Search the Community

Hi all! Thank you in advance for any help/advice. Since July 2023 (8 months) I've dealt with debilitating daytime fatigue. It's not sleepiness, since I don't feel the need to nap—more like I'm pulled underwater. I can't process/experience anything. My eyes glaze over, almost like I go unconscious with my eyes open. It's devastated my life. Extensive blood work has come back mostly normal, with very slightly high cortisol & transferrin saturation which I doubt are clinically meaningful. I'm a 22-year-old male & when this started I was very stringent about exercise, sleep, & nutrition. Recently I've developed mild visual distortions: visual snow, trouble focusing my eyes, & distant objects sometimes seem to flow like oil, although I think these are due to Qelbree WD & not the SSRIs. My drug history is in my signature. Here's my story with a focus on a few drugs: in Oct '23 (my senior year of college), I started Zoloft after an acute mental crisis. That Nov I went up to 100 mg & stayed on this for 6 months. Shortly after moving in June, I began to feel some daytime fatigue. It wasn't too bad, but I thought (& still think) the Zoloft was causing it, so I asked to switch to Lexapro. I should note that fatigue was much milder than the fatigue I'm experiencing now, so I don't think it suggests that my current fatigue started before any WDs. After some time, things rapidly declined—I think I noticed in Aug. I felt strong fatigue even through Adderall (I have ADHD) & ~7 cups of coffee (I've cut back for periods & it didn't help the fatigue). I had known Adderall was bad for me in the long run, so I switched to Focalin in Sept. Focalin didn't mask the fatigue as strongly. My mood was fine, so I thought Lexapro was causing the continued fatigue. In Oct I started to wean off Lexapro. In Nov I stopped Lexapro & also replaced Focalin with Strattera (a non-stimulant drug for ADHD). Focalin had similar side effects to Adderall, but my fatigue became debilitating when I no longer had a stimulant masking it. I think it also worsened from quitting Lexapro. I spent the next few months trying a bunch of non-stimulants for ADHD. Because my fatigue had gotten worse & I didn't realize this could be entirely explained by quitting stimulants + Lexapro, I thought my fatigue was now because of these non-stimulants. I slogged through this repeated pattern of waiting weeks for the fatigue to go away each time I "adjusted" to a drug, & then switched to another non-stimulant when it didn't. After months of unbearable fatigue (& trying pretty much every drug for ADHD anyway), I got sick of it & got off everything except Wellbutrin & Armodafinil (both of which I was prescribed for the fatigue). Quitting these drugs didn't improve the fatigue. Two days ago I restarted guanfacine at my full dose since I realized I shouldn't have quit it CT & in the past I was pretty satisfied with it. I had quit it only to see if it was causing the fatigue. Now I think my fatigue probably has little to do with the non-stimulants (although it did get worse when I went up to 80 mg Strattera). Looking back on the timing, this all started when I switched off Zoloft, & really got bad when I quit Lexapro. I think my fatigue is caused by WD from these two drugs. I've probably had Zoloft WD the whole time, initially softened by Lexapro since it functions similarly. When I quit Lexapro, the WD blew up. However, the mild visual distortions seem much more recent. I had severe visual distortions while I was quitting Qelbree, so they may be Qelbree WD. And considering that increasing Strattera did worsen my fatigue, I'm worried I may actually be juggling protracted WDs from multiple drugs. I feel like I was pushed into climbing a cliff. Now that I'm there, there's no way down. I feel lost. My memory also seems to be impaired, so it's hard to even remember how I got here. Does anybody have any advice? Right now I'm getting my cortisol rechecked & also checking for sleep apnea, but I doubt either will lead anywhere. I know SSRI WD can last for years & the idea of feeling like this for years is terrifying. Does this get better? A few other questions: Most importantly, should I reinstate Zoloft? I was thinking of reinstating at either 50 mg or asking for a lower dose with a liquid formulation. But now that I'm back on the guanfacine that would put me on 4 drugs. And it's been 8 months since I was on Zoloft. Was getting back on the guanfacine the right idea? I do feel somewhat better. Does this even sound like WD? My understanding is most people end up feeling "activated" rather than fatigued. Has anybody experienced the combo of fatigue/visual distortions/impaired memory as part of SSRI withdrawal? Are there any lifestyle changes/supplements/etc. that people with WD-related fatigue have found helpful? I know there's a few posts about lifestyle/supplements generally but for most people fatigue doesn't seem the primary symptom.

Hi I am new here. I have been tapering from 75 mg Zoloft, 1250 Depakote, and 30 mg Abilify. I know those are some heavy-duty dosages. I am ready to get off of these meds, but I do not want to go too fast (and I know I have.) Every four days I've been lowering dosages. I know it's too quick a taper and will slow down. Thanks

I am writing this as an addendum to My Story which details what ADs did to my life and discusses to a degree how I got my life back. However, I am writing this to elaborate on what certain problems where posed both physically and logistically after I stopped taking medications. Please keep in mind that I went COLD TURKEY and did not taper, which differentiates me from many people on here; also my story took place over 10 years ago, so my memory is not is 100% clear which means it is hard for me to apply a quantitative number to aspects of my physical recovery. In 2002 I quit cold turkey from a drug cocktail that included an Antidepressant (Celexa), an Antipsychotic (Zyprexa), an Anticonvulsant (Depakote), a Benzo (Ativan), a Z-Drug (Ambien) and a prescription diet pill (Phenteramine – given to me by my pdoc to lose the 60 pounds of weight I gained from the other weight gaining medications). The physical ramifications of quitting cold turkey where hard core, and lasted to the best of my recollection in hard core form for six months. These were: insomnia, exhaustion, akathesia, flu-like symptoms, headaches, nausea and vomiting, total loss of appetite and over-sensitivity to certain substances. There were also mental symptoms: overwhelming memories, mania, depression, over-emotional reactions to certain situations (e.g. crying or extreme anger) and PTSD from the whole ordeal. It is important to note that many of these symptoms continued to linger in a much lesser form for several years. I know that many of you would like a firm number of how long I suffered, but I cannot put a number on it because I started my recovery in 2002 – 10 years ago. This is further complicated by the fact that to get through the exhaustion from WD, I smoked cigarettes anywhere from one to one and a half packs for many years after. Since smoking can mimic some of the symptoms of WD (loss of appetite, headaches, mania, anger) it is hard to delineate what was what. However, I do believe that smoking provided mental focus that I would not have had otherwise. I finally quit smoking in 2007, five years after stopping meds. It was an odd thing, I just stopped one day and no longer wanted to smoke anymore. Maybe this was a sign of my recovery, but it may also have been a reaction to the fact that because of NY laws and my husband, if I needed to smoke I had to go outside. Smoking outside in the rain or cold was getting stupid. I do believe that part of this was a sign of final recovery – I didn’t need to mask symptoms anymore. So if this is true, and I had to put a number on it – I would say I battled with minor symptoms and PTSD for five years So what problems was I left with after drugs had stolen my life? And how did I regain control? Here is a list: Weight Gain A ruined job history A ruined credit history from filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Over $20K in debt to the IRS plus two tax liens PTSD Estrangement from my family I was fully aware of the PTSD, and would think on occasion of reaching out to a therapist. However, because the whole ordeal left me extremely suspicious of the whole field of mental health, I declined to reach out to anyone. So based on this list, I will try to tackle how I recovered in each area: 1) Weight Gain: I lost my appetite during WD and I also became a huge walker. In one year I lost sixty pounds with little effort. I did eat, but I ate very small meals, 200 kcal 3-5 times a day, mostly high protein and I ate an apple a day and I drank a TON of herbal tea. 2) A ruined job history: I had been fired from three high paying jobs, all in IT. I had no references, a job gap of four years, but I had good computer and office skills so I reached out to temporary agencies. I worked as a temp for many years, in the NY/NJ area only taking jobs at Fortune 500 companies. I built up my resume this way. Today, I list those jobs as “contract” and I explain that I liked the flexibility of “contract work” and that I was in the process of getting married and building a home with my husband, no one questions it. 3) A ruined credit history: I got a copy of all three of my credit reports and joined a credit law forum. I found that there were many examples where creditors where breaking either or both the FCRA or FDCPA laws on my credit report. I also hired an attorney. The attorney got 50% of it cleared up, I got the other 50% cleared up myself by tenacious letter writing and disputing with the Credit Bureaus. The forum I used had a great database of creditors who gave people with Bankruptcy on their reports a card with a small credit line; I applied to all of these and rebuilt my credit this way. When I married my husband in 2005, he added me as an authorized user to his accounts, giving me a longer and stronger credit history. 4) Tax Debt and Liens: After hiding from the IRS for several years, I contacted them and got on an installment plan. Because I was not working at the time I called them, my payment amount was on $185 for $20K+ in debt. I paid it faithfully for years; in October 2011 I was paid in full. Because the IRS has a law that you cannot pay more than 25% in interest and penalties of the actual tax debt, a good $10K got knocked off the total bill. But I still had two tax liens on my credit report. I did some research and found out about a service called the Tax Advocate service which is run through the IRS. I contacted my local Tax Advocate. For the sake of brevity, I will not go into the details of how I argued my case to get two tax liens released, but I did and in 2005 poof they were gone from my life and my credit report. If anyone needs more info, I would be happy to answer questions later in this post. 5) PSTD: I just endured this, but chose to embrace anger over victimhood. I was one extremely angry person for many years and I ruminated and had nightmares for years. I often thought about writing the SHRINK who did this to me, but refrained. One thing that I learned from this whole ordeal was to trust in my instincts which was empowering and allowed me to pick and chose my relationships with people and situations that were good for me. I let go of many friends who were not healthy for me. 6) Estrangement from my family: In 2003 I was estranged from my entire family (father, mother and brother). Today I am by choice still estranged from by father and brother. This is because I realize it is futile to ever expect them to change and to stay in relationship with them will only hurt me. I have however, repaired my relationship with my mother. I am extremely happy to share that six months ago I convinced her to move from Illinois to New York and reclaim her life. She tapered off multiple pmeds herself around 2007 and was left with two medical conditions diabetes and downbeat nystagmus from taking lithium and depakote for many years. She lived alone, my brother who lived close by was not helping her, and she was not getting the proper medical attention so she agreed with me. Today she lives 2 miles away from me, we are extremely close and I have helped her get her life back. My husband and she adore each other. So that is how I put the pieces of my life back after being devastated by polypharmacy. And I joined this forum because I think it is important that people know that taking these medications can be extremely harmful on so many levels. I hope this information helps someone out there. Please feel free to post any questions you may have. I wish all of you the best and trust that if I could restore my life which was utterly devastated by psychiatry, you can too.

