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Hello everyone, It feels good to discover this site - thank you all for being here. Right now I've run out of everything, my depression has swamped me, I'm exhausted. Doc queried increasing meds, I said no. I realise this would be a silly time to start coming off them, and I'm not thinking of doing that, but the need to stop meds is always in my head. I want to know everything I can about it, especially how to know when to start decreasing. My husband, who is beautifully supportive of me in every other way, is sure that the possible upheaval would be too much for our family. I worry about that too.

29 yo new mother hoping to get my 7 month old off Effexor breastmilk while I taper down from 150mg Hello, I have been on effexor since 2013. It helped with some sensations associated with anxiety but overall it has caused a disconnect in my body and brain. I went down from 150 mg to 75 at one point but can’t remember how it felt. then I began doing 75 mg and 37.5 mg a day. last June I went back to 150mg. I was/am suffering from ptsd from events that happened early last year and i thought going up would help but it hasnt. I plan to start my taper in a week using a scale to measure out the reduction after calculating the 10 percent. my contents inside of 150mg capsule weighs 468 mg which makes me more nervous to taper because math is hard and if it actually weighed 150 id feel better. I plan to ween my 7 month old off breast milk after 1 years old because im afraid the longer hes on my effexor milk the worse it will be for him later

Hi Everyone, I am just going to jump right into this. I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance. I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal. I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess. I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you.

Hi! As a little personal introduction, I’m a 22 year old living on the east coast of the United States. I’m currently in the process of withdrawals after tapering off of Effexor, which I was originally prescribed in October of 2022. I have a vague explanation of my taper off of Effexor XR in my signature, but I thought I’d elaborate more here. I tapered very slowly from 225mg starting in June of last year, reaching 37.5 in May of this year and taking beads out from there until I got to only five beads left. I experienced little to no withdrawal symptoms from any of these drops in dosage. On the 17th of this month, I dropped from 5 beads to none, and haven’t taken any since. Obviously, this still has not been smooth sailing as I’m posting here. Dizziness and nausea/very occasional vomiting have been the biggest offenders in terms of withdrawal symptoms. By very occasional, I’ve only actually thrown up once (yesterday). I’ve taken Dramamine and Zofran as well as the occasional Benadryl to help, and am currently at day 12 of withdrawals. I was recommended to come here, and am partially looking for advice along with reassurance on dealing with the rest of the symptoms until they finally pass. Thanks!

Hi all, I've been taking medications for most of my life as I have conditions like autism, adhd, depression and anxiety. I'm obese and also have issues with emotional eating, binge eating, sleep apnea (though I use cpap for that), possible ptsd. My journey starts with me in my teen years quickly developing anger issues (likely because that was when I started to get obsessed/addicted with politics and negative news online) and got put on different antidepressants and antipsychotics. I don't remember all the details, but the first antipsychotic I took made me extremely tired and I gained lots of weight, ending in me getting expelled because I couldn't keep up and eventually had a huge panic attack. Eventually over the years I'm on abilify 5mg and effexor XR 350mg, but I couldn't function back then either due to what feels like chronic fatigue syndrome. Out of desperation in 2020 I asked my psychiatrist about coming off effexor and seeing if it helped the fatigue, so he took me off it by decreasing 75mg every two weeks. In hindsight this was a terrible idea as it gave me bad withdrawal and also functional reflux/ibs (heart burn, bitter taste, insomnia because of the pain, lots of uncontrollable burping). I still have that to this day years later though it's not as bad as I'm not as obese. But it did start about a week after I came off effexor. I went on 80mg Omeprazole and 40mg Famotadine daily. They didn't help but I've been stuck on them for years, though thankfully have made SOME progress as I've managed to get to 50mg omeprazole last year. Later in 2021 I tapered myself off abilify 5mg since my psychiatrist and my parents were convinced I needed it for the anger issues. I did it over half a year slowly decreasing it from a liquid form. Thankfully it went ok though I was very scared doing so!! It turned out my "anger issues caused by the autism" was not in fact correct, despite what everyone around me then was telling me. Unfortunately getting off both drugs did not in fact get rid of my fatigue. The functional reflux makes my sleep worse now. In 2022 I went back on 37.5mg effexor and later increased to 75mg. I can't tell if it helped, but I did start pushing myself harder in life and making a lot of progress for myself generally. Despite getting new side effects like sexual dsyfunction and worse vision. Currently I'm thinking of switching to prozac as I've heard about it's long half life, and I think that would be better for me long term. Sadly I've repeatedly tried and failed to taper down. Recently switched from 75mg extended release to the immediate release and gotten bad headaches, worse vision and sexual dsyfunction, more anxiety. I'd previously read about using half XR and half normal for tapering help, but my doctor wouldn't allow me to continue this as she believes it's making my withdrawal worse, so I'm now on just 75mg immediate. I was previously on half normal and half XR and after a few weeks most of the side effects had either gone or significantly improved. They're worse again now though... 😕 Regardless, I feel I want to push on and get through this. After I stabilize I want to slowly decrease my effexor (because my doctor wants me to go from 75mg to 0mg effexor and swap it immediately with prozac, but I don't want to do this as I don't want worse withdrawal). Anyways, hope I can get along with everyone here

