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Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!

Hi fam- so I’ve just turned 32 after what’s seemed like a decades-long book of a psychiatric journey. At age 13 I was admitted to the hospital for severe depression. My family decided to perform an intervention to get me out of bed and into the hospital, due to not being at a place to deal with the conflict. My mother a neurologist, father an endocrinologist, and to-be-doctor sister at the time, failed to intend to resolve the issue outside of psychiatric means. So I was put on Zoloft… my first medication in a line of maybe 15+ drugs that Ive had a regimen for in my life. But I come to this forum nearly 20 years later and realize what my journey has been like, my yearning to get back to who that passionate individual was, superseding all bounds of the medicinal chaos that entrapped me for most of my life. but I’ve found good structure in my life as of late. Past all the suicidal years in my late teenage and early-to-mid 20s. I started a family, with a wonderfully empathetic wife who supports me in my journey. I had met her having gone Cold Turkey for a complete stint of two years before … more trauma. we lost our baby boy in March ‘21 during a traumatic uterine rupture. God bless him. three months after, my rage knew no bounds and I ended up striking my wife.. and I ended up hospitalized after a suicide attempt… the last in the line of 6 attempts throughout life. I was then out into an IOP program, the fourth time I have participated in one so my skills were really in for polishing. I remember being the “wise” one by my peers and even the mediators themselves. All in all I picked up my toolkit, for helping in my structure in many ways. I have no regrets here. my life has become pretty stable, with the vraylar since then, along with the time old and tested Lamictal that I take to feel that so-called “mental clarity” of my 20s. I take 10mg of amphetamine to abide by the demands of working in a high-paced IT consultant gig. It does its tricks, but makes me feel like a token minority (indian, here) and like I live up to fewer merits without it. So it needs to go. Eventually. But my diagnosis of ADHD inattentive-type is pretty seriously affecting me and need to cope with it as best as I can. I rationalize this with taking the low dose and having deliberately open conversations around this and all my drugs with my psychiatrist. He’s supportive of me looking into tapering which is nice. so I want to start with vraylar and lamotrigine subsequently. I think my bipolar diagnosis can go to hell, just like when we threw out borderline personality disorder. Hell, I’m not even feeling like I’m up to dealing with them stigmatized labels anymore like being inattentive or autistic. I just want to be free. oh yeah, smoke a bong dab a day for calming the nerves. Peace and love. Thank you kindly for reading.

Hello everyone, I was on and off different medications, including multiple SSRIs, from adolesence into my late 20s, which ended with a very bad clonazepam withdrawal. The following decade had its challenges of different PAWS symptoms, including some bad waves, but for the most part, I lived a fairly rich and functional life. My withdrawal from Lexapro in 2007 was also extremely quick and took many years of tinkering with supplements, exercise, and other methods to deal with, but over time it was fairly manageable. Over the past year, as personal issues mounted one after the other, I found myself in a state of genuine psychiatric crisis. The benzo PAWS precipitated a two week period of extreme dysautonomia and insomnia which was helped with Trazodone, and I was back to being chemically stable for the next month or so. However, the psychological issues that existed independently of any of these chemical questions were not adequately addressed, and after a period of extreme spiraling, I attempted to reinstate Lexapro at 5mg, which I took for one day. Within a few hours, I found that pretty much all my lingering SSRI PAWS symptoms were gone, I was thinking extra clearly, and was feeling quite optimistic. The next day, however, I found myself experiencing intense anhedonia, brain fog, and anxiety, along with other symptoms that I attempted to ameliorate with some supplements that had previosly helped but ended up just inflaming everything. Over the next couple days I experienced unprecedented DP/DR, inability to feel emotions, and a bizarre difficulty crying. At the end of the week, I took a dose of about .1mg which that night again ameliorated most of the symptoms, only to have them return over the next day or two. In the past few weeks, I've instituted a true microdose of around 0.01-0.02mg, which has seemed to attenuate some of the DP/DR, but the the emotionlessness has remained. I also implemented low dose lamictal, and I can't tell if it's helping or revving up my system even more in the long run. I've found, oddly, that when I don't take the Lexapro microdose for a day, the dyspnea/emotional blunting actually goes away, so I don't know what is caused by the SSRI, what's caued by withdrawal, or what is psychological. Even after bringing the microdose back after one day off, within seven hours after taking it, I actually feel my mood lift, followed by all the other symptoms mentioned. Right now, I'm having immense trouble thinking clearly, much more brain fog, headache, emotional flatness, and more tingling in my feet along with dysautonomia than usual. I don't know if I should attempt to switch to Prozac or sertraline, increase the Lexapro, dose it multiple times a day, get off entirely, add more lamictal, remove the lamictal, or what. Like many others on this forum, every option feels like a bad one with hidden risks, and I have to remind myself to not feel personal guilt over this situation. Thanks very much for any help.

