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  1. Hi all, just been given a prescription of Gabapentin today to help me with pain/sleep as Diazepam/Temazepam/ higher doses of Seroquel doing nothing for the latter - have histamine intolerance though, thus came across this site and these posts [in undiagnosed1's introduction topic]. May I ask does Gabapentin decrease or increase histamine? It's unclear. Look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. S
  2. Hi. I heard this forum will help with other meds besides anti-depressants. I got off of those years ago but probably did myself some damage in the process. I put in a signature so you can see how I got here and where I am. I was so tired from lack of sleep that I was just taking whatever the nurse or doctor said without thinking it through. Now I'm sleeping 5-6 hours and can think well enough to know that I'm in a bad place from these drugs and need to get off. My biggest problem now is sedation/depression. I cannot drive most days. I've lost my job and most of my friends. I used to be much more active but now can't even walk around the block. I also have a lot of anxiety but not sure if it's life circumstances or meds or both. I can't figure out where to start. I'm losing hope that I will ever get better. I do think I got much worse when I started the gabapentin. Actually, I'd say the anxiety got better but the sedation and depression and feeling hopeless got worse. I don't know where to start but I figure I'm not going to ask my doctor for a plan given what happened with the anti-depressant taper he gave me. I wanted to rip my brain out of my head, it was that bad. Don't ever want to experience that again. But can't stay like I am, either.
  3. Hello all, I had a very traumatic childhood in which I was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally by my father. After graduating high school, I moved out of state in an attempt to save myself from being a victim any longer. About 6 months after I had moved out, I was at my breaking point. I had been going to my college's counseling center for 4 months, but only found myself feeling worse and worse. Here I am, 2.5 years later, and am on prozac, vyvanse, seroquel, and hydroxine. I want to begin tapering off of these meds, as I already know that my body has been damaged by them. In fact, the prozac has caused me to have scary thoughts, and in response today my doctor wanted to increase the prozac from 40 to 60 mg, reduce the seroquel, and start me on trazodone. I hate the way I feel on these medications and want to get of them, as they have made me into someone I am not. I feel very absent minded, now struggle immensely with schoolwork where I used to be in all advanced classes with a 4.0, and am unable to work as I have previously reached my breaking point when trying to work and go to school full time. I am engaged to a wonderful man who supports me in every way possible, and is ready to take on this journey with me to get off of these horrible medications so that we can live out our lives together. I am concerned about what may happen when I taper off, such as becoming unable to do my schoolwork at all (which has happened before and I had to take a year off of school), but do not want these medications to do more harm to my body than they already have.
  4. I have been on meds since I was around 18, I am now 33, I have been tapering off all my meds for the last year now, I have managed to get off venlafaxine xr 75mg which I tapered off for around 4 - 6 months, and quetiapine 50mg over the last 12 months, I was on 200mg at one point and also tapered off diazapam 10mg, and also propranolol 10mg, I have been off all meds now for nearly 3 months and have been fine, I have been at the gym most days and eating healthy, I was starting to look good again and becoming myself again, I have not been human while on meds for the last lots of years, I was finally starting to enjoy life and then the last few weeks my sleep has been getting very fractured and I have been waking up very early with extreme brain fog, it feels like my head is going to explode sometimes, now the last 2 nights I have not slept at all and feel like death, I even took 2 melatonin tablets and they did nothing, what on earth is going on? I am worried I have done some serious damage to my brain, I am too worried to go and get checked at the doctors as I could not handle news that I have some brain disease, I have read that meds can cause effects many months after, can anyone give any advice/peace of mind?
  5. Over the course of 6 months I was rapidly tapered by my psychiatrist from 60mg to 20mg of paxil. April of this year I was told to stop taking the 20mg paxil as my psych thought it was making my benzo withdrawal symptoms worse. It's been over a month now and I'm having horrible anxiety, fatigue, nausea and insomnia. My psychiatrist doesn't think that my withdrawal symptoms are coming from the paxil withdrawals. He said that my body should be past that. But at the same time he's rapidly cut my dose of valium too from 60mg to 30mg in one month. I don't know what to do. If I should reinstate the paxil? Check in at a behavioral center and try to stabilize. It's been hell and I'm not sure what to do. I have since been prescribed Seroquel 200mg, lamictal 25mg, remeron 15mg, and I'm currently on valium 30mg. Please give me advice. I already know that this psychiatrist sounds like a horrible one, but I wouldn't be able to see a different one in at least a couple months. Thanks everybody! --sorry, forgot to mention that I was on the paxil for over 3 1/2 years and over the course of the 6 month taper I was switched between a lot of different ssri's. More than I can remember.
  6. So I've been on Seroqoil nightly for about 3-4 months. I started on 100mg and that only lasted one night. Went to 75mg and that lasted for a couple of weeks then 50mg. Last month I went down to 25mg. And about 4 wks ago I've been on 12-14mg (cutting the 50 in 1/2 then the half in 1/2.) I'm also taking Lunesta 3mg at no hr and about once a week ill need Klonopin.25 bc I have a hard time falling asleep. I've also started Celexa for anxiety during the day. So question and problem! How do I get off this Seroqoil?!? Like is aid I haven't even taking it long to begin with and I've taped to 12-14mg fine but it seems to mess with my sleep when I try and cut that in half. Don't believe I have the EXtended tablet. Help!!! If it messes with my sleep, is it only temp? I don't want to switch this to get hooked on Klonopin bc that's a nasty drug too!
