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  1. Hi all, just been given a prescription of Gabapentin today to help me with pain/sleep as Diazepam/Temazepam/ higher doses of Seroquel doing nothing for the latter - have histamine intolerance though, thus came across this site and these posts [in undiagnosed1's introduction topic]. May I ask does Gabapentin decrease or increase histamine? It's unclear. Look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. S
  2. Hi. I heard this forum will help with other meds besides anti-depressants. I got off of those years ago but probably did myself some damage in the process. I put in a signature so you can see how I got here and where I am. I was so tired from lack of sleep that I was just taking whatever the nurse or doctor said without thinking it through. Now I'm sleeping 5-6 hours and can think well enough to know that I'm in a bad place from these drugs and need to get off. My biggest problem now is sedation/depression. I cannot drive most days. I've lost my job and most of my friends. I used to be much more active but now can't even walk around the block. I also have a lot of anxiety but not sure if it's life circumstances or meds or both. I can't figure out where to start. I'm losing hope that I will ever get better. I do think I got much worse when I started the gabapentin. Actually, I'd say the anxiety got better but the sedation and depression and feeling hopeless got worse. I don't know where to start but I figure I'm not going to ask my doctor for a plan given what happened with the anti-depressant taper he gave me. I wanted to rip my brain out of my head, it was that bad. Don't ever want to experience that again. But can't stay like I am, either.
  3. Hi. I'm Shep and I'm coming off almost 30 years of taking various drugs to treat bipolar type 1 starting at the age of 17. I think my bipolar mania is treatment induced by AD's and stimulants. Last AD was March 2013. Taken off Vibrydd cold turkey after severe akathisia, agitated depression, and being suicidal. Previously was on Welbutrin and various older tricyclics. Currently suffering from Klonopin withdrawal and trying to get off of Seroquel. Been on over 30 types of pysch drugs. Started off on older AD's, AP's, benzos, and lithium and moved onto SSRI's, mood stabilizers and atypical AP's. Klonopin withdrawal is very hard and I think I hit tolerance after coming off an AD last year. Right now my only medication is 6.25 mg of Seroquel to help me go to sleep. I'm 46 years old and trying to hold onto my current job after going through nearly a year of unemployment after losing a job during AD withdrawal (I was suicidal at work and lost my job). Hoping to find guidance and help here. Thank you. Shep
  4. So I've been on Seroqoil nightly for about 3-4 months. I started on 100mg and that only lasted one night. Went to 75mg and that lasted for a couple of weeks then 50mg. Last month I went down to 25mg. And about 4 wks ago I've been on 12-14mg (cutting the 50 in 1/2 then the half in 1/2.) I'm also taking Lunesta 3mg at no hr and about once a week ill need Klonopin.25 bc I have a hard time falling asleep. I've also started Celexa for anxiety during the day. So question and problem! How do I get off this Seroqoil?!? Like is aid I haven't even taking it long to begin with and I've taped to 12-14mg fine but it seems to mess with my sleep when I try and cut that in half. Don't believe I have the EXtended tablet. Help!!! If it messes with my sleep, is it only temp? I don't want to switch this to get hooked on Klonopin bc that's a nasty drug too!
  5. Hey, everyone. Here's my introduction (I hope it's not too long): In 1994, at 19, I suffered panic attacks from being bullied in school and having cognitive errors in my thinking (perfectionism, negative self talk, etc.) My parents took me to a psychiatrist who told me I had a "chemical imbalance in my brain," prescribed me 80 mg of Prozac a day, and kicked me out the door. I received no therapy and from that day forward saw myself as a mental health patient. This diagnosis changed the course of my entire life. My Prozac took six weeks to kick in, and it brought with it a slew of side effects: generalized anxiety, hypervigilance (constant surveying the world and my body for signs of panic), stomach cramps, and irritable bowel syndrome. Like the proverbial boiling frog who doesn't notice the raising temperature, the side effects eased in to my life so slowly I thought they were a part of me and my "chemical imbalance." In essence I had a paradoxical reaction to the drug: it amplified my existing struggles but I had no idea my medication was the source. I was never told this was possible, nor was I told about the danger of trying to come off. The side effects made work outside the home, socializing, and dating extremely difficult because I was always afraid of the next wave of anxiety that would send me racing to the washroom. I watched my friends grow up and have careers, partners, and families, while I tried to buoy what was left of my self-esteem with self-help books and different therapists, none of who ever questioned the drug or the dosage. After two years of cognitive behavioral therapy to untwist the errors in my thinking, I tried coming off the drug under the supervision of my doctor in 2006 but the initial reduction of 20 mg every two weeks proved to be far too steep. When I reached zero I had a few days of bliss, then an absolute mental collapse. I developed akathisia and was unable to sit still and paced relentlessly and lost control of my emotions. I felt completely hollow and cried for no reason, all the while suffering from unspeakable anxiety. My parents debated admitting me to a hospital but was told that the doctors would check my medication levels then ask me to leave as there would be nothing they could do. I went to my psychiatrist who misdiagnosed my condition not as withdrawal but as depression and anxiety that the Prozac had been treating. Desperate not to lose my mind, I restarted the drug and lost another ten years to side effects. Two years