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Hi all - new to the forum and very grateful for the members who are walking the path to get off these SSRI. I was always depressed as a child and was prescribed Lexapro in 2003. 2004: Prescribed Cipramil instead of Lexapro after going hypomanic for 6 months, and lamictal to stablise. Got diagnosed with bipolar II... 2014: Came off lamictal with no issues, stablised using a buttload of coconut oil to stablise and a paleo diet. 2004-Dec 2015 - 5mg Cipramil once a day. Noticed that Cipramil stopped working from mid 2015 and decided to stop (only lasted a week) with severe WD symptoms - dizziness, diarraha, flu like symptoms, anxiety, OCD thoughts etc.... 20 Dec 2015 - 2.5mg Cipramil a day hoping to taper by 10% per period, depending on tolerance. Am feeling kinda ambitious and want to go down 10% once a week but will most likely fall on my face, which is fine too. Been doing really well this week - I can feel below my belly button and my sex drive is coming back! Went on a boat and did want to die (One of the side effects was painful sex and really crap at travelling on boats/cars/bus). But am feeling really tired alot and a little dizzy, nothing to write home about. Need some help fro other more experience members with WD.... Q1: A friend of mine is trying to convince to try Kambo - anyone tried this? I am really skeptical and don't think I am up for it as am feeling abit fragile and in addition to being depressed I have fairly constant inflammation (eczema), never mind its like $140 per treatment (!!) http://forums.phoenixrising.me/index.php?threads/from-bedbound-to-fit-and-able-in-14-days-effects-of-the-amazonian-medicine-kambo-on-a-cfs-patient.22952/page-4 Q2: Also read about the prozac bridge which seems like alot less trouble, I am seeing my shrink in January should I ask for this to try? Since I have never even had prozac (I have only ever had SSRIs) so not sure?

Hey everyone, so I decided I'm not going to take my monthly antipsychotic injections anymore. I had it with the side effects and my psychiatrist wasn't supportive to taper me off slowly (he thought I should be on them forever). I know it's not the best decision considering the risks, but I have faith in God and my capability to overcome any side effects. I'm thankful that I didn't face any major withdrawal effects so far (except for whole body soreness for a day or two which was acceptable) and I hope it continues that way. It's almost 2 months from my last injection and the half-life of Invega Sustenna is 25 - 49 days so I definitely crossed it. I don't know if it helped, but I am taking Ratfish liver oil 15 drops twice daily. Now, I wanted to know if it would be a good idea to start taking a natural dopamine/serotonin reuptake inhibitor (Catuaba) to down-regulate my already up-regulated dopamine/serotonin receptors. The reason I suspect they up-regulated is because the Invega I was taking acts as an antagonist at both dopamine and serotonin receptors. I would like to start healing my brain to return to my former intellectual/cognitive state before starting the medication (I suspect I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar to begin with). The extra dopamine could possibly help with the motivation/focus issues as well. Do you think I'd be overloading my brain at this stage? Would the Catuaba cause me to go manic? Any thoughts are welcome (including how to overcome/bounce back/heal after stopping antipsychotics)...

Howdie guys, I’m currently on 300mg of Lamotrigine and 50mg of Quetiapine for bipolar disorder. As I’ve been stable now for 4 years after ongoing psychotherapy and I’ve been told by my GP that I’m on the cusp of pre-diabetes (thanks antipsychotics) and I wish to seize the Seroquel before I even start attempting to diet. Trying to diet on Seroquel is like mopping with the tap open. Yet, no drs will “touch” me, I’ve been hospitalised in the past and am now stuck with a target on my back. My regular psychiatrist keeps pushing that I keep taking them (in fact, he always pushes for more at the tiniest sign of distress) and my GP was a flat “no, you need to do this with your psychiatrist, here have some diet pills”… more pills instead of less doesn’t seem like a long-term solution to me. I’m now afraid that even asking to be switched from the 100mg (that I cut in half) to 50mg tablets is gonna go down like a led balloon, as they’re clued on to what I’m trying to attempt. How did you guys get scripts for this? I get terrible withdrawals even just 36 hrs after I miss a dose; anxiety, vertigo, nausea to the point of retching. Once I forgot to take my meds with me on a long weekend away, it was a nightmare. 48 Hrs in I didn’t sleep at all as I was up to delusional scared of the snakes (in Australia and there were actual snakes in the general area), yet usually don’t struggle with this. Anyway, long story short, would love advice on how to even get drs to assist me with a new script, I don’t know where to turn at the moment. Failing that how do you taper successfully to smaller doses with a still tiny pill? Thanks guys:) Ann

Hi everyone! I am in need of help figuring out how to wean down from my SSRI. Was originally diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder in 2012. Have been off mood stabilizers for several years but still on Lexapro. I don’t believe I actually have BP, just a long history of family stuff and difficulty with changes over the years.

