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Found 7 results

  1. Why did you stop the meds?

    I'm putting this question out there, partly as a reminder to myself, hopefully as a help to others who are struggling... I am in such physical and emotional pain these past few weeks. It is getting unbearable. My wife and I are trying to stick to the commitment not to go back on the meds. But boy, do I think I want to at times. Especially right now. So I'm here to remind myself why I stopped the psych-drug merry-go-round. I hope it helps you too. And I would love to hear your "why" story. It will be encouraging to all of us, I think. Anyway, I went off of the meds because I didn't like who I was as a person, and more and more I got the feeling that the meds were a big part of the reason. I was an angry person all of the time. And selfish. I would give in to rage - even in the most inappropriate situations to do so (like my daughter's 7th birthday party, for instance). I treated my wife horribly. I would go off the rails, feel like killing myself, and take handfuls of the meds at once (wow - I never admitted that ever before). I would fantasize about hanging myself (even though I would never have the guts to do so). And as these things were happening - especially over my last year before going off the meds - there were more and more times where there was a part of me inside of my mind saying "stop it, stop that crazy person" - as if the real me was trapped inside of this raging body that had been taken over by another mind. I had to find out who God created me to be. I even needed to find out what a real relationship with God was like. Turns out that He created me as a pretty nice guy. I'm loving and caring and helpful now (well, as helpful as I can be given the immense physical pain the withdrawal has caused me, and the anxiety that keeps me from running errands some of the time). I was even more engaged in activities during the window as I tapered (completely incorrectly and too fast) and for the first 3 months after I was drug free. And that is part of the problem. I can remember a time during the taper, towards the end, when I was in a "sweet" spot - where there was no withdrawal syndrome, and 90% of the time I was a great guy. I keep fantasizing about going back to that "sweet" spot. But I don't think going back on the drugs after being off for over 4 months would really work - and it could cause actual harm (I fear, for instance, the suicide bug that bites some people during the early days of psycho-med use). Or, it could just cause me to go back down the rabbit-hole of using the psych-meds - and that will bring back evil me. So I'm writing this to remind myself why I quite the psych-go-round. I hope it helps remind some of you too. SJ
  2. Original post: http://beyondmeds.com/2012/06/11/cope-pain/ for photo illustrations you will need to go to the original link as I couldn't get them in this post. Coping with and healing body pain of withdrawal & withdrawal syndromes Getting well takes effort and time and listening to the body for most of us. These are some of the things I do to help with pain that is part of withdrawal syndromes for many people. I’ve collected several things I do to cope with the pain I experience as a result of long-term psychotropic drug use and the subsequent withdrawal pain I find myself in. Many people suffer from these pains upon withdrawal from many different psychiatric drugs and psychiatric drug classes so I thought I’d share how I cope. In most cases with most individuals the pain remits in time but that can take up to a few years in the worst case scenarios so we do need to have coping strategies in place while the time passes. This is by no means an exhaustive list of what might be done to cope with pain. Some of this pain is sometimes talked about as fibromyalgia. I don’t personally find that diagnosis helpful as it’s a garbage pail term, but the pain is very real. For additional discussion about the varieties of pain some of us with withdrawal syndromes experience see here: Dyesthesias: abnormal pain from psych drug withdrawal (includes info about several sorts of withdrawal pains too). These are all caused by the nervous system having been harmed by the neurotoxic drugs. I do yoga almost daily…generally just for about 10 minutes max as that is all I can manage. On good days I may do that twice a day. There remain days when I can’t do anything at all but those days are becoming fewer and yoga really helps almost always. See: Do Yoga at Home Yoga is also one of the primary ways I practice mindfulness and embodiment. It’s been, perhaps, my most important practice for healing all around. Rehabilitation too, from having been bedridden! I’m wanting to share a posture that’s really helped with pain/neuropathy and paresthesia etc. It’s very easy. It does not work in a structural sense. It’s energetic somehow, though I’m not an expert at yoga so I don’t know how it works. The thing is it temporarily, on good days, relieves pain in my whole body. Even in my arms. It’s like there is an energy shift of some sort while I do it and for a while afterwards. On a good day it’s a long while. It can also help relieve the physiological and iatrogenic terror that is associated with benzo withdrawal. Generally before this I do some brief standing postures that also stretch my body. If you are unfamiliar with yoga and need ideas you can google yoga postures and also check on youtube. And look here too. For simple beginner postures it’s a great way to start. In the long run a serious practice requires a teacher, but having taken yoga off and on for many years, right now what the computer offers us is plenty since many of us while sick can’t do altogether too much. The one that seems to offer relief at the end is simple and very powerful… legs against the wall: the below links are to photos of this posture...I don't know how to put a photo here...or you can go to the original post: http://beyondmeds.com/2012/06/11/cope-pain/ photos: http://beyondmeds.com/2011/02/20/copingpain/legsagainstwall/ AND http://beyondmeds.com/2011/02/20/copingpain/legwall/ Or I also have my butt a few inches from the wall. Feel free to make any adjustments your body finds necessary. Absolute form isn’t terribly important when it comes to finding some relief from the pain I’ve found. On some days doing this can alter the course of the day for the better. It’s really quite wonderful when it works that way. My longest and most frequently used strategy for combatting the daily pain from the iatrogenic pain of