I had been on some form of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic since high school, 2002 or 2003. Initially I was put on Zoloft for depression which caused me to become "manic" which lead me to be put on Lithium, Abilify and Risperdal (not sure doses or when). Starting around 2008 I was put on Cymbalta and Lamotrigine/Lamictal. I got off the Cymbalta & Lamictal cold turkey on my own in 2011 and it resulted in brain-zaps and then a deep deep depression. I reluctantly got back on my meds. Beginning in 2020 (exact date I'm trying to find), my psychiatrist agreed to help me taper off my meds. I was able to get off the Cymbalta it seems fairly easily, which I have been off since the end of the Summer 2020. After getting off that I began tapering off the Lamictal ... I'm trying to find information on how much I lowered initially, etc., and don't have it right now. I do know I got down to 100mg by November 2020 and had to go back up to 150mg over the winter due to debilitating depression. Starting in ~March 2021 I began tapering again (again don't have exact dates/dosages as of now). I have detailed records of my tapering beginning in May 2021 when I began using the 25mg tabs to taper: 5/18/21 (May 18) - 6/13/21 (June 13): I alternated daily between 87.5 mg one day and 100 mg the next day (87.5mg/100mg/87.5/100) 6/14/21 - 6/21/21: 87.5mg each day 6/22/21 - 7/11/21: 75mg/87.5mg/75/87.5 7/12/21 - 7/26/21: 75mg each day 7/27/21 - 8/8/21: 62.5mg/75mg/62.5/75 8/9/21 - 8/30/21: 62.5mg each day 8/31/21 - 9/12/21: 50mg/62.5mg/50/62.5 9/13/21 - 9/26/21: 50 mg/day 9/27/21 - 10/10/21: 37.5mg/50mg/37.5/50 10/11/21 - 10/24/21: 37.5mg/day 10/25/21 - 11/7/21: 25mg/37.5mg/25/37.5 *On November 1, 2021, my dog and best friend of 10+ years, the Big Guy (110lb. half boxer/half mastiff), died after a brief fight with cancer... in retrospect I should have ceased tapering at this point; instead I continued my tapering in earnest and began to self medicate excessively with alcohol and cannabis 11/8/21 - 11/21/21: 25mg/day 11/22/21 - 12/5/21: 12.5mg/25mg/12.5/25 12/6/21 - 12/20/21: 12.5mg/day 12/21/21 - 12/31/21: 0mg/12.5mg/0/12.5 January 1, 2022 - Present: Off Lamicital Completely I had no idea about this site or a couple days ago. I have been realllllly struggling this whole year but especially the past couple weeks. Some days I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed. Some days I am "functional." I have major brain fog where I can hardly think most of the time (which is not good for my job!). I can't hardly make even the most basic decision. It is bad. I am desperate. I do not know what to do. I really don't want to get back on the Rx. I'm looking for suggestions on how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I have been sober (no alcohol or cannabis) since January 1st as well. I workout, do Wim Hoff breathing, garden, meditate/pray and eat mostly organic. Supplements: EMPowerPlus Lighting Sticks, 5-HTP, Vitamins C, D, B-complex (6&12) & K2, Magnesium Glyinate, Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract; Just started taking St. John's Wort a couple weeks ago I don't really recall withdraw symptoms (depression) prior to my Dog being diagnosed with cancer in September 2021 (which coincides with me getting down to 50mg/day)--since he was diagnosed and then passed Nov. 1st, I have been mostly depressed. The brain fog didn't really start that I recall until ~January of this year when I was totally off -- but I could be wrong. Since November of last year, it has kind of been a blur. On another note, while not directly related to withdrawal, I am very unhappy with my current career and have been for some time. I think doing something that goes against my values and not really knowing what my purpose is has a big impact on me feeling depressed. However, right now with my brain fog and depression, I am having a really hard time doing any work whatsoever. So my purpose now is to get past these withdrawal symptoms so I can find my purpose in this world and what gift I can offer to other people. I am VERY wary of getting back on any RX and do not want to go that route if at all possible. Thank you if you read this far and I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed!! -Will

Hello All, I have been on and off this community for almost a couple of years now and finally when the registrations opened I thought I will join to make my journey more systematic. Originally diagnosed with GAD when I was 18 years old and been through a cocktail of drugs (complete timeline at the end). Over the years, the diagnosis has morphed into GAD, OCD and Depression. The last drug I was prescribed is as follows Clomipramine 75mg Lithium 800 mg I have been using this for about 2 years now, and in the last 6 months or so I have observed that I have almost unlimited energy, talk a bit too much and struggle with sleep. Specifically I have Nocturnal panic attacks, which keep waking me up and eventually I get tired of the chest tightness, walks, excessive eating at night and finally fall asleep around 3AM. My Psydoc, asked me to lower Clomipramine to 50mg. This is approx 6 months ago, I did accordingly and symptoms of OCD (intrusive images), lack of energy, crying spells etc came with full force. Hence I restored the dosage back waited 6 weeks to stabilize and commenced on a slow taper approx 10/11/2023. A bit more on the insomnia, I don't have trouble falling asleep, its just that I wake up with panic attack, some time restless leg syndrome. I frequently get more than 4 or 5 panic attacks per night. I have been prescribed Valium 5 mg, which I have been taking for over 8 months now. When I have good spell, I take half (2.5mg) so in total I would have been 60% time taking 5mg each day, and 40% time taking 2.5mg. I am fully aware of benzo dependence and try my best to lower it the best I could but currently I don't want to disturb too many things in one go. Back to my primary medication, My first taper step was 12.5mg (I know it is a big jump, but since I had benzo support I thought atleast I will take this first step higher than 10%) right now I am at 62.5 mg Clompiramine. approximately 6 weeks into it. Anxiety is on the rise but manageable currently. There are good and bad days but overall I am managing to do my tasks. Hypo mania / excited state has definitely gone away and I do have some lethargy and lack of motivation at times. Psydocs wasnt keen on slow taper but I put my foot down that that's how I am going to do it, he is supportive reasonably although he may not believe my approach. I do get second thoughts if I am doing the right thing or shall I listen to my psydoc and add another medication to the mix to manage. So far I have resisted and am coping. I intend to stay at this dose for atleast a few more months before taking another cut (definitely within 10% this time). Valium I will continue till I have stability on clomipramine 50mg. Then will decide how to proceed from that point. Long way to go, wish me luck. 2001 - Generalized anxiety disorder (derealization) - Lexapro 10 mg 2008 - Lexapro 20 mg (increased due to post baby blues) 2010 - Lexapro 30 mg 2016 - Lexapro 40 mg 2019-2020 - Lexapro stopped working, rapid tapers and switching to Fluexotine, Effexor, Remeron etc caused severe depression 2020 - Tried TMS but no avail. Suicidal ideation. Ended up in ER 2021 - ECT sessions to treat Major depressive episodes, discharged from hospital with Effexor 225mg but it wasnt managing the situation 2021- God send Psydoc, identified OCD as a contributory cause, put me on clomipramine 75 mg and Lithium 1500 mg 2021 - 2022: Dosage stabilization at Clomipramine 75mg and Lithium 800 mg, overall high energy state with brief almost hypo mania episodes here and there. 2022-23: Insominia kicked in due to nocturnal panic attacks Nov- 2023: Clomipramine taper started 62.5mg

