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Found 122 results

  1. Finished my slow taper off Prozac in November of last year. Had ZERO negative affects until the last 10mgs (started at 80). At first I was just a bit irritable from time to time. In the last month, however, particularly the last few weeks, things have deteriorated rapidly. I no longer have any tolerance for alcohol. If I have one drink, I feel absolutely horrendous for days. Easy enough to deal with, I haven't been drinking. I've been focusing on eating more protein and eating regularly to control blood sugar crashes and whatnot (following the Potatoes not Prozac "diet" so to speak). I am horribly depressed and anxious all the time. I have no motivation. Everything is empty and meaningless. I haven't experienced a window in at least a couple weeks now. I'm a recovered self-harmer, and last weekend I self-harmed for the first time in at least a year. I have a regular therapist who I see every two weeks, but this feels far more biochemical than behavioral. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a full-on depressive episode. My life is going to fall apart if I continue like this. I don't know where I'm supposed to go for help. If I go see a psychiatrist, they will just put me back on meds and all of this will have been for nothing. I am starting to take vitamins again (Vitamin B Complex, fish oil, and magnesium) but it hasn't been long enough to see if there's a difference. If it's just going to get worse like this it seems like antidepressants are my only option unless I want my life to completely implode.
  2. HI Guys. Don't have the best update. In August of 2017 I suddenly aquired w/d based akathesia and hysteria. I also took some OTC stuff like MMJ, Reserpine, and Kratom due to the horrific w/d symptoms I was having. It was a worng thing to do but instead of stopping/holding, I just looked for alternatives that were dangerous. At the time, my ND MD was not being helpful at all and so wasn't my psychoanalyst. I felt at breaking point and the Apathy, Lack of Desire, Depression, Anxiety, Restlessness, Fear of maddness, etc, was SO hugh, I just was becoming suicidal. I actually phoned my ND MD and the office was trying to get me calm (The a*hole doctor NEVER came to the phone) but to no avail. After a while, I started feeling really suicidal and called 911 to take me to Mt' Sinai in NYC. Bad choice but I felt my life is over Of course, once there I was medicated as you can see in my signature and even given a round of ECT (will put in sig). I was released after a FULL month and felt better just to flip into a strong Apathetic adohenic state. I can lay in bed for hours, days, and care about nobody or anything. I took a cortisol saliva test and Urine Neurotransmitter (NT) test, which showed my morning very low, early after noon, ok, later afternoon, very high, at night, even higher. Based on th NT testing it showed ALL my NT at the low levels. Interesting, being on SSRI SNRI serotonin should be elevated or at least normal. I guess it depletes the stores. After long story, I'm working with Natropath and did a 93 food sensitivity test, showing COrn, GLuten, Milk, Almonds, Eggs being a problem. I also take Magnesium threonate, Seriphos (for cortisol), theanine/gaba combo, liposonal C capsule, VItamin D 5000, and Tryptophan 500mg at night. She tols me Tryptophan OK since my NT was low (33 vs 50 normal range). I find that my lethargy and adohenia is so bad that I still have difficulty getting out of bed or doing anything. It is so hard to even help myself. I find that all things I enjoyed are now bland. I also cannot taper now because I'm not ready and my mind is fuc*ed up do to med changes. Any help is appreciated. I feel like I'll stay like this forever. My kids need me, I need me, the world needs me. I'm not working at all. I'm doing CBT therapy but my motivation is so low that I'm not following and even missing appointments. Please anybody????
  3. TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation)

    Anyone experience any benefits from TMS therapy to relieve symptoms of depression/anxiety in protracted withdrawl?
  4. Hello All, I'm new here and am looking for some help. I've suffered from major depressive disorder my entirelife. My depression is a fairly constant part of my life with brief windows of freedom from it. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder also, and at that time decided to try medication. I've tried multiple antidepressants and NONE OF THEM HAVE HELPED. I don't remember the first few I tried, but I tried paxil for a month, gave me my first panic attacks ever, then I switched to zoloft, which made me so tired I couldn't function, and then I came to effexor. I was on Effexor for 6 months, but all it did was numb my anxiety, and did nothing for my depression. So, I've been off effexor for a month now. I didn't tapper off too well. Was on a 70mg dose(I'm very sensitive to medication that was a very high dose for me) and in the span of two weeks kept cut down the dose/stopped. I couldn't take it though, the drug made me so sick everyday for 6 months, it was horrible. Now my depression is in full swing and I don't care about anything. I'm a full time grad student in a studio art program and since getting off effexor I can't make anything, I'm too depressed, I don't want to do anything and have been isolating in my room, sleeping up to 15 hours a day, just excessive depression symptoms. I'm afraid to go to a therapist/psych because all they ever want to do is give me meds and they don't work for me! Not a single one has helped. Has anyone else experienced that? No med working? and could anyone give me advice about stopping antidepressants and depression symptoms? It's been about a month so idk if I should introduce a little bit of effexor back in or not? I tried to do 15mg a while ago and it made me sick and very sleepy like when i was taking my full 70mg. Should I just ride out this depression and hope for the best? I hate antidepressants, they really have been a horrible part of my life. Any info/help greatly appreciated here. xo, vi
