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  1. hi, Alto I went to a local pharmacy and they helped me to compound 2.5mg pill into 2.mg. but they changed it into a capsul form. would that make a difference. now my son is taking 2.5 pill and 2capsule. what you think. the pharmacist said it is fine.
  2. I am posting this on behalf of my husband who is quite unwell. I am in a very vunerable place watching my husband deteriorate so please be kind. We are in our 60's and have never experienced anything like this. My husband was administered antidepressants for depression over 30 years ago and has remained on antidepressants all this time. I cannot recall what they started him on but maybe 8 years ago he was moved to Effexor XR 75mg. When it was increased to 150mg - we noticed a lack of feeling and low libido. We discussed the idea of coming off the Effexor XR and did this with the aid of high quality supplements - tapering by reducing the beads over a year. There were horrible side effects - nausea, high anxiety and then the concentration started to be impacted. After six months of being off the Effexor XR he deteriorated very quickly to the point where he became Psychotic and he couldn't get his brain to think how to get himself into the shower. It was like his brain had frozen. He kept saying I am losing it! Unfortunately he was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward where they administered 10mg Olanzepine and 75mg Effexor XR then increased it up to 150mg. He was released after three weeks. He was on Olazepine for about three months and the Psychiatrist reduced him off that. Because he is still not stable the Psychiatrist was not sure whether to increase or reduce his medication. He has gone for the latter and we are administering 112mg every other day at around 10am this is our 3rd day (eg 150mg one day 112mg the next and so on). I am monitoring him closely and notice that he is so much more responsive in the morning and quite normal, although says he feels really tired. His memory and concentration has been affected. He has blurred vision. After his medication is given I notice he begins pacing, not as responsive to talking and becomes quite anxious. The Psychiatrist says he has had a relapse and has major depression. I don't know who to believe anymore but I just want my husband well again. Please help?
  3. Hey, my name is Cameron. It has now been two weeks since I stopped taking olanzapine after a 7 month course of 10 mg, with the last 9 weeks tapering down 2.5mg every three weeks. I'm now off the drugs, and am still experiencing the effects of emotional flatness, complete apathy, reduced creativity, reduced capacity to think, remember, and imagine things, complete loss of libido, and loss of interest in activities formerly enjoyed. I feel like my personality has been absolutely destroyed, and I'm just outraged at the fact that this was done with absolutely no informed consent on my part. It's just hideously immoral and I've been made to feel completely and utterly dead inside. I find myself regularly considering euthanasia because the effects as they currently stand are unbearable and I have no tangible experience that makes me want to live (granted, this would only be something I'd consider taking action on after having given it at least a year of time). Are there any chances that I will recover from this and get my brain function back? I feel like I'm in an extremely bleak situation.
  4. Hello everyone, my name is Nicholas and I'm a 21 years old guy from Italy. I suffered from chronic insomnia from the age of 15 and in mid-February 2017 was prescribed before bedtime the antidepressant mirtazapine at 15 mg and the antipsychotic olanzapine at 2,5 mg. I took them for 2 weeks without improvement. Therefore the psychiatrist increased mirtazapine at 30 mg and olanzapine at 10 mg. Now I believe that he thought I had bipolar disorder type 1 but I hadn’t any mental illnes. I took olanzapine at 10 mg because I think was only a tranquilizer and because I trusted the doctor. Olanzapine made me sleep for 13 hours but I was no longer myself. After 5 days I tried to split the tablet but it gave me a strange effect. So I continued for others 15 days at 10 mg because I really needed to sleep. Then in April 2017 I tapered olanzapine in 1 week because I could not live anymore like that. I took it for a total of 48 days. After this I reduced mirtazapine to 15 mg and 1 week later I stop cold turkey. At that time I took the benzodiazepine brotizolam at 0,25 mg for 2 weeks to help me sleep. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible for 4 months and I have not been the same anymore. When I was on mirtazapine and olanzapine I had eyelids fasciculation 2 or 3 times per day. When I quitted olanzapine the eyelids fasciculation ceased. 2 weeks after withdrawal from olanzapine and 1 week from mirtazapine I started to have frequently intermittent muscle twitching in the left thigh and occasionaly pulsating muscles in other parts of the body. After less than a couple of months they have decreased in frequency and intensity but didn’t stop completely. During this period I was forced to take the antidepressant sertraline and the benzodiazepine diazepam because for the new psychiatrist I had obsessive compulsive disorder with an obsession for the damage of antipsychotics. I did not have anything like that and could taper and withdraw after 3 months in July 2017. Now I think maybe that the muscles twitching have diminished because diazepam is also a muscle relaxant. In August 2017 I started to have continuous fasciculations in the legs when I lie down and less frequently when I sit while I never had them when I move. Few times a day I had pulsating muscles also in the arms and the trunc but never in the face. I never had muscle twitches in multiple parts of the body at the same time. In September the muscles twitching moved for 1 week in the lower abdominals. In October 2017 for 2 weeks the muscles twitches suddenly stopped in the legs and continued in the rest of the body about 10 times per day. When the muscles twitching returned they were milder. Sometimes the fasciculations are so mild that when I looked at my calf I saw them without feel them. In the legs they have become more single rapid muscular contractions than pulsating muscles. Soon after I started to have continuos pulsating muscle in my upper lip. The muscle twitch was very mild and lasted 2 weeks but after it I have sometimes pulsating muscle also in my face. Do you think it is a tardive dyskinesia caused by olanzapine despite I haven’t involuntary body movements? Do you think it could be some other side effect caused by olanzapine or maybe mirtazapine? It’s 8 months that I’ve it. I have been visited by several psychiatrists and neurologists and everyone said it was just stress. Even if I do not have the symptoms of tardive dyskinesia I do not know what else it could be: I’m not stressed and I do not suffer from anxiety, I do not take stimulants, I can sleep, I have had blood tests and I haven’t electrolyte imbalances or hypoglycemia, I did electromyography and had normal results. The thing that worries me most is that there is a very large amount of medical literature that associates tardive dyskinesia with cognitive impairments. If it were to be tardive dyskinesia do you think that the fact that for almost 2 weeks the muscles twitches had almost disappeared means that I am healing? Thank you and greetings from Italy.
