any other recommendations will help P.S. It will take a lot to convince me to stop smoking
  12. This is an extremely troubling article from the New York Times from October 9, 2012. If you think the picture of the boy is disturbing, the dead look in his eyes are only the beginning of yet another life destroyed by psychiatric drugs instead of fixing our failing schools. Attention Disorder or Not, Pills to Help in School CANTON, Ga. — When Dr. Michael Anderson hears about his low-income patients struggling in elementary school, he usually gives them a taste of some powerful medicine: Adderall. The pills boost focus and impulse control in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Although A.D.H.D is the diagnosis Dr. Anderson makes, he calls the disorder “made up” and “an excuse” to prescribe the pills to treat what he considers the children’s true ill — poor academic performance in inadequate schools. “I don’t have a whole lot of choice,” said Dr. Anderson, a pediatrician for many poor families in Cherokee County, north of Atlanta. “We’ve decided as a society that it’s too expensive to modify the kid’s environment. So we have to modify the kid.” As the article goes on, we meet several children, including Quintn who suffered from symptoms (adverse reactions) so severe that at only 10 years old, he's locked up and then placed (i.e. forced) onto an antipsychotic. When puberty’s chemical maelstrom began at about 10, though, Quintn got into fights at school because, he said, other children were insulting his mother. The problem was, they were not; Quintn was seeing people and hearing voices that were not there, a rare but recognized side effect of Adderall. After Quintn admitted to being suicidal, Dr. Anderson prescribed a week in a local psychiatric hospital, and a switch to Risperdal. Even after this experience, the crime continues: Despite Quintn’s experience with Adderall, the Rocaforts decided to use it with their 12-year-old daughter, Alexis, and 9-year-old son, Ethan. These children don’t have A.D.H.D., their parents said. The Adderall is merely to help their grades, and because Alexis was, in her father’s words, “a little blah.” This is telling because it's putting the narrative into the parents' hands - "the Rocaforst decided to use it" with their other children. Decided to use it? Really?! I would think the doctor made that decision and scripted the drugs. And what do the doctors conclude? “This is my whole angst about the thing,” Dr. Anderson said. “We put a label on something that isn’t binary — you have it or you don’t. We won’t just say that there is a student who has problems in school, problems at home, and probably, according to the doctor with agreement of the parents, will try medical treatment.” He added, “We might not know the long-term effects, but we do know the short-term costs of school failure, which are real. I am looking to the individual person and where they are right now. I am the doctor for the patient, not for society.” This is such a cop out because we DO know the long-term effects. This is an indication that every pediatrician should be required to read Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic, as well as his website, including this article by Bruce Levine: Is Society or Psychiatry to Blame for the “Seriously Mentally Ill” Dying 25 Years Prematurely? It's both ironic and tragic that as the schools deteriorate, pediatricians take it into their hands to "fix" the situation by destroying the very children they say they are there to help. No, Dr. Anderson, you are not the doctor for society. But you certainly aren't the doctor for the patient, either.
  13. Used Remeron for a couple of months, and was weirdly content at all times, but also zombie/lethargic/sedated, and it increases my adhd symptoms/stops mt adhd meds from working. Meh, ill write more later. Been lurking on this forum after my first taper attemt was to impatiemt, and backfired after 2-3 weeks. Got a sore throat todat, and feeling a bit sick, not sure if it is from tapering or if I'm actually getting a cold. Feel sick from time to time, that is probably due to cutting Remeron from 7,5 mg to half of that. Was on 7,5 (from 15) for 3 or 4 weeks, and it was fine, except that I was still umable to get anything done. A lot of my meds history indicates that I'm a poor metaboliser, and when I read that the antihistamine effect was full even on small doses og Remeron, I dropped to the last dose of 3.75. A little trouble with sleeping, but melatonin helps. Eating got better after adhd meds was increased, cuz now head works better. Im not spaced out. Basically a nuber of symptoms coyld either ve tapering symptoms, or; because reducing remeron might give more room for adhd meds to work, side effects of Vyvanse. After dropping remeron I have washed clothes for the first time in 1 or 2 months. Yay! Meh. Need to have patience. When Remeron tapering is done I need to look on my adhd dose. Writing symptoms & diary is a good idea. Lasted for 2 weeks, perhaps itnwent south when I started with Remeron. Didn't know it blocked histamine receptors, know from experience that antihistamines and ritalin made me so "woosy" I could not walk straight. Yeha, Remeron, and also tapering, messes up my adhd. Big time.just look at this post. Took it to reduce ptsd symptoms, sleep more and eat more. Not having so many triggers now (change of situation), so going to try to use adhd meds alone. Being so sensitive to meds it's not tempting to spend several months trying out something that is likely to give too troublesome side effects. As in not functioning. Want to cook, take out trash and get stuff done, not play app games all day and too litle energy to shower or change a light bulb. I'll sort out my introduction later.
