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Found 51 results

  1. Pudendal Nerve Entrapment PNE

    Hey Alto and other members on the forum Has anyone in withdrawal ever tested for PNE (Pudendal Nerve Entrapment) / other pelvic dysfunctions ? Could this be a complication from the trauma ? Didn't see a single thread about this on the forum so thought of bringing this up ?
  2. Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone could tell me how long it took to get your emotions/sexuality back after stopping ssris. I’m currently 17 months off sertraline and I’ve seen windows of my emotions returning, but for the most part I’m constantly empty, flat and anhedonic. I’ve been suicidal because of both this and pssd, which go hand in hand. I can’t live like this. I took the drug for 16 months in case anyone is wondering. I’m hoping someone can give me some information about when their emotions started to come back. Or, if you are 10 years out and you still have anhedonia (just like I know quite a few people who are 15-20 years off SSRIs and have both PSSD and anhedonia), do tell, because that’s useful information too. I just really want to know what I’m dealing with here.
  3. So I feel like most my symptoms from withdraw have abated, apart from the lingering pssd and some anhedonia. it will be 3 years in March that I came off lexapro (only tapered 2 weeks). My sexual dysfunction started the day I took lexapro in 2011 and I have never been the same since. I’m staying hopeful for recovery but I just wanted to know what people did that they think might have improved their symptoms? Did you abstain from alcohol completely? did you meditate? what were some of the signs you were recovering? did your sexual dysfunction start from day 1 or only after coming off the meds? i feel like this is the one part of my life that I’m now longing to return to normal because everything else seems to have fallen back into place including my memory and concentration.
  4. Hi all, New here. Was on Sertraline for 2.5 years until this Christmastime. Initially 25 then 50mg, attempted to go up to 100mg under the direction of my doctor. Suffered significant diarrhea due to this change, and so went back down to 50mg. And that is when the real issues started. Though I was not aware of what was happening. I was prescribed it during the midst of the breakup of my marriage, which started to break down due to the fact that my ex suffered significant pain on intercourse, which had meant our sex life had pretty much always been one of disappointment and difficulty. Towards the end of last year, I started to realise something wasn't right. I was in a fog, I have moved several times in the last few years as I got my life back on track. I moved to the Bay area in June. I am in the process of trying to start a new relationship, which started just before Christmas last year. I had the sudden realisation that I was having significant sexual side effects. To my horror, once I realised this, I also 'came to' and realised that this had been going on for maybe 6-8 months previously, and progressively getting worse, but I simply hadn't noticed because I had been in a complete fog. I was skipping doses... just unaware of my surroundings. I was having brain zaps, dizziness, confusion, night sweats, significantly decreased cognitive ability, memory loss, depersonalised. I remember people commenting that I seemed distant. I remember my doctor up in Fort Bragg California asking me last June if the sexual side effects were problematic and I cheerily said 'no'. When in fact they were - but I simply wasn't aware. How can that be?! Cue seeing my general practitioner, who is managing my medication here in the Bay area, plus quickly making an appointment with a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist - who was the only one I could get an appointment with at short notice - told me I didn't have depression, and could stop taking the zoloft immediately. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that, and would like to taper, and was met with a response that I was the kind of person who got anxious about taking pills, and promptly asked me what I would feel comfortable with. Clearly he didn't believe in the need to taper at all. We ended up doing a taper over 2 weeks. To 25mg and then cold turkey. I then went back to my GP as I did not trust the opinion of a psychiatrist who went against everything I had read. I am working to get in with another psychiatrist, but no appointments until April. My GP has prescribed Wellbutrin, I am 2 weeks into that but honestly want nothing more to do with antidepressants. It is also making me break out into a rash and increasing anxiety. At present I am about 3 weeks in to withdrawal. I get spells of intense anxiety, partially I think due to the wellbutrin, partially due to WD. I did have anxiety before being prescribed an SSRI. My brain gets tired easily. On the positive side, I have started dreaming again - just little bits and pieces. Mostly odd/weird dreams, but dreams nonetheless. Sometimes I wake in a sweat and a panic. But if I can find a way to go back to sleep then often I wake up calmer and more in my body. The sexual side effects worsened initially, but have probably plateaued about where they were before I stopped sertraline. However, I am now aware of just how much difference there is between how I am now, and how I once was. Suddenly my memories of what it was like to have a solid erection have come back. Memories of past sexual encounters where I didn't feel ashamed and broken. And so my desire to be sexual is something I have to fight for. My new partner has been very understanding, but I have to get myself out of a mindset of shame in order to want to be sexual in any way. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I have started to be aware of birdsong, smells that I had forgotten about - woodsmoke, flowers. And I am generally more aware of myself and my environment. Like waking up from a long sleep and wondering where on earth I have been. Some sensation has returned to my genitals. But not much. Sometimes I notice what I feel is desire and attraction. But it feels weak. And erections are weak and unreliable. I have a meditation practice. I have started running and taking longish walks. I am taking fish oil with my food, and working hard to stay positive. I have a network of friends who are amazing and show up for me. At this point I am hopeful as things are early on in the WD process and I am coping. However, I am petrified that I will never get to fully enjoy sex again. It feels cruel, given that my past history was one of being a very sexual person, in a relationship with someone who couldn't give me a fun sex life, despite their best attempts. I am angry that I am in this situation. No one mentioned long-term sexual side effects or withdrawal when I was being counselled for this drug. It wasn't even mentioned as a possibility, although sexual side effects during treatment were. I will not be beaten. One way or the other I will become okay with myself again, whatever that looks like. I would very much like it to look like a regular healthy sex life and relationship again. Who knows. Maybe it will be with an asexual partner or as a Buddhist monk. But I have hope and am working to keep in a positive mindset overall. Not going into these negative thoughts, but just keeping moving at all cost. This is my journey thus far. I'm grateful to be here with you all...