ago I lowered my dose from 40 mg to 30 mg. Three days later I was to meet friends for dinner for as long as my anxiety would allow. I braced myself during the meal for the inevitable tsunami of mental anguish but what I felt instead was a mere ripple. I was stunned, then perplexed. When I realized what was happening and that the drug had been the cause, I burst into tears. Instead of racing home after the meal as I so often had in the past, my friends and I went to a movie. Over the past few months I've been easing off Prozac at 5 mg every six weeks. My quality of life improves with each reduction. My hypervigilance and anxiety all but vanished at 20 mg. At 15 mg I have become more social than I have ever been, and at 10 mg I feel like myself again - sort of. I've been on 10 mg of Prozac since May 9th, and I'm also on 50 mg of Seroquel. I want to get off the Prozac completely but I'm going to stay at 10 mg for at least three months until I know I'm stable. Though most of my anxiety is gone, I had a panic attack last week. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday over how much I've missed out on from the medication and cried through the whole thing. Naturally she was concerned that this might be a relapse of depression/anxiety, but I honestly feel better now than I ever did on the higher dose. So...that's me!
  6. I have started the process of tapering off several medications, so that I can see what my baseline feels like. I have been on medication in one form or another since I was 23, for various health reasons, primarily chronic migraine and major depressive disorder. The list of current medication is as follows, 3600 mg Gabapentin, 150 mg Wellburtin, 25 mg Sequorel, 120 mg Cymbalta. I started my journey of getting clean on July 1/17. Currently I am at the following medication levels, 1800 mg Gabapentin, 150 mg Wellburtin, 90 mg Cymbalta. I have transitioned off the dosage of Sequorel in the last two days. I will be staying on the 150 mg Wellburtin and 60 mg Cymbalta, until I stabilize. How do I feel? Quite terrible, headachy, body aches, extreme nauseau and anxious.
  7. I have been tapering of seroquel. I took 1/8 of a 300mg tablet for a while, then more recently I made a 20% cut on the span of 1week and a half, I realized I went a bit too far, too quickly, this gives me around 30mg of active substance. I've pushed a bit too far because I've not been sleeping well for about 2 weeks, These last days I'm only getting a good night sleep after about 3/4 nights sleeping badly (I guess I become too tired and then it's easier to sleep better). It took me about 1week and a half to get kind of used to a 15% cut (that was 3weeks and a half ago) but then trying to speed up the process I've cut 5% more which led me to not sleeping well for these 2 weeks, not sleeping well means sleeping 4/6 hours. About a year ago when I started tapering I was sleeping an average of 12 hours and still waking up tired, and wanting to sleep more. Then after tapering a bit I started to be comfortable with 10h of sleep. Now these past 2 weeks I've been sleeping 4-6 hours, I feel like I now can endure sleeping for a low quantity of time much better but still feel like sleeping 4-6 hours isn't enough for me to be on my normal self. I have been using a digital scale to measure the taper: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00NGBQGOY/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I cut a 300mg (active substance) seroquel tablet until it gives me around 123mg (approximately 30mg of active substance) I have two questions: - I cut the tablet until it gives me around 123mg, I'm not using capsules, I just swallow the small pieces with water. Is there a problem with this? Is it necessary to be using capsules? - Should I back my taper to 15% again?
  8. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  9. Hello mates, My GF is addicted to seroquel (the extended relesead version) since 2010. In 2010 she had a severe insomnia problem.Seroquel was the only med that made her sleep after 4 days without any hour of sleep. Since that time, insomnia as became a problem. She was on 100-200 (100mg: if she was sleeping well; 200mg: if she was with sleeping problems) Since a year ago, she he is mainly on 75mg. We are thinking that, the insomnia problem is now because of seroquel. Can it be? I think this med destroys the quality of sleep. How to withdrawal the XR version? People who have quit seroquel can now sleep well? (Sorry for my English) Thank you
  10. Hello, I did a relatively quick taper from Lexapro using 1 mg per week water titration from 10mg with my final dose mid-November. Acute withdrawals lasted a couple weeks then subsided. Around Christmas the weeping and depression set in with a vengeance. At the same time insomnia started. I could not sleep unless I took 50mg of Seroquel. i am still battling the insomnia but ironically last night I slept 7 hours without having to take meds. Today is my 5th day of reinstatement on 5mg of Lexapro. Seroquel as stopped a week ago and replaced with Ambien, which I have not taken for 2 days. The insomnia is taking it's toll on me. My T3 thyroid is starting to go low, I am having cold temperature intolerances, hair is falling out, strange "feelings" in my hands and legs from time to time, and inability to relax or make myself comfortable. It's like I am always in a restless state. Since I have reinstated the weird feeling in my hands and legs are subsiding and are more flair up in nature. I felt relaxed when I woke up this morning and when I layed down last night. I do have the typical startup anxiety/tiredness that is all too familiar. the head fog is very bad also. How long will I know whether or not this reinstatement is going to work? Also, how long should I stay at 5 mg before I go to 10 mg and plan to hold there? I did not want to reinstate but the insomnia will put me to an early grave if I do not get it under control. Dr. Shipko's blog also scared the crap out of me. If I would have read that back at the end of last year, I would have never goin off in the first place.
