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I am a stay at home mom of two young boys. I am so scared that I am stuck like this. After reading here, I believe what I am experiencing is kindling? Upon waking I feel a “surge” of electricity going through my body. This happens every single morning without fail. I have 24/7 SEVERE anxiety and panic symptoms both mentally and physically. Internal tremors, obsessive thoughts, can’t even watch a tv show without obsessing over how I am feeling. Sweaty palms and feet, heart racing. And then on top of all of this 24/7 I get rolling panic attacks that last various amounts of time. I do not get a break from it. No good days. Maybe once a week I can’t handle it any more and I will take klonopin but I am so scared of benzos so I try very hard not to. I cannot under any circumstances endure this for multiple years. My family is talking about me going inpatient somewhere and I seriously can’t stand the thought of leaving my babies. I have never even spent one night away from them. Please please someone tell me how I can get back to functioning again. Should I reinstate a small amount of pristiq? Thank you. not sure exactly how to add my signature but for now here is a brief history- 2006-2017 celexa10mg and lexapro20mg (self tapered on and off multiple times but can’t recall how often) 20 2017 tapered myself off of lexapro with no problems when I decided to get pregnant. 2018 postpartum was severe. Put me on Zoloft & Hydroxyzine. This saved me. 2022 tried to wean myself but couldn’t get off of zoloft 2023 psychiatrist put me on Wellbutrin to wean me from zoloft may2023 fully weaned off of Zoloft september 2023 was using Hydroxyzine often so I felt like I needed to go back to Zoloft. Reinstated 100mg Zoloft and it was HELL. Extreme panic and anxiety. Electricity. Not sleeping well, vomiting, diarrhea. endured for 5 days before psychiatrist told me to stop taking it and gave me klonapin (and I weaned by nursing toddler) because I was in such bad shape. after a few days and Zoloft out of my system I was “okay”. October 2023- lexapro- psychiatrist tried lexapro since I was previously on it. Had same side effects and advised I stopped taking after a few days. November 2023-pristiq- I took the genesight test and pristiq was the only “green” medication. I took 25mg pristiq alongside Propranolol 2x/day and 50mg Hydroxyzine at night. Klonopin for emergencies. I took it for 3 weeks and slowly ended up with the same side effects as the others. Diarrhea, vomiting, clenching jaw, EXTREME panic and anxiety etc. stopped after 3 weeks. 12/9 - current-no SSRI or SNRI. Taking propranolol 2x/day, 50mg Hydroxyzine sometimes at night and klonapin when I can no longer endure another day like this. It feels like it is getting way worse and not better. I never have good days.

Hello Everyone I am a new member here and need some advice. I have been on hydroxyzine and lamictal for 10 years now. 100 mg of hydroxyzine pamomate capsules and 50 mg of lamictal. I would not take the hydroxyzine every night but would do 50 mg 2 nights in a row and then 100 mg on the third night and repeat it only because it would make me too tired if I took it nightly, the 100 mg. I have been wanting to taper off this for while but have not gotten the courage or time as I know I have been on it for a long time and it's bad to be on so long. Skipping forward to last month: Dr wrote me a prescription for the 25 mg hydroxyzine pamomate which was different than the 50 mg capsules I had been taking, but I figured it would be fine. Around middle of June I started taking four 25 mg capsules every night. I didn't just stick to the 50 mg every 2 nights and 100 mg on the third night because It was not making me as sleepy as the 50 mg capsules of my original prescription. Now looking back, how stupid was I. I realize these weren't that strong or maybe too strong? I was more moody, couldn't sleep as well as original prescription, so my Dr called me in my original prescription of the hydroxyzine pamomate 50 mg capsules. I started taking those again the 24th. All last week i was tired until this past Saturday I woke up with severe nausea, shaky hands and electricity running through my veins. That would of been exactly a week back on the drug. I had alot of anxiety as well and it was awful. Never have had nausea on hydroxyzine. Have remained on original prescription since last Saturday. There is def a rhythm to this. Once I take the dose, within a half hour I am more revved, shaky and naseous. Can't sleep. It lasts all the next day until about 8 at night I feel some relief but by that time it's time to take the dose again. It has been awful and so scary. I had withdrawal from lexapro before with a failed reinstatement afterwards that was unbelievablely long and cruel with the worst symptoms imaginable. To say I am terrified would be an understatement but I am trying to remain calm even though I am under so much stress and chemical anxiety, trying to figure out what to do next. Last night I took just 50 mg. I slept better the nausea hasn't been as extreme and the electricity has not been as extreme either, but still there. My question is: what would you recommend to do going forward? I'm not sure if the other prescription even though same med, was too strong, not strong enough, I reacted to the different additives and it riled up my cns? I am still incredibly sensitive from the lex withdrawal 10 years ago. Although the hudroxyzine has always helped calm my system down. I do think the 100 mg was too strong, but obviously I can't just stay at 50 because then I will be in withdrawal? I can't go through this again. Or maybe I should do the 2 nights of 50 and third night of 100 like I was before the last month. I definitely know my system is rattled. That dose is now too high and my system is turning against it. This is alot like my failed reinstatement with lexapro. I know how this goes if I stay on the full dose as that's what I did with the lexapro and got worse and worse by the minute. My stomach is in knots all day long, I'm a wreck with no resolution or not knowing what to do. I'm an anxious mess and while I can handle this for now, i am terrified to continue the 100 mg for terror of it to keep building and me getting worse and worse unless this is the worst it gets, and I can start a slow taper from the 100 and possibly start feeling better. Or maybe I should try 75 or 70 mg and see how I feel? I just hate to keep rattling my system. Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you all

Hi all, First off I am grateful for this forum, thank you for letting me join. My journey began with trying to address some confusing health issues that put an end to a career that I dearly loved. Anxiety and overwhelm with my situation took over and it was recommended by my therapist that I try an antidepressant. Since my father took escitalopram without issue (going on or off) I decided to try it. My mother and I are sensitive to medication and I was very, very resistant to going on an antidepressant. My GP prescribed 10 mg of escitalopram and hydroxzine for sleep. At this point I had been taking 50 mg of Trazodone for sleep. The first weekend of taking those meds changed everything. After the first dose I woke up dizzy and disoriented, nearly falling out of bed. The derealization and confusion from that was incredible. The panic and anxiety intense. After that weekend I stopped the hydroxyzine I asked to step down to 5 mg and did that for a month, eventually going to 7.5 because I was told that my body would adjust (under my doctors direction by alternate taking 5 and 10 mg every other to reach 7.5mg). By the fourth month at 10 mg I was having severe waves of body agitation followed by waves of peaceful calm, extreme eye strain, evening concussive headaches, sweating, fluctuating eye sight, trembling, contstipation, and derealization. The waves of body agitation were the worse but at least at that time I could lay down, ride it out and have moments of peaceful calm. I was told by my psychiatrist that most of my symptoms couldn’t be from the meds and had more with my aversion to taking it. After seeing several specialist and testing it was determined that I have acquired spontaneous nystagmus and an inner ear caused balance. Based off of my timeline of symptoms the balance issue thought to be most likely caused by long covid. At four months on escitalopram I tapered down over 2 weeks from 10 to 5 to 0 mg. Reviewing information on this site I realize now that may have been too fast. However, a lot of my symptoms did improve until I started vestibular therapy where they suggested that an ssri has sometimes been found to be beneficial. So, after 1 month of being off of escitalopram I started fluoxetine at 10 mg. Trembling started again with more headaches and brain fog. After two months of fluoxetine I’d had enough and was told that I could go off it cold turkey because it was “self tapering”. I have been off of fluoxetine for a month and was told that it would be out of my system at that point. Still I’m left with feet tingling, headaches and a constant feeling of derealization with brain fog, headaches, concentration issues and unsteadiness. Now true to form my physiatrist wants to try other things like Viibryd, Lamictal or Gabapentin. I can’t see getting hooked on benzo’s or going back on another psych med unless it’s going to be able to address my other issues. Of course nobody except my audiologist wants to go down the long covid route. Looking at past immediate AD reaction post it appears to me that I may in fact have had an adverse reaction to escitalopram and may have deregulated my nervous system further starting fluoxetine? Admittedly I am anxiety ridden over my situation regarding my nystagmus, inner ear balance (long Covid) issues but the brain fog derealization is the worst of it. I feel I may have made things worse by switching around with the meds, the way I took them and went off of them. I am being told that I wasn’t on the meds long enough or at a high enough dose to cause lingering withdrawal symptoms. I’m now basically bed ridden, unable to work or drive. I have looked through the supplements recommendations and started fish oil. I have taken vitamin C and D and a probiotic for ever. Thanks for being here and any insight that you can give me