Today is Day 5 of withdrawals. I couldn’t do much over the weekend when I finally figured out what was going on with me. I was watching myself observe the thoughts, telling myself they’re just thoughts and they will eventually pass, then they turn into sensations… too hot, too cold, sweating, dizzy, sharp pain… escape into sleep, short nightmare, escape into waking up, more thoughts, more dizziness, tears, arguing with reality, knowing it will pass… not sure how long it will take, sobs, repeat! my mother died suddenly in July last year, at the age of 64. Between grief and stress, I started experiencing about 10 migraines a month which eventually took me to a neurologist. The neurologist put me on Venlafaxine in Dec (4 months ago), starting with 37.5mg XR and then tripling that amount. When I saw him a month ago and told him nothing had changed, he told me to taper off within the next month… so I did. Wednesday last week was my last 37.5mg dose. By Thursday, I was feeling all of the symptoms, unsure of what was going on. By Friday, I started to look up venlafaxine withdrawal. By Saturday, I called my doc’s office to speak to the on-call doc, and was told that the they would be notified and would call me back. 1.5 hours later, a doc calls me back and says she’ll check in with someone else and will call me back. 2 hours later I called her back and I’m told they’re the in-patient on-call docs and not out-patient so they can’t help me. I start the process all over again and finally got hold of the on-call neurologist who told me that he doesn’t have much experience with venlafaxine and doesn’t think there’s anything he can do to help me 🤦🏻‍♀️ His only suggestions were start taking it again until I can get hold of my neurologist on Monday, even at the risk of having to go through this withdrawal all over again… or just ride it out. He says: I can write you a prescription for 25 mg… I say: Ok, do you know of any pharmacies open now? (It was 7pm) He says: They’re all open. I say: I just googled pharmacies near me and they’re all closed. He says: I don’t know what to tell you. Me: So where are you going to send the script to? Him: I don’t know. Me: Can you just send it to me and I will figure it out? … Me: Are you writing it for extended release or immediate release? Him: Immediate release. Me: But I was on XR? What happens if I take it and 8 hours later, I’m in the same boat when it wears off? Him: Take it again. Me: That means I would possibly be on 50mg when I had already tapered down to 37.5 mg. Is there someone you can call and ask? him: No. by Sunday (yesterday), I start to look for support groups on fb. I have had great experiences with iron deficiency fb groups so I thought I’d give it a go. I joined the tapering off Venlafaxine group. I posted a message with a double negative (English grammar that the moderator wasn’t familiar with stating that “I’m not NOT open to reinstating”). despite me repeating over and over again that I AM open to reinstating and that I can rewrite the message (in fact, from everything I have read over the past few days, I think this might be the only way out of this hell, but I need help and support). I tell the moderator that I am afraid, and that she’s misunderstanding me. She tells me she has never heard of a double negative. I told her, I’m not trying to argue about grammar, that I am seeking support and can rewrite my post so that it clarifies. I tell her that I understand that she runs this group and shares her knowledge freely which I appreciate. I tell her that I respect that she’s doing her due diligence to keep the group functional, but that she didn’t understand me. I think maybe my messages are not landing so I send her a voice note so she can hear me. This seems to only irritate her further, and she blocks me. once again back to square one. So here I am looking for some support, some shared experience to know that I’m not alone, and some help to know how to reinstate, I.e. at what dose. I realize there are no hard and fast rules, but it would be super helpful to talk to someone else who has been here, who can tell me what they tried, and that it’s going to be ok. Some general peer to peer compassion.

Until July 2017 I was an active, healthy female (58). I'd been extremely fortunate in that, the only health problem I'd ever encountered had been anxiety/low grade depression. At least that's what the doctors diagnosed 20 years ago. I was put on Effexor 75mg and then, some years later, reduced the dosage to 37.5mg. In January 2017 I started tapering off my medication and by July was off Effexor. I did experience the odd brain zap but could easily go about my daily business. Suddenly at the end of July, I started having what I thought to be panic attacks (but which were, in actual fact, heart arrhythmias) and my then psychiatrist put me back on Effexor albeit 150mg/day. At 2am on August 12th, I had a sudden cardiac arrest. Thankfully one of our dogs wakened my husband and he and my daughter performed CPR until the ambulance arrived. My guardian angel was watching over me and after a week in the hospital, where I was fitted with an ICD and was put on 30mg Cymbalta, I returned home. Fast forward to three weeks later. My ICD fired. Off to hospital. In for observation for a week but no arrhythmias could be detected Returned home and 24 hours later the ICD fired again! In hospital for another 10 days, had a catheter ablation but no structural heart damage was found. What they did find was that one of the ICD leads had moved and pushed itself through one of the heart walls which could have explained the shocks. So another intervention to replace the lead. I was still on Cymbalta and an anti-arrhythmic drug. Just when I was beginning to think I was on the road to recovery, my ICD fired on the 12th of November. Off to hospital. In for ten days where I met a fascinating psychiatrist who thought that my SCA could have been induced by going back on Effexor as it's known to have a potential influence on cardiac rhythms. And since Cymbalta is also a SNRI, it would be advisable to stop taking it. Well since November 17th I'm Cymbalta-free and yes, I went cold turkey which I normally would not have done under other circumstances. Initially I experienced, brain zaps, anxiety and irritability. However, the symptoms were bearable. I’ve been taking vitamin D3, magnesium and Omega 3 supplements and trying to eat all the right foods. I walk my dogs every day so am getting exercise and fresh air on a regular basis and I go for acupressure treatments (suggested by my new psychiatrist). I was progressing quite well until March 2018 when I started experiencing severe anxiety, dizziness, muscle tension and headaches.The situation has improved every so slightly since then. Am I experiencing what is known as protracted withdrawal?