Hello everyone, I registered on this forum a while ago, and finally decided to introduce myself as I'm thinking about trying tapering from my meds again. I have read through the threads of tapering off lamotrigine and fluoxetine before but would like to hear other people's history with these meds and not just on tapering but also if you experience similar side effects(?) while on them. Here's my history of psychiatric medication (sorry that it's so long, I wanted to give all the important details) : I'm in my thirties. I've been on psych meds for three years. I was first put on them after I got a serious burn-out/depressive episode. It was most likely caused by very stressful work conditions (I am a social worker), but I remember having similar but much milder episodes before that. My main psychiatric "symptoms" were always very physical : mostly crushing fatigue, low-key anxiety that feels like tension in my chest. Mentally it's usually a lack of interest in anything and hopelessness, sometimes light derealisation. I have been on several different drugs and drug combos in varying doses (fluoxetine, lamotrigine, venlafaxine, fluvoxamine, sertraline and occasionally several benzos to deal with acute anxiety) which never "worked" or "stopped working" after a while or seemed to make things worse. Since then I went through several episodes of doing "better" and then the return of the above-mentioned symptoms. Until July 2022 when I was put on a combination of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine, which seems to be the combo that seems to be "working". This is what I am taking now. My mood is pretty stable (although kind of flat). Anxiety is low or non-existant. I can function okay on it. However I feel "off" and I have a hard time telling if it's the meds, residual "symptoms" of depression or something else altogether. I experience morning grogginess, constant light somnolence during the day, fatigue, sluggishness, muscle weakness, feeling a little "out of it", almost a little drunk, difficulty concentrating, slight memory issues and a sort of flat feeling where I don't feel particularly happy not sad. Most of the time these symptoms are light and I can function more or less normally but I have some days or periods when they become more severe and everyday life becomes more difficult, especially at work. I used too exercise a lot, for example. I used to love climbing and running and now it's too hard and not exciting at all. When I mention these thing to my psychiatrist he always seems to be slightly skeptical and keeps saying that fluoxetine is a stimulating rather then sedating drug and that lamotrigine shouldn't be causing somnolence especially at such a small dose. After doing well for several months on this combo, my psychiatrist agreed that I may taper off fluoxetine if I wanted to but insisted I stay on lamotrigine. He suggested I to do the usual alternating one pill and half a pill for a few weeks, then half a pill every day, and so on. I think I stopped fluoxetine over a period of a little over two months. I understand now that that was a very quick taper even for fluoxetine (I didn't know it then). However, I don't remember any serious withdrawal effects aside from maybe occasional slight dizziness. It seems that sleepiness and fatigue decreased at least at the beginning although didn't go away completely. After being completely off of fluoxetine for two weeks or so, I started having the depressive symptoms again which led me to believe that I really "needed" the drugs so return to my usual dose and felt better quickly but return to my usual slightly "sluggish" state. Later, when I learned about psych meds withdrawal, I started to suspect that maybe it wasn't a relapse but rather withdrawal effects from a quick taper and decided to try tapering off again but much slower. This is where I learn about antidepressant withdrawal. My psychiatrist agreed to prescribe me fluoxetine solution which allowed me to taper in a more or less recommended 10% increments. I was taping very slowly over a period of many months. Again, I don't think I had many usual withdrawal symptoms aside from some light dizziness and occasional slight agitation. But then I started to get impatient and especially started to suspect that sleepiness and sluggishness was mostly due to lamotrigine. So I started to taper off of it, at the same time (which was stupid, I realize), and very quickly (stupid) because lamotrigine pills dissolved very badly in water and I felt like I couldn't get the right dose at all. So I want from 100mg to 75mg and the after several weeks to 50mg. Again, I don't think I had any symptoms that could be attributed to withdrawal. But when fluoxetine was close to 10mg and lamotrigine at 50mg I slowly started to feel the return of depressive symptoms, and particularly the crushing mental and physical fatigue. Everything became hard again and I barely could go to work. So after struggling for many weeks I decided to return to my previous dose of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine. I started to feel better quickly. I returned to my usual sluggish state but at least I could get out of bed and go to work and be able to manage. I started to believe again I may need to take these drugs for the rest of my life. It's annoying to always be sleepy and sluggish and I still want to stop the meds. Not only because of the side effects that seem to be causing, but also become I am not sure they are "actually' helping. I don't know what to believe about the actual reasons of mental difficulties. My symptoms always feel very "physical" and I am unsure how they can be dealt with through therapy, for example. So this makes the biomedical theories sound plausible. But at the same time I've been living without meds in the past and there are so much evidence about their ineffectiveness. And I often wonder how much of its action is placebo effect in my case. So I am planning to start tapering off fluoxetine again, by 10% increments and then eventually hopefully off lamotrigine (which seems to be the recommended way). But I'm afraid to not have enough patience again, or to being unsure what are symptoms symptoms, what are withdrawal symptoms and what is normal part of ageing or some other medical problems altogether. I would like to hear other people's experiences. By the way, I take both fluoxetine and lamotrigine in the morning. I tried taking them at night or splitting the doses and it only made things worse : worsened sleep, intense and vivid dreams and increased grogginess and sleepiness.

20 years on effexor and buspiron due to depression - anxiety. One year on lamotrigin. I started tapering in 2016 because of adverse effect. Effexor 150 mg to 75 mg by addwise from doc. No problems. Next on 37,5 and hell broke loose. Reinstated on 75 and kept it there. While tapering I was sat on lamotrigin 300 mg over a couple of month. No effect! Started tapering buspiron 10 mg x 2 august 2017 and is know on 6+6 Started tapering lamotrigin nov 2017 and is now on200 mg. After reading here I got in doubt. Am I tapering in the best way? Recomondation?