Posting on behalf of my partner who I am caring for through withdrawal and tapering. He is not in a good place to be on the internet much currently but we have questions and still need support, so I am posting for him (hope that's okay). Anytime I say "we", I am referring to my partner and I as we've discussed and strategized together. Longer-form version of his drug history: 2008-2012: Fluoxetine for 4 years during high school Doesn't remember exact dose but likely 10mg Had a really easy time discontinuing in 2012 when he wanted to stop taking it. Doesn't remember if he stopped cold turkey or did any kind of taper at the time 2016: Fluoxetine 20mg for a few months, around age 21 Remember it being easy to start without bad symptoms from updosing Was experiencing sexual side effects and stopped cold turkey Remembers it being "medium" difficult to stop. Mostly some increased depression for a period after stopping, but nothing close to what he is going through right now with citalopram 2018-2020: Began citalopram 20mg for depression and anxiety after difficult life events. Wanted to avoid fluoxetine due to sexual side effects Severe depression as side effect from updosing when originally starting. Remembers it being about a month of the worst depression he had ever felt up to that point, worse than the depression that led him to take it in the first place. Then was at 20mg for a few years after stabilizing Jan - Mar 2020: Was feeling happy, wanted to discontinue citalopram. Psychiatrist said the 20mg dose was so low that he could just stop cold turkey, but that he could do a few cut and holds if he wanted to be extra cautious. After cutting to 15mg, was feeling agitated for months Mar 2020 - Jul 2023: Decided to reinstate the 20mg citalopram and micro-taper Got liquid form of citalopram and tapered from 20mg -> 5mg over a few years, with some holds along the way Mar 2023: Began feeling regularly agitated. This was around the time of an injury and some other difficult life circumstances that challenged his mental health routine, so he thought maybe he needed a higher dose. Bumped up to citalopram 7mg all at once Jul 2023: Was still feeling regularly agitated. (In retrospect, we're pretty confident the agitation beginning in mar 2023 was poop-out) Bumped up to citalopram 10mg all at once This bump up was severely destabilizing. Began experiencing panic attacks, chest pain, and higher anxiety (had never had panic attacks or chest pain from anxiety before in his life, so these were brand new as a result of the updose). Started taking hydroxyzine 25mg or 12.5mg regularly as needed to manage the heightened anxiety, and propranolol 10mg or 5mg very occasionally as needed to prevent/manage panic attacks Determined the citalopram had probably been pooping out before bumping up. Made a plan with psychiatrist to switch to fluoxetine in the short-term to get off the citalopram, and then eventually taper off the fluoxetine since he had gentler reactions to fluoxetine in the past when starting & stopping Plan was to make the switch in January 2024 - this was due to some planned life events that made it inconvenient to switch sooner, and because the poop-out symptoms seemed somewhat manageable in the short term Around November-December, the poop-out symptoms were worsening again and we determined he needed to make the switch sooner Psychiatrist was concerned about serotonin syndrome and did not want him to take fluoxetine and citalopram simultaneously. Instead they wanted him to do a clean switch, taking 10mg citalopram one day and then fully switching over to 10mg fluoxetine the next day (with 0 citalopram from that point on) Dec 21 - 25 2023: Began the "clean switch" Began feeling some moderate withdrawal symptoms after a couple of days By Dec 25 the withdrawal became severe, both physically and mentally. During a peak wave of uncontrollable shivers, headache, nausea, chest pain, insomnia, severe anxiety and depression we decided to reinstate 2mg citalopram. Within an hour of reinstating the worst of the physical symptoms had significantly lessened - especially the shivers, headache, and nausea. The anxiety and depression also lessened. Dec 26 2023 - present: Have been taking 2mg citalopram (1mg morning and 1mg nighttime), 10mg fluoxetine Taking 25mg or 12.5mg hydroxyzine as needed, generally totaling about 37.5-75mg daily depending on the day Also taking 0.125-0.5mg lorazepam occasionally as needed, not every day. Has been about a few days per week. From Dec 26-Jan 2, it seemed like things were improving. We starting tracking FINISH a few times a day and he was doing better than he had been at the peak waves before we reinstated the citalopram. But since January, most of the withdrawal symptoms have plateaued. The physical symptoms have improved a lot: headache and nausea are almost nonexistant now, and dizziness has steadied at a low-medium level. But ever since those lessened, he has been having more insomnia, and constant and severe anxiety daily, accompanied with chest pain and stomach pain, and occasionally a more severe bout of panic. This has also begun being accompanied with increasing depression, often at the same time as waves of panic or severe anxiety. The depression is increasing day by day from the despair and exhaustion from the prolonged physical and mental pain with no improvement on any of the withdrawal over the last two weeks. For the first time in his life, this has brought on questions of his will to keep on trying during his worst waves. He is running out of steam and feeling very scared and demoralized. Our immediate goal: We want to try to get him stable on 2mg citalopram in the short-to-medium term (from there, we will begin a very slow micro-taper from the citalopram, but for now we are just struggling to stabilize). This is complicated by the fact that the citalopram has been pooping out since Mar 2023, which may also be contributing to the plateau in any improvement on the withdrawal symptoms. We're trying to use strategies other than drugs as much as we can. We are both taking medical leave. We're being strict about our bedtime routine, eating extremely healthy with tons of fruits and veggies daily and little-to-no processed foods, getting out for two walks outside daily, meditating 1-2 times daily, doing yoga at home, avoiding stressful or over-stimulating activities. We are visiting his family until things improve, for extra help with care and morale. These things are making a difference, but even with them we are in the current state. We don't want to increase the citalopram any more, (a) because he seems to have a severe kindling effect from any dose changes to citalopram and (b) because it's pooping out so updosing may not do much to help anyways, even in the short-term He would like to increase his fluoxetine dose to 20mg to help stabilize, provide some relief on the sooner side for the anxiety and depression, and hopefully continue to help with some symptom relief when he eventually tapers off of citalopram. We know that he's had a gentler reaction to fluoxetine starting & stopping in the past, which we feel makes it an okay strategy for him to use as an intermediate step. We're also hoping increasing the fluoxetine can allow us to eliminate the lorazepam sooner - although he isn't taking it daily, we know it is highly habit-forming and would like to remove it before anything else. But in his current state, it's the only thing that has been able to get him through his worst waves. Our primary question-area for now (we'll probably have more later): We're trying to figure out how to updose the fluoxetine, assuming that we do. What we're considering: All-at-once updose to 20mg pros: get it over with; less time spent going through any updosing effects after getting past updosing effects, will get to any relief it provides sooner cons: could be very destabilizing updose very slowly, basically a micro-increase pros: likely less destabilizing if it ends up providing some therapeutic effect at a dose lower than 20, he could stop there at a lower dose cons: if there are still some negative effects to updosing, those would be drawn out over a long period of time likely will take longer to get a therapeutic effect from the drug to get relief from the citalopram withdrawal/poop-out. in the meantime, his anxiety and depression is already severe and worsening day by day rather than improving middle ground?? target 20mg, but updose over a few weeks by 0.5mg/day or similar pros: maybe still less destabilizing than the all at once updose? still get to some therapeutic effect sooner than the micro-increase version cons: could still end up being destabilizing, and then just prolong the destabilized period Questions: In your experience, does kindling tend to be specific per drug, or have you tended to find that when somebody develops a kindling reaction to one drug, they also begin to have kindling reactions to other psychiatric drugs including those that they haven't had severe reactions to in the past? We have read the reinstatement advice which says that increasing a dose after reinstatement should be extremely cautious and slow due to the likely kindling effect. But are there any general patterns or learnings around how best to increase dosage of a medicine in general, when not referring to a drug that you're already hypersensitive to? Any other advice on stabilizing for his particular situation?