Hello! I have been taking Effexor for quite a few years. I wanted to start to try to get pregnant with my husband and would like off the medication before trying to conceive. So I began my own research. I came across shocking information about withdrawals! I landed upon a Facebook group for tapering off Effexor and began my journey tapering (see signature) 5% drops every 4 weeks. after reinstating a small amount after a regular 5% decrease (counting beads). I experienced extreme symptoms. Usually I would deal with some nausea and dizziness for a few days after a drop, but this was much more. Trembling, crying, depressed, extreme anxiety and fear, unable to eat. It was so traumatic! Lasting several weeks gradually getting better. So I reinstated 10 beads and leveled out. And experienced a few bad waves monthly until finally levelling out. I have since been good. Functional. I have been able to drop a bead at a time. But at this rate I’ll never come off. I feel stuck. I feel like I won’t be able to ever get off this medication. I don’t know what to do or where to turn. Do I attempt larger drops? Do I give up? I feel so stuck! Each bead drop, I’m ok, generally some brain fog, maybe some heightened anxiety. But I fear going to fast and getting sick again. Any help or guidance would be so appreciated! I take 200mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3 and tumeric. thank you fellow warriors!

Hello everyone, This is my first post. I'm not even sure if there is anything you'll be able to do for me other than to offer a kind word. I evidently went too fast during my Effexor titration and have completely destabilized my central nervous system. I didn't realize it until recently, but I think my nervous system had already been sensitized by trying to come off of antidepressants two previous times. Starting in March 2020 I began what I thought was a slow titration of 10% per month of the Effexor. I started out at about 200 tiny beads and got down to 21. Then in September 2021 my central nervous system became completely destabilized and it hit me like a ton of bricks - adrenaline pumping through my body, severe anxiety/panic, and sleeplessness. I went to the ER three times for relief and took lorazepam and Vistaril because I was desperate for relief (I am currently not taking anything). I've had a couple nights since then that I've actually slept through the night, but most nights I feel so revved up that I can't sleep at all. I did add back in just a few tiny beads of the Effexor a couple weeks ago (I now take 30), but for the most part I am just going to hold steady and not make any more changes until I reach some form of stability. My life has been completely upended by this and I have felt suicidal many times. The only thing that gives me a glimmer of hope is the two nights that I actually slept through the night. Other than that, I've hardly slept at all. Every day has become a struggle to survive. I realize that I am on a long road to recovery and may never be fully free from the Effexor. I wanted to get off of it so I could treat my anxiety problems with more natural things, and now I'm dealing with more anxiety than I could ever imagine. It's a very sad irony. If I could turn back time I would never have started taking antidepressants 30 years ago. Any advice you could give me would be appreciated because I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now and didn't sleep a wink last night because I felt so revved up.

Hello, long-time follower here. I have a novel here but I would very much appreciate hearing someone elses thoughts. I am 29 years old and I have been on some form of psychiatric medication since I was 13 years old. I want to cry just saying that because I was never a troubled child. I was sensitive and full of life and love and hope. When I was 13, my family and I moved across the country (I'm in the US.) I had a dysfunctional home life and the move was overwhelming for me. We moved in July and I was deemed "depressed" my December because I was grieving the move. I was on several different antidepressants for two years until I was put on effexor in 2008 at age 15. I've never been able to come off. Why is this stuff even legal???? When I was 19, in 2014, my psychiatrist helped me do a five week taper off effexor. I experienced increase in energy, creativity, and heightened sexual interest. Then one morning I woke up sad and then within a week I was in the belly of depression. I became suicidal and planned of getting a bottle of vodka and hiding in my closet drinking until someone found me. I told somoeone about this though and I was hospitalized and put back on effexor. My psychiatrist interpreted these withdrawal symptoms as the development of bipolar disorder and put me back on effexor as well as 150mg of lamictal. Meanwhile, the effexor was causing me to have up to 13 migraines a month and sexual dysfunction. So in 2018, my doctor did another five week taper off effexor. So I was off the effexor and still on 150mg of Lamictal. I began to experience high levels of anxiety and insomnia. Eventually the anxiety to turned into panic level. The panic fed the insomnia and the insomnia fed the panic. My doctor then put me on Latuda and I experienced a descent into hell. And I do not put that lightly. I was in anguish, feeling like I was spiritually and mentally being put naked on a burning stove....the pain and grief sent me into a state of dissociation and I experienced psychomotor as well as visual disturbances. I was internally crawling out of my skin and externally unable to move. Every single day I was vomiting and having diarrhea. One night, my heart was racing in the 120's and I felt that familiar wave of anxiety induced nausea so I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom and vomited so violently that I urinated myself. It was my first breaking point and so I started the effexor again. So there was a week there where I was taking effexor, lamictal, and latuda. I felt like a terrified zombie so my doctor decided to increase the latuda. I experienced severe akathisia and almost became psychotic. So I stopped the latuda and was given a 1mg of ativan for sleep. The ativan completely broke the panic cycle that I had been in for six weeks. The depression that followed is a blur and two months went by where I essentially just stared at the wall and sat outside. It took two and a half years to feel fully recovered. Now I am approaching 30 and desperately want to be drug free. I am willing to taper slowly over several years but I want to start the process once my partner gets back from deployment in June. So here are my questions: how do I find a doctor that is experienced using the 10% taper method? How to I taper off an extended release capsule with beads? Is it sustainable to count a bunch beads every morning? Should I use a compound pharmacy? Is it stupid to taper off lamictal and effexor at the same time?