This link is to an interview with The Deputy Director for Safety at the FDA's Division of Psychiatry Products. The FDA's stance is that they determine efficacy but safety is subjective and is largely up to doctor and patient to determine for themselves based on individual circumstances. He went on to state that it is up to the patient to thoroughly research each drug for themselves and that informed consent is basically up to the patient. That pretty much says it all. It also goes on to discuss what is lacking in the studies and the FDA's official response is that their data on withdrawal and long term effects is seriously lacking and needs improvement but that it is very hard to do all of that which is why it doesn't get done. It also states that the drug companies tend to prefer a certain level of ambiguity when it comes to safety. WTH??? 🤬 https://www.theinnercompass.org/blog/are-psychiatric-medications-safe-fdas-answer-may-surprise-you

Hello everyone, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 1 when I was 15. It's been 12 years and I have taken quite a few different medications over those 12 years. I've been up and down but the overall tone has been either having manic episodes or being numbed out. I now often sleep for 12 to 13 hours a day, sometimes more and I feel tired and numb in the head. I have no passion or spark. Last year in 2012 I saw a video on youtube by BipolarorWakingup and it hit me like a lightning bolt. For a few days I felt strange. It awakened a part of me I had completely forgotten and I felt like a part of me had been vindicated. From when I was first diagnosed with the condition, a condition which was triggered by a medication (Paxil) in the first place, I knew that taking medications was wrong and not the solution. I knew it and resisted as long as I could but in the end as a 15 year old, I was forced to take it. And slowly but surely I was convinced by the people in my life, the doctors and the community at large that I had something wrong with me and that I needed to take medications for the rest of my life. Sean Blackwell (BipolarorWakingup) burst open that door and that deep part of me that knows truth said YES, YES this is truth. And since then I've been investigating how to do this, how to taper off. I've been reading quite a few books since then: 1. Am I Bipolar or Waking Up? by Sean Blackwell 2. Spiritual Emergency by Stanislav Grof M.D. and Christina Grof 3. Healing the Split by John E. Nelson. M.D. 4. Kundalini Yoga Meditation Techniques Specific for Psychiatric Disorders, Couples Therapy and Personal Growth by David S. Shannahoff-Khalsa And then a few weeks ago I found out about this website. To see people tapering off medications and succeeding is wonderful beyond words. It is so excellent and I would really appreciate your support in doing this myself. My psychiatrist seemed to be on board with the idea a year ago but I've had about one to two manic episodes in June and it seems that because of those episodes he has changed his mind. He has now relinquished his support in tapering off my meds. I would consider the manic episodes I had to be more like spiritual emergencies since I was much more clear than my previous manic episodes and I was in touch with consensual reality. In the second episode I had learned from the first episode and I even prevented a hospitalization. It's strange because previously he told me if I can get my ego strength high enough I can have a spiritual emergency. I also suggested he read Healing the Split which is written by a psychiatrist who is or was (may be retired) in good standing with the psychiatric community. He agreed to but never did. In any case, he told me I could get a second opinion and I got a referral to another psychiatrist who I am currently waiting to see. In the mean time, if you guys can give me some suggestions on how to taper off my medications I would really appreciate it. This new psychiatrist may say no as well so I might have to do this on my own. I notice there is a tapering off guide here. I was wondering if you guys could offer specific instructions for the particular medications I'm taking. Here are the medications I am currently taking. I have been taking them for about three years. The Olanzapine was increased after my two "manic" episodes from 1.25 mg to 2.5 mg back in June. Once a day at night I take: 1. Lithium Carbonate capsules 900 mg 2. Lamotrigine tablet 100 mg 3. Olanzapine tablet 2.5 mg It also says PMS before and after each drug name on the prescription label. I don't know what that stands for. I don't think it's premenstrual syndrome. Thank you so much. GreenFlameTiger

Hi, I'm new to this site. As far as my background, in 2018, after 25 years of taking Paxil and feeling good and stable, I decided to reduce my dose of 40 mg. down to 20 mg. over the course of three months (May-Aug) as I wanted to get rid of sexual side effects. After some back and forth with the dose, I reduced my dose to 20 mg in August and began to experience bad SSRI withdrawal and particularly intense anxiety. It got so bad I eventually ended going back up to my baseline dose of 40 mg of Paxil but it no longer was working to control my anxiety, etc. In addition, I began to experience a new cyclical mood disorder, whereby I could feel fine for several weeks or a month or more and then I would have an episode where for 7-10 days I would wake up with intense suicidal depression that would generally start lifting a few hours after waking. I have been working with a cadre of psychiatrists and other healthcare providers to get stable again, my anxiety is under control but so far nothing has worked to address this mood disorder which has been diagnosed as an atypical presentation of cyclothymia and which has been life-altering. In addition to reinstating the 40 mgs of Paxil, I am now on Seroquel (300 mg), Lamotrigine (75 mg) and recently started Lithium Carbonate (300 mg). My questions: is it possible that my attempts to go off Paxil (including some back and forth with increasing and then lowering dose) after so many years could have instigated this new mood disorder I'm dealing with?