  11. Hello and thank you in advance for any help and support you can give me. I'm struggling, but I'll try to make it brief. I am 44 yrs old.I was diagnosed Bipolar II in June 2015 after an extremely stressful few years that led to a breakdown. It's been almost two years and I have tried 9 different drugs in various cocktails. (Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin, Klonopin, one that starts with an A that I can't remember, and another that I can't remember at all.) I told my pdoc from the outset that I am very, very sensitive to all medications. Most of the medications didn't work due to awful side effects or the medication just not metabolizing like it does in people that it helps. So, in a nutshell, there has been no improvement in the two years since I started meds. I feel...different, but in no way better. For over a year now, I have been suffering with this horrible, horrible, horrible feeling where everyday, on and off all day, I will get a wave of high anxiety that lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes, and that is followed by a very brief wave of almost euphoria that lasts about 15 seconds and then I feel just "normal" anxiety/depression until the next wave. This is a terrifying and exhausting way to live and it seems to be cyclical which makes me think it's the medication. I have an extremely difficult time waking up in the morning (Seroquel) and can't even get out of bed no matter hard I try before 10a.m. I'm groggy and not even functional for a good hour or two. Around 1 in the afternoon, the first waves begin to hit. They are more mild at that time. Then it peaks around 6-8p.m. and then is more mild again until I go to bed. My symptoms are also affected by my menstrual cycle. A few days before my period I am usually hypomanic and the week after my period is a nightmare of depression/anxiety and derealization. (The derealization is the WORST.) In March 2017, I started a low carbohydrate diet to feel physically healthier. I think this is relevant because holistic therapy often supports a low carbohydrate, whole foods approach. My pdoc doesn't think it has any effect, but I feel physically healthier, so I want to stick with it. As you can see in my signature, I know that I am tapering too quickly. I know it's counterproductive, but I am just SO SO desperate to make the daily waves stop. It is exhausting and terrifying and I just can't take it anymore. I feel like these meds are poison in my veins. I am less functional now than I ever was. I have tapered off the Gabapentin and lowered the Lamictal on May 10th. I have felt no different. Not better. Not worse. Last evening, I decreased the Seroquel from 300 to 275 and today I feel pretty awful. Anxious, racing thoughts, and derealization (not altogether here). I have used the Klonopin on and off over the last two years, taking it I'd say an average of a few times a months .5 - 1mg/day. Usually preventative for things I know will cause anxiety or if I'm having a difficult time falling asleep. I'm just not sure where to go from here. The Seroquel is going to be the hardest, I know. When my pdoc prescribed it, I had horrible side effects within 1 week, she stopped it, and I went off the rails, so she put me back on it at a lower dose and upped it slowly. But the more I research, the more I feel like it's the meds causing most of my problems. I tried to keep this organized. If you got this far, thank you for sticking with me. I just need someone to shake me and talk some sense into me. Lol.