  5. Hey all, I have read a lot about people being put on meds unnecessarily and having to spend years dealing with the issues that the medication caused. It really is horrible to hear how common this is and I hope all of you find peace on your journey, wherever you're at. I was placed on medication, however, due to the onset of very severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and subsequent depression. The thing is, I always had a tendency towards intrusive thoughts and obsessional fears that disturbed me greatly. It wasn't until I was 16 that one particular fear emerged and destroyed my life pretty quickly. I don't blame the doctor for putting me on medication at the time, to be fair, I was an absolute non-functioning mess. Medication (SSRI's), at that point, saved my life - it completely altered my way of thinking so that I was more clear headed, had less anxiety and was able to actually be positive. Of course, it didn't cure it completely (I still had very unhealthy coping mechanisms and some trauma from my initial breakdown that kept me fearful) but it gave my life back to a large degree, and I had very little physical side effects other than some weight gain and excess sweating, which was a small price to pay for my sanity. It doesn't help that my family have a long history of mental illness on both sides. I also later discovered that relatives I never grew up with had the same type of OCD (Pure-O), and that it was a huge factor in my father's suicide. I guess what I'm asking is, how did you deal with withdrawal on top of the original issue, if there was one? How did you retrain your beliefs after being told for years that 'you have a chronic mental illness and need to be medicated for life'? I should also mention that prior to stopping Prozac I was stable on a medium dose for 2 years mainly due to huge lifestyle changes and developing a dedicated meditation practice. This led to a significant 'awakening' of sorts that is ongoing, which is why I decided it was time to begin withdrawal. Would love to hear any insights or stories from you. Many thanks
  6. Hey everyone, My name is Abby and I have been off Prozac for 3.5 months now. I'm currently experiencing intense withdrawal and the return of mental states I never thought I'd have to experience again, and I would really like to connect with others who are going through similar during this long, difficult process. Background info: I always had tendencies towards anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (the Pure-Obsessional variety) since childhood. At 16 these symptoms very rapidly became so severe my whole life fell apart within a matter of days (Going on the contraceptive pill at this time may have been a contributing factor). I didn't have a full breakdown until I was 18, at which point I was taken to the doctor, put on Sertraline, and referred to psychiatry. The following 8 years consisted of several psychiatric admissions, different drugs including clomipramine, seroquel, mirtazipine, prozac, and possibly a few others for shorter periods. I lost pretty much everything, my obsessional fears were so strong that I attempted suicide more than once, developed a bad cocaine/mephadrone habit, was a constant worry to my family. There were times, however, where the medication would help a lot. At 60mg of Prozac I went through some periods of being functional - I went to work, got into a relationship etc. These were a great relief but I can't say I was truly happy as the fears were never properly dealt with. My last hospital admission was in 2014 when I was 24. I had attempted to come off medication as I believed I had to deal with the underlying problems, and I hated the weight gain side effects. Looking back, this was doomed to fail as I was still using cocaine regularly, drinking a lot, and didn't have any proper support mechanisms in place. I was fine for 6 months then crashed, was borderline psychotic with the OCD symptoms, depressed and anxious beyond belief and desperately wanted to die (and believed I deserved to). I was in a psych ward for just over 2 months before new meds kicked in - clompipramine and (randomly, I don't know why) Epilum, as I was told it 'balanced moods'. A year later I went back on to old faithful Prozac and also came off the contraceptive pill. I had always been told the same about it, that it leveled out moods, and don;t think it's a coincidence that my symptoms became much more manageable a few months after stopping it. I then managed to stay at 40mg for 2 years and my life changed drastically for the better. to myself and everyone around me it was like a miraculous recovery - I stopped taking drugs, began volunteering at a Buddhist meditation centre, got my dream job, published a novel, did newspaper interviews about my experiences, ...I pretty much had my dream life. It was like being reborn after thinking everything was all over...forever. It was in January 2017 that I decided to gradually wean off Prozac. Over the following 10 months I reduced until stopping completely in October. In these past 2 years I have done extensive mind training and spiritual exploration, which has probably been the main factor in this recovery. My life is pretty much dedicated to this practice now - I still volunteer at the meditation centre, go on meditation retreats throughout the year, and have also completed a Reiki Mastership. It was always potentially on the cards after exploring my mind with psychedelic drugs in the past, doing past life regressions and also taking Ayahuasca twice in ceremonies. It was around the time of the reiki mastership that I was weaning off the last of the Prozac. Things became challenging - but at first I welcomed it. I was in a strong place mentally, and my mental health hadn't plagued me intensely for a few years. I was made aware that the Reiki energy can churn things up to be healed, but I think that the combination of this, a massive flare up of a back issue that left me not able to walk for weeks, family pressures and intensive mind exploration during retreat that has led me to my current situation. Since December just passed things have been incredibly difficult. I have experienced a return of old OCD obsessions, to the point where I've had panic attacks for days that made my vision blur, heavy depression, crying all