Search the Community

Hi I am new here, I was on citalopram for 9 years at 40mg and I thought it wasn’t working as well as previous so asked my dr for some cbt to try help but instead he switched me to mirtazapine on a 10 days switch taper(I had no knowledge on tapering at the time). I felt awful for the next 8 weeks so he then switched me back and I had an allergic reaction to the citalopram this time so he switched me to sertraline 100mg which still didn’t help and he then told me to stop with just a 2 week taper. I am now 4 months on nothing and have so many withdrawal/kindling symptoms. *constant heart flutters especially if I get adrenaline rushes or take any different medications or exercise * fast heart rate a lot * GI issues. * off balance, on a boat or drunk feeling * reactive to some foods and drinks *chest pains *brain fog *anxiety and panic *eye floaters and blurry vision *tremors and internal vibrations *weight lose, no appetite And more I just want to know if this is all normal and has anyone else had all the heart symptoms. Fast, fluttering and feeling weird. I get it a lot more if I do anything physical or eat sugary foods.

Hello to all. I cannot write much or often due to tardive dyskinesia (or dystonia?) of my right eye, arm, neck, tongue and face. Reading, writing and using my phone, tablet and desktop exacerbate this condition. However, I would like to add my voice here and say two things that I feel are important: 1. You will in all likelihood get better - much better, and 2. If a moderator suggests that you reinstate, please read the horror stories of those of us who did not have that chance before you decide that you "do not want to go "backwards."" I believe I developed serious side effects in 2005 or 2006 including dyskinesia, but I did not know that the drugs could cause that. Before that, I developed anxiety in 2002 or earlier which I did not have to any appreciable degree before taking Celexa. I sit here now in disbelief that I suffered from increasing anxiety for 9 years on Celexa (and 5 years on Zoloft), and the doctors simply raised the dose, not by a little, but by 50 percent each time for Celexa. I also realize now that I developed dystonia in my feet and toes and my chest and neck, but I had no idea what it was, and doctors' appointments resulted in no doctor suggesting the medication could be the culprit. I didn't even know the terms dyskinesia or dystonia. No one mentioned them either. In 2011 I gave birth to a girl. That very night, the OB at the hospital switched me from Celexa 150 mg to Zoloft 10 mg with no cross taper, no advice and no warning of the Hell I was about to endure. After many nights with no sleep due to this switch I finally started to sleep again. Then, over the next 6 years the doctors kept raising the dose by large amounts despite increasing anxiety and what I now know to be akathesia, dyskinesia, and various other side effects including cognitive decline, increasing OCD, and inability to see reality. I threw more and more amazing parties, and I became a hoarder. Buying things on eBay became my job it seemed. I became obsessed with organizing my home, but it was impossible without a professional to help, and I could not see that. Until my child was about 4 I was functioning, but I thought I was a bad organizer, a bad mother, and a terrible wife. After having had horrendously stressful jobs that I managed pretty well, I could not understand why I was so bad at being a wife and mother with a much less stressful job. Eventually, I showed some signs of serotonin syndrome and mania, but I was probably spellbound by the medication (as Breggin suggests can occur.) I believed I was normal, right about everything, etc., and my husband could not convince me otherwise. I enjoyed all the energy I had and could not understand why almost everything I tried to do did not work. All my projects caused a lot of anxiety for me and my husband, it was nearly impossible to complete any of them, and I would often start a new one whilst struggling to complete a previous project. I could not believe what my husband was saying -- that a professional carpenter, bricklayer, party planner, etcetera would be needed. I began to cut corners or abandon plans in order to complete a project or be ready for a party. I had a great deal of trouble leaving the house by 2015. I could not be prepared for all of the possible disasters while I was out. I had to cancel or be late to many activities. I couldn't keep the house, cook or do laundry or organize clothing, toys, kitchen supplies, etc. I count NOT THINK straight at all. I became unable to socialize well by mid 2015. I stopped working in early 2016. I was not willing to cut corners for work so I stopped altogether intending to start again very soon. I could never do that. I continued to develop dystonia of my foot and toes and my neck and chest on my right side and slightly of my left toes, but, again, I didn't know these terms, I never connected this to Zoloft or Celexa, and I thought I was just not stretching or exercising enough. In late 2016 I decided to stop taking Zoloft. Using Xanax had worked for a few hours for anxiety, but I knew it was addictive. So, I used it only once every 3 days until I realized that after it wore off I became very angry. My child was 5, and I could not bear it if I yelled at her. I decided that discontinuing Zoloft was my only hope. If I micromanaged my child and taught her to feel anxiety over every mistake, I would not be able to live with that. I knew which behaviors were harmful to her even though my personality was utterly changed since I began medication. I could not, however, see how harmful my behavior was to my husband. He had begged me to stop with the projects and the hoarding, but I could not, and I could not see how it harmed him. I did recognize that I was not perceiving reality, and that I needed Xanax to get through all activities that were ordinary or not. I marveled at how other mothers with 2 or 3 children managed so much better than I did, and it worried me that I could not work. Something was very, very wrong and it was very likely to be the Zoloft. I looked up how to stop Zoloft on webmd or maybe a different site, and I checked many others to verify the information on other "reputable sites." All I found were instructions that parroted the quick taper that the pharm cies and doctors knew. I never saw anything about this site or Breggin or any other doctor who was aware of tardive withdrawal, PAWS, etc with regard to SSRIs. So, I made the worst mistake of my life - I "tapered" 150 mg in about 6-8 weeks. I found SA after it was too late to reinstate. I am a person who doesn't trust the pharm cies. I don't feel comfortable with the high number of vaccines for babies and young children. I'm suspicious of the flu vaccine, statins, and, of course, benzos. I try to eat organic food and even if I don't I make sure my child has organic eggs and milk. Despite that predisposed mistrust of pharmacology, I never thought to question a quick taper of Zoloft because I believed it was not "addictive!" I had a honeymoon period for about 5-6 months until August or Sept 2017. I am now medication free for 10 months. It has been HELL a hundred times over. I am still experiencing waves. It's been a few weeks, 2 or 3, since I wanted to die, and all my symptoms are less intense and less frequent except right side bruxism and dyskinesia/dystonia of my face, neck, jaw, chest and eye plus numbness on my right side in my arm, hand, face, nose, eye, jaw, hip, leg, foot and toes. I am no longer living in terror and fear and wishing an accident would take me from this world. I still have cortisol mornings in a wave, and I need to keep my mind occupied at all times, but I am not exhausted and weak all the time. The insomnia I had in Sept and October is gone seemingly for good. There are many other mental and physical symptoms that are gone or are less intense. Thank you for reading and I look forward to meeting each of you. I hope you all recover quickly and take some solace in seeing the progress I have made. Peace, Rosetta