I've been taking Pristiq 100mg (plus 5mg Somit to sleep and 100mg Activigil to wake up) for the past 3 years more or less. I've been trying to quit Pristiq for many months due to HORRIBLE withdrawals whenever I forgot even one pill. I got to down the dose to Pristiq 50mg after enduring two weeks of those horrible withrawals and then they were gone, luckily. Now I'm trying to figure out my next step. There's no Pristiq 25mg where I am from. My psych told me to switch to venlafaxine 75mg three days ago, not the XR, the regular. It has such a short half life that I'm having horrible symptoms as well, even though I'm taking 37,5mg in the morning and 37,5mg in the afternoon. I'm trying to figure out if this is the best way to quit Pristiq. She says I should stay with venlafaxine and taper down from it. I'm worried about feeling awful. I can't function. Should I stay with the venlafaxine or switch back to Pristiq 50mg and figure out something else? Should I bridge with Prozac form Pristiq? Should I stay with venlafaxine and THEN bridge with Prozac? Should I just taper down from venlafaxine? By the way, thank you all for describing so accurately all the discontinuations sympotms of the Pristq- the brain zaps, the headaches, the dizziness, the confusion. What has this done to us? I want out.

I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.

Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals

Hi, first of all thank you for this platform. I really need help and do not know where to find it anymore… I used to be on a high dose of Effexor (300mg) in my 20s for about 5 years. I decided to taper down to came off the drug in 2017. The advice of my doctor was to reduce by 37.5mg every two weeks (if I remember correctly). The physical withdrawals were not too bad but I developed panic attacks after about 6 months and went back on the smallest dose of Effexor (37.5mg). I was on that dose for 5 years and I had less and less panic attacks over the years, I was really happy. Last year in September 2022 I was ready to stop the drug again to have a baby. I wanted to reduce by removing some beads from the capsules but when I opened it I found only one large bead. The drug I was on is a replica of Effexor called Enlafax-XR which is the funded drug here in New Zealand. I decided to stop completely from 37.5mg to 0mg which is what my doctor recommended. The physical withdrawals were fine and went away pretty quickly. I had more anxiety then usual, but thought it would go away with time. Fast forward to July, I took a multivitamin which included multiple B vitamins for a few of days and that combined with a fight with my partner sent me into a spiral of terror. I was shaking when going to bed and would wake up with a racing heart. This lasted for 10 days. I was good again for a few more months. Then came September - I would get quite anxious after my period and decided to take a supplement of St Johns Wort to see if it would help. I started vomiting and shaking in bed again and spiralling into thoughts of terror. Since I had no idea what was going on I contacted my doctor which prescribed me again Enlafax-XR at 37.5mg. I took one pill and was completely out of it the next day. My vision was slow and my legs and arm were rigid. Time was going really really slow. I told my doctor which told me I probably had had an anxiety attack and that I should try again on a full stomach. I tried again a couple of weeks later after spending those two weeks in complete terror, shaking and vomiting. At my second attempt I was able to reintroduce the drug. I became better after 1 week and that lasted for another 3 more weeks. I still had quite a lot of anxiety but the terror was gone and I felt more grounded. After 1 month of taking Enlafax-XR 37.5mg I had a big fight with my partner (our biggest fight yet in 9 years together). Things went downhill from there. I stopped eating, was vomiting all the time, my vision became slow like I was drunk, my legs and arms were completely stiff and tingly and my chest was burning from the inside. This was really intense for 2 weeks and some of the symptoms slowly went away. It’s been three months now that I am on the drug and still vomit a lot and have really little appetite. My vision is still slow and I have an inner jitteriness in my whole body. I am also continuously horny when I come of my period and can masturbate multiple times a day (it is really annoying). I do not know what to do anymore, I feel like I am at the end of the rope. I always feel on edge/agitated and nothing feels good anymore. I have three options: - Continue taking Enlafax-XR and hope it will get better. - Stop taking Enlafax-XR cold turkey as it cannot be tapered and see what happens. - Switch to the real Effexor-XR, see if I can tolerate it and start decreasing the dosage. I am scared and have really little hope. I do not want to make things worst for myself by choosing the wrong next step…Any advices would be more than welcome. *I have been on multiple drugs over the years starting at 18 years old. Citalopram, Seroquel, Wellbutrin. I have not been on any of these for 10 years. Thank you so much.

Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years

HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz

Hello I am 53 monthe out from a xanax CT withdrawal. It has taken me this long to begin finally feeling myself again. Complete hellish experience. Finally getting moving past brain fog. I am still on 150mg venlafaxine XR 150 daily and three weeks ago, started tapering by 10% every 4 weeks. So far so good. I wanted to make my first site post and make some friends here during my taper. I will add my info to my signature shortly. Wishing all peace in their journey. Hingie

20 years on effexor and buspiron due to depression - anxiety. One year on lamotrigin. I started tapering in 2016 because of adverse effect. Effexor 150 mg to 75 mg by addwise from doc. No problems. Next on 37,5 and hell broke loose. Reinstated on 75 and kept it there. While tapering I was sat on lamotrigin 300 mg over a couple of month. No effect! Started tapering buspiron 10 mg x 2 august 2017 and is know on 6+6 Started tapering lamotrigin nov 2017 and is now on200 mg. After reading here I got in doubt. Am I tapering in the best way? Recomondation?

#1 Help. I was on lexapro 8 years. Tapered off lexapro onto Effexor in sept 2021. Couldn’t handle it. Stopped taking after 5 days. Started Zoloft. Lasted 30 days. Side effects were bad. Tapered off to pristiq. Lasted 10 days and my psychiatrist said to just stop. I was trying to give my body a break so I could start a new med. 8 days later I went back to lexapro. Took it tonight. I’ve been having slight confusion lately, mental fog, poor concentration and not in touch with reality. I’ve always had panic attacks but what I experienced was not. My brain started to get warm and I almost wanted to pass out following extreme confusion with my heart/pulse racing incredibly fast. It’s like my brain was shutting down. I was so scared thinking i was having a brain aneurysm, stroke or seizure. I called 911. Went to hospital where I got a ct scan of my head. They ruled out a tumor, stroke or seizure: they didn’t check my blood sugar or run blood work. This happened at 10pm tonight. Got back home almost 2AM and went to bed extremely scared. I woke up an hour later in state of confusion to this happening again. The docs say it’s from the meds. I’m so scared I can’t sleep bc I don’t want it to happen again. I feel like it’s more than this and I’m actually going to die from whatever this is. It’s like my brain is broke. I was perfectly fine a few months ago. Idk why the docs couldn’t find an answer to what I was experiencing. I’m so scared this is something else. I’m 34, male, good health.. active

Hi, I'm a long term anti-depressant user, I've been on them since I was 13 and am now 31. Here's a breakdown of my drug history. Fluoxitine 2006 (13 yrs old) - 2011 Citalopram 2011 - 2016 Fluoxitine 2016 - 2017 Venlafaxine/Effexor 125mg 2017 - 2023 Venlafaxine/Effexor 75mg 2023 - 2024 Withdrawal from 75mg Effexor Feb 2024 I've had varying degress of success with them throughout the years but because of anxiety and ADHD I've had periods where I have just lived with the depression and anxiety symptoms they were supposed to be helping with. However, recently I've taken steps to actually pay attention and attempt to 'fix' my brain and get better. I didn't feel able to do this until I was in a stable job, relationship and living situation which I felt I was finally in June last year. At that time I'd not had a depressive episode for a full year and my anxiety was at an all time low. I decided to speak to my GP about this and we both decided that dropping down to 75mg Effexor would be beneficial. We decided this because while the depression and anxiety was low I felt that my cognitive abilities were being hampered by the Effexor. I would often experience brain fog, memory issues, very low motivation, almost zombie-like states where I'd just go through the motions of each day not really taking anything in and I wanted that to stop. After the drop down to 75mg between June 2023 and Jan/Feb 2024 I've felt a slight return in my emotions (Both positive and negative ones), less brain fog and more general alertness and actually 'experiencing' life again. I'd continued to not have any adverse side effects and very few episodes of depression/anxiety, especially nothing like I'd experienced in the past. After speaking to my GP again they suggested I come off Effexor completely and I agreed, as many do, without doing any research. In Jan they told me to start tapering off by alternating the days I take my medication until stopping after a month. I've done that now and stopped taking my last pill of 75mg prolonged-release capsules of venlafaxine hydrochloride on 2nd Feb 2024. It's now a month later and after feeling very little adverse side effects, no brain zaps, anxiety or depression, slight headaches, slight dizziness and slight tinitus I've suddenly as of last week started feeling intense anxiety and some depression continuously since then. I've tried to manage this with Propranolol which has slightly helped by not entirely removed the anxiety. I have been through therapy multiple times and have some coping techniques but this mostly seems like GAD rather than me worrying or being down about anything in particular. I first put a thread up on Reddit to see what I'd done wrong and was pointed to this community and introduced to the concept of microdose reinstating and that how my GP recommended I come off Effexor was bad. Hopefully I can get some more advice on what to do as I appear to be on the cusp of it being too late to reinstate and that possibly just riding out the withdrawal symptoms would be best. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.