hello all found your site I am 50 year old male never been a fan of medications and pills mostly avoided the last 20 years or so event started in June when I accidently ingested Psilocybin mushroom that were in Butterfinger candy made me fearful because I didnt know what happened shortly after went to ER and was fine but had panic attack couple weeks after rib injury lead to another ER visit triggered panic attack and they prescribed antidepressants at hospital and through my doctor was prescribed sertraline hcl 25 mg only took 5 pills was prescribed hydroxyzine 25 mg only took 3 pills was prescribed benzonatate 100 mg for cough only took 1 pill this over the course of summer into fall stopped taking Zoloft in late october went into a mania state could not sleep involuntary spasms, initial doctor told me to finish the dosage but symptom and side effects were so bad so another doctor he advised stop taking. Since late Oct I have developed vibrations in my body and spastic body tics that conflict with each other strange feeling of heaviness and pulling on my lower back, my head also vibrates, brain zaps and I see lights in my sleep, conditions are worse as I fall asleep, jaw pain when talking and swallowing food, ears now ringing out of no where have seen many doctors done CT Scan bloodwork all comes back fine telling me I am healthy. Too combat this I walk and do lite exercises and play guitar wasnt sure what supplements I can try so many option's I have been eatling lots of vegetable's and tea I quit drinking beer, coffee, and avoid sugar except honey in my tea. Need help dealing with the vibrations and tics its maddening even my eye twitches. I feel everyone pain here I didnt even take that many pills but the last 3 months have been so hard having to continue to work and see doctors that havent helped saw Neurologist they felt it was anxiety although i am calm, my nervous system just wont calm down.

I have severe GAD diagnosed in early 2018. After trying to manage it on my own for a couple of months I finally asked my dr for an anti anxiety medication. she put me on 75 mg of Effexor, and I started taking it on May 2019. It worked incredibly. in February 2023, my main stressor for anxiety got resolved and wanting to get pregnant soon I decided to taper. I tapered from March 2023 - June 2023 using the bead counting method with my drs instructions. At first I thought I got away with it but I was wrong. Just like many others of us I developed severe insomnia and haven’t been able to shake it off to this date. I reached back out to my dr and worked with a psychiatrist both of whom agreed I benefit from sleeping meds. I tried taking 25 mg of Vistaril and while that worked okay, it made me very groggy the next day. Then my psych decided to switch me to Trazadone 25 mg and that worked ok. Today, I have not been able to sleep at all and it’s too late to take anything. I’ve taken the day off from work and made an appointment with my dr to talk about potentially reinstating — Effexor is not safe during pregnancy so maybe something else. I just don’t feel good in general and am feeling like I’m suffering more than I need to and need something to give. thanks in advance for welcoming me to the community, we’ll get through this!

Hi Everyone, I’ve been on Bupropion 300xl since beginning of 2019 so almost 5 years. I also was taking Trazodone 50mg nightly for sleep and dropped to 25mg for a month or so then discontinuing it around June 2023. I also discontinued Losartan a blood pressure med around the same time. The doctor said my blood pressure was doing great and I could come off if, I wanted to. Around July 2023, I started to experience anxiety creeping in slowly due to a trigger thought from my past. I let it manifest and get bigger and bigger day by day until I went in full panic mode. It got so bad I went to VA hospital where I get care and they gave me Hydroxyzine for anxiety and panic attacks. I took it but it really didn’t help the anxiety was too strong at this point. I wasn’t sleeping very good. Had a couple more panic attacks. I then went back to the VA and saw mental health provider who told the Bupropion was causing the anxiety. He dropped me from 300xl to 150mg (75 ir X 2 a day).and started buspar 5mg morning and 5mg night. This was 21 Sep 23. I take the bupropion at 6am and 2pm. I also had a blood panel, thyroid test, and ekg to rule those out for the anxiety. All came back normal. I also started therapy. I stopped taking the buspar after a week. Didn’t really feel it was doing anything and made me feel weird. The anxiety has been debilitating at times it seems to be getting better slowly day by day. I’ve never had it this extreme in my 47 years. I’m retired from the Navy after 20 years and have had some stressful situations but this has really got me. I went back and saw mental health twice saying this a rough ride not being able to sleep a full night and the anxiety. They gave me rameron 30mg to take at night. I took it one time and then didn’t take it again. Didn’t want to get started on something else and the side effects of weight gain not worth it to me. Also tried Trazodone again 100mg just to see if I could get some relief made me too groggy and didn’t really help same with Hydroxyzine 25mg. I just feel off, tired, irritable, frustrated, depression and anxiety comes and goes. Sometimes I have passing suicidal thoughts but would never act on them and I share this with my wife just so she knows what’s going through my head. They definitely scare me. Definitely affects your quality of life. I guess I just deal with it now. It’s no where near like before or at panic level. Oh and they want to put me on Prozac now. I haven’t touched it yet. I mentioned my sister is on it with good results so they feel that would be a good fit. I think I was dropped too fast on the bupropion and I’m feeling the withdrawal. It’s been five weeks now and just wanted to see what everyone’s input on this is. I want to try and be done with these meds and go natural. I don’t want to introduce more stuff that I’ll have to come off of. The biggest thing I’m dealing with is anxiety and poor sleep. I’ve looked at the taper schedule and guess I’m beyond the taper from 300xl spot. What are your recommendations at this point? I think it was odd I was dropped to 75ir x 2 a day. Any recommendations to ease the burden? Many Thanks!

Hello, I stumbled upon this forum while looking for support through an unfortunate situation I'm in. I visited a similar site 3-4 years ago when tapering from benzos and it was incredibly helpful. I'll try not to write a book in my intro, but I do want to be thorough. I have been on SSRIS for most all of my adult life. I'm 35 now and began with Paxil when I was 18. Over the years I switched from Paxil to Prozac to Lexapro to Luvox. I'm well-versed in how helpful the medicine can be in crisis, but also in how they can cause crisis. Long story short... I had been taking Lexapro since the beginning of the pandemic for depression, panic attacks, and OCD. My most recent dose, 40 mg, was targeted at the OCD, and had been in place since about February of this year. While it did help minimize OCD symptoms, it caused emotional blunting and now recently a spike in panic attacks. I told my psychiatrist I was experiencing the concerns and inquired of different medicines. He suggested a fast taper off Lexapro over three weeks (40 to 20), and then a direct switch to Luvox. Life has been a bit of a nightmare ever since. Shortly after starting the Luvox I began experiencing increased anxiety, anger and irritability, a lack of feeling in control, and physical symptoms such as dry mouth, cough (ongoing), and chest pain and tightness (also ongoing). After some back and forth phone conversations I was able to get in to see my psychiatrist yesterday. At this point I'm barely functioning. I don't go out at all, and I just feel....out of sorts. High anxiety, crying spells (or attempted crying spells, thanks to the emotional blunting), and a lack of hope or drive. After explaining all this, my psychiatrist told me to stop taking the Luvox immediately. He plans to put me on Effexor, but wants to wait about a month since he's going on vacation in a week. I'm pretty well versed in these meds, so I was pretty upset, given the likelihood I'm already withdrawing from the Lexapro, and would now add a Luvox withdrawal to the mix. His solution was for me to try positive thinking, not worry so much, and if needed, start 5 mg. Lexapro on Monday to hold me over until he returns and prescribes the Effexor. I'm beside myself, to be honest. I've always held my psychiatrist in high regard, as he spent two years helping me taper from Klonopin, but this incident is really bothering me. I'm fearful that these withdrawal symptoms will be ongoing, and waiting to start the Effexor will just make things worse. As I said I'm already having trouble functioning, and spend most of my days lying in bed. I have a full time job that I do not want to lose, and my friendships and relationships are struggling. To be quite honest, I'm hoping to find some validation here that my fears about this process are valid, as well as support through the next few weeks. I have Hydroxyzine, which does seem to take the edge off, but it makes me so drowsy I don't want to do anything. Thank you for any support you can provide during this very difficult time. TG