Hello to everybody! I am very grateful to get an opportunity to write my story in this forum, I am from Germany and in our country those severe problems with antidepressants withdrawals have not yet become very aware to the public, nor the prescribing doctors. It is really a tragedy! The tapering strips method, which seems to me being used successfully in England, the USA, the Netherlands aso, is almost still unknown in Germany. And in the meantime, I think, if I would have already known, more than a year ago, what I know now, all the knowledge, that I achieved, I would probably not be in such an unbearable and suffering situation, than I am still now, since the whole year 2022. Here in Germany is absolutely no help if such problems occur, after the withdrawal of Psychopharmaka, this is my sadest experience, and many others are in the same situation 😢 I can also read this in all the stories of the German Facebook groups who are having this title: withdrawal of psychopharmaka/Antidepressants. Nobody cares, nobody knows, nobody seems to be interested. And there are a lot of predjudices, there is very often totally lack of knowledge of these kind of drugs. The majority of the doctors are denying this very long lasting withdrawal symptoms, most of them still maintain, it doesn’t exist! And all they say, if you are refusing to Antidepressiva, there is nothing we can do! They don’t care about the side effects and all the other terrible and dangerous things in connection with the drug use. And because my side effects, which were getting stronger especially over the last years, I decided to quit with it, a very long time, I was not aware at all, that the problems which occured, the terrible Tinnitus, the Brain Zaps, the abnormal excitements, the sweating excavations, the furious extreme outbreaks of rages, insomnia, regular daily daily bouts of fatigue with leaden tiredness and then later being overactive again. For years I only functioned and lived in a bubble, and I was emotionally numb. It is more than a year ago that I stopped taking the drug, and unfortunately I reduced the dose to fast. According to my psychiatrists advice, I reduced the dose within only 5 weeks from 20 mg to O; which means 5 mg less per week, and this after my longtime experience of using Lexapro since 2004. How could I ever have been so stupid! If my beloved mom would still be alive, I probably would not have been so naiv, but since then I am traumatized forever, because of the circumstances of her death almost 3 years ago. In the End of January, 2022 I was finished with my reduction. And since the whole last year, I really go through hell until nowadays and I never ever felt so bad, since my withdrawal I never had experienced such horrible feelings and symptoms before! And my doctor\ psychiatrist still doesn’t believe, that all the symptoms I still have, are caused from the withdrawal of the drug. He maintains, that after a year, this cannot be. Even though I gave him really a lot of Information about the facts, he is still questioning it! 😢 Initially, after stopping, I had severe flu-like symptoms, severe nausea for months, loss of appetite, electric shock-like sensations in my head and other parts of my body, movement disorders, visual disturbances, severe muscle cramps. All of this has now subsided, within a year. But delayed, a permanent physical weakness has developed, especially noticeable in the arms and unbearable anxiety, heavily heart palpitations, plus severe dizziness, difficulty concentrating, brain fog**, a feeling of total insensibility, fatique, hopelessness and joylessness, cognitive disorder. A permanent state of chronic loss of appetite has also remained. And a permanent feeling of Unreality, very hard to describe, there are feelings of derealization I never had in my mind, and nobody understands, I hardly can explain. There are no spontaneous emotions anymore, I can't decide for anything, not even for the simplest things, I think back and forth forever, plus strong tinnitus, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, I live only in the past, have a strong longing for earlier times. My only emotional reaction and emotion is actually only sadness, a melancholy and sadness deeply anchored in me, which is a constant companion. Already when I wake up in the morning, I always experience this terrible indescribable feeling, which restricts my everyday life so massively, I am already on sick leave for most of the year and also have great fear for my existence, great fear for the future. I don't know how much longer I can endure this condition, I have been trying for months to achieve relief by taking various dietary supplements and phytopharmaceuticals, i.e. only herbal remedies, and have already spent a lot of money, in vain. Unfortunately, my health insurance does not cover orthomolecular and holistic medicine, only these expensive antidepressants, which have been prescribed for years, which are covered by the german health insurance. I am not able to smile or laugh, no joyful emotions, I can’t listen to music anymore but I love music!😢 My prescribing doctor believes my withdrawal symptoms, but says, this is only a reaction of my body, which means, that my depression is back. Well, the depression was always my company, since my youth, it never disappeared! He says, that I would feel so bad, because I refused to take another drug, and recommended Sertralin, in the meantime he recommended Agomelatine, that I also refused to take. Since a year he did absolutely nothing to help me with my severe symptoms. I was the one, who started to research in the internet, and I found a lot of information there. And thank God there a few people in Germany who are very busy and concerned about the problems which occur after the drug withdrawal, like Peter Lehmann, Peter Ansari, and some others. They were publishing very good books about this case. I learned a lot about my symptoms and why they excist. The majority of the doctors are denying this very long lasting withdrawal symptoms, most of them still maintain, it doesn’t exist! And they say, if you are refusing to Antidepressiva, there is nothing we can do! They don’t care about the side effects and all the other terrible and dangerous things in connection with the drug use. And the main question is also: Is it ever possible to reinstate the drug with the tapering method even only with small doses after more than a year after quitting with this SSRI? Or better through the liquid formula with a special syringe? But this method is still very unusal to be practiced in Germany and I would have to order the strips from the Netherlands. There is only one pharmacy who produces them, I found out. I am very afraid to reinstate even a low dose of Lexapro again, because I already tried it last June 2022 with a short period of taking another drug called Brintellix/Vortioxetin, which is said to be similar to the drug Cipralex/Lexapro/Escitalopram. My doctor only precribed it because it was my suggestion, the drug is not available in Germany anymore and my pharmacy had to order it from Switzerland. And the all the symptoms got worse and I was lying in bed again with flu like symptoms including shivering in hot summer. I am quite sure now, the dose was much to high for being used as reinstating drug, it was 10 mg, than i reduced myself to 5 mg. But what shall I do? I can´t live with this terrible symptoms anymore, I fear, they last longer, perhaps for years, I can´t bear that anymore. If I would know, that I will feel better in the near future, sometimes this year, but everything seems so uncertain and my anxiety kills me. The heavily heart palpations, this terrific bodily weakness in my arms and this dizziness, this very difficult concentration even for the simplest things, and all that, It is so frustrating! I am crying every single day. And I have great fear for my income, what will happen to me, if I can´t work anymore? Thank you for your consideration and your attention of my story. Best wishes to all of you who read this!