  5. Hi everyone! If you have taken an SSRI or an SNRI such as Zoloft, prozac, luvox, and you still experience sexual dysfunction after coming off the drug (in the form of genital numbness, reduced pleasure response, inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, etc) please fill this form out to help us end PSSD for good! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc4NixcXLN_sRV-4jSIWeDAYvQ1V96F-8B0MR8GuDpbjbD3rg/viewform
  6. PSSD Lawsuit

    Hi everyone! If you have taken an SSRI or an SNRI such as Zoloft, prozac, luvox, and you still experience sexual dysfunction after coming off the drug (in the form of genital numbness, reduced pleasure response, inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, etc) please fill this form out to help us end PSSD for good! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc4NixcXLN_sRV-4jSIWeDAYvQ1V96F-8B0MR8GuDpbjbD3rg/viewform
  7. Hi, I took an SSRI (ecitalopram 5mg) which I think I did not need as I was all right and a friend of mine (doctor) gave me that nasty med. I remained on it for 3 months and then tapered it off in the coming 3 months. For two or 3 months I was ok but after that I developed moderate sexual dysfunction. The doctor gave me levosulphride (antipsychotic) along with some other supplements but there was no improvement so I quit taking those medicines and now for the last 1 and a half month I have developed emotional numbness/apathy. It was an intolerable situation for me and I was very much worried bcz of it. I could not stay calm and was on pins and needles. Since quitting that ssri my condition has gradually deteriorated. I started taking bupropion and alprazolam but no effect however I feel calm now and am not very much worried about my condition. I don't know whether this calm is because of anti-anxiety med (alprazolam) or I have just got used to being emotionally numb. Now I have a few questions. 1. I quit SSRI 8 months ago, and developed emotional numbness last month. Could it be because of levodulphride that I took a month ago (for 25 days and went off it cold turkey) or it is because of SSRI that I quit 8 months ago? 2. Since quitting ssri my condition has gradually deteriotarted. Can it further worsen??? 3. Should I go off all my meds?(bupropion+alprazolam) as they have not helped except giving me some energy and relieving my tension and worried state of mind. I want to allow my brain to heal itself on its own as i have been told that our brains are neuroplastic. 4. My pssd and apathy are not severe. Can it worsen over time? 5. Will this emotional numbmess ever go away?? Plz comment.
  8. A live interview last night about PSSD awareness on Juliemadblogger Radio. It has been recorded and widely available for free on demand at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/juliemadblogger/2017/10/22/guest-from-uk-pssd-sexual-dysfunction-from-psychiatric-drugs You can also download the mp3 version that can be listened to offline by clicking the download icon at the top too... (top right) Please share and distribute as widely as possible on social media and websites. And help spread PSSD Awareness.