Original topic title before reducing the length of it: I cold turkey’d too many things, the worst being Celexa, due to misdiagnosis and emotional blunting. I’m struggling. Let me preface this by saying I have had unstable mental health as far back as I can remember. I was an anxious and depressed child. I used to SH as a teenager and was put on Paxil, but I hated it and quit after a couple months. I did not use medication for any mental health reasons for at least 10 years after that. I have been told I’m bipolar by people close to me, and I think doctors eat that up and once you’re branded bipolar, that’s your identity. But that’s neither here nor there; the main takeaway from that is I was put on several different medications and hated the way I felt on all of them. My first return to psych meds was in the summer of 2015 with a diagnosis of GAD which turned into GAD and bipolar 2. I was put on Celexa 20mg. It was pretty good for a while. I was then put on Lamictal 150mg and took both, but the Lamictal made me feel like a zombie so I didn’t take that long. I kept up with the Celexa. After my gastric bypass surgery, the Celexa didn’t work as well. I was then bumped to 40mg and that’s where I stayed. I was starting to feel severely depressed, emotionally numb, and had anxiety creep back in so I was put on Wellbutrin 300mg and buspar 15mg on top of the Celexa. I took this combo for maybe a year but I was horribly noncompliant for the most part and it never really did much for me. I CT’d the buspar and Wellbutrin. I was to a point (and still am) where laughing felt like a chore. Crying is almost non existent unless it is a major sad event (death). Interest in things and smiling are difficult to come by. The only emotion I felt was rage. I was either apathetic or enraged. That’s when I was given the ultimatum to treat my bipolar disorder, as I was often verbally abusive to my SO and would have meltdowns. Jesus this is embarrassing. I finally gave in and started seeing a psych through telehealth. Big mistake, told them about my previous dx. That was enough to not even evaluate me, and I was started on some antipsychotics in addition to the Celexa. This was the beginning of a long spiral of multiple medications that ended with Latuda that made me so depressed I cried constantly. There was no tapering involved really, maybe just a two week period of dropping while introducing something else. I went through Abilify, Trileptal, Latuda, Abilify again, and Lamictal. My brain felt so fried at this point I said I’m done, and stopped taking everything except my Celexa. After stopping all of these meds I was so far depressed and anhedonic I decided I was done taking everything and needed a brain reset. I ended up taking 10mg Celexa a few weeks and then dropped to nothing after 6.5 years. After reading this forum, I realized this was probably one of my big mistakes. Now not only did I have severe mood disturbances, I felt physically sick. The physical symptoms went away after a few weeks. The last time I took Celexa was at the end of February this year. Now I am dealing with a whole host of other issues. It turns out I’m not bipolar, I have ADHD. Again, not knowing any better that I shouldn’t take anything that alters my brain, I’ve been on stimulants and back to Wellbutrin. NOTHING is helping. The anhedonia and apathy are killing me. I feel no emotion towards anyone. I am not interested in anything. Every moment is painful. ADHD meds are doing nothing for me. I guess I am looking for support. Advice. Anything. Something that tells me my brain damage isn’t permanent. Something that tells me I will feel emotions again, that I won’t think my favorite past times are a waste of time, that I will feel love towards my SO and family again. I felt emotional blunting with Celexa, but nothing like this. I don’t know what to do, and my doctor is useless when it comes to this.

I have been here before. I had my first manic episode after a steroid psychosis while withdrawing from Zoloft. After going off meds I had one again about a year later. I was medicated but always following an episode comes a great depression, a great worry about life and a disappearance of personality. Has anyone experienced this? I was manic and had to be medicated. I have a energy healer that works with me and says for now I must be on them. Its the path. I am totally unstable. But I would love some support from others that have gone through this pattern. I feel so alone.

Two months ago I was diagnosed bipolar and I've been on quetiapine (Seroquel) for 3 weeks, I'm about to leave it so I'll reduce the dose from 50 mg to 25 ¿What's gonna happen to me? ¿Will I'll be the same? ¿The side effects last forever?

Hello - I am about 7 days off of Cymbalta. I was only taking and only able to tolerate 20 mg and I slowly cut myself down to 10mg and then nothing. I get a few head swishes here and there, but nothing really bad expect I am severely up and down mood wise and fear I am going to end up in a psych ward. I was starting to feel like things were going to be ok and then I crashed hard. I've been on various psych meds for the last 30 years of my life and I just turned 47 and I've had enough of it all. I consulted a neuropsych who is an ECT doctor. My regular psych sent a referall to him from another state as I came to stay wtih my mother for a while to get some other health issues sorted out. His suggestion, since when I went there, I was in a better mood and thought my spring to mid-summer severe depressive episode was lifting or was going to lift, was to come off of cymbalta and see if I don't feel better. He said they are finding out these meds do a lot more than they thought and that they might not even be able to call them "seratonin reuptake inhibitors" anymore. He said some people do a lot worse on them over time. Well, I am doing worse yet and yet I don't want to go back on the stuff at all. I am really struggling. I have also been off of Adderall since the begining of July and felt better off due to not taking that, but now this added Cymbalta thing is throwing me for a loop. I am trying to figure out whether I should call the neuropsych back up and request ECT for sure and cancel a vacation with my family in September, or not. I am a 5 x a week yoga practicitioner, I meditate, I eat right, I do all kinds of things - been getting out socially, ect. and STILL I am plagued with severe bone crushing depression episodes that are causing me severe headaches of the type I cannot stand another minute of it. The depression headaches are so bad they don't even respond to migraine medication. They are different. Something is really wrong with my brain and I am scared I am going to not be able to handle it one day and commit suicide. I've had an MRI for the other regular migraines I get and they say it is all clear. Sometimes I feel like I spend all day trying to figure out what will make feel better - yoga, meditation, work, get out with someone, get out in nature - and still by the end of the day I end up in tears feeling suicidal. Is this par for the course? I am hoping someone can relate and let me know it gets better. I am so confused. I don't really think intuitively that my depression is going to get that much better and I should just call that neuropsych back and try to get ECT started. Things have been taking so damn long lately to get the help I need with doctors and that is frustrating too. Thank you.