  12. ADMIN NOTE See ang's Intro topic with her earlier history here ☼ ang: help and confidence needed Hello Altostrata and friends. I now believe I am a success story. I am working, contributing and ENJOYING life again. I am 58, so I am grateful that I can enjoy maybe a few more years of my life. From the amount of drugs I was on, this is a miracle. Took me I would say, many years. Mistakes I made, so, so many, ........then in desperation .......... I found this wonderful lifeline Surviving Antidepressants. The pharma fraud, and psychiatric fraud, and $$$$ made destroying lives on these poisons, I can never forgive. I have not been able to update my own timeline, as I have been so happily busy. I do, however, wish to write my survival story, maybe in 6 months, when I am permanent in my job, and will update with all the things I have done in the last 6 months. Just wanted to say, is hard to revisit this site, remembering how ill and desperate I was. But I will, and I will contribute when I can. Yes, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, for me the agony waxed and waned for a couple of years. Keep up the fight, never give in. Happy Easter Everyone. I am so hoping you may be able to enjoy, but I know how ill I have been, and family and friends were just too much to cope with. This easter, I cant WAIT to see my grandkids and family. Yes the brain recovers from these poisons. Cheers Ang
  13. Hello, I have been taking Seroquel 300mg for 5+ years and am desperately trying to get off of it due to persistent anhedonia. I've spent the past 4 weeks in a crisis house and managed to reduce my dose to 0 however, the drop from 25mg to 0 has been very difficult. I haven't slept for six nights (since I withdrew) I've managed to get the odd hour here and there in the day but I'm becoming increasingly desperate. I'm trying to get advice from a psychiatrist but because I leave the unit tomorrow I've been discharged from his care and can not access advice. Does anyone know how long this insomnia will last? I know it must vary from person to person but I'm terrified it will endure and have to try to get back to a stressful job very soon. Any advice welcome - thanks. Lily
  14. I know this is a huge and debatable topic, but can someone please provide me with some comfort regarding akathisia. I've had it from starting antipsychotics. I always got off of them fast. But after taking Seroquel for over 10 years (and it never gave me akathisia before) I am now having akathisia that is not going away even being without the med. I quit Seroquel cold turkey in November of 2016 (about 7 months ago). I was basically off of it for four months. I have taken it off and on since March. But the akathisia has just begun. I was also in the hospital and they recently messed with my meds. Just looking for experiences and assurance that it will eventually stop. Thanks everyone.
  15. Hello to all you brave souls out there who want psych off drugs. I have been in the mental health system for 10 years, and most of it was because of akathisia related problems that doctors will throw shade at as not happening. The only drug that has allowed me to live akathisia free that I have tried is Seroquel. I haven't been successful at tapering, and started going down by percentages only in the last few years. I have to go 3% because 10% is too fast. I have got nutritional tests (NutrEval and spectra cell) for the past two years that confirm what this article is saying: http://www.optimallivingdynamics.com/blog/7-important-nutrients-depleted-by-psychiatric-drugs-antidepressants-antipsychotics-stimulants-benzodiazepines-induced-guide-vitamins-medications I am going through all my old hospital records to look at what I have forgotten. In 2008 I was put on Celexa and they gave me Inderal for my "presumed" akathisia. I have forgotten most of 2008, but these records are making me mad. They are so arrogant deny the torture that is right in front of them. I respond very badly to these drugs. I will eventually have a list like most of you have that details your med history. If you are tapering off Seroquel or have been tortured by akathisia please message me. If you are going through akathisia right now, please, DON'T LET THEM DRIVE YOU CRAZY!!! It is really happening to you and it has to be stopped. I don't know what else to write right now. I hope you look into basic nutrition as a way to feel better.
  16. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  17. Hi All This site has been a great source of help to me over the last few weeks of withdrawal, so thank you. I have given up drink after a long battle during which I became co addicted to codeine and valium on and off. I have been clean and sober for 2 years. In 1997 I was first prescribed Seroxat. I then switched to Citalopram (Celexa). A total of 17 years on SSRi's. I have tried to stop the AD many times but have always gone back on them. The original diagnosis was anxiety and depression. Linked no doubt to my alcohol abuse from early teens to my mid 50's. I am male aged 56. I tried stop AD many times but always went back on them. I tried to taper in early march this year and started again. Finally after a fast taper 3 weeks from 10mg to 0. I got liquid citalopram and reduced by 10% per day!. Yes far too fast. I did have withdrawals from 2.5mg. Dizzy Nauseous Flu like sysmptoms extreme fatigue moved head and eyes would follow later waves of depression Tinnitus. These symptoms started to ease after 10 days. Except Tinnitus and fuzzy head. I was then hit with Insommnia at Day 10 I have had a couple of good nights sleep. However last night as an example; Fell asleep within seconds whilst reading. About an hour later I get a surge of adrenalin (cortisol) and I am awake. Dozed til 4am, then further surges of adrenalin every few minute for 2 hours. Further dozing til 9am. I then get up more tired than when I went to bed. I have tried all suggestions on this site to no avail. I even do a complete full body relaxation and mediatation on headphones. I have this back ground tension that stops me sleeping. I recognise it as withdrawal. I do abdominal breathing and try and rest. Get up walk around if needed. I have a sleep pedometer and it recorded me awakening 26 times last night!!! I had cancer and chemo last year and I worry all this stress cortisol is not doing me any good Hay ho day at a time this too shall pass. I am day 18 with no AD after 17 years use, so cannot expect miracles. Good luck to you all.