  7. Hi, I realise this is a peer support network but I am the mum of a young adult daughter who has had a severe reaction to Sertraline. She is currently detained against her will in a psychiatric hospital and our need for help and advice on her behalf is immediate as I am fearful about the effect of compulsory treatment while she is there. I'll attempt to draw out the relevant parts of the chaotic and traumatic last 3 months.She was prescribed 50mg Sertraline for anxiety at the beginning of February by a general practioner. After 2 weeks she returned feeling unwell this was upped to 100mg, then shortly afterwards to 150mg. On even the lowest dose she immediately experienced extreme night sweats, restlessness and difficulty sleeping. She also became withdrawn from loved ones, snappy and cold. She looked drugged. She started self-medicating with excessive alcohol and cannabis and developed hypomania. After 6 weeks, during which she left her home and long-term partner, she called the police for help and was detained in the local psychiatric hospital. They put her through cold turkey on all substances. After a week they started her on 75mg Quetiapine per day plus Lorazepam and Zopliclone as they felt her state of mind required. After 3 weeks she was released with multiple boxes of all 3 drugs. She was still remote from us. After a week of clean-living with us (parents and sister) during which she began to taper the Quetiapine and didn't take the other medication, she left home claiming she needed to recover in her own way and resumed alcohol and cannabis misuse. Two weeks later she is detained in the psychiatric hospital again, very withdrawn and with signs of delusional beliefs. On admittance she tested positive for Cannabis and Lorazepam. They have resumed 75mg Quetiapine and, after a spell of disruptive behaviour, Lorazepam. She is currently in isolation with a permanent staff member having become violent and is not engaging with anyone. Her father and I have not succeeded in convincing the hospital doctors that the Sertraline prescription lay at the root of all this. We have repeatedlyreasserted the precise timing of the onset of her problems and have referred them to this site, to The British Journal of Psychiatry <http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/195/3/211>and to Katinka Blackford Newman's "The Pill That Steals Lives". One consultant is convinced that cannabis is entirely to blame despite being told that she has used it (and alcohol) previously without the ill effects.The chief consultant is looking for signs of underlying mental illness as the root cause of her problems. If anyone has ideas ideas on persuading clinicians I would be grateful. The main questions I have at the moment are: Given that she has shown extreme sensitivity to SSRIs, how dangerous for her are the Quetiapine and Lorazepam she is currently being given? It's likely that she will be started on another antipsychotic but neither she nor I will be consulted about this beforehand, so the question really extends to psychotropic drugs in general. Is it possible to tease out the effect of the Sertraline from the effects of the subsequent cannabis and alcohol use? How likely or possible is it that she had a latent, unsymptomatic mental illness that was triggered by the SSRI? Thank you for any advice. QueenieRose
  8. I have been tapering of seroquel. I took 1/8 of a 300mg tablet for a while, then more recently I made a 20% cut on the span of 1week and a half, I realized I went a bit too far, too quickly, this gives me around 30mg of active substance. I've pushed a bit too far because I've not been sleeping well for about 2 weeks, These last days I'm only getting a good night sleep after about 3/4 nights sleeping badly (I guess I become too tired and then it's easier to sleep better). It took me about 1week and a half to get kind of used to a 15% cut (that was 3weeks and a half ago) but then trying to speed up the process I've cut 5% more which led me to not sleeping well for these 2 weeks, not sleeping well means sleeping 4/6 hours. About a year ago when I started tapering I was sleeping an average of 12 hours and still waking up tired, and wanting to sleep more. Then after tapering a bit I started to be comfortable with 10h of sleep. Now these past 2 weeks I've been sleeping 4-6 hours, I feel like I now can endure sleeping for a low quantity of time much better but still feel like sleeping 4-6 hours isn't enough for me to be on my normal self. I have been using a digital scale to measure the taper: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00NGBQGOY/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I cut a 300mg (active substance) seroquel tablet until it gives me around 123mg (approximately 30mg of active substance) I have two questions: - I cut the tablet until it gives me around 123mg, I'm not using capsules, I just swallow the small pieces with water. Is there a problem with this? Is it necessary to be using capsules? - Should I back my taper to 15% again?
  9. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  10. Hello everyone. I want to quite meds, but I am not sure which drug I should taper first. Here’s the short history of my meds. I was put on drugs (ADs and neuroleptics) in March of 2017 during detox from alcohol. I had the acute withdrawal symptoms: tremors, agitation, suicidal thoughts etc. I was hospitalized and doctor prescribed me Tofisopam (Emandaxin, Grandaxin, Sériel), Carbamazepine and Phenibut. After 2 weeks I got worse and another doctor put me on Amitriptyline (1 tab - 25 mg – 3 times a day). My reaction was bad and after some time they changed it with Emoxypine and Sulpiridum (Sulpirid). After 7 days prescription was changed again. I was suggested to take Prozak (20 mg once a day). The reaction on Prozak was terrible (suicidal behavior, tremor etc.) and the doctor changed Prozak with Trittico (Trazadone) – 150 mg. Then Quetiapine was added. Lately – ¼ of Akineton (Biperiden) twice a day for controlling the side effects of neuroleptic (it helped a bit with tremor). Well, this is the story. I’d like to add that I had no idea about SSRI’s, neuroleptics and other psychotropic drugs, so I was taking them very carelessly. Tofisopam, Carbamazepine, Emoxypine, Sulpiridum, Prozak - all these drugs I stopped without tapering. Now I am taking: Trittico (Trazadone) – 150 mg Quetiapine – 25 mg (last week I decreased it from 50 mg) Akineton (Biperiden) - 1 mg I am suffering from severe agitation and tremors (it is a bit better after adding Akineton). Sometimes I am also feeling exhausted, dizzy. I was planning first to quit neuroleptic (Quetiapine), because of the risk profile. But it seems that Trazadone is the cause of agitation, which is disturbing me very much. What should I do now? Please, help me.