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

ADMIN NOTE Every nervous system is different. You may find a modification of the below method suits yours better. It is only a suggestion of a place to start if you're very sensitive to dosage reductions. Listen to your body and tailor this method to it. Calculators: BrassMonkey Slide Online Calculator tapering-calculator-at-reversepsychiatry.org simple-brassmonkey-slide-tapering-spreadsheet (below in this topic) BrassMonkey Slide – Pick your taper rate Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases Making a liquid from a tablet or capsules Using a digital scale to measure doses The Brassmonkey Slide Method Starting a taper can be a very scary proposition. I’ve heard is mentioned repeatedly by our new members and even by members who have been on extended holds and are about to restart. The overwhelming concern is fear of the symptoms that can be unleashed by reducing the drug in question. I was as bad as anyone else, I was scared to death before I started my taper, and just for that reason. Most of us try to research our taper before we start, so we can make a plan and have some idea what we are getting ourselves into. That research often includes reading a lot of other people’s stories, which can be very upsetting. This can be a source of a lot of misinformation, out of context statements and vivid details that are hard to ignore. Which is why we have a large number of forums that give detailed information of how, when and why to taper. The symptoms that are experienced during a taper can be far from pleasant and keeping them at a minimum is a prime goal of any taper plan. With this in mind, the protocol of reducing a person’s dose by 10% of the previous dose every four (4) weeks was established. Over the years it has proven to be a good starting point and has been very effective for many people. It does, however, prove to be too harsh for others. The second option is the “micro-taper”. This involves reducing a tiny amount every few days over a very long time. It does a great job of reducing symptoms but is very tedious and takes a very long time to complete. There needs to be something in between. Something that can reduce the effects of the symptoms and yet doesn’t take forever to complete. This is where the Brassmonkey Slide Method comes in. The idea behind the Brassmonkey Slide Method is to maintain the speed of a standard 10% taper while reducing the symptom load by taking the reductions in smaller bits. When I was researching my taper, I observed that there was a large hit of symptoms that occurred several days after the reduction was made. These symptoms would then peak and decrease over the next several weeks until the person would return to an average state of feeling bad. My idea was that if the reduction were taken in smaller pieces fairly close together you would experience reduced symptoms for a shorter period of time and by doing reductions back to back, as the symptoms resolved, a person could maintain a 10% reduction and experience reduced symptoms. The basic Brassmonkey Slide Method consists of four (4) weekly reductions of 2.5% in a row with an additional two (2) week hold. This gives a total reduction of 10% ever six (6) weeks. Although it isn’t the standard reduction plan it is very close. The extra two (2) week hold is very necessary to let the cumulative effects of the four (4) reductions settle out and things return to baseline before attempting the next reduction. So, the reduction schedule looks like this: Week 1 reduce 2.5% Week 2 reduce an additional 2.5% (for a total of 5%) Week 3 reduce an additional 2.5% (for a total of 7.5%) Week 4 reduce an additional 2.5% (for a total of 10%) Weeks 5,6 Hold at the last reduction level This schedule proved very effective for the duration of my taper and has been used by many others with great success. But, it’s not the only way to do it. Some people find that even on this schedule the symptom spike after each drop is just too great. For them the answer has been to take even smaller reductions. Any combination of four (4) small reductions and a hold can be used. A reduction of 1.25% a week will yield a total drop of 5% or a reduction of 0.625% would give a total drop of 2.5%. A very popular method is to reduce by 1% a week. We need to keep in mind though, the lower the reduction percentage the longer the taper will take to complete. The half-life of a standard 10% taper is six months. Meaning that six months from now you will be at half of your current dose. If the taper is reduced to 5% the half life doubles to a year. Likewise a 2.5% taper would have a half-life of two years. No matter what the reduction rate is it is very important to maintain the two (2) week hold every round of four (4) reductions. The symptoms that we feel after a drop are only a small part of what is happening to us. Psych drugs work by making physical changes to the body. As we taper these changes need to be undone in an orderly manner, so the body can continue to function the way it is meant to. If we don’t allow time for these changes to be made properly, they pile up and pile up until there are just too many of them. The body then gets very confused and a crash occurs. That crash will take a long time to correct and stabilize. This behind the scenes repair work is one of the keys to the Brassmonkey Slide Method. By making smaller reductions the bodies “to do” list is kept to a manageable size and most of the tasks can be completed before the next reduction happens. Giving the body an extra two (2) weeks helps make sure it has enough time to get it all done. If the reduction is too large then the “to do “ list is also quite large and the body has a much tougher time getting started on the jobs and figuring out what to do first. Another benefit to the Brassmonkey Slide Method is that it feels like it is very proactive. I see a lot of comments from members who feel like they are not doing enough to help themselves get better. Making any decision and sticking to it is being proactive with a taper but the long periods of time between decisions can cause people to lose track of that. By making a controlled reduction in dose every week it makes it appear that things are progressing faster, even though the total reduction is the standard 10%. This can be quite a boost for people who “want to take control of the situation”. With all these changes being made it is a good idea to keep written records. This will help track your progress, but it will also help keep things from getting confused. With a constantly changing dose it is very easy to lose track of where you are and start making mistakes. The records don’t have to be elaborate. I tracked the date of the reduction, the amount of the reduction, the strength of the dose in mgai and the weight that I would measure on the scales in mgpw, on a weekly basis. Mgai, milligrams active ingredient, being the strength of the dose starting with the full strength listed on the bottle and reduced by the percentage of the reduction each week, i.e.33.2mgai. While mgpw, milligrams pill weight, being the weight of the dose that is measured on the scales, starting with the weight of a whole tablet and decreased by the percentage of the reduction each week, i.e.265mgpw. Example: October 23; 2.5%; 33.2mgai; 265mgpw As with any taper it takes a long time to get off these drugs. Using the Brassmonkey Slide Method is a way to keep that time as short and as painless as possible, while maintaining a feeling of control and allowing your body to make the changes necessary to heal in an orderly fashion.

Hello, let me introduce myself. My name is Tom, I´m 45 and I struggle 6 years with anxiety/depression. I think it si time to take different aproach because I have no real success with drugs. I have been in several therapies(CBT, group, individual) which help to some degree . Coping strategies are very usefull. I´m staiyng in individul therapy now. I was always irritable person with some perfectionism and litlle anxiety(difficult childhood, rejection) .My story begins in 2014, five years after our son was born. In that period me and my wife have been in constant stress and sleep deprivation raising our baby(birth health issues) and work issues. One year before my breakdown my wife had unexpected abortion with second baby, after that she had to go back to work. It started one year of relationship crisis on top of all that stress. So on summert vacation after long, problematic flight I collapsed in hotel room with panic. Spent couple fo days in hospital in possibility of apendixitidis(psychosomatic reaction). After return home I was put on SSRI and it was total hell and it put me in a place of doom. Since then I didnt recover to previous state. I tried multiple drugs, sometimes in combinations. The higher dose or drug combination , I feel exponentially worse. Years of despair. I don´t have normal response to psych. drugs (except benzos). I have lost several good jobs because I cant stand to much stress and had breakdowns after few weeks at work. No I have dissabilty status and working as gardener in company for people with mental health isuues(almost a year, so big progress). In those years I left my wife so many times and came back. I think I lived in toxic relationship.My wife cheated on me few moths after i have been diagnoised, so it take a big toll on my already bad mental health. I was trouble for her, not feeling real compassion and willing to help me. I was annoying her. We tried to make our marriage work but It didn´t happend. Now we live separatedly 8 months and facing divorce after 20 years together. I can see my son every week which helps. I have to deal with loneliness, never lived alone before, now in different town where only my mother lives. No friends around(lost most of them during my illness). But! I feel better now than six years ago, i think time and therapy helps, not so sure about meds. I know I´m sensitive to normal life stressors, which I try to minimize but facing them. I want to make some progress towards recovery. I spend as much time in nature as I can. I take suplements (B vitamins, magnesium citrate, fish oil). I´m trying to solve relationship issues. My doc is pushing me to take higher doses even if i feel it doesnt help and keep telling him. After all that years with no succes I believe there shoud be some different aproach. So i make some tappering on my own but i don´t want to mess it up. I now take 50mg of Trazodone and 50mg of Lamotrigine plus 0,5mg of Clonazepam per need. I have good days and bad days. I have not been stable for longer period last six years, I have mood swings. Hiking and biking helps me the most. And keep my anxious mind busy, but it´s exhausting. Any advice for me please? Tom

