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  1. First of all, Thank God for this forum. Thank everyone, the admins especially, for doing such a great job helping people out. About me - On ADs since 2003 for mild anxiety. I went with the hope of getting some oral counseling but ended up being prescribed medicines. Never knew the seriousness of what I was getting into, but before I knew, months turned into years and now its 13 years. Medicines changed, doctors changed but my overall health and wellbeing is severely compromised in the deal. Main complaints – tinnitus since 2008 when doctor weaned me too abruptly, vertigo, light headedness, drowsiness, fatigue, low energy. Medicine history Paroxetene 25mg 2003-2007 Escitalopram 10mg 2007-2008 Mid 2008, wanted to get away from medicines. Doc did a quick taper from 10mg to 5mg and stopped in a short time. Within 2 weeks from stopping I had severe tinnitus, forcing me to get back to meds. But tinnitus persists to this day. Doctor shied away saying this had nothing to do with meds. 2009-2011 Combination of Escitalopram 10mg + Clonazepam 0.5 mg 2011-2015 Paroxetene 25mg + Clonazepam 0.25mg Feb 2015 Desvenlafaxine 50mg, reduced Paroxetene to 12.5mg, Clonazepam 0.25mg Apr 2015 Desvenlafaxine 50mg, twice daily, stopped Paroxetene, continued Clonazepam 0.25mg Sep 2015 Desvenlafaxine 50mg, twice daily, started very slow tapering of Clonazepam .25mg on my own. Currently (Feb 2016) in the 6th month of tapering and on 1/16th of 0.25. (Went against doctor's suggestion to take Clonazepam on alternate days for 10 days and stop) Clonazepam taper schedule followed: 0.25 mg on alternate days for 6 weeks 1/2 of 0.25 (=0.125mg) on alternate days for 6 weeks 1/4th of 0.25 (=0.0625mg) on alternate days for 6 weeks 1/8th of 0.25 (=0.03125mg) on alternate days for 6 weeks 1/16th of 0.25mg (=0.015625mg) on alternate days since past 2 weeks, still continuing. Plan to drop further and stop in a few weeks. During the course of tapering, my tinnitus has absolutely worsened, feeling more imbalanced and dizzy. I have also developed mild pain in the neck and shoulders since a month. I googled and found that this is also related to the tapering. After stopping Clonazepam I plan to start tapering Desvenlafaxine 50mg (twice). I saw this wonderful post from MogFish which talks about dry cutting the pill despite warnings (She was on 50mg) and tapering over a period of 14 months. I am planning to do the same. Before starting the whole process I am planning to take Ayurveda medicines. I have consulted a doctor and he has given me a prescription which looks quite promising. I am hoping Ayurveda will support me through the withdrawal of Desvenlafaxine. I found Desvenlafaxine 25mg is available and that is going to be of great help in the taper I hope.
  2. Hello everyone. I'm very, very grateful to have found this site before I found my way back to a secluded ledge at the Grand Canyon I found four years ago with my now ex-wife. The ledge had no appeal then, but has come up repeatedly during rough periods. I just found this site and I just came to understand just how extensive and pervasive my WD symptoms have become. They did not really start to become that active until 5 months ago. Now they rage. I have to laugh and cry at the same time because currently I am living in a travel trailer and I have no idea where my next stop or step is going to be. 5 months ago I sold my condo, closed my art business, ended an engagement, bought a travel trailer, and have been staying with a friend in rural VA. Now I'm in Phoenix, AZ. Several times in the last 3 months I have tried to start over by making decisions and implementing a plan of action for work and living arrangements and have been unable to follow through with even the beginnings of restabalizing my life situation. Once I start to initiate changes to my situation, violently intense emotions begin to arise and my ability to think clearly falls away. I abandon the plan and fall back. Strangely, in the midst of this pattern, I have been in some intense therapy sessions, uncovered and addressed some deep wounded issues from my past that I'm sure were being masked by the meds. I had a 7 week period recently during the therapy where every day was filled with almost nonstop continuous waves of shame, sadness, and some rage (all I believe being old repressed and masked emotions but probably way more intense from WD or is it the sum total of repressed emotions finally getting out). It's like I'm split at times with two completely different personalities with two completely different agendas. I just read the posts about neuro emotions and realized I have been experiencing them intensely. They have been running my life since I become abstinent. There is a lot of intense healing going on inside me physically and emotionally, and I didn't realize just how deep it goes. I am not the same person anymore and it frightens and excites me at the same time. It's like a spiritual journey through hell. I feel at times very peaceful and supported by the universe and at times like a want to die. I will stop there and ask for the wisdom of the forum for what I have posted. I am a sponge for your help now. Thank you!! Mark