Hi All, Brand new here, and like many I happened upon this site after frantically googling after just over a week of horrendous WD symptoms. Here is my story and history. I had suicidal ideation at 15 and visited a doctor. The doctor took one look at me over his glasses and said, "well you don't look very depressed," but wrote me a script for Seroxat. That was I think the year 2000, and I have been on one SSRI or another (and Mirtazapine to mix it up) since. It was around this time last year (October 2022) my annual low mood took hold and I decided to actually take control of my own mental health. I had been bluffed off by doctors all my life and switched around SSRI's, but almost always ended up back on Citalopram. The diagnosis was anxiety and depression, and some wishy washy half baked, low funded group based therapy (CBT) was offered alongside drugs. For 20 years I towed this line, periods of highs and lows, things sometimes went well but my life always had this backdrop of chaos. Missed bills, final warnings, red letters, court dates, missed speeding fines, so on on. I insisted on further assessments, and had 2 very brief encounters with mental health clinicians, told I had GAD and I make it all worse by drinking/smoking weed, and or both. There maybe some truth to this, but the diabolical and haphazard approach to my mental health care was akin to someone licking their finger and sticking there finger in the air to see which direction the wind was blowing. Self medication is almost guaranteed if people aren't taken seriously. It was finally agreed after a couple more appointments that I probably have undiagnosed ADHD, maybe EUPD from the constant low key trauma but I am not entitled to a "proper" assessment because I smoke weed. My only option was to remove the crutch that in my opinion is keeping me alive and functioning, and once I can piss clear of drugs I can go on a waiting list for assessment. Currently estimated wait time 18 months +. At this point I have decided to disengage with medicine for my mental health care. I am seeking alternative therapy that at this time will require me to travel abroad. I don't want to go into the details. It's "out there" therapy that is making waves in science, and requires my withdrawal from Citalopram. I have tapered from 40mg Citalopram, to 30mg, to 30/20 alternate days, to 20, 20/10 alternate, 10, 10/0 alternate to 0. This was done over a period of about 4 months. We are very limited in the UK and specifically in my NHS area, as licencing does not allow them to prescribe the "branded" version that also comes in a liquid form for slower tapering. They also can't advise me to "break" pills smaller to attempt to taper in smaller increments. The WD symptoms hit me within about 30-48 hours of been on 0. Cold chills, muscle aches, a feeling of rigidity in muscles, brain zaps, heart zaps, cold and flu symptoms the whole shebang. I still don't have access to a psyche so am dealing with a GP. I suggested maybe switching to low dose Fluoxetine after research to take the edge off and the longer half life. She did her own research and agreed, so yesterday after fighting it out a few more days hoping it would pass, I took a 10mg Fluoxetine. 11 days after withdrawal. Today my head is somewhat clearer and the feeling of "G-Force" in my muscles has somewhat gone. I still have really bad tinnitus and brain fog. Brain zaps are still present but much reduced in frequency And that is where I am at... Desperate to get off but those 10 days or so were ROUGH!

Hello to all. Please accept my most sincere greetings. I know that all of us here are after a better life and the fact that all of us have ended up here by each other's side under one single umbrella means we all have what it takes to build a better more robust life. We are a precious community giving each other hope, helping hands and the necessary incentive and energy to carry on and reach the finish line with flying colors. We will all make it sooner or later. I for one have come into grips with weaning off of Nortriptyline. After almost 2 years of being on the drug for what initially was diagnosed as depression and anxiety, I recently decided to come off it. From what I had gathered mainly through surfing different websites and reading stories of struggles with antidepressants, I was confident that I my tapering has to happen garadually and smoothly, so distressing i was never instructed by my psychiatrist nor my psychologist about the importance and necessity of slow tapering. My maintenance dose was 100 mg for a year and half, then I went on a withdrawing process. I followed the famous 10 perecnt reduction for every 2 weeks. After almost 3 months, I'm now on 25 mg. I exeperienced a wide ranges of symptoms most notably tingling, paresthasia, insomnia and blurry and at times colorless vision on my right eye. Symtoms have become tougher these last steps leaving me with 2 major problems: 1. Some of my symtoms are so persistent and won't just go away namely tingling and prickling on my body and my declining vision quality with colors looking so drab and lifeless. I'm seriously afraid of continuing my taper as i feel this may deteriorate my current condition eventually leaving me with unstoppable poor vision quality as well as persistent paresthasia. 2. I live in Iran and the lowest-dose pills are 10 mg which are extremly small, the best I could do was to cut them into halves using a pill cutter with extreme difficulty. Now that I'm down to 10 percent of 25 mg, I need 2.5 mg pieces which is almost impossible to get. I'm stuck at this phase and I need some real help and advice from my esteemed co-combatants. I thank each and every one of you up front for helping me out. Good luck on your evetually brilliant taper journey.