  9. I wanted to share my story, hopefully I can find someone that can identify themselves with my ordeal and possibly help each other. I still can't believe I'm typing this out, its all very surreal to me, I never in my life would have imagined that, at age of 21, I'd be tossed into this mess. Not only dealing with anxiety but now terrible thoughts of suicide ever since getting PSSD. I was given Trazodone 50mg after having problems sleeping on July, I told my doctor I had some issues sleeping, she then proceeded to ask some mental health questions and I told her I had minimal anxiety and that whether I had depression was debatable.I only took the pills 3 times, I stopped after realizing I could barely get an erection. Then came the initial crash, there was pain in my testicles that felt like blue balls, the veins in my testicles got inflamed and painful especially when I got an erection. I ended up jerking off, I thought it would alleviate the pain and go away, the semen was unusual, I never came so much in my life but the consistency was watery. I also suffered from terrible abdominal and pelvic pain which has gone at least 90% away in the two months that followed, it was annoying and really hard to concentrate on my studies but I thank God that’s gotten better. I'm not sure how common this is but I feel like my left ******** shrunk, I wonder if anyone on trazodone or other anti-depressants has had shrinkage of only one of their testicles. I also have Urinary incontincancy.It got to a point where I had to tell my parents, it was embarrassing, I cried and told them these pills changed me and that I'm not ok. I was pretty much saying my goodbyes, it's so easy to just end the pain and kill myself but after a long discussion I'm going to wait this out as long as I possibly can. I can't just do this to them, they’ve suffered so much and given me more than I could ever ask for, I can't end my life knowing I'd leave them in so much emotional suffering.I posted my story on another forum as well. Could this be PSSD, chemical epididimytis, prostatitis, pelvic floor dysfunciton? The symptoms with many of these conditions seem to over lap, What I do know is these problems are directly due to Trazodone. I'm just not sure where to go with this problem now, I honestly can't see myself living a whole year with this.
  10. "This Prize is part of a two-pronged attack on the unwillingness of the medical and regulatory establishments to listen to people with adverse events in general – not just the sexual dysfunctions mentioned here. The second front in the attack will be unveiled in a few weeks’ time.""The prizeWe are following in the footsteps of the method that led to a solution to the famous Longitude problem in instituting a Prize.The first step is to raise $100,000 toward a Prize for a Cure. We would like as many people as possible who are affected or related to someone who is affected to make a donation of $200 towards a target fund of $100,000.As mentioned, solving this problem will likely make a major contribution to solving the enduring withdrawal syndromes that affect anyone taking antidepressants and antipsychotics. Five per cent of the populations of North America and Europe, and anywhere else where antidepressants are used on the same scale, are unable to get off treatment because of withdrawal problems – that is 50 million people in North America and Europe alone. Fifty million cents would be $500,000 – so a target of $100,000 seems more than reachable.The Prize will be offered to anyone who finds a cure for PSSD, PFS or PRSD. This could be a doctor, a scientist, a drug company, a member of the public – anyone. There are no restrictions.RxISK has several sufferers from each of these syndromes who have convincing enduring conditions. The Prize will be given if someone can bring about a restoration to normal, or very close to it, that endures in our volunteers.There are several reasons why we chose to make this initiative about sexual dysfunction rather than other problems such as antidepressant withdrawal. Mainly because the time is right, and there is already a strong basis to build upon. As more than one type of drug is involved, there is also potentially a larger group of people to approach the problem from different angles."https://rxisk.org/launching-the-rxisk-prize/We need to donate to the poolLets do this people!
  11. I'm a 28 year old man from Greece. I am suffering from ssri side effects 8 years now. I think that Imight suffering from withdrawal symptom (or Pssd). I don't know also if there is a difference. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2009 and I was on Prozac from 2009 to 2014 daily on 60mg. On this time interval I have noticed that I had weak erections without paying real attention. But when I I had awful experiences with women where I didn't have enough erections then I realized that the prozac may be the cause. I haven't taken it since 2014. Occassionally I was on zoloft to 20mg (the indicated dose for ocd) but I stopped them gradually. Since April 2017 I am not taking any medication but I have to confess that I have to tackle severe side effects such as erectile dysfunction, muted or inability to orgasm I noticed also impaired seven quality and sometimes the quantity was insufficient (almost zero). I am in a bad situation and I feel regretful for taking these drugs. I preferred to have OCD (or whatever mental illness is this) rather than facing impotence and inability to have children. Has anyone an idea about what am I supposed to do?