  11. Hello! I have been following this forum for a while, but haven't been able to find time and energy to write my own introduction. I found this site after searching relentlessly for other answers to mental wellness besides antidepressants. Besides lots of other informative books I read Whitaker's "Anatomy of Epidemics", and understood better what happened to me last year when I had a big relapse, which I'm still recovering from. Medications didn't help anymore. Things only started improving when I started taking supplements (Daily Essential Nutrients, which is former Empowerplus), and applied gluten free casein free diet. And since then, I have carefully tapered down with medications. But I write briefly about my story from the beginning. I have difficult background and lot's of things I have had to work through psychologically, because my dear mother suffered from severe depression for many years and finally it ended with her suicide in 2002. But I don't go into depths about that, but try to give you general idea of what has happened over the years. It was very hard after her death, and with difficult relationship at the same time, so I ended up taking antidepressants for some time. I was really paranoid about them, and agreed to take only small amount - 10mg citalopram, for like 5-6 months. As time went on, I started to get really bad mood swings myself in 2005. In summer 2006 I ended taking birth control pills I had been taking for 8 years. At the same time there was high pressure at work and another relationship that didn't work out. Few months after quitting the pills, I fell into hole I hadn't even been able to imagine before. Severe depression with even small amount of psychotic symptoms (delusional guilt thoughts). It was really, really bad. There was a psychiatrist, that put me on citalopram "because it worked before". 40g, which, in hindsight, was really high and I probably suffered a lot from not only the illness, but AD side-effects. I didn't really feel that the pills were helping, although after a few months I was out from the most awful state of mind. I continued to take the meds for some months, but then dropped it - I just didn't want to take them (I saw my mom deteriorating on AD-s, and didn't believe in them). But I was not the same after this crisis. I'd lost something in me. And as time went on, I started to sink down again. Until in 2008 (3 years suffering), it was so bad that I had no other way than to search for help again. I started cognitive-behavioural therapy, and did it vigorously, but it didn't help. And then I started meds again. After first tries that didn't work, I started prozac (20mg) - and it's effect was amazing and very strong!!! I got flashes and glimpses of my warm and good memories, I felt like a ton had fallen from my shoulders, it was quite dramatic improvement. I continued to get better gradually for at least a year. I felt that I gained about 80% of my wellness. As things were going well, I thought it's ok to stop them now. I was still very wary about taking those drugs long term. I gradually stopped it, I think during 1-2 months. I remember I had withdrawal (feeling very angry and irritated), but pushed through it. I had learned a lot in therapy and thought I can handle myself. I was really emotional after ending it, cried a lot and it put a strain on my new relationship. After a couple of months I was really going down again, I felt really bad, depressed, awful, and anxious about the relationship. my pdoc restarted prozac. It didn't work anymore! It was awful... to realize that the drug doesn't help anymore. We tried duloxetine, which gave bad side-effects. and then sertraline (zoloft), which, after 3-4 weeks started giving relief. So the dynamics was such: I stopped the drug, restarted it about 4 months later, waited for 5 weeks, then started new one (1-2 weeks), and then new one, which eventually started to work. The relationship still ended though, after a few more months. I didn't fall into pieces after that, although it was hard. 2009-2011 I was on Zoloft then (50mg). Looking back, things were more stable. not perfect, but I was able to live my life. In July-August 2011, I was in love, and thought I could do better if I reduced my antidepressant. I took 3/4 pill for a week and then half, since the beginning of August. By the end of August I was quite a mess. I didn't think about meds at all because I was dealing with relationship and I thought this all is psychological, and due to past traumas and my own illness, etc. I felt very raw psychological pain at this time, and it took a long time to get out of this hole - I remember hurting like hell all autumn. And we (me and psychiatrist) started messing with meds. I think at first we upped zoloft, to 1,5 tablets (75mg). I think it didn't help - therefore we switched me to citalopram. I think first at 1 tablet, then 1,5. it helped for a little, but then I think caused me to be very tired and stoned. I think I then reduced it again, and went to 0,5 tablets (somewhere in November). And then, in the end of January 2012 I quit that entirely. I ran out of meds, and then thought, what the hell, I don't want to take them at all. I realized that they were not helping very much, but I totally did NOT realize how much harm they are doing, especially if withdrawing! During all this autumn 2011, I was making intensive progress in therapy, so I attributed a lot of my feelings to psychological things. And at the end, we did quite remarking breakthrough, and I also felt better, so I naturally thought about dropping the pills. I experienced sudden and dramatic IMPROVEMENT in my condition, especially psychologically! I felt alive, sensitive, feeling, lighter, more awake, really connected to life and people and things! wow! I saw very vivid dreams and I swore that I even visually saw more clearly! I did feel also psysical sypmtoms - like dizziness, little nausea. but nothing so bad that I couldn't tolerate. In april, my mood starts swinging. I managed it with lots of meditation, and running, etc. but it continues and gets worse. Until in the end of June - boom - suddenly during a period of one week, I suddenly crashed so deep, it's hard to even describe it. The relapse was very sudden and steep. I deteriorated into