  14. I am making a final decision about getting off antidepressants/stimulants for good. Please help me decide. I am in great need of encouragement and wisdom. It has been about 2 years since I started my journey. But some history: In college (2005) I was started on 20mg Adderall XR to help with ADHD which was said to be causing a lot of anxiety and perhaps depression. Adderall induced depression in me after my dose would wear off, so the doctor prescribed Lexapro 20mg. I felt probably the best I've ever felt in my life. However, I still wanted see who I was without the meds. I wanted to re-connect with parts of me that felt lost. I also never wanted to take brain medications for life. So from 2005 to 2014, I took the drugs and tried maybe 3 different times to get off; never really tapering much like I should have. It never worked and I always ended up back on them, happy, and enthusiastic about life again. I decided to make my final, serious effort to get off the meds in 2014. Happily married, with a good career and social support at this point (and still). I tapered off Adderall XR over the course of at least 4 or 5 months. The primary care doc warned me to get totally off the Adderall first, then deal with the Lexapro. Big mistake. After I was done with the Adderall and just on Lexapro, I was depressed, lethargic, weepy. This went on and got worse, so the Lexapro was replaced with wellbutrin, and I felt better. Over the next year though, I started getting bad anxiety, and had trouble sleeping. 25mg of Zoloft was added in Nov or Dec of 2015, and I got a lot better. Then I began my taper... but not very responsibly, again. Will I ever learn?! Split the Zoloft in half for a few weeks, then stopped it. Waited awhile and the anxiety returned, as well as the sleep problems. Psychiatrist and I agreed that the Wellbutrin must've been exacerbating my anxiety, so suggested I stop it cold turkey. I resisted a little bit, but not enough; I stopped pretty much cold turkey. That was 3 months ago, and here I am, very shaken and having had major issues with anxiety, insomnia, fear, worry, and other issues including the 2nd panic attack I've had in my life. I've worked hard on mindfulness practices over this time. However, my wife and I have agreed that it's time for me to get help again. I started Buspar 2 weeks ago and don't like the side effects. I was given 5mg Adderall XR to try and help as needed. I am planning to get back on meds now... but I don't know which ones because I don't know if I should resign to taking them for the rest of my life or try to taper again. Tapering on Adderall XR and Lexapro will be harder than Wellbutrin and Zoloft was. So I've got a couple options as I see it: 1. Bite the bullet, swallow my pride, and take Adderall and an SSRI for life. Live long and enjoy life; it's too short to keep causing myself this much pain. I truly enjoyed how I felt on Adderall and Lexapro, despite my adamant desire to stay off of them. 2. Own my setbacks and move forward. Take the Wellbutrin and Zoloft again and after 6 months to a year, conduct a true, gradual 10% taper off of each one. If it takes years to be med-free, so be it. Either way, I NEED to get better ASAP; my job feels like it's falling apart, and my wife and son need a capable man in their lives to hold onto. I need myself back. So either way, I plan on getting back on medication(s) (unless you guys can somehow convince me that staying off and risking my work and family life is better). What do you guys think? I've frequently written in my journals that all I want in the whole world is to just be free of these medications. But I could also see myself being happy and feeling great the rest of my life if I just give in and take the combination I used to THRIVE on; Adderall and Lexapro (or another SSRI). And what about the tapering? If I get back on the Wellbutrin (150mg XL) and Zoloft (25mg), wait until I've had some time to recover and enjoy my life and family again (at least 6 months), and then begin with a true, gradual, 10% taper off both medications, do you think I'll still have to deal with crippling anxiety, fear, dread, and insomnia that has plagued my family and I over the past few months? Or do you think that a 10% taper over a series of years will allow me to reach my goal and be medication free, while still being able to enjoy my family and be a good father... I mean, would the taper make my problems significantly easier to cope with? And once I'm fully off the medications, would I still have to deal with the crippling protracted withdrawal? I keep thinking I might still be dealing with increased anxiety from such a long time taking Lexapro. I was never in my life this anxious or stressed by such little things (big things, yes, but not these kinds of things). I ruminate and obsess so much, it kills me. The Adderall helps, but I can't keep taking that if my plan is to get off meds. Any advice would be deeply appreciated. I am open to staying on medication for life if need ends up being. But I'm not in the best state of mind and I've constantly gone back and forth between the two options. Advice will be so much appreciated, encouragement as well. Thank you guys so much for the excellent website you've created.