the time, existential fears and experiences which medically would look similar to psychosis (although I believe that term can pathologize important and natural inner processes), identity confusion etc. I knew it would be hard, I just never expected to feel this level of horror ever again. Having said that, I know things are different this time round - I have a level of insight gained through spiritual practice that is keeping me going. Energetically, I'm aware that I am creating this reality on various levels, and that I need to relax as much as possible to allow it to pass through the way it's supposed to. I'm no stranger to facing the darkest parts of the psyche, but it's still terrifying and I'm struggling to cope day to day. To make matters worse, my Mum has gone abroad for cancer treatment and I'm now caring for my little brother and sister 4 days a week which is incredibly stressful (I'm used to having my own space and being able to retreat when I need to). My CBT therapist has discharged me as she feels I cannot engage with therapy under this amount of stress, but encouraged me to come back when my Mum gets back. To be fair, she never taught me anything I didn't naturally learn in meditation and I was only seeing her regularly to comply with services. I have however started going for reiki treatments with the person who facilitated the course I was on last year - he is exceptionally intuitive, knowledgeable and takes an all round, individual approach. One session with him last week was worth a year of 'traditional' therapy. So I'm hoping that continuing with this will help. Anyway, sorry for the essay. I don't have many people to talk to about all this. It's also weird for me to ask for help now as I haven't needed it in so long - I'm usually now the one that helps everyone else. It's a scary and heartbreaking thing to go back to a place you thought you'd left long in the past, but I do believe deep down that I have done so in order to face my demons fully and emerge stronger in the long run. Thank you if you made it this far, I'm looking forward to connecting with others on this site. You are all incredibly strong to be doing what you're doing, no matter what stage you're at. Much love x
  7. Hey all, Looking for some advice and encouragement :(. Just to give you some dates and background. October-November 2016 - suffered sudden hearing loss that was treated with high doses of prednisone. Caused me to have severe anxiety and panic attacks, which I'd never had before. November 2016 - Went to a psychiatrist on encouragement of my doctor since I was having so many side effects from the treatment from my hearing loss. Psych told me to take 50mg Zoloft for 3-6 months. Upon starting Zoloft, I started feeling really depressed, jittery, anxious, fatigued, etc. Felt really terrible. January 2017 - Evened out on Zoloft and started feeling pretty good again. June 2017 - Was told my treatment was over and was told to just stop taking Zoloft. I was told just to quit cold turkey. June-August 2017 - Became very depressed (but was still functional), sensitive, crying spells, obsessive thinking etc. Things I never had before. Didn't know that I was possibly experiencing withdrawal and that I hadn't tapered. September 2017 - Doctor recommended I take 10mg Lexapro. On day 1 of 5mg, all my depressive symptoms went away, but the drug made me feel very anxious. Never went up to 10mg. Stayed on 5 mg for 2 months and then took 2.5 mg for 3 weeks and then got off. November 2017 - Stopped taking Lexapro entirely. Since then it's been a rough journey. Sometimes feel very depressed, sometimes very anxious, and sometimes fine. It makes me very angry because I didn't experience depression at all before I started taking the first anti-depressant. I'm doing what I think I should be doing to manage and let things take their course. I exercise, see friends, am working, etc. But there are some days it's just really tough. I don't want to go back on another drug because I'm 100% convinced that these drugs are the cause of these issues to begin with and I don't want to be on this crazy train for years and years. I know I took substantially lower doses of these drugs than other folks, but I'm generally extremely sensitive to all forms of medication. Is there anything anyone can recommend to help me get through this, so that I can help with my recovery? Is there anything else to do besides "just dealing with it?" Any supplements, herbal remedies, exercises, relaxation techniques anyone can recommend? I'm currently taking vitamin d, magnesium, and tumeric. Doing running, yoga, weighlifting, swimming. And trying to take it easy. Any love, support, and advice would be very much appreciated. All the best, Michael Try
  8. Hi everyone. In July I finished a 1-year slow taper of Cymbalta. I was prescribed it for depression and chronic pain. I decided after being on antidepressants for more than 25 years, and dealing with horrendous side effects, that I wanted to go off of them. I initially tapered per doctor’s orders, stepping down in 10-mg increments every 2 weeks from 60 mg to 30 mg, which was too rapid. Then I found advice to do no more than 10% reductions a minimum of 2 weeks at a time. That’s what I did for a year. I dealt with bad withdrawal during the taper. Brain zaps, anxiety, sweating, cognitive issues, etc. Now, more than 5 months have passed and I still suffer from depression and anxiety, and I’ve gotten back chronic neck pain. I’m going to counseling but it’s having minimal effect. I’m also seeing a functional medicine doctor and doing all I can to heal without drugs. However, I feel utterly hopeless and broken. Can I be relatively mentally healthy eventually? Or am I doomed to requiring antidepressants? Every day is so difficult. I’m barely able to take care of myself and do my job. Thank you, ”Hurting”