Hello! I started my journey on Lexapro in Fall of 2021. At this point in time, I was very anxious, having panic attacks, and I could not enjoy any bit of life. I also had been getting married and recovering from C-DIFF. I felt like there was something so wrong with me. I never had suicidal thoughts but I was fearful that I would end up like my cousin who successfully committed suicide. My interpretation of mental health was skewed as I thought you could just "snap" as he did (there were not precursors for him, it was truly a shock). I was diagnosed with mild to moderate anxiety and mild OCD. So, I started on 10 MG of lexapro. I don't have the exact timeframe but felt super lethargic and terrible about my body. I added Wellbutrin 150 XL and increased my dosage to 20 MG, and then decreased to 15 MG. Panic deteriorated, I had some energy and I could enjoy life again. Fast forward to Jan/Feb, my husband and I wanted to start a family, I had felt very blah and couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. We decided to start titration in the Spring/early summer 2023. I successfully tapered from Wellbutrin with no issues. In July, I started my taper from 15. My schedule was as followed: - 2 weeks 15/10 MG alternate - 2 weeks 10 MG - 2 weeks 5/10 MG alternate - 2 weeks 5 MG - 2 weeks 5/0 MG - Moving forward: 0 MG. 9/7/23 was the last time I had lexapro. The first week off of it, I was surprisingly fine. It wasn't until about 2 weeks that I started to fall apart. My symptoms have varied: chest pain, panic, disequilibrium, headaches, nausea, reduced appetite, cognitive fog, poor memory, irritation and my least favorite derealization. Despite these symptoms, my libido is back, I'm starting to lose the +20 pounds I gained and my husband feels like I am a partner again/emotionally available. I am taking magnesium and catchecolacalm (I think I spelt that correctly) at night. Now I am looking for guidance. Am I relapsing? I really don't want to be on an SSRI while we try to conceive (I have a lot of issues as is with endometriosis) so I want to give the baby the best chance possible. I also just feel that the lexapro cons were outweighing the positive. But now... here I am. I am looking for some guidance on what to do. I see so many success stories on here, whereas I did not on Reddit. It was doom and gloom there! Also looking for encouragement- how do I get this tightness out of my chest? Thank you so much for your help and guidance. You are all angels on earth.

I’ve been on antidepressants since 1989; venlafaxine for the last 15 years. I titrated off Venlafaxine beginning on 01/31/2023, completely off as of 02/28/23. I am well and truly miserable. I know even though I am off of it that these are withdrawal symptoms, even though they mock depression and anxiety. My psychiatrist recommended and prescribed Auvelity, but I want to be off these SSNRIs completely so that I can better understand the nature of my GAD and MMD and what I need to do to get better. I have some .05 Lorazepam I break in half and take when it’s really bad, but my sadness, irritability, annd hopelessness are off the chart. What can I do to get through this without killing myself - literally? I honestly believe these are withdrawal symptoms more than they are GAD and MDD. When does this end? I’ve read most people’s symptoms ease after two weeks.

Hi I have been reading a lot of posts on here and I have a lot of similar symptoms and I’m very down and worried. I was prescribed 50mg setraline September 2022 for my anxiety and depression but only took 1 tablet as I had a panic attack and freaked out. I was then prescribed citalopram, I started taking in October 10mg for 2 weeks, then upped to 20mg for about 6 weeks but I felt dreadful on them, couldn’t really get out of bed and felt like a zombie so the doctor said to come off and said to just take 10mg for 2 days then stop. So my last dose was beginning of December 2022, unsure of exact dates but calling the gp for them. Didn’t feel great coming off them but pushed through as I’m used to feeling pretty dreadful with anxiety etc (I’m also autistic so I do get fatigued in daily life). I started to feel terrible at the beginning of February and have progressively got worse since, waking up every night having a panic attack, brain shivers, brain fog, numbness, skin feels hot, anxiety is pretty much constant, weakness in legs, short of breath, blurred vision, dizziness, tinnitus, vertigo type symptoms, horrendous health anxiety and constantly feeling like I’m going to die. Been to the gp a few times, blood tests, ecgs, infection tests and all normal, been to a+e as I was having seizure type symptoms and felt terrible but just being told I’m fine and it’s just down to anxiety & depression. I have had the most stressful period of my life the last year with family bereavements & illnesses, relationships ending, moving to the other end of the country, being out of work etc. I just don’t feel right at all and don’t see how I could feel this terrible just due to anxiety and depression and I’m worried this has been caused by antidepressants. Sorry for the essay and thanks for reading.

I was wondering if I have possibly damaged my central nervous system. How would I know or have that diagnosed? I tapered way too quickly off of Lexapro and rode out the withdrawal symptoms a little over 1.5 months. I reinstated 5mg Lexapro and most of the severe symptoms started to subside after about 2 weeks. I feel like I have put my body through shock during the withdrawal process. The first week I experienced the brain zaps which I knew were part of the withdrawals, but I was determined to ride it out thinking when they ended I would be fine. Then about a week or two later I started getting a weird dizzy feeling and began experiencing headaches. Following the headaches I began to notice my vision was becoming a little blurry along with concentration problems and anxiety beginning to take over and consume me. The insomnia has probably been the worst part of it all. I can’t get settled because I’m too anxious to fall asleep. If I do fall asleep I’m not sleeping more than a couple of hours before waking up and laying in bed anxious. Not knowing what was happening I went to the doctor to figure out the issue. She said I came off the medication too quickly and was experiencing withdrawals more than likely. I requested a CT scan to rule out anything major and the CT scan came back normal thank God 🙏. I do have a neurologist appointment coming up within the next month to get further clarity. I just can’t shake this feeling of whether or not I have done any permanent or long term damage. I am questioning everything at the moment which is unsettling. I just don’t know what the right path is going forward. Continue to take the 5mg Lexapro and hopefully get settled out even though I don’t like the way it makes me feel, or try to taper again and possibly experience this all over again?

Hi, this is my first post. I just joined. I don't know what to do about my situation. I started 10 years ago with Cymbalta at 30mg, but did not take it consistently until 2018 at 60mg. In 2018, I also started 15mg of Buspirone/Buspar and went up to 30 mg in 2019. I never heard about withdrawal systems so I just tapered off Buspirone on my own while I was on Cymbalta. I was fine at that time. Then I told my Psych PA last year summer/fall while on Cymbalta and no Buspirone that I wanted to get off Cymbalta. She told me to do it in 6 weeks, 60-40-20-0. So I did. And it's been 3 months and I'm going through hell. So I asked to be put back on Buspirone. It's been 3 weeks and I can't find the right timing and dosage for the Buspirone to work. I'm nervous, anxious, restless, can't sleep. I don't know what to do. I'm really hoping the Buspirone will help because I don't want to go back on Cymbalta. I just don't know what to do.

I'd love some feedback and suggestions. Exactly three and a half years ago I weaned off of Lamictal, Zoloft and Abilify, under my psychiatrist's supervision. He had me wean each medication for about two weeks each, which in retrospect is probably much too quickly. I was on that cocktail for maybe three years. I was on one or more psychotropics for a total of five years. Less than two weeks after taking the final pill, I developed insomnia. This has gone on for three and a half years. I have seen five sleep MDs, tried nine sleep medications, sleep restriction, hypnotherapy, every known and unknown supplement for sleep, every cannabis combo, CBD and combo, etc . And still have insomnia. I am being treated for low testosterone by my endocrinologist in case this is hormonal. I get my blood back in 10 days after being on testosterone for a little more than three months. About one month after the weaning, I asked my psychiatrist if he thought the insomnia was from withdrawals. He said yes. A couple of weeks later when I brought it back up, he denied it was caused by withdrawals. There are so many stories about people having insomnia (as well as other terrible effects) after getting off of psychotropic medications. But three and a half years later? Anyone have a similar story? Know where I can get help/answers? If it is caused by damage from the medications, how to I repair my brain? Are there doctors who can help?