  5. Spideygsm

    Spideygsm off zyprexa

    I'm brand new to this forum. I'm not real social so I generally only read and don't write. However, I feel the topic of letting people now that it is possible to get completely off Zyprexa (olanzapine) is so important that I had to share. I'm bipolar with an extreme depression and an anxiety disorder. I was put on 5 mg of Zyprexa in 2003 when I went through a very bad down cycle. Since 2003, my body kept building up a tolerance to the Zyprexa so my Doctors kept raising the dose all the way up to 30 mg/day starting in 2015. That's when I really starting having bad side effects such as high blood sugar, high liver panels, high cholesterol, testical issues, a 25 lbs weight gain, and my right breast started drooping. My family has a zero history for any of these things. I don't eat any junk food, very little meat, I swim 1 plus miles 5 days each week, and I have kept the my weight off (I'm 6'-2" and currently weigh 180 lbs, don't smoke). In November 2017 my Doctor said I needed to quit taking Zyprexa. She wasn't the Doctor who put me on the drug and told me all along she wasn't a fan of it but since it worked, keep using it. My Doctor initially said to taper by 25% every 10 days. I did some online research and told her I would rather start at a 10% reduction and see how it went. When I did my first reduction, within 2 days I was having just about every withdrawal symptom you've read about. The worst were the headaches, insomnia, anxiety, high pulse, twitching, zero energy, and sweats. People are always going to say that a 10% reduction was too much of a taper. In my convoluted mind, I thought, why prolong this agony. I went ahead and dropped by by 25% every 10 days. My last dose of Zyprexa was 11 weeks ago today. At week 4 my symptoms got even worse. My doctor gave me Ambien for sleep and Valium for the anxiety. Neither did a thing so I stopped. I had to withdraw from Klonipin in 2003 and know how tough Benzo's are to stop taking. I even swore back then I'd never take another Benzo. However, the Zyprexa withdrawals were so bad I was willing to try anything. One thing that I did notice right from the start is that on days when I swam, I always felt better after the swim. The harder I swam, the better I felt. This is similar that Andy has been telling people. I'm not talking about a mild sweat lifting weights. I'm talking about a kick ass workout where I am completely worn out. This is something my Doctor also told me. After stopping Pshyc meds, your brain has to readjust. One way of getting the brain to adjust quicker is to do something natural that releases the endorphins. At week 8 my doctor put me on Trazodone for sleep (little help, 2-3 hours instead of 0-2 hours). I still take 150 mg Trazodone each night (Trazodone isn't a permanent answer either. My Doctor told me 150 mg is a low dose and easy to stop. She used to prescibe up to 1000 mg when Trazondone was used as an antidrpessant). At week 9 I started taking 20 mg of pure CBD oil each night. I don't know if it's the CBD oil, a placebo effect, or I'm getting better with regards to sleep but I'm getting 2-3 nights each week of 6-7 hours of sleep. On the other nights I'm getting 3-4 hours sleep. This is something I can easily deal with. At week 9 is when I noticed a significant improvement. I went 2 days without any symptoms other than feeling tired and zero energy, and having insomnia. Then I had 2 bad days and since that, I've had no other symptoms other than a tired feeling, zero energy and I'd say moderate insomnia (tolerable compared to how I was feeling). The tiredness could be the sleep hangover from the Trazodone. I see my Doctor next week. I'm probably gonna start cutting back on the Trazodone and see how things go. I would say I'm a success story. I still take 150 mg Wellbutrin SR for depression (down from 450 mg), 1800 mg Gabapentin for anxiety and back pain, and the 150 mg of Trazodone for sleep. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop taking all medicines because of my mental health illness. I have to be a realist. By the way, my Doctor gave me a prescription for Abilify which I HAVE NOT taken. I'm gonna see how things go before I ever take another antipsychotic again. If I tried to put a number on how I feel, I'd say I'm at 75%. I've never felt completely normal in my life, but I'm definitely feeling A LOT better. Zyprexa does have it's place. It saved me from a very dark time when I tried to kill myself 2 times. It also helped with other issues. However, I wish the Doctor's at the Mental Hospital told me about all of the dangerous side effects, the drugs addiction, and the pure hell it is to stop taking Zyprexa. I'm not 100% better. The insomnia is miserable (I'm not gonna lie), I still feel tired with zero energy. However, all of the other symptoms are gone, my blood work is well below normal, and my physical symptoms (******** problem, saggy right breast) have pretty much resolved themselves. Is this a coincidence? I don't think so. If you do internet research, all of these are side effects from Zyprexa. I can testify that everything Andy has told people is correct. Exercise helps the most. CBD oil has helped (I'll keep taking it if it keeps helping, otherwise I'll stop). I don't know about the diet because I've always eaten pretty healthy. I want to tell people it's not a pleasant experience to go through. It's taken about 6 months from the time I started my taper to where I am now (11 weeks Zyprexa free). It really is mind over matter. When you're going through the withdrawal, it feels like the misery is never going to end. I always thought forward. Things may get better tomorrow and then one day, it unexpectedly did. My recommendation is this. Exercise hard, don't take any Benzos (you're trading one difficult addiction for another and they did zero for me), don't take a real sleeping pill like Amien (another very addicting drug that didn't help), and exactly what Andy said, don't use the internet. People only write about their misery getting off Zyprexa. Reading these stories will only make you feel worse. There are probably more success stories out there that you don't get to read because I think these people don't post their stories. I think the majority of people who post are miserable being at the beginning or in the middle of the withdrawal and don't see a positive outcome. As an example, if you read the horror stories about getting off Zyprexa, most people who post these stories are either beginning the taper, or a few weeks or month since the last dose. I've only read a few posts where somebody shares their story and is a few months off their last dose and all of these stories have been positive. That's why it's dangerous to read the misery stories. I think that it can make things worse because you can get a feeling of panic or anxiety about how bad it's going to be. It's not easy. It will definitely get better. Andy outlined his story perfectly and I've tried to do the same. I've told everybody what worked for me and what didn't. Everybody's timeline is going to be different. I took a very high dose for a very long time. Just hang in there and look forward to the day when you'll start to feel better. Good luck to all. Hang in there. It really does take willpower and a strong mind. Kudos to Andy for sharing his story. I'm not trying to hijack what he's shared. Only let people know I've had a similar experience.