I’ve been weaning Venlafaxine XR since August 2023. I’m currently down to 37.5 plus 31 beads. The biggest symptom I’m experiencing lately is paranoia. Or maybe they are delusions. Insomnia is slowly improving, dizziness has improved. I’m not eating much, have diarrhea a lot and these intrusive thoughts are overwhelming my brain! I’m wondering how long this will last. I previously weaned off Klonopin and experienced paranoia while weaning as well. Is paranoia a common withdrawal symptom when weaning from antidepressants, as it’s not listed on the checklist. My husband calls what I’m experiencing delusions, so maybe that’s what they are more than paranoia. It seems like it’s much worse in the evenings. Maybe when the Venlafaxine has worn off? I take my daily dose nightly at 10pm.

Orignal full title before shortening: 2 Months of lowest dose Mirtazapine, sufferin now for over 2,5 months of withdrawal I would set my signature up properly, but I just can't remember anything. Remeron/Mirtazapine withdrawal still leaves me with such a messed up memory that remembering only 2 things at a time causes me great problems. I can't tell which month I took my Effoxor back then, I'm not even sure about the year. Though I keep great track of the Remeron withdrawal, so at least I can tell that. If you don't want to read the whole story, I categorized the "drug" part in the Drugs section below. There is still some life story though. For the start, I'm currently 18 years old and a female. I was twice in mental hospitals seeking help for a problem that was solved with - you won't believe me - one sentence by my mom. One sentence just cured my whole condition. It may sound incredibly ridiculous, but seriously all of this that you'll read wouldn't have happened if somebody told me this one sentence at the very beginning. And I'm incredibly mad because of this, as I suffered and endured so much pain through the years because everybody was so desperate to prove that I had depression. At 13 years old I had a panic attack caused by a certain phobia which I mistook for suicidal thoughts. I admitted myself to a mental hospital to stay safe, as I was greatly scared that I would harm or kill myself. I spend there 1,5 months and they diagnosed PCOS-Syndrome (hormone problems) and "mild depression". They said I should spend more time with peers, as seemingly it was caused by having an inactive social life (I was quite the outsider at school and would remain. Not because I was shy or something, I was just always such an emotional-artist personality and had interest in completely other things than others my age, so I couldn't connect. Famous people or make-up didn't bother me at all.) On the contraceptive I felt much better, though it made me sleepy, but I needed, need and will probably always need it for without it my body completely breaks down, as the hormone imbalance is severe (more on that later). The phobia-episodes stayed away, emerging randomly for a few minutes sometimes but very rare, until age 15. I think the episode lasted there for half a year and little longer? They acted like panic attacks, up to 3-4 times a day and some days I was free from it. But I endured it, and though it may sound scary, looking back it actually wasn't so bad as I made it out to be when I went through it. At age 13 the panic attacks were much more rarer, you'll see why. So when I had those panic attacks, and I wondered why they were there, they seemed to have no cause, I blamed it on the contraceptives. So I was switched to another one, but I got very irritable on it and punched a wall for the first time ever in my life (I'm quite the peaceful person). The gynecologist didn't want to switch me on another contraceptive (as she was paid by this certain brand to only sell this one - literally posters of this contraceptive brand and calendars and cards everywhere in her place), so I stopped taking it. After few months, not many, my body began breaking down. I was dizzy most of the time, nauseated, I was constantly, literally constantly hungry, didn't have appetite though for anything, I was so fatigued I would sleep literally nearly the whole day, couldn't go to school, couldn't do anything really, and had quite the anhedonia. That was the worst, the anhedonia. Hormones can really, really do lots. Didn't have period for the whole year of no pill either. When my panic episodes (that I always called mistakenly suicidal episodes), returned I seeked help again desperately - and was admitted to a mental hospital again which mas psychosomatic in kind and didn't treat cases like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. 4,5 months there and no improvement, in fact, I got worse there. The therapist there was also a complete idiot and made just everything worse. He blamed my condition on the family (he'd wish he'd have such a deep bond with his mother), he blamed it on literally everything and called it "depression" all the time, though at the end of 4,5 months they still had no diagnosis because I literally did all paper tests they had and in all of them came out a very low scale of depression. They couldn't identify the cause at all. At first they thought Cyclothymia, then bipolar II, then depression, then this, then that, 4,5 months later we haven't got anywhere. Funny thing is, the therapist wasn't even fully licenced yet. He attended "further education" about psychotherapy. He barely knew anything. The psychiatrists there neither, because they told that "hormones can't do such a thing". Haha. I can attest they really, really do. I should have noticed he was not alright in the head after a few weeks when he told me I had sexual problems because I wasn't interested in sex enough. "Normally, people your age try around their sexuality with friends or so..." no thank you, I'll have my dignity. Next, I had an "oversensitive mother". She "worried too much." Who wouldn't about their child that has been unwell so long? "Normally people your age should go partying at night, and