Hello. I know I need to make my drug history timeline and will do so within this week to the best of my ability. I have been on numerous medications for more than 9 years. I was on different meds from 2013-2018 but really only one at a time. My initial diagnosis was OCD. The symptoms escalated with the birth of my 4th child in 2018 and I ended up on 5 meds at the same time. I wanna say for about the last 12 months I have been experiencing numbing (started on my cheeks, then moved up to my head, and now it feels all over my body.) I can move everything fine but the feeling is very weird. For about a year I have also experienced sudden involuntary movements. It started with one foot and now it happens with my arms, hands as well. Not terribly strong but yes it is a worry. The doctor decided to take me off of effexor cold turkey in February of this year because the numbing and sudden jerk movements she thought were due to it. That Feb. appointment was actually an emergency appointment because my thoughts were so strong I was in a very bad dark desperate moment. Also in that change, she increased my luvox and lamictal (doubled the doses basically). Because the numbing and jerk movements still persist, doctor wants to taper me off of Fluvoxamine. I want to as well, I am determined to put forth my best effort to one day be drug-free. I had an appt. a week ago where we agreed to go down to 175 mg (from 200) daily but now I know that 180 would be a better new dose (10% reduction recommendation). She doesn’t seem to be acquainted with slow tapers. I never picked up the new dosing from the pharmacy and today I found a compound pharmacy that can make the 180mg doses. Called doc today and let her know I would prefer her to send a prescription to compounding pharmacy but she says to keep with what we had agreed and have an appt next week. She sent 100 mg tablets and 25 mg tablets to my regular pharmacy (mainstream) . So I could make 175 mg doses (what she insisted on) but I know thats more than 10% reduction. Is that too much of a change? Should I try? Or I could do 187.5 mg by splitting one of the 25s in half in the meantime. Which of the two would you try? One thing to note: pharmacist told me that the 25mg tablets were not “marked” so by cutting them in half there would be no guarantee that the two parts would be equal strength? I really don’t want to stay at 200mg any longer because it is taking a toll on my body that seems to be getting worse by the day. Input will be greatly appreciated. I am a mother of 4 small children (pre-k through middle school) and need to be in the best health as possible for them. ❤️Thank you all!

Hi Everyone! A friend of my recommended this site where l hope to get some support. For 2years ago around the covid l collapsed mentaly and the Anafranil l used to take did not worked anymore. After that my doc tried 10different antidepressants (ssri ssrn etc) none of those seemd to work. I feltbso bad that l spent 4week in a mental clinic where they described my Parnassan (10mg in the evening) Agomelatin (50mg in the evening) Lamolep (100mg in the evening), but somehow l dont feel better. At the moment my anxiety is that strong that l had to take Frontin (benzo) 0,25mg to calm down. I am so fed up this meds those are poisoning me l am sure. I dont know what to do, how to start getting off them. l take also some supplements like magnesium, omega3, copper, zinc, b complex, probiotics l would appreciate some support! thank you

Link to Hibari's Success Story: hibari-polydrugged-benzos-twice-and-now-im-well Link to benzo forum thread - Hibari: Swtich from Ativan to Clonazapam Hi, I have been Remeron since April 2014 reaching a dosage between 37.50-41.25 I also have been on Lamictal since September 2014 reaching a dosage of 200mg. I began a taper of the Remeron with my psychiatrists knowlege, I think at the end of February/March? Hard to remember with my somewhat foggy brain. I am now down to 28.125-tapering at about 10% for each cut. My withdrawal has follwed a specific pattern. I make the cut, feel some nausea but okay, then after about 2-3 weeks have a crash, depression, crying, and anxiety. Then I pop through and move into a more stable period. I think I let myself stabilize for about 10 days and then make another drop. My question is about starting a slow Lamictal withdrawal at the same time. I may be overeacting but when I read about what Lamictal can do to the brain, along with other antidepressants, I want to start the taper now. I do have some professional obligations happening over the next few months but I don't want to stop my progress. I like many others I have read am very impatient about getting off these medictions. They served their purpose to help me after a long stressful period of caretaking-7 years-and then the death of my mom 2 1/2 years ago. Any thoughts or experience about taper from two drugs at the same time. Thanks. Hibari 28.125 Remeron 200mgs Lamictal

Hello, first, I want to emphasize that English is not my native language. A brief overview of my medical history: Since the age of 21, I have had depressive episodes treated with Seroxat and Zoloft. Between these episodes, several years could pass. I easily stopped taking the antidepressants, even though I didn't gradually reduce the doses. Due to mild depression, in September 2021, I asked my psychiatrist to prescribe me an antidepressant again. After just two weeks, I felt better, my energy returned, and the depressive thoughts disappeared. I wasn't aware that the antidepressant had actually triggered hypomania. In March 2023, I stopped taking the antidepressant again. In May, the depression returned with full force. I went back to the psychiatrist and told them about the hypomania. She prescribed Zoloft (50mg), lamotrigine (50mg), and olanzapine (5mg) for sleep, even though I didn't have sleep problems at that time. My condition didn't improve; in fact, I felt like I had lost myself, my emotions, and the will to live. I also experienced a rapid heart rate. The diagnosis of bipolar 2 was not confirmed. My psychiatrist even claims that I don't have bipolar disorder. I suspect that olanzapine is the main "culprit," which is why I tried to stop taking it CT. Immediately, insomnia appeared, and I had to restart taking it. That's when I started researching how to safely taper off this drug and found this website. Since September, I have been gradually reducing the dose of the medication every 3 weeks. At first, it was more than 10%, so now I'm at a dose of 1.125mg since January 10th. I usually notice withdrawal symptoms after about 6-7 days. Initially, I had nausea, diarrhea, difficulty sleeping, anhedonia, and depression. The nausea and diarrhea are now tolerable, and I think kefir has helped me the most. My sleep is between 4 and 8 hours. It's hard for me that my emotions have dulled. For a while, I couldn't even cry. I have managed to do so twice in the meantime. As contradictory as it may sound, I was happy that I could cry. I live in constant fear of how intense the withdrawal symptoms will be. On this difficult path of getting off olanzapine, I would like to hear about experiences. With a reduction in dose, under the condition that the dose is reduced by 10% from the last dose, do the symptoms become milder? Will my emotions at least return a little during the reduction? Will I be a little happier? Is it possible that Zoloft is not working because I'm taking olanzapine? Regarding a potential bipolar disorder, I am going through real agony. I constantly question the last 27 years - have I ever been hypomanic without realizing it? Was the hypomania caused by Seroxat really bipolar disorder? Will I have to take medication for the rest of my life? I have lost trust in psychiatrists. I feel lonely, ashamed, and I'm not even able to talk to my husband, sister, or mom about what I'm currently going through. My husband doesn't even know how olanzapine affects me or that I'm trying to get off it. By the way, as I write this, I'm crying, which I suppose is good. I wonder what I have done so wrong to go through what I'm going now and if I will ever be the way I used to be.

Hi, I’m new here. 👋 I’m surprised of having such strong withdrawal symptoms going down just 1% from 57,5 mg to 57 mg of Zoloft, starting yesterday. High anxiety, agitation and headache. Could stopping Lamictal 4 weeks ago affect the Zoloft withdrawal (I only took 25 mg of Lamictal for 19 days)? I’ve been on Zoloft for more than 20 years. I made a MRI and it showed I’ve had minor strokes effecting parts of the prefrontal cortex which my psychiatrist says can explain my sensitivity. Any thoughts are welcomed!