  18. Hello everyone! I joined this forum because I'm in trouble. I really am. My life took a turn for the worse and I'm stuck into a real nightmare that keeps torturing me in the same fashion, every day. I started taking psychodrugs in order to deal with a strange insomnia that actually hit me out of the blue. The only apparent cause I was able to find was a recent antibiotic therapy with a drug (Levofloxacin) known to cause symptoms of anxiety and mental hyper arousal in predisposed people and mimicking benzo withdrawal. Such an unexpected side effect would have taken a toll on me if it hadn't been for sedative drugs, so that's why I started taking them. I am relying on them to lead a somewhat normal life. Or something that resembles one. Just pointing this out, I never had any mental issues before. I was prescribed a benzo to deal with insomnia and was on Klonopin for six months. I successfully withdrew from it with a slow taper, since it became ineffective in just a couple of weeks... I have been on 80 mg of Trazodone for about one year and 17.75 of Quetiapine for five months now. I'm on the combination of both now since Trazodone alone wasn't providing me more than 3 hours of sleep. And Quetiapine alone causes me a helpless depression... If I take them together at nighttime I actually can sleep for 7 solid hours. However, something is definitely wrong with these drugs. I'm scared of what they are doing to my brain and my body. I have chronic strange vibrating feelings all over my body, but mostly in my legs. They ache, all day long. My body feels hot and I'm very heat intolerant. My joint aches a lot, especially my ankles, and when I use them a lot my wrists. My feet tingle, burn, sometimes are numb and I have mild pin and needles sensations. Not to mention the strange vibrating feelings in my mouth, in the gums, like someone is trying to electrocute me! I get them with no apparent reason, and prevent me from relaxing spontaneously. Like I was always on an adrenaline rush. And, of course, taking the drugs is the only thing that stops them... I can't relax on my own, I always need a chemical help. It's virtually impossible to stop these vibrating feelings if I don't take the meds. I'm almost comatose in the morning, I just can't think straight and it takes me hours to be able to 'think' and reason again. I sleep well but I always have very vivid dreams when the drugs are wearing off. It's hard to tell if I'm awake or just dreaming, it feels like I'm thinking at an unnatural speed. I have no control over my thoughts, anyway. In addition, I always been very smart and with Quetiapine I just feel retarded. I can't think it straight. Then, all of a sudden, in the late afternoon, I feel like someone came to unchain my mind, and I start thinking so fast i can't focus on anything, I feel like thins are moving too quickly and my body aches even more. I've always been taking the drugs at the tiniest effective dose and I don't want to take more during the day. I start easily, I can feel a rush of electricity in my body at every sound and I just can't calm down. It's not even anxiety. I never got a panic attack. Sounds more like hyperactivity and restlessness! I've tried to withdraw from Trazodone but taking less than 50 mg caused me to burst into tears and feel absolutely hopeless. I'm on a paleo diet right now, high in berries, fresh fruit and organic lean meat, I take zinc, magnesium, potassium, as well as probiotics and colostrum since I have been diagnosed with a bad form of leaky gut and chronic body inflammation, but they proved to be unable to prevent these relapses and these odd pains. Is really such a tiny dose of Quetiapine causing this? It shouldn't even affect my dopamine receptors at that dose, should it? Are my issues caused by noradrenaline instead? I'm I'm only 25, I don't want to spend the rest of my life on drugs that are doing more harm than good.
  19. I dropped my Prozac from 15 mg to 10 mg back on March 10th. It's now June 3rd, and after having been through a few weeks of tears, jitters, anxiety, and dysphoria, the sexual dysfunction has finally kicked in. My sex drive has absolutely plummeted (which honestly I'm happy about). I've been suffering from genital numbing, poor/weak erections, difficulty climaxing, and then last night, a "muted" orgasm. It was just a series of muscle contractions without the associated pleasure. It's kind of gross without it, to be honest. I'm actually glad this has happened for two reasons. My doctor has told me that my withdrawal was "over" two weeks ago, and yet this has only just happened now, so this is evidence that I'm right that it persists. I've struggled with hypersexuality and a preoccupation with obsessive thoughts about sex since I was put on the drug at 19, although I never knew it was the Prozac. I thought it was me. To have my sex drive taken from me is a huge relief. No more compulsive thoughts about women, no more outrageous flirting, no more seeking to bolster my self-esteem by sleeping with women. I might want it back some day (I'm perpetually single) but right now it's like removing a splinter in my mind that's been driving me mad. Fleeing