I have been on antidepressants on and off since I was 16 years old. I am now 46. I was on Lexapro, 20 mg recently. Started in December 2016 after dealing with postpartum depression with my youngest. I recently decided to wean off, under care of a psychiatrist. He told me to decrease my dosage to 10 MG for a week and then take 10 MG every other day the second week and then quit all together. The last pill I took was on February 14, 2023. I felt my withdrawal was WAY too fast. It was HELL. I experienced all of the physical symptoms - flu like, brain zaps, etc. but have been feeling the emotional symptoms for quite some time. I am VERY irritable and quick to anger and feeling intense emotions. I am not sure if this is still withdrawal symptoms or if I am relapsing. I have family members close to me that always have been very irritable so it just may be my disposition and I may need medication to help with this. I decided to stop taking my meds cause I wanted to see how I felt and what was my actual baseline at this point in my life. I am struggling. I don't know if I should keep going without my medicine or start it back up.

Hi my name is Laura. I was on effexor for 4 to 5 months (112.5 highest dose) and tapered off with dropping 37.5mg first for a few wks and then started dropping 12.5mg every 2 to 3 wks. I got down to 50mg and was also taking trintellix that seemed to help with some of the withdrawal symptoms I was getting. As the dose lowered I stayed on it before tapering again lower so it would be closer to 4 wks before dropping again. I finally took my last dose on January 29th. I felt nervous but happy that I would finally be free from effexor. I was feeling good for about 3 wks when it all went down hill. Zaps started to happen as well as low mood and intrusive thoughts. It's now been 7 wks since my last dose and wanted to know when will this all get better. It does come in waves of good moments and awful moments.

I was on various SSRI's off and on (mostly on, as every time I stopped I ended up in the hospital) for the last 25 years, for various diagnoses of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and OCD. This last time, I see now that I tapered way too fast, though under the direction of a Dr., off of 20mg Lexapro over approximately 4 months. But, due to some bad side effects that I experienced while on SSRI's, I am absolutely unwilling to go back on and do a proper taper. The side effects were themselves anxiety-inducing so I don't see them as the "lesser of two evils". My last dose of the Lexapro was about 4 weeks ago. I am suffering from SEVERE anxiety which is causing (I think?) my most distressing symptom - insomnia. I am able to go to sleep at bedtime because I am exhausted, around 10pm, but I will invariably wake up a couple hours later. At that point, my anxiety over not being able to go back to sleep, causes me to (surprise) not be able to go back to sleep. During these long hours my anxiety is so horrible that I consider going to the hospital, which in my logical mind I understand will only make things worse. They will take me in, make me stay for at least 3 days, give me meds I don't want, and this will probably cause me to lose my job. These thoughts go through my mind and cause my anxiety to get even worse. I'll be shaking, sweating, trembling, going to the bathroom repeatedly, basically in no shape to get back to sleep. At this point I feel a surge of adrenaline when I even *think* about sleep, even during the day. I have started taking magnesium glycinate but obviously not with great results yet. Is there any hope for me?

I have recently reinstated Prozac at 30mg to due to being ripped off of them too fast. I’m on week 9 and still having waves, they aren’t as bad as they have been. I’m hoping that means normalcy and leveling out is just around the corner. My psych provider wants me to up my dose to 40mg, but I feel like 30mg hasn’t been in my system long enough to level out. My plan is to come off of them VERY SLOWLY once I am stabilized for 6 months. My psych provider keeps saying “You can try to come off it again, but some people just need to be on medication for the rest of their life and that’s okay”. BUT my anxiety was manageable and NOTHING compared to how it’s been with withdrawals. I was prescribed Prozac by a primary care doctor and I trusted them, but this has really sucked. Should I give the 30mg more time to build up? I’m only on week 9 Has anyone been successful of coming off Prozac and being able to live their normal life again? I’m so worried this fear and anxiety is never going to end and I’m just going to be stuck on this medication forever.