suffering which is unimaginable. I had been through very, very painful mental illness periods before, but this was one of the two most awful crisis. and it didn't go away. new pdoc, at first reinstated zoloft, I think. didn't help. then swithed to paroxetine. things only got worse, paroxetine gave me horrible side-effects, besides everything else. then switched to buproprion. didn't help. at all. I ended up in the hospital. they started me on Prozac again. plus 50mg seroquel for sleep. This was in August, last year, 2012. Things actually did not improve after that, or improved really, really little. And I developed hypersomnia - sleeping 14-16 hours a day. But still feeling tired. We increased Prozac to 40mg, but after that I was reluctant to do any more changes. I felt that meds just don't help me anymore. And it proved to be correct, because for 8 months, there was very little improvement (all that time I stayed on 40mg prozac + 50mg seroquel). I started reading about meds. Before that, I had done ALL possible with psychological interventions. CBT, EMDR, intensive therapy, group therapy, ect. all things very helpful for personal growth, but unhelpful for feeling so bad still. now I started reading about meds. And vitamins and minerals. I read Whitaker's book, and finally understand what happened last year - that the horrible condition I ended up with, might be because of ending drugs too abruptly. It helped to give me back some security - at least I understood, what happened, and what almost caused me my life. I also read a lot about vitamins and minerals and mental health. I started taking lots of supplements in March, and noticed small improvement in my hypersomnia. Then I switched to Daily Essential Nutrients (former EmpowerPlus) in April. At the end of April I started tapering down Prozac, by 1/10 amount in month or more time. In June, I started gluten-free-casein-free diet (with the help of nutritional therapist). I have been improving since April. When I started DEN, it made me more tired for a week or so. And then, I think it started detoxification process in my body - I had violent headaches, woke up with swollen face, didn't tolerate alcohol at all (half glass of champagne gave me horrible hangover the next day). But those things passed - I think the headaches stopped completely when I started GFCF diet. My mood has definitely improved, if I look back a couple of months. I don't think about death anymore. I have more concentration, and my memory is better. although I'm not by any means in good shape, I'm out of crisis. My energy has improved more slowly, and hypersomnia as well, but they, too, are improving. There are days now when I can sleep 10 hours, and I'm very glad about it. I'm able to do more things. I think I feel prozac withdrawal after two weeks when I have reduced it. I plan to go in the same pace (4mg down each month) until 20mg, and after that go 2mg/month. and at the same time, reduce also seroquel. Whoah, that was a long story to write down. Thank you for anybody who had the energy to read it through! I have some questions for you, too... - does it also seem to you, that lot's of my problems are drug-induced - withdrawal-induced? - what about illness itself? lots of people here discuss how they were put on AD-s which in hindsight were not needed, and then developed problems. I had small depression even before drugs. after my moms death I was on low dosage and for little time (half a year). And I did have bad trauma in my life. My mood swings and depressions were bad without AD-s... - my first biggest crash coincided with quitting baby pills (hormones). I have long suspected there was a link. I think I was sensitive to chemical changes, and the stress and traumas had built up, but my body couldn't handle it anymore. I also think taking long time baby pills can deplete the body from some important vitamins/minerals, and cause biochemical mess in the body. I think I will have more questions down the way. It's nice to finally write and introduce myself to you!
  12. Hello mates, My GF is addicted to seroquel (the extended relesead version) since 2010. In 2010 she had a severe insomnia problem.Seroquel was the only med that made her sleep after 4 days without any hour of sleep. Since that time, insomnia as became a problem. She was on 100-200 (100mg: if she was sleeping well; 200mg: if she was with sleeping problems) Since a year ago, she he is mainly on 75mg. We are thinking that, the insomnia problem is now because of seroquel. Can it be? I think this med destroys the quality of sleep. How to withdrawal the XR version? People who have quit seroquel can now sleep well? (Sorry for my English) Thank you
  13. Hello, I did a relatively quick taper from Lexapro using 1 mg per week water titration from 10mg with my final dose mid-November. Acute withdrawals lasted a couple weeks then subsided. Around Christmas the weeping and depression set in with a vengeance. At the same time insomnia started. I could not sleep unless I took 50mg of Seroquel. i am still battling the insomnia but ironically last night I slept 7 hours without having to take meds. Today is my 5th day of reinstatement on 5mg of Lexapro. Seroquel as stopped a week ago and replaced with Ambien, which I have not taken for 2 days. The insomnia is taking it's toll on me. My T3 thyroid is starting to go low, I am having cold temperature intolerances, hair is falling out, strange "feelings" in my hands and legs from time to time, and inability to relax or make myself comfortable. It's like I am always in a restless state. Since I have reinstated the weird feeling in my hands and legs are subsiding and are more flair up in nature. I felt relaxed when I woke up this morning and when I layed down last night. I do have the typical startup anxiety/tiredness that is all too familiar. the head fog is very bad also. How long will I know whether or not this reinstatement is going to work? Also, how long should I stay at 5 mg before I go to 10 mg and plan to hold there? I did not want to reinstate but the insomnia will put me to an early grave if I do not get it under control. Dr. Shipko's blog also scared the crap out of me. If I would have read that back at the end of last year, I would have never goin off in the first place.