  3. Hi everyone, I’m Lost Woods from PP, changed to LostInTheWoods because it makes more sense, although for calling out names I guess you could abreviate LitW. A reintroduction may follow. I’m 30 years old and I’m male. Introverted and with a tendency to worry too much about things the average person may not find important. Although having little escoliosis and a deviated nasal septum since I can remember, overall I was doing fine in the health department, far from clinics and pharmacies. I had some minor dizziness periods about three years ago, but they faded. Two years ago is when everything started. A job crisis filled me with fear of both losing my job in a moment I couldn’t afford to stay unemployed. Naturally, I was anxious a lot of the time: however, the crisis passed, nothing bad happened but I could no longer shut down the anxiety in my body, even if I knew there was nothing to worry about. It started to bring somatic symptoms to the point I suspected I was physically ill. Made some blood tests and came out “disappointed” that there was nothing wrong with them even if I didn’t feel healthy. Sleep was getting shorter until one night I got only two hours and a panic attack. The rest of the story is well known: I got directed to a psychiatrist and he put me on 20 mg Paxil and Clonazepam for a short time. It got me to sleep better and I was calm enough to not worry about the initial side effects, which were minor and I was informed about them. My first attempt to leave clonazepam was a failure, but the second attempt was successful: I only lasted two months under benzos. After that period of stabilization, I got to experiment the dream: far less worrisome as before, active through all the day with the sensation of a clear mind and even getting more extroverted, might have been a little hypomania. However, it didn’t last forever and eventually I was descending into this state where you couldn’t care about anyone or anything, a state I know wasn’t good overall, and decided to withdraw. Detailed notes and history of taper are lost even to me. I went the way down from 20 mg down to 5 mg there were bad days when I couldn’t concentrate and could only stare at the screen like a zombie, days when anxiety could surge out of nowhere or days where sleep tooks hours to happen since the moment I was laying on bed, days where some odd pain in a part of the body it didn’t used to hurt appeard with no apparent explanation. However, I never wished to reinstate and after stabilizing and keep the tapering off. After a few weeks on 5 mg, cutting the pills became difficult and my daily dose of paroxetine was more irregular. To my dismay, absolutely no drugstore in my town sells liquid paroxetine! I got those weird looks from the employees as I were looking for some martian medicine. I got desperate, feeling no difference whether I took the paroxetine or not and CT from there, without wanting to look back. This was 6 months ago. I’ll leave details of these last months symptoms for another post where I’ll look for advice. Right now I feel old, with less vitality than before. Back in the day I thought that the aging process with be very gradual and slow, and that I could lead a ordinary life in the 30-40 decade with little decrease on mental and physical energy. Instead, I feel as if I had been cursed with a sudden aging spell that left me with little will to do plans with my life and move forward. I know I must do it but lacking the spirit to do it, it is hard to try. As others, I’m mad that drugs like the SSRIs exist, with little knowledge about how they work at the biological level and with the potential to screw the whole organism, feet to head, in ways no one can predict and leave everyone guessing, with some statistics thrown there to pretend there’s knowledge. But getting mad for the sole sake of it leads nowhere, and I’m completely oriented to getting personal and concrete courses of action. Hello everyone here and also previous PP posters. As I said there, forums like these have very good people and quality and I respect them a lot. Hopefully I can add something as well.
  4. Hi all, here is my story. I started with dizziness about 10 months ago. My doctor thought it was Vestibular migraine and put me on Celexa 20 mg for two months. Did nothing. They then weaned be off over 10 days before putting me on nortriptyline, getting up to 30 mg over three months. It started to affect me by giving me panic attacks so I weaned off of that over another month. While weaning off of the nortriptyline, once I got down to 15 mg, the doctor started me on Effexor. I started at a quarter of a 37.5 mg tablet and worked up to 37.5 mg over three weeks. I was then on 37.5 mg for two weeks and had awful side effects so started tapering off over a three-week period. Basically, I was on and off of Effexor a total of seven weeks. Then, the doctor put me on Klonopin for two weeks to try to help me come off of the Effexor. I refused to take it for more than two weeks. However, I am now 45 days off all of the medication and I'm having really bad muscle twitches, unsteadiness still, sensations of the floor feeling squishy beneath my feet and a constant feeling of like my brain is cracking. Not to mention emotional upheaval Has anyone here noticed significant improvement in recovery after short term use of these drugs? I'm terrified they permanently altered me and I won't get back to homeostasis.
  5. Hi, I was on .5 Mg 1x day of Klonopin for 28 years, my GP updoses it to 3 x day....terrible pyridoxal reaction, Dr. added 10 Mg Prozac which helped the terrible reaction. Did a 2 year taper off Klonopin. 6 Months after being off I started a 5 - 6 month taper off the Prozac. Been off Klonopin 15 months; Off Prozac little over 4 months. Having terrible monophobia (which I kinda had over these last 28 years), huge terror, obsessive thoughts, ruminating thoughts, extreme anger / rage, insomnia. I called both my dr. and therapist crying today. Dr. wants me to re-instate the Prozac. Is this still benzo withdrawal or Prozac wd ??? I am SO scared of meds.....I wonder if this is me or meds ???