  20. Greetings and Salutations I have been a longtime lurker and reader of this site and after years of reading and finally getting off of all Psych Drugs I am finally clean and Drug Free. I would like to thank the people on this site for sharing there stories ( which is not easy) and posting them for others to learn from, get support and a place to vent and lets you know you are not alone. Why post and why now? From time to time I come back to this website to stalk and have seen posts lately that when people get better they stop posting and don’t come back , well I am doing the opposite to offer hope and perspective from my view.I just feel now I can compose my thoughts somewhat and put them on paper/text and let people know that there is hope and with this forum for me personally it helped me cope. I just recently had another family member start having mental health issues and I am able to talk and help them out. When reading this please take into account I still have a hard timing putting thoughts to words and forgive my grammar, sentence structure and jumping around. Quick Rundown, grew up in a toxic environment but always had food, place to live and family but it was very dysfunctional, with an alcoholic father and my poor mother was just trying to survive being a teenager and had no clue. I was never physically abused but mental cruelty was real to me. The fighting , yelling and screaming was non-stop, screwed up grandparents and crazy living situation. I was and still am very sensitive to everything and considered a drama queen. I tend to over react at first but in time I can get through it. I have been told I have white people problems but regardless it affected me because of who I am and how I was made. Everyone is built different. I also try use humor as an outlet. In my case from a young age I did not know how to cope with issues and bottled everything up until my mind and body couldnt take it anymore. So after growing up like this, my father drinking himself to death and died @ 34 I started to turn to drugs and alcohol to deal with my pain. Then a few years later finding my grandmother dead and having to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation and having other traumatic events I finally broke and started having panic attacks .This was at the time all of these great psych meds came out and they started to hand them out like candy. I started out on Paxil, the side effects really bothered me, went on to Lexapro then wellbutrin and a couple of others in there and finally settled on Cymbalta. The whole time still with the drugs and alcohol. Why drugs and alcohol? because the meds I was taking only helped the panic attacks and never really resolved anything. While on cymbalta for the next 12- 14 years I gained like 40-50 lbs became a shell of myself and still had the issues. I finally got fed up and wanted no more of the meds and had enough, blood pressure was going up and other health issues started to arise. Here is were it gets fun, I went to my primary GP and he was maintaining my Cymbalta and said I wanted off I was having to many health issues, he said it will take 2 weeks? I have tried to get off this crap before and said no way. Started reading and researching and tried to do what I thought was a gradual reduction from 90 - 60mgs and had withdrawals but still went through it and for me a big mistake. My body and mind said F-You dude and went into super hyper-sensitivity mode. The drug was repressing my nervous system and then all of a sudden it was gone and I felt everything and my body got worse, bp went through the roof so my GP started to put me on BP meds and just made the problem worse and I was in and out of emergency rooms. Here is the other kicker at this time I stopped all rec drugs but in the emergency rooms I told them about getting off of cymbalta and they found pot in my blood work (I smoked pot for years and quit when I stopped taking my meds at this point it made things worse) and immediately blamed pot and they would give me a xanax and my body would instantly calm down and I would go back to normal. They said I was a drug addict withdrawing from pot and I was looking for drugs to get high. In reality I was going through serious withdrawals coming off of cymbalta and needed help and they said you’re a drug addict and really wouldn’t help. This pissed me off to know end. BTW I could get all of the drugs I wanted on the streets.My doctor kept switching BP meds and just made things worse and I was in and out of emergency rooms and hospitals and had to leave work. This went on for 7 weeks but I got lucky and on the verge of being placed in the crazy ward literally and found a place that knew exactly what I was going through. I didn’t sleep maybe getting 6-8 hours a week, lost 30 lbs in 8-10 weeks and my stomach was horrible, couldn’t eat, sleep, think straight and barley function as a human being and thought I was going to die. I would pace all night long, How I got better? It was a combination of finding the correct Dr's and myself. It is up to you to help yourself. I left the Dr who almost killed me and found ones that wanted to help and understood. Meds and Drs can only do so much. I spent countless hours of research and trial and error with diet, vitamins, exercise, yoga, meditation you name it ( screaming at a stop sign ) whatever it takes. I was put on the lowest doses of serequel to sleep and oxycarbinazapine for the anxiety which did very little but I think the Dr's had no idea what to do with me. The plan with these Drs was to have me med free at some point btw; These Dr's understood what I was going through and wanted to help. Finally after 2 years I am med free but not out of the woods and don’t see any drs except my GP for physicals and still dont sleep well but much better than 6-8 a week. I will always be a sensitive person and I have come to terms with that, I eat right for me and what works for me. I take a couple of vitamins, Vitamin C, Magnesium calcium zinc a healthy diet and exercise. I have good days and bad days and some days I think I need meds again but so far so good especially now I am getting older and my body is breaking down (I have literally broke just about every bone in my body), joints and muscles and everything hurts a little more these days and I am learning to deal with it, my wife calls me a H.A.M - Hot Azz Mess and I concurr In conclusion everybody is different and how we all got to this point and where we are now. Some people can get off the meds and some cant. BTW what I have found out is that whether I am on the meds or not I feel the same exact way and the meds only helped the panic attacks and never got rid of them and in my opinion they did more harm then good. There is hope but you are your own best advocate ,try to find a good Dr, General practioner, Psychologist, Pschyciotrist , Sherpa guru or a friend who understands. There is no easy fix, hang in there and try and think positive thoughts. I feel I was born with a chemical in-balance passed from generation to generation. My father used alcohol to cope and it killed him. It is not easy and when it doubt ask for help, there are still good people out there and sometimes it takes a while to find them Believe in yourself , try and stay positive and never give up. Nutrition , Diet exercise and vitamins are key for me Continue to write your story and good luck R2G2