  12. Hope?

    Hey everyone, hope you are all well. Well, I just want to pop in and ask something. The last week for me has been rough. I read an article on doctor Healy's site saying that PSSD is most likely permanent and there is no way to tell who's going to get through this or not. I would give everything I have and everything I will have to get my emotions back. All of them. And my ability to feel arousal and pleasure. It's tough because in all the cases of recovery I've read online, they reported frequent windows of improvement that increased with strength each time. Well, as for me I never had a full window of being back to normal. I've had flashes of feeling (last night my heart speed up a bit while looking at an ex's page and it lasted a few seconds) and slight arousal throughout the last 3 years (although one night in 2014, just after I quit the SSRIs, I remember waking up really aroused one night). But other than that one time over 3 years ago, my arousal has never returned to even half of how it used to be. I also noticed that many people who recovered tapered, as opposed to quitting suddenly. Are there any cold turkey recoveries out there? I feel like I'm stuck in hell. My brain wants sex, but my body doesn't commute. Nothing stirs. I want to be positive, but I cant even imagine being restored to normal again. I just need to rant here, sorry if I bum anyone out. I really dont want to. Who here has recovered or improved significantly without experiencing windows for the first few years? I want to be whole again. I feel like I've lost so much. Even my faith. Now I'm dark and broody. I used to be so vibrant, emotional, and excitable. I feel so hollow now and I want the silence inside to stop. It's hard to hope when there are 1000s of people online saying that it's more than likely forever. I'm in my early 20s. I want to be able to relate to other people when they talk about sex. I want to laugh properly again, to feel it in my gut. And I want to love fully and not just flashes of unrequited 'like' here and there. I want to feel joy and I want to be excited.
  13. Another Sterilising the Mentally Ill Interview

    A New Sterilising the mentally ill Interview! from the Everyday PsychVictims Project.-Leon was kept in hospital for almost 2 years. There is not much space on a cramped ward and they inject the patients with permanently castrating anti-psychotic drugs. Most often forcing people to keep taking the drugs on legal extensions of hospital orders called Community Treatment Orders (CTO's).There is no compensation for those subjected.Also referred to as PSSD
  14. Hi Ive suffered from depression in the past and have been on various antidepressants, been admitted to hospital and had ECT...this was all in the early 90s. In the intervening years I have suffered depression on and off and was happy to take Fluoxetine 20mg, I'm not sure if the Fluoxetine kept the depression at bay or I would have been OK without it, but as I was feeling well I kept taking the Fluoxetine as a prophylactic. During this period I went cold turkey several times for various reasons...I suffered absolutely no withdrawal symptoms at any time...I consider myself very lucky. Ive only just discovered the danger of CT via this website and others. So far so good, but in 2015 I was diagnosed with cancer and endured gruelling chemo and radiotherapy and was given the all clear in April 2016...one line of text...so much pain! After the treatment finished I began to suffer from depression again, a kind of post trauma effect, my doctor recommenced increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg, which I agreed to. This didnt really make much difference...my doctor then suggested switching to Sertraline 50mg, I agreed and started a very steep tapering to come off the Fluoxetine (one month)...I did actually feel quite well at the end of the taper and did not start taking the Sertraline. However some months later in December 2016 the anxiety and depression became so severe I OKed it with my doctor to start the Sertraline. I took the first tablet and in a very short time I experienced some terrible side effects, dizziness, headache, confusion and a level of anxiety I did not believe was possible, I went to bed for the rest of the day. I knew it would take a while of the side effects to settle, so took the second tablet the next day, again the same effects plus the start of the sexual side effects. I took one more tablet the next day and decided enough was enough and stopped taking the Sertraline…(Just 3 doses!) I assumed the side effects would subside soon after stopping…how wrong I was! Its been 7 months and the effects below are still with me: Tinnitus Cognitive and memory problems Insomnia...1.5 sleep per night PSSD, no libido, poor and difficult to achieve erections, reduced semen volume and a kind of emotional disconnect with the opposite sex. One effect which did remit was the sensation of looking down on myself from above...a very disturbing experience. So here I am in a bit of a mess. I wonder what the best way forward is? I seem to be very sensitive to any drugs or supplements...Ginkgo Biloba and Maca root caused havoc after one dose! Ive tried Acupuncture and Homoeopathy with some limited success...at least nothing negative! Im finding this very difficult emotionally, especially the sexual side of things. Ive been following similar cases here (and the PSSD forum) and there seems to be quite a bit of despair often with the OP just vanishing...I find this worrying. Trying to keep positive Regards
