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Hi. So, I had been having some health anxiety over 2021. It resulted in me getting a colonoscopy in November 2021. Leading up to it I had intense anxiety, a few panic attacks and perhaps even a nervous breakdown. The night before I woke at 3 am and had a panic attack. I really thought I was dying this time, so we called 911, and I luckily, not dying. During the procedure they did take a biopsy, and while waiting for the results (2weeks) I had very intense anxiety. It was benign. I'd had intense panic and anxiety for almost a whole month at this point. Around Dec 17, 2021 I contracted covid. It was pretty uneventful, but near the end of it I was waking around 5 am with adrenaline and diarrhea and I couldn't go back to sleep, this was creating anxiety in me that was getting harder and harder to control. So I went to a Dr on December 30 2021 who prescribed me Zoloft 50mg and Xanax 0.25mg. They were filled pretty fast and I took one of each as soon as I got home (around 1-2pm) I felt ok at first, but a few hours later all the side effects started. Irritable/uncomfortable, anxiety, nauseous, no appetite, chills, diarrhea, invasive thoughts that started pretty quick and intensely, and soon to find out - insomnia. I'd lay there with invasive thoughts and if I happened to drift off I'd be jerked awake and there was no sleeping for at least a week. I lived in a panic for around 2 weeks. I never took another dose of Zoloft. But I did take around 9 doses (some halved) of Xanax over the next 2-3 months. Sometimes to help sleep, but it was never worth it as I'd only get a 2-3 hours and then have intense anxiety the next day. It worked ok for panic during the day, but then I feel it intensified my anxiety for the next few days. I found some old Valium 5mg from a dental procedure, there were only 2 doses. They helped sleep some, but they left me feeling so sluggish, it didn't feel good. And it wasn't helping me sleep enough to want to try to get more, I was prescribed Restoril 15mg in April by a sleep Dr. I only took half doses 3 times. Again, it didn't help my sleep enough to ever make it worth it and just gave me bad rebound anxiety. Then I was prescribed hydroxyzine May 2021 (forgot about that when I wrote my signature, will add later). I've taken it around 5 times. It helped me sleep the first night, then not so much the next. Waited a week and tried again, it helped a little for sleep and calming, but not that much. It was mostly disappointing. Luckily it didn't seem to cause any rebound anxiety. But it doesn't help with much so I really don't take it. So, I did take my last Xanax around 1 month ago for a bad panic attack. And that was last time I took a benzo. My last hydroxyzine was around 1 week ago. My current symptoms are anxiety, depression, anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization (I'm never sure on the terms, it's the one where I feel like I'm in a dream, I can react to everyone normally and everything seems normal, but I just feel ... off, like I'm not connected to it all). Agoraphobia, I can push past it but it's hard and only if it's close to home or my husband and children are with me. Which really sucks because I used to love going out by myself or with my children, go on vacations etc... now I feel like I can't leave the house without forcing myself. This fear feeling is so horrible and there really is no reason, I just feel it. And intense insomnia, I can't fall asleep, can't nap, I get adrenaline rushes continuously as I'm trying to fall asleep, or less common are the hypnic jerks, and I wake early around 3-6am and can't fall back to sleep even if I've only slept for 1-2 hours. I like to think my sleep is getting better, as there some rare nights when I will get 5-7 hours. But those are followed the next night by not being able to fall asleep because of adrenaline surges. So, I'm probably only getting those nights from severe sleep deprivation, not that I'm actually getting better =( At one point I thought it was just anxiety keeping awake, but there have been plenty of nights I go to sleep with NO worries at all. I'm not over thinking or thinking of anything provoking and I still get the adrenaline surges at the point of falling asleep. It's seriously so maddening. It's going into 6 months since that day and my sleep is still not good. I thought it would last a few days, then weeks, then got my hopes for a few months. Now it's going into half a year. It started with panic and anxiety, but now depression is setting in and I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my hopes up, but it's so hard. I also have anhedonia and agoraphobia although I can push past it as long as it's close to home, but it takes a lot of effort. I do get some windows I stay home with my 3 small children and am not able to be the mother I want to be for them by feeling this way. Which again adds to the depression. So that's where I am. I hate that I took that zoloft and xanax. And for a long time now i was just blaming the zoloft. And now I've been wondering if the benzos have been negatively affecting me as well? I know I can't beat myself up over it. I try and accept my situation and believe that I will heal. But it's so hard and it all feels so dark sometimes.