  9. Hi, I'm running out of what to read, who to ask and soon what to say. Ready for this? 1. I am consciously normal and functional 2. and only 2 I have a brain and body that is not cooperating. I feel guilty, or fake. When i'm at work and talking well - in my head I'm like "Who are you? You were never smart"... < probably my childhood echos > Once a major mistake occurred 6 years ago - I fell to the ground mentally - not able to let it go, no matter how many angles and closures I sought. 5 years this misery lasted to where I did get a human validation, but quickly was influenced into something else that made me question my "healing" - and now those 5 years of misery was much easier. To add to my pain - just months after ground 0, my Dad went to jail, my mom move in with me, my cat died weeks after that... Symptoms since: Head tension, Tinnitus, Neck tension, Dizziness, Anticipatory Anxiety, Feeling like I have a tumor in my head (pressure), Depersonalization moments / Derealization moments (Rare but terrible). Had a bout of agoraphobia. I think it's rooting in excessive guilt that I'm putting myself in mental prison. Now I lost my job in July and been on unemployment - and fearing getting a new one... not sure if I can mentally handle it. I feel total burnout. Medication History > After years of CBT - it was suggested I get on medication. Prozac - by day 22 I wanted to die (literally) but gladly i'm too afraid to and go off it when the Dr. kept pushing me to "Give it more time" Celexa & Paxil - gave me an intense panick attack. Paxil sent me to the hospital (One Pill did that) Zoloft & Lexapro - These numbed my brain, but I lost all emotions - that was my first de-realization and very scary Anafranil - this felt like someone poured mercury in my head - zips and zaps Buspar - These gave me brown outs of the brain Xanax - I put this last but I was on it for 6 years... it was great! BUT ... in time .25 didn't work, .5 gave me a hangover... 1mg wouldn't work if I was really scared - like going in an MRI Machine. When I tried to come off - my brain EXPLODED in Withdrawl. I tried many courses - as my DR just told me "stop it - it's ok"... That was when the Tinnitus and Pressure started (4/2016) along with the agoraphobia. I suffered through a water taper I came up with and it worked to a point and was too hard. My Dr. humored me giving me Valium to taper. It SORT of Worked but he gave me only 2 weeks and low dose. I pushed through and now I'm 9 weeks off (i did cheat on a 0.125 two weeks ago). Finally I'm trying St. John's Wort I followed an online suggestion ... but I did it wrong... by end of week 2 I got a massive Burnout feeling, brain buzzing and a STOP EVERYTHING cry in my sub-conscious mind... never had this happen. I dropped my cleaning tools and went to bed. I have not felt good since. I cut down to ONE 300 pill per day... but i'm all over the place. I now wonder if I even have a Serotonin issue? How do I know it's not an Acetylcholine issue? Or just a lack of GABA & Dopamine? (I took up a study of Neuro-Science among other medical classes... of course it's all theory) I'm just not happy, I can't play guitar or do anything I love... I don't care to eat. Thank you all for whatever input you have -Rob
  10. rnnstr91: PGAD

    I have developed PGAD 8 times in my life while on a variety of antidepressants (Prozac, Zoloft, Pristiq, Lexapro, Seroquel, Lamotrigine, and most recently Amitryptiline). On Prozac it was severe and lasted 2 years. The other times it went away within days/weeks of stopping the drugs. I’ve currently had a mild case caused by Amytripline for 3 weeks now. I stopped the drug two weeks after starting it as soon as I felt the pgad begin. I am worried this time it won’t go away which is terrifying because there isn’t really a successful treatment for it. This is my fear every time I get it. My issue is that I have severe depression, anxiety and depersonalization disorder and feel I cannot get better without psych meds. Each time I try a new psych med it either gives me PGAD or doesn’t help my depression/anxiety. I am at a loss for what to do. I have an amazing life that I can’t enjoy and since I can’t seem to tolerate any drugs even a partial recovery seems hopeless. Any advice would be appreciated! Not sure what to do anymore.
  11. Hi all, I'm a 24-year-old female who has been on some kind of antidepressant since I was 17. 1. Zoloft, 1 year (2011) 2. Wellbutrin, 2-3 months (end of 2011 in conjunction with Zoloft) 3. Viibryd, 6 months (2012) 4. Buspar, 2-3 months (2012) 5. Lexapro, 1 year (late 2012 to late 2013) 5. Prozac, 3ish years (late 2013 to mid 2017) I started tapering off of Prozac this April, going down by 10mg a month for 7 months. I was on an 80mg per day dose for at least 2.5 years. I finished tapering at the end of October 2017. I didn't have any particularly bothersome symptoms until the last 10mg and these have persisted or gotten worse in the last two months. My biggest issue right now seems to be irritability. I feel like I go through multiple mood swings per day and sometimes I can't even describe how I'm feeling. My anxiety has also increased - fears about my loved ones dying or that I'm going to get into a car accident on the highway, that kind of thing. I know it's still soon, being only 2 months since I completely stopped taking Prozac, but are these all withdrawal symptoms and if so, how long can I expect them to last? Sometimes I wonder if I even remember was normal feels like anymore, since I've been on antidepressants since before I was even an adult. I felt pretty good on Prozac moodwise, but disliked the weight gain that resulted (65 pounds!) and I worried about the long term effects on being on it.
  12. Hello all, I have been taking sertraline for some years now for clinical depression. When I started to quit smoking, I took a course of Zyban for 4 months. I felt better almost immediately as the anti depressant effects of the drug made me feel sunnier. When the drug ran out, I felt awful and tried to get it again, but in Australia, it can't be prescribed twice within a year period. After a couple of years I had it prescribed again. I ran out a few days ago, and feel anxious and upset. I hadn't been told about tapering off the drug, but as I was loathe to give it up, I took 150 per day instead of 300 to make it last longer. I previously asked a doctor to prescribe me Zyban instead of Sertraline but he said no. Zyban wasn't for anti depressant use. I'm scared I'll get suicidal again which I haven't been for about a year. Has anyone successfully swapped sertraline for Wellbutrin?