Hi, everyone. I just found this forum last night via links on Mad In The UK and Let's Talk Withdrawal. I've recently begun tapering sertraline after 10 years of use, and I hope that it will be mutually helpful for myself and others if I share my experiences here. I'll try to summarize my personal mental health history with whatever information I think might be relevant. I've had depression, anxiety, and OCD-like symptoms beginning in childhood, possibly exacerbated by personal/family trauma. I saw my first therapist at age 7-8 when my parents divorced, and have been in and out of therapy for other reasons since about 14. Depression became severe around age 15, along with some disordered eating behaviors (I wasn't formally diagnosed with an ED until my 20s, but from the age of 16 onward was treated as though I had one--actually, I found my way here because this article resonated with some of my experiences in treatment and being pathologized). Many of the therapists I saw in my teens and twenties advised me to begin medication and would bring it up repeatedly against my wishes at the time. After my second year in college, my mental health became significantly worse and I had trust issues with my therapist at the time, who continued to insist that I needed medication and/or some form of institutional treatment. In 2008 I avoided being hospitalized for an eating disorder by cutting off contact with that therapist, but my GP diagnosed anorexia nervosa and prescribed sertraline because it was supposed to help with compulsive behaviors such as disordered eating and OCD. At the time, I did not get the prescription filled. After I left college in 2009, my depression fluctuated but I had more severe anxiety than in the past. By 2012 I was having anxiety attacks almost every day that were interfering with my work and daily life. Doctor again prescribed sertraline, and I started taking it as a "last resort" because I felt suicidal and that I had nothing left to lose by trying it. I started at 50 mg and experienced some relief from the physical symptoms of anxiety, but I still worried constantly and had varying levels of depression. It also did absolutely nothing for OCD. :') After a few years on the sertraline, I felt that it wasn't working or wasn't necessary, and I also suspected that I might have some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence that was being covered up by the depression/anxiety/ED diagnoses. Around 2017 I began seeing a therapist at a practice that also required meeting with a psychiatrist every few months as a condition of continuing treatment. Said psychiatrist diagnosed ADHD and possible autism spectrum traits but did not prescribe anything for the ADHD; instead, he recommended increasing my dosage of sertraline from 50 to 75 and then to 100 mg a few months later. He also prescribed hydroxyzine PRN for anxiety attacks. Once again, any benefit of increasing the sertraline dosage was temporary or negligible/nonexistent. (The hydroxyzine seems to work by virtue of being a sedative, if nothing else.) Starting around 2018-2019, I began having more acute depressive episodes that seemed to worsen with hormonal fluctuations; it was as though my SSRI "stopped working" for a few days/weeks every month and I experienced symptoms that were easily as bad as the withdrawal symptoms I got from skipping or missing a dose. For a while (2019-2020) I also had what I thought were moderate hypomanic episodes lasting a few weeks at a time, although this might have been how I interpreted having a more normative level of executive functioning/mood regulation as opposed to feeling fatigued and depressed as a baseline. ADHD and OCD-like symptoms also got progressively worse. In 2020 I asked my GP about ADHD treatment, and was prescribed Adderall (10 mg, increased to 15 mg later on). This was also around the time I decided to start tapering the sertraline. I went from 100 to 75 mg in 2021 without noticing much of a difference, but had severe depression/withdrawal effects at 50 mg and so remained at 75 for about a year. The hormonal exacerbation also got significantly worse--suicidal ideation, self harming behavior, increased anxiety, and paranoid/irrational/obsessive thoughts--to the point that I thought I might be having psychotic episodes. (I have a late maternal uncle who developed schizophrenia after recreational hallucinogen use, so there is some family history of being at risk.) In late August or early September of this year, I decided to resume tapering after missing a dose between refills; since I was already having withdrawal symptoms, I started taking 50 mg after my refill and just left it at that. My current therapist referred me to another psychiatric practice to discuss medication management. During the appointment last week, they recommended tapering the sertraline from 50 to 25 for two weeks, and then to 12.5 before stopping entirely. However, they also prescribed a different SSRI (Luvox), which I do not want to take at all, as well as switching my ADHD medication from Adderall to Vyvanse. I'm not too concerned with the ADHD drugs right now; I think it might be easier to evaluate whether or not they're worth continuing after I get off the sertraline, but I don't know how to explain to my therapist and/or other health care providers that I don't want to start a different SSRI, without being seen as non-compliant. tl;dr, as of this week I've gone from 50 to 25 mg on sertraline and I'm feeling pretty depressed/paranoid/anxious, but I think it's manageable if there's a possibility of it getting better after this. Sorry if any of the above is rambling or otherwise unclear. I'm still lurking on the rest of the forum while posting this, so please let me know if I've made any mistakes or left anything out. Thank you.

Hi. So, I had been having some health anxiety over 2021. It resulted in me getting a colonoscopy in November 2021. Leading up to it I had intense anxiety, a few panic attacks and perhaps even a nervous breakdown. The night before I woke at 3 am and had a panic attack. I really thought I was dying this time, so we called 911, and I luckily, not dying. During the procedure they did take a biopsy, and while waiting for the results (2weeks) I had very intense anxiety. It was benign. I'd had intense panic and anxiety for almost a whole month at this point. Around Dec 17, 2021 I contracted covid. It was pretty uneventful, but near the end of it I was waking around 5 am with adrenaline and diarrhea and I couldn't go back to sleep, this was creating anxiety in me that was getting harder and harder to control. So I went to a Dr on December 30 2021 who prescribed me Zoloft 50mg and Xanax 0.25mg. They were filled pretty fast and I took one of each as soon as I got home (around 1-2pm) I felt ok at first, but a few hours later all the side effects started. Irritable/uncomfortable, anxiety, nauseous, no appetite, chills, diarrhea, invasive thoughts that started pretty quick and intensely, and soon to find out - insomnia. I'd lay there with invasive thoughts and if I happened to drift off I'd be jerked awake and there was no sleeping for at least a week. I lived in a panic for around 2 weeks. I never took another dose of Zoloft. But I did take around 9 doses (some halved) of Xanax over the next 2-3 months. Sometimes to help sleep, but it was never worth it as I'd only get a 2-3 hours and then have intense anxiety the next day. It worked ok for panic during the day, but then I feel it intensified my anxiety for the next few days. I found some old Valium 5mg from a dental procedure, there were only 2 doses. They helped sleep some, but they left me feeling so sluggish, it didn't feel good. And it wasn't helping me sleep enough to want to try to get more, I was prescribed Restoril 15mg in April by a sleep Dr. I only took half doses 3 times. Again, it didn't help my sleep enough to ever make it worth it and just gave me bad rebound anxiety. Then I was prescribed hydroxyzine May 2021 (forgot about that when I wrote my signature, will add later). I've taken it around 5 times. It helped me sleep the first night, then not so much the next. Waited a week and tried again, it helped a little for sleep and calming, but not that much. It was mostly disappointing. Luckily it didn't seem to cause any rebound anxiety. But it doesn't help with much so I really don't take it. So, I did take my last Xanax around 1 month ago for a bad panic attack. And that was last time I took a benzo. My last hydroxyzine was around 1 week ago. My current symptoms are anxiety, depression, anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization (I'm never sure on the terms, it's the one where I feel like I'm in a dream, I can react to everyone normally and everything seems normal, but I just feel ... off, like I'm not connected to it all). Agoraphobia, I can push past it but it's hard and only if it's close to home or my husband and children are with me. Which really sucks because I used to love going out by myself or with my children, go on vacations etc... now I feel like I can't leave the house without forcing myself. This fear feeling is so horrible and there really is no reason, I just feel it. And intense insomnia, I can't fall asleep, can't nap, I get adrenaline rushes continuously as I'm trying to fall asleep, or less common are the hypnic jerks, and I wake early around 3-6am and can't fall back to sleep even if I've only slept for 1-2 hours. I like to think my sleep is getting better, as there some rare nights when I will get 5-7 hours. But those are followed the next night by not being able to fall asleep because of adrenaline surges. So, I'm probably only getting those nights from severe sleep deprivation, not that I'm actually getting better =( At one point I thought it was just anxiety keeping awake, but there have been plenty of nights I go to sleep with NO worries at all. I'm not over thinking or thinking of anything provoking and I still get the adrenaline surges at the point of falling asleep. It's seriously so maddening. It's going into 6 months since that day and my sleep is still not good. I thought it would last a few days, then weeks, then got my hopes for a few months. Now it's going into half a year. It started with panic and anxiety, but now depression is setting in and I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my hopes up, but it's so hard. I also have anhedonia and agoraphobia although I can push past it as long as it's close to home, but it takes a lot of effort. I do get some windows I stay home with my 3 small children and am not able to be the mother I want to be for them by feeling this way. Which again adds to the depression. So that's where I am. I hate that I took that zoloft and xanax. And for a long time now i was just blaming the zoloft. And now I've been wondering if the benzos have been negatively affecting me as well? I know I can't beat myself up over it. I try and accept my situation and believe that I will heal. But it's so hard and it all feels so dark sometimes.