your mother doesn't let you..." first, I don't want to go thank you, second, yes, partying until 01:00 am somewhere in somewhere seems very safe and plausible. But my father who didn't care about me my whole life is the best one! The therapist tried to get me away more from my mother so I would get closer to my father and forgive him for not knowing "how to be a father", which I didn't do which again frustrated my therapist, and with every session he grew more frustrated that he couldn't manipulate me. Everything I spoke about in therapy I told my parents (especially mom), and everything that she spoke about with him in visits she told me. My therapist said he can't do proper therapy with me if I tell everything my parents. He sees a lack of "privacy" in this family. Everyone should have "secrets". What was unnormal to him is that we only have locks on bathrooms and on no other door. "I should be able to lock my door", he said. Which, if he really thinks I have depression, is the most stupid thing you can say. I won't even mentoin the documents I got when I got out of the hospital that he wrote, seriously you wouldn't believe what is written on it. -------------------- Drugs So after 4,5 months of no getting better, no improvement but worsening, they placed me on 37.5mg Effoxor which I responded to extremely quickly and really, really well. Within a few hours nearly my whole condition was gone. Even they were surprised that it acted so quickly, and that already the first one suited me so well, as usually people have to try around to find one that is good for them. Whether placebo or not, it did the thing it was supposed to do - so well that pharma companies could show me as an example of "miracle drugs". (I'm very sensitive to medications/caffeine etc., so I'm not surprised that a low dose works so strong on me). I had also very few side effects. I was placed a few days later on 75mg, and then my whole condition was gone. When I asked if antidepressants really numb feelings, the lead doctor said "no, the depression does that." Tells about everything you have to know about him. On my last visit to my therapist I told him they did nothing, only the drugs helped me. That he didn't like of course and in the documents I was counterargumentet that I "eagerly took part in all of their offered therapies". Yes, it was so boring there that I attended even courses that others couldn't go to and I went in their place instead. If we hadn't any courses - music, physiotherapy - I would take hour long walks with the others because else I woulg go crazy sitting there and doing nearly nothing. They wanted to keep me longer there, but I said "no", as fast as possible out of this place, they were all not alright in the head. And I got really fast out because my mother stormed in and shoved such arguments up their faces, especially my therapist, that he started shuddering. The locks, the "sexual problems", she had no mercy with words. Twenty minutes later I was out. A very few months later we went to another gynecologist, who is a fantastic one. There the PCOS syndrome was diagnosed again, and I was put on contraceptives again (my third) - I responded very well to this one. Unlike the first one, which was good too, this one didn't make me sleepy and I can function to this day without midday sleeps, which I needed on the first one. After half year of Effoxor I had to see my psychiatrist again, as the longer I was on the pill, the greater the "freezing headache" and numbing of the antidepressant came to light. Theory I strongly believe in, again THEORY - this was because the more I gained hormonal balance, the greater the serotonine etc. production functioned again and my body functioned more normally again - meaning, I didn't need the effoxor anymore and it started doing a little more harm than good now. So I was put off it, I was told to taper, but stupid me wanted so badly the numbing to go away that I did cold turkey. And compared to other cold turkeys I read, this one wasn't so bad. Dizziness, very strong headache, a bit of vomiting, that's all. On the second or third day though I took a 37.5mg pill again and tapered this time, opening the capsule and putting the little tablets out of it until only one of the little was inside. Then I had a week or two of mild withdrawal and it was over. As I said, poster girl for pharma with this drug. This year, 2022, on February my "suicidal episode" came back - and it didn't came back like before - this time it hit, at the same time, with such a panic attack that I hyperventilated so badly I got severe twitches and my eyes rolled up and teeth shuddered etc. an ambulance had to be called. They knew it was hyperventilating and I was calmed down with reduced breathing, because too much oxygen. It worked. But now I was left with such anxiety that I became extremely sleep deprived. When I visited my psychiatrist again (I had to wait 2 days for the emergency visit to him), he wasn't able to offer much help besides "taking up an antidepressant again". I said no, no antidepressants anymore. I asked for sleeping aid, so I would get a bit of rest after being much sleep deprived for two-three days. So he gave me a sleeping pill. Without telling me it's an antidepressant. Later I found out it is an antidepressant. Thank you very much. So I was given Remeron/Mirtazapine 7.5mg. When I started it, I became greatly suicidal, with urges to kill my myself and immense hopelesness that was drug-induced. During this time I seriously thought about assisted suicide (and still a bit traumatized because of it, as I never, never had before sucidal thoughts - the suicidal episodes were mistaken, I'll explain later.) I wanted to stop it after two days, but my mom said they need a bit of time to settle and then it'll get better. And it did, the suicidality vanished. I slept much more on it, not very much as since years I had disrupted sleeping, but this time only once a night and I fell asleep quite fast after that. Now, what is