Hey everyone, I've wrestled with two crippling bouts of insomnia in my life, both within a year a half of each other. Both bouts of insomnia weren't driven by anxiety or depression, but rather came through illness. So, I don't ordinarily have depression or anxiety. The first time I had insomnia it lasted around 3 months and I got through it with temazepam and remeron, which I tapered off of successfully. The second bout of insomnia started December 8th, 2022, again due to illness. I started temazepam again and later remeron. I had some med changes over the course of several days, which is reflected in my signature, but eventually got back on remeron. My sleep eventually stabilized, so I tapered off the temazepam successfully, with the added help of hydroxyzine. I then stopped the hydroxyzine cold turkey and didn't seem to have any issues. The last thing to go was the remeron, which I always took at 10pm and went to bed at 10:30pm. I was on remeron for about 2.5 months, most of that time being on 15mg, which I then reduced to 7.5mg for a week, then 3.75mg for another week. During the remeron taper I also used 5-10mg of THC and 30mg of CBD at night and I only had one night I didn't sleep well. The last day I took the 3.75mg dose of remeron was March 2nd, 2023. So, I hopped off at 3.75mg and it's been two days and I haven't slept at all either night. I'm guessing I should go back on the 3.75mg dose and do a microtaper with a compounding pharmacy?

Hello! I took sertraline for 5 months for panic attacks and insomnia caused by temazepam, which I have for sleep from very stupid doctors. Sertraline removed panic attacks and improved sleep, but caused constant tension and paranoia.I reduced the dose of 50 mg from May to the end of September, at the current dosage of 12.5, all this time I felt okay, small symptoms. At end of September I had to take the antibiotic clindamycin and diclofenac in suppositories, at the same time I reduced the dose (in grams from 0.047 to 0.037), after the completion of the antibiotic, anxiety increased, thoughts appeared that I don’t want to live, but what’s the worst, terrible thoughts began to appear about how to harm the most beloved person in my life, just like that for no reason, I’m very afraid, I never thought that, I want to understand why these thoughts come , I have no mental illnesses and never had, tell me, can a decrease in sertraline cause a desire to harm someone? should I go back to 0.047 gr. thanks everyone. Please, can someone tell me if it’s ok? Will it gone? Did someone have had thinks like this. 10.2021 temazepam for 3 weeks KT november all terrible symptoms 12.2021 started sertraline ,from may 2022 until end of September decrease from 50 to 12,5(from 0,150 gr to 0,047) 6.09.2022 -13.09.2022 diclifenac 25.09-27.09 antibiotics clindamicin 28.09 decrease sertralin from 0,047 to 0,037.

I'm new to this site. My sister referred me (mod note: see sister's post here sister-of-saradee-help-needed-urgently-in-nj I'm 45 and have been on meds for bipolar, major depression, Bpd, Attention deficit, social phobia, Gad, panic disorder, dependant personality disorder, etc. I have been taking meds throughout my adult life and am have found no relief. In fact I think I believe these meds are making me sick, keeping me stuck, and making life unbearable. I've been on more antidepressants, tranquilizers, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers than I can remember and am currently taking ketamine for my treatment resistant antidepressant. I am also a "recovering" addict, although Im just as addicted to the drugs prescribed by my doctor as I ever was to street drugs. Heroin was my drug of choice, and I have been on suboxone for over 15 years now. In addition to the suboxone, I'm prescribed wellbutrin, xanax, Adderall, and Tamazapam and Ketamine. I literally take a pill to wake up, to go to sleep, to go to eat, and to go to the bathroom. Every day feels like a balancing act and I feel lucky when I get a few minutes that I feel well enough to get out of bed to get to my overwhelmingly long and over due to do list. I really am not functioning on any level and am having trouble finding hellp. I'm trying to get treatment but I can't seem to find a place who has a doctor who will work with me to get off the meds either because they aren't qualified or because I don't have a good enough support system in place for such a drastic change. So I have considered detox which scares me because 3 to 10 days does not seem adequate to get off a lifetime of meds. I would like to go to rehab as well, but would have to detox First. The other traditional option would be a psych unit, however, I'm afraid that that will just be more of the same...throwing medication at a problem that meds don't seem to be helping. Anyhow, I don't know if this is appropriate, or if I'm posting in the right place, but I just really need help. I feel like a huge burden to everyone especially my family, my daughter should be the focus and although my fiance is there for her, it's just not ok. I want this to stop but I just don't know what to do. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this. Any ideas or insight would be greatly appreciated.