  15. Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm an 18 year old girl, will be 19 soon, and I took Zoloft from when I was about 16 and a half to when I was just about 17, so a year and 4 months. I've been clean of the poison since August 28th, 2016, so ten and a half months now. Since I don't think the drugs were good for me to be on to begin with because they caused a whole host of strange behaviors and feelings, like sedation and mania at times, as well as periods of complete apathy and feeling sick, not to mention the sexual problems, I decided to get off of them. Here's how things went: Felt better when initially coming off Zoloft. Much better. Perhaps more negative, but more energy, felt more normal, looked better, etc. Less headaches and other side effects. Happier...almost manic sorta. Sex drive increase and no problems with prolactin overloads. Continued like this (with adaptogenic herb, B6, inositol, and other supplementation) until December 2016. Sometimes wanted to "crawl out of my skin" also and getting more frustrated when my best friend wouldn't call me, less worried about what he thought. December 2016, my life crashed. My best friend and I had a falling out and he was distant for a while. Worst depression I have EVER felt for 2 weeks straight. I was stuck in my body, it was the worst feeling I have ever EVER had, profound depression, profound pain, I could not deal with it..so incredibly horrible. Definitely would not have been nearly as bad if I weren't only 4 months off Zoloft. Probably wouldn't have been bad at all if I were still on Zoloft..scary. Extreme disconnection from the body. This scared me because the issue was generally pretty mild--a friend being distant. The fact that it caused such a terrible horrible depression made me realize how hard this journey was going to be for me...my ability to handle stress and emotions have been greatly diminished. January--February were blahhh. He texted me again, didn't switch schools, we were friends. I also started taking tryptophan for serotonin deficiencies and the pain went away but the horror of what had happened still lingered and left me exhausted and terrified of another episode. I felt extremely out of control of myself and my life. Never would have felt this way on zoloft. March was terrible. He ignored me again, again intense anxiety, worse than I could possibly describe. Literally horror. Started taking ashwaghanda which, along with him reconnecting with me, made April and May more bearable. Sometimes felt GOOD in those two months..other times not, but it was really not horrible. A couple periods of intense pain, usually from relationship stress, but I recovered when things went back to normal. June..was fine. I'm living. In college now. Was pretty intent on committing suicide a couple of days ago..thoroughly convinced myself that I would do it and that I need to do it. Didn't do it. Probably won't this week. Can't take the unbearable social pain any longer though..it's putting a hole in my heart. I refuse to go back on those meds. Ever. They're awful and they still are affecting my sex drive..PSSD is there. Realizing that I'm at the end of adolescence and never had a true, hormonal, exciting sexual experience and the ability to experience that kind of thing will go away when teenage hormones go away. I may never be normal again. I'm incredibly upset and worried and cursing myself for taking those pills. Also feel really alone because nobody understands and I can't talk to anyone about it. If I weren't in a fine mood, I'd be ready to pull the friggin plug. All of my sexual experiences are awkward and bad, make guys feel like rapists, never result in orgasm, always lose excitement once any touching of the genitals is involved, and end up very VERY bad. Masturbation is 100X better but it still takes longer and isn't as easy to cum.. I feel hopeless and screwed, scared and worried. The same mechanism affects your ability to fall in love..I need hope. When will these things get better? Note: One thing I can say is the intense feeling of being disconnected from my body or wanting to crawl out of my skin has gotten better, which makes me realize that my brain is normalizing itself. I'm just worried that things will never be the same again, because of receptor problems or permanent brain damage, especially in the sexual department... Help?
  16. I used to take two kind of antidepressants for 2 weeks. Prozac (Fluoxetine 10) and Clomopramine 10. I stopped taking them as soon as I found out they have negative sexual side-effects. It's been 60 days I haven't taken them but my libido is not like it was in the first place before taking them. I am too worried about it. I have been suicidal over it. I have read that it can be a permanent effect which drives me crazy when I think about it. I talked to my doctor but he rudely refused to give me a straight answer since I stopped taking the pills he prescribed me. I talked to other doctors too. They said my libido should have returned in 3 weeks but I can't see any improvements since then. So, my question is, if you have any experience of taking such pills, tell me how long you took them and if your libido returned after stopping taking them or not, if so, how long did you wait till your libido improved completely. Am I suffering from PSSD (Post-SRRI Sexeual Dysfunction)? if so, won't I ever get my libido back? Is there any treatment for this?
  17. PSSD chemically castrating another 'mental patient' interview Ali from Denmark was castrated for life at the tender age of 21 with 'psychiatric' castrating drugs known as 'antipsychotics' and 'antidepressants', when he was imprisoned by the standard pseudo-scientific mock trials of the fascist 'mental health' industrial-complex. At the behest of his family and his government.He managed to free himself, but has found out the eugenic drugs of the state carry permanent harms. Ali hopes to return to university maybe.
  18. PSSD Woke Up With Numb Genitals From Hospitalization Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. Christian was unsuspectingly given PSSD from forced treatment and imprisonment at 'the mental hospital' from 'antipsychotics'. A regular occurring not spoken about, human rights abuse. At 22 years old, this has ruined his life. He has no legal rights. Amnesty International 'Don't do mental health'.
