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Hello everybody this is my first time posting although I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve spent searching the web and reading this forum with hellish withdrawal effects. So my story is very complex. I’ve been on a host of psychiatric medications since I was in middle school. I am also a recovering drug addict (heroin/fentanyl and cocaine). I’ve been on and come off stimulants (Adderall), benzos, (xanax, klonopin), antipsychotics, sleep meds, and antidepressants. I have withdrawn rapidly from hard street drugs in jail with nothing but anti convulsants and Tylenol. I have never experienced such a long drawn out harsh withdrawal like I have from SSRI’s. I was started out on celexa (80 mg which is dangerous) and then was moved to Zoloft 200 mg. I was on Zoloft for 6 years. I was not educated on SSRI’s at all and when I figured out all the terrible effects they had on me I decided to come off of them. I made the mistake to come off pretty much cold turkey ( went down from 200 mg to 0 mg in a week and flushed my meds). I figured it couldnt be worse than cold turkey fentanyl and benzo withdrawal but I was wrong. I went through terrible withdrawals for a month or two. I worked out at the gym relentlessly to try to help cope, went to church, used marijuana, did intermittent fasting, and took vitamins and supplements. The initial withdrawal was bad but what’s worse is was the long lasting emotion and mental effects. I experienced chronic depression and anxiety, derealization, depersonalization, emotional instability, rage, irritability, brain fog, I lost my sense of identity. I felt like I had early onset dementia. It was terrible. Things improved only slightly over a year and I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and went to doctor and they put me on lexapro 20 mg. I was on that for 10 months before I decided to ween myself off in a two month period. The second withdraw wasn’t as severe but still bad. I still haven’t felt like myself. It’s been 6 and a half months since I’ve been off the ssri. Sorry for the long post but my question is when does the emotional numbness go away. It’s not as bad as it was but I still am unable to cry. I also deal with the anxiety and depression but at a lesser degree. But I feel emotionally detached a bit. Has anybody gone through anything similar. When we’re you able to start crying again and feeling your emotions more. Thank you and God bless!

First, excuse me for my English, I speak just French. I’m new on this group and would share my story. My story with shrink medications: It’s the most important rules, the golden rules if you want quit all this crap with minimal damage: stay on the original molecule and taper SLOWLY. I’m destroyed now because I have follow my Dr in this process: 1. Ten years on Tramadol and two years on Klonopin due to neurologic pain after a failed surgery. 2. Almost CT withdrawal of the two molecules , at this time I don’t know a clue about Ashton Manual and withdrawal, I trust my doc 3. Results: depression, anxiety, seizures, ...DR ad Olanzapine and Cymbalta (first time in my life that I take antipsychotic and AD) 4. Results: suicidal ideation, I inform my doc, he up the dosage of the AD! 5. Result: Suicide attempt two weeks later, cardiac and respiratory arrest , 2 weeks in intensive care at hospital 6. They give me Effexor, Pregabalin high dose (Lyrica ), Fentanyl, massive dose of benzos 7.Result: serotoninergic symptômes, they stop CT the fentanyl and Tramadol but ad Trazodone and sleeping pills 8. Results: psychosis, seizures, panic attacks, bowel obstruction and direct to ER! 9.Result: they cut CT the Effexor, Pregabalin, Trazodone and start with anSSRI (fluvoxamine), sleeping pills, Propranolol for tremors and heart rate, and start to cut the benzos but at a rythm of 25% each week. 10. Result: panic attacks, sweating, tremors, insomnia, suicidal tough, akhitisia, enable to eat (lost 30kg in 6 months), depersonalization, weak as hell! 11. Result: 10 weeks in detox clinic...they continue to cut the benzos but 50% each week!!! I talk with the Addicto in charge about Ashton and Breggin, about FB group... Never hearing this!!! 12. Result: back to home with SSRI but nothing else, BUT PAWS off hell: insomnia, dizziness, POTS, PSSD, PTSD, DEPRESSION, CNS AND GI SYSTEM DESTROYED, Anhedonia,SEIZURES, PANIC ATTACKS, ... 13. Result: my Dr stop the SSRI CT and reinstate pregabalin and another SSRI. 14.Result: more anxiety and insomnia. Dr CT the pregabalin: hell 15.Result, I change of Dr and search for a treatment with plant medicine Iboga, change my diet due to benzos belly and all damages due to AD and tapering the SSRI. 16. Go in a clinic for treatment with plant medicine Iboga / Ibogaine. Overnight no more PAWS, insomnia, pain, anxiety, ... was a life saver! Iboga reset all neurotransmitters, like if I was a baby born. 17. Return to home with no PAWS, no medication , but weak, tired and depression (My mistake is that I tapering to fast the Last SSRI, at this time I just want do die but my instinct say to me to microdosing with plant medecine Iboga or psilocybin...but was to down to follow my instinct) 18. Back to the shrink who give me SSRI ( insomnia, anxiety returns, give me Mirtazapine, but adverse effects, ad pregabalin and CT after 3 months, back on benzos too and ad Quétiapine into the cocktail...) I have two lovely kids and a wonderful wife, but I have lost everything: my job, my health, my family... because I’m just able too stay on the couch with horrible symptoms, kindling effect, and pain all day long, sometimes I can eat but the GI system is so painful and destroyed that I can’t assimile nutrients correctly. When I can sleep 2-3 hours it’s a very good night for me, but usually with a lot of nightmares and sweating... Today I have received by mail the decision of health services of my country: I’m considered as 100% invalid. IN CONCLUSION: FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT STOP SHRINK DRUGS: 1. SLOW TAPERING DON’T GO CT 2. STAY ONLY ON YOUR ORIGINAL MOLECULE 3. DON’T STOP MULTIPLE MOLECULE IN SAME TIME 4. DON’T FOLLOW IN ANY CASE THE DR ADVISE ABOUT TAPERING OR DIAGNOSIS DURING WITHDRAWAL 5.DON’T AD NEW DRUGS IN THE COURSE, NEVER! ONLY TIME, HEALTHY DIET, EXERCISE, SOME VITAMINS ARE THE KEY 6.GO **** YOURSELF ALL BIG PHARMA AND DOCTORS WHO WORK FOR THIS. MY SON, MY DAUGHTERS AND MY WIFE HAVE NOW A VEGETABLE IN PLACE OF A FATHER. THANK YOU VERY MUCH MOTHER****ERS! HOPE THERE IS A DIVINE JUSTICE AFTER... Good luck for everyone 🤞🤞🤞hope you will be better than me. ❤️❤️❤️

If you had a loved one who died of overdose after trying and failing to get treatment, I would like to talk to you. I am a free-lance writer specializing in medical harm. Here is a link to my writer's website, with links to all my writing on the web: http://patrickhahn5.wixsite.com/meliponula