  14. Hello and thank you in advance for any help and support you can give me. I'm struggling, but I'll try to make it brief. I am 44 yrs old.I was diagnosed Bipolar II in June 2015 after an extremely stressful few years that led to a breakdown. It's been almost two years and I have tried 9 different drugs in various cocktails. (Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin, Klonopin, one that starts with an A that I can't remember, and another that I can't remember at all.) I told my pdoc from the outset that I am very, very sensitive to all medications. Most of the medications didn't work due to awful side effects or the medication just not metabolizing like it does in people that it helps. So, in a nutshell, there has been no improvement in the two years since I started meds. I feel...different, but in no way better. For over a year now, I have been suffering with this horrible, horrible, horrible feeling where everyday, on and off all day, I will get a wave of high anxiety that lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes, and that is followed by a very brief wave of almost euphoria that lasts about 15 seconds and then I feel just "normal" anxiety/depression until the next wave. This is a terrifying and exhausting way to live and it seems to be cyclical which makes me think it's the medication. I have an extremely difficult time waking up in the morning (Seroquel) and can't even get out of bed no matter hard I try before 10a.m. I'm groggy and not even functional for a good hour or two. Around 1 in the afternoon, the first waves begin to hit. They are more mild at that time. Then it peaks around 6-8p.m. and then is more mild again until I go to bed. My symptoms are also affected by my menstrual cycle. A few days before my period I am usually hypomanic and the week after my period is a nightmare of depression/anxiety and derealization. (The derealization is the WORST.) In March 2017, I started a low carbohydrate diet to feel physically healthier. I think this is relevant because holistic therapy often supports a low carbohydrate, whole foods approach. My pdoc doesn't think it has any effect, but I feel physically healthier, so I want to stick with it. As you can see in my signature, I know that I am tapering too quickly. I know it's counterproductive, but I am just SO SO desperate to make the daily waves stop. It is exhausting and terrifying and I just can't take it anymore. I feel like these meds are poison in my veins. I am less functional now than I ever was. I have tapered off the Gabapentin and lowered the Lamictal on May 10th. I have felt no different. Not better. Not worse. Last evening, I decreased the Seroquel from 300 to 275 and today I feel pretty awful. Anxious, racing thoughts, and derealization (not altogether here). I have used the Klonopin on and off over the last two years, taking it I'd say an average of a few times a months .5 - 1mg/day. Usually preventative for things I know will cause anxiety or if I'm having a difficult time falling asleep. I'm just not sure where to go from here. The Seroquel is going to be the hardest, I know. When my pdoc prescribed it, I had horrible side effects within 1 week, she stopped it, and I went off the rails, so she put me back on it at a lower dose and upped it slowly. But the more I research, the more I feel like it's the meds causing most of my problems. I tried to keep this organized. If you got this far, thank you for sticking with me. I just need someone to shake me and talk some sense into me. Lol.
  15. ADMIN NOTE See ang's Intro topic with her earlier history here ☼ ang: help and confidence needed Hello Altostrata and friends. I now believe I am a success story. I am working, contributing and ENJOYING life again. I am 58, so I am grateful that I can enjoy maybe a few more years of my life. From the amount of drugs I was on, this is a miracle. Took me I would say, many years. Mistakes I made, so, so many, ........then in desperation .......... I found this wonderful lifeline Surviving Antidepressants. The pharma fraud, and psychiatric fraud, and $$$$ made destroying lives on these poisons, I can never forgive. I have not been able to update my own timeline, as I have been so happily busy. I do, however, wish to write my survival story, maybe in 6 months, when I am permanent in my job, and will update with all the things I have done in the last 6 months. Just wanted to say, is hard to revisit this site, remembering how ill and desperate I was. But I will, and I will contribute when I can. Yes, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, for me the agony waxed and waned for a couple of years. Keep up the fight, never give in. Happy Easter Everyone. I am so hoping you may be able to enjoy, but I know how ill I have been, and family and friends were just too much to cope with. This easter, I cant WAIT to see my grandkids and family. Yes the brain recovers from these poisons. Cheers Ang
  16. Aria's recovery from poly drugs. I had no idea when I walked into a psychiatrist's office 25 yrs ago the horrible labyrinth I'd entered. Slam dunked at a point in my life when I was feeling low and the loss of future possibilities taken away. Being told I was mentally ill, would never function again, needed to be on disability and poly drugged for the rest of my life repeatedly took it's toll. All this impacted my relationships with family, friends and enjoying life. The pdoc constantly added new psych drugs, changed doses and took me off the old drugs at an alarming rate. I became a morbidly obese woman who mumbled or talked rapidly and it was obvious to everyone but the pdoc I was totally messed up on something. I had Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis that landed me in the hospital for quite awhile and my pdoc put in my open med chart I was crazy. I didn't know this till later but ill as I was I did notice some of my physicians were treating me oddly. One good thing about being so ill was I referred to a neurologist for chronic pain and found out my problem was profound drug induced Akathsia. This neurologist actually screamed at me, these psych drugs are killing you, they're killing you. I knew I had to get off these drugs not matter what it took and reclaim my life. At my next appointment I asked my psychiatrist why he was drugging me like this and he looked directly at me (probably for the first time in years he saw "me"). He started sobbing, loudly sobbing, "Oh God what have I done to you", over and over. I'm sitting there thinking oh crap, I don't need this. Our 15 minute med check was up and this guy calmly goes to the front desk to get the next patient and proceeds without any other fanfare. He's robot. A robot. All this in itself was mind boggling. Hell, closure?? No way. I found out I had Tardive Dyskinesia and a few other psych drug induced issues. My face was a road map with twitches and jerking that yelled hey, I'm on massive psychiatric drugs. Will my face be like this forever?? The TD has mostly gone away and I'm so grateful (the pdoc adamantly said I did not have Tardive Dyskinesia from psych drugs). Well, guess what?? The psychiatrist was wrong...horribly wrong. Other doctors, psychiatrist, therapists said you're not mentally ill and never had been. The sad but very scarey part is I'm labeled as profoundly mentally ill and that info is in my medical charts. One pdoc did this...one. I've gone through the gambit of emotions dealing with this. I will probably always be mad at this jerk for what he did to me and for what he still does to others. It affected years of my life and he was wrong. I'm a Success Story because I'm psych drug free and have been for several years. My journey was extremely difficult and I did it on my own hit or miss tapering off numerous psychiatric drugs. I endured drug withdrawals that paralyzed me month after month. Was it worth the hell of tapering? Yes, very much yes. My reward was my clarity of mind, my passions for life returned and I have hopes for my future. I mended fences with family and have made new friends. I strive everyday to be productive. I'm me but a different me because no one could go through all this and not be changed by it. (for more in-depth conversations about my struggles, coping and self awareness with surviving psychiatry please visit my ongoing thread Aria's Psych Journey http://survivinganti...psych-journey/)
  17. I know this is a huge and debatable topic, but can someone please provide me with some comfort regarding akathisia. I've had it from starting antipsychotics. I always got off of them fast. But after taking Seroquel for over 10 years (and it never gave me akathisia before) I am now having akathisia that is not going away even being without the med. I quit Seroquel cold turkey in November of 2016 (about 7 months ago). I was basically off of it for four months. I have taken it off and on since March. But the akathisia has just begun. I was also in the hospital and they recently messed with my meds. Just looking for experiences and assurance that it will eventually stop. Thanks everyone.
