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Hello! I have been around these different types of boards just as a 'viewer' and NEVER thought i'd join but this particular group seems to be the perfect type for me-highly researched, and wanting to take their own health back and into their own hands! My quick story: struggled with anxiety my whole life on and off. Especially health worrying and obsessing. This past summer it got really bad and I couldn't stop looking online about symptoms of this disease or that. Facebook didn't help. And by the end of this summer it snowballed into depression because I was just feeling hopeless and consumed with worry I stopped going to the gym and doing things that interested me (like cooking healthy foods, etc). Backtrack-for a YEAR my GP was trying to get me to go on lexapro or paxil and i kept saying 'no' - so he gave me xanax. So I was taking that (.25 mg) for about 6 months at night and it was keeping things at bay (until this summer). So I go and see at talk therapist, to talk about my 'health obsessions' and she mentions that Celexa would be the 'perfect' drug for me and she's seen people 'just like me' do great on it. So I start taking 10 mg I think end of Sept/beginning of October 2013..I was feeling OK on it but around the 4 week mark I started waking up in a complete panic, sweat and couldn't breathe. Then these panic attacks led to suicidal thoughts-I thought I was going crazy, I was not ME. So mid-october I go off of it cold turkey (only been on it about 6 weeks). Felt awful for a week, tried 5-HTP, Valerian Root..felt a little better but my therapist and those around me kept saying 'i needed something' and I had friends who had been on these meds and were 'feeling fabulous' So I thought maybe I just didn't find the right med. So I decided to see a psychiatrist this time. Beginning of November, I see a psych, does an hour evaluation, perscribes me effexor. Started at 37.5..5 days later, panic attack in the morning, a plan to kill myself. *NOTE* I NEVER HAD PANIC ATTACKS OR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS BEFORE THESE MEDS My Psych and Therapist tell me: 'you would've had these attacks anyway, nothing to do with the meds, up your dose' - so I up my dose and spend 4 days at a mental health clinic for 'anxiety and depression' - Then for the next month I upped my effexor dose to 150. For a couple weeks I felt agoraphobic and didn't want to leave my house. Turns out the effexor gave me really high BP so my dr has been weaning me off of this (which i'm happy about anyway because I don't want to be on this and i'm glad my BP is my 'excuse' for getting off of it) - so now i'm BACK on celexa, but this time 20 mg. I have NO panic attacks BUT I have horrendous nightmares. Once i'm done weaning off of effexor completely in the next week or so ( i'm going to split the 25mg in half and then i'm done doing this weekly). But my question is-do I stay on Celexa? Will Celexa actually 'retrain my brain' to be 'right?' (my friend's GP actually told her that). Or am I just prolonging the inevitable of relapsing and I should just go off of it now. I'm researching SAM-e. St. John's Wort. positives: my mood has improved on celexa, my anxiety is down to nothing, BUT I wake up exhausted from these dreams, i have diareah, (sorry if that's TMI), and my obsessions about health are just turning into obsessions about what these meds really do to your brain. I'm meditating now, reading about buddhism which is helping and I journal every night. THANK YOU if you read this-or even a little bit-is it me or is it the meds that caused these attacks? Am I going crazy? I kind of miss the 'old me' looking back that was a worried anxiety mess-because atleast i was ME. Hindsight's 20/20 I suppose. Wishing you all well. I look forward to making some friends and hearing from you guys.

Original topic title before shortening: Need help in reinstating a low maintenance dose of Lexapro after a “honeymoon period” or an unsuccessful taper Hello, Between 2000 and 2005, I took three different ADs in succession - Zoloft, fluoxetine, and then Paxil. I also took Xanax for a few months and then stopped almost abruptly when I started feeling better on AD. I did not quite feel Xanax withdrawal probably because the AD effect kicked in during this time. From 2006, I was switched to Lexapro 20 mg. It worked well for a several years but around 2015, I felt quite detached from the world and did not feel like myself. So I started looking for natural alternatives to ADs. I started fast taper with the help of St. John’s Wort, Niacin, and Vitamin D. It went quite well till 2.5 mg, but after that, I started feeling withdrawal symptoms which were quite intense. I increased the dose a little and tried to taper again but could not go beyond 2.5 mg. I do not remember my tapering schedule but it was relatively fast as compared to the recommendation of SA experts. I did not know about SA guidelines of 10% reduction at that time - I wish I knew earlier. Then I started seeing homeopaths who helped me with the remaining 2.5 mg taper. The remedies that helped were Acid Phos, Aurum Met, Kali Phos, and Avena Sativa. I started feeling really good and slowly got rid of the remaining 2.5 mg of Lexapro. I started feeling myself again and though that Lexapro was behind me. After about two months, I faced an unpleasant event which brought my anxiety and depression back with full force. It could be a delayed withdrawal after a “honeymoon period” as some people have described here. Now I have been trying to reinstate Lexapro but it is not going very well. I have gone back and forth between 2.5 mg and 1.25 mg but I have not been able to make myself stable again. During this acute phase, homeopathic remedies only helped a little like Kali Phos but I guess these remedies don’t work well in a stormy situation. I am occasionally also taking Xanax 0.25 mg once or twice a day in an effort to get Lexapro settle back into my system. But I am feeling very bad. I have sleep anxiety. I wake up tired and restless. I sometimes wake up half an hour after falling asleep. I can’t sleep in the dark. I feel lethargic and devoid of energy. I now feel anxious about future like never before. Past events sometimes comes into my mind very vividly which increases my anxiety and heart beat. In such moments, I have to get out of the house and go for a drive or walk. Now, every time I take Lexapro whether 2.5 mg or 1.25 mg, I feel uncomfortable pressure or constriction on my chest usually after about one hour which usually goes away in a few hours. This happens even at this relatively low dose. I read somewhere that Lexapro messes with the electrical signals of the heart. So taking Lexapro makes me sick but not taking it makes me even sicker. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. My current life situation is not such that I feel that I can completely get off of Lexapro at the moment, but I want to settle on a low maintenance dose so that I can feel a bit more stable. My homeopath has now prescribed Ignatia Amara for palliative purpose but it is not quite helping at the moment. I know that if I go to a psychiatrist at this point, he/she would switch me to a different AD along with a cocktail of other drugs, which of course I do not want. I would appreciate any help in trying to achieve a low maintenance dose of Lexapro using the help of natural remedies. Thanks a lot.