Hi everyone! In order to understand how i came where i am in my life, i will try to give you brief story of my life. Born if dysfuntional family with alcoholic father who was making living hell of the lives of my family and me. During one of those events i was almost killed at the age of 7. All of that lasted for 10 years. Then war broke out, years of insecurity, danger, poverty, never knowing what next day might bring. Anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, horrible self-esteem and confidence were following me throughout my life. At one point of my life, i decided to leave my homeland and look for the happiness somewhere else and i landed in Malta, tiny island in the Mediterranean. Only once i was removed from such environment i was able to focus on myself and look for help. My doctor that i met in Malta diagnosed me with cyclothimia, or bipolar disorder. I was put on lithium carbonate in july of 2018. But, for years i havent seen improvment, i was suicidal every now and then, my relationships were chaotic. Then, in 2020 i met my trauma specialized psychotherapist who told me after first season that i am having CPTSD. When i told that my pdoctor, after one low phase due to relationship issues he placee me on Lamictal in june 2020. I worked with my psychotherapist for 1,5 at the time when Lamictal dose rose again to 150mg. Since the introduction of Lamictal my life was a nightmare, but my doctor kept rising the dose, even though i told him in a few emails that i am afraid how it is affecting me, that i am highly suicidal and anxious. He told me to rise it to 200mg and never replied to my emails again. After a month and a half of that dose of 150mg I got overdosed on painkillers and ended up in the hospital. Since i was convinced that Lamictal made all of that mess, i was removed from it completely in the hospital. I was on 150mg at that point. That was the breaking point for me and thats when i decided to go off all medication. I continued with psychotherapy, changed my lifestyle, started doing brazilian jiu-jitsu,stopped abusing weed and my life changed for 180°, which was another sign that meds were doing me only bad and that i have to get off them. In September i went from 800mg of lithium to 600mg on my own. I changed my doctor eho, regardless of my whole history i told him, kept bipolar disorder diagnosis with PTSD, even though i did not have one, but reccurent traumas that lasted for more than a decade. Then i made a break until may of 2022 and my psynurse lowered it from 600 to 400mg. I got flu like symptoms, nausea, i was vomiting for 2 days, my whole body was sore. On the next check up in june of 2022 they did not want to lower my dose more, so i realize i do not have their support and that i had to do it on my own. I was on that dose for 2 months and at the mid of July i went down from 400 to 300mg and withdrawl symptoms were horrible, same flu like symptoms and such weakness in my body that i could not walk 10 meters. I had horrible nightmares for days. On 12th of August i lowered from 300mg to 200mg and even though i feel a bit down, my worst side effect are nightmares that are with me for the last 10 days. I was looking for forum like this for literally a year and i know it would be much easier for me to taper it down without a lot of trouble, but it is what it is. What should be my next step? Should i continue with 10% rule? Thank you for all of your support and time you are putting into helping.

I read that it is more difficult to withdraw from a drug with a short half life. It is suggested to switch to a different drug with a longer half-life of the same category (i.e., antipsychotic) before tapering off (mind.org.uk). I have been on Risperidone for 5 years. I started tapering in April at 1.0 mg and am now on 0.70 mg. I am considering asking my doctor about switching to Zyprexa, another antipsychotic, and then tapering off Zyprexa. Does titrating off one drug and onto another need to be done as slowly as withdrawing from a drug, i.e. 10% every month or something like that? Has anyone had experience titrating off an antipsychotic onto another antipsychotic? Since Risperidone has a short half-life, I am concerned that it will be hard to switch onto a drug with a longer half life. According to Medscape, the half-life for Zyprexa is 21-54 hours, and the half-life of Risperidone is 3-20 hours. Thank you!

Hi all - new to the forum and very grateful for the members who are walking the path to get off these SSRI. I was always depressed as a child and was prescribed Lexapro in 2003. 2004: Prescribed Cipramil instead of Lexapro after going hypomanic for 6 months, and lamictal to stablise. Got diagnosed with bipolar II... 2014: Came off lamictal with no issues, stablised using a buttload of coconut oil to stablise and a paleo diet. 2004-Dec 2015 - 5mg Cipramil once a day. Noticed that Cipramil stopped working from mid 2015 and decided to stop (only lasted a week) with severe WD symptoms - dizziness, diarraha, flu like symptoms, anxiety, OCD thoughts etc.... 20 Dec 2015 - 2.5mg Cipramil a day hoping to taper by 10% per period, depending on tolerance. Am feeling kinda ambitious and want to go down 10% once a week but will most likely fall on my face, which is fine too. Been doing really well this week - I can feel below my belly button and my sex drive is coming back! Went on a boat and did want to die (One of the side effects was painful sex and really crap at travelling on boats/cars/bus). But am feeling really tired alot and a little dizzy, nothing to write home about. Need some help fro other more experience members with WD.... Q1: A friend of mine is trying to convince to try Kambo - anyone tried this? I am really skeptical and don't think I am up for it as am feeling abit fragile and in addition to being depressed I have fairly constant inflammation (eczema), never mind its like $140 per treatment (!!) http://forums.phoenixrising.me/index.php?threads/from-bedbound-to-fit-and-able-in-14-days-effects-of-the-amazonian-medicine-kambo-on-a-cfs-patient.22952/page-4 Q2: Also read about the prozac bridge which seems like alot less trouble, I am seeing my shrink in January should I ask for this to try? Since I have never even had prozac (I have only ever had SSRIs) so not sure?

Are you taking extended-release fluvoxamine? Or extended-release lamotrigine? You need to take fluvoxamine and lamotrigine on consistent daily schedules. Inconsistent dosing may cause some of your symptoms. We cannot tell you if these drugs are right for you. Have they made your life better? Please look at the adverse effects of every drug you take on drugs.com and see if you have any of them. Memory issues are quite common adverse effects of both fluvoxamine and lamotrigine. When did you start 100mg lamotrigine? Please put this information in your signature.