  6. Hello all, I`m new here. I`m also a member of benzobuddies.org forum. English is not my first language so I appologize for possible grammar mistakes in advance. The reason I joined your forum is that I`d like to come off Mirtazapine and Buspirone asap. I`ve been suffering from anxiety disorders since I was a teenager (I`m 37). I was diagnosed with GAD and SF. In the course of time a depression developed too, but nothing serious. In June 2013 I started to attend a psychotherapy due to social phobia which helped me much. My issues with psych drugs started after a renal colic followed by a surgery in April 2015. In May 2015 I first saw a psychiatrist in my life. I was looking for some relief. A huge mistake! She prescribed me Zoloft 50mg. At the very first night I got a horrible panic attack which I`d never had before. This repeated next night. I went to ER next morning and got prescribed Rivotril 0.5 mg twice a day. I had to stop taking Zoloft two weeks afterwards and got another antidepressant called Trittico (trazodone) which had no positive effect. I tried to come off Rivotril after two months, tapering 1/4 of the pill every week. I had terrible withrawal symptoms. I only survived a few weeks without Rivotril and then started to get panic attacks at night. So I began to take Rivotril again, this time only 0.5 mg divided into two daily doses which was sufficient for me. It was last September. I also went to another psychiatrist`s. We`ve tried severeal meds like escitalopram, moclobemidum, venlafaxinum, olanzapin, lamotriginum, mianserin so far to help me get rid of Rivotril. Only venlafaxinum (Olwexya) helped me with my depression, but it had side effects like restless legs and bad sleep with severe sweating so I had to stop taking it after six months (at the begining of April). I made three unsuccessful attempts to come off Rivotril while I was taking Olwexya. My depression returned, I started to feel drowsy and tired all day. I started my next taper attempt at the end of June. I took one 1/4 of the pill in the morning and 1/2 of the pill in the evening. One week later I took 1/4 of the pill both in the morning and evening. At night I had a nightmare, slept very bad. My withdrawal symptoms were: sleep disturbances, increased anxiety, social phobia, perceptual distortions, depression, poor memory and concentration, intrusive memories, weakness, fatigue, influenza-like symptoms, dizziness, nausea, diarrhoea, dry mouth, metallic taste, sweating, halucinations. My doctor said I couldn`t be phyzically addicted only on 0.5 mg. Very funny. At the end of July when I was on dose 0.2mg, I was hospitalized because I couldn`t go to work. They stopped giving me Rivotril almost immediatelly. I didn`t want to take any new pills. I just wanted some help to survive the withdrawal. I agreed with Buspirone because I considered it the least harmful. But later they tried to give me something to beat my insomnia - Atarax, Quetiapine, Valdoxan. Mitrazapine was the first one which alowed me to sleep. I didn`t feel any side efects besides horrible dizziness when I went to the toilet at night. Two weeks later they added Venlafaxine (California rocket fuel). I had many side effects including terrible panic attacks which I complained about. After all the meds my dizziness got worse. On September 9th I was released from the hospital. I agreed with my doctor to stop Venlafaxine 75mg within 10 days (I took it only for three weeks). Last Wednesday when I was still on 25mg withdrawal hit me. I had vivid dreams, influenza-like symptoms, mood swings and cry spells and terrible dizziness. It`s much better now except the dizziness. The dizziness is literaly ruining my life. I feel like I was constantly drunk. I can`t drive and I even refrain from walking. I suspect both Buspirone and Mirtazapine are the cause. I definetely can`t live with Mirtazapine because I sleep 12 hours day and still feell drowsy and tired all the time. I have no energy. They say my dizziness is somatized anxiety but I don`t believe it. Anyways, current medication has done nothing with it. I`d like to ask for your opinion which one I should start to taper first or whether I can taper them both at the same time? I`ve been taking them only for about two months. 10% taper a month seems very slow to me. I`ve never had big issues when coming of antidepressants. What do you think? Thank you.