After 48 yrs of slavery to the great and seemingly immortal god, zoloft and its minions I have been given the unsuspected privilege of saying goodbye to my bipolar illness. You don't have an understanding of what that means.

Hello all! I feel very happy to have found this place today! I am a 49 year old guy, single, not because of lack of women but because of the difficulty to keep a relation besides of being chemically castrated by psychiatric medications for 35 years in a row. Before dealing with my mental issues I was a very healthy guy, loved sports, had excellent grades and was very sociable and happy. I come from a very dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father and a sex offender neighbor who abused me many times but I never told anyone. At that time of my life I could not realize that I had been traumatized by the sexual assaults of my neighbor, but because of a change in behavior, my mother knew something was going on with me. So she decided to take me to a Pediatric Psychiatrist and the Pandora's box jut opened. I was a living trauma and for the first time in my life I was medicated. It has been 35 years without having a normal, enjoyable life My whole health decayed big time in many aspects. During treatments I developed: diabetes, hypercholesterol, hypertriglyceridemia, cardiovascular disease, whole body nerve damage, fibromyalgia, darkening and peeling of the skin in my legs, burning tongue syndrome, impotence and harsh tooth decay. I could be a 49 year old man but specialist doctors tell me that I am a high risk patient and that the situation of my physical health is the same as of an 85 year old man and that with all my health conditions, I could die anytime. It wasn't til last week that I decided to put an end to all of this, no matter how. I have used any single psychotropic medication, the old and the new and all of them are really bad for you but the FDA and the Big Pharma Industry want your money and will try you to keep on consuming their products. They don' really care if you feel good or not at all. I was feeling miserable, lying on bed for weeks because my body pains were so severe that I could not barely walk. Then, one day I started a research on psychiatric medications side effects in detail and I could relate to my state of physical health. So I made another research on how to withdraw from psychiatric medications but using natural supplements and that information has helped me big time. My current cocktail last week was Depakote 2,000mg Seroquel 800mg Efexxor 225mg Xanax 6mg Ambien 10mg Adderall XR 60mg Neurontin 1,600mg Estazolam 4mg I made a research of every single one, selected the hardest to eliminate, and decreased their dosages. Right now I am taking: Depakote 200mg Seroquel 200mg Efexxor 75mg Xanax 4mg Ambien 10mg Adderall XR 30mg Neurontin and Estazolam are history. It feels like kind of hell but this is my goal and I know I can accomplish it and at the end I will have the kind of life that I deserve. For next week I will keep on reducing dosages and going into "full time " natural supplementation with: Vitamin D, Chelated Magnesium, Turmeric, L-Carnitine, Vitamin E, Fish Oil, Vitamin C 1,000, Garlic, Ginckgo Biloba, Coenzime Q10, Flavonoids, Copper, Alpha LipoicAcid, B Complex and B-12 separately. Do your research for your own good. You were not born with all those meds and undesirable side effects, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! The information I posted is based on my own opinions and experiences and in NO way I instruct you to do the same, I just think that my history may inspire you in making things the better for you. Many blessings to all, HEMARO

Here I am, lost and Confused as usual... I was mean to the one I love and scared him away to sleep on the couch... how many more times will he be able to take my emotions? Luckily, we don't have a kid - but we do have a kitty. I am in love with my little family and the world is so harsh... I am not from here. I am from another province full of energy pillpoppers and alcoholism and cold-hearted humans. This province was opportunity to escape, and I needed it. Sometimes I get scared that I cannot escape my problems again and I want the pain to go away. I want to start over... all the time. I was too old to be adopted, but accepted into a family still. I was given a voice, but I used it to disagree. Surely I am an adult, and I should be treated like one. It is always money and no one else wants to be wrong when I'm around. I am kind. I am honest. I am an animal lover. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed and I don't hurt anyone if I can help it. Why am I the easiest one to blame? I can take abuse, but never the emotional kind... please don't raise your voice or yell. My new mom was so quick to put me on drugs to mold me into her perfect doctor. Surely I gained weight when I moved out, because I stopped having constant meals and money was a problem. It was the first time I stopped consistently taking my drugs. No one ever told me how to take them properly, and I've yet to take them at the same time until recently. I'm unsure what to do with my iron pills, but they seem to be the only ones helping. Maybe there is a reason I bought Omega 3 Fish oils and vitamins. I am a pale-skin colour-sensitive woman with major PTSD from childhood trauma... I finally removed my mother from my life - but the other snakes slowly replace her. I was never checked up on as a child, I never knew what normal was. I was never anorexic but I don't remember eating because my mother told me we were both picky. I have terrible teeth, and I'm overweight. I cut all my hair off because I make impulsive decisions... but it's growing back healthier! Just not fast enough. I've lost another job. This is the first one that got rid of me. I called in sick in my probationary period, because I was withdrawing.... And I have no help.... I don't want to go to the doctor anymore. I was free of pills and almost maybe doing okay but Effexor found its way??? And I've never felt the pain of trying to quit until now.. Hot and colds and puking all over the floor... financial issues are a big thing and my man cannot do it alone but I have no money and we are slowly diminishing. I don't want to eat when there is food, just so it'll last a bit longer... I need help but everyone is so damn quick to put the pills back in my mouth and make sure they're swallowed. I am probably a hereditary bipolar... if I would have been helped I might have done better. I started smoking a bit more pot and it gave me the confidence I needed to do research and learn... sometimes I try too hard to put together pieces of puzzles I don't understand and I start to sound crazy to anyone looking to listen or judge... I'm on my period and I'm practically anemic, so the withdraws are definitely just the cherry on top aren't they? I do my best late at night... I forgot to take a pill to wean myself off of and it was so bad. The last few days I took 3 then took the risk of 2 but managed to take 1 and live... maybe I can handle the pains if I sleep more. I don't feel like I have a reason to live, so maybe sleeping will help me catch up. I'm hungry.... I didn't think I'd write this much... or anything at all. I am thankful for this forum... thankful so many can submit stories to compare. I was an ugly child, but I was somewhat smarter than most when it came to random things. I think the fact there were too many people in the room made it harder to learn. It's hard to be a tomboy and a partial nerd when the boys want to touch you. When did becoming promiscuous get so easy? If I could take it all back, I would have stayed smart... but there were too many distractions. I think the drugs helped me even hear better and that made them so easy to take. Maybe the absence of them will influence a loss in this extra 40 pounds I carry. Maybe all of my problems were unknown withdraws from each and every new miracle drug. I smoke my weed to help me remember... I know some may disagree - but I am already damaged and I only reap the benefits. The ability to feel hunger... I only feel it when I'm starving and it's too late. Where do I go from here? I've been checked into the psychward as an adolescent many moons ago... I'm in my 20s and I don't want to be stuck there, and without my little kitty. He purrs when I cry, and makes everything okay. I even considered joining the army because I didn't mind dying, but I could never survive the time away. I think I will be okay in time... I hope it doesn't get too hard. I haven't taken any specific pill consistently, so I'm unsure of what to compare - and the doctor doesn't even know what she's giving me anymore. Oh. You're hurting? There's a drug for that. Let me write you something. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening... Good vibes only, please. I used to be so quick to judge and assume people want to yell DEPRESSED because it's trendy... when the 20 something years of pain is something I'd never wish on my worst enemy... I know the difference now, and all I want to do is help people. My problem is all I do is help everyone else and I'm left to pick up my own pieces that I didn't know were missing in the process.

Here I am, lost and Confused as usual... I was mean to the one I love and scared him away to sleep on the couch... how many more times will he be able to take my emotions? Luckily, we don't have a kid - but we do have a kitty. I am in love with my little family and the world is so harsh... I am not from here. I am from another province full of energy pillpoppers and alcoholism and cold-hearted humans. This province was opportunity to escape, and I needed it. Sometimes I get scared that I cannot escape my problems again and I want the pain to go away. I want to start over... all the time. I was too old to be adopted, but accepted into a family still. I was given a voice, but I used it to disagree. Surely I am an adult, and I should be treated like one. It is always money and no one else wants to be wrong when I'm around. I am kind. I am honest. I am an animal lover. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed and I don't hurt anyone if I can help it. Why am I the easiest one to blame? I can take abuse, but never the emotional kind... please don't raise your voice or yell. My new mom was so quick to put me on drugs to mold me into her perfect doctor. Surely I gained weight when I moved out, because I stopped having constant meals and money was a problem. It was the first time I stopped consistently taking my drugs. No one ever told me how to take them properly, and I've yet to take them at the same time until recently. I'm unsure what to do with my iron pills, but they seem to be the only ones helping. Maybe there is a reason I bought Omega 3 Fish oils and vitamins. I am a pale-skin colour-sensitive woman with major PTSD from childhood trauma... I finally removed my mother from my life - but the other snakes slowly replace her. I was never checked up on as a child, I never knew what normal was. I was never anorexic but I don't remember eating because my mother told me we were both picky. I have terrible teeth, and I'm overweight. I cut all my hair off because I make impulsive decisions... but it's growing back healthier! Just not fast enough. I've lost another job. This is the first one that got rid of me. I called in sick in my probationary period, because I was withdrawing.... And I have no help.... I don't want to go to the doctor anymore. I was free of pills and almost maybe doing okay but Effexor found its way??? And I've never felt the pain of trying to quit until now.. Hot and colds and puking all over the floor... financial issues are a big thing and my man cannot do it alone but I have no money and we are slowly diminishing. I don't want to eat when there is food, just so it'll last a bit longer... I need help but everyone is so damn quick to put the pills back in my mouth and make sure they're swallowed. I am probably a hereditary bipolar... if I would have been helped I might have done better. I started smoking a bit more pot and it gave me the confidence I needed to do research and learn... sometimes I try too hard to put together pieces of puzzles I don't understand and I start to sound crazy to anyone looking to listen or judge... I'm on my period and I'm practically anemic, so the withdraws are definitely just the cherry on top aren't they? I do my best late at night... I forgot to take a pill to wean myself off of and it was so bad. The last few days I took 3 then took the risk of 2 but managed to take 1 and live... maybe I can handle the pains if I sleep more. I don't feel like I have a reason to live, so maybe sleeping will help me catch up. I'm hungry.... I didn't think I'd write this much... or anything at all. I am thankful for this forum... thankful so many can submit stories to compare. I was an ugly child, but I was somewhat smarter than most when it came to random things. I think the fact there were too many people in the room made it harder to learn. It's hard to be a tomboy and a partial nerd when the boys want to touch you. When did becoming promiscuous get so easy? If I could take it all back, I would have stayed smart... but there were too many distractions. I think the drugs helped me even hear better and that made them so easy to take. Maybe the absence of them will influence a loss in this extra 40 pounds I carry. Maybe all of my problems were unknown withdraws from each and every new miracle drug. I smoke my weed to help me remember... I know some may disagree - but I am already damaged and I only reap the benefits. The ability to feel hunger... I only feel it when I'm starving and it's too late. Where do I go from here? I've been checked into the psychward as an adolescent many moons ago... I'm in my 20s and I don't want to be stuck there, and without my little kitty. He purrs when I cry, and makes everything okay. I even considered joining the army because I didn't mind dying, but I could never survive the time away. I think I will be okay in time... I hope it doesn't get too hard. I haven't taken any specific pill consistently, so I'm unsure of what to compare - and the doctor doesn't even know what she's giving me anymore. Oh. You're hurting? There's a drug for that. Let me write you something. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening... Good vibes only, please. I used to be so quick to judge and assume people want to yell DEPRESSED because it's trendy... when the 20 something years of pain is something I'd never wish on my worst enemy... I know the difference now, and all I want to do is help people. My problem is all I do is help everyone else and I'm left to pick up my own pieces that I didn't know were missing in the process.

Hi there! i just joined after going down the google rabbit hole of searching Gabapentin withdrawal. I’m currently trying to come off the Gabapentin and propranolol as I am wanting to become pregnant. I’ve been able to get my dosage down to half for both but am now feeling it’s effects. I’m crying and lethargic and my legs ache when I’m in bed. I also feel like I have a cold or brain fog. I meet with my doctor Friday and hoping he will prescribe me 100mg Gabapentin so I can taper even slower now. But a huge part of me just wants to stop to get it out of my system! When do I start magnesium by the way? Thanks for listening 🙂

In hindsight, I realize that I have been challenged most of my life with manic depression, little manic euphoria. I also now see the mental health issues which re-appear throughout my father's side of the family. Suddenly when I was in my mid 40's I started experiencing manic euphoric episodes.I was Baker Acted, mis-diagnosed, had another attack, hospitalized, forced to resign from a lucrative career that was the love of my life. In 2008 was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.( I have been at or below the poverty line since with the work I have been able to perform.) I was prescribed Zypreza and started a long depressed state, lethargic, and weight gain of at least 70 lbs. I was weaned off Zyprexa and have since been prescribed over different times drugs such as Celexa, Saphris, Artane, and Lamotrigine. As I was being taken off Zyprexa, my mood lifted, the weight started coming off but the movement disorder had already started in my face. Initially it was diagnosed by my doctor as tardive dyskinesia. The symptoms have continued to worsen to a now debilitating condition. As recent as yesterday, a new doctor, a neurologist thinks the condition is best defined , diagnosed as dystonia. In any event, the outlook is the same, no known cure. I never in a million years thought I would be so disabled and unable to provide for myself and others. But beside all these recent challenges, my weight is well managed, my spirits are good, my faith is strong. I know who I am. I just wish my body would cooperate!! I am going through the disability process now and as of the end of the month, I will lose my health insurance benefits through my last employer.

Hey guys! I was diagnosed with autism (then eventually PDD nos), bipolar, GAD (generalized anxiety) and fibromyalgia. I have been on anti-depressants since I was 9 and stopped them almost a year ago at age 21. I was on sleeping pills from age 6-20. I also was on like 12 prescribed pain pills because my pain was so bad from age 17-21. I had bad withdrawls from everything (I got my doctor's guidance to safely taper). Turns out my fibro pain that caused me to be unable to barely walk for 4 years was being caused my Abilify pill. I now have no symptoms of any of these things I was diagnosed with. I took 7 years to finish high school because of my anxiety and agoraphobia. The pills seemed to make everything worse because without them I am now I'm full-time university which I never dreamed I could do. It's really hard for me because I wonder if all those years of suffering (especially with my pain and anxiety) were caused by the pills. Anyone have any experience with this?

I'm a 32 year old bipolar female. Ive been on medication since I was 15 years old. I've been on Lexapro the longest. I've been on far more medication than I can remember and I was a vegetable for about 5 years as a teenager due to being put on way too many heavy meds before my family caught on to it and we switched to a new psychiatrist. I lost my charts from age 15 to the age of about 25 when I moved about 6 years ago so I don't have information of a very good memory of my past medications. I know Topamax was very bad for me as well as Wellbutrin, which gave me very bad sleep paralysis and nightmares. I wanted to go off Abilify due to foreseen expenses at changing insurance so I brought this to the attention of my doctor. He didn't lower my Abilify but proceeded to up my dose of Lamictal quickly while halving my Lexapro and then I was pulled off after a week. He also slightly increased my Abilify from 5 to 7.5 to 10 mg. All this happening at once seemed strange and I thought i trusted someone finally with my medications management. I have an IUD as well that was recently put in after my old one was taken out after 5 years. It doesn't help that I am now getting 2 periods a month while I already have severe depression related to my cycle. I am suicidal right now, so I called my psychiatrist to get an appointment or up my Lexapro and try again but he was unreachable. The first two days of going off the lexapro I felt really good. Then I got manic and couldn't sleep for about a month. Cycling between severe anger/anxiety and the worst depression. I told my doctor in my last appointment i thought it was because I got my period during the withdrawal and I needed it fixed before my next one. He upped my Lamictal again by 50mg. He says he wants me on 200mg of Lamictal by the end of the changes. Then have my period again after one week off. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep at night and I wake up worrying immediately. Panic attacks every night. The only thing that helps me relax at night is repeating "I'll be dead soon" in my head because thoughts about the future are tearing me apart. I'm taking Buspar every night and morning and then I need sometimes two more in the day to cover up panic attacks. I have a supportive environment. I know it cannot be easy for them. I was googling information to figure out what could be going on with me. I'm extremely fatigued the last two days. I thought I might have autism my memory and attention span has decreased but it was bad before, too. It's not that I am not trying to listen but I pretty much have always only heard half of what people say. My mind wanders really badly. So I work around it with patterns and filling in between the lines so I can meet day to day functioning. But since that's something unrelated, it seems, to the Lexapro withdrawal, it's not needed. It's just something I am just realizing, so I mentioned it. I have no job right now. I really would like to work and need the money but I'm not able to "human" right now. One thing that does help, is I like to write and paint and it is not effected by the depression/mood swings/cycling/whatever and my husband and friends are being super supportive. I found a local therapist today and have set up an appointment so hopefully that will help. I am considered disabled as I was put on SSI for bipolar and I have a piddling work history. Im still trying to fix that. I am also diagnosed recently with Borderline Personality Disorder, but my therapist said, before she left the group I go to, she doesn't think I have it. I wasn't even told. I just looked at my check out sheet one day and it was added at the top as a new diagnosis in the header. I found this site and I realized that it must be the withdrawal from Lexapro causing this problem. It gives me some hope that maybe it will get better. Thank you for making this site. It must take a lot of work.

I am looking forward to hearing from everyone who is or has gone down the road I am on. I have bipolar disorder. I was on lithium until about five years ago when it was discovered that I had 50% kidney function. I was put on quetiapine but have developed unbearable side effects. I have muscle spasms, drooling, swollen tongue, and my granddaughter started copying me clicking my mouth. I have had terrible constipation for a while but thought it was due to my diet and lifestyle until I sarted researching antipsychotic meds. This part is embarrassing but I did not know I was on an antipsychotic. I assumed it was an anti-convulsant. It just never dawned on me that my psych doc would put me on an antipsychotic. Now that I have done my research I am scared and confused. My psych doc suggested I try Tegretol after going off quetiapine. She wants me to go off quetiapine completely first to see what the "baseline" is as far as the side effects go. Now that I looked into the side effects I am afraid of all of these drugs. I am also afraid of not being medicated. I have been a compliant patient until now. Now I am just lost.

https://www.madinamerica.com/2016/11/frenzy-lobbying-21st-century-cures/ “A Frenzy Of Lobbying On 21st Century Cures” Kaiser Health News and NPR report on the immense lobbying effort aimed at passing the "21st Century Cures" Act which would fast-track FDA approval of drugs and devices. "The 21st Century Cures Act set for a House vote Wednesday is one of the most-lobbied health care bills in recent history, with nearly three lobbyists working for its passage or defeat for every member on Capitol Hill. More than 1,455 lobbyists representing 400 companies, universities and other organizations pushed for or against an earlier House version of a Cures bill this congressional cycle, according to federal disclosure forms compiled by the Center for Responsive Politics. A compromise version was released over the holiday weekend." More at above link, including comments on how to oppose the bill.