Link to Introduction topic: ☼-squiggle Hello, I have waited a long time to post this message, to be precise, one year, as I wanted to be sure before I wrote. I had previously had a thread in the main forum, under the name Squiggle. I posted there about my three failed attempts to get off Mirtazapine, the last one being in 2014. I note that Altostrata asks for a link to be made to that previous topic but I am a technological idiot and have no idea how to do this - so please forgive that. So bruised was I by the third attempt, that I waited over a year before once again trying to begin to come off. Indeed, I never really again termed it fully coming off, merely trying to get as low as possible whilst staying well. During that year, I gradually reduced until I was taking c. 0.1 - 0.2 mg (it's hard to be precise at that level) in a gelatine capsule each night. I had some rough patches but nothing too bad. One problem about waiting so long to report is that it is hard to remember the details! I remembered the saying attributed to Samuel Beckett, "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." So how did I do it in the end? Very, very slowly - it took me from Feb 2016 to July 2017 to come fully off that tiny dose. I took all the advice that I had read about over the years from here, CITA and many other places and did it in a way that felt right to me. I had read a lot about how the brain works and in particular fear reactions and concluded that for me, a big problem was not so much the withdrawal per se but that its effect, disrupted sleep, made my fear reaction kick in and this is what was my biggest issue. I therefore needed to deal better with my fear so I constructed a programme, loosely based on the CITA withdrawal timetable (but over a much longer period) where I gradually replaced my nightly dose with a "placebo". I slowly increased the frequency of the placebo doses and extended the gap between doses. I increased the gap roughly every two months but was never rigid about the timetable - this time, I let my brain and body guide me. What was the placebo? It was a little ground up Magnesium Citrate (which I took at 250 mg per night anyway for menopausal issues) in a gelatine capsule. Understand that I made these "placebos" myself and knew very well that they were fake. Whether they really helped or not I don't know but I carried on taking them until about a month ago just in case. I know that dose dropping is not recommended here but remember that this was from a microscopically small dose. Also, what I wanted to do was to precipitate gradually a degree of withdrawal symptoms so that I could practise dealing with them, knowing that the following night I could take a dose. It worked for me. What I actually found as the process progressed was that I noticed that on the nights I took a real dose, I slept very heavily and felt slow, sluggish and horrible the following day. When I took the placebo, my sleep was shorter and maybe lighter but more refreshing. I grew to hate the way I felt when I took a dose and this made it easier to finally give up. I also made changes in my life. I took up regular mindfulness meditation and became a serious practitioner of yoga. These both helped enormously. Anyway, there it is. I am now one year off and in that year have done much, including recently qualifying as a yoga teacher. I have menopausal sleep issues which I believe were covered by the Mirtazapine but using yoga and meditation techniques I manage these effectively. I still take 250 mg Magnesium Citrate a night. I have no other symptoms and am well and happy. I'd like to finish by saying that I know the road can seem endless but do not lose heart if you try to come off and it doesn't work. Every attempt is a learning experience and you can take from it and try again and eventually, as I did, you will get there. Listen to your body and brain - I am sure that whilst we can learn a lot from each other, in the end, your path is yours alone and your experience will be different from anyone else's. Trust and value yourself. I wish all of you the very best for your healing. It is possible - never doubt it.

