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Before starting my history below, I just want to say thank you to everyone. You've given me hope. I only just signed up. I found your site about two months ago. I decided to sign up because I'm starting to see my psychologist and wanted to have something in hand for her, and decided I might as well use that info on here, too, and see what people have to say. Early 1990s (?): On Prozac for about a year. Doseage? 2009: Started Wellbutrin and Clonazapam (Clon) (doseages?). Therapist told me I could just take the Clon “as needed.” But, Clon needs to be taken consistently every day. I was having suicidal ideation and self-harm compulsions. 2015: I ended up in the pysch ward after trying to drive into a tree. They took me off Wellbutrin and put me on 60 mg Cymbalta. Tapered me off Clon - I was put on a minimal maintenance dose. Found a new psychologist and started seeing a psychiatrist. 2017: GABApentin was added to my regimen because of pain from adenomyosis and endometriosis. I eventually had surgery for those two issues in 2018. 2018: Tapered off of the Clon entirely. 2019: Tapered off of the GABApentin entirely. Nov. 2022: I started getting vivid, emotional nightmares. I wondered if it was the Cymbalta. After researching, found out I had been experiencing the following side effects: chronic insomnia, hand tremors, night sweats, muscle cramps, lack of concentration, memory issues, and the vivid and emotional nightmares. For years, I have had High Blood Pressure and high cholesterol as well as testing positive for pre-Diabetes. Cymbalta can affect BP (low AND high), cholesterol, and can cause Diabetes (see here: https://www.ehealthme.com/ds/cymbalta/high-cholesterol/; and here: https://www.verywellmind.com/duloxetine-cymbalta-1066950). Quote from the first link (I have worked as a journalist, as well as a copyeditor/proofreader and managing editor for peer-reviewed scientific/research journals, so have a pretty good handle on doing my own research): "High cholesterol is found among people who take Cymbalta, especially for people who are female, 50-59 old, have been taking the drug for 2 - 5 years. The phase IV clinical study analyzes which people take Cymbalta and have high cholesterol. It is created by eHealthMe based on reports of 141,667 people who have side effects when taking Cymbalta from the FDA, and is updated regularly. You can use the study as a second opinion to make health care decisions. Phase IV trials are used to detect adverse drug outcomes and monitor drug effectiveness in the real world. With medical big data and AI algorithms, eHealthMe is running millions of phase IV trials and makes the results available to the public. Our original studies have been referenced on 600+ medical publications including The Lancet, Mayo Clinic Proceedings, and Nature." Feb. 27: Started working with psychiatrist to taper off Cymbalta. Decreased from 60 mg to 40 mg (experienced headaches, brain zaps, diarrhea, dizziness, lightheadedness, no control over intake of food, extremely irritability and anger). March 20: At my psychiatrist’s guidance, decreased Cymbalta from 40 mg to 20 mg. April 1: Per my psychiatrist’s direction, decreased Cymbalta from 20 mg/day to 20 mg every other day. The side effects became severe, so broke open pills and took 10 mg/day in apple sauce instead of 20 mg every other day. May 8: 5 mg/day. May 23: Completely off Cymbalta. Oct. 2023: The insomnia, nightmares, night sweats, anger/irritability, uncontrollable eating are gone. Still have minor hand tremor, restlessness, agitation, diarrhea no matter what’s eaten, fatigued, memory/focus/concentration not yet normal. Sometimes emotions out of proportion to what is happening in the moment. At other times, emotions seem to be tamped down somehow (blunting? I’m wondering if I’m subconsciously protecting myself because of PTSD from Clonazapam suicidal episode). Happiness and joy are two emotions that I do not feel often. But I am slowly seeing improvement overall, so I have hope.