  18. Hello to all you brave souls out there who want psych off drugs. I have been in the mental health system for 10 years, and most of it was because of akathisia related problems that doctors will throw shade at as not happening. The only drug that has allowed me to live akathisia free that I have tried is Seroquel. I haven't been successful at tapering, and started going down by percentages only in the last few years. I have to go 3% because 10% is too fast. I have got nutritional tests (NutrEval and spectra cell) for the past two years that confirm what this article is saying: http://www.optimallivingdynamics.com/blog/7-important-nutrients-depleted-by-psychiatric-drugs-antidepressants-antipsychotics-stimulants-benzodiazepines-induced-guide-vitamins-medications I am going through all my old hospital records to look at what I have forgotten. In 2008 I was put on Celexa and they gave me Inderal for my "presumed" akathisia. I have forgotten most of 2008, but these records are making me mad. They are so arrogant deny the torture that is right in front of them. I respond very badly to these drugs. I will eventually have a list like most of you have that details your med history. If you are tapering off Seroquel or have been tortured by akathisia please message me. If you are going through akathisia right now, please, DON'T LET THEM DRIVE YOU CRAZY!!! It is really happening to you and it has to be stopped. I don't know what else to write right now. I hope you look into basic nutrition as a way to feel better.
  19. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  20. Hello all, I have never posted on a discussion forum such as this. But I googled "Alternative to Meds Center" and this discussion forum came up. It is quite amazing how hard it is to find information on an institution that claims to have helped over a thousand people. I'm glad I came here, though. I had a lot of issues with Paxil last year, a popular and powerful SSRI. And for the the men who were on it or have been on it, they know the dark world (and terrible side effect) on being on such a drug as Paxil. But, getting off it, was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was at college while I was trying to get of it, and for the third time had to drop out because of this terrible psychoactive drug. I actually tried to kill myself because of how hard it was to get off of it. I did a prescription overdose, which knocked me out for 3 days. Surprisingly, I woke up. The cocktail I OD'd contained Paxil, Zyprexa, Seroquel, and Gabapentin- I had in total about 200 pills. The reason I had that many was because I had been stockpiling them for a while in my medicine cabinet. Paxil, though claiming to help with OCD, actually made mine much worse. This was causing me to check and recheck things, constantly think about the same thing over and over again, and cause me to store unneeded things. Part of me thinks now, though, that I was subconsciously planning this suicide attempt. Maybe I was stockpiling because these drugs were making my life a living hell. I only survived because I had kept my apartment door unlocked. A neighbor, who saw me the day before, had a slight hesitation something was wrong with me- she also knew I had a psychiatric history. That night, after I had been laying there (she thinks 4 hours), she opened the door- which she has never done before- and found me there, unconscious. I was rushed to the hospital, in a coma 4 days, and eventually woke up. After 4 days of being awake, I was committed to a psych ward in Hartford, CT. For the first three days there, I was still in a limbo. I could barely put on my socks or brush my teeth. The nurses had to come to my room to give me my meds, which I was sure was the same as before my overdose. On the fourth day, which was my 24th birthday, I was finally able to make coherent thoughts. So, that day, I went to the Med window and asked for my meds. To my amazement, I was only on Seroquel and Gabapentin. There was a great joy for a second, and then I thought- what the heck? Well, it seems as if because i was in a coma (without paxil) for three straight days, the doctors didn't think it necessary to put me back on it. I was in the psych ward for about 10 days total. But, skip forward a bit less than a year, and man, I am experiencing so many issues. The worst one is insomnia- since then, I had to go to the ER and a psych ward for insomnia. I didn't sleep for 17 days once. The result was putting me on more Seroquel and Gabapentin. Now, I am tapering those two- because, they are finding a lot of these psychoactive drugs increase CK levels, which produce so many debilitating effects. Today, I researched places out there to get me off them- I'm glad I came here. It seems as if the Alternative to Meds Center isn't the place they catalog it to be. I actually talked to them a few months ago and found they didn't even have an MD working there. I haven't been a big fan to psychiatrists for the past couple of years, but if you don't have an MD at a place that deals with the powerful withdrawal effect as Paxil or Seroquel, something smells very fishy. Then Reading DrugFreeProf's account with her daughter made me even more hesitant to go. It seems these stories keep popping up about this place- about how the 24/7 care isn't actually there. I haven't read everyone's posts, but was wondering if anyone has heard of different programs out there- I am still trying to go to a residential program, but it does not seem that most programs are aimed at getting people off of meds- they are aimed putting you on meds. At least, that is what I have seen or heard. Any comments, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening and God Bless. - Miller