withdrawal are frequent epsom salt baths.I did a post on how I do that here. I actually sometimes put even more epsom salts in the water and have also found that a highly concentrated foot bath is very good for bedtime relaxation. I also take Tart Cherry Extractas a supplement. I did a post on it here. Anti inflammatory foods and diet can potentially help any and all pain (nothing is a cure-all) and neither has my heavy anti inflammatory diet been a cure-all for me but it does minimize pain. I’ve since also added Turmeric supplements. I like this one that has something added to aid absorption: Super Bio-curcumin. Identifying and eliminating food intolerances have been very important too. Food the body doesn’t like can add to inflammation. This may include foods that are generally considered healthy. (I can’t eat nightshade vegetables, for example). Finding and eliminating these foods has required (and continues to require) meticulous attention to diet and how foods effect my body. I continue to learn all the time. It’s possible to heal many food intolerances and once again be able to eat foods that offend but if one doesn’t eliminate them first it’s less likely. It can take years to clear things up. I am in process with this. See: Nutrition and Gut Health These suggestions are not exhaustive. People find many things to help. Also none of these things cure the pain but all of them can help one cope with an ongoing chronic situation. Slowing my situation has become less acute, but I still have significant issues. I often say, I’ve gotten much much better, but I am still very very sick. I don’t know how else to convey what this journey is like to those who’ve not passed through similar terrain! Hope this helps! For a toolbox of more extensive coping strategies for withdrawal issues in general see here: Tool box for coping with psychiatric drug withdrawal syndromes (and some chronic pain and/or illness too) I found this book, Freedom from Pain: Discover Your Body’s Power to Overcome Physical Pain helpful as well to deal with chronic pain issues. I have a post with an interview with the author here: Trauma is often held in the body and experienced as chronic pain original post: http://beyondmeds.com/2012/06/11/cope-pain/
  3. I've had a bad day today and have spent most of it looking for help with acceptance, which might have been a subtle way of trying to avoid what I was actually feeling, but anyway, this was helpful, so I thought I would share it. In this video, Eckhart Tolle, talks about how to surrender to the circumstances of life, even the painful ones, and in this way we are able to transform the way we experience life, creating peace for ourselves rather than suffering. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqQ5USouOq0
  4. Hello, people! I ask you that question in the topic title, so I am pretty sure what exactly is my problem and it is supressed deep fear and aslo not feeling the pain which i am sure is healthy to feel in my situation. But when i try to feel the pain or the fear i can't do it to the point i know i should. I am taking Zyprexa and Abilify for 3 years and for these 3 years i was strugling searching, trying to understand what is going on with me and what exactly is my problem. i read a lot of books and articles. watched a lot af videos and now i finally realized what i needed. But i think Zyprexa and Abilify are blocking my negative emotions. i am not sure this but i think it is true. That is my question. Do these drugs actually supress negative emotions like pain and fear? Thank you in advance!
  5. I'm not really looking for advice but just musing here! There is something that makes withdrawal/side effect thoughts 'painful'. When people say they are just thoughts they cannot hurt you, that doesn't seem altogether true. I can detach myself from thoughts some of the time and dismiss them as thoughts but the thoughts that come in a bad wave and have plagued me throughout the yrs on ad's do seem to be painful, excruciating even and I don't seem to be able to distance myself from them at all. Wonder what that's about.
  6. I just watched this video of an interview with Philip Jacobs. I found some of his ideas helpful for understanding illness as part of a larger, more positive picture, he writes: 'I had always previously thought that it was possible to change my attitude to any situation. With the illness, I realized that there was a stage where you couldn't. You could have a good attitude either side of the experience, but not while you were in it. This was when the illness was deep in the brain, there was no way out until it passed and you just had to allow the experience to be what it was and if it was darkness then it was just darkness.' I was having to assimilate the idea of illness and suffering as a gift - what looked like suffering on the physical and psychological levels could often have a transforming effect on the deeper spiritual levels, that may not be apparent to the casual observer.'
  7. Hello all! I am very new to this forum. I found it while searching for help tapering and managing withdrawal symptoms. From what I have read so far, I am not alone here. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder, major depression, and generalized anxiety disorder between 2006 and 2008. I used to have horrible panic attacks(that would even cause ticks), and I almost never left the house. Since then, my psychiatrist has tweaked doses of anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers, benzodiazapines, and more recently added Pregabalin to the mixture. I feel as if though I can function much better, and I have even been able to go for my AA degree. Here's my problem: I do NOT want to be on the Pregabalin. I know very little about it, and yet it has caused me serious pain and discomfort. It helps greatly with the anxiety, but my body is dependent upon it and my memory is very foggy. I feel trapped, because I just cannot come off of it alone. Stopping it completely is NOT an option. Around 48 hours after stopping, serious withdrawal kicks in--nausea, vomiting, join pain, head pain, GI problems and pain, serious fatigue, suicidal thoughts and much more. This is by far the worst sickness that I have ever been through. It feels worse than the flu. I don't know much about tapering, but I think if I want to stick with capsules, I can go down 25mg at a time with it. If that's too much, I could possibly ask for it in liquid form. I am afraid. Any encouraging words will help. The suicidal thoughts are the worst part..
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