Hi everyone, I am hoping to help others and find support as I struggle through prolonged effexor withdrawal. Looking back, I can see so clearly how the nightmare roller coaster ride with medications happened to me. While living in the middle of it, however, it took me a long time to connect the dots and jump off that crazy ride!. And unfortunately, I am paying big time with my health. I am a 34 year old previously very healthy woman. It all started in 2006 with xanax and ambien. I was about 3 weeks away from finals week in professional school when my dad passed away. Dealing with the grief from that and the pressure to continue performing well and passing all my finals in professional school led to bad anxiety and insomnia. I saw a doctor at the health clinic on campus and was given xanax and ambien. At the time, I thought these medications were great! Finally I was sleeping and felt calm. I ended up using them off and on throughout the remainder of school until I graduated in 2007. A few months went by, and then I entered the work force in my new career. This, too, was a very stressful time and I developed insomnia again. I saw a doctor and mentioned the medications that had helped in the past, and with no hesitation was given a presciption for xanax and ambien. I continued to take these medications off and on, and over time needed to increase the doses. I started developing rebound anxiety and insomnia, which got really bad in 2011. At the time, I didn't realize what was happening- I thought I just wasn't coping with life well, and couldn't understand why. I went back to my general practitioner, and she said I had a severe anxiety problem and needed an SSRI. I was desperate to feel normal again and trusted my doctor completely, and readily accepted her prescription for Zoloft (after she assured me the medication was perfectly safe). I picked up the medication, and after reading the side effect list, became very concerned and called my doctor. She said "you shouldn't read that list, now you are sure to develop every side effect on it, because most of those are in peoples heads"). I felt reassured by this and started the medication. Well, I had pretty much every side effect on the list. I won't bother to describe them, we've all been there. I told my doctor what was happening, she said to stick it out. Well, after 2 weeks of pure hell, I stopped the medication. Believe it or not, I then went through withdrawal from that 2 weeks of Zoloft. I developed paresthesia, among many other things, and went to my doctor. She said paresthesia is caused by anxiety, and that this proves I need daily anxiety medication. Of course I believed her, I was so vulvernable and physically sick at the time. She proceeded to put me on and off lexapro, mirtazapine, clonazepam, lorazepam, among others. Every time I started a new med the paresthesia went away within a day or two, but the medication side effects would be unbearable. This is when it started to dawn on me that the paresthesia wasn't anxiety, but was drug withdrawal, as I was recognizing a pattern. My doctor said it wasn't possible, drug withdrawal from these types of meds doesn't exist. I argued that I knew in my heart the paresthesia wasn't caused by anxiety, and that if it's not drug related, it must be an illness of some time. She sent me off to a neurologist which led to about $8000 in tests (blood tests, MRI, ultrasound for the constant nausea, etc etc). All came back normal, at which point the neurologist stated, see- it's anxiety and has been the whole time. I felt very disheartened, accepted my diagnosis, and took her prescription for effexor. I told her that every single medication made me terribly sick, and that I believed the meds and withdrawal from them are what had given me so many problems, and that I was very concerned about taking effexor. She assured me the meds had caused no harm, and that effexor is a wonderful medication, and very safe. She said if I didn't like it, we would stop it, no problem. Silly me started swollowing the pills like a good little sheep. Well, within 2 days the paresthesia was gone. I took the medication for about 2 months and told the neurologist I wanted to discontinue it, as it was causing side effects, and my reason for taking it (paresthesia) had resolved. She told me to take one capsule every other day for a week then discontinue it. I followed her instructions and the withdrawal was out of this world. I had never been so sick in my entire life. After doing some research on line, I stumbled across a web site (probably this one) which explained how to taper effexor slowly. I quickly re-started the medication, and after a week or so, began to slowly wean myself off over 2 months. I had only ever been on the lowest dose of 37.5 mg and thought this would be sufficient. Well, I still experienced withdrawal- slightly more tolerable, but still hellish, and also developed paresthesia again. After about 2 months of dealing with this, I decided to re-instate and taper again over an even longer period. So, I started my third and final taper from effexor in October 2013, and finished in March 2014. Even after such a low dose, and a fairly lengthy taper, I suffered withdrawal. It lasted about 3 months, then I had a period of ~2 months where I was mostly normal, then I got slammed again with severe protracted withdrawal in August/September 2014. So, I have been taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), and praying that this all eventually goes away. The most troublesome thing occurring for me right now, is that I feel as though I have fibromyalgia. I wake up each morning with pain at the base of my skull, and basically all over my body. My eyes are constantly burning and painful. My feet cramp up randomly. I also have severe digestive issues.These have been relentless for about 3 months now. These are things I had never experienced before my roller coaster med ride. I am very worried that these things are permanent. From what I have read, fibromyalgia never goes away. I just don't know if I have real fibromyalgia, or withdrawal-induced fibromyalgia. I am scared that I will have to live the rest of my life in pain and with bad tummy troubles. I am currently seeing a GI doctor and will have endoscopy soon (probably another big waste of money, will probably come back normal just like every other test). I just don't know what else to do. I take no meds, eat very healthy, and force myself to exercise almost daily. The weird thing is, when it comes to the pain- the more sleep I get, the worse I feel. Makes no sense to me! Anyhow, that is my story. I wish I had stopped after my first bad reaction to a drug, I would probably be recovered by now. If I had only known then what I know now! Sorry for the lengthy message. Any input or suggestions is much appreciated. Even if someone can just let me know the pain and stomach issues eventually went away for them, that would give me some hope. Thanks all, I appreciate you for taking the time to read this, more than you'll ever know!

Hello, SA! I have been lurking for a few days and am determined to stop “needing” SSRIs, or at least feeling like I need them. I’ve undergone a few years of CBT for major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and OCD. All in all, I’ve made a lifetime of progress in about 10 years due to a great therapist (after a few not so great ones), a great psychiatrist (after a few not so great ones), and a wonderful support network. I am extremely grateful for all these things and it’s part of what makes me feel so ready for taking this last step. I have the tools in my bag; I just need to use them. Long story short, it started with Lexapro + Ativan as needed around 2014, but Lexapro didn’t work well, so I switched to Zoloft for a few years. That helped, and eventually I stopped taking Ativan as well… and then I found a wonderful therapist, who taught me so much about how to react to things with more and more control. I experienced a few rather difficult intimate relationships (gaslighting, narcissism, etc.) which didn’t help but I got through it. In 2018, I found myself in a new city with a new job and eventually a new and supportive partner. At the end of 2018, I switched to 10 mg Prozac. In 2020, I stopped taking Prozac over what I realize now was too fast of a taper, and found the anxiety thereafter very difficult. I was sold on the idea that it’s ok to stick with a low dose but honestly, I’m done with it and ready to let my CNS do its thing. Personally, financially, career-wise, and relationship-wise, my life is stable. I am very active, but not planning anything major, not planning on having children (at all), just focusing on the here and now, so now is as good a time as any. I am worried that perimenopause (will be 34 this year and already experiencing some symptoms) in the coming years will make things difficult, but I’m tired of random dizziness, night sweats, having to take a pill every morning, and anxiety despite having an anti-anxiety medication. My biggest worry is the dosage. I have been reading a ton about safe tapers and I am ready and raring to go… but how do you taper off a 10mg capsule? And what do you do if your psychiatrist won’t prescribe it or your insurance won’t cover it? I can’t say that is happening as I haven’t even started the journey (again) yet, but want to be prepared. My second biggest worry is remembering to ground and use my CBT tools. I often get anxious when I’m in a safe place (or out in public but with trusted people), but that’s a behavioral thing that I believe I can deal with. As of 2021, I take 25 mg Hydroxyzine as needed for sleep (and allergy attacks as I was told it’s basically an antihistamine but if this is untrue or unsafe please let me know), but am comfortable stopping that too. Open to any and all advice and thankful for this page and this community.