I had the first manic and psychotic break at 2006, I was 28, mother of a small child. I was admitted to the ER and given a high dose of olanzapine and mood stabilizer, sleeping pills. I don't even remember those first few days, I was locked in a psych ward without any visit from a psychiatrist for 3 weeks. Then I begged to go home (still psychotic but they didn't know) and they let me go home, where I continued the treatment, although I was feeling really unwell, desperate even. With time I got better, then went to a private psychiatrist that put me on quietapine and a mood stabilizer. I took the meds 2 years, struggling to lead a normal life. My brain wasn't functioning well, I felt incapacitated. I managed to find a job but I wasn't happy there to put it mildly and even though I was taking the meds I ended up manic and psychotic again, I divorced my husband, the police went to get me at work to take me to the hospital... This time they didn't commit me and I ended up taking arpiprazol, sleeping pills, and maybe a mood stabilizer. I lost the job, went into depression, but I found the doctor that still is my doctor today. He took me off aripriprazol when he could and I started taking lamotrigine. I never sought a job again because I felt humilliated by the whole situation, I eventually got together with my husband because our separation was all due to my mental health problems at the time. I stayed home with a lot of trauma and low self-esteem for 5 years but with no symptoms. My husband gor me a part time job in his company and that's what I do now. But in 2015 my doctor went to another hospital and I got a new one. I didn't dislike her, I had a crisis that year and after depression. I was put on olanzapine and sleeping pills, and when the olanzapine was over the sleeping pills remained so my brain got addicted to them. She gave me an antidepressant that got me manic and I was miserable, I decided to take matters in my own hands. I quit the antidepressants and the sleeping pills, changed my diet, started exercising (I was fat from the drugs) and lost 15kg while trying to control my mania with olanzapine but I didn't take enough and had another crisis, this was 2017. I was committed and took a huge dose of olanzapine and all the other meds again, the doctor told me that medication was for life and I nodded. As soon as I got out of the hospital sought out my actual psychiatrist that followed me in 2009. I said I wanted the least ammount of meds possible. I started making a very detailed diary of meds and symptoms and slowly got off of everything but olanzapine. He thought I should take preventively 5mg everyday but that dose makes me less human, so I went down to 2.5mg and he was very pleased with how I functioned although I was in a bad depression. In last May the depression finally lifted and I started exercising more and lost 10kg that meanwhile I had got from olanzapine. This winter I'm reducing even more olanzapine, my plan is to wean it off and try another antipsychotic in the spring doesn't mess with my sleep. I'm sleeping badly and having anxiety but I don't want this med anymore, or at least not take it everyday. It's a long story, I started trusting the doctors and doing everything they said but today I'm way more critical. Everyone is surprised when I say the little I take. My seasonality is also something peculiar, I don't get manic or psychotic in autumn of winter so I'm weaning off now. I'll get there eventually, wish me luck.

Hello all fellow mental health warriors, I am having a tough go of it currently. I was on an SSRI (of some sort) for 20 years. My most recent psychiatrist and I decided to try to bridge me over to Lamictal 50mg ER to see if my sexual side effects from the SSRI would go away. They did, (which is amazing) BUT Lamictal has given me such severe headaches and now such severe insomnia that I am now relying on Ativan now almost every night. My psychiatrist recently tried me on very low dose Mirtazapine (3.75mg), as a substitute for Ativan, which made me sleep for 12 hours and made me dizzy for the next 48. I am currently unsure if I should just stay on the benzo (Ativan) which does not leave me groggy and dizzy all day and try to taper slowly from there or keep trying liquid Mirtazapine (Remeron) at maybe 1mg per night for sleep. I also am going to request liquid Lamictal to taper eventually but for now, I am tolerating it ok. I want to be drug free so bad but I also need to sleep to function at work and give my children a functional mother. Currently waking up crying in the middle of the night at 2 or 3 pm and unable to fall back asleep. Just wanted to reach out to the community for support. With love and hope, L

About three years ago, I went to a new psychiatrist, highly recommended by my therapist, to ask him about getting off the venlafaxine and clonazepam I was put on 20 and 15 years ago. When I left I had two new prescriptions: bupropion and lamictal. He thought I was severely depressed. The lamictal was supposed to counteract the effects on adrenaline production of long-term use of venlafaxine. It worked overnight. I enjoyed a few years of relatively good mood. I was also 3 years sober then, and now 6.5 years. Quitting all psychotropics has been on my mind for years. An early experience with Paxil in the 1990s--I took it for maybe a month, tops, but it made me groggy. I became sicker than I'd ever been--flat on my back with vertigo, horrible nightmares, and continuous nausea, as well as the brain stuff. Lucky for me, all this cleared up after about a week. Of course any doctor I spoke to about this had no idea. I am here to learn about weaning, and to find support for making a decision and beginning the baby steps.

I apologize in advance for the long winded post while trying to keep it as short as possible...Been on so many AD's over the years since being diagnosed (hospitalized) in 1996 with MDD and severe OCD (rumination) Did inpatient ECT treatment in 2009 while on Zoloft as well...I couldn't remember all the timelines and noticed I forgot a few meds when signing up...Months ago I was struggling on a dose of 60mg Paxil combined with Lamotrigine 250mg.....Seemed like the meds had lost effectiveness which has happened many times over the years usual 3-5 is the most I get out of a med...Been on Paxil/Lamotrigine approx 7 years this time and this combo is 1 of only 3 that had worked effectively since 1996 with alot of struggling in between.Anyway started taking some naturopathic stuff that seemed to help and decided to come off the prescription meds thinking if I could be stable great if not I needed to switch anyway.From past experience in my case when meds stop working or don't work they do more harm than good. When my Doc had me increase the lamotrigine I realized it was aggravating a psoriasis skin condition so I tapered off that.(likely way to fast)....After a few weeks off lamotrigine I started reducing my Paxil dose of 60mg...Went to 50mg for a week,then 40,then 30 and I was feeling great,as good as I ever have...Ignorance truly is bliss as I had NO idea what I was about to be in for...I reduced my further to 20 then 10 after each week still feeling pretty good.Within a week my anxiety gradually soars,can't sleep,brain zaps when moving eyes,nausea and to make matters worse my sense of taste has gone haywire....I eat because I have to but don't enjoy eating anything and can't stomach the taste of some foods I once loved. March 18th was my last dose of Paxil at the time...I looking online for what had helped other people (benadryl,Nyquill,green Gatorade) at various places when I came across this site and thankyou in advance for having it. 2 Days ago after 2.5 months the withdrawals were not easing up so I reinstated 10mg of Paxil hoping to alleviate the withdrawal...So far my anxiety has diminished and I can sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time...I'm a self employed mechanic and the past 2 months have been crazy busy and I needed to do something to get some relief as the withdrawals were not letting up anytime soon although the brain zaps were far better and few and far between. My biggest concern at the moment is this nasty taste to food and obviously I need to get some sleep as I'm still working.Very tired and not feeling great but all things considered not bad,just running out of energy and hope to get stabalized for awhile..I have a Doctors appointment next week and am looking for some advice in advance as I try to come up with a plan moving forward....Any input is appreciated