  6. Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy
  7. Hello. I pray you are all doing well. I have recently been lurking on this website, looking for other people with a similiar experience as to mine. I am asking for help and advice in regards to my brothers recent situation. My brother had been sectioned in the beginning of this year. He came home one day and was acting different. I later realised that these were delusions. He was unwell for a week and had gotten better for a week then the following week he became unwell again but this time he was quite aggressive. He would get angry easily. He was very emotional and would get really upset sometimes over a small thing or easily irritated. I guess you could describe him as being manic at this time. He also said his heart would start beating fast randomly and he felt like he was having a panic attack. My family decided he needed to go to the hospital as he was very much out of control. He went to the hospital and was alright there but he kept walking and wouldn't sit still, he would do this at home as well, always doing some sort of exercise. He got upset at the hospital and broke the fire alarm and the doctor had called the police on him. He got arrested, stayed in the cell overnight and the next day they decided to section him under the mental health act. He was put on 10mg of Olanzapine at first, then he was switched to risperidone 0.5 after 2 or 3 days. With 5mg Olanzapine and up to 2 mg of Lorazepam a day as PRN. Even though it was PRN the staff said that he needed PRN everyday. He was put into seclusion a couple of times, it was horrible for the whole family, we just wanted some help, not for him to be snatched from us. We finally were able to get him home after 28 days. We were given 6mg of risperidone, PRN and procycldine as his medication because his hands were shaking. At home he was good although I noticed that during the day he would get a bit hyper, say he doesn't feel good. I would then give him the lorazepam and he would calm down. The nurse would visit us at home and she told me to stop using the Lorazepam and give him Olanzapine instead, if he needed it. So thats what I started doing, big mistake. As soon as I stopped the Lorazepam he became unwell, kept walking around, felt agitated, a lot of anxiety. I then used Olanzapine to calm him down. he would get like this a lot and I realised that its akathisia. I think from the risperidone. He would come upstairs at night saying he cant sleep and he needed something to help him. I thought that this was withdrawals from the Lorazepam or Olanzapine that was given to him in hospital as PRN. I then called the doctor and he said lorazepam has been out of his body for two weeks so it must be his illness returning, he told me to put his risperidone up to 7mg. I tryed doing that for 3 days but it made him feel worse. I put him back on 6mg. I told the doctor that I wanted to switch from Risperidone to Olanzapine because it wasnt helping and he would feel restless half an hour after taking it. The doctor told me to put him on Olanzapine 5mg and to reduce his risperidone by 2mg every 4 days. I got him down to 3mg of risperidone at this time. It was then that I found this site and saw the 10% taper method and I realised that I cant just cut off his Risperidone as he had been on it for 6 weeks already. I have now got him on 2.25mg of Risperidone from yesterday but the problem is that he has also been on 3.75mg Olanzapine for a month since coming home. He is already been complaing about being stiff and he sleeps 14 hours a day and has gone quiet, he stopped making conversations and rarely laughs like he used to, since being on Olanzapine. I also suspect that he may have Seretonin Syndrome or toxication from the risperidone because he displays symptoms when i up the dose of the medication. Hypomania, restlessness and agitation. I dont know what to do, I want to get him off Risperidone as it makes him agitated, his muscles twitch, his hands used to tremor and gives him akathisia unless he has a benzo. But I also want to get him off the Olanzapine because he gets really tired during the day has stopped talking to my dad, they are so close, and I dont want him to lose his emotions forever. He cant stay on two antipsychotics. The side affects outweight the benefits. Should i ask the doctor for a benzo or something to help the akathisia. Should I also taper the Olanzapine at the same time? How much percent can I taper his medication by and how often, can I taper 10% Risperidone and 10% Olanzapine? Can i taper more often than every month? Thanks so much, if you managed to read all of this.
  8. Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.
  9. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  10. Evoldnahturt

    Evoldnahturt

    The relevant facts of my life: - I've had trouble sleeping all of my life, I'm usually sleep deprived. - I'm anxious off and on, usually on. Often times the anxiety gets bad. I've been like this for at least 15 years. Probably, at least to some extent, most of my life - I believe I may have been depressed most of my childhood. It got bad in my late teens and has improved, but remained. - My diet has been terrible all my life. No fruits or veggies. Just processed junk. - I was put on Ritalin when I was a kid and took it for many years. It caused me to develop ticks that have gotten better, but pop up sometimes, especially when I'm stressed. - I became suicidal in my late teens and was put on a lot of different medications. None of them worked and I didn't stay on them long. - I took between 2.5mg to 5mg (because I was too lazy to cut the pill in half at times) of Zyprexa for about 14 years starting when I was around 19. - I took Prozac for many years starting at around age 19 and quit CT with no problems several years ago. - I used alcohol off and on over the years. I quit for a long while before it quit getting me high. I noticed that it started working again after I quit Prozac. I started drinking again heavily for a few months, and then once or twice a week off and on after that. - On rare occasion I would pick up a small batch of pain pills. I usually used 5mg-10mg of Hydrocodone, but a couple of times I went overboard. - I used other miscellaneous pills on rare occasion in my late teens. - I smoked marijuana daily for many years and slowed down to a few times a month over the past few years, near the end it was usually just when I was out in nature. I recently quit smoking completely. I don't believe it was causing problems, but I've decided it's not worth the risk. - I was bulimic for over a decade and quit over a year ago. Summary of my withdrawal: 1.25mg weighs 47.5mgpw (mgpw = milligrams pill weight) when weighed on a scale (I use a GEMINI-20). I dropped to 47.5mgpw (1.25mg, quarter of a pill) for somewhere between a few months up to a year. I started quickly tapering sometime around or soon after September 2015. At first I was able to cut my dosage quickly, but things got rough at times and I ending up having to jump back up almost to where I was before I started reducing my dosage. I kept lowering my dosage, often getting to zero, and then raising it again when things got too difficult. I did this for about five months. My first symptoms were pressure in my head, a loss of feeling throughout my body, and fear. Sometimes, I believe, the fear was caused by the other side-effects. However, sometimes I experienced the sensation of fear out of nowhere without being afraid of anything. I usually would then become afraid of the sensation of fear getting worse. In retrospect, I believe these and other effects were triggered or worsened by my taking (at different times) Xanax, Omeprazol, Hydrocodone, and alcohol during Zyprexa withdrawal. It quickly became clear that alcohol was causing me to become fearful, because the effect was immediate. I haven't used alcohol directly since near the beginning of this process. I did, however, use it in the form of Zzzquill, which caused hypnic jerks with the sensation of fear while drifting off to sleep all night. I ended up realizing that Xanax was also causing problem, after using it throughout most of my withdrawal. I later tested using Hydrocodone to see if I could at least handle pain meds. It caused me to feel the sensation of fear while falling asleep that night. Things got really difficult the days leading up to 2-14-16. One of my step-brothers drove me to my mother's where I stayed for a week and a half. I ended up increasing my dose to 142mgpw (3.75mg, 3/4 of a pill). While I was at my mom's, I saw her doctor to get some lab-work done as well as a neurologist. The neurologist did an MRI scan of my brain. A benign lesion was found, but nothing else. The lab-work all looked fine except for the fact that my good cholesterol was low. My mother has been very supportive, but my family has had a hard time believing that these issues were caused by the medication, which baffles me, but I'm very grateful that they're supportive. I've been surprised by how unsupportive many families can be. I have reduced my dosage by 10% a month (calculated from the previous month's dosage) since then. I held for two months initially. My symptoms quickly got better at first and have slowly continued to improve. I can't tell if they're still improving or not. I'm holding at my current dosage for at least another month next month, probably longer. I was initially eager to get my dosage down, I now realize that I should probably slow down to be safe. I'm currently at 104mgpw. I've decided to avoid all other medications for as long as possible. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if something happens where I need medication. I'm also not sure how long I want this taper to last. Stories like Mapleleafgirl's (4 year taper, got very sick 20 months after the taper) make me want to take longer than my body tells me to, like six or eight years. I'm very grateful that I'm doing as well as I am and that reinstating Zyprexa has made things much better, but I got past my breaking point in just a few months with much less severe issues than what many of you are dealing with. I don't understand how you can take it. I have a stronger will to live after going through this, but not strong enough to suffer like that for years. I would have to kill myself and I can't stand the thought of doing that to my mom while she's still alive. The stories on here, what's happened to me, and the fact that I'm still not fully healed after four months of taking a larger dose really scares me. I'm a lot better and what's persisted is manageable, but I figured I would have healed by now. I promise that however this turns out, I'll provide you guys with updates over the years. Symptoms I've experienced: - Pressure in head - Burning sensation throughout my body, especially in my thighs and legs - Arm, leg, upper body, finger, or hand jolts (especially when falling asleep) (Hypnic jerk?), I've had this, to some extent, for many years, but it got worse during withdrawal - Tingling, numbness - Pins and needles (especially when falling asleep) - Knots and frequent noise in stomach - Extreme difficulty swallowing food (briefly before I increased to 142mgpw) - Irregular heart beats - A very hard heart pump that makes me tense up (not as frequent now) - Ringing in an ear (not very often these days) - Pressure in an ear - Tachycardia, especially when getting sleepy, falling asleep, and twice while asleep (woke me up) - Blurred vision when waking up as well as dizziness (this persisted throughout the process of weaning off of Zyprexa, it stopped when I increased to 142.5mgpw (3.75mg)) - Burred vision and dizziness outside of waking up in the morning, this wasn't very frequent - Muscles twitching, like after a workout, but more frequent - Akathisia - Insomnia, I've always been an insomniac, but it got much worse in the beginning and then got back to normal early-in - My mind has been slipping. I'll say things that don't make sense. I'll say I'm hot when I'm cold. I take a long time to come up with a response. This has been the case for years - Other things that I couldn't describe. I've found that if I can't describe something, I forget about what it was like eventually.
  11. Hi, I have a long history (18 years) of psych drug usage and have been on antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilisers. I recently (1 month ago) started Zyprexa again because I had a crisis, and this time it didn't really work as well as it had in the past. I took 10mg and I passed out and felt awful and later was admitted to a private hospital, where various other drugs were added. I am now on 2.5mg Zyprexa and would like to get off it because I am pre-diabetic. Given that I have only been on it for a month, is a 25% reduction per week ok? I have withdrawn off it before and I am petrified. I feel in general that my mental health has declined quite a bit this year, so I am not sure if I could handle the withdrawal. Having said that though, going off it gives me hope that I will feel better and have my cognition back. Is this a realistic expectation? Zyprexa withdrawal is very rough. And unfortunately Zyprexa has affected my memory quite a bit. I am quite confused too at the moment, because I have seen too many shrinks and they all have different diagnosis and views for me. My shrink of 18 years pretty much gave up on me recently because I discharged against his advice from a private hospital where he consulted. I only did this because he wanted to start me on Abilify to replace the Zyprexa and after one dose, I had horrible side effects which he didn't believe. My life is in a complete mess at the moment and I am very sad at what psych drugs have done to me :__( Thanks Rico
  12. Hello! Am like a sitting duck here okay. Am almost 2 years off of olanzapine and quality of life has improved latley. Howerer the pollen is at its extreme right now and am having big time issues. Olanzapine is a strong antihistamine which acts on H1. Antihistamine for pollen allergies acts on H1. Can one take small doses of antihistamine (desloratadine) if its the one that doesnt cross the blood barrier to the CNS(?) Very much appreciated.
  13. Hello everyone. Took Olanzapine for 3 years at pretty high doses, way way to high and probably under wrong circumstanses. Am now soon 2 years off of olanzapine ct(jump from 2.5mg). I have used Imovane occasionally but pretty frequently during the first 6 months period around 2015 at the same time olanzapine was introduced. Theralene under same frame time. While on olanzapine I drink pretty much everyday and took other nonprescripted drugs, which is so not me.. I dont know who I was back then... and few other things I cant mention here. It has been a disaster and am nowhere near healed but am definitely getting there. 2016 June 15th was the last pill but ofcourse I found this site 1 months after my jump and all I can say is it was a mistake to CT. This is now my introduction about myself and actually am looking forward to interact with you guys, since this personal experience is far to isolating!
  14. Hello, I have started taking 10 mg paxil in the morning and 2.5 mg rexapin (generic for zyprexa) at night after bankruptcy followed by a break up. I have used paxil for 4.5 months and stopped along with rexapin ( fast taper for paxil and cold turkey rexapin). I had terrible anxiety. It was so bad that i was shaking inside all the time. I have survived for a month and than after talking to my dr i started takinng olanzapine at 5,5 months mark. I immediately started to feel better, now its been a little more than a month on only olanzapine. Last week i started tapering after consulting with my dr who is not a fan of drugs(wants me off this drugs asap) but fast tapering is his favourite i guess. He recomended 3/4 dose for a week , 1/2 for a week and 1/4 for a week and than stop. I started taking 3/4 dose for 4 days now, mentally i am not so bad but i started to feel really tired that i can not leave my bed. Is this a common withdrawl symptom ? BR Gonzi
  15. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  16. Around sept 2012 I stopped taking Zyprexa 15 mg cold turkey. I did it because I gained 30 pounds in around 4 months. When I quit Zyprexa, I started with a lot of crying, anxiety, panic attacks, lack of appetite and insomnia. I did not sleep for three days in a row and then I slept for about three days, after that I never ever slept again naturally. I am never sleepy, never tired, never hungry (the other symptoms disappeared). I am always wide awake even after sleeping 2 -3 hours a day and some days just 1 hour. I have tried geodon, trazodon, clonopin and other medicines that I can't remember now, nothing helps, some of those meds helped me sleep some hours and then stopped working. Gabapentin was the only medication that made me sleep around 5 - 6 hours . I started with 600 mg, but after some months on that dosis, it stopped working. Now they put me on 1200 mg of gabapentin, but I have not noticed any improvement, I am only sleeping 2 -3 hours (very irregular). The only change on all these months is that now I am not dreaming so much as the beginning of the nightmare, I am having more hours of deep sleep. In 2012 I was feeling so bad and I was so ignorant about psychotropic drugs that I trusted my doctors when they told me that my insomnia and all the symptoms were for the chemical imbalance and not Zyprexa related. I took the new medications (lamictal and geodon) without complaining After two years of this nightmare I have read a lot looking for answers, help, support and a cure for my insomnia. I have found a lot of people describing the same thing, going through the same nightmare. I have not found a logical explanation or a cure. Some people have started sleeping better without help of any medication after some months, some after 22 months, there are other that have been like this for 6 years already. Some have been put back on very low dosis of Zyprexa (for some this worked, for others it didn't). My plan is: zero coffee or chocolate, a balanced diet, I try to eat turkey, bananas, do exercises. I always go to bed at the same time and take the gabapentin at the same time. I try not to use the computer or electronic 2 -3 hours before bed time. I take a warm bath before going to bed, read a book, drink warm milk. I read in other forums that a scientist at Harvard found that there is still Zyprexa binded to receptors after 6 months that the person has stopped taking it. Maybe I just need more time, my brain need time to heal and recover. Could be possible that Zyprexa permanent damage my brain? Could be possible that the anxiety and stress response went haywire on my body? Why I am never sleepy or hungry? sorry for my English skills, English is not my first language
  17. hello there. i registered here to search for help for symptoms that are bothering me and that came after 15mg of olanzapine for 7-8 months. generally, i've been taking olanzapine for like a year or something, i started with a 5mg dose at 2015, after some time they upped it to 10mg, and then i've had a full-blown psychotic episode and i began taking 15mg. i was hospitalized and there they gave me high doses of 5 different medications. when i came back home, things just weren't the same. okay, that didn't bother me, i was still thinking that it's only a phase. then, month after month, i realized that that "phase" is actually... something deeper, different. so i searched about it on the internet; and saw that "antipsychotics destroy brain". i stopped taking olanzapine cold turkey, which was DEFINITELY a very bad idea. at first, i was very depressed, i don't know if it lasted long enough to be called a major depressive episode, but it was severe. i was full of guilt... but, the worst of it all - i couldn't feel a damn thing. i couldn't enjoy a damn thing. i was on a winter holiday and i'm a skier, but i didn't feel anything while i was skiing. yes, i could leave a bed, but i was doing it only because i felt like the world around me would judge me and criticize me if i didn't. people are supposed to feel happy, free when they're skiing, even scared. i didn't feel anything. i realized that i stopped caring about everything, so, you could tell me a good thing - i would feel nothing (sometimes it was even hard to fake a smile, because it was even hard to move my face). you could tell me a bad thing - i would feel nothing. i had a fear of being criticized, but now, that faded too. but that's okay, to be honest, it's much easier to live without the guilt and at the same time energy to do anything about the guilt you're feeling. and i wanted to feel things. i wanted, and not only wanted, but i still want to feel things. deeply. so i started faking reactions to things... i was like - okay, imagine you're a normal person who didn't go through this kind of situation. how would a normal, rational person react ? and then i reacted that way. i still do that tho, it became some kind of a habit. my concentration is very bad. my will is very bad. i have anhedonia and apathy. my cognitive abilities are awful. but i just can't seem to care. and you know, sometimes you feel bad for not caring about things. i don't even feel bad about not caring, i just don't feel a damn thing. i had a period where i was doing better and was motivated to recover. i still want to recover, but i feel like nothing makes sense and i don't know how to get out of this nonsense. if any of you found sense, can you please tell me how ? i know it's an extremely hard and long process, but i somehow believe that it's possible. WHY ? i went to the neurologist and spent a lot of money on some neurological tests, for example magnetic resonance imaging of the brain. guess what ? IT'S NOT THE BRAIN. IT'S PSYCHE. mind. mental. !!!!!!!!!!!! at least for me. tests can't and don't lie. i believe in those tests, even tho i have all the symptoms of brain damage, i surely don't have a brain damage because i have an evidence. the tests have shown that my brain is perfectly healthy, despite my mental disorder. i don't know about you, but i can recommend checking yourself just to be sure, it can ease the pain, even if you do have a brain damage or if you don't. if you don't have enough money, there are local hospitals where you can check yourself. so that's why i accepted medications and i'm currently using 10mg of escitalopram and i started few days ago aripiprazole 5mg. i'm willing to try things. i just feel so brain-foggy and that's stopping me from doing anything. and now, i'll go and search the forum for some advices from you guys, i will write here again. thanks if you read this. ...and yeah, sorry for a really bad post, i'm not so well right now. i'm glad that i became the part of this community, the feeling that i'm not alone makes me feel better. and it's hell.
  18. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  19. Hi there, I am hoping to be able to leverage the wisdom of this community to shed some light into my personal situation and help decide possible courses of action. The only people I can speak to in real life about this are my well-meaning family/friends (who think Doctors have all the answers) and my psychiatrist/doctor/psychologist who only respond with medication-related suggestions. Up until this point I have been relatively ill-informed of the pitfalls of withdrawing from psychiatric drugs and I’ve clearly made some big errors along the way. However, my goal (like many I’m sure) is to be drug-free but of course this isn’t something my psychiatrist supports. I am sorry in advance this is such an essay. [And apologies for all bold - my javascript bold function is broken!] About me: I’m a 30 year old British female living in Amsterdam, with a full-time job in Marketing. Where it all began: Just over 5 years ago, at age 25, I experienced a very intense mania with extreme psychosis and was hospitalised. The psychosis was triggered by a melange of stress, diet, lack of sleep and smoking a joint (which I used to do regularly in my teens and 20s with no ill-effects). In the psychiatric ward I was given Olanzapine at 7.5mg dose and gradually over a few weeks, the psychotic symptoms disappeared, and I was discharged. My doctor gave me the loose diagnosis as either Schizophrenia or Bipolar I, but was leaning towards Bipolar--so that’s what I’ve stuck with (but to be honest I’m not sure if it’s correct). After my discharge, I reduced the Olanzapine from 7mg to 5mg and then to 2.5mg over the next few months, and stopped taking Olanzapine completely since the side effects of weight gain and libido loss were not tolerable (with my Doctor’s blessing). For a few months, all was well, until I started getting insomnia, characterised by heart palpitations, feeling of mini panic attacks when trying to fall asleep (and therefore not being able to drift to sleep), and very poor quality sleep when I did manage to sleep. My psych recommended I try taking Seroquel instead, and started me off on 700mg per night. The (Good) Seroquel Years Over the next 4 years, I led a perfectly normal and healthy life--even moved to a new country and changed my job--taking Seroquel with minimal side effects. I managed to reduce the Seroquel from 700mg down to 100mg over 2-3 years, and was feeling better and better the lower the dose (with much less sedation and grogginess the lower the dose). I also switched to a vegan diet & cut down on booze and partying in this time which also helped a lot! Finally, I went from 100mg to 50mg around May 2017, and still felt no adverse affects (only positive improvements). My only concern was the niggling fear that I had become dependent on the Seroquel for sleep. The Disruption - coming off Seroquel cold turkey and switching to Olanzapine In August 2017, completely out of the blue, I suddenly stopped being able to sleep. What then followed was a few months of terrible broken sleep and heavy reliance on Zopiclone (alternating nights) to be able to keep up appearances at work, do my job and maintain normality. My therapist at the time suggested I increase the dose of Seroquel to counter the insomnia, so in October, I moved back up to 100mg Seroquel (occasionally 150mg). This worked a treat for the insomnia, however I suddenly started experiencing very regular involuntary muscle movements (more than a twitch, less than a jerk, around 2x per minute in all different areas of my body), and became very worried this was Tardive Dyskinesia. My Doctor (I didn’t have a psychiatrist at this point) told me I should stop the Seroquel immediately, since this was a serious side effect. I quickly got referred to a psychiatrist, who put me on Olanzapine 5mg instead. The twitching stopped, the sleep was fine, but I hated being on Olanzapine (heavily sedated/low mood/very withdrawn/binge eating/weight gain etc.). Recent struggles with Olanzapine After 2 months on 5mg Olanzapine and its shi*tty side effects, I halved the dose to 2.5mg and stayed on that for 6 weeks with no WD, but annoyingly only a very light reduction in the side effects. Complaining to my psychiatrist, she suggested I try the antipsychotic Abilify (10mg) instead, and told me to switch directly (a hard stop of Olanzapine!). Abilify does not block histamine receptor like Olanzapine and Seroquel, and it did nothing for my insomnia. My sleep started to deteriorate the second I stopped taking Olanzapine, and as soon as it was fully out of my system my insomnia returned with a vengeance - I was not able to sleep without Zopiclone, and even with Zopiclone I would only get 4 hours sleep then get woken up by loud, piercing tinnitus and moderate anxiety. I managed to live like this for only 10 nights, some nights getting no sleep at all, other nights getting less than 4 hours with Zopiclone. Annoyingly all the Olanzapine side effects stopped and I felt great, except for the crippling insomnia which stopped me functioning. I gave in and reluctantly switched back to Olanzapine, which almost brings us to the present moment. Where I'm at Today Ever since going back on the Olanzapine (2.5mg), my sleep problems haven’t really gone away: I can get off to sleep fine, but keep getting woken up by the piercing tinnitus and ‘high energy’ around 4am; often I can’t get back to sleep. I’ve tried increasing the Olanzapine back up to 5mg and that isn’t helping much. Before anyone goes there, my sleep hygeine is pretty good. I've also stopped drinking alcohol completely and have a regular bedtime of 10pm. Now I am starting to panic that not even Olanzapine can help me live a normal life. I am plagued by the fear that I am dependent on Olanzapine to get any sleep and that beneath it lies an incurable insomnia. Regardless, I cannot fathom living my life long-term on Olanzapine and I need an escape plan to give me hope (even if I’m not ready to come off it yet). Where I could use some guidance: >> I am not sure if a lot of what I am experiencing with regards to the insomnia is related to withdrawal, even though I am still on the Olanzapine - is that possible? OR is it more likely that my insomnia is the beginnings of psychosis/schizophrenia and therefore I need antipsychotics to not be psychotic. >> Clearly, I’ve messed up my system somehow with all the medication switching and dose changes (none of the reductions have been that gradual). Is there a good strategy to get me back on track? >> Has anyone had any luck with undergoing biochemical nutrient therapy to help support their taper? This is something I'm looking into. >> (Not really a question) I just find the prospect of tapering and inevitably re-living through insomnia for a sustained period of time incredibly impossible, especially with a full-time job. I just don’t know how anyone does it... I can barely last a week - and I also have the threat of having another psychosis &hospitalisation being induced by insomnia. I realise my situation is not that extreme at the moment, but I am already losing hope and am in a pretty dark place with depressive thoughts about my prospects. I am not sure how I will manage mentally and physically if things get worse (which I suspect they inevitably will). Thank you in advance for reading this far.