I am in my mid-thirties, and I've been on some form of antidepressant since adolescence. As a socially awkward, bullied young person in the throes of puberty, I hit a wall of apathy and sadness sometime in my sophomore year of high school. I no longer had the drive to make the Dean's List or pursue the activities I once enjoyed. This is when a pivotal conversation with my primary care provider occurred. He rolled toward me on a medical stool, pointing at printed charts illustrating neurotransmitters and a faulty brain chemistry. I think I was prescribed Zoloft, but I don't recall the details. I do remember that my parents remarked on the difference the medication made in my mood, and truth be told I was thankful at that time that I'd found the help I needed. Throughout college and into my twenties, my doctor adjusted my medication(s) several times. These adjustments usually corresponded with various hardships and bumps in the road inherent to living a human life. But I was fully bought into the idea that my brain was unbalanced, and feeling "okay" was just a matter of finding the right med or mix of meds to temper the discomfort. In my late twenties, I fought hard to get sober, recognizing that alcohol was causing far more harm than good in my life. Around the same time, I was prescribed Ambien for sleep (as needed). In the true fashion of an alcoholic, "as needed" soon became "every night." A couple years later, for reasons unknown to me or unremembered, my doctor prescribed Temazepam for my nightly sleep regimen to replace the Ambien. I had no understanding of benzodiazepines, their risks, or the withdrawals often associated with quitting them. I remained on a cocktail of Pristiq/Wellbutrin for depression paired with Temazepam to slow my brain at night for nearly five years. Honestly, I didn't think much of it. I trusted my doctor, and had no reason not to. I moved to a new city in 2016, started a new career, and felt in many ways that I was hitting my stride. In 2019, my then girlfriend suggested that I try and see what things might be like if I tapered off of the medication. Herself a trained therapist, she was particularly concerned that I relied on something to sleep every night. I agreed, and thought I'd like to see if these drugs were really necessary anymore. I was sober, I certainly wasn't depressed, and I had a good support system in place. In partnership with a new doctor and with my therapist on board, I made a plan to taper off of the medication. First the Wellbutrin, which we dropped over the course of a month or so. Then the Pristiq, which we tapered down over the course of a couple months. Then, snowed in on a November day and down to my last 30mg dose of Temazepam I thought, "I'll just stop taking this and be done with these meds completely." During the antidepressant tapering process, I was a bit more irritable and had some trouble focusing, but I was mostly functional. The symptoms were mild to moderate. Even in the immediate days and weeks after dropping the Temazepam, I felt okay. I slept fine, and I was mostly just excited to no longer be chained to a monthly sack of prescription refills to fix my "broken" brain. Fast forward to just after Christmas 2019. Some challenges in my relationship were giving me anxiety, but it was anxiety like I'd never felt before. And the strength of the anxiety was entirely disproportionate to the reality of the situation. It wan't long before I wasn't sleeping. Soon, I felt unsafe spending nights alone, fearing for my own safety. Thoughts of suicide cycled through my brain with regularity. A couple of weeks passed, and even basic tasks became insurmountable. I was in a near constant state of fight-or-flight. One Sunday evening I opened up my laptop to try and catch up on some things at work that I'd fallen behind on, and I couldn't focus my eyes to read an email. Panic began to set in, and I dialed my physician and then my therapist to try and make sense of what was happening. At the time, I placed much of the blame on my relationship, but I see now that I was in acute drug withdrawal. I fought my way through a haze of psychiatric evaluations, doctor's visits, emergency therapy appointments, the dissolution of my relationship, and a car accident (in which thankfully nobody was hurt). Eventually, at my own insistence, I found my way back to the original three medications I'd been taking, thinking that would be my best shot at finding some sense of stability. It's only been in the last month or so that I've felt some degree of what I would call stability, and I'm operating at about 75% of the mental capacity I once was, trying to pick up the pieces of my life and make sense of everything that happened. That search to make sense of everything is what led me here. I know that I do not want to be on a cocktail of medication for the rest of my life. I don't want to medicate my feelings or rely on a drug to fall asleep or live detached from my emotional experience. But I also know that right now, the right thing to do is to wait. I have to wait until my nervous system stabilizes and I can set up the proper plan and support system (the latter of which is made more complicated by the global pandemic we're all experiencing). If you have any advice for how I should go about tapering these medications based on my history, current dosage, and the experience described above, I am all ears. I look forward to actively participating in this withdrawal process alongside all of you, even if I need to wait a bit before I set out again. Much love.