  19. Sterilized when Young in UK by Psych Drugs

    I was interviewed on the everyday psychvictims project. Share if you care.
  20. Hello everybody i am 22 years old male i am sorry about my English it is not my mother language i have taken Luvox for about two years not continuously the highest dose i had is 250 my Symptoms i have no arousal , weak Erection i get Erection when i watch porn , i have no penis sensitivity , and my big problem is that i have to get married soon and that is my final chance to get married , can any body who has pssd get married ?? i did not say that i have stopped ssri before two years without improvements on my Symptoms i have heard about many drugs that may care pssd i remember buspirone , betahnecol , cyproheptadine and mianserin i did not try any of them i want your advice any body try any of them ? and what was the result ? and what about marriage can i do that ?
  21. SadDoll

    Hiya, I'm Laur I dont know where to start. I'm new, kinda. I've been a lurker on this site on and off since 2015 but I've never joined until now. I'm a 24 year old woman from Ireland who was put on antidepressants when I was 18/19 for OCD, depression and suicidal tendancies. I was first given 20mg of lustral in late 2011 and it didnt affect my sex drive or emotions in any way. I didnt take them everyday though, I forgot a lot of the time. Then in late 2013 I was switched to 150mg of lustral. I dont think I took them every day either until I made an effort to take them regularly only to quit them one day out of the blue cold turkey sometime in early 2014. Stupid, I know. At the time I was constantly either stoned and/or drunk so I wasn't very responsible, to say the least. On top of this, I was binge drinking a lot, a few nights a week, and smoking weed nearly everyday from late 2012- 2016 as well as being constantly dependant on a dangerous recreational drug for about a year in 2013. Oh and I wasnt eating properly, so my nutrition was bad on top of this. Anyway, I haven't touched an antidepressant since Spring of 2014 but I have absolutely no libido to speak of, as well as no pleasure 'down there'. Sex for me feels like nothing at all every single time. No arousal. No sensation. I think maybe once or twice I had some slight sexual feeling with an ex boyfriend sometime last year. But it wasn't anywhere near my sexual function pre PSSD. On top of this, I worry so much that I wont be able to fall in love, that I'm incapable of romantic feeling. This bothers me the most because that has been my fear for about 5 years now. And I read online that antidepressants destroy your romantic feelings forever. I dont know how true that is, but it makes me want to die. Ironically, that is what my OCD focused on. The fear of never falling in love. So the doctors presribed me a higher dose of a new pill. I feel like I'm trapped in my own worst nightmare and I feel anhedonic and dead inside. I'm reluctant to post here as I dont want to make anyone feel hopeless from my story. And I'm afraid of other people's stories making me feel even more hopeless. I'm down in the depths of hell here. I feel empty and broken and incapable of love and feeling anything positive at all. Please, can someone offer me some hope? I feel like the fact that I was on a very high dosage (150mg), constantly high for the best part of 4 years, dependant on alcohol, plus a history of past substance abuse, PLUS the fact that I quit cold turkey means that I dont have any hope of recovering. I cant recall what it feels like to feel aroused and I cant imagine ever getting better. Please no negative comments as I'm very suicidal as it is
  22. Hello, After a couple of months of reading some of the posts on this forum, I have decided to join, because basically it seems that I have PSSD. As you will see from my signature strip, I have been on escitalopram at various doses for just over 7 years (finally came off in January of this year (2017)). My history on this drug probably looks a bit confusing. Basically I went on the drug late in 2009 for anxiety that I was suffering. I only intended to be on it for a short time – maybe 6 months – whilst I made some important decisions about my future. But my doctor at that time provided no guidance on coming off the drug. I came off very quickly and crashed. It basically took me about 3 attempts like this to finally realise I could not come off it quickly. In the end it has been a long and slow process with some bumps along the way, but finally I am off the drug – but it took 7 years. I am male and now in my mid-thirties. Anyway, whilst on the drug I suffered from sexual side effects, which from what I have read is very common. But it was in late 2013 that I found out just how much the drug was affecting me. I started a relationship with a girl who although I liked much, I could feel no deep emotion with. Basically I could not fall in love with her. At first I could not understand what was wrong with me, but one day shortly into our relationship I suspected the drug. After a simple ‘Google search’ I had the answer. This combined with the sexual side effects of the drug just made it impossible for me really and in early 2014 we split up. It was at this point that I realised no matter what, I had to get off the drug. It took 2 further attempts of slow tapering but finally I have managed it. I am now almost 5 months off the drug, but seems I have PSSD. At the end of December 2016 I reduced from 10mg every other day to just 5mg every third day. A few days after doing this I could feel something changing sexually – more normal feeling was coming back. And about a week later I had a couple of days of what I would say was completely normal function returning. However this only lasted a couple of days. Shortly after this I took the last tablet. I was now off the drug. About 2 weeks later I once again had a couple of days of everything returning to normal sexually. Again this only lasted temporarily. Then a period of 3 weeks of the numbness and erection difficulties. Then - 5 weeks after taking the last tablet - I again had a period of 2 days of normal functioning – this time I thought it was going to be for good, but unfortunately not. And that was the last time I experienced what I consider everything being normal. Since then I have returned to the numbness, lack of drive and erection difficulties that I had whilst on the drug. I have had the odd day or two in recent weeks where the numbness reduces a bit and there is a little bit of sensitivity, but only a very tiny improvement for a day or so. Then back to full numbness. Also I have developed a ache/pain in my testicles that radiates at times into the top of my legs and buttocks. I can’t remember exactly when this started but I think it was around 6 weeks after being off the drug. I also feel emotionally flat – I don’t think I could fall in love with somebody. I think that issue is still there. I can cry at times, but can’t feel any real happiness for anything. I guess like so many people here I feel the most desperate I have ever done in my life and just looking to talk with others in a similar situation. These past months have seemed like an eternity and every day is such a struggle. I am hoping somebody can give me some hope, because right now I can’t feel much of it. Also I do have a few questions which if anybody can give some sort of an answer to I would be so grateful. 1) Why did I have 3 separate periods of normal sexual function in the immediate period of coming off the drug (first 5 weeks) and then nothing further? 2) the ache/pain that I feel in the testicles – is this part of PSSD? 3) one of the things that really worries me is the fact that I noticed a change to my sexual function after taking just one tablet (God only knows why I did not stop taking them there and then) but as I only planned to be on the medication for a short time, it did not bother me too much. Does this immediate reaction to the drug combined with my long-term use of it mean it more likely my recovery will be a very long time, or worse still that I never recover? Thanks very much for reading.
  23. Hello everyone, this is my introduction. I was prescribed an SSRI. Yes I know it makes you feel worse before you feel better but I felt terrible so after a few days I gave up on it . Over the next two weeks I felt worse and decided to start it again as I was having panic attacks, something I had never experienced in my life. I again felt really bad. I couldn’t get out of bed, not that lying in bed made me feel any better, I just couldn’t let anyone else in the house see me in such a state. It was after about a week that, yes, you’ve guessed it, PSSD. I had religiously read the information leaflet in the packet and saw that this could occur but not that it could continue after you've stopped. It was then that I searched online and discovered PSSD. I was horrified. I had never been warned of this. After 10 days I stopped again. I then hoped and prayed that all my functioning would return. After about ten days of stopping I was feeling particularly bad. I have all the classic symptons of PSSD. My anxiety and depression has gone through the roof. Lately I feel absolutely exhausted and depressed in the mornings. There is no way in the world I would of touched SSRI’s had I known the possible consequences. I am determined to beat this and get back to the happy man I once was. The impact of this condition on me is immense. I have found these forums a great help. I’m looking for any support out there as at this rate I’ll end up back on antidepressants for which I’ve now got a phobia. I’m also looking to support anyone else where I can and keep a record of my progress.
  24. I am new to this board. I'm 24 years old now. I took Zoloft for 5 years or so - it seemed to help my depression - then eventually quit after some off and on stuff. I was given no warning whatsoever about withdrawal side effects (or any negative side effects) when the doctor prescribed it or else I would've never taken it. Starting around six months after I quit, I woke up one day in early December of 2015 with no libido (after a very healthy libido for all of my years) and very little feeling down there. It happened almost overnight. This bothered me tremendously and I went through a series of tests and online researching to see what the problem was, but only until about six months ago and no help from the tests did I begin to realize that this was probably related to zoloft/pssd, which I had initially dismissed because it started so long after I had quit. It occurred to me because I realized how unfeeling I have become emotionally. I accidentally and unintentionally offended a good friend of mine, who despite my efforts at reconciliation renounced our friendship and has never spoken to me since. I noticed when this happened that I didn't seem to care much despite the fact that he'd been my good friend for a few years now, which astonished me. I thought I cared, but I didn't feel sad. I felt almost nothing. I knew something was wrong. When I realized this, I began to notice it in other areas too, like I wasn't happy when I should've been and had no depth of feeling. Since I had lost my libido, I have become almost entirely food-oriented as that is the only thing that gives me any real pleasure in life, something which I just finally consciously realized about six months ago. Things that used to give me joy now give me very little joy. I don't feel sad, or angry. I feel nothing, except a burning desire to feel something/anything. I feel like I'm completely numb, sexually and emotionally. It's extremely difficult for someone who is supposed to be finishing up his last semester in college (and an utterly unfair handicap on my efforts), and these last few weeks I've really started to despair. Up until this point I've always striven to look at the positive and to be optimistic, but I have woken up day after day for the last 15 months longing for an emotional or even sensual experience and it hasn't come. From what I've read it seems like the FDA and big pharma have left me/us for dead - damn them both - with little research going into treatment to help people like us. What is the doctor going to tell me? I can't continue to live this way. What this is, what I am, this is not living. It's been 15 months since these withdrawal symptoms started and I've seen no improvement, sexually or emotionally. This is supposed to be my prime, but instead I'm just a numb zombie. Sure, I think it's unfair that my sexuality was stolen away from me one morning and that's extremely frustrating but really I just want my emotions and my depth of feeling back. I simply and absolutely refuse to live the next 60 years of my life like some livestock animal who's only purpose and pleasure in life is eating. When I realized that zoloft was the problem, I vowed to never to touch the stuff again in hopes that I'd recover. But that's not happening, at least not 15 months in. So that leaves me wondering... despite it all, would it be worth it to just take the damn drug again? Of course I hate the idea of being dependent on it for the rest of my life, but has anyone ever got back into it? Did your libido and emotions come back? If my options are 1. continue living like this for the rest of my life (which really isn't living at all and wouldn't seem to be worth it) or 2. be dependent on zoloft to feel anything at all, I'll take the lesser of two evils which is the latter. I'm sure some of you may suggest waiting longer to see if anything improves, which may be worth trying. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. It feels like I'm not very far off from trying anything, including zoloft again. Anything is better than this. Also, I apologize for any perceived negativity in this post. I am not someone who likes to bring other people down to my level - that's why I haven't told several friends and family members about this nightmare of a life I am living (or not living, since I don't feel alive). Sincerely, up until the last few weeks I had somehow maintained my optimism. It's definitely waning now though.
  25. Hey there. This is my first post, but I have a success story that I’d like to share. I’d like to preface by saying I had been on 75mg of sertraline (Zoloft) for approximately 7 months. I quit last year and have successfully made it through the withdrawals! I see more horror stories than success stories on SSRI discontinuation. My hypothesis for this discrepancy is that people who successfully quit the drug don’t really have that much of an incentive to post their stories, while people dealing with the terrible side effects are more likely to seek out information. I knew there were millions of people on SSRIs, and I refused to believe that my discontinuation symptoms would be permanent. Of course, there are always exceptions, but I found out quickly how unhealthy it was to hold this mentality of permanence. I tapered off a too quickly (~2 weeks). I believed that since I had only been on the medication for a few months, I could get away with tapering off at that rate. Consequently, I ended up having over 6 weeks of hellish withdrawals. The first 2 weeks had the most powerful physical symptoms: brain zaps, fatigue, nausea, etc. These symptoms seemed to go away around week 3, but then came another wave of symptoms: anxiety, paranoia, depression, and a lot of overthinking. I didn’t realize it till week 5, but these feelings were more powerful than when I had them before starting sertraline. Week 5 was the worst; all these terrible feelings went into overdrive. I remember a few specific days of this week were particularly dreadful. I had been reading up on SSRI discontinuation online and freaking myself out reading people’s horror stories. I was afraid that I permanently removed what it was to be human. I was terrified I’d never feel joy, sexual desire, or ambition in my life ever again. I was angry at myself that my choice to try anti-depressants fucked up the rest of my life. I was broken, and I just wanted to be normal again. These are unhealthy thoughts, and I was wrong. My life did start coming back. I slowly felt what it was like to be “me” again. Small steps every day reminded me. One day something would make me laugh. Another day I’d notice a cute girl. I appreciated and cherished every step throughout the way. And slowly but surely, old joys started coming back to me: I started feeling ambition, I was looking forward to future plans, I was dreaming again (I could sleep well again!), and I was feeling love again, both for myself and others. I believe there is a strong psychosomatic component during these withdrawals. It’s difficult because your brain doesn’t allow you get past these negative thoughts while its readjusting, but you have to keep moving. There isn’t a quick solution, but your brain is powerful and adjusts to your current circumstances. That’s why exercise, a healthy diet, a support network, and a positive outlook are so important; you want your brain to re-adjust in an ideal setting. So, don’t blame yourself or hold a grudge for trying SSRIs; you actively did something to confront your inner demons. From one stranger to another, you will survive this. Good luck.
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