  7. I'm new to the forums - currently taking 225mg Effexor, .25mg Klonopin, and .25mg Risperdal. My psychiatrist noted that the Risperdal is temporary (will be taking it for about 3 months), but after reading about withdrawal from this particular drug, I'm wondering if I shouldn't begin going off it sooner than that. It's worth noting that the depression and anxiety that I was experiencing even with Effexor and Klonopin did subside almost immediately after beginning Risperdal. At any rate, I already know I'll be beginning a taper off Klonopin soon, after successfully dropping from .5mg to .25mg without any side effects after 4 weeks - I think I got lucky there. I've been on Risperdal for 28 days, so my natural question, given that withdrawal from psychiatric drugs can occur for anyone taking them for "1 month or longer" is whether I should just stop immediately, since it's been just shy of one month and my dose is low, or if I should taper. I understand that I shouldn't expect a definitive answer to this, but I'm very interested to hear what others think and, quite frankly, very scared about what I'm about to face, given the need to taper from two different drugs. My psychiatrist will undoubtedly tell me to just stop taking it after I've been on it for 3 months, as she seems to believe that there are no withdrawal symptoms from any psych. drugs. So I kind of have to go it alone on this decision without guidance from her. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
  8. Hi to everyone and thank you for accepting me into this group. I was planning on tapering from my Wellbutrin after I had been stable on it for a couple of months. I have only been taking it since January but had been experiencing what I thought were just increased anxiety and agitation from it. I was inpatient at the time and the doctors told me that those weren't side effects and it was just my own anxiety. I have a long history of panic disorder which was under control until my husband and I decided to move to another city due to a job change. After I left the hospital it took a month to be able to get in to see a psychiatrist. Unfortunately she had a very strong accent and though I think accents are neat I have had trouble understanding people with accents since I had surgery to correct a badly deviated septum. So I had to wait another month to see a different psychiatrist. I was having a horrible time on the Bupropione the whole time but I was able to get some help from a mental health urgent care clinic.They increased my Buspirone from 30 mg to 50 mg which really helped with the anxiety I was experiencing from the Buproprion, I finally got in to see a new psychiatrist and the first thing she wanted to do was take me off the clonazepam. She wanted to cut my dose in half but I only cut it by a quarter. About five days later I was in full blown withdrawal and she wouldn't believe me. She said if I was in withdrawal I would be in the hospital. I have been going to a group and one of the facilitators told me I should go back to the mental health urgent care which I did the next day and they referred me to an addictionologist. He has been wonderful. He confirmed that I was indeed in withdrawal. I was pretty much through it by that time but at least he understood. It had been about three weeks since I had tapered down on the clonazepam and he recognized that the bupropirone was causing me problems so he told me to drop it to half. After my recent experience I chose to drop it by .25 again. I went straight into severe withdrawal and he reinstated the medication after only two days of a reduction. At this point I would wake up every morning with severe trembling and anxiety so I switched my night time clonazepam to the morning and that caused those symptoms to remit. I was feeling really good and enjoying my days. Getting out into the sunlight, walking my dog, mowing the lawn. It was great. Anyway I learned about a device called Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation (CES) that is supposed to help you with anxiety and depression and since I want to get off my medications I discussed it with my psychiatrist. He thought it would work so he gave me a prescription for it. I started using it 15 days ago. The first two days were great. I woke up with no anxiety and I felt even better than ever. Then I started having increased anxiety on the third day. One of the things that the CES device can do is increase the effectivness of your medications, and their side effects. About a week into my use of the device the side effects from the Buproprion became intolerable. It turned out that the clonazepam had been disguising akathisia and the CES brought it out. Of course this happened over Memorial Day Weekend so I was left to my own devices and the wonderful counsel of my concerned husband. We decided to drop my Buproprian to 75 mg IR to see if that would help. Unfortunately it did not. I didn't seem to have any withdrawal symptoms either though. On Tuesday we went in to see my Dr and he recommended a beta blocker for the side effect. It worked wonderfully. Unfortunately it also caused me to become depressed. The Dr recommended that I go off the medication completely at this point. So starting the next day on June 1 I went cold turkey. The withdrawal symptoms started immediately. I have had crying spells and unending anxiety. I have continued to use the CES as it is reputed to help with withdrawal symptoms and to help prevent relapsing into depression. It seems to help but not as much as I would like it too. I know that my brain has to remodel itself and it will take time even with the help of the CES device. I have also been using L-theanine which helps a little. I am really trying to find some way to reduce the anxiety as it has turned me into a severe agoraphobic. I hide in my basement so I don't even have to look outside because that is anxiety producing in itself. The only way I have been keeping sane is to keep my brain occupied by surfing the net. I have also been reading The Mood Cure trying to find something that will help with the anxiety. I do have extra clonazepam that the Dr gave me and I have Baclofen but I don't want to have any more addictions than I already do. Once I get off the Buproprion I am planning a liquid taper of the clonazepam. I really feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place because if I reinstate the Buproprion at all then I have the akathisia to deal with and the medication for it makes me depressed. I would really love any input that anyone has for me. I have been thiking of trying some of the following for the anxiety. Lemon Balm Valerian Root Inositol Niacinamide (the Niacin makes me itchy from the histamine release) L-glycine Taurine Ashwaghanda I even read that someone coming off of Buprorpion had some success with L-phenalalanine but I have anxiety issues so I don't know if that would be counter productive or helpful becasue going off of the Buproprion is what is causing this. I'm also afraid of long term consequences to the cold turkey but I don't know what else I could have done. I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thank you, and thank you for this wonderful group.
  9. Been quietly observing and reading other peoples posts and finally decided to post my story. My path with AD started with a full blown panic attack. I had never in my life experienced a panic attack so it was very difficult at the beginning. Everybody's different. My panic attacks were debilitating lasting for several hours. Went to see my doctor and was quickly put on benzos. Started with xanax 0.5 mg and was quickly raised to 2.0 mg. Later it was switched out to klonopin 2.0 mg. It did control my panic attacks and my anxiety attacks. Later on I was told to add an AD to further control my panic attacks. This was the fun part where I became my own guinea pig where I had to "FIND THE RIGHT MED" for myself. Initially started with lexapro and was told that it could take up to 4 months for the drug to kick in. 4 months past by and it did nothing. lexapro had no effect on me. Tried viibryd, celexa, paxil, and prozac. Settled with paxil and klonopin for a long time. Towards the end made the jump to cymbalta and klonopin. If it wasn't for people around me telling me how I've changed, over the time frame that I was on these drugs, I would have probably continued taking these drugs. I've lost all emotions nothing in the world gave me any enjoyment. Started drinking heavily to the point where I was drinking every day. Spent money like money grew on trees. I had no apathy at all towards others. I became completely indifferent towards the entire world. I have so much respect towards people here that are maintaining their strict taper schedule. I tried to slowly taper from my drugs but I could never keep it myself. At the first sign of withdrawal I kept running back to my drugs. I decided to throw all my meds out and go the cold turkey route. I fell into a dark abyss. I didn't bother going to no doctor because I knew it was my fight and my fight alone. Woke up with severe panic and dread. It was as if all my nerves were fired up. Every person was associated with a flash back from the past with a very negative flash back from my past. For example, my dad was asking me how I felt and I had a really bizarre flash back from the past where my dad was not so kind to me when I was a kid. It was a memory from the past that I had forgotten for a very long time. This flash back resulted in me with a rage like emotion towards him. Pretty much everyone I met, that had an unkind past with me, brought up these negative flash backs. Entire body feels numb. Light/noise sensitivity. Blurry vision as if I'm surrounded by fog. All my muscles were sore, aching and shaking. Tingling burning sensation on the skin. Itchy anus. Joint pain like I've never experienced before. Difficulty breathing. Flu like symptoms. Severe headaches. Head felt really heavy as if there was a rock embedded in my brain. Messed up sinus. Weak legs. Weak neck. Difficulty speaking. Difficulty balancing myself. Coordination skills severely impaired. Severe tinnitus. Body feels heavy as if gravity increased. Severe dp/dr. One day I spilled my entire plate while eating and I could see my plate fall down in slow motion in 3-D. One day I was cooking and accidentally burnt my hand and I could feel the pain from my hand travel all the way to my brain. I'm pretty sure there were a lot more symptoms that I really can't remember them all. It's been six months now that I've gone cold turkey. I'm still a long ways from recovery but looking back sure as hell feels like I've made some progress. Going cold turkey put my body in full reboot mode and slowly one by one I get to feel parts of my body come alive one by one.
  10. Hello, First time on this site. I've been a member of benzo buddies (sleeplessmt) and trying to locate others who suffer in the same way as I do. I was first introduced to pych meds when my youngest daughter was 2 months old (September of 2014). I was having some minor difficulty sleeping in between all of the feeding wakeups so I stupidly went to my doctor for help. She gave me Clonazepam and Trazodone and I alternated nights with those meds. I stopped both after 6 weeks and had no wd. A few months later I started them again for sleep after we had noisy houseguests for a lengthy time. I immediately started getting heart palps; then hypersensitivity to noise a few weeks later; and then major sleep loss after a month. When I tried stopping these meds I began having panic attacks at night along with these weird twitches I had never experienced. I was advised to go back on a higher dose of clonazepam and I dropped the trazodone. This made no difference and eventually my tolerance grew stronger. Over the next several weeks, other drugs were introduced to combat the crippling insomnia and twitches at night... gabapentin, propanolol celexa, doxipen and Seroquel. I only stayed on the gabapentin and celexa consistently and once I figured out that the clonazepam was the devil drug, I weaned myself off the clonazepam over a 2 month period. I stayed on the other two meds. Day one off of Clonazepam (September 3, 2015) was beyond horrific. I immediately went into full blown withdrawal and had just about every symptom you can imagine. Dripping sweat, hallucinations, IBS, screeching tinnitus, panic attacks, spasms, twitching, weight loss, shaking, tremoring, akasthesia, horrible mental symptoms, burning, constant dry cough, tachycardia, weakness, couldn't breath or even walk a block, dizziness, AND COMPLETE INSOMNIA with worsened jerks/jolts/shocks at the moment of sleep. Even though I was still taking celexa and gabapentin, it did not do a single thing to help any of my symptoms except for the burning skin (gabapentin mildly helped that). At two weeks off clonazepam, a neurologist told me to get off the other 2 drugs so I did just that. I was still in complete hell so I did not notice any increase in symptoms. At that point I was becoming suicidal from zero sleep so I tried a "calming" form of marijuana. This sent me into a horrible mental state with worsened muscular symptoms, so I checked myself into a pych ward the next morning. I was placed on Seroquel, gabapentin and clonidine. With the combo, I was able to sleep up to 3 hours per night. I did this for 2.5 months until the Seroquel stopped working. I was able to transition to mirtazapine and got about the same amount of sleep with that drug. I tapered off of that one and became totally drug free at exactly 6 months off of Clonazepam. Miraculously, the very month I was drug free I was sleeping 4-6 hours each night and that continued until month 9 which ended up being absolutely horrendous. Since then, my months have been up and down, with mostly downs. As of right now, I am in an 8 day wave where I am only sleeping 1-2 hours each night. The shock/jerks/surges I get are torturing me!! I can have them every 1-3 minutes at night. As soon as I doze off, BAM! I am slammed with what feel like a muscle contraction or jerk followed by an intense surge to my chest that radiates throughout my body. I have many sensations each night, but that one has been most prevalent this week. Other symptoms that I continue to have on a constant basis are burning skin, tinnitus, fatigue, depression, POTS, some spasming/twitching during the day and tremors in my feet. All of these are just a nuisance in my life (except the depression which is sleep related) and I would not be on this forum if it were not for the debiltitating sleep issues that I continue to suffer from. I was never depressed or anxious prior to taking these meds. I was absolutely loving being the mother to my two little girls before this happened. I worked part time, I was hosting parties, traveling, camping and taking care of a large home just prior to getting sick. This was never post partum anxiety like my original doctor tried to make me believe. I am outraged that she diagnosed me with that!! Please, please, please... If anyone here has had these damn shocks and jerks at night the way that I have, can you contact me? I have found two other people like this but that alone hasn't given me the hope I need to believe this ends. I seem to be the most severe case with this awful disorder as I have such an array of sleep starts that tear me out of "almost" sleep. Thank you for reading.
  11. I'm having a hard time taper off 2.5 mg of zyprexa. I went every other day for 7 days then quit taking it and only managed to go two nights before insomnia and anxiety kicked in. I'm on zyprexa for sleeping anyway, is there hope for me getting off this drug?
  12. Sorry if you're posting this in the wrong place, I'm new here, I'm not fluent in English either. Please do not consider possible errors. I used clonazepam for three years, I tried to quit this twice and it was absolutely horrible experiences. I would like to understand how to do this safely, I was directed to this forum via Facebook, they said that I could get help here and that a moderator could give me access to benzobuddies. I can not sign up for benzobuddies. All email I submit for registration counts as invalid. My question is mainly aimed at understanding how I can measure the 10% decrease from previous dosage. When I heard that the correct thing would be to reduce the dose to 10% per month, I figured it was 10% of the initial dose. I use 20 drops of liquid clonazepam, how can I measure 10% of 18 drops? Is not that impossible?
  13. Hello, New member here. Had been on Klonopin for 15 months for insomnia caused by hypothyroidism. Been off K for 10 months now, with the help of 75 mg Trazodone for sleep. About 2 months ago, T was losing its effectiveness and I decided it's time for a drug-free me. I went from 75 mg to 50 with no problems; at 50, withdrawal hit hard. Insomnia (of course), shakiness, anxiety, you name it. I did a fast taper as I did not have it in me to go through another long taper after the K experience. In 2 months, I went from 75, down by 1mg every night to 50, to 25 for 2 weeks, 12.5 for another 2 and finally off. I have been off for only about 3 nights. Withdrawal after quitting seems manageable so far, although it is too early to tell if it will get worse. My main issue is with insomnia. I feel if I can manage this, I will be OK, especially after the horrific K withdrawal. My question for those who have used Trazodone: how long did it take for sleep to return after quitting trazodone? Please include how long you had been using T and the dosage. Thanks for your input and hope we all survive the trials of psychotropic drugs. Survivor1
  14. Really enjoyed reading the information by the administrator on this site. I too was sold on the idea that I needed to reduce a benzo Clonazepam before the Nortriptylene but have had little success. When I read that its best to taper off the activating AD first it made total sense. I'm currently holding at 1.5mg clonazepam and have recently started reducing the AD, dropped from 25mg to 23mg over the last two weeks using the water titration method from this site, what I did was put the 25mg capsule of Nort into 25 ml of water and shook the combination and drew out 2ml of the combination for a 2mg reduction. Lat night after two weeks I dropped to 20mg. My question is do I continue to reduce by 2mg all the way to zero or use some different % ratio. Thanks and glad to be connected with this group,
  15. I was given 20 mg of Prozac back in 1997 for depression. I was still technically a minor back then. I had an initial "high" from the Prozac which was mistaken for me not being depressed anymore. A few months later, Prozac stopped working and I had completely lost my sexual functioning. I told my doctor about this, so I was switched to Effexor. I kept on being switched from medication to medication in an attempt to achieve the initial "high" of the Prozac and to reverse the sexual functioning but things just got worse. One day I was put on a medication called Wellbutrin and that caused a manic episode from the first dose which caused me to have to be put into an inpatient facility. I was now switched from just being depressed to having bipolar disorder. I was put on Depakote which stopped the manic episode. Depakote caused me a lot of suffering, so I decided to cold turkey the medication about 6 months later. This led to another inpatient hospitalization and now I was polydrugged with Depakote and Zyprexa. This was the first polydrug combination I was on. This combination of medications was even worse because I was sleeping at least 16 hours a day. After another 6 months or so, I cold turkeyed both of these medications and that led to another inpatient hospitalization. I was fortunate in some ways to have the Zyprexa removed and be able to function somewhat ok on just Depakote and now Klonopin. I stayed on Depakote for years but my sexual issues were never solved and I had a lot of other side effects from Depakote such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson's disease like symptoms. In around 2005, I discovered the first person who had described the same sexual issues I experienced. It was called Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. I discovered forums similar to this one, and consumed books by people like Dr. Breggin. In 2007, I was able to successfully withdraw safely from all medications by switching over to lithium and valium and using a compound pharmacy to taper down. I felt a lot better and recovered from some of the damages caused by the medications. I began social drinking in 2008 because I felt like I missed out on such a big part of my life. About 6 months later, I completely lost my ability to sleep probably due to the alcohol damaging what the benzos had already damaged. I was forced into a state psych ward and given a diagnosis of bipolar NOS, psychosis, anxiety etc. After 3 or 4 months in the state psych ward, I left on a combination of Depakote ER and Ativan. I had to eventually updose the Depakote ER and switch to Klonopin again. So for the last 3 years or so, I've been on 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg of Klonopin. While I am not suffering nearly as much as I did when I was bombarded with antipsychotics like Haldol and Geodon, life isn't nearly as good as I know it could be. That's why I want to get help in coming off of the Depakote ER and Klonopin safely. My confidence level is a bit low because I feel like I may be damaged beyond repair due to being on dozens of psychiatric medications and due to the past experience with insomnia I freak out when I cannot sleep and that is what is happening now. I started to taper off of Depakote ER on 11/24/2014 and I'm on 750 mg Depakote ER now and 3 mg of Klonopin. That's my intro but I'm not sure what to do next...