Hi, Just curious if anyone can provide some help. I've had a rough 2015. I was in the ER with a couple of incidents of low sodium. As some of you might know, Lexapro and other SSRIs contribute to that. I've been on Lexapro for 15 years. I also had a night time drinking problem. My Dr told me to quit Lexapro in June which I did cold turkey. They didn't tell me otherwise. I had dizziness for a month but that's it. I tried it back up on my own in September but quit after a week cause of the symptoms. Then with my Dr's help I quit booze. Forgetting about the issues with low sodium he strongly urged me to go back on it cause I would be stressed from quitting booze. I did and gave it up 12/3/15 cause of the side effects again. I had some withdrawal from being on it for only a week. Anyways, due to incredible anxiety and insomnia for a week straight I went back to Lexapro on 1/1/16. Part of the stress is due to a new job opportunity to start in January if I want it. High stress gig. I was given meds to help with the low sodium issues. My long winded question is this? Was the stress due to withdrawal or a relapse of stress? I don't know which is the answer I want but I'm scared cause I'm not myself and have been in bed for weeks. Christian

Looking for advice, or support from others with like experiences. We are helping a friend. Here is what we know of her history: Past history of lyme disease (Believed to be resolved years ago... neurologist says friend may still have it, but I personally don't believe the symptoms commonly diagnosed as lyme disease are actually lyme disease). More recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (about a year or so ago). December 2018 – Began steroids, and then doctor prescribed restoril to balance steroid effects. Beginning of July, 2019 – Friend wants to taper off both restoril and steroid. Doctor (DPC) began a 5mg taper starting a few days ago (dose was 20mg, so would now be 15mg). Says steroid must be tapered first, and 5mg was the smallest amount that could be tapered. After beginning, friend saw her neurologist who said she shouldn't have began tapering, but should have tapered. A few months ago, the neurologist had offered friend antidepressants, but friend refused saying she was not depressed. She had tried to taper off steroids before, but experienced vision problems and trouble walking. Could this be prevented, or decreased, by tapering more slowly? Does anyone have advice for tapering steroids and restoril? Does anyone have experience with these neurological symptoms, or the effects of steroids and tapering them?

Hi, im asking for advice on 12.5mg lamotragine taper that i plan for the new year. ive been taking it for 8 weeks today as a mood stabiliser. i have felt better but that may also be a result of the tamazepam taper starting a few weeks later and the anxiety around the potential breakdown of my relationship being removed as he did infact leave. hes a lovely caring man though who just couldnt hear my distress ans thoughts of ending it all anymore...its been a really hard year and september/October/ november in particular were hard. pregnancy, miscarriage and precervical cancer all in one. i havent worked since sep 1st when i had surgery. last time i felt like myself was August....that was before all these drugs and while i had terrible anxiety but the anxiety was nothing like with the drugs...they bought on serious depression too....

Hi all, just been given a prescription of Gabapentin today to help me with pain/sleep as Diazepam/Temazepam/ higher doses of Seroquel doing nothing for the latter - have histamine intolerance though, thus came across this site and these posts [in undiagnosed1's introduction topic]. May I ask does Gabapentin decrease or increase histamine? It's unclear. Look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. S

Sorry this is complicated, but this is a general overview of my history with antidepressants. Overall the main problem I've dealt with most of my life is trouble sleeping. One part of it is that I can have a lot of difficultly quieting down my thoughts. Another current aspect is that my friends/roommates stay up all hours of the night, and I've been getting influenced by this way too much. Over the past number of years I feel that I gotten too dependent on doxylamine/diphenhydramine for sleep, and it can be limited in how much it helps due to how fast the tolerance builds up. My overall reactions to antidepressants suggest that I have some form of bipolar. I did try a number of antidepressants around 1997-2000, and I tolerated them just fine, although I'm not sure if they really helped. