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Hey guys, i cannot believe it but it has been exactly one year since I started losing my feelings. In these past 12 months I've felt more emotional pain than I'd ever thought I'd have to. It's definitely been the strangest year of my life. I'm still not right. I will go through phases where I'll start to feel something and think okay finally I'm getting better, and then the next week will be back to square one and not even really wanting to be around my boyfriend. We had an amazing 10 months together and then I lost my feelings. While it's gone by fairly fast, I still feel like the days are dragging. I need reassurance that this will get better. </3 I can barely eat or sleep, I just wanna feel happiness again. It's horrible. I was only on the pills for 9 months and then I quit cold turkey. Should I be disappointed that it's been a year and I still don't feel like I love him? Thanks so much in advance.
What do you do when the people closest to you don't understand what you are going through? Or how the things they ask of you affect you? My wife fluctuates between being totally loving and supportive, to just not understanding what I am dealing with at all. For instance, she just texted me now (I'm at work, which is a whole level of suffering during withdrawal all its own, as most of you know). She wants me to stop on my way home at her sister's house to pick up some leftovers. But my commute - which is long and can have heavy traffic if I don;t time it perfectly - is one of my key stress triggers. So making a variation in it is filling me with dread. My heart is starting to race! Also, what if her sister wants to engage in conversation? Conversation is another stress trigger for me! And after I disappear only 2 hours into the family Easter party (due to huge anxiety), she's probably full of questions (we haven't really told her what's going on). I don't get it. One minute, my wife is the most sympathetic person in the world, but then she gets tunnel vision and thinks I should just deal. I can't say no to getting the food, because that could trigger an argument - talk about stress then! So what do you guys do when you are faced with people not understanding what you are going through? Is there a video we can show them? SJ
RivkaE posted a topic in Introductions and updatesI am now in my seventh month of protracted withdrawal syndrome (I had to go cold turkey because of sub-acute serotonin syndrome --mostly parkinsonism and brain fog erupting into a lethal level of high blood pressure and analphylaxis -- new one!). I am now worse than I was last winter when I was bedridden. Biggest problems all center around my autonomic nervous system -- sleeping, eating, blood pressure, neuropathies, as well as a deep depression. Of course, I have had a lifetime of major depressive disorder -- but I really fought my way through it. I was fun, funny, and high achieving! I am now for the first time emotionally numb (can't even cry). For the past ten years I was depressed and on increasing doses of meds (why I am here) but got by (and actually excelled at some things, like my teaching) until I became ill. I am now on disability and can't imagine working again. I had been obsessed with suicide for several months. Can't do it -- I have a beautiful adult son and a loving husband. I also have a lovely home I now can barely leave. So the big question is, how do people experiencing this find hope, strength, things they can do, and and a life to live? I also feel so shunned -- by friends and even doctors! Have some great stalwarts by my side, but I really can't do much now. My life has turned into the couch for the most part I would so appreciate encouraging and kind words! (Silver lining -- my new appreciation for kind, good people!)