  16. Moderator's note: Link to FreeWilly's benzo thread Hello. I have been on klonopin for 20 years. I am doing the daily liquid micro taper and have reduced from 2.5mg daily to 1.6mg . I was in tolerance for a longtime before I knew what was happening to me. I'm really suffering mentally and physically and need some advice. I didn't expect this to be easy but I see other people have been able to do this and still function. I am to sick to work and basically do nothing but lay in bed. I get short periods where thing start to feel better but they don't last long and are followed by an increase of symptoms. Can someone respond to me? I hope I posted this in the right place. Thank You
  17. MY dear friends. I am giving you a true story from BenzoBuddies of a guy who is totally free and living live after 15 months of misery after stopping long term use of benzos and Remeron as well as other ADs. I have exhcanged messages with him and he is quite well now. I am posting his story as i am myself going through a difficult taper of Remeron while trying to maintain my life intact and this gave me a lot of hope... I hope to all the Remeron taperers will give the same inspiration that is needed most of the time. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=180521.msg2386953#msg2386953 Read and believe in yourself my friends The brain has the capability to heal. I am living it myself as at 2.35mg i am a lot better than i was when on 6Mg of Bromazepam and 15Mg of Remeron. WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT. Good Luck in your Fights
  18. Hello. I need some info on a procedure i found out works for my situation. I am taking Carbamazepine ( or Tegretol ) every third day ( when at work ) to cope with stressful situations. I read about everywhere it needs to be taken each day, but i feel not to take it that often. I control my anxiety at home, but at performing my job my emotions seem to overwhelm me, so i take this drug. I feel fine and in the evening i don't feel depressed any longer while at work ( i used to become very depressed in the evening due to staying late; these are the requierements of the job ). I started taking Carbamazepine so i don't feel the need of any benzo ( they ask for higher and higher doses to be taken to work every time, which is nuisance ). Is it possible to continue taking Carbamazepine every third day and be safe? What are the risks of this way of dealing with this situation ?
  19. i thought i was withdrawing successfully from gabapentin. i am apparently very bad off because i had to go very very slow. i thought i was doing ok and i upped very slowly the amount of dissolved liquid i was withdrawing from the beaker. i was stressed, but every night would go back down in dose to get a good sleep. i was unable to tolerate attempts to withdraw more so i went back to the dose that seemed comfortable. i was no longer comfortable. at all. then i upped the dose 30% i thought acc. to the rules here. i am radically uncomfortable now at any dose. i am desperate and there is no end. i am thinking of going to a doctor to see if i can get a lot of benzos to withdraw. i am afraid of compounding my problem. i was take 300 mg. gaba 6xs a day. i was getting breakthrough symptoms anyway but didn't realize it.