Hi, I'm Sean, I'm in Hampshire, England and I'm a newly arrived member on this forum. I hope to share experiences with others who have suffered the anguish of iatragenic illness and the horrendous withdrawal associated with SSRIs. There is much I could tell about my ten years on escitalopram and it's impact on day to day living and but this would itself probably turn into War and Peace! I'll furnish the details in future posts. As of now, the wonderful thing I can tell you is that after two years of tapering, I've been successfully SSRI free for 8 months. Withdrawing from these drugs is the most difficult thing I have ever done, but it is possible and the act of writing this confirms my experience is proof. To those of you struggling, please don't lose heart. I can positively report that certain things that were significantly impacted by the drug are returning; a return of motivation, energy, cognitive clarity, libido and a sense of purpose. All really positive. Any return of anxiety is managed through mindfulness, exercise and healthy living. However, something that has thoroughly blindsided me and for which I was totally unprepared, is the re-awakening of my emotional system. This has been particularly excruciating as I have been brought to the devastating realisation that my feelings of attachment and love in a particularly precious recent relationship were blunted and numbed to the point of apathy and resignation. So much so, that all the feelings that should have been there at the time are now resurging in the most painful way, leaving me experiencing extraordinary regret and sorrow at the eventual disintegration of this (partly due to SSRI-induced lack of vitality and libido on my part). I have no adequate way of explaining this to the dear soul in question, whom I certainly loved before but now feel for more deeply than I could ever imagine. Prior to this, seven years ago, I lost my spouse in unexpected and tragic circumstances and it seems that the grief cycle, which was again, blunted, is also taking hold in the way it should have when she passed away. I am so often gripped by bouts of weeping in sorrow and deep regret. I had no conception that I could feel love in such a profound and extraordinary capacity. It is excruciating and utterly consuming as, it seems I am mourning the loss of two cherished relationships, which I was never able to adequately grieve for. This, combined with the loss of career due to escitalopram-induced apathy and fatigue is haunting and devastating. It feels as if these drugs have stolen everything that was once beautiful and promising in my life. I'm now in my early forties, alone and struggling to make ends meet, it's a really challenging time. I'm wondering if anyone has any similar stories to tell regarding the resurgence of emotion? Does this echo with any of you brave souls out there? I feel very much alone in this and many don't seem to really understand. On the one hand, I'm so grateful being able to feel emotion again but on the other, I'm devastated at the utter wasteland these drugs have left in their wake. It's truly akin to emerging from a coma. Any advice would be gratefully received. I also have much to give and share on enduring withdrawal successfully, which I intend to do here over the coming weeks and months. Thanks for reading. The best of my wishes and courage to all of you fighting this battle; never lose heart and please always remember the light!

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/01/opinion/sunday/medicating-womens-feelings.html This is an excellent article. I would love to hear your comments and opinions on it. JR.

I am new to this board. I'm 24 years old now. I took Zoloft for 5 years or so - it seemed to help my depression - then eventually quit after some off and on stuff. I was given no warning whatsoever about withdrawal side effects (or any negative side effects) when the doctor prescribed it or else I would've never taken it. Starting around six months after I quit, I woke up one day in early December of 2015 with no libido (after a very healthy libido for all of my years) and very little feeling down there. It happened almost overnight. This bothered me tremendously and I went through a series of tests and online researching to see what the problem was, but only until about six months ago and no help from the tests did I begin to realize that this was probably related to zoloft/pssd, which I had initially dismissed because it started so long after I had quit. It occurred to me because I realized how unfeeling I have become emotionally. I accidentally and unintentionally offended a good friend of mine, who despite my efforts at reconciliation renounced our friendship and has never spoken to me since. I noticed when this happened that I didn't seem to care much despite the fact that he'd been my good friend for a few years now, which astonished me. I thought I cared, but I didn't feel sad. I felt almost nothing. I knew something was wrong. When I realized this, I began to notice it in other areas too, like I wasn't happy when I should've been and had no depth of feeling. Since I had lost my libido, I have become almost entirely food-oriented as that is the only thing that gives me any real pleasure in life, something which I just finally consciously realized about six months ago. Things that used to give me joy now give me very little joy. I don't feel sad, or angry. I feel nothing, except a burning desire to feel something/anything. I feel like I'm completely numb, sexually and emotionally. It's extremely difficult for someone who is supposed to be finishing up his last semester in college (and an utterly unfair handicap on my efforts), and these last few weeks I've really started to despair. Up until this point I've always striven to look at the positive and to be optimistic, but I have woken up day after day for the last 15 months longing for an emotional or even sensual experience and it hasn't come. From what I've read it seems like the FDA and big pharma have left me/us for dead - damn them both - with little research going into treatment to help people like us. What is the doctor going to tell me? I can't continue to live this way. What this is, what I am, this is not living. It's been 15 months since these withdrawal symptoms started and I've seen no improvement, sexually or emotionally. This is supposed to be my prime, but instead I'm just a numb zombie. Sure, I think it's unfair that my sexuality was stolen away from me one morning and that's extremely frustrating but really I just want my emotions and my depth of feeling back. I simply and absolutely refuse to live the next 60 years of my life like some livestock animal who's only purpose and pleasure in life is eating. When I realized that zoloft was the problem, I vowed to never to touch the stuff again in hopes that I'd recover. But that's not happening, at least not 15 months in. So that leaves me wondering... despite it all, would it be worth it to just take the damn drug again? Of course I hate the idea of being dependent on it for the rest of my life, but has anyone ever got back into it? Did your libido and emotions come back? If my options are 1. continue living like this for the rest of my life (which really isn't living at all and wouldn't seem to be worth it) or 2. be dependent on zoloft to feel anything at all, I'll take the lesser of two evils which is the latter. I'm sure some of you may suggest waiting longer to see if anything improves, which may be worth trying. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. It feels like I'm not very far off from trying anything, including zoloft again. Anything is better than this. Also, I apologize for any perceived negativity in this post. I am not someone who likes to bring other people down to my level - that's why I haven't told several friends and family members about this nightmare of a life I am living (or not living, since I don't feel alive). Sincerely, up until the last few weeks I had somehow maintained my optimism. It's definitely waning now though.

Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone could tell me how long it took to get your emotions/sexuality back after stopping ssris. I’m currently 17 months off sertraline and I’ve seen windows of my emotions returning, but for the most part I’m constantly empty, flat and anhedonic. I’ve been suicidal because of both this and pssd, which go hand in hand. I can’t live like this. I took the drug for 16 months in case anyone is wondering. I’m hoping someone can give me some information about when their emotions started to come back. Or, if you are 10 years out and you still have anhedonia (just like I know quite a few people who are 15-20 years off SSRIs and have both PSSD and anhedonia), do tell, because that’s useful information too. I just really want to know what I’m dealing with here.

I have been doing some research into the biology of anxiety. We're all here familiar with the cortisol spike and adrenaline, and how those biochemicals are key components of the anxiety we all feel during our recovery from antidepressant use. A friend put me on the trail of the limbic system - where these chemicals do some of their worst work. I did not know anything about the limbic system. Or why my spell-checker insists that I am spelling it wrong when I know that I am not. (Think of the spell checker as a metaphor for our damaged limbic system - it's lying to us). Here is a short definition of the limbic system: The primary structures within the limbic system include the amygdala, hippocampus, thalamus, hypothalamus, basal ganglia, and cingulate gyrus. The amygdala is the emotion center of the brain, while the hippocampus plays an essential role in the formation of new memories about past experiences. Of key concern to us is the amygdala - that's where the "fight or flight" instinct is stimulated by cortisol and adrenaline. And ours are broken. Now, there is no medicine or supplement to heal the amygdala - or any other part of the limbic system (though it should be noted that the hippocampus can be stimulated by aromas, and some people have had success with aromatherapy; I myself use lavender as a calming aroma). So stop looking for a magic bullet solution. However, the amygdala can be "healed" - along with the rest of the limbic system. And the way to heal it is to remind it of your good memories and form new good memories through experiences. It sounds simplistic. It almost smacks of "fake it until you make it." But I have been putting this into practice, and I am in my first real window of recovery. The way I did it was by contacting old friends and asking them to write me emails filled with the good times of our youth, of the times where the notion of "anxious" could never be applied to me. Where I was a hopeful, outgoing, fun person. In other words - the time before I ever took one psych-med. I have added to that the practice of not avoiding doing things with friends and family. I go out, I engage, and a float through the anxiety if it comes (thank you, Dr. Claire Weekes - go get one of her books now!). I will leave things there for now and end with links to some of the articles I read that put me on this path: https://www.unlearninganxiety.com/amygdala https://www.thebestbrainpossible.com/how-to-help-depression-by-healing-your-limbic-system/ Be well. Live. Make new memories. SJ

Thought this was interesting and very on point.

Hi, guys, I'm LeAnn. After 15 years on Citalopram for depression and sort of PTSD, I decided I should go of it in August of last year. I tapered off under my doctor's care and after about 8 weeks, I was completely done. I had the nausea, dizziness, tiredness, anger, laughter, CRYINGCRYINGCRYING. Still crying...not as bad, but because David Bowie died. I did lose a bit of weight, too, so that's a good thing. The thing that brought me here was my search to see if there is a connection between going off an antidepressant and heightened senses. I'm noticing cigarette smoking more, and it's irritating my sinuses. Maybe it's the new neighbors in the next-door apartment, or my withdrawing, but I had to buy an air purifier recently and have it going 24/7 to get the smell out of our living room, even with the windows closed. Anyway, there you go.