  21. Hi Guys, I had a difficult childhood but rather not common! I have wonderful and spiritual parents but I was born a worrier with intense fear of the world. Who knows, maybe genetics, etc… The fears made me feel different and I didn’t develop like the standard child in the 70’s. I avoided social gatherings, had no real friends but otherwise healthy as per my pediatrician. I was aware of my fears but thought that some threats are forever when they were not and threats that I had, everyone has, which was also not the case. I kind of managed to get through life while being chastised by my parents that I was lazy, had no self-confidence, low self-esteem, etc… It came to a point where I just couldn’t see eye to eye with my parents nor with the world around me! This caused lots of anxiety, more fears, and a disconnect. Doctors, herbalists, or anything under the sun in the 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s were tried but everything seemed to point to my mental distress although people didn’t give any credence to these kids; either you were a top performer or you were down in the dumps, I guess. To get to the chase, at age 18, I had a panic attack in the summer and then another in the winter at age 19, followed by anxiety symptoms, which at that time were physical and left me worried as a hypochondriac… At age 20, I was becoming convinced I’ll never marry, I’ll never make it in life, and nobody really needs me. My father hates me and my friends are moving along, leaving me behind. At a cousins wedding, I had a horrific anxiety attack, which left me pacing and twitching, not knowing what the morrow will bring. Of course, my parents at that time took me serious and tried to console me, without success. To make a long story short, I was introduced to my first Psychiatrist/Butcher. After 45 minutes, I had a prescription for Prozac and Zanax, being promised I will heal and that the drugs were not addictive. His psychotherapy was worse than no therapy and after a while, I was introduced to the new phenomenon of being drugged for life. Change of meds to Paxil made no difference. I was encouraged to get married (bad advice!) while taking all the drugs. Although I was not comfortable, somewhere down the line my parents convinced me to cut medication. Off with the Xanax (too fast, of course) and tapered the paxil to 10mg (too fast, of course!). I was doing well (so to speak) until I collapsed into a more horrible depression with suicidal ideation and urges. Well, I think you can guess the rest and I won’t bore you with 10-15 useless years. Changed and added new meds. Ranging from: Paxil, Klonopin, Lithium, Zyprexa, Lamictal, Ritalin, Trileptal, Effexor XR. I was separated and made the mistake to get back before I was ready, pushed by a psychiatrist with an agenda! Started with worse anxiety, I ended up seeing a psychiatrist that introduced washout in Cornell at Westchester, NY. What a slam of a deal! Stupid people tapered me off all the drugs in a 3 week range, leaving me with panic attacks that hit the roof. Sleeping was damaged, so was I. I complained, so they reinstated Klonopin, added: Depakote, Ambien for sleep, Lexapro, Seroquel low dose for sleep, and Wellbutrin XL. I was one big mess. This happened in 2013. I was separated, to be divorced, after that incident for good. Living in my parents’ house was hell and the doctors and parents started blaming me for being not motivated and a weakling. After a few months of torture, I started seeing a psychologist that works with the “system” suggesting a new, best in the world psychiatrist for meds and he’ll do the therapy… Now my regimen has changed to: Cymbalta, Wellbutrin XL, Klonopin continued, Viibryd, Seroquel increased, and Deplin. I wasn’t doing too great and my parents suggested holistic medicine. A cortisol test confirmed the highest level of cortisol 24hr a day. I was given supplements, a diet plan, and Seriphos. The Seriphos worked like a charm and after a couple of months, I was read to even think about withdrawing from drugs. I started with Wellbutrin and went down to 75mg Regular release (from 450mg), Cymbalta to 60mg (from 120mg). Still stuck on Seroquel 200mg, Klonopin 2.5mg, and Viibryd 20mg. This is where I crashed and had to stop the withdrawal, for now. I can’t seem to break below 60mg of Cymbalta and was told by people on this forum, outside of forum that I need to go slower. I guess this is where I’m now. A short and sweat hell. After the Hospital event, where I stayed for a month behind locked doors and fortress like walls, I seemed to not respond to the drugs the same way anymore and have constant mood swings and other withdrawal symptoms. I’m working in NY as a Database Reporter and trying to keep my job despite the difficulties… I have two wonderful kids and I’m hoping and praying to G-d that things will turn around and get better. Maybe this forum will allow me to learn other people’s experiences so I’ll heal smater! I am seeing a new holistic practitioner and taking lots of supplements. I also took the 23andme genetic test showing some defects. Did multiple testing and I guess it’s a hit or miss; sometimes I’ll feel better, other times not!