  20. Hey everyone, 46 year old single woman here with a history of anxiety and recently some intrusive thoughts & depression because of the anxiety/intrusive thougths. Have been on Remeron, Lexapro and Klonopin since 8/2015, my signature has the complete history and details. Anyway, I am currently trying to taper off 15mg of Remeron mainly due to weight gain and feeling better, but am having a pretty hard time. My psychiatrist originally told me to go down to 7.5 for 2 weeks, then 0 but I knew that would be too fast. I tried to drop by a quarter pill and was ok the first week just a little sadness. The 2nd week got headaches, trouble sleeping, worse mood, fatigue, achiness, a little nausea. At this point I started looking online for other peoples stories and found this site among others. I found information on one site on how to mix Mirt. into a liquid, and started dropping by 1mg a week, currently starting my 4th week and am at 12mg. But honestly I feel like crap. Depression is probably a 6-7 out of 10, having trouble sleeping and that really affects my mood, very low energy, hard to concentrate, some headaches and body aches, intense dreams/nightmares, feel very unmotivated and getting more intrusive thoughts (which I have dealt with for 2 years now). Ironically my anxiety is better! I thought I was going at a slow enough taper, maybe I'm wrong or maybe I wasn't ready. Not sure, just want to feel better though. I really want off the mirt because of weight gain (45 pounds!) and was feeling better, at least before I started taper. I see my psych next week and will talk to him. Just thought I would ask you guys for some advice since you've been there or are currently in the middle of a taper. Any thoughts about what could help me, should I go slower? I think sleep is the main thing that wrecks my mood and gives way to a lot of the other issues. Any tips or kind words would be greatly appreciated! Jade
  21. Unsure if I'm posting in the right place but this is somewhat of an introduction. 1.5 years ago I started on 20mg of Prozac for OCD. There was restlessness with starting but it went away. Gradually I tapered down to 10mg of Prozac which I was on for a full year. 2 months ago, I felt the sudden onset of a a very severely agitated feeling. It was very vague but I can pinpoint the exact moment I noticed it -- I was sitting, doing nothing remarkable, and unstressed. I had felt something like this before throughout my treatment but it was very very temporary and felt more like an agitated depression brought on by external circumstances. When this feeling started I could not pinpoint anything else as the cause. Things were good in all parts of my life. I had not messed with the dosage of Prozac at all for a year. Is it still possible that the Prozac is causing this long term agitation/akathisia that I still experience today? A month into the feeling I decided to taper off Prozac completely. I experienced very little withdrawal...just mild headaches and dizziness. The akathisia didn't get worse or better. But it is still quite bad. And the longer it continues the more hopeless I become and probably the more depressed as well because I can't see a life without this agitation anymore. Started on some Klonopin to treat the restlessness and help me sleep. Has anyone else experienced akathisia without a dose change? And also only being on a low dose?
  22. I am very sensitive to SSRIs post pregnancy but was put on one for anxiety. Prior to,I was taking 20mg Lexapro with no side effects. Now, I am on 5 mg (took me two weeks at 2.5 mg to get up to this). I have been on for about 2 months. I haven't even been on a high enough dose long enough to feel full benefits...some glimmers of hope now and then but I have experienced some very dark clouds and worsening anxiety since starting and I have lost so much weight. My head feels like it is going to explode and I just want out. I have never felt this way on it before. However, every time I try to stop, my body aches and I start panicking. I tried stopping before after just a month and crashed big time so I started the low dose again. Will I be worse off if I try to stop now since I haven't even stabilized or reached a therapeutic level? Any tips are GREATLY appreciated! Stephygrrl Lexapro-5mg, Klonopin .5, Lunesta 300
  23. I will work on my signature this evening. My immediate issue is I did a drop from 15mg of Lexapro to 10mg about two to three months back. In the past that first jump was not a problem. I had a international business trip and agreed to a final hepatitis b shot, a flu shot and decided to try some doxycycline for my rosacea. Four days later I started to get bad headaches behind my ears and at the top of my neck that even Advil was not helping with crazy sinus pain yet no mucus it almost felt like muscles squeezing (note I do have bad TMJ but this was new) then later in the week chest pain and some crying very easily. During the trip it was bad and returning went to the ER for chest pain and feeling of pressure at the base of my skull. Also before the trip stopped doxy thinking it was a reaction. Heart Ok normal cardiac enzyme and clot test head pain they said was TMJ. Started getting nocturnal panic attacks on some nights and mild agoraphobia, then I started getting prickling feelings randomly all over body mainly in the late afternoon and evening. I am not hyperventilating when this occurs. I decided to updise to 12.5 and have been there for about 10 days. It has stabilized the anxiety and crying for the most part but the burning and paresthesia and headaches are bad. Now I am scared that I am stuck with adverse reaction vs withdrawal or could this be a hepatitis b shot reaction? I have followed up with my regular doc and psych doc and had even more blood work done and all normal. I also have a condition called meralgia parenthetica and this sensory symptoms are making it really bad. I am afraid to go up to 15 and afraid to go to 10. I do have bad health anxiety and that does not help the situation! Why does the nerve stuff only occur mainly at night?
  24. I'm 5 months off Clonazepam. Was total hell! Was on only 2.5 months. Before that was Ativan. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I suffered almost a year on bad reactions from antidepressants and antipsychotics before being put on ativan then clonazepam. I'm in my 5th month of being off all the drugs. I'm wondering if anybody else has had a fear of never being able to drive again or being alone again? Does it go away? I tried driving by myself and it's really scary. It seems I can only get so far before fear kicks in. And I'm scared to be left alone. It seems like 3 weeks ago the bad anxiety and bad thoughts came back. I NEED hope!! I feel like I'm going to be like this forever!
  25. Need some advice. Was given 15 milligrams Zyprexa in the hospital for anxiety and depression. Been on 15 milligrams for one month. Stopped taking it because of restless legs and now my anxiety is back very high. Should I have tapered off after only being on 4 One month. Is this just my withdrawal or original anxiety returning. My doctor wasn't much help he basically just said that I could have anxiety again after stopping the medication but did not tell me that I needed to taper from it. Also taking Prozac for a past 5 weeks 20 milligrams a day. And two milligrams clonazepam.