  21. Hi All This site has been a great source of help to me over the last few weeks of withdrawal, so thank you. I have given up drink after a long battle during which I became co addicted to codeine and valium on and off. I have been clean and sober for 2 years. In 1997 I was first prescribed Seroxat. I then switched to Citalopram (Celexa). A total of 17 years on SSRi's. I have tried to stop the AD many times but have always gone back on them. The original diagnosis was anxiety and depression. Linked no doubt to my alcohol abuse from early teens to my mid 50's. I am male aged 56. I tried stop AD many times but always went back on them. I tried to taper in early march this year and started again. Finally after a fast taper 3 weeks from 10mg to 0. I got liquid citalopram and reduced by 10% per day!. Yes far too fast. I did have withdrawals from 2.5mg. Dizzy Nauseous Flu like sysmptoms extreme fatigue moved head and eyes would follow later waves of depression Tinnitus. These symptoms started to ease after 10 days. Except Tinnitus and fuzzy head. I was then hit with Insommnia at Day 10 I have had a couple of good nights sleep. However last night as an example; Fell asleep within seconds whilst reading. About an hour later I get a surge of adrenalin (cortisol) and I am awake. Dozed til 4am, then further surges of adrenalin every few minute for 2 hours. Further dozing til 9am. I then get up more tired than when I went to bed. I have tried all suggestions on this site to no avail. I even do a complete full body relaxation and mediatation on headphones. I have this back ground tension that stops me sleeping. I recognise it as withdrawal. I do abdominal breathing and try and rest. Get up walk around if needed. I have a sleep pedometer and it recorded me awakening 26 times last night!!! I had cancer and chemo last year and I worry all this stress cortisol is not doing me any good Hay ho day at a time this too shall pass. I am day 18 with no AD after 17 years use, so cannot expect miracles. Good luck to you all.
  22. Hello everyone! I joined this forum because I'm in trouble. I really am. My life took a turn for the worse and I'm stuck into a real nightmare that keeps torturing me in the same fashion, every day. I started taking psychodrugs in order to deal with a strange insomnia that actually hit me out of the blue. The only apparent cause I was able to find was a recent antibiotic therapy with a drug (Levofloxacin) known to cause symptoms of anxiety and mental hyper arousal in predisposed people and mimicking benzo withdrawal. Such an unexpected side effect would have taken a toll on me if it hadn't been for sedative drugs, so that's why I started taking them. I am relying on them to lead a somewhat normal life. Or something that resembles one. Just pointing this out, I never had any mental issues before. I was prescribed a benzo to deal with insomnia and was on Klonopin for six months. I successfully withdrew from it with a slow taper, since it became ineffective in just a couple of weeks... I have been on 80 mg of Trazodone for about one year and 17.75 of Quetiapine for five months now. I'm on the combination of both now since Trazodone alone wasn't providing me more than 3 hours of sleep. And Quetiapine alone causes me a helpless depression... If I take them together at nighttime I actually can sleep for 7 solid hours. However, something is definitely wrong with these drugs. I'm scared of what they are doing to my brain and my body. I have chronic strange vibrating feelings all over my body, but mostly in my legs. They ache, all day long. My body feels hot and I'm very heat intolerant. My joint aches a lot, especially my ankles, and when I use them a lot my wrists. My feet tingle, burn, sometimes are numb and I have mild pin and needles sensations. Not to mention the strange vibrating feelings in my mouth, in the gums, like someone is trying to electrocute me! I get them with no apparent reason, and prevent me from relaxing spontaneously. Like I was always on an adrenaline rush. And, of course, taking the drugs is the only thing that stops them... I can't relax on my own, I always need a chemical help. It's virtually impossible to stop these vibrating feelings if I don't take the meds. I'm almost comatose in the morning, I just can't think straight and it takes me hours to be able to 'think' and reason again. I sleep well but I always have very vivid dreams when the drugs are wearing off. It's hard to tell if I'm awake or just dreaming, it feels like I'm thinking at an unnatural speed. I have no control over my thoughts, anyway. In addition, I always been very smart and with Quetiapine I just feel retarded. I can't think it straight. Then, all of a sudden, in the late afternoon, I feel like someone came to unchain my mind, and I start thinking so fast i can't focus on anything, I feel like thins are moving too quickly and my body aches even more. I've always been taking the drugs at the tiniest effective dose and I don't want to take more during the day. I start easily, I can feel a rush of electricity in my body at every sound and I just can't calm down. It's not even anxiety. I never got a panic attack. Sounds more like hyperactivity and restlessness! I've tried to withdraw from Trazodone but taking less than 50 mg caused me to burst into tears and feel absolutely hopeless. I'm on a paleo diet right now, high in berries, fresh fruit and organic lean meat, I take zinc, magnesium, potassium, as well as probiotics and colostrum since I have been diagnosed with a bad form of leaky gut and chronic body inflammation, but they proved to be unable to prevent these relapses and these odd pains. Is really such a tiny dose of Quetiapine causing this? It shouldn't even affect my dopamine receptors at that dose, should it? Are my issues caused by noradrenaline instead? I'm I'm only 25, I don't want to spend the rest of my life on drugs that are doing more harm than good.