Dec 2019- May/June 2022 - I was feeling a little depressed during the Chicago winters. Someone recommended meeting a Physiatrist and I was advised to take 10mg Lexapro to boost my mood. To be honest, I had little knowledge on how SSRI works. I assume they boost your mood by producing serotonin in your brain. I had assumed people taking it during their lows in life. My doc mentioned that I may feel some side effects when I start the dose, but nothing was mentioned after discontinuation. I missed some months in 2020 but felt no side effects. My last dose must have been in May/June 2022 when I ran out of meds. I was doing well in my life, so I didn't go back for a refill. I was clueless about SSRI withdrawals or Tapering process. Until June 2022, I was living my best life. Ran my fourth marathon, got a new job and moved to a new city. Sept 2022 Life was running smoothly for me until Sept 1st week when I had a panic attack at night, around 2 am. I got over it thinking it was a bad dream. But it occurred again the next week, and again next few nights. I was convinced there was something wrong with my body. I went to an ER, they checked my vitals and said something was alright. but it occurred again, I went to another ER the next day, and they gave me 0.5 mg Ativan, it helped me sleep and I was discharged the next morning. I was fine for the next 2 days, but another panic attack took me back there, I was in hospital for 9 nights, they did all the lab tests, MRI, EKG but nothing. They put me on 10mg Lexapro in the morning and 70mg Seroquel at night. I was discharged and required to consult a psychiatrist and GP. Also, they had noticed that the ammonia in my blood was much higher than the range, so I was advised to take a Thyroid test. October 2022 TSH levels came a little high but not extremely high. (For Thyroid). I met a psychiatrist and she had me continue Lexapro. However, she said Seroquel was not needed for me. So, I discontinued that. However, life after that continued to be miserable. I was sweating during the night, Felt very anxious in the morning, vivid dreams, etc. I requested her that I did not want to be on meds. She suggested a short taper. 10->5->2.5->0mg. I took my last dose on October 26th. November 2022- thru now. I assumed that the worst was over, but little did I know what was coming. I started having vivid dreams, irrational thoughts, restlessness, electric shocks in the morning around the same time. I took a break from living in the US and came to my home country in India. I met several doctors, Physiatrist, Hypnotherapists but nothing gave me any relief. GAD, OCD, Depression, Bad energy attack etc. are different opinions given by experts. It is relapse of depression and OCD is the recommendation from the last psychiatrist I have met. This is when I found SA and things started to make sense. I am probably going through a late withdrawal. Some of the symptoms like sweating at night, brain zaps have left but I am going through anxiety, no motivation, but the worst being the past thoughts and fearful memories. For instance, any time I see a motorbike, a past memory of an accident resurfaces. I am scared of heights, Even looking at tall buildings gives me anxiety, there is a dozen such things that I am afraid of. I am not sure what this exactly is, whether it's anxiety disorder, phobia or OCD thoughts as the last psychiatrist I met mentioned. He advised me to start Fluvoxamine (Luvox in US) and CBT, but I am scared to take any meds after the horrific experience I have had. I have read several success stories; However, I am afraid whether my negative thought pattern would change, or if I would feel like my old fearless self. I can do basic life functions, like eat, sleep but there is no motivation or charm left. For someone who was running 50-60 miles a week, I can barely run 2-3 miles now even though I am pushing myself hard to go to gym. I think about this misery every day and hour, and I can't seem to break the pattern. I am not looking for reassurance at this time, I don't have the courage to go back on any meds, but this for sure is the lowest point of my life. I wanted to document this. I have read several CT success stories, but the story from Aeroman and mandance have struck the most to me Reddit - Dive into anything HISTORY: *Dec 2019-June 2022: 10mg Lexapro. CT *Sept 2022: Reinstated 10 mg Lexapro at hospital *Oct 2022: Fast Taper from 10-5->2.5->0mg Lexapro

Hello all. You can see my drug history in my signature. I wished that I had looked for these forums before I decided to go off my medication. Actually, I really wish I had never taken them in the first place. But here I am and I'm trying to figure out my next move. My doctor told me that a few months was good enough for a taper...so I thought that if I did it slower than that, I would be fine. But I did not realize how slow you have to go, especially at the end. I'm a 32-year-old woman. I started on Celexa in 2015 after I was going through a rough patch in my personal life and anxious about an upcoming school program. My problems pre-meds were pretty standard anxiety with some OCD/hypochondria symptoms, nothing like I'm dealing with now; I would give anything to feel that way again! Last summer I decided to get off the meds, I was now on 20mg Lexapro. I made it to 5mg until I crashed mentally and dealt with the same problems I am dealing with now. But I felt better in a few months so I decided to go off the rest. My doctor said I was already going way slower than recommended and nobody could get me a liquid formulation or even a pill smaller than 10mg, so I ended up just going down to a quarter pill at 2.5mg in February this year, and then down to 0mg in May. I have read the forums now and I realize that this is not the correct way to do things. But I really have no idea what I should to now, whether it's better to stick it out or to reinstate and then taper properly. About 2 weeks after my last dose I crashed completely. I'm dealing with intense levels of anxiety unlike anything I had pre-meds, wild mood swings, hopelessness and crying spells. Some days I feel extremely depressed while others I am very agitated and full of nervous energy. Writing this out makes it sound not that bad but it is really awful. Like some days I really feel like I am in hell, the level of emotional distress is that intense. I seem to go a few weeks feeling completely horrible and struggling with daily life, and then feel OK for a week or two. I no longer trust my own perceptions or trust myself as a capable agent in my own life. I live with my partner of 5 years and this has been a huge stress on our relationship. I actually broke up with him right when the withdrawal started and then immediately regretted it and took it back. He has been supportive and stuck by me throughout this. I have some doubts about the relationship and am struggling to figure out if they are the normal doubts that everyone has that I am blowing out of proportion, or if the relationship really does need to end. I feel so guilty about the stress I have put him through. I don't trust my own beliefs very much right now. Like in June I went down an obsessive spiral that my hair was thinning badly and that I was going bald, I literally almost shaved my head, but it turned out nobody noticed anything and my hair was fine. That's how crazy I feel right now. I am lucky that I don't seem to have any physical symptoms except intermittent insomnia. I'm still managing OK at work -- but quite frankly, my job is below my skill level and has never been very mentally taxing, and I work at home part of the time so I can be crying hysterically and then put myself back together for a meeting. I have gone back to my GP for advice (I don't have a psychiatrist) but the advice is predictable: I have a chemical imbalance and I need the medication. Of course I no longer believe this especially since I did not feel this way before the medication. I am trying to work through my emotional issues with my therapist who is trying to be supportive, but she isn't exactly a medical skeptic. I wish that I had some sort of professional to go to for advice because I really feel lost at sea right now. I am just not sure what to do right now. I know I went off the Lexapro too quickly, especially at the end. But I don't know if it's better to reinstate or to tough it out at this point.

Hi! I just got off of Zoloft. I started in 2018 on 50mg, increased to 100mg, and then went onto 150mg where I have been since in 2020. I got off Zoloft over two weeks ago. I tapered for 1.5 months. My symptoms are dizziness, heart palpitations, fatigue, weakness, easily winded, mental fatigue. Walking even short distances is very hard so much so that I couldn’t commute to work and have had to work from home. I have been considering getting back on a small dose of Zoloft. What do you think?

ok! so where do i start ive been reading on this website almost since the withdrawal started back in october and im just now starting an account! but anyway i recently tapered from 40mg of lexapro to 20 in one month and 10 the next month and the doctor said to stop after that which i did and boy do i feel bad some of the strangest symptoms ive ever felt in my life. I should mention the reason i got off was because for some reason i developed a horrible phobia of medication like im even scared to take a flinstone gummy its so bad which from everything ive read on here would make reinstatement very tough for me. i never had any issues at all with SSRIs other than drowsiness until around august my phobia got so bad i would panic every time i took my medicine even though i had no reason too! its been seven weeks now no medicine and sometimes i feel like its getting worse although i have no issues a couple hours before bed i feel normal? i could use some guidance please!