  20. Tomash

    Tomash

    My psychological issues started in high school - I experimented with halucinogens, for a higher knowledge. However, later on I started to participate in techno parties and this destroyed my sensitive psyche. First depression, then toxic psychosis. I was hospitalized 6 months, for schizophrenia, then addiction treatment and received several diagnosis since then. My self-esteem lowered quite a lot. From my childhood, I am a personality and anti-authoritarian, I did art and so on, which made psychiatrists always confused (literally, they often didnt know completely what to do with me). During hospitalization, I tried to stop smoking, doing sports and learning, I felt quite well soon. But later on I started to smoke, started to drink alkohol as proposed by my psychiatrist to go to parties to have social contacts. It was a very renowned doctor, however today patient himself. However, I started to study at college, though not realizing i am completely dump on antipsychotics, always not understanding where the hell my creativity and inteligence from high-school disappeared. Of course - the diagnosis was to be blamed. I ve been always interested in religion. in 2006, i tried to do yoga, and from 2007 i started to do daily. I really feel I was completely closed and dump in that time, didnt realize how diet, good company etc. are important as well. But in 2008 I started to do social work with autistic persons, which made mi stronger and forced me to start to travel, go to mountains, do sports etc. In 2010 I enrolled in a prestigious social work Master program. I didnt enjoy, but it definitely re-thought me how to use critical thinking and real scientific approach. In 2011 i did a research in India on ayurveda, social work and autism, which i accidentelly succesfully completed by skipping my doses for 7 days, when my brain started to work for a while. Going back home, I started to experiment with ayurveda myself. Soon, I lowered the dose from "therapeutic" doses to 5 Mg of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin 150. I started to have conflicts with my psychiatrist, my colleagues and my profession in general. By ayurvedic life-style, good job etc. I came to decision to withdraw in 2015. I had some knowledge of recovery movement, but I did a plan which was complete failure. I thought that ayurveda and yoga would help me, and only that. I underestimated the rebound and all these things. I did quite a bad panchakarma in India, which happens to a lot of westerners, but for me it was disaster. I started to meditate, do pranayama, on my own, which made me terribly ungrounded. In autumn 2015 i felt enthusiastic, I was completely off medication. I felt my inteligence, creativity, clarity came after 15 years. But, I stopped to sleep, and few days later i had visions or quazi-spiritual content, started to have depression, all rebound symptoms and finally some symptoms from my original toxic psychosis. I left my home and job, to protect clients and spouse and have less stress. In that time, I was without any contact with psychiatrists etc., didnt believe them anything. But in my state of mind I succumbed to suggestions of people around me that psychiatry changed. I couldnt, however, find any that "new psychiatrist" which was another sign of "not able to have a safe therapeutic relationship and therefore paranoid". Because I didnt have safe home, too, I was finally hospitalized in a very modern hospital in Prague. However, very soon, I realized that psychiatry hasnt "changed", rather, it is quite worse then i used to be. So I did everything to be realesd from the prison. I found a new flat, and started to meet my spouse again. I tried a psychotherapeutic program, which was "new", but same patterns again. Finally, my yoga teacher recommended me a private psychologist, and I am in that process now and it helps. I started to very cautiously do yoga again. I found a physical job - gardens and ecological agriculture. This makes me grounded and gives time to plan everything. I am going to do social work only part-time, to reduce stress. Last 3 years I worked with refugees, and you know what is happening now in Europe... I am preparing to have a house with a garden, to stay grounded during the next year. I am discovering a healing power of nature and physical work, which is well related to ayurveda philosophy. I know now that yoga is powerful tool, and in India usually corrupted. Its a tool, which can helps but also harm. I try to focus my attention to my body, which is grounding yoga technique, not to think much. I am not looking for "spiritual" fantastic experiences, rather for true and the Earth, and rebuilding my life. I also strive to find new supportive friends and I am partly succesfull. And I read this forum, because these information are gold, and no psychiatrist in present state of affairs will do this job for me, unfortunatelly.
  21. I was really stressed out after a breakup with a manipulative ex boyfriend and had a psychotic break in November 2016,I thought he was tracking me and was I was taken to hospital by my parents. While there, I read some material and then thought my ex was going to harm me. So they put me on Risperidone 1mg, saying it was going to help me get better. I think I took that for a week, complaining that it was too strong, they reduced the dose to 0.5mg for 2weeks. I hated the stuff and had leg twitching at night, so they took me off and gave me Ativan and Seroquel for 2 days. I then switched to Latuda 10mg for a week and one day, on the way to the hospital, I jumped out of the car, completely scared and was admitted again to the psych ward. (I think it was the meds b/c I felt confined in my seatbelt in the backseat and felt restless, plus I was feeling extremely suicidal). I was readmitted and given paliperidone (invega) which turned me into an emotional zombie and was taking 6mg for 2 months, I went up to 9mg for a week and they lowered it back to 6mg b/c it blunted me severely. I started to develop restlessness, so they switched me onto abilify (aripiprazole) 10mg for 1 1/2 months to try and get rid of the restlessness. It didn't work, but I did become more of myself on it. I was then switched onto 5mg olanzapine (zyprexa) and have been on it for about 1 1/2 months. It has made me gain weight, I haven't had a period in 5 months (I had a period when I was switching from abilify to olanzapine),I feel less motivation, less joy, thoughtless, constipated, etc. I am a 36yr old female and I used to be vibrant, funny, thin, centre of attention, outgoing, active and now I'm none of that. The doctors say I have schizophrenia and I have to be on these meds for 1-2 years b/c I had only one psychotic episode and you can try to come off the meds at that time (which scares me from hearing all the horror stories and I don't want to have the doctor put me back on these meds for the rest of my life). I had no mental illness before this and now all of a sudden I have this b/c I had a psychotic break and delusional thoughts for a brief period of time.
  22. Hi, I have been on olanzapine since December 2014 (2.5 years). I started at 10 mgs, then went to 5 mgs after 2 months. I then dropped to 2.5 mgs. Last August, I started 1.25 mgs day and stayed there until July 2017. I am now doing .625 mg/day since July 6. I am cutting this from a 5 mg pill. I am on no other medications. I stopped seeing my psychiatrist last Aug. I lost my insurance then. I have been doing really well and feel like I will be ok coming off. Even when I was seeing the doctor, I told him I could not stay on this forever as I've gained 30 lbs and I am afraid of diabetis, the dulled effect to my personality and other side-effects. I lapsed into a depression that lasted a few months when dropping under 2.5 mg. I felt with absolute certainty that it was caused from tapering down the medication and not a return of any illness. The depression lifted suddenly back in the spring and I've felt more like my old self than I have in years. The only side-effect I seem to have right now from the taper is difficulty sleeping some nights. It's not every night...probably 3 nights a week that I wake up several times in the night. I don't know where to put my question but I'd like to know if anyone has successfully come off olanzapine (Zyprexa) and when they did the final jump. I am taking such a small crumb of pill that I don't think I can cut it anymore. I am thinking that my next step will be to do .625 every other night. I feel happier today than I ever did while on olanzapine. It depressed the heck out of me and blunted my emotions greatly. I look at this tiny crumb I take every night and wonder if it is doing anything at all. Can anyone direct me where to go to post my questions? Thank you!
  23. Greetings all, Around July of last year i suffered a direct blow to the temple (by far the worst pain I've ever felt in my life) which lead to me having a concussion, shortly after that I smoked what I thought was weed with my roommates but it turned out to be a drug called Spice. These two events led to me having hallucinations one day and I checked myself into a hospital. Long story short they didnt diagnose me with anything they just doped me up with 8 different medications some of the ones i can remember are Abilify, Depakote, Risperdone, Zyprexa, Ativan, Vistril, and Lithium ( i can't recall the other drugs names). I was on so many meds I don't remember the first two days I was there. Long story short they held me against my will for three and a half weeks before I was able to get a different doctor and get released. Since my release I have felt emotionally numb i cant feel happiness or joy, sadness nor pleasure. I feel like I have lost some intelligence, as well as vocabulary and my creative ability. Prior to being given I was very creative all my life I enjoyed writing music and poetry, I also loved playing sports mainly football, Working out, Playing video games and watching movies. I no longer get any enjoyment what so ever from anything i once found interesting. I find it hard to carry on a conversation I feel socially unconfident due to the fact that I feel like i cant think like my brain is just an empty slate. I get major headaches that occur pretty much everyday, I have insomnia (I can fall asleep just fine but wake up at the same time every night which is 3 am). Also I have experienced a tremendous loss of libdo and interest in sex like i just dont desire it anymore, I really feel like I lost myself and I'm scared that I wont get my pre-med self back, I have been doing everything in my power to get my life and old self back I have been seeing a pdoc who prescribed me zoloft which I feel isnt working and also trazodone to help with sleep. I have also been going to counseling sessions weekly which has helped a little. I have done extensive research and have come across many people who are experiencing the same things that I am and we all have the same question can the brain recover from antipsychotics and if so how long does it take??
  24. Hello fellow withdrawers (if that's a word), I'm Bokart and I'm here on a journey to quit my medication of Olanzapine. Down to 7,5 mg at the moment (see my signature). My story short: back in February 2015 I got admitted in psych ward due to psychosis (due to my destroyed sleep because of my night-shift work). There began my involuntary medication of Olanzapine, which pulled me out of a psychosis, so at least it did some good. I was released from the hospital after two weeks of being there. Now, after jojoing with my olanzapine dose (see signature), I'm finally set to quit it for good. I found this community after searching for succesfull withdrawal stories on the internet and found this community to be great, people being helpful and supportive and giving good advice... I know it can get rough when I approach smaller doses so I do know I will need support. And hopefully I can give support too and offer people hope after and during my taper. I know lots of people are in the same boat as me. Why I want to quit? I got no sexuality anymore, my motivation lacks big time, even personal hygiene is suffering because of that. I can't memorize things like before - learning is difficult. I have very little emotions left in me, basically I'm a dumbed down version of myself nowadays with this drug. I have little social skills - which I would badly need because I plan on working with children in school so some situational awareness is needed (I might have to quit my studies due to me making no progress in my studies... due to this drug). No happines, no enjoying things, lethargy and demotivation... About my psychosis, after it was gone I haven't had any symptoms of it returning (like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations), even after trying to quit my drug cold turkey once, which I see as a good sign. Now I don't want to slip into psychosis again so I need to be extra careful with my taper. After I hit 5,625 mg I will go on tapering by feeling, so no reductions until I feel stable enough. My main concern is sleep. I have a prescribed medication of temazepam (a benzodiazepine), which I can use when my insomnia has hit a threshold of needing immediate attention. I'm trying to limit my use of it to every three days to prevent tolerance and dependence (I know benzodiazepine withdrawals can be bad). But the thing is, lack of sleep led me to psychosis once, so it is a big deal to me. I need at least one night on a while to hit at least 4 hours of uniterrupted sleep, which 40 mg of temazepam does. I've tried many other sleep aids such as low to medium dose of quietiapine (no effect), low to medium dose of levomepromazine (didn't help), low dose of doxepine (no effect), even melatonine and l-tryptophan and 5-htp and none of those helped. One thing that helped me though was phenibut combined with temazepam - I slept 13 hours with that combination! So I know I have an emergency brakes on my train now (assuming that combination works again, haven't taken phenibut in 2 months to avoid tolerance and dependency), but I'm planning on limiting the use of this combination to once a month. On this dose of 7,5mg I'm currently having 2-3 hours of good uninterrupted sleep plus 3-4 hours of bad, constantly waking up kind of sleep So, thank you all for being here! And I wish a speedy recovery to those who are withdrawing from their drugs, we are all here together.
  25. Hi, I am currently on 15 mg of remeron. I tried to stop when tapered sucessfully down to 3.75. I had withdrawals with anxiety that made me sucidal and I had to go to the hospital. I have come off all other drugs sucessfully in the past. I am scared to death about ever coming off and wondering if I ever should come off. I keep wondering what happens in the future if some reason I can't get the drug. I constantantly obsess now about getting off the drug to the point I've had to go back on tranxene to keep the anxiety down from worring about coming of this drug some day. Should I just stay on it. If it permantly damages the receptors and they don't repair in your brain would it be best to just stay on it. I have GAD so I may need to stay on a drug for life. I got off prozac some years ago and lived symptom free for 4 years until a bad life trauma caused me to have debilitating anxiety for months. I could not work and could not eat. I dropped down to 100 lbs and had to be hospitalized. I have been stabilized on remeron now for over 2 years. Should I try to stop or would it be best for me just to stay on? If I stay on I'm just going to worry about it until I crack up. Right now I found a doctor in Ashville NC, Dr. Daniel Johnson who specializes in helping people safely withdraw from these meds. He has not returned my calls at all. Maybe he is on vacation or something. I even tried contacting Dr. Peter Breggin.. I'm so scared that if I try to come off my brain will be damaged permantely and will not recover. I know I should think like this but even the slightest anixiety can make me suicidal. I don't know if I can ever risk a withdrawal. I had to go to the hospital for my first attempt at this withdrawal. Some of it could have been extra anxiety by worring about the withdrawal rather than the withdrawel itself, but I don't know. Help, I'm scared to even try. Cheryl
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