  23. I dropped my Prozac from 15 mg to 10 mg back on March 10th. It's now June 3rd, and after having been through a few weeks of tears, jitters, anxiety, and dysphoria, the sexual dysfunction has finally kicked in. My sex drive has absolutely plummeted (which honestly I'm happy about). I've been suffering from genital numbing, poor/weak erections, difficulty climaxing, and then last night, a "muted" orgasm. It was just a series of muscle contractions without the associated pleasure. It's kind of gross without it, to be honest. I'm actually glad this has happened for two reasons. My doctor has told me that my withdrawal was "over" two weeks ago, and yet this has only just happened now, so this is evidence that I'm right that it persists. I've struggled with hypersexuality and a preoccupation with obsessive thoughts about sex since I was put on the drug at 19, although I never knew it was the Prozac. I thought it was me. To have my sex drive taken from me is a huge relief. No more compulsive thoughts about women, no more outrageous flirting, no more seeking to bolster my self-esteem by sleeping with women. I might want it back some day (I'm perpetually single) but right now it's like removing a splinter in my mind that's been driving me mad. Fleeing
  24. Hi, I'll try to keep this short so I don't bore people too much. I suffer from some serious depression. Was recently diagnosed as schizophrenic but as you seem to know psychiatrists are really crappy professionals so that's not what I have for sure (even my psychologist was very admired when he found I was diagnosed with this). My life has been pretty much a big pile of **** since my early teens (since I was 12). Fast forward to my days in college which I was hoping would make me better but ended up being a living hell that just made things worse, I started to contemplate that it was just better to give up, I was miserable for too long, I think the only thing that kept me from doing it was not to have access to an easy way to. Some more years, and finally at 33 I unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide, after being two days unconscious after an overdose of pills inside my car parked in a hidden place, I was finally found by my mother (police couldn't find me and did an awful job) and brought to the hospital. Luckily the damages weren't too big, the fingers on my left hand were seriously damaged (I'll never be a surgeon or a guitar player), I almost lost one of my fingers do to extreme heat and also lost some hair but through an expensive surgery managed to recover most of it. My biggest dream is to be in a solid relationship with a woman that I love and that loves me back, create a wonderful future together, grow together and mutually help each other to live fulfilling lifes, probably have a family, and if I ever recover give back to others who may suffer from a similar situation. I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I even ever kissed a woman (without having to pay for it). Unfortunately the woman that I love is married, I found this out after 1 year of knowing her. She seems sometimes interested in me but other times I'm just invisible to her. when those times happen I just feel like it would be better if no one had found me in that car so I would finally be released of this nightmare. After the suicide attempt, that unfortunately she ended up knowing (she works at the hospital), her relationship with me has been seriously damaged (not that it was that great before).. I guess she got scared because she knows I love her. I've tried meeting other girls but it seems like there aren't any interesting, available woman. here, in this hellhole. Nothing really seems to make me happy apart from the few times I can connect with her, I kind of am kinda of OK during the week but then about 2 times a week I feel really down and awful, like I'm feeling today, one of those days where I seem to be invisible to her. I know I don't have much of a chance with her even though she doesn't have any kids, she still has a long term, serious, relationship. My biggest friends are mostly away, the ones that are closer I just don't seem to have a good connection with them. Maybe because they are younger than me, I also feel that they don't really like me, that I'm not part of the group. I can't work too much, I've recently been fired of a great working place: currently one of the top java companies. I was fired because during the times I've felt really depressed,I wasn't able to work properly. I've tried various psychologists and various psychiatrists but nothing seems to work or make me any better, only lost money and felt worse. About one year ago I've started tapering off my meds since they were just making me feel worse: slept too much, was getting fat, was feeling tired, etc.. Also quit with my psychologist since it wasn't making me feel any better and I was just losing money. I'm not a religious person or will ever be because I don't believe in it so that won't help me either. I'm 36 and still live with my mother. I'm a total failure and don't believe I belong in this world or that this world wants me in it. I don't believe I will ever be happy..
  25. Gave up antidepressants 4 months ago, using what I thought was a long and careful descent. (I cut down over about three months I think, apologies still a bit muddled). After reading your comments I now realise that it can take years, not months to reduce. I have no reason to be depressed (apart from the loss of everything financial in my life, and guilt feelings, over that). And realisations that my whole personality has been changed by these drugs for years now. Must mean I am finally getting my brain back, which is promising. I was not prepared for effects of the drugs and withdrawals to hit four months after stopping them. I now anticipate a year to get better... But others say it can take a lot longer. Can anyone advise me? Will my symptoms get worse before they get better? I do feel it is now too late to start taking them again, as I know that starting over again can be horrific, been there, done that. Dont want to go down that path again. I kept taking a small amount of seroquol, to help with the panic attacks. I find now, even a tiny amount makes me terribly sleepy. Am taking St Johns Wort, Vit B, fish oil capsules, zinc. And trying to eat eggs (for whatever is found in the egg yolk). I now think I need to give away the seroquol, as I have been taking small doses, very erratically, and I have no way of knowing if this is making things worse. Seroquol always seemed fine for me, but now I wonder.