important to mentoin as it happened during the taking of mirtazapine, and I had one of those "suicidal episodes" my mom told me - this was the one sentence that cured me - "that it seems like I'm not depressed or anything, but scared." Boom. Done. It all went away. As I googled later, I found out what I had all the time was "Suicidal OCD - an intense fear of suicide and intrusive thoughts about suicide which leave the individual disturbed and distressed." This was also why the episodes got more intense and frequent in time - the more I was scared of it, the more intense it became. When I was distracted, it wasn't there. I remember when blood was taken from me it would disappear for a while, I remember the more hopeful I was the more it disappeared. All in my head. Ones own head, illusion can cause such suffering... fascinating. And indeed, the second I realized this was only a fear and not actual suicidal thoughts, all disappeared. And didn't come back. A few weeks later I would know the difference between this and actual sucidal thoughts. I was very alright on Mirtazapine, had feelings and so on, was myself pretty much. Problem was, the longer I took it the more paranoid-anxious I became (along with more and more damaged short-term memory), which would make me stop it after 2 months - and also by another event. I took CBD oil (I consulted it of course with my psychiatrist first), for it to help me further as maybe this would help my sleeping problems and I could get off mirtazapine. And I took the two together, and mirtazapine didn't react well to it. Got extremely anxious and with semi-suicidal feelings, kind of like when I first took it but half so bad- so I stopped the oil after three days of no improvement, but fast forward a half week later and the symptoms don't go away. So I had to stop taking mirtazapine, on 4th April. At first I became a bit hypomanic, my senses were sharp as never before, adrenal-like, nothing negative much. It went away after two days and was replaced by huge anxiety. It was lowering continuously over the course of one month, and I thought "not so bad", at the end, at first it was bad, but it was going away. 6th of May, it hit, and it hit really, really hard. I never felt this suicidal, it was like when I started taking it but 3x worse. It was accompanied by dizziness, intense nausea, extreme brain fog, anxiety, memory was non-existent, hopelessness rose to 900%, apathy, no feelings. Half of the day I thought about suicide and the other half of the day I was flat, kind of existing. The suicidality was intense, I could think about nothing else - it was nothing like the OCD I had, now I could really, really distinguish between illusion and actual suicidal thoughts. I felt, and still feel such regret of ever taking any antidepressant, I never was so scared about my future before, never regretted something so much. After one, two weeks it started gradually falling and the suicidality went kind of away, along with nausea, etc. What was left was the brain frog, numbness, impaired memory. But it got better over time, and I knew from the beginning it was withdrawal else I would probably have got psychotic about this. Now, a few days ago, second wave hit. Suicidality (but half so bad this time), now I have weird skin sensations sometimes, still much numb (I can cry very well though, I just don't feel the sadness, but the feelings are still there, hidden somewhere.) Brain fog, short-term memory still doesn't exist. Again, intense regret, I'm still so scared it won't end or I will suffer permanent damage, even though it was just 2 months and the lowest dose. What is optimistic though, for the first time since these 2.5 months I responded emotionally to music which opened a window, and I was cycling recently between withdrawal-window-withdrawal. But the fear of no end and permanent damage is still there, and thinking only about the slightest good memory from childhood makes me tip over into intense crying, as I'm so afraid that I lost now everything. There are so many things I still want to do, finish school, a good university etc., and I will only be able to forgive myself and forget if it all ends well, with as little damage as possible. Reassurement of "it was only such a short time, such a low dose, it won't damage you..." leaves me only with a bit of hope. In the past month I read so much about neuroplasticity and learned so much about the true face of psychiatry (especially through "Anatomy of an Epidemic"), and it left me in bewilderment and anger. Had I knew, then I would have never taken it. Never, no matter what and I never will take anything of it ever again. I only found about long-term use damage, so I guess from 2 months and lowest dose I will recover? I found in the Anatomy book that for antipsychotics, the rule is 2 months recovery for 1 month use, and only at the period of over a year or so it might cause permanent damage. I hope it is better for antidepressants, especially since I read so many horror stories I cried about with immense fear, and many I read with hope who came off after 20 years of various antidepressants and recovered well to 100% themselves. Often the knowledge about neuroplasticity, neurogenesis and success stories keep me sane. Incredible what 2 month use of the lowest dose can cause. If it shall end in 5 months, I will endure. I'm extremely endurable, all my life I've proven it. But there is this uncertainity, and it won't let me sleep at times.

Hello, I am 2 months off Effexor. I was on 150mg for 17 years. I started tapering at the end of October and finished at the end of January. to say it’s been difficult is an understatement. However, I am seeing progress. Some days my anxiety is extremely high and I’m not sure how to handle that. My body is always tense. I have to literally tell myself to relax. Going off Effexor was a choice and I don’t want to start again. I guess I’m just wondering if it’s going to continue you to get better (I know there will be tough days too)