  13. I am finding it more and more aggravating every time I read the words, "Depression is a highly treatable illness." It's simplistic and misleading. Professionals hardly spend time with the patients who supposedly have this so-called "highly treatable illness." Anyway, it's not just one illness; it's a lot more complicated than that. This comment convinces people that they are not entering very dangerous territory when they agree to the designation of "depressed patient." I guess I'm just looking back to when this all started for me and the fact that I wasn't presented with alternatives to mood and brain altering chemicals. I took the rose-covered path, and now I am paying a high price. I don't feel angry at the people who tried to help me and believed in what they were doing, but I do feel angry--just trying not to turn it inward and trying to look forward to a better future.
  14. I haven't been able to resist going back to bed in the mornings. Sleep is the only relief I get from my depression. I'm socially isolated because I feel I cannot talk honestly to anyone, and it is too hard for me to pretend to be normal. I just go on the computer, try to watch tv, and stare into space most of the time. I have managed to go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I seem better in the evenings when I have no demands on me at all. I go to bed at 11:30 every night, wake up at 6:30, go back till 7:30, get up briefly then go back until 10:30. I'm on 10 mg. of fluoxetine (prozac) per day plus a multivitamin, fish oil, and vitamin d. I am a retired teacher and have opportunities to substitute every day. At night I tell myself I will sign up in the morning, but when the morning comes all I want to do is escape in sleep.
  15. I know that there is no definitive answer to this question and I've read the articles and information that is available about the windows and waves pattern of recovery. I'm just curious to know what people's personal experiences are related to recovery? I haven't seen any improvement in my memory, concentration or depressive symptoms, and I've noticed the development of some concerning NEW withdrawal symptoms. Last night I went out and had some drinks with a coworker, I know that this is unwise since it can further throw your central neuro system off balance, but I had a stressful weekend and I didn't see the harm in a few drinks. I'm not too proud to admit that I was oh so totally underestimating how terrible of an idea this was. I've had a couple of drinks here and there since beginning my taper from Wellbutrin, but I never anticipated how bad it could effect me if I drank more than my usual one or two drinks. I had four drinks yesterday afternoon, and I came home and felt like I was going to come out of my skin. I felt more agitated than I've ever felt, and I felt like I needed to be constantly moving or I would go crazy. This was the most bizarre sensation! I felt like I needed to hit something, and my fiancee took me on a walk so that I could try to get some of my irritability and agitation out of my system. This helped enough to where I could finally go pass out on my couch. I woke up this morning and I was mortified and more embarrassed than I've ever been about anything. I feel so sorry for my fiancee having to put up with me when I'm like that, but I also don't know what I would do without him. He's a god send, and I'm not sure how I would get through this without him. Does anyone know if there is a specific symptom pattern when we are healing, or is the way we heal totally specific to the individual? I'm hoping that since I'm seeing all of these new emerging symptoms that they are a sign that my brain is trying to heal in other areas. It's difficult to remain positive when there's so little literature in circulation about what to expect during withdrawal.
  16. I can't remember ever being happy. I never felt like I fit in and relationships were hard to foster. I felt like an outcast, drawing on my musical and visual influences to drive home that point. Listening to Blind Melon I had my first suicide attempt. After that in 2008 I was put on 20mg of Prozac (medicine is right but dose could have been a little higher, it was a long time ago). From there I stayed on Prozac until 2010 and stayed medication free until my anxiety became so crippling that I couldn't walk in a gym around acquaintances in 2012. Then, I was put on Bupropion which was a huge failure and then Paxil, which I stuck with Until 2014 before it's effects dwindled. During that time my depression became unbearable and I couldn't be by myself without crying. I had to leave school my senior year for 3 months and reset everything, return to therapy and look for a new medication. Eventually mid-way through my freshman year of college at the I was given cymbalta at the end of 2014. i thought I finally found it. While there was ups and downs the cymbalta helped tremendously, I almost went off pills completely near the end of 2016, and then extra stresses forced me to try extra Wellbutrin with a cymbalta dose increase. This was a disaster and caused a breakdown and second suicide attempt which landed me in the hospital. The doctor switched me to 75 mg Effexor and it did ok for awhile but my anxiety was through the roof. After two months it was too much and my doc added 300mg gabapentin 3x a day. This is kind of worked for a month and a half before I started to lose my energy, have the racing beating down thoughts and the loss of interest again. Last month the doc tried upping my Effexor to 100 with disasterous results. Now I feel stuck. Its not normal to wake up with no energy and a loss of interest in anything. Have i I been on pills too long? Do I need to take SSRIs or Tricyclate? Tricyclate deal with atypical depression, which fits well due to my inconsistent mood and spiraling ups and downs. Im not bi polar, but one doc said I have characteristics of personality disorder, which would explain the "high" highs and "low" lows. I just need help. Im a semester away from graduating and I don't want to take a pause right before the finish line. I'm a leader in most of my major studies clubs and a well-liked person on campus living in one of the most popular houses at school. Why am I so sad? I just need advice. Get on new pills, get off pills, what pills worked well temporarily. At this point, I just want to get by. Please help me.
  17. Dysthymia

    I has now been 20 years since I started antidepressants for persistent sadness and depression. I've reached a point of total frustration feeling that instead of helping they may be exacerbating the problem. I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about in my life yet I'm in a daily funk. Does anyone think and feel the same? Perhaps I should start to taper one of them!