  22. Hi, I'll try to keep this short so I don't bore people too much. I suffer from some serious depression. Was recently diagnosed as schizophrenic but as you seem to know psychiatrists are really crappy professionals so that's not what I have for sure (even my psychologist was very admired when he found I was diagnosed with this). My life has been pretty much a big pile of **** since my early teens (since I was 12). Fast forward to my days in college which I was hoping would make me better but ended up being a living hell that just made things worse, I started to contemplate that it was just better to give up, I was miserable for too long, I think the only thing that kept me from doing it was not to have access to an easy way to. Some more years, and finally at 33 I unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide, after being two days unconscious after an overdose of pills inside my car parked in a hidden place, I was finally found by my mother (police couldn't find me and did an awful job) and brought to the hospital. Luckily the damages weren't too big, the fingers on my left hand were seriously damaged (I'll never be a surgeon or a guitar player), I almost lost one of my fingers do to extreme heat and also lost some hair but through an expensive surgery managed to recover most of it. My biggest dream is to be in a solid relationship with a woman that I love and that loves me back, create a wonderful future together, grow together and mutually help each other to live fulfilling lifes, probably have a family, and if I ever recover give back to others who may suffer from a similar situation. I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I even ever kissed a woman (without having to pay for it). Unfortunately the woman that I love is married, I found this out after 1 year of knowing her. She seems sometimes interested in me but other times I'm just invisible to her. when those times happen I just feel like it would be better if no one had found me in that car so I would finally be released of this nightmare. After the suicide attempt, that unfortunately she ended up knowing (she works at the hospital), her relationship with me has been seriously damaged (not that it was that great before).. I guess she got scared because she knows I love her. I've tried meeting other girls but it seems like there aren't any interesting, available woman. here, in this hellhole. Nothing really seems to make me happy apart from the few times I can connect with her, I kind of am kinda of OK during the week but then about 2 times a week I feel really down and awful, like I'm feeling today, one of those days where I seem to be invisible to her. I know I don't have much of a chance with her even though she doesn't have any kids, she still has a long term, serious, relationship. My biggest friends are mostly away, the ones that are closer I just don't seem to have a good connection with them. Maybe because they are younger than me, I also feel that they don't really like me, that I'm not part of the group. I can't work too much, I've recently been fired of a great working place: currently one of the top java companies. I was fired because during the times I've felt really depressed,I wasn't able to work properly. I've tried various psychologists and various psychiatrists but nothing seems to work or make me any better, only lost money and felt worse. About one year ago I've started tapering off my meds since they were just making me feel worse: slept too much, was getting fat, was feeling tired, etc.. Also quit with my psychologist since it wasn't making me feel any better and I was just losing money. I'm not a religious person or will ever be because I don't believe in it so that won't help me either. I'm 36 and still live with my mother. I'm a total failure and don't believe I belong in this world or that this world wants me in it. I don't believe I will ever be happy..
  23. Hi, SA. Long time lurker jumping in. As it says in signature, I'm still at a very high dose of prisitq and a more reasonable one of seroquel. I don't want to be, but there you go. I don't know if or when I'll get off them, because I'm 21 and juggling studying full time with having a messy head. But I thought I would say hi, because there's no harm in it.
  24. Gave up antidepressants 4 months ago, using what I thought was a long and careful descent. (I cut down over about three months I think, apologies still a bit muddled). After reading your comments I now realise that it can take years, not months to reduce. I have no reason to be depressed (apart from the loss of everything financial in my life, and guilt feelings, over that). And realisations that my whole personality has been changed by these drugs for years now. Must mean I am finally getting my brain back, which is promising. I was not prepared for effects of the drugs and withdrawals to hit four months after stopping them. I now anticipate a year to get better... But others say it can take a lot longer. Can anyone advise me? Will my symptoms get worse before they get better? I do feel it is now too late to start taking them again, as I know that starting over again can be horrific, been there, done that. Dont want to go down that path again. I kept taking a small amount of seroquol, to help with the panic attacks. I find now, even a tiny amount makes me terribly sleepy. Am taking St Johns Wort, Vit B, fish oil capsules, zinc. And trying to eat eggs (for whatever is found in the egg yolk). I now think I need to give away the seroquol, as I have been taking small doses, very erratically, and I have no way of knowing if this is making things worse. Seroquol always seemed fine for me, but now I wonder.
  25. Have been on this stuff for only six months... 60mg Mirtazipene (in doses raised from 15mg. In 15 mg. increments) and 50 mg Serequol. I want off, but am aware that this stuff mucks up your brain. Temporararily or permanently? I am 81...what hope have I at this stage of life? I could cheerfully murder the psych who put me on these and now that I'm so much more informed re both depression and the meds... Help!