  15. Hi all, I have been taking Effexor Xr 75mg for about 8 years now. During that time, the cause of my anxiety became known (ADHD-PI) and while Effexor was excellent at controlling my anxiety, I no longer feel I need it now that my ADHD is under control via other medication. Plus the sweat. God the sweat. I sweat if I tie my shoes, I sweat reaching up to brush off the sweat that came from tying my shoes. I am not unfit. I just sweat. All. the. time. It is ruining my life (and my sheets) I cant remember when the sweat started, but my mother is on it, same sweating issue. My aunt recently started it. Never had a sweat problem, now its uncontrollable. I am pretty sure its the Effexor. The problem is, I cant get off it. The manufacturers recommendation to doctors is, 75mg, 37.5mg, 75mg, 37.5mg etc etc for two weeks. Then two weeks of 37.5mg, then 37.5mg, nothing, 37.5mg, nothing etc for two weeks until off. This does not work. The brain zaps and vertigo make life impossible. I took a long break from work to do this and ended up having to go back to the full dose because I wouldnt have been able to go back to work at the end of my leave if I didnt. So. I had an idea to reduce the dose via removing beads, searched how many beads in a capsule and found this site. Hi. What I would love to know first off is... Did anyone else have this sweating problem? Did ending Effexor work to stop it? Has anyone else successfully stopped effexor after being on it as long as I have? Thanks all.
  16. Hi I'm Lauren, I'm 24, and have been on and off meds since I was 18. I was put on 5mg of lexapro at 18, with strattera 70mg for ADD. I was on both for about 2 years, strattera did nothing for me. And I tapered off lexapro slowly after two years with no problems except brain zaps for a few weeks. Depression never came back. I had a baby when I was 21, and came down with post partum depression and was put on Wellbutrin for 2 months. It made me feel crazy, very up and down and much more depressed so I tapered off quite fast, and was fine afterwards. Suffered no real withdrawal. I was then put on adderall xr 10mg twice a day for ADD the end of 2012, it helped my anxiety and my focus immensely, but I then became allergic and stopped December 2013; I was then started on concerta 30mg for about a week, but it made me feel like a zombie, and also became allergic..so my doctor switched me to Vyvanse 30mg, and after 2 months, I am now on vyvanse 50mg and lexapro 10mg. In January this year, I was put back on escitalopram (lexapro) , due to depression and anxiety returning from home issues. I was then upped to 10mg lexapro (actually escitalopram) and began feeling better... Than I felt nothing after about 2 months, and two weeks ago decided I didnt want to be on antidepressants anymore, and started (by myself) alternating my dosages. Huge mistake. I did 5 mg one day, 10mg the next, then 5mg... For only about 5 days. I began to feel VERY depressed and teary and spoke to a friend who uses this site and she told me alternating was very wrong. So deep in depression last week (Wednesday) I drank beer and liquor. Ended up getting too drunk and blacking out very quickly. Quicker than usual. I became erratic, and bumped my head a few times and woke up with a bruise on my head.... Since then, Ive been back on 10mg every day. But have been having headaches since Wednesday, dizziness, listless, depressed, No energy or motivation, and not feeling like myself... Not wanting to converse, I feel out of it, unable to smile.. But this alternates. Two days ago I felt like myself again, and then this comes back. I feel as if Ive been hungover for a week. I am also still on vyvanse, and some days since then, my add meds work and sometimes dont. Today I took my meds like normal, and my vyvanse felt stronger than usual... I just want to feel like myself again. I dont know if this is from drinking with my meds, bumping my head or alternating my dosages for 5 days. Please help. I was fine when it was just me and the vyvanse.
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