  18. Hi, I am 55 and have had several episodes of major depression. Two of them were treated with Effexor XL. The first time (16 years ago), I came off without problems. I didn't even realize that there could be problems. About 2 years ago I went back on due to a very stressful time that I couldn't solve with my usual coping skills. I tried to wean off last summer and had significant neurological symptoms. I thought I was either going crazy or had a brain tumor. It took me almost a week to think that it might be withdrawal symptoms. (Thanks internet.) I went back on and the symptoms went away quickly. When I told my doctor, he said 'Why do you want to wean off? Why not just relax and be happy?' Sigh. I have been afraid to try again until I found this forum. I am also nervous to try at this time of year because my symptoms are always worse in the fall/winter which is approaching, but I realize this is going to have to be a very long, slow process. I have some hope now that I can do this.
  19. Hello All, Not sure if I am posting in the right section, so apologies in advance. I am feeling quite lonely within no one to turn to on the same wave length.. I've been trying to get hold of a shrink I started seeing a few months ago. Left 3 messages asking him to confirm our regular sessions after a holiday break but he has not responded. I know that he is around, as I dialled his number by mistake yesterday and he did answer it. Unfortunately, I couldn't talk as I was not calling him. Anyway... The very sad is that the fact of him not calling me back, makes me feel,.for some ridiculous reasons, inferior and a bad person! My worth depends on whether he calls me or not! I KNOW it's ridiculous and probably due to my general feeling down and out of sorts but this awareness doesn't makes much of the difference... I also feel like a "bad " person, this feeling I'd experienced even before taking the meds so it's not a withdrawal..Probably, this badness has some routs in my childhood, whatever, now it feels real as ever... Sorry for putting it out there, I don't know who to turn too. After all, my psychotherapist is ignoring me (probably I've done something wrong, "bad girl "). Anyway, thank you for reading it and any thoughts, words of the encouragement would be appreciated... F47 PS Really, getting disappointed with the psychoanalysts here in France..
  20. Hi everyone -- I am currently on week 7 of being off of 20 mg of Escitalopram. The issue is, I'm not getting better as far as my mood. I'm extremely weepy, have lost a desire to cook (I barely eat or feel hungry), have lost a drive for basically anything except exercise and work (because I need it to survive of course). Further, this summer (right before I quit the drugs) my boyfriend broke up with me (due to his own depression/issues), I moved into a new apartment in a new city on my own (with not many friends in said city besides my ex-boyfriends family), and my job title changed/wasn't what I expected/lacks a routine every day (which I need to feel stable.) Because of this, I am uncertain as to whether my sadness is truly depression/anxiety or if it's just a withdraw symptom that will go away. I hopped on the medicine about a year ago (September 2016) because of PMDD -- I found that i was extremely down right before my periods. I got on birth control as well to control my hormones, but I stopped that this past month as well. I got off the medicine this past July -- cutting down to 10 mg for two weeks then off. (My doctor said one week of 10 mg and then off but that scared me...) Anyway I had weird reactions as far as feeling extremely dizzy, not feeling like i was in my body, and having a hard time talking to people/interacting. (Those have since gone away) I'm needing advice on whether I should reinstate or just wait it out. I'm beginning to feel helpless because everyone says "just give it time" but when I don't feel better over time -- I begin to feel like a failure and feel worse. I now feel super hopeless and begin getting anxious about situations that may or may not be real (mostly relating back to my previous relationship.) I have friends and family who support me being off of it -- I am taking calcium, magnesium, b12 and vitamin c supplements daily. I also have friends who tell me I got off at the wrong time and think I need to be on it. Quite frankly, I feel worse now on a daily basis than I did before I even got on the medicine and I'm just regretting ever starting to be honest. Any advice from people who actually have experience on this would be so helpful. Thank you!
  21. I have been suffering from this unique sleeping disorder. I dream whole night continuously and wake up exhausted every morning. Most of the people think it's any kind of psychological disorder even doctors just prescribe antidepressants and sleeping pills. Familly members are supportive but they could only give advice like wake early, do exercise. I nearly browsed the whole internet to get an ultimate cure for this problem but got nothing except "the change your routine"advice. There are many old forums where people discussed the similar problem but now they are closed without any conclusion. I have this problem from 2014 when I was doing my masters. During the final exams and due to other circumstances I felt some anxiety so went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me 1.Imipramine 2.Diazapam 3.Trifluoperazine 4.Nitrazepam of different brands. After few days my exams over so I stopped taking pills suddenly from a night.From that night till today I didn't get a single dreamless sleep every morning wake up exhausted.there are many nights I did not get sleep at all. Since then I have visited many Allopathic, Homeopathic and Ayurvedic doctors, have tried several of medicines and supplements but nothing helped me. And you guys obviously aware of side effects especially in the case of allopathy like day drowsiness and brain fog.I also got my blood tested nothing significant but a deficiency of Vitamine D so started taking Vitamins. Till now no appeared benefits. It's like living in a hell, could do many things in life but first wanna get rid of this curse.I even tried spiritual ways. If you could help me in any way I will be highly grateful to you.