Hello everyone, I hope I am making this correctly. Im 30 years old, have been on Celexa since ~2007 for depression. Please bear with me as my memory is HORRIBLE and I don't know how accurate my information will be. Initial dose was 10mg(I believe), was told it would be for a short period of time and then I would go off them. Doctor increased in time to 20mg, this worked for many years. At some point I felt I was having issues and my doctor put me up to 40mg. Unsuccessfully tried to go off with doctors orders a few times. I have a new doctor & also a therapist(this is new to me). My new doctor wanted to put me on a different medication and prescribed me wellbutrin suggested tapering off 40mg to 20mg, 20mg for a week, 10mg for a week, then nothing for a week and start new meds. I had horrible symptoms after 2 days on 20mg. My therapist told me that was way too fast so went to 30mg, i did that until I stopped having brain zaps about 2 weeks, then the same for 20mg about 2 weeks, and then I think I did 3 weeks on 10mg. i felt okay on 10mg and wasnt sure if I needed to go on a different med (have heard wellbutrin is bad if you have anxiety already). My therapist suggested I go to 0mg for a while to get a "baseline" of how I feel if u need meds or not. Have had 0mg for 2 or 3 weeks and was fine until December 23 when I started to feel extremely sore, headache that wouldn't go away and dizzy. Dec 24th - 28th was even worse with dizziness that I couldn't barely do anything (pretty much missed Christmas) but also crazy sad and anxious for no reason. December 29th started with brain zaps on top of everything else. I made a post on reddit about it and was told by a fellow celexa user that this website really helped them and they had tapered too fast and had withdrawal issues for 8 months before going back on celexa and is half way through a 2 year taper down the right way. I am a bit stubborn and have fought not wanting to go back on celexa, but I'm starting to think I should and try tapering again much slower. Sorry my post was so long

I quick-tapered fluvoxamine (Luvox) a couple of months ago. I started in 2017 with 50 mg and worked my way to 100mg. I stayed on 100mg until may 2020, but during the pandemic I got through a rough break-up and was put on 200 and 300mg after a couple of weeks. However, due to overbooking of psychiatrists and the end of my medical coverage I decided to (foolishly I know) quick taper (more of a CT now that I think about it) the med. I went back to 200mg (supervised at first) but then lowered to 150 (after 2 weeks) 100 (for a month) and 50 (for 2 weeks). I got the usual withdrawal symptoms (electric shock sensation, depersonalization, and light head are the main ones I remember) but continued with my life. Everything seemed normal but it has been two times (different ocassions) that I have woken up and I just can't speak, it feels like I want to say something but I can't find the appropriate words for it. A quick google search led me to link my overall symtoms to stopping Fluvoxamine.

Hi! this is my first time writing on here and thought it would be important to start. No idea if anyone still even looks at this website, a lot of the posts seem to be very old. I was prescribed sertraline (Zoloft) by a doctor in the UK following a difficult period and PTSD. I was swiftly put up to the legal limit (200mg) for no reason other than my doctor thought it wasn’t working for me. I took this for 18months and then under the guidance of the same doctor came off the prescription in 6 weeks. Now for those people who know what they are talking about when it comes to tapering, that will probably make their hair stand on end. The withdrawal symptoms were nothing short of psychotic and it will probably shock people to hear that I stuck them out, my doctor left me, a psychiatrist wouldn’t see me and I wanted to be done off prescription meds so much. I had Audio and visual hallucinations, obsessive compulsive thoughts, night terrors, panic attacks, anxiety, Deep depression, irritability the list goes on. I weathered them all. I have been off sertraline 18months and still have lots of down days, but nothing close to what they used to be. 18months in and I regularly exercise, I can have a beer with my friends (I couldn’t do this until recently) and I can have moments that I enjoy. I have regular windows and waves now that cycle around 7-8days each. This just shows that my brain is recovering from a dependency on such a high dose of anti-depressant. I still get very angry that I am in this position because of lack of guidance and management from a doctor but at the end of the day it’s in the past so I don’t let that thought manifest. if I had to put my finger on it I think I have maybe another year or so of recovery to go. The concept of that used to terrify me but what I want to get across to anyone who may be reading this is that it does get better, time does heal and you need to find out the day to day things that work for you. You will get there just hang on. Take everyday one at a time - I believe in you!

Hi I’m new here! Lexapro’s side effects were not worth it for me so I added Wellbutrin and although the combination therapy felt kind of perfect, I never intended to be on two meds so I decided to taper off of Escitalopram. A week after last dose, I feel intense panic and fear, a bit out of body, not to mention all the physical symptoms. It is so scary that I’m reevaluating everything. Dr recommends starting Esc. 5mg and tapering more slowly. I don’t know if I should start withdrawal over because I don’t want to go through the hell of the last two days all over again. Any advice on your experience? Should I push through this difficult time? Does taking Wellbutrin have any effect on my withdrawal experience, good or bad? Thank you in advance! 6/2020 escitalopram 5mg 7/2020 escitalopram 10mg 12/3/2020 Wellbutrin XL 150 2/4/2021 escitalopram 5mg 2/18/2021 escitalopram 5mg every other day 3/14/2021 stopped escitalopram Continuing on Wellbutrin 150 XL