ADMIN NOTE Please see bambam's Introductions topic here. Hi all. I am 13 Months off lamictal. I initially started it for anxiety while driving or being in crowded places. I was postpartum and still breastfeeding so the NP I saw pretty much used my mood swings from lack of sleep and irritability as a way to convince me I was bipolar. She said lamictal would eliminate all the issues I was having. My son was still waking up around 7 times a night to nurse so I now know that my issues were from being postpartum, family trauma that happened while I was pregnant, and lack of sleep. I started at 25mg and titrated by 25mg every two weeks. Once I got to 75mg I started feeling panicky and extremely anxious like never before. My heart was racing and I was in constant fight or flight. I went down to 50mg on my own and felt better so I returned to the doctor and she swore I am bipolar and it wasn’t the medicine causing my issue and it was my bipolar progressing she said I needed to go back to 75 and get to 200 before I felt better. Since she was a doctor I listened and believed her. Once I went up to 75mg all hell broke loose. Panic anxiety pacing wanting to cry but not being able to feeling so dissociated and out of life. I found a different NP that said I didn’t need lamictal and wasn’t bipolar and to ween from 75 to 0 in 8 days and start buspirone as I was weening. Stopping the lamictal made all my issues go away and starting buspirone made me so nauseous and sick I lost 20 pounds fast since I wasn’t eating and still nursing. I was on the lamictal for 8 weeks total and the buspar for 2 weeks. I’m not sure if it was the Lamictal getting out of my system and BuSpar I’m getting in my system or a combination of both but about the second week off Lamictal second week on buspar I was so dissociated I would look at myself in the mirror and had no idea who I was. I physically couldn’t cry I’d didn’t care about anything. I experienced three day long panic attacks. I thought I was literally going to die and that I needed to check myself in somewhere but my husband advise me against this because they were just put me on more medication. The three day long panic settle down a few days later, but then I entered into this constant state of dissociation, weird brain sensations and depersonalization. For months I couldn’t laugh or feel joy at all. I felt like I was living in a dream every day. It was so hard for me to get out of bed, knowing I was going to feel this way and try and take care of my kids, intense panic and anxiety would come in waves that would last a few days and I would have to take an Ativan to make it go away. The brain sensation was the worst of it all I cannot even begin to describe it to myself or to anyone to understand really what it is. The closest definition I can find is either depersonalization or dissociation, but it didn’t go away when I closed my eyes, it would feel like the darkness was pushing away from me, and like I was floating and this would cause me to panic so sleeping during this time was very difficult. It is now getting better where I can nap and go to bed at night without the fear of this sensation. I was very hopeless during this time. I had two kids to take care of and everyday was a battle between feeling fake or having panic attacks. I considered more medications many many times but my husband reminded me daily that my brain was healing and that I would recover and the brain thing as I call it would go away as well as the anxiety. He was my rock. I couldn’t have done it without him. Magnesium glycinate make my weird brain thing and anxiety worse. I don’t think I’ll ever know what exactly the brain sensation is all I know is it caused me great distress for over a year. Large objects or certain images would trigger it. I thought about the ocean and the sensation and panic started. Very odd. My worse “wave” was in month 6 when I was taking the magnesium glycinate. The panic attacks were so bad I became acrophobic but my husband suggested he noticed me getting worse after starting the magnesium. It took awhile for that to settle back to withdrawal normal. In month 9 I went on a plane to visit my dad and though I felt dissociated and fake I enjoyed myself and was glad I went. This website was a great help to me. I was gaslit by any doctor I tried to see that told me there was no way eight weeks of this medication and two weeks of a BuSpar could cause me to be experiencing this at all and for so long. my husband was the only one that really believed me and of course you on this website. Most of the time I feel pretty back to normal I will get a little waves here and there were the brain thing will pick up if I am tired from a night of insomnia, or a day where my anxiety is a little higher than usual, but I just fight through it and tell myself it’s a wave and I will be feeling back to normal again. I really don’t think about the year I suffered that much at all unless I think about it. I still have insomnia on and off around my cycle but it doesn’t leave me completely zoned out anymore. During the darkest days of my recovery, I wanted to unalive myself and didn’t think I would ever recover ever feel normal again. I was glued to my phone because looking at my surroundings made me feel fake and foggy and panicky. I thought I was in a permanent state of disassociation depersonalization derealization. that I would die before my kids got to grow up but now these days I am back to working and I feel pretty normal. We go out and do outings and activities and I don’t even have to worry about carrying a benzo around with me in case I have a panic attack, although I do keep it in my bag just out of habit. It’s been months since my last panic attack and I am loving my life again and excited for the future. Once I got to the one year mark it was like a flipped switched and my issues became less and less noticeable. The only thing that helped was time. I prayed a lot and still do. My husband helped me keep faith that one day I’d be ok again. I still have some healing to do. I do hope my brain thing goes away completely but I am miles away from where I was. I can have caffeine now without issue but I do avoid it so I don’t charge my system. For awhile a soda or even decaf would cause a panic attack. I wish healing and recovery to everyone. The only way out is through and you will all walk through that window into endless recovery.

Hello! I’m currently tapering Lamotrigine. I know 10% taper is recommended but I’m extremely overwhelmed by how to do that with these pills. I’ve been on 200mg for 3 years. I tapered to 175 by cutting 200mg tablets and 150mg tablets and taking one in the morning and one in the evening. Did this because I worried it would hit me all at once since cutting them makes them IR. Did this for a week and then went to just the 150 pills, still splitting them since I believe that dosage is IR. I have 150 refills and no 200 refills so getting to that dosage was the first goal. Today is day 9 of 150mg, 75mg morning and 75mg night. I’ve noticed irritability, crying spells, noise and light sensitivity, headaches, restlessness/fidgeting, anxiety, nausea. All manageable except for yesterday and today have been awful. I have propranolol and hydroxyzine prescribed as needed so today decided to take hydroxyzine and it got rid of my anxiety, I felt very calm and collected but sleepy which is a problem. Curious if anyone has used these as bridge drugs? To help cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I also have been taking Vyvanse for a year, and stopped completely cold turkey for 2 weeks. Yesterday I did 150 lamotrigine and 30mg Vyvanse (40mg was my dose) and had an awful day, today I tried 150 lamotrigine and 20mg Vyvanse and not feeling great either… perhaps Vyvanse has to go but the brain fog, irritability, restlessness, from Lamotrigine withdrawal + untreated ADHD is awful!!! Looking into supplements for ADHD, I know supplements aren’t recommended here. I plan to stay at 150mg for the next few months as I’m starting a new job. Then my next goal is to get to 100 and stay there for 3-4 mo. Basically getting to normal prescription amounts for my holds. I’ve been wanting to taper for years. For the last 2 years I’ve been experiencing double vision and blurry vision. Even went through expensive and intense vision rehabilitation. Doctor insists it’s not possible that the Lamotrigine is contributing but I want to see for myself. I also have rapid heart rate and hair thinning. These symptoms have all improved but there could be other factors since I’m on week 3. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar 2, turns out it was ASD and ADHD, so I see no reason to continue Lamotrigine. Although I’ve considered just staying on it because this is hard and very little support… doctors don’t understand but I want to know what I’m like without it. Curious if anyone has any advice or thoughts! Am I completely insane with this approach?