  22. I've been in a bad place lately and I could use some advice. Since April I've been going through a relapse of mental health issues, and right now they're the worst they've ever been. It started when I was coming to the end of a stressful postgrad, I started getting panic attacks, something I used to get in the past but managed to overcome through therapy. I then broke up with my girlfriend, which was a stressful affair. The month of May I spent entirely searching for a job in the field I went to school for. I did this while I battled through my symptoms, and I developed some early morning waking, bad insomnia. I couldn't sleep, or think straight (Insomnia as since resolved for the most part, or at least not as bad). I somehow managed to find a job in my field, and started at the beginning of June. The last 2 months have gone by fast, and I've felt awful for the majority of them. Still depressed, this aching feeling in the pit of my chest. Just feel very low. We found out today that they're not going to extend my contract past this month. So it's back to being unemployed, and I just don't know if I have it in me to start looking for a job in this field again. I was happier last year working an old job. I don't even know why I left it. 2016 was one of the best years of my life. I can always go back to it. But I don't know if it'll make any difference. If I'll still feel just as sh*tty. I see a psychologist which is helpful, but I'm really bad at doing my CBT homework. I find it hard to track my moods, and what causes them. I just tend to feel this way. I see a psychiatrist, and he prescribed my Trintellix, but I'm terrified of these medications. I had an extreme reaction to Zoloft in the past, and all the research I've done, i'm on the side that these medications aren't as great as they're made out to be. I don't trust psychiatry. I don't want to put on an ever growing cocktail of pills. I don't think I have something terribly wrong with my brain. But I'm aching every day. Some days are better than others. But some I just can't take it. I'm not suicidal or anything. But I'm lost, scared for the future. Worried there's no point to anything. What has helped you guys the most? Thanks for reading. I wrote a lot more than I expected too.
  23. Thank you to the creator of this site, what a great resource! I have been through withdrawal many times and I hoping this is it. I was put on Zoloft in college for Generalized Anxiety disorder (20 years ago) and it became impossible to go off of it. I tried many times and always ended up back on because off of the meds, I was very depressed. I was not even depressed like that before I went on Zoloft in the first place. Thankfully, over the years I was able to reduce the amount I needed from 100mg to 50 then 25, and felt ok for a while. A couple of years ago it seemed the Zoloft stopped working and I was switched to Prozac,10mg. Also in the past few years I started talking to therapists, life coaches, going to workshops, reading everything self-help, meditating, etc. About 4 months ago I started doing Crossfit and exercising in some way daily, and meditating almost daily. Kundalini meditation specifically has been helpful. My body told me it is a good time to try again to stop the meds. It has been 6 weeks since my last micro-dose and I am mostly ok, besides for crying spells. It has been difficult to tell what has been from withdrawal and what is hormonal for me because I am already very sensitive and have awful periods. But in the past 2 weeks there has been a lot of sobbing that is more than normal for me. It does not last longer than 10-15 minutes usually but has been daily (sometimes 2x a day) except for today. If I can have ONE good day like today where I felt normal then I believe this is possible, even if it comes back tomorrow! I have also used many supplements before, during and after the taper/ withdrawal, if it is ok I will list them here, maybe others can do their own research on them and see if it might help them. This is all trial and error, after all of the attempts, this combination might be working. I have to add that tapering off of Prozac was much easier for me (physically) than Zoloft. Before starting taper I used supplements from the Road Back Program. This made all the difference in the world for me as far as physical withdrawal symptoms, comparing to previous tapers without it. (I am in no way affiliated with this company or any other company/supplement here) I found out there is an MTFHR gene mutation in my family so made sure all B vitamins were methylated. Thorne makes an excellent one. I use 5htp at night 100mg In the morning on an empty stomach I started taking DLPA. This helps boost dopamine and gives emotional boost for me. For energy and focus (I also have A.D.D.) I use Weyland "focus" pill at times. Lithium Orotate I am still learning about but I started that in the evening recently. (This is a mineral, NOT lithium carbonate.) Niacin 100mg I just want to send everyone going through this a huge hug, and lots of love, I hope I can help contribute in some way, and am grateful to people sharing their stories here, it has been a huge help to me knowing I am not alone (and not crazy lol) I already took the survey as well.
  24. Seriously, why? I feel like I'm naturally an ******* and I have to fake it to make it, all day every day around 99.99% of the people I meet because I can't stand 99.99% of the people on this planet. I'm on Escitalopram 10mg/day for anxiety and 1mg of ativan to take if I have a panic attack. I have now successfully been fired or quit from my last 4 jobs due to going off the handle on someone about something. It always starts with someone telling me what to do or telling me that I'm wrong. While that starts to annoy me, it's not really the issue of trying to show me how to do something right, and point out what I did wrong, it's the fact that they come off as a complete d*ck about the subject with a poor, aggressive, condescending, talk-down-to-me-attitude pretty much begging me to react in a demeaning manner. I can't stand being told what to do when it's done poorly in such a rude way and I can't stand being talked down to as if they're some how better than me. My wife tells me to grin and bear it no matter what and my only response is I can't; because I will not tolerate being treated that way and if they want to talk to me the way they do, I'll push back until they stop pushing, which 5/5 times results in getting fired. I feel like a sociopath trying to live a normal life, because I tend not to give a **** about how I treat anybody once they wrong me. A normal person like my wife would just walk away, laugh, ignore, or run and tell at her work with the things that happen to me on a daily basis at work, I on the other hand however feel the need to flip **** and get the last word in, no matter what it takes. I guess I'll have to tell this to my counselor when I see him again, because things were going great at this last job and I had one instance and flipped out on one of the workers and got canned. I just suck at life.