HI, I found this site while searching around on Google in an attempt to figure out what could be going on with my brain right now. Quick summary: Most of last year, I'd been experiencing some fairly annoying anxiety - mainly situational type anxiety, like having to sit for prolonged periods of time on an airplane, or the dentist's chair. Long car rides were pretty awful. I finally decided to do something about it, met with a therapist, who pretty quickly recommended medication. So I met with a nurse practitioner, who initially prescribed Hydroxyzine. I did notice some reduction in anxiety, but it was extremely short-lived, and then the 'rebound' anxiety was nuts! Took it off & on for 1-2 weeks, but was not impressed. So next I was prescribed Zoloft. I was told it would take weeks to notice anything, but I felt the drug almost immediately, like the 2nd day. At first, it wasn't bad - my thoughts calmed significantly, and I remember thinking 'ahhh, this is what it feels like to have a quiet mind'. But by day 5, I was having nightly panic attacks, which I had never had before in my life. It scared the crap out of me, and I was told to stop taking them. So then I was prescribed Ativan. I took it fairly regularly (4-5 times/week), for about 3-4 weeks. I don't know what's up with my wiring, but I did not feel much relief from it. I always hear stories about how great benzos are for lowering panic/anxiety, but I just felt weird (and not in a good way). The odd thing though, is that even though I did not feel much relief after taking a dose, the rebound anxiety was insane. It's like I could physically feel the stuff leaving my body, and this indescribable terror/dread would creep in. So I was told to stop taking that as well. A few days after stopping the Ativan, everything went really bad. It felt like floodgates were released in my brain, and those gates had been holding back every horrible feeling imaginable, but couldn't hold on any more. It really was like a gushing of complete terror. I'm kind of freaking myself out just typing about it. Since then, it's been pretty much like that constantly, with not much let up (about 3 month). I will occasionally get a day that gives me hope, but it is quickly replaced with another dark run of days. It's getting to be unbearable, so I guess that leads to my questions: 1. Is it really the meds that caused all this? I only took them for a short amount of time - it doesn't seem possible that they could have done so much damage in such a short amount of time. 2. What should I do now? Should I attempt some other medication, but at a much lower dose? I don't really want to, but this feeling is unbearable. My dr. has mentioned gabapentin, and Trintellix. But I'm hesitant. 3. What about other non-medication options, like TMS? Anyone had success with that? Anyway, this is getting long and rambling. Thank you in advance for any advice. I look forward to reading other's suggestions.

Original topic title: Olanzapine cold turkey (out of presumptuous stupidity, I destroyed myself, and now I am trying to save at least a part of my being) On October 20, 2021, I started olanzapine 2.5mg. per day (which I was advised to split into two doses, to take half in the morning and the other half in the evening), recommended to me by a psychiatrist as a remedy for chronic insomnia, and on November 11, 2021 I abruptly stopped using this medicine, as I read in internet about its extreme neurotoxicity. On the evening of November 14, 2021, something terrible happened to me: something seemed to be turned off in my psyche forever, I lost my whole self, i.e. my emotions, interests, hopes, dreams, hobbies, motivation, flexible intellect, and ultimately the will to live. I tried to restart olanzapine on November 15, 2021, but at that time I did not know anything about effective strategies for reinstatement of the drug, and therefore, already on November 16, 2021, I stopped olanzapine again, but, exhausted by insomnia, had to take 25 mg. quetiapine, which have been in my medicine cabinet for many years without use. On November 17, I impulsively returned to olanzapine, but after a couple of days I stopped drinking it again in order to resume taking it at the end of November, but this comeback was also extremely short-lived and did not exceed the duration of the same couple of days. On November 29, 2021, I took olanzapine for the last time, but the neurotransmitter chaos, provoked by my stupid thrashings, seems to have done me irreparable damage. Over the next three and a half months, I tried to pull myself out of this anhedonic pit with various supplements (I tried fish oil, 5-HTP, St. John's wort, green tea extract, tyrosine, biotin, citicoline, Alpha GPC) multivitamin complexes (I mean B vitamins), peptides (for two weeks I was regularly injected intramuscularly with cortexin) and even psychopharmacological drugs prescribed to me by other psychiatrists, but with drugs of this class I again behaved as haphazardly as possible (about 8-10 times during these months I took phenazepam at a dosage of 0.5 mg., it at least minimally relieved anxiety; 5-7 times I drank hydroxyzine at a dosage of 0.25 mg at night, but it did not help me sleep at all; for three or four days I took a combination of venlafaxine, lamotrigine and trazodone, and once I took two capsules sulpiride, the content of the active substance in which was 100 mg., and one tablet of phenibut at a dosage of 250 mg.). Now I realize that my behavior during these months was absolutely suicidal, and probably only the prompt reinstatement of olanzapine could have saved me, but now almost three and a half months have passed since the last dose of this medication, so my chances of self-preservation seem for me absolutely ghostly. I hope that something else can be done in this situation: I have already completely lost hope for rehabilitation, I have practically not slept all these months due to permanent panic and bouts of neurocognitive hypochondria, I don’t understand how I still haven’t made suicide, because it is unnatural to live in such a state.

Hi, I am in crisis right now and desparate for help. I tapered off effexor 1 year ago and have had no psychiatric meds since. The past year has been rough with prolonged withdrawal and bouts of anxiety along with way, but for the past 3 months I have been doing very well (working a stressful job and handling it well, traveling, etc). For the past week, seemingly out of the blue, I am having severe, debilitating anxiety and insomnia. I also have odd physical senstations that I haven't experienced in quite this way before (odd nagging nausea-not the anxiety kind, but the flu kind; extreme muscle pain; periodic cramping of my hands and feet; a buzzing or tingling sensation in my arms and legs; weakness. I saw my doctor, who ran blood tests- everything is normal. I saw her before the anxiety started- at first, I just had the flu-like symptoms, then the anxiety hit. I don't know what to do....I am going to have to resign from my job (a well-established, successful career of 9 years). I aleady took a leave for 1 month 6 months ago when I was having a bout of bad withdrawal. I feel desperate for relief, and am so desperate that I would even go on meds again (although I swore they were the worst thing I ever did to myself and that I would never touch them again). Is there any chance this is still a delayed withdrawal? Please if anyone can offer me advice, I really need help right now. Thank-you.

9 years ago, I was prescribed 10mg of generic Prozac after a traumatic incident in my life that left me nearly catatonic. I continued on that dose for 7 years. Approximately 2 years ago, after a stressful work situation, my primary care doctor suggested I switch my antidepressant as he thought it became ineffective after so many years. He switched me to a dosage equivalent of generic Lexapro for a short time. I complained about a spike in anxiety so he then switched me to 50 mg of generic Zoloft. Shortly thereafter, I experienced major depersonalization and brain fog. I eventually went down to 25 mg of Zoloft and, somewhere in the midst of this, I experienced some other obscure health symptoms (pressure in head, tinnitus, dizziness, fatigue, neck and head pain, etc). I saw many specialists who all said my health checked out. I ultimately decided I wanted off of my antidepressant and my doctor recommended halving my dose for a week, and another, then stopping. I experienced some peculiar insomnia/hypomania, agitation and flatness the first few weeks, but, overall, I faired well. It wasn’t until about 2-3 months later, I would know literal hell. I have been imploding with anxiety, trembling, not eating, experiencing an avalanche of panic attacks, and not sleeping for 24 hours at a time- during which time I have rapid, intrusive thoughts teetering on hallucinations. I can feel my nervous system destabilizing and have an overwhelming feeling of dread. It has felt as if I’m on the precipice of permanent insanity. Sunday, I went to urgent care where I was prescribed Hydroxyzine for sleep and I was told I could not experience withdrawals 2-3 months after discontinuation; I was told I was experiencing a relapse. I have never experienced this kind of insomnia and anxiety prior to antidepressants. Yesterday, I started back on 25 mg of Zoloft. Today, I was prescribed 7.5 of Mirtazapine for sleep until the Zoloft takes effect. I will eventually address tapering again, but it won’t be through the suggestions of healthcare providers. Hopefully, I can rely on another’s experience for a successful taper. For now, I feel highly skeptical and disappointed in modern practitioners. I am hoping to stabilize my nervous system soon.