I'm 32 with no prior history of mental health problems. I had a manic and psychotic episode in late May of 2015 after to weeks of starting CPAP therapy for severe sleep apnea. I take a cab to my hometown and admit myself to the hospital because I'm freaked out by my behaviour and my feelings, and after being evaluated I'm given seroquel (25 mg 2x day) and risperidone (2 mg before bed) and end up staying at the psychiatric ward for 5 weeks. After leaving the hospital, I suddenly have no libido and significant fogginess and anhedonia. I get off seroquel and get prescribed lithium (450 mg initially, later 600 mg) because I can't stay awake on the seroquel. I quit the risperidone and then the lithium because I can't take being a fat, bored, pill-dependent zombie. I'm struggling with the risperidone withdrawl, but I'm able to work full time, I'm gradually getting less bored and anxious, and my libido is starting to come back. (I seldom have acute sexual desire, but I'm actually able to get an erection and to get myself off when I make the effort to fantasize about stuff that turns me on, whereas I went weeks without bring able to have an erection or, naturally, to orgasm while I was gullibly poisioning myself with risperidone) I'm just very frustrated that I was never advised that risperidone had such nasty side effects, but I did go from being manic and euphoric to pretty well losing touch with reality. I think I had a dopamine overload because the CPAP therapy improved my sleep and my energy level so incredibly that it felt like a bloody miracle. I started feeling like I was on ecstasy or on a good crystal meth trip or something (wouldn't know...I've only had booze and pot, but based on what I've read...). I felt this incredible euphoria and sense of empathy, and I was writing political rhetoric and coming up with grandiose idea to make the world a better place and to make my place of employment kick butt, but then I lost touch with reality, destroyed some possessions, and blew $200 on a cab ride. Anyways, I just want to be happy again. I want to take pleasure in the stuff that I used to like before all this happened, I want to lose weight and get myself in shape (making process on this front...But I suppose when your BMI is 40, you can lose weight even when lithium and risperidone are dragging you down), I want to fall in love with my job and with my ideals again, I want to be a better version of the person that I was before I got treatment for my sleep apnea. I know it's not the CPAP therapy that does that to me. All it does is ensure that I can breath when I sleep. Common sense dictates that when you stop breathing 100 times an hour and keep waking up and failing to reach REM sleep and spending your days micro-napping, you obviously need medical addition It's dealing with the fact that I experienced something very similar to drug-induced psychosis for what I assume was a dopamine overload, hallucinated the second coming of Jesus Christ while I was psychotic, was surrounded by people with delusional beliefs when I was at the psychiatric ward that fed into the craziness, and then, because of the hallucinations and the religious delusions prior to my coming to grips with the risperidone side-effects, thought I was in Hell. In reality, the anhedonia, the anxiety, and the libido problems were just consequences of my having to deal deal with one of Satan's poisons here on Earth: risperidone. I wish everyone peace, love, happiness, fulfilment, freedom from psychiatry, and awesome sex! And please let and every one of us get better!

Hey all! I am very pleased to have found this, what looks to be like a very well kept and informative supportive site . I have been within the mental health system for 16 years now, and it feels like my life revolves around it. I am beginning to see that I really need to step away assertively from my doctors and social worker to have greater independance and sense of identity. I have been on Olanzapine and Epilum Chrono, or Sodium Valporate for all this time and I really want to go without soon. I won't do so until I know i'm fully prepared and ready, but I feel like I'm getting there which is great.I hope that my doctor complies with my wish when it comes to it. I look forward to meeting some of you and sharing in stories and gaining and giving support. :-)

I have been on medication for over ten years. Initially just antidepressants at first but then I was diagnosed bipolar so mood stabilisers and antipsychotics were also thrown in the mix. I decided to try to self manage a couple of months ago and my psychiatrist was not happy about it. She insisted my mother came with to my next appointment (I'm 33!) Coming off the mirtazapine was pain free with no withdrawal effects. The next step is the lamotrigine. I am slightly concerned as I have read about people doing incredibly slow tapers but at my appointment today she said to reduce from 400mg (200mg twice a day) to 300mg. To then stick with that for two months and then to go back and review. Is this too quick?

I'm Hannah. I was diagnosed with Bipolar1 1.5 years ago when I suffered a psychotic break after serious trauma. I was hospitalized and put on two medications; Tegretol and Risperdal. I stayed on Risperdal for a year and have just weened off the Tegretol. And have been off it for 3 weeks now. I hope I am not alone in my experience of severe anhedonia with the start of these medications. I have lost all emotion. I have been functioning as a zombie for the past year and a half. I feel no joy, love, hope... nothing but flattness. Four months ago my prescriber took me off the Risperdal. I regained some mental clarity and personality after stopping it but had no return of emotion. I am currently taking 200mg of Seraquil, and no other medications for my illness. I am an artist and scientist. I have lost all my passion and heart for my work. I am losing hope and I fear greatly that I am damaged permanently. I don't know what to do from here... All I can do is wait. Does anyone have any advice? Similar stories? Anything helps. I want my life back.I am so afraid this is permanent.