  25. This is going to be one very long post. I posted this on the other websites as well. Some things are changed and adapted to this whole site. Here's a person who's currently going through withdrawal syndrome and has experienced a full-blown depressive episode two times in her life that lasted for months. When you're depressed, it's important to: If you have a melancholic type of depression and have no appetite, you should, as I heard as an advice from a person who's been through depression as well, is to try your hardest to eat at least 3 meals a day. An apple for some meal ? A goddamn apple as a meal. Still something. Firstly, it would be really hard to eat and you'll need to force yourself to do it - but you still have to try your hardest to do it, which is the point of it all. Soon, after maybe a week, it would become easier and easier for you to eat because your stomach will expand for at least a bit more food than usual. Do that until you reach the normal amount of food. If you have atypical type of depression and have more appetite than usual, you usually eat when you're bored, under a lots of stress and similar. Use the method HALT (asking yourself before you do something self-destructive, because binge eating IS self-destructive -- Am I [H]ungry, [A]ngry, [L]onely or [T]ired ?). If you do match some of those things - that's probably a valid reason why you shouldn't eat at that moment (unless you're hungry of course). If you're actually hungry and tend to eat until stuffed, then try to eat slowly with hand other than the main one you use. Eliminate all the distractions around you and try to eat mindfully. Here are some tips on how to eat mindfully. This is what HALT method is. If you can't sleep at night, as people who are suffering from withdrawal, you should consider trying some natural things to help you (that are already listed here, so I'm not going to list supplements). Try avoiding nicotine and caffeine after 3-5 PM. I know that you can't exercise because your body feels too weak for that because of the psyche that's destroying you, so I'm not going to recommend that, but if you feel like you actually can do it - do it. Even 10 jumping jacks is still something. Avoid exercising 2 hours before sleep. If you feel like you're full of thoughts and emotions that are bothering you - write them down before going to bed. One also good thing is meditation before bed and meditation in general; It helps the brain heal after all. Listen to some relaxing music while you're trying to sleep in bed. I can recommend phone application called Relax Melodies (both available for iOS and Android). If you sleep too much during the day, it may be a side-effect of the medication you're on (if you are on some) and it will probably go away as soon as you get off the medication or are reducing the dose of it. (if the medication is the cause, read the common side-effects in that paper where's all the information about the medication and find out). If you aren't on the medication that could cause you hypersomnia, then I would recommend (for sleeping problems in general) - tracking your sleeping habits and just writing down how many hours a day did you sleep that day. If depression makes you forgetful, then alarm on the phone is always a solution to just write on some piece of paper a number of hours of your sleep during the day every day and see how much hours are you sleeping. What can also be helpful is writing the date and tracking for how long in general are you having sleeping problems and how are they manifesting. I myself struggled with this in withdrawal and it went away after some time of not using the medication. When it comes to motivation, it's important to start from somewhere. Is it brushing your teeth at least once in 2 or 3 days and then slowly decreasing the number of days to brushing them at least once a day ? Is it trying to do at least the lightest exercise that exists at least once in 3-4 days ? Is it forcing yourself (because yes, when it comes to lack of motivation - you just need to force yourself at the beginning) to write down what happened during that day, what your thoughts were in some important situations and how did you react, or at least one of those 3 things ? It really doesn't matter what are you deciding to do if you think that would help and if it's not anything destructive. The thing that could easily demotivate you is to try doing everything at once. Slow down, because there's a high possibility that if you force yourself to do things all at once and see that you can't because lack of motivation is one big problem, you could have another breakdown and, because of that, try only with one thing that matters to you the most. I would, personally, start with the hygiene thing, because I've had problems with it in my depressive episodes. Those were some major things when it comes to depression, now some small, little tips: Unfollow things that are triggering you into feeling even worse than you already do and follow/focus on some things that are more helpful. Reach for help on the Internet (and I encourage you to start going to the psychologist to work on some psychotherapy, since they can't prescribe medications), there's absolutely no shame in asking for help when you feel awful all the goddamn time. There are many helpful subreddits (on site called Reddit) with helpful resources on depression such as r/depressed with massive resource lists, many Tumblr blogs that are encouraging and are promoting recovery from mental disorders and many Instagram accounts that can also be helpful. Reading success stories when it comes to healing from withdrawal syndrome. I highly encourage you to do that when you feel really hopeless, that's what always helps me or at least, keeps me alive. Learn as much as you can about withdrawal syndrome and learn how it functions. Can't read and understand things because of bad cognition that is here because of W/D ? My mechanism for that is - read the same sentence, word until you process it in your mind and understand it well enough to continue reading. Try recognizing when you feel the worst: morning or evening ? Usually, it's morning, so try to create a list of coping mechanisms when you're feeling bad. Wish you the best recovery and healing. If you read this and have withdrawal syndrome - well done, you're so strong for getting it through the whole text while you can't think properly because of the W/D. That's all, my friends. I truly hope that this would be helpful for someone.
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