Aria's recovery from poly drugs. I had no idea when I walked into a psychiatrist's office 25 yrs ago the horrible labyrinth I'd entered. Slam dunked at a point in my life when I was feeling low and the loss of future possibilities taken away. Being told I was mentally ill, would never function again, needed to be on disability and poly drugged for the rest of my life repeatedly took it's toll. All this impacted my relationships with family, friends and enjoying life. The pdoc constantly added new psych drugs, changed doses and took me off the old drugs at an alarming rate. I became a morbidly obese woman who mumbled or talked rapidly and it was obvious to everyone but the pdoc I was totally messed up on something. I had Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis that landed me in the hospital for quite awhile and my pdoc put in my open med chart I was crazy. I didn't know this till later but ill as I was I did notice some of my physicians were treating me oddly. One good thing about being so ill was I referred to a neurologist for chronic pain and found out my problem was profound drug induced Akathsia. This neurologist actually screamed at me, these psych drugs are killing you, they're killing you. I knew I had to get off these drugs not matter what it took and reclaim my life. At my next appointment I asked my psychiatrist why he was drugging me like this and he looked directly at me (probably for the first time in years he saw "me"). He started sobbing, loudly sobbing, "Oh God what have I done to you", over and over. I'm sitting there thinking oh crap, I don't need this. Our 15 minute med check was up and this guy calmly goes to the front desk to get the next patient and proceeds without any other fanfare. He's robot. A robot. All this in itself was mind boggling. Hell, closure?? No way. I found out I had Tardive Dyskinesia and a few other psych drug induced issues. My face was a road map with twitches and jerking that yelled hey, I'm on massive psychiatric drugs. Will my face be like this forever?? The TD has mostly gone away and I'm so grateful (the pdoc adamantly said I did not have Tardive Dyskinesia from psych drugs). Well, guess what?? The psychiatrist was wrong...horribly wrong. Other doctors, psychiatrist, therapists said you're not mentally ill and never had been. The sad but very scarey part is I'm labeled as profoundly mentally ill and that info is in my medical charts. One pdoc did this...one. I've gone through the gambit of emotions dealing with this. I will probably always be mad at this jerk for what he did to me and for what he still does to others. It affected years of my life and he was wrong. I'm a Success Story because I'm psych drug free and have been for several years. My journey was extremely difficult and I did it on my own hit or miss tapering off numerous psychiatric drugs. I endured drug withdrawals that paralyzed me month after month. Was it worth the hell of tapering? Yes, very much yes. My reward was my clarity of mind, my passions for life returned and I have hopes for my future. I mended fences with family and have made new friends. I strive everyday to be productive. I'm me but a different me because no one could go through all this and not be changed by it. (for more in-depth conversations about my struggles, coping and self awareness with surviving psychiatry please visit my ongoing thread Aria's Psych Journey http://survivinganti...psych-journey/)

Hello, Wow where do I begin? I was polydrugged. I've been off and on ALL KINDS of psych meds the last 20 years, Paxil being the longest (about 10 years.) I tapered the Paxil back in late 2018. It was only a 6 week taper untill I was completely off (I know not good too quick!) I had 2 good months then stuff started to hit the fan in early 2019. Other stressful factors were happening in my life too along with getting diagnosed with a chronic physical illness which we actually thought was the sole cause of my pain and mental state...still very could be but no treatment is working after 2.5 years. I had a friend tell me this could very well be Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome. The symptoms only get worse, occasional flu like symptoms, body aches, headaches , debilitating chronic fatigue, chills, sweats, burning skin, fast heart rate (tachy). My mental symptoms are their own kind if hell...OCD, bouts of extreme worry and fear, anxiety, rage, feels bipolar-like at times. Is this PWS? My quality of life has diminished greatly in these 2.5 years. I see no hope for a cure or a happy content life. I am so frightened and angry. Covid hasn't helped either obviously. What gives? Who has been in this situation or knows someone similar? Thanks guys.

I can relate to so much that has been written here about antidepressants. I developed tardive dysphoria after being on them for 25 years. I am now virtually off antidepressants but still suffer terribly because of the tardive dysphoria. I feel suicidally depressed, anxious,worried and restless every day. I struggle to get out of bed and to get washed and dressed. Everything seems like an impossible task. I have been like this for over 2 years and despair that I will feel better. It took me about 18 months to taper off Sertraline. Does anyone else have experience with tardive dysphoria? Will I ever recover?

Hi , I was on Prozac 10 mg for about 25 years for mild anxiety. In 2018 decided to get off. My dr prescribed the liquid version and I titrated down 1/5 of a mg every 2 to 4 weeks. When I got down to 4.25 mg all hell broke loose, I got severely depressed and tired and drained but didn’t know about or understand withdrawals and what was happening to me . So I went to dr and he put me back on original dose of 10mg which made things worse after 5 days being on it he then switched me to trintellix which I took for 1 week with no relief . I was so depressed that I ended up in pysc ward for 2 weeks at which they took me off of trintellix and put me back on Prozac 10mg and 2 days later upped it to 20mg. Now I was not only severely depressed but felt extremely over medicated and tired and drained so they added ability 2mg to my Prozac. By this time I couldn’t function so they lowered my Prozac back to 10 and released me. After approximately 3weeks being on Prozac and ability I wasn’t any better and was extremely dizzy so my pysc took me off of ability and added 75 mg Wellbutrin which made me physically I’ll after 2 weeks I was switched to 25 mg pamelor with 10 mg Prozac. I stayed on that for 3 months but felt like a zombie so I was taken off of pamelor and stayed on Prozac 10mg for 8 weeks but couldn’t function so I was put on 20mg Prozac for another 8 weeks and couldn’t function. I was then put on 30mg Prozac and was a zombie. I switched pysc and I am now on pristiq (originally 25 mg) was too strong. I told my dr NO MORE! I want off of medications! So she tapered me from 25mg to 20 mg which I was pressured to taper down again after 4 months to now 18 mg which I have been on for 3 months. I am extremely horribly depressed and tired and drained and can’t function all day but miraculously it lifts around 4pm every evening, does anyone experience this phenomenon, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t get these windows every evening , it’s been 2 years since I stabilized, will I ever? Need encouragement please 😞

Hello fellow travelers, I am a recovering user of many psychotropic prescriptions (which I at first thought were good for me). After finally being able to taper off and learning much more, I've revised my thinking a bit: about the drugs, about the doctors, about the medical profession in general and about what I can reasonably be certain is healthy. I've got pretty decent working knowledge of psychotropics now, but still have much to learn. I have read the Ashton Manual, a few scholarly articles by people like Guy Chouinard, and have some experience helping people with withdrawal and post-withdrawal. I also have a bit of an interest in general medicine. Drugs taken include: Remeron, Effexor, Clonazepam, Triazolam, Escitalopram, too much Olanzapine and a few other compounds with varying levels of harm. I am now around two years post-withdrawal of Clonazepam, having begun my odyssey taking amitryptaline for sleep, and am still recovering from extreme insomnia, gastro problems and general fatigue. I can't really say it was worth it, but you live and you learn.

I want to know how to detox from all the psychiatric drugs that I took in order to make possible for my body not to need to take them anymore and to eliminate all the side effects that the psych drugs gave me. This is all the drugs that I took from psychiatrists: when I was 16 years old I took first paxil and rivotril (clonazepam) for a year and then only epival er (valproate semisodium) for a year and Then when I got 21 I took paxil and rivotril for 6 months. I changed to a 2nd psychiatrist he gave me symbyax (olanzapine and fluoxetine) I was with him for 4 months, then I went with a 3rd shrink that gave me lamictal and abilify for 6 months so then I changed with a 4th doctor which was a "neurologist" who gave me strattera for ADD and told me to go with his partner who is another psychiatrist (5th doctor) who added me sertraline, topamax (topiramate), olanzapine, lamictal, and because of the tachycardia that were produce by this drugs he added inderalici for my tachycardia. So after 7 months with this doctor I went with a 6th doctor that gave me paxil, rivotril, lithium and for my ADD he gave me methylphenidate (commercial name is tradea LP which is similar to Concerta). After 6 months with this doctor I changed to a 7th doctor that gave me sertraline in a very high dose and with this I decided to stop taking that pill a was taking but in a one day span it caused me to have a psychosis that made my father send male nurses to kidnapped and locked into a clinic (like hospitalization), in which the skrink that trated me was the one that treated me when I was 16 and he injected me haldol and gave pills more haldol, biperiden, triazolam and risperdal. I LIVED HELL WITH THESE DRUGS. Then the shrink after he saw that I recover reality, I was super depressed so he gave me citalpram but it didn't work so he gave me paxil and lithium. Then I started coming off meds and now I just take one quarter of a lithium pill every day in the morning. My actual side effects that I want to eliminate are: anxiety, very strong heart palpitaions or beats/beating that cause bad breathing and chest pain, difficulty to take decisions, nausea, extreme itching in my face, head, chest and back, buzz in the ears, difficulty to focus or concentrate, bad short-term memory, and wanting to pee all the time. Thank you very much.

Hello all, I want to first thank you for sharing your experiences and for working so hard to make this information available. It has been, in no uncertain terms, life saving to me in the last 7 months. I have done the best I can with a complex history, a poor memory and a very tired mind. I have tried to be relevant and minimal in information I worry will be upsetting or triggering to anyone.. but I do want to share as I could do with some understanding/empathy from peers while I navigate these scary waters. I do have a support but I find myself justifying/explaining a lot more than I feel understood. It will also help if questions do arise or to enable me to join in discussions. So here goes.. Medications Fluoxetine 2008 from GP due to depression and anorexia (age 18) Duloxetine 2009 from psychiatrist- risk to my heart due to purging so was discontinued abruptly by another psychiatrist when I was admitted to an inpatient facility that year. Diagnosed with anorexia. (I was under inpatient psychiatric “care” at different points between 2009 and 2013 for 23 months.) Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010 these three medications in addition to Mirtazapine are started in 2009 to treat anorexia and depression while under inpatient care. Discharged early due to non compliance (lost weight due to being kicked out of family home). I highlight this as it is relevant to a cycle of being medicated and held it contempt from medical professionals for my trauma responses and existential crises born of these issues which (what a shock) have not gone away with medication. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Zolpiclone7.5mg 2010-2014. Various medications tried while inpatient again for 10 months from Sept 2010. No therapy offered just lots of medication and stuck on a ward, memory is bad of this time understandably but I remember nearly going blind from uveitis in both eyes at one point. Difficult to know what medication was causing versus severe malnutrition and wilful self neglect. Was voluntarily held but under threat that if I left “xyz would happen”. Was discharged 2011 to outpatient treatment. Started Citalopram 2012. Caused severe insomnia, agitation, anxiety. Ended up being hospitalised when I became at risk to myself from lack of sleep or relief from my skin crawling. It went on for so long as my psychiatric nurse would not take me seriously because I was managing to not lose any weight during this ordeal. I complained about this once I felt stronger. I was put then on a cocktail of Mirtazapine, Trazodone and Zolpiclone which eventually got me back into a rhythm of sleep. I began hallucinating at night and eating in my sleep more regularly and I needed 10 hours sleep minimum or I would be an absolute zombie. All of this starting and continuing from 2012 until I stopped trazodone in 2016. In 2012 I was also diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder which was never discussed with me but went on my file permanently. I later found this out by accident in 2017. Hospitalised for eating disorder treatment again in 2012 for 5 months. Trazodone 2012-2016. See new psychiatrist in 2016 who agrees to remove trazodone. I have a poor memory of this time particularly due to more familial breakdowns and trauma. Start lamotragine in addition to the Mirtazapine 45mg which I have been takin for 7 years now. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. I moved to a new town and therefore a new psychiatric team soon after this and had a major relapse and felt completely hopeless and suicidal for over a year (2017-2018). I was told about the EUPD diagnoses, the symptoms of which I could relate to but it did make me feel like I was stuck feeling suicidal for the rest of my life and ‘needed’ to be medicated permanently as a solution, but at least it was reason for why I was ‘this way’. Started Venlafaxine 2017. Gave me terrible side effects especially of sweating, nightmares and a resting heart rate of 128bpm. I already had a resting heart rate of 110bpm and expressed my concerns when the psychiatrist insisted on increasing the dose and later claimed I asked him to increase it. His word against mine, and my word meant nothing. Got a new psychiatrist and he started me on Lithium in addition to the mirtazapine and kept in a small dose of aripiprozole as I had experienced mania on a higher dose the weeks prior. I felt so unwell going on to Lithium and I also experienced a lot if not all of the classic side effects and gained 10kg/22lbs in the first year which really hindered my well managed eating disorder progress and triggered me into a severe binge/ restrict cycle. Even on the cocktail below I continued to experience daily suicidal ideation, existential dread (since age 8), agoraphobia (since the age of 13), anxiety, depression.. on the list goes. In August 2020 I came to fully understand and was able educate myself about trauma and how this was affecting me, how I could change it and how, for me, medication had nothing to do how I could heal my trauma responses, if anything I saw how medication was actually tied up in my trauma. If I can have daily, even hourly, flashbacks and suicidal thoughts on this cocktail of meds, I thought, then what is the point of taking it all.. thus began my journey of being psychiatric medication free. My diagnosis was officially changed to Complex PTSD. Aripiprozole 2.5mg Sept 2017- Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5 weekly). Zolpiclone7.5mg 2017-CT Aug 2020. Propranolol40mg May 2019-CT Aug 2020. Buspirone August 2019-CT Aug 2020. Lithium(Priadel)800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam5mg(PRN)2011-May 2022. Feels relevant to note that I now only take Paracetamol regularly (but as needed). Also, 1 x 30mg dose of Codeine (no more than twice a week) and 600mg of Aspirin (1-2 times a month if headache or locked jaw has lasted several days). I also use Peptac. I do not drink alcohol (since 2012- always made me feel so ill and tastes like poison) or caffeine (since 2021). I do smoke cannabis daily but no cigarettes/nicotine (Quit CT Sept 2021). Also from Jan 2021-April 2022 I experienced about 11 infections, colds, flu, tonsillitis (with no tonsils no less), vomiting bug, stomach pains/reflux along with Severe sinus problems and throat ulcers which I had for almost all that time. It is what pushed me to stop smoking cigarettes once and for all out of desperation. I only drink water, rooibos tea and the homemade almond milk I make. I try hard to eat healthy but managing my eating disorder is also a huge priority so I have to strike a balance, I also am really struggling to stomach anything so I have to eat what I can physically get down too. I am mindful of low histamine and also in my case, low acid diets. I had no idea about withdrawal. I had only even taken in and heard the words serotonin syndrome in 2017. My head is no longer buried in the sand, I take full responsibility for my wellbeing and what I choose to accept as a form a treatment going forward and forgive myself for all I had to do to get here. I am suffering the consequences of my own ignorance but I will not continue to suffer as a consequence of other’s ignorance. However I got here, I am here now and I owe it to myself to keep working through all of this so I can find out if there is a life out there for me yet, more importantly, a life I want to live. This website (where I have quietly lurked for 7 months) has enabled me to keep going but most importantly enabled me to advocate for myself. I have, as a result, an incredibly helpful and supportive GP who sees me every 3 weeks (this is both indescribably helpful for the WD but, mostly, in healing my medical trauma - i have not gone into detail but what I have experienced has truly broken my ability to trust any Drs at this point). My focal point for healing complex trauma is not really different than this journey, nervous system healing all the way. I am so lonely though and afraid that this is it for me, that I need accept that my life will be inside 4 walls forever, that I will think not being here is the better option no matter how hard I work to show myself otherwise.. how can I truly show myself that life is worth living when I live the same day or week over and over again. I owe it to myself to find out. I can’t have come this far only to give up now and not know what comes next for me. Surely if I have gotten through these 32 years of life so far I can endure what comes next? Im so afraid I’m spoiled now, ruined and defective. That I can never be healed. I have to tell myself that isn’t true, surely natural selection would have had me by now if I didn’t have the capacity to heal the damage that has been done. The last thing I want to say is that I am totally open to being educated about cannabis and its effects on withdrawal or the nervous system but quite honestly it is the only unhealthy coping mechanism I have left, after pairing all others down, while I overcome my trauma. I am fully aware it is not ideal and for me, telling myseld I can’t or shouldn’t just wont work. Education and understanding could work. Understanding completely the consequences and effects I think can help me make a conscious and informed choice rather than a self judgmental one (which in my experience never helps me abstain, if anything quite the opposite). Thanks for reading if you made it this far.. Below is a full list of the symptoms I am experiencing. The do fluctuate and I do get windows but only enough to keep up with the house and my self care. I am still housebound, isolated, agoraphobic, unable to drive and feel so unbearably dependent. Headaches (Daily Headaches, Pain at base of skull, Scalp pain, Jaw pain/tightness/clicking, Sensitive to sunlight, Eye soreness/heaviness, Shooting pain in temple) Muscular and Joint issues (Pain in Jaw and Face/Scalp/Base of skull/Neck/Shoulders/Ribs/Lower Back/Hips, Jaw Locking, Muscles ‘burn’ with minimal use (ie stairs/brushing teeth), Joints stiff and click, Whole body aches next day from very minimal activity/stress or no reason at all, Difficulty keeping muscles relaxed, Restless Legs, Shaking/Trembling, Feeling of weakness) Exhaustion and Sleep issues (Fatigue, Extreme sleepiness/yawning, Difficulty falling/staying asleep, Vivid dreams) Stomach issues (Nausea, Lack of Appetite, Hunger pain, Pain under (mostly left) ribs, Stomach cramps, Diarrhoea) Temperature Control issues (Goosebumps, Chills, Hot Flushes, Sweating, Prickling/Itchy Skin) Cognitive (Forgetful, Lack of Concentration, Brain Fog, Feeling Detached/Dizzy, Crying Spells) Sinus/Oral issues (Runny Nose, Tongue and Throat Ulcers, Dry Mouth, Sore Throat, Cramps in Throat, Tinnitus, Earache) Miscellaneous (Eczema on soles of feet and hands, Itchy bites that disappear after a few hours, Bruising more easily and taking long time to go)

Hello everyone, My name is Giulia, I'm Italian, I'm 35 and I was diagnosed as bipolar type 1 in 2010. After taking lithium for 10 years (Resilient 83 mg slow release ) , I started to reduce it in June 2022. My main motivation was to try to conceive a child without lithium. Over the next 10 months, I reduced the dose by 20% each month. I now understand that my reduction plan was too rapid, because after 10 months I stopped sleeping and went back into a long period of mania (3 months), hospitalised twice, followed by a long period of depression. Now I'm back on lithium, this time carborate, 400 slow-release (Theralithe 400 mg slow release) I would like to start the taper again, even though I'm afraid of reliving the mania and depression as withdrawal symptoms. Has someone had the same diagnosis and has a psichiatrist to suggest, that could follow me in the tapering? Has someone of you been pregnant after the withdrawal? If yes, how did it go? Thank you so much for your sharing!

hello. i'm going to attempt an introduction. i reserve any possible ambition about a coherent, comprehensive history for a potential future recovery success story. i'll do what i can for now. first and foremost, THANK YOU to everyone here at SA. THANK YOU for starting this website, for contributing, for keeping it going, for sharing, for being here, for fighting the good fight. in regards to tapering safely i did not find you in time; but since i found you it has helped immeasurably. before i found SA i'd been suffering through PW and PAWS for well over 3 years with no clear understanding of what the F was happening to me. although i had a working strategy of how to approach the embodied experience i was living, it took up a lot of energy not having an official explanation. i had a kind of makeshift, workaround idea along the lines of "maybe this is latent C-PTSD that has surfaced in the wake of SSRI cessation" and "clearly my nervous system is hypersensitive and destabilized, and i am intolerant of stress, possibly also as a result of a lifetime of chronic stress and trauma", etc. somewhat luckily these working hypotheses led me to a variety of tools that were entirely applicable to dealing with withdrawal syndrome, and so, ultimately, i was practicing many of the same non-drug coping strategies that i have since seen recommended on this site. for years i was on my own and it was trial and error. the bottom line is, it has been so much better since finding SA and knowing that i'm not alone and finally figuring out, "oh, this is what's going on!" (not that one cannot have C-PTSD / chronic stress / or the like in addition to WS, but WS is certainly also its own thing in addition to whatever underlying vulnerabilities may present) anyway -- THANK YOU to everyone for everything. i am currently in my fifth year of protracted withdrawal and post-acute withdrawal syndrome following an incorrect, too-fast taper of lexapro/escitalopram that basically amounted to CT + decades' worth of going on and off dozens of different psych drugs/cocktails, incl. most recently vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine, etc. i don't have energy or access right now to write in more detail about the long and illustrious drug history and the numerous failed attempts to get out of psychiatry (it's clear to me now that i've been in protracted withdrawal with PAWS multiple times before, but at the time i didn't know what it was and when i sought help consistently received a new and more extreme diagnosis every time; it seemed, according to psychiatry, that i was getting sicker and sicker, and would get more heavily drugged each time around -- psychiatry suffers from munchhausen by proxy in its absurd closed-loop system) bottom line -- TODAY I AM DRUG-FREE. i was first committed to a psych ward as a minor (below the age of consent), that's where i was first drugged. i clearly remember being so overmedicated that my hands were shaking non-stop, i couldn't properly hold a fork to eat or a pencil/pen to write. i fainted in the shower. i knew it was the drugs, i knew they were giving me too much, i know i said as much. i have no recollection of being listened to. my first ever "psychotic episodes" also occurred during this first ever hospitalization, subsequent to which my diagnosis was augmented to include my being labeled as "psychotic". i am convinced the sensory hallucinations were caused by the drugs they were giving me. i have spent my entire adult life thus far (approx. 17 y.o. - 42 y.o.) under the influence of psychiatric drugs. WTF. although i am currently drug-free i don't consider myself out of the woods yet as i'm still very much in recovery and reeling from the extensive physiological and psychological/existential harm. i cannot even begin to really truly process that. i don't dwell on it, i try not to think about it, really, although of course the thoughts come occasionally, but for the most part i let them pass bc my thinking is currently rather unreliable and murky, colored as it is by WS (monkey mind chatter which does not allow for proper processing). maybe one day when my cognitive/emotional/spiritual/etc. capacities are healed, if it is still relevant and required, i will mourn any loss as necessary. for now i sometimes touch upon grief (primarily on behalf of our collective loss and the tragedy of psychiatric violence afflicting countless human beings and indeed our global ecosystem as a whole) but my mind is too feeble to truly grasp the staggering atrocity / swirling galaxy of bullsh*t. for the time being i'm mostly just sorta left stunned and reeling; and sometimes in a moment of clarity i feel a call to arms and long to spring into action and up onto the barricades (etc.), but i lack the abilities for any kind of follow-through, which can be distressing as i think, "i'm not doing my part to save my fellow suffererers out there!" in these moments i have to remind myself that first i have to get better, and for now i just gotta hang on to my own life raft, bc that's pretty much all i can do, and most of the time it's a tall order as is, at least for now. i have to tell myself that what i cannot currently comprehend, is not currently my job. i try to do the tasks i am able to do, that is what is for me to do here and now. for example: currently i am able to shower once a week, sometimes twice a week. i am able to do a gentle yoga session about once a week. leaving the house is very difficult, but i manage to get out about twice a week. i am able to do my own grocery shopping (usually once a week), which brings me a sense of satisfaction and purpose. i am able to cook for myself (i've been on a self-designed, tried-and-true nutritional regimen for a couple of years now, which works quite well for me); nourishing myself is a vital part of my day and one of the few ways i'm able to actively engage with life on a daily basis. there are many, many things i'm unable to do and many, many ways in which i'm functionally disabled. i don't feel like getting into that now. in this moment i'd like to focus on markers of progress. for example: here i am, writing an introduction post. i have not posted here before bc writing and verbal communication, esp. disembodied/virtual kind without being in the physical presence of the other person, is something that has been extremely difficult for me in withdrawal and continues to be very, very challenging. so this is really hard and scary right now; and at the same time it is a marker of progress that i am able to be here writing this at all, since for so long i have not been able to and now i'm giving it a try. we'll see how it goes. these days i feel like i'm in my little WS groove. doing my thing, doing the best i can. i tell myself that this too shall pass -- based on the accounts of people on this site and the many success stories, it's possible to recover and heal. i trust that this is true; which means that there's a finite number of WS days/hours/moments (that number is unknown and unknowable, i call it X). and so it follows that every single day/hour/moment of WS-related suffering is 1 down, X to go and brings me that much closer to the conclusion. this is my way of conceptualizing the unpleasantness and discomfort as healing-in-process. instead of thinking of it as "i'm still sick" (which connotates stuck-ness and static state), reminding myself "i'm continously healing" (which conveys movement and development and some notion of constructive progress). it's very, very hard. i do feel like things are getting better ... lately one of the odd things about feeling better is that the WS symptoms have decreased somewhat in intensity, and now that some of the WS symptoms are less extreme, it's as though it's less clear to me that they are indeed WS symptoms. i sometimes find myself thinking, "wait, what if this particular thing is no longer WS and now this is just 'me'?" overall i tell myself that this line of thinking is still WS, as these are "anxiety thoughts" and fear-based, and i pay them as little mind as possible. it's a strange sign of progress that as WS is gradually lessening in intensity the lines between "syndrome" and "self" seem to be blurring more and more. this is, of course, compounded by an underlying all-pervasive tension around the question, "who am i?" at this point i accept that i have no idea who i am. i don't know who i am now, i don't know who i was before, i don't know who i will be after. my sense of identity is flimsy at best, i have difficulty with any sense of continuity or understanding "me", "my life", or anything along those lines. it's okay. i'm not sure my sense of self has ever been that strong to begin with. i don't know where i'll be dumped at the end of this fun-house-mirror-lined chute of WS bizarro-world ... it's kinda funny sometimes, when i think about it. it's all so absurd. all these illusions and so many people out there running around all serious and self-important and convinced of what's "real". maybe i'll feel like that one day, who knows? ... (feel free to skip to the end of the book, eh?) anyway. i don't have much more to say for now. this is the most words i've used in any one sitting in any context possibly in years. i mostly don't like social contact due to conventions/exigencies of verbal communication (i don't mind context of shared social presence as long as there is no speaking/conversation involved) and so i spend most of my time alone. i'm actually surprised this many words have come out of me! and now i'm babbling, i've got the feeling this is all very messy. but the most important part is: ABSTRACT hello. thank you. i'm here. ain't that a trip with love, "me" 1996-2018: various polypharmacy combinations incl. SSRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzodiazepines, stimulants, etc. (approx. 30+ different drugs over the years) 2018 - inadvertently CTed lexapro/escitalopram from 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg (over the course of 6 months, and under the "supervision" of a psychiatrist whom i trusted at the time) July 2018 - 0mg lexapro/escitalopram 2017 - 2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 70mg 2020 - 2021 - tapered off of vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine from 70mg down to 0mg (gradually but unsystematically and probably too quickly) July 2021 - 0mg vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine February 2022 - 0mg - no psychopharmaceuticals - no drugs/medications of any kind supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 2mg melatonin at 9pm

Hi I’m Steve, I recently completed a taper from 40mg of Vybriid down to zero. The taper was simple decrease of 10mg per week until I was off the drug. I didn’t realize it would have been safer to reduce the dosage at 10% per month. I actually feel better off of the medication except for muscle tension in my upper and mid back area and occasional burning sensations (feels like a sunburn) on the back of my shoulders and neck sometimes. The worst so far is when the muscles tighten up it feels like there is a knot in the middle of my back or spine. It is not severe but it is disconcerting. I did make the mistake of trying to come off of Vybriid cold turkey three years ago and subsequently suffered some sort of manic episode (I don’t really know exactly what it was) and was labeled bipolar, immediately told by my psychiatrist I would be on medications for the rest of my life and placed on a mood stabilizer, Trileptal. Initially, the mood stabilizer calmed everything down and i really I was bipolar. However after the three worst years of my life and a ton of reading about misdiagnosis (labeling), and overprescribing which included a 9 night stay in a psychiatric hospital, I decided that I would taper myself off of all of my medications, one at a time (Sorry for the long run on sentence). I started by withdrawing from Vybriid maybe mid-August to mid-September. I stopped Topamax cold turkey on a Monday a couple of weeks ago after my psychiatrist didn’t return my phone call. I have a new psychiatrist who will help wean me off of these awful drugs. I will be making all the decisions with his guidance, not the other way around. I am now keep daily records of my medications and what I am feeling throughout the day. 10 days ago I began to taper from trileptal 1500mg down to 1200mg. I am in a holding pattern until at least October 26, which is the next time I have met my psychiatrist. I am very concerned that the muscle tension I am feeling is from withdrawing from the Vybriid. I also know now that I can’t taper at the rates I have been. My nervous system can’t handle it. After completing the Trileptal withdrawal, which may take many months, I have the pleasure of going through the hell of a benzo withdrawal, which is 1.5mg if klonopin. I know now that becoming psych drug free is going to be long, slow, and safe process that may take 18-24 months to complete. It may take 5 years to complete. I really don’t know. I do know I want off of these awful poisons. I want to come off of them as slowly, safely and pain free as possible. I want to survive all this and be able to support others who are doing the same. How long will it take for the muscle tension to go away? Has anyone had these similar symptoms? Thanks for taking time to read all of this! I looking forward to being an active member in this community and I hope I can be of support to others who are dealing with something we never asked for. Steve

💜 My Introduction topic is here: manymoretodays: off many years of many medications Simply honored to be writing this. And kind of have tears in my eyes, as I begin.......the good kind. The oh wow kind, the unbelievable understanding of my most excellent, and wonderful good fortune for all that has come my way in some 30 years, and well, even before that. A little bit of the oh wow, I wonder if......or what my life might have been......tears too though. I am now 5 years and 10 months off my last psychoactive prescribed drug!!!! Last drug off was Trileptal/oxcarbazepine. Used as a "mood stabilizer". It's actually a drug developed for seizures I believe. I never had seizures. Lucky me on that. I started my “psychiatric career”, somewhere around 1988 or thereabouts. At the tender age of around 30 years, I believe. At that time, I was thriving, by all outward appearances. A newlywed, and we had recently bought our first home, and I was in graduate school and working in my chosen career. I think I was, well I was just me really, and was struggling a bit, sometimes really down.....yet, I could always pull myself up to get to work most days. A lot of strange changes around menses. I would suddenly pop on out of a low down, somewhat perceptually changed funk, when periods came along. And well, hearing all the hype about the new “cure” in the form of Prozac, as well as being privy to what was in medical circles at the time, I wandered on in to a doctor, an Internal Medicine doctor, no less, as I had heard they were really good and I hadn't really had any need for doctors, up to that point, in my young adulthood. I had however, prior to leaving my home state, in the U.S., had a pretty good case of mononucleosis, the second half of my senior year in high school.......I had completed all the work, and was working away to earn some money for college, when that hit. Recovered. Continued on. To college and beyond. I didn't mention my doctor visit to many, or if any.......I'd be surprised. It still all felt so very hush, hush to have any problem with adapting to life. And sheesh, now I was about to be branded with my first, of many labels of “diagnonsense”. And thank you, who ever used that term first. So......henceforth, some kind of mental defective. First trial of an AD(antidepressant), I think was of the Tricyclic class. Oh my gosh, dry parched mouth to the extreme, and totally anxious fearful was the result of that. And on to the Prozac, I believe next. Well, not too long into that experiment, I began to have some flickering flashes of suicidal ideation. So, that was all swell and seemed to prove that I was even more mentally defective and got me a referral to a psychiatrist. Possibly, a few more drug trials with me. Then I lost my job. I mean they were nice about it and all, and I honestly have to take some responsibility for my part in that job loss. I got to stay employed at the same place and all too. And well, I took that all pretty hard, to say the least.....turned inward a lot. So...... then on to my first horsespittalization(hospitalization). Highly recommended by my then therapist. And even switched psychiatrists.......to her hubs. Geeze, the one I had prior was good too. I felt like a amoeba under a microscope with the new one. I cooperated though, on all levels. I mean I was really “mentally ill” right? Last I heard, that shrink was trying for more fame and fortune, doing some pretty invasive brain stuff. We hung out though, for a good while......in that doctor/patient way. Me being scrutinized, and he knowing all. Horsespittal back then. Like a country club really.......back in those days. And I had good insurance. The place wasn't so crowded as most psychiatric wards and hospitals are now. We did all kinds of therapeutic things. And I think a got another diagnonsense there. I found it in my chart, which they did let me look at. My shrink, didn't disclose that one to me though, the diagnosis. Kind of weird, eh? Left that place, after a couple of weeks, on an MAOI AD. Oldschool stuff. Lot's of interactions, with food stuff, and other medications and what???!!!! Why???!!!! Stayed on it for far too long, if you ask me. I was at first a bit super charged on that drug(my problems were magically over and I had a lot of energy) and then........ pretty docile on that drug, gained a fair amount of weight, and then managed to bring it down again. Kept on going with most things, doing all that was expected of me and all. Did a lot of therapy...... Just kept getting my prescription filled and taking my doses. I think it was the brand Parnate, seems like I was on another MAOI too at some point......maybe Nardi. I did, however, a few years into it.......have the dreaded tyramine reaction. Treated with nifedipine, under the tongue......2 doses. I think I could have stroked out, glad I did not. Horrible occipital headache that had me crawling on the floor and I managed to get to the phone, call my shrink, who had me take my pulse(rapid it was) and remind me to take the nifedipine he had prescribed for "just in case". Sun/son was a baby and napping after lunch. I had both aged cheese and sausage at lunch.......I never was great, nor was it reinforced for me(the dietary and drink restrictions), with the dietary restrictions. I guess they thought since I was in graduate school, and in the medical profession that I would be good? I mean I don't know. Anyway......I thought I was a goner with that reaction though. I could not even stand up the pain in my head was so bad. Nifedipine helped......probably dropped my BP(blood pressure) a lot. My pulse went back to normal. I called my then husband home from work, and crawled into bed. Next day off to work maybe? I don't remember, likely or maybe it was a day off. I had gone to PT work with my then baby dear Sun/son, my MAOI baby. He's doing good, well, at age 30 now. Both of us have some just "on the edge of" idiosyncrasies I think. I don't really know any more what my "before" was truly like. And he is okay, for all purposes. My favorite person ever. Fast forward here to 1999, now that was a big year. I was still on the Parnate. Not doing horrid, but into that weird drug induced change of persona or something. A little dulled mentally. I still could get pretty down and out, and didn't really have a clue what to do......but fake it? By now we had moved, and I had a shrink closer to home. AND once again, a job loss......good enough......I wasn't bringing in a whole lot financially to the now merged practice I was part of......so a lay off really. I took it hard though. But decided to get off my MAOI at that point. I knew this wasn't right somehow. Taken off that over 2 weeks, and started on a little dose of Zoloft then, after 2 weeks. Oh my heck ahello. WD(withdrawal) set in. Only I didn't know that, and if my doctor did, they were not telling me. Urgha. And on and on I went......for awhile. More drugs, multiple drugs at once and of course diagnoses to match up with the drugging. The second shrink, well......at one point as I was walking out the door he says, "Hey, I'm almost certain you've had some childhood trauma". No further exploration with me. Nothing. Wow. O....kay. I kept that to myself even. For already I was branded and labeled and.........you know the drill. Felt like a nothing nobody in that system of care. Anyway.....I've since pinpointed the trauma(s). Won't go into that here. Mostly thriving now. Do work on things, with the pros every now and then. And with myself. So, next up........ I latched on to being bipolar. Read everything I could. Checked the DSM bible. Version III, or maybe IV......I don't know. And it did not add up. Because.....at that time, it was still in there.......these ups and downs, and that if they could have been caused by drugs/medications that the diagnosis should be questioned. I also drank and smoked and had dabbled with "recreational" psychoactives from the time I was a teen. Happy to report -clean and sober for over 6 years now. And....an ex smoker of tobacco now, again. I'll make it though. It does strike me now how extremely fortunate I am, given it all, to still be alive and most days grateful for it all as well. I can't live on consistent persistent anger. I do struggle to feel anger and it sometimes comes out wrong. Not dangerously so. It wasn't allowed for me, as a kid, to learn healthy expression of anger. I was the youngest child, and very much the observer, of all things good and bad. When I got here I was 6 months or so off Lexapro AND remedicated with 2 drugs, and had a lengthy decades long history of medications/drugs. So May of 2015. Was I 58 years old? I think so. And had a passing knowledge now of WD and tapering. An Icarus guide. Was reading Beyond Meds. Was also a certified peer in my state and was getting into the peers helping peers movement. Met some like me too. Much help. Much appreciation for those friends. Some here still, some gone now. I had tried some naturopath things while on drugs and also to come off them. Drugs being prescribed medications. That wasn't great and cost a fortune. Okay, so I'm here now. Learning more. And then even in my early acute WD state, was able to come to the conclusion that reinstatement would probably not be for me. I based it on the time since off Lexapro, and the other drugs I was on, and somehow reached the right decision for me. Oh, of course it would have been nice if the knowledge was there, at the hospital I went to, to give me a mini-dose of Lexapro.....after my too quick tapering. But it was not. I even had my liquid Lexapro with me at that time. Acute WD for me was......well indescribable....yet, I'll try to sum things up a bit. Total psych hospitalizations for me over what I call my psychiatric career were 5. All were voluntary. After a drug change of some type. Off one, on another or what have you? Some likely adverse effects from my prescribed drugs. Drug history: Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total. AD's, antipsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more. Ask me?......I probably was on it. Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self. 10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 20 mg., then 10 mg, then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary). I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day. 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! 12/16/2016- tapered down with the oxcarbazepine, split the dose into 2, 12 hours apart, tapered at 2 week intervals near the end, and then jumped at 24 mg total dosage to 0. Withdrawal symptom history: And I will go to page 2 of this for that. I am not a sailor, pre Sun/son I did Windsurf though. Still have my sails and board in the garage too. Soon to get donated or something. I hope.

Hi, I have been poly drugged since 1992 on nearly every SSRI. Mixed with Tryclics, Tramadol, Gabapentin, Benzos, antipsychotics and many others including Flouroquinones which are destroying my CNS, cells. And Benzodiazepine Induced Neurological Disorder. The SSRIs have had countless cold turkies for days at a time and tapering attemps. Many changing drugs with no cross taper. I am now using 4 drops of Citalopram liquid. How long before going to 3 drops please. The neuro said never take another drug as your brain is over sensitised now.

Hi all you good Folk, I haven't posted in this group for a long-time. I posted a little bit in 2017 when I got to 0 with my effexor taper, which was far too fast. There was no choice for me given my scenario, so I know how devastating withdrawal can be from these drugs. I'm a moderator in an effexor group. My dear Mum, bless her angelic soul, has been on these drugs longer than she hasn't, and although i.ve told her much about the need for very careful tapering and drs cluelessness around this her dr has reduced her dose of olanzapine from 5-2.5 mg. I.ve told her to write down anything at all that.s out of the ordinary and tell me. My dad.s watching out for her but from his dr believing position i feel he wont be of much use to her. Nor will her dr. I guess i.m asking if wd symptoms are in the same park between effexor and olanzapine. I think i already know the answer but just want to be aware of any possible different wd symptoms between them. Another probably difficult to answer question, might dropping from 5-2.5 olanzapine be similar to dropping effexor from 75-37.5? You know, entering the danger zone as the lower end is approached? Her drs reduced her effexor from 225-112.5 in 37.5 increments over quite a while and she.s well and truly stable from that. I do cringe at the size of the drops and am frustrated by the belief some of my family have in the "wisdom" of drs in this regard. I know how dangerous this is. I.ve told her much about wd so hopefully she.ll be on red alert and ready to consider my help when the need arises. I saw a link on how to prepare a liquid solution here with olanzapine and will have a good look at it. Thanks for your time.

"Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses" I'm wondering if I could include a couple of the non-psychiatric health problems I'm struggling with because the medications for those chronic issues interact with and complicate my AD withdrawal. Also the symptoms of those illnesses can be indistinguishable from the side effects and withdrawal symptoms of the psychiatric meds. I'm currently taking 11 different prescription medications. My history is so long, 25+ years, and complicated and my memory has been so disrupted that I really can't recall when or in what order the various drugs were added though I do know that it all started with the AD. Would it be okay if I begin by simply describing what I'm currently taking and the dosages?

Thankful to have come upon this forum and I’m thankful for all those contributing their time, experience, help, and care to so many. I just wish I would have found this a very long time ago. I consider myself an educated, intelligent woman. That I have been duped for so long could easily lead me to take it out on myself. I imagine it’s something I’ve known for a long time, but the “professionals” kept telling me that the recurrence of severe depression/anxiety after stopping the meds was just proof that I needed them, forever, and after so many failures, I believed them. I am about to turn 59 and have been on antidepressants for over 30 years. I will add a timeline to my signature very soon. My most-immediate issue involves the past 9 months and I was needing your help to try and decide what to do next. My next appointment with my psychiatrist is in mid-February. I’ve only seen him once before, but it was obvious he didn’t believe in slow tapers, although he did acknowledge withdrawals. In April, 2019, after being on Effexor for about 20 years, my then psychiatric nurse practitioner decided that I must be bipolar 2 since the medication was no longer working. She tried to convince me, even though I had never experienced hypomania. What transpired after that was a nightmare. I made a big mistake trusting her. Here’s the timeline of these past 9 or 10 months in a nutshell: April, 2019: Effexor 37.5 (had been on that dose for 2 years, but on Effexor for about 20) April 11, 2019 Latuda 20mg added to Effexor. April 22, 2019 Latuda increased to 40mg. Terrible panic (hadn’t had a panic attack in 20 years), terrible nausea, doom and gloom, facial ticks, etc. May 14, 2019: Latuda reduced back to 20mg. Still on Effexor 37.5. Panic and doom and gloom continue. May 27, 2019: Latuda reduced to 10 mg for 3 days then ct (per dr’s orders). Continue on Effexor 37.5. June 10, 2019: Rexulti added. Started w .5 mg a few days then increased to 1mg. June 5, 2019: Rexulti reduced to .5mg. July 1-24, 2019. Rexulti reduced to .25mg over couple of weeks then off. July 24, 2019: New psych had me CT off Effexor. When I brought up the idea of tapering it slower, she laughed, saying I was on almost 0 already. I should have trusted my gut, but didn’t. Within two weeks, I was in a crippling depression with lots of anxiety/panic and suicidal to an extreme. I can’t recall ever being this depressed, or that it was even possible to feel this bad. September 9, 2019, began Viibryd (low dose, not sure mg) via original psych NP. CT per dr’s orders on September 19 due to side effects. September 23, 2019, began Trintellix. Terrible nausea, pain. CT per dr’s orders on September 27. September 28, 2019, began 10mg Prozac. Helped calm the depression, but made me very anxious. Legs shaking up and down, inner agitation (not anger) October 24, 2019: Saw a new NP at the clinic of a new-to-me psychiatrist since I couldn’t get in with him until the end of December. She had me do a rapid taper of Prozac while starting on Pristiq 25mg for 10 days, then 50mg after that. Began having tinnitus, muscle pains, headache, neck pains, but depression and anxiety much better. December 26, 2019: Saw new psychiatrist. He wanted me to stop Pristiq (because of the side effects) by skipping it every other day for a week then switch to Cymbalta. I declined, knowing that my cns was already in an uproar. He then lowered my Pristiq down to 25mg. Without him knowing, I thought maybe cutting my pills to gradually lower to 25mg would be better. I took 25mg + 1/8th of a 50 (6.25) in the morning then another 6.25 12 hours later. I did this for 3 or 4 days but couldn’t take the side effects (stomach pain, tremors, flu, headache, etc). Decided cutting the tabs wasn’t going to work. Began just taking the 25mg tablet after those 3 or 4 days. Symptoms improved immediately. Have been on this dose since. So, here I am now. The Pristiq 25mg is feeling like it’s too much, but, then again, I don’t know if it’s the Pristiq or withdrawals from all the other junk my body has been fed the past 8-9 months. It’s really not too bad, though. I have tinnitus, muscle pains in my upper body and arms, some mild restlessness, itchy eyelids, and I feel kind of drugged. I really expected to feel worse. I’m a poor metabolizer of serotonin (SLC6A4), poor metabolizer at CYP2D6, plus I have slow motility of my intestines due to surgery for a small bowel obstruction 7 years ago (caused by adhesions). Small dosages go a long way in my body. The other huge factor is this medicine is causing high blood pressure (162+/82+) and I just had open-heart surgery 1.5 years ago to repair a rare congenital birth defect. I cannot afford to have anything messing with my heart. I’ve been off all heart medications since 3 months after surgery. The psych and NP new all of this information. I had even checked with my cardiologist to make sure Pristiq was ok (before taking the first dose). He said it should be, stating that only a small % had issues with it. I need to get off of Pristiq and AD’s in general. I just don’t know what to do. I want to have a plan thought out before my next appointment mid-February (or sooner, if you think it’s needed). After spending a lot of time reading this forum, I believe my three best options are: Stay on Pristiq and taper down using compounded dosages. The problem is that I live in the middle of nowhere, rural community, and have tried to find a compounding pharmacy in my state who will compound Pristiq. So far, I haven’t found one who would agree to do it. I’ve used the compounding pharmacy finder link here in SA. I have not heard back from everyone, though. My body does not tolerate the cut pills. The main drawback to this option is my blood pressure. I think the reason Effexor didn’t affect my BP much was because at the low dose, the norepinephrine didn’t kick in. But, with the Pristiq, it must kick in at the lower dosage. This is my theory, anyway. Switch to Effexor. I like this option solely because it would be easier to taper, in my opinion. It would also be better for my heart, unless I had a bad reaction switching back. That’s the main disadvantage of this option...not knowing if I’ll have a bad reaction getting back on the Effexor after being off 5+ months. My hope would be that the Pristiq is close enough to Effexor and my CNS wouldn’t be too angry. Do nothing and stay on the Pristiq 25mg for a few months, waiting for things to calm down. Again, the main disadvantage is the unknown. I’m not sure I can stand this dose for too much longer. It just feels like too much. My fear is that if I stay on this dose it will wreak more havoc on my system. Then again, maybe what I’m feeling is withdrawals. Also, if I stay at this dose, chances are that my BP will remain high. I can go on BP medicine, but that’s another can of worms. What would you recommend? I’ll admit that I’m very scared. I know that, all-in-all, I’ve been pretty lucky these past few months. I also know it could go south at any moment. Thank you for taking the time to read this and sharing your expertise. Note: I also take Ambien 10mg nightly, clonazepam .125mg nightly, omeprazol 20mg daily (but in process of reducing to Pepcid otc), Synthroid 125 mcg and Premarin .625 daily (long story). Also 1000 vitamin D3. After reading this forum, I know I need to address the ambien, clonazepam, and acid reducers, at some point. Was taking B complex, a multi-vitamin, and fish oil for years before these past 9 months. Can no longer take them due to side effects. Tried taking a very small amount of b12 and a very small amount of magnesium glycinate. Both gave me a bit of anxiety so stopped taking them.

So encouraged to find this site about experiences of withdrawal from antidepressants, because I am feeling so alone in my struggle to be drug-free right now. It is a lot of pain! I abruptly stopped long-term antidepressant pharmacotherapy when I read that new emerging symptoms I was having while on the meds, could actually be induced by dangerous drug-drug interactions of the medications I had been prescribed by my psychiatrist - and taking regularly. I had become more and more active over the summer, and it got to the point where I was getting up at 3AM to start work, working till 8 or 10PM, working on weekends, excited all the time about new projects, talking a mile a minute, and having unusually great success at all my activities, feeling euphoria a lot of the time - but it was just abnormal levels of activity and I got concerned, and looked it up. I was thinking of writing a book about my new state of mind, "Unbearable Happiness", then Googled about what other people with this experience were writing, and found many, many links to people writing about their psychological disorder of mania - and not in a good way, but from bipolar. I looked up my meds on drug-drug interaction sites, and found mania is a potential drug-drug interaction of the meds I was taking, and became distressed. What if I was developing mania from the drugs, after having depression for most of my life? What if I started doing dangerous risky manic things? So now I am in withdrawal at about 4 weeks after stopping all of them completely, all at once. I'm not feeling depressed, nor manic, but am feeling sick as hell physically. I live along with a house bunny and parakeets, as my daughters are grown and have moved on. I had been prescribed and taking a high dose of 2 different kinds of antidepressants, venlafaxine at 300 mg/day an SNRI, plus generic prozac at 80 mg/day an SSRI, along with risperidone at 2.5 mg/day for about 5 years, all intended to treat a psychiatrist's diagnosis of depression, and later, schizoaffective disorder. When I read that these medications are clinically contraindicated - not to be taken together - because of serious drug-drug interactions, and that the doses I had been taking were very high, I stopped taking them. That was about a month ago. Since then, I get waves of sleepyness coming over me a lot. Every hour or so when I try to work at something, and often I am just sleepy and napping all day long, and have trouble concentrating on things I would like to do, in addition to unbelievable constant pain. It eases up when I take advil and Benedryl, but how much of that can you take? Not a lot. I am home from work (I'm a research scientist) and most of the time unable to do my normal things like cook and clean and exercise because of the pain and fatigue. I have sneezing and coughing and GI upset all the time, but no fever or anything like that. Pulling myself together to go out into public is a real effort. I have pain all over my body - electrical pricks all over the surface of my skin, deep pains in my muscles, aches in my joints, terrible headaches, and the only relief comes from going to sleep, and I am sleeping a lot. But then I have the worst nightmares of my life, with horrible things happening to all my prior loved ones and pets, and wake up terribly disturbed. I think my nerve cells are all in disarray. I used to meditate and do yoga but right now, I can't seem to do them at all. What has been helpful to you, if you have been going through antidepressant medication withdrawal? How long does it last? With gratitude, Bunnymom

I am a 41 year old woman from Germany, 20 years ago I was in a psychiatric hospital for 5 months, got out of it after 2 lorazepam withdrawal tries (last one with valium) with Quetiapine and Valproat. Tapered down to 0 meds in 6 years. 14 years lived my life without medication. Then mid of 2020 after leaving my job, anxiety showed up again and I got retraumatized. I had the belief I have to go in a hospital again and have to get medication. They started with sertraline, I got suicidal and then I got 60 mg Valium and the horror began. 15 meds were tried out, I was nearly on 0 Valium at the beginning of 2021, but then I got in 4 other hospitals and everytime they experimented with other meds and I got on lorazepam again. In autumn 2021 I got out of the last hospital, traumatized with PTBS and had this horrendous mix (I know, it is so aweful, please have empathy with me - I punish myself every minute, day by day. But I got also mistreated by the hospitals. :-( Lorazepam 0.5mg - 0 - 0.5mg - 0 Pregabaline 75mg - 75mg - 75mg - 0 Quetiapine ret. 50mg - 50mg - 200mg - 0 Mirtazapine 0 - 0 - 0 - 45mg Now I tapered off (last reduction on 27th July 2022): Lorazepam 0.5 - 0 - 0.5 - 0 Pregabaline 75 - 75 - 75 - 0 Quetiapine ret. 0 - 0 - 200 - 0 Mirtazapine 0 - 0 - 0 - 30 I don't know how to go on. Should I built down Quetiapine 150 mg per day and Mirtazapine 15 mg per day before to start with Lorazepam reduction? And then my question is, again Valium? With Valium I had depression, also 20 years ago. I had also a small seizure 20 years ago during lorazepam withdrawal. 2 years ago I was a normal woman with a life. Now I am a wreck unable to work, single, depressed, with so many meds, and Quetiapine and Mirtazapine are causing leucopenia, bad side effect, why they have also to go. My withdrawal symptoms are depression, anxiety, running thoughts and, when the step was to big, agitation.

Okay, I am a newbie to posting online and have spent the last 2 months searching Google since this happened to me, so please bear with me if this seems a bit long. I just want to get my story out there so people can see what has happened to me and offer any possible advice. In October 2017, My GP put me on Lamictal for mood and 22.5mg Restoril for sleep. I have been on Restoril since 11/2016 roughly. At the time I had a diagnosis of BP2. My pdoc at the time 2 weeks later switched me from Lamictal to Lithium by tapering the Lamictal from 150 mg to 100mg then 50mg every three days, he felt it would be more effective. I went up to a dose of 1200mg of Lithium but it made me sick so we moved down to 900mg, which seemed to be effective. He added Latuda 40mg but it made me irritable, so he switched that to 5mg Abilify in 12/2017, no taper from the Latuda. That combo seemed to work for a while but then I felt emotionally blunted and numb, so my pdoc then lowered the dose to 2.5mg. I felt better so I then (stupidly) quit CT the Abilify in May of this year. At the same time he also tapered me off of Lithium which I was scheduled to stop taking on 6/27 due to constant diarrhea. He then prescribed me Klonopin for anxiety. I started feeling too high from it and was feeling depressed, so about a week and a half later was put on Lexapro. The Lexapro made me feel extremely sleepy and out of it, took from 6/18/28-6/21/18, stopped taking. Pdoc then switched me to Effexor XR 37.5mg on 6/22/18, felt extremely depressed and anxious, did not take Klonopin or Valium. I had little to not appetite and was not very talkative. 6/25-6/28/18 Felt much lest depressed, better than I had in the past month, taking Klonopin as needed for anxiety. Stopped the Effexor today and the Lithium. Started Paxil 10mg the same day. At this point still taking 22.5mg Restoril. I noticed since I started the Lexapro and stopped, I had been getting 3-4 hours sleep and started to feel thirsty. When I started Paxil on 6/29, it was at night and I woke up several times and had stomach cramps. Still had a stomach ache the next morning and felt depressed. Depression and brain fog got worse over next few days, the dose was increased to 20mg after 5 days. I would wake up with sweats in the middle of the night so on 7/4 at the advice of my pdoc covering on-call doc I stopped the Paxil because I became suicidal. At this point as of 7/8 all I was on was on Restoril for sleep. I noticed tinnitus and felt extremely anxious and regular stress almost gave me a panic attack. At this point I was having the following symptoms: Tinnitus, anxiety, depression, insomnia, feeling thirsty and dehydrated, heart palpitations, brain fog, stress intolerance. Restoril seemed to have no effect now. Pdoc prescribed me Ativan for anxiety and I told him I want to taper off of Restoril since not working any more. He advised me to taper by taking 22.5mg 3 days, then 15mg 4 days, 7.5mg 3 days, then stop. He also prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep. I noticed the Ativan raised my heart rate. On 7/16, as I started to doze off I got a brain zap. Ever since this day I never get sleepy and have TOTAL insomnia, can never fall asleep on my own without some kind of medication. Noticed increased palpitations and severe dehydration. Hands and feet sweating. On 7/18 I had a tingling sensation in my brain and then blurred vision in my right eye. I also noticed a weird smell of some kind of chemical or paint on 7/19. On 7/21 they advised me to switch from Trazodone to Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep again and also take Lunesta 3mg if needed (prescribed by a sleep specialist). Still not getting sleep. Now at this point I notice blurred vision and loss of appetite. On 7/24 my pdoc wanted to put me on Zyprexa for sleep but I refused. He prescribed Lorazepam to take as needed for anxiety. On 7/25 high blood pressure, then after then went back down to normal. At this point I feel like I am dying. My sleep specialist tells me to try cognitive behavioral therapy. (Yeah right, Been there, done that!) 7/27-7/30 I had been taking Lunesta for sleep and Ativan for anxiety (pdoc switched again because Lorazepam was not working), but sleep doc said long taper not needed to get off Ativan, withdrawals are psychological and not physical nothing will happen to me if I do not sleep and I don’t have to worry about withdrawals. 7/31 had muscle jerks when going to bed. Lunesta stopped working so GP said try Hydroxyzine and then Trazadone again if Hydroxyzine doesn't work. Of course this did not work, so my pdoc put me on Ambien CR 6.25mg and 1500mg Depakote as a mood stabilizer. I tried this for a few days and still had trouble sleeping, getting 2-3 hours. GP Prescribed Seroquel for sleep. Took 8/16-8/17, 50mg and 25mg respectively, and did not sleep for more than 1-2 hours. Now I am seeing a NEW pdoc, she has me tapering off of the 50mg Seroquel, taking 10mg Doxepin at night, 5-15mg Melatonin as needed, I am still on the 1500mg Depakote. I have totally gotten off of then Ativan by tapering using diazepam. Each day I feel like I am worse than the day before. I am trying to figure out where I go from here.... stay on the current dose of Seroquel and try to reinstate the drug that may have caused the HORRIBLE withdrawals and total insomnia I am experiencing now (either Abilify or Paxil), or follow my new pdoc advice and taper the Seroquel and see how it goes (whilst adding the doxepin and Melatonin, breaking the keep it simple rule)? I am desperate and totally sleep deprived and getting worse by the day, which is why at this point I think she is just trying to get me to sleep. I even have an EEG next week to check for problems there. Thanks for reading. Kevie

I completed "benzo withdrawal No 1" in 2019. About 2 years later I went back on 10mg diazepam because of protracted symptoms (worsening pain and severe insomnia). However, this diazepam re-instatement didn't cure my symptoms, so I began "benzo withdrawal No 2" in January 2022. I reduced my diazepam dose to 5.75mg, but then stopped the withdrawal for 4 1/2 months because my symptoms (which all relate to a vibrating nervous system) continued to worsen and 'strike' earlier and earlier in the day. Unfortunately, my symptoms did not 'settle' during this pause but continued to worsen, so I re-started this "withdrawal No 2" two weeks ago. I reduced my dose by 0.25mg (to 5.5mg) on 9 November 2022, and then by a further 0.25mg (to 5.25mg) on 16 November. My plan was to reduce my dose by 0.25mg every week whatever the pain. Why? Because the Ashton Manual Supplement (www.benzo.org.uk/ashsupp11.htm#supp2) states that: "The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system." However, my symptoms are horrendously painful [roaring, ringing tinnitus; dental 'vibrational' pain; internal vibration (like a motor); deep burning; and disrupted breathing] and I don't know if I can bear the (very severe) pain much longer. It is possible that these (protracted) symptoms would have worsened despite my 0.25mg reductions, in which case following Ashton's advice (above) and continuing with these weekly withdrawals seems to make sense. What do I do? Pause (again), or continue with my 0.25mg reductions ?

Hello. My pseudonym is Amy, and I'm a 34yo college English instructor from the southeast US. This is my med history in a nutshell. I was given zoloft at 10 to cover up being sexually abused at home and later various drugs for bp1 and psychosis at 14 including ambien and lorezapam as needed. Discontinued all meds but the benzos changed to klonopin at 18 which was kicked up to 1x day because it wasn't addictive supposedly. Resume various meds at 23 after abusive bf was arrested for CP and leave grad school. Discontinue benzos and various meds at 25 after a suicide attempt, become homeless, return to grad school and resume benzos and various meds at 28, discontinue benzos at 29. Two multi-week psychiatric hospitalizations in the same year while job hunting and establishing my career, continuing to come off benzos and living with parents for a year but improved significantly in the past 3 years. Current meds: lamotrigine 200mg, lithium carbonate 300mg, prazosin 4mg, quetiapine fumarate 50mg I also take full-spectrum CBD oil for inflammation My script for quetiapine fumarate is for 300mg but I've tapered that down to 50mg over 2.5 years. I know I have a steeper taper than 10% outlined below, but I've gotten off the others before without pronounced withdrawl symptoms if I do it over at least a couple months in the past. Seroquel is the one I'm afraid of and have drawn out for a much greater amount of time. I'll have a month off from teaching soon and the first month of the semester before things get crazy and would prefer to tough it through the first sleepless nights when I can sleep in snatches whenever like a cat. 11/05/21 taper start, 4 three week decreases by 25% (except seroquel) As of 11/05/21 lamotrigine 150mg, lithium carbonate 225mg, prazosin 3mg, quetiapine fumarate 25mg quetiapine fumarate will go to 10mg before going to 0. If it's too intolerable, I'll do a 5mg round. I'm not doing this with a doctor. I have enough refills to do this taper. My prescribing agency is hostile and was never willing to discuss med changes, only moving the dose schedule around. I want to get back into therapy. I'm an incest survivor and just went no contact with my father and very low contact with my mother. However, I'm having a lot of trouble. I have insurance, so limited to who is covered. It seems like no one is taking new clients with COVID putting everyone in therapy. Then I would need someone who would be supportive of me getting off meds. On top of that, I'm a detransitioner. I identified as a transman as a kid and non-binary as an adult but returned to my birth sex twice. I just won't tolerate being encouraged to believe that my body is wrong and that changing it with hormones and surgery is only option I have left to manage my gender dysphoria. I don't need that kind of reinforcement. At the same time, I don't want a therapist who will tell me my heart is wrong for being bisexual. I'm reading trauma books, journaling and getting more comfortable with my body through exercise, but right now finding a therapist feels tougher than finding a spouse. I also underwent low-dose ketamine infusion therapy in September, and it helped me find the perspective, confidence and courage to take this step. I always thrived better off meds. However, when a person is brought low by trauma, they call her relapsed and get her hooked again. I refuse their narrative. As a teen, I was a youth advocate for the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. I clung to my diagnosis as a way to have my misery legitimized. I always doubted the biomedical model and read the community mental health advocates of the 1970s before it got pushed aside by pharmaceutical funding. The reckoning is here for the immoral overmedicating of children Thanks for being here.

Hi Everyone, Well i am 36 years old and my journey with antidepressants started at the age of 16 (in 1999) when i started having panic attacks, i had always been a sensitive person and prone to bouts of anxiety as far back as i can remember. The list of medications went from Aropax, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Fluoxetine etc etc and i had tried numerous times basically since i first got put on them at 16 to stop them, i resented the fact that the doctor was telling me i would need them probably for the rest of my life and that i had a "chemical imbalance" which was determined through an extremely flimsy set of written questions, with no science at all backing it up! But unfortunately i was young and naive and this was back when you trusted what your doctor was telling you, so i reluctantly agreed. Every time i tried to come off this medication i would fail spectacularly and end up in severe distress at which point the doctor would use this as "proof i needed medication" when actually this was a withdrawal symptom all along which unfortunately took a lot of pain and anguish and time for me to come to understand, but i am where i am. I had been on the Fluoxetine for over a decade (can't remember exactly how long) and was tapering off in 2016 (before i knew anything about tapering), anyway i reached a point after a difficult breakup where i had a complete meltdown anxiety wise to the point where it was unbearable and the doctor put me on Mirtazapine where my weight ballooned to the biggest i'd ever been and i am only 155cm tall and since being put on antidepressants have put on close to 30kg! I used to be quite fit and active until this happened. Anyway at the end of 2017 after being on 15mg of Mirtazapine for a year as well as remaining on the reinstated 20mg of Fluoxetine i began tapering the Mirtazapine because the weight gain was making me even more miserable. The taper was going quite well and i had been tapering for 18months and was down to 0.5mg! and found out my mum needed to have some pretty serious surgery and lost my job which sent me into a spiral and unfortunately because i didn't know any better at the time i reinstated the full 15mg of mirtazapine again instead of just pushing it up 1mg or something and holding for 6 weeks (which seems to be the magic number for me). Anyway, after discussing with my doctor we decided to change the 20 mg of Fluoxetine over to 20mg of Vortioxetine after i had done a DNA test which supposedly tells you which medications may work better with your genetic makeup. So now i find myself on a new drug and also still taking the 15mg of Mirtazapine. The medication change was 10 weeks ago now and 5 days after the switch i did have some vomiting, diarrhea, headache and anxiety which passed but have had a steady stream of side effects including - intermittent Anxiety (sometimes panic), mild vertigo, some headaches, nausea, teariness and feelings of DEEP sorrow, irritability, ruminating thoughts the list goes on and on really but they all seem to pass quite quickly at this stage so i am hoping to power through and hoping that these side effects won't get any worse. Once i have had a solid period of time where there are no side effects and i feel physically and mentally ready then i will attempt at weaning from the mirtazapine (I wish i could do it immediately so i could finally fit into my old clothes again but alas the evil antidepressant side effects stop this from being a reality right now). I am being careful to keep a journal of my symptoms and become more aware of what my body is telling me, as well as learning from other people's stories from this website, which are immensely helpful as well as listening to James Moore's youtube channel called "Let's talk withdrawal" which i highly recommend to everyone who needs some encouragement. So glad to have found Surviving Antidepressants and reading all your experiences, it really helps to know I am not alone through this process

Hello, My name is william. i am glad I found this forum. I have not been able to find much about what I'm going through and my doc's claim it's probably only rebound symptoms. I was hospitalized in early jun for suspected seratonin syndrome which was not fun. Removed from all of my meds and put on the ones for that specific thing for about a week. Ended up restarting all of my old ones except zoloft and staying on all the other ones as well. Also started imatrex (mod note: sumatriptan) around that time frame. It's been a few months now and my life is still in shambles. Migraines, vertigo, anxiety and depression and sex drive/function are far worse the before starting any of the meds. I want to try to taper back on Zoloft if only to be able to taper off properly but I am scared. The 6 days of being immobilized by most of my body clenching for hours at a time was not fun at all and painful! With all this going on I was transfered back from overseas to get care. So my life's in shambles but somehow have to find make it through all of that. Anyways that's my story up until now. As much as I would like to find someone who can relate i also hope no one has or will go through this. Thank you for your time. V/r William