A little back story in 2019 I got into a car accident and it completely changed my life. I can't remember if I hit my head or something inside my brain triggered something. I had extreme anxiety and didnt leave my house for three months, that is when i first put on my first medication Prestiq and Busbar. They worked for about a year and then it stopped throughout the years I have been on so many different medications. I feel like this year was completely different. This was my last year of college and I couldn't get through the day without an anxiety attack or feeling like I was going to faint. my doctor decided to put me on Quetiapine, Gabapentin, Busbar, Zoloft, and then take Hydroxzyne as needed for the panic attacks. None of these really worked and I was suffering everyday pushing myself during student teaching. I made it through and graduated but feel like I lost myself a little bit. I feel like being on five medications at once damaged me or something but how am I supposed to know that? I am supposed to trust my doctor to help me. A couple of weeks after graduation I noticed my anxiety became full on even more than before and I started to feel disconnected or out of it all the time every single day. That is when I decided to switch doctors. I decided to go to a different doctor and I got off of four of the medications so now I am just on Zoloft. She decided to put me on Lamictal because she thought I needed a mood stabilizer. That lasted about three weeks and I said no it's not working I want to get off of all the medication. I am off of Lamictal and just on 50 mg of Zoloft. I have come off of Zoloft before switching to another medication but I haven't not been on any medications in four years. I am scared that I have done so much damage to myself already and that my body or mind won't heal. The only struggle that I am having is the disassociation. That is something that goes on all day every single day of my life for about a couple of months now. I can't even leave the house most days and now I am looking for an online job for now because it is becoming difficult. I am only 25 but I just feel like this is taking away parts of my life that I should be enjoying. I am trying to stay positive by eating healthy and clean, working out, doing yoga, pushing myself to go out every day ( even though most days I can't), taking vitamins, trying superfoods, and communicating with my family, friends and therapist. Some things that I have been experiencing are: -Feeling out of it -Lack of energy -Headaches/Dizziness -Sadness I feel that the only symptom that is holding me back is being out of it or disconnected. It is holding me back from doing a lot of the things that I want to be doing. If i wasn't feeling that all of the time I feel like I could "function" better and push myself more. Next week I go to 25 mg of Zoloft. Hopefully this is the start of my own success story!

Hello. I'm 21 y.o. male. My story with ADs. I was taking Cytalopram ~8 months in 2019, then I stopped it myself as I was not seeing any effect. 07.07.2022 I took first 30mg of prescribed duloxetine before sleep. (Also I was prescribed it with Lamotrigine, Atarax. I strated them a week or two before.) After 2.5h of sleep I woke up with strange feeling. It was difficult to focus, it was getting dark in my eyes. Seems like my pressure got low so I even called to ambulance, but they said ti is just adverse effect and it's ok. Then it got better, but it was a strange feeling in my head all next day. I drank a lot of water (~6 liters) to decrease this drug effect. I was trying to sleep, but wake up every 1-2 hous. I read about a possible PSSD, even after a few days of taking it. Fortunately, yesturday I tried and it seems like it was ok with orgasm. Also I slept today and seems I'm feeling better, but have slight kind of lightheadedness. Of course, I wouldn't take this drugs anymore. Maybe you can reassure me that nothing terrible will happen to my brain from one pill? I would like advice about some lifestyle changes/supplement/diet to minimize effects of this drugs and reduce anxiety. Btw last few months I used to go to the gym and eat healthy diet. When is the best time for me to exercise? Thank you in advance. I appreciate this community.

Seroquel Abillify Wellbutrin Prozac Lexapro Zoloft Paxil Buspar Hydroxyzine Trazedone Cymbalta Lamictal Propanolol Oxcarbazepine Prazosin Xanax Celexa Amitriptylin Ambien Mirtazapine Hi, 33/F Ive been on all of the above medicines at some point or another from 2002 to recently. I have stopped them all with no withdrawl issues..... except for something very strange has happened recently. Is this withdrawl? Current Meds: Prilosec (GERD), Lasix (IIH) , Lisinopril (BP) I was taking zoloft a couple months ago, and a bit after i started that, i started mirtazapine. I had Covid around this time too. It was very mild. Biggest symptoms were being a mucus fountain, sore throat, a little bit muscle weirdness, and weird headaches, including headaches WHILE sleeping. a couple weeks later my situation changed, im in a much better, happier place (unrelated to meds), so i stopped zoloft. (I have been on zoloft before and had no withdrawl symptoms). Not long after that, i had a weird depersonalization with my hands. Now, i am a very scientific person, i do not act based upon emotions as much as i can... I have no body dysphoria. I was riding in a car on a day i was kind of tired, didnt sleep much (hard night of minecraft), and all of a sudden my hands felt like they weren't my hands. If I'm on my phone texting, my brain just goes "HEY WHY ARE THOSE FINGERS MOVING? THOSE ARENT MINE. WOW!" and my brain is amazed that they are moving every 10 seconds. It's the most disturbing thing Ive ever felt. I don't feel it if I can't see my hands, so for example, if I'm texting In the dark or at my PC. This feeling primarily happens when texting on my phone. Wearing fingerless gloves dampens the effect slightly. I've been really upset over it, and I feel my back and arms be really tense and sore, which is normal for when I'm upset . The only Injuries to happen recently was I was cut by my washing machine, and my cat scratched me. No numbness or tingling at that time. I've been going to therapy since 2003, and have only ever been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so I am not insane. I have not gone through anything traumatic recently. If anything, I've been having a really good time this month, for the first time in years. Fearing it could be the mertazpine, i stopped it. about a week later, i started sweating profusely at night. drenched. No nightmares. no anxiety. just DRENCHED. a few days after i started to get drenched every night, i woke up SOAKING wet one day, my spine started feeling cold and numb and i had a panic attack. My muscles didnt work, it was as if i were drunk. my head was fuzzy and confused, and i stumbled BARELY into the bathtub. I managed to get into the bathtub, still clothed, and into hot water. I felt a little better, still confused. arms and spine still feel a bit weird,. I went to the ER for the first time in my life. They found nothing wrong. EKG, Chest Xray, Blood work, pee test, and they gave me an IV for hydration. while im glad its nothing seriously wrong (i guess), i am still freaked out by waking up drenched. I still get really upset being cold by being drenched. My arms and hands feel very twitchy. sometimes my legs. I had some mild tingly-ness in my fingertips for a couple days, but thats gone now. It feels the more days go on, the more twitchy i get, and IDK if its med withdrawl from mertazepine, since i only took it for a month. I LOVED the med. i slept really good and had AWESOME dreams.... I have an appt with my general dr on the 30th, but im afraid theyre going to tell me more of "we dont know whats wrong" Feeling twitchy and cold and fuzzy and panicy all the time is absolutely ruining this change in my life that is the happiest ive been in a long time. I am just -so scared-. Also for the record, i keep my house around 70F, so i dont get hot or cold due to environmental factors. I do not get hot or sweat while i am awake. I do not feel hot at night. I seem to feel a bit better as time goes on throughout the day, and im scared to sleep because i know im going to be drenched and panicing. The only thing that has seemed to have improved, is i dont know if i just got used to it or what, but when texting, i dont get a lot of the "My hands arent mine" feeling anymore. but my arms and hands still FEEL physically weird being twitchy. Im holding myself tight and having soreness in my shoulders... I am well aware that i should not be stopping meds cold turkey, but i have never had a problem before this, so i am curious if it could be the issue? Medicine withdrawl? tetanus from my washing machine? Cat scratch fever? Am i finally going crazy? I am scared. what do you all think?>

I had Bilateral Carotid Body Tumors (benign) removed in 2005. I developed numerous symptoms of Autonomic Dysfunction due to vagus nerve damage. Feeling down in 2016-17 and decided to try Escitalopram. Wasn’t really depressed or anxious, and should never have started. Went into a gradual mental decline. Developed a lot of negativity, cynicism, anger, fear, paranoia. Decided to come off Lexapro in late summer. Went from 10mg to 5mg to nothing over the course of 6weeks. Once off developed severe withdrawal symptoms. Current symptoms are mostly heavy anxiety. Went to ER once about 3 weeks ago. They prescribed me some Hydroxyzine to alleviate anxiety. Have been using them sparingly (maybe one every other day). Been using some CBD oil, Athletic Greens, Omega 3/6/9 over the last two weeks to reduce anxiety. It comes in waves for me. I don’t want to reinstate if possible. Are there other things I should consider to reduce anxiety levels? My timeline is currently at about 4-5 months since cessation. Thanks so much.