Hello, I was on 15mg for 2 months, moved up to 30mg for 6 months, then down to 15mg for another month after which I tapered off by alternating between 15mg and none for 2 weeks before stopping as per advice of my GP. I completely stopped taking mirtazapine beginning of August. Now I realize I tapered off too fast and I have seen advice about reinstating meds on here, but if I can I would prefer not to go back on mirtazapine or any other antidepressant. I took it for depression and anxiety, and I've been off it for around 10 weeks now. I was never on any antidepressants before that, although when I went to my GP, they put me on sertraline first, but had a really bad reaction so only took that for 2 days. First wave of withdrawals hit me about 10ish days after I stopped taking them. Mainly nausea (vomited once or twice), muscle spasms/tremors, fatigue, lots of itching, and panic attacks/paranoia. I wasn't too bothered by them as I expected some symptoms to occur, and I don't remember how long they lasted, but maybe a week or a bit more? Anyway, 2 or 3 weeks after, the 2nd wave started. I cannot tell you if physical symptoms were worse or not this time round, but because it was unexpected, I definitely handled it worse. I think it lasted longer as well. At first I thought I had sinusitis because I started having headaches I normally have when my sinuses are all screwed up. I didn't have a fever, but my temp was elevated. Then my GI tract went to hell. Diarrhoea, and generally unhealthy looking poo for about a week (sorry for tmi), feeling sick, but no vomiting or fever. Zero appetite, food tasted like nothing and I couldn't stomach more than a bite. Finally a migraine hit me. Usually I recover after a day from these, but this time the next day was hell. Dizziness, nausea, stomach pain, tightness and pain in my chest/throat. It all got too much to handle and I went to the emergency GP thinking it was some weird infection (few lymph nodes in my neck were slightly swollen as well) or appendicitis. All tests came back clear and they sent me home with anti-nausea meds (stemetil), Omeprazole for heartburn (not sure if I even had heartburn, but still took them), and antibiotics just in case. Symptoms started easing up after that, except nausea although this could be due to antibiotics as I didn't tolerate them well. I'd say it all lasted for about 14 days, followed by a couple of days of intense feeling of dread and panic. And then I was perfectly fine for a week. Now I am in what I think is the 3rd wave. Symptoms started a few days before my period, same as with 2nd wave. Does anyone know if periods can make withdrawal symptoms worse? I'm currently on day 6 of having symptoms. It started with some morning/evening nausea but nothing I couldn't handle. I I took stemetil if i felt it getting worse. I experienced breathlessness for a few days (like i couldn't take a deep enough breath), but breathing exercises helped, although I still struggle a bit. That heavy feeling/discomfort in my chest and throat is back but it's manageable. It was all relatively fine until yesterday when my period actually started. Now I'm starting to feel more light-headed in the morning again, nausea seems to be getting worse, there's fatigue and my limbs feel heavy, and insomnia (although that seems to come and go, it's not a daily thing). I am also feeling more anxious and paranoid about everything, experiencing brain fog as well. Had some headaches, my head would just feel very tense and eyesight would get a bit strange (kind of like migraines I guess, but not as severe). I'm at least able to eat normally for now, and it actually seems to help my nausea short term. I also have a weird aftertaste in my mouth, not sure if that's due to omeprazole (today was my last pill). So I guess I decided to join this forum to seek some reassurance that what I am experiencing are actually withdrawal symptoms from mirtazapine and not serious health concerns, lol. I have developed quite a lovely case of health anxiety due to all this and not sure whether to soldier through or seek medical help due to recurring symptoms. I did mention to emergency doctors that I used to take mirt and had withdrawal symptoms when I stopped, but they didn't really seem to acknowledge that. My GP obviously knows about mirt as well, but she didn't mention it either when I called about nausea (although tbh that was when I was taking antibiotics and still didn't think it was due to mirt).

Hi everyone. I just wanted to say firstly that I only discovered this site 2 days ago and you have all been an absolute god send! I was in the throes of horrific withdrawal and after seeing how screwed up my doctor's advice has been I have reinstated some of my dose today and I feel like a different person already.... A bit about my history with antidepressants: I'm 32 years old and was put on nortriptyline originally in March 2018 for migraines. The migraines weren't affected in any way by these drugs (different story but in the last 4 months I have found my trigger and have gone from daily to once monthly migraines so that's a win!) I had to switch through 3 different antidepressants (amitriptyline and mirtazapine included) before I could settle on Venlafaxine at 150mg. Nothing else would allow me to sleep through the night. That was around August of 2018. Everything was going OK, and it turned out I had both anxiety and depression which I didn't realise until these started to ease with the Venlafaxine. In May 2020 the first lockdown in England really got to me, I felt like nothing was helping so I requested to up my dose to 225mg of Venlafaxine. This went fine and I've been fine ever since, however during all of this time I've been working really hard on mindfullness and knowing how to combat my anxiety and depression head one and I truly felt like I was just taking this drug to stop any withdrawal symptoms instead of taking it because I needed it. Cue the absolute nightmarish hell of Jan 2021..... On the 4th I was instructed by my doctor that it would be fine and dandy to come off, and that I could reduce by 75mg a week, or 2 weeks if that felt too fast..... I wasn't warned of anything except I 'might get a bit dizzy and tired' .... Well week one passes dropping from 225mg to 150mg and I feel a bit off but OK. So week 2 I drop down to 75mg and yeah sure I'm a bit dizzy and I have a properly dodgy stomach but eveywhere seems to say that'll only last a week or 2 and then I'll be drug free so I can take it! ...... Week 3 I drop from 75mg to 0 and my god. I have never in my life, even in the worst throes of depression, had anxiety, panic, derealisation or depersonalisation like it. I was truly for the first time in my life terrified that I was going to either die, or accidently injure myself and die as I had no control. It was so horrific that 3 days in I couldn't get out of bed, and I gave in and started taking 75mg again. I felt better in the next 2 days but in that time I had a subsequent call with my doctor who said 'oh....well you can take a 37.5mg tablet instead. Do that for a week and then come off' ...... So before I even had chance to stabilise on 75 again I was back down to 37.5 for a week. Still dizzy, still panicking away but not as badly. 3 days ago I then thought I cannot drop right off this, I'll take out 1 little tablet inside the capsule and make the dose 25mg. 3 days later there I was having another horrific panic attack, convinced I was never going to be OK and would definitely die of something and so dizzy I couldn't see straight. That is how I ended up desperately looking around online for help (I had been anyway but looking in all the wrong places like....the NHS website....) and I found this site. I have never felt so relieved to see what now is obviously logic! I'm still in the process of reading through the site but I've already reinstated to 37.5mg and today I felt like a different person! A bit of panicking tonight but very manageable and hopefully it will pass over the week. I am also now committed to staying at this dose for at least a month (assuming it helps and I don't need to updose higher?) and then I will be tapering at 10%. I even bought a pill cutter today in preparation! I literally cannot thank you enough for this websites existence. I am so incredibly angry at my doctor for essentially throwing my brain off a cliff for the whole of January and I really hope that reinsating will even me out - it's already stopped every single symptom except the night time anxiety/jitters (which to be honest was so bad that I'm probably bringing it on more by worrying it will happen, than it actually being a symptom. It's also an echo of what it has been like since jumping from 75mg-0....) So that's me! Hello if you got this far, and I hope to join everyone on a successful and much slower journey to being antidepressant free! A quick edit just to say I was also advised to take that 37.5mg tablet one day on, one day off. Something I have told my friend off for doing with his antidepressant for literally years, something that has never made any sense to me, and something I was so vindicated to see is actively discouraged here!