Hi friends! Thankful to discover this forum. I’ve had a heck of a year and been through many SSRIs, SNRIs, benzos and betas. I had been on lexapro for about 7 months until recently when I just felt like I was laying in bed a lot and not motivated to do much. It had either stopped working or never really was. I was also on propanolol for a few mos with the lex and that helped a lot with extreme panic moments. When I talked to a psychiatrist last week she said I could stop taking lex and prop and switch to buspirone to try. I told her I wanted to at least taper the lex while trying buspirone. So I did that and was on it for a week at same dose and then she said do one week every other day. The first day I skipped my lex was a nightmare. Went to urgent care and they did negative flu and COVID tests because symptoms were so bad. They said they don’t know what to recommend for the meds but it’s likely withdrawal. Called my psychiatrist and she had me stop the lexapro and buspirone and start effexor and hydroxyzine. So I started effexor at 37.5 7 days ago with hydroxyzine 3x daily. It was fine until this week (1 week later) when she recommended Increasing to 75mg effexor. It was Awful and I suffered all day. Tried to get a hold of psych and she didn’t call back didn’t call back and then this morning I just took 37.5 mg because that was the lower dose and i wasn’t about to double it again. Her staff finally called back and said I could just stop effexor. When I asked what I should do next or if I should just lower back down to the dose I started with they had to ask and call back. So then they called back and said I could go back to the lower dose. So today I’ve heard two different things. I can stop taking it or I can go back to lower dose. I just want to be off. It’s only been a week but I’m over it. I’ve tried too much and my body just isn’t handling it. Do I need to taper having only been on the lowest dose for a week? I have a video call with her on Monday but I don’t want to just “stick it out” on the low dose til then if I’m planning on getting off of it Monday anyways. I’m going to suggest starting propanolol again by itself. I just don’t know what to do at this point with the effexor.

Hello. I've heard many good things about this site. I'm finding Remeron to be a tricky little devil. I tapered from 7.5 down to 5.0 mg too quick...like 3 weeks! I thought I could sail off it like I did Valium and Trazadone, but not so. I'm taking a break for a week or two so I can stabilize. I generally stabilize rather quickly, but this one took more time. I have friends who are suffering from protracted w/d after decent tapers from Remeron, so I'd like to avoid the same. Has anyone crossed from Remeron to Prozac since the latter has a longer half-life and might be easier to taper from?? I haven't found any equivalency tables, so I'm not sure how to exchange them properly. I'd like to know how to do that. If it's recommended that I taper the Remeron, is there a file where I can find helpful tips to do it safely? Thank you in advance!!!

Hi, my name is Brianna. I’m 24 years old and a mom of 3. I have always suffered with anxiety. For many years I treated my anxiety with marijuana and that seemed to work although I would still have anxiety in certain situations. Mid/late last year I got fed up with the outside judgment of being a mother that smokes & being told I should be on medication so that’s what I did. A “holistic doctor” prescribed me Effexor 37.5 for a week then up to 75 and I think I got to 100 and something mg. Then I started to feel terrible! So I decided to stop taking them, (big mistake, I know but I was new & naive) I went 3 days without anything and then reinstated at 37.5 after having unbearable withdrawals. It took me over 2 months to become stable on 37.5. During those 2 months i was put on hydroxyzine at night to help me sleep & I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and put on Methimozole as well as propranolol (beta blocker) to help with the hyperthyroid symptoms. Eventually I stabled out and joined the Effexor support group on facebook. That’s when I realized I needed to get off Effexor safely and slowly. I then did my first 10% taper. It messed me up for 2 weeks. Symptoms included- constipation, diarrhea, loss of appetite, nausea, racing heart, muscle tremors, anxiety, etc.. It was awful and I was advised by the support group to try to taper less next time after I stable out since 10% may be too much for me. But here I am about 4/5 months later and having those same withdrawal symptoms again and I have NOT done another taper. Some people have called it tolerance withdrawal, others have said it could be from my other medications I’m taking. 4 days ago I started magnesium glycinate supplements, & last night I added a omega 3 to that before bed. I’m not sure if the supplements are helping at all yet but I’m just looking for some kind of relief. That’s when I was advised to come here and for advice. I don’t know what to do and I’m extremely overwhelmed by all this. I’m praying somebody here can help me pin point the cause of my issues.

i need some advice and/or help in navigating where i'm at with all of this. i have tapered with the help of, previously an inconsiderate doctor, and currently an excellent one. there were times where i was shifted about from tapering lexapro to various different antidepressants, i cannot remember all of them as there were many, but trintellix and was one of them. after a severe (and still recovering) bout of health anxiety, i stumbled upon the ashton manual (around november 2018) and folks talking about their experience with coming off of benzos. since i was taking ativan at the time, it was my scapegoat. i tried kicking it, lurked in various places online for other people's experiences, and started to shift my view to it being less about the benzos, and more about the psychiatric medication as a whole when it didn't quite work out. since february of 2019, i have tapered off of three medications in order: trileptal, geodon, and lexapro. the trileptal was easy enough, but the geodon was a world of hurt. in my signature i've listed that the lexapro and geodon were tapered at the same time- this is to the best of my memory, which is spotty due to the polypharmacy. i know the geodon was the priority, but i seem to recall going back and forth with lexapro's dose while dealing with the geodon withdrawal- which assuredly caused the only psychotic event of my life. i switched doctors after being told to simply 'take the geodon every other day for awhile,' which said doctor told me not to do with the lexapro, and i couldn't handle the fact that my appointments were less than five minutes long. i switched to a new professional, and they are great. i was introduced to the compounding pharmacy for the geodon since it did not go any lower than 20mg, and following the completion of that taper in sept 2019, i focused on the lexapro, which is now completed. i am no stranger to windows and waves, which are thankfully getting much better and easier to tolerate- though the waves are still intense. there are too many symptoms to list, but the FINISH acronym is very apt and applies to me, mostly the zaps, gastrointestinal issues, and insomnia. my biggest concern at the moment is dealing with my sleep issues. previously it was a complete lack of being able to sleep, but now it is more of a reversal of my circadian rhythm. 12 hours on the dot to when i could be waking up otherwise, and i cannot simply 'fix' this as far as i have tried. i have a lot of frustration about having been medicated for entirely the wrong things as a result of being diagnosed with a mental health condition that i do not have by a 10 question piece of paper at a doctor's office, but it is well beyond in the past to change it now. i cannot beat myself up for this, as i was dealing with a gnarly living situation at the time and thought they could help. they could not. this frustration, coupled with having a frazzled nervous system and having a wholly messed up sleep schedule, is getting to me. i have to tell myself that it's okay to be healing right now, as there is not much that is expected of me, but i am having trouble essentially pep-talking myself into feeling better when i feel terrible from still withdrawing. while i am done with all of my medication, there is much healing to be done, and i am very tired of how long this has been going on. apologies for the long post- i felt it necessary to post a bit of history/context, and i have trouble being unprompted for these sorts of things. i have not used a forum in a long time!

Greetings all, Around July of last year i suffered a direct blow to the temple (by far the worst pain I've ever felt in my life) which lead to me having a concussion, shortly after that I smoked what I thought was weed with my roommates but it turned out to be a drug called Spice. These two events led to me having hallucinations one day and I checked myself into a hospital. Long story short they didnt diagnose me with anything they just doped me up with 8 different medications some of the ones i can remember are Abilify, Depakote, Risperdone, Zyprexa, Ativan, Vistril, and Lithium ( i can't recall the other drugs names). I was on so many meds I don't remember the first two days I was there. Long story short they held me against my will for three and a half weeks before I was able to get a different doctor and get released. Since my release I have felt emotionally numb i cant feel happiness or joy, sadness nor pleasure. I feel like I have lost some intelligence, as well as vocabulary and my creative ability. Prior to being given I was very creative all my life I enjoyed writing music and poetry, I also loved playing sports mainly football, Working out, Playing video games and watching movies. I no longer get any enjoyment what so ever from anything i once found interesting. I find it hard to carry on a conversation I feel socially unconfident due to the fact that I feel like i cant think like my brain is just an empty slate. I get major headaches that occur pretty much everyday, I have insomnia (I can fall asleep just fine but wake up at the same time every night which is 3 am). Also I have experienced a tremendous loss of libdo and interest in sex like i just dont desire it anymore, I really feel like I lost myself and I'm scared that I wont get my pre-med self back, I have been doing everything in my power to get my life and old self back I have been seeing a pdoc who prescribed me zoloft which I feel isnt working and also trazodone to help with sleep. I have also been going to counseling sessions weekly which has helped a little. I have done extensive research and have come across many people who are experiencing the same things that I am and we all have the same question can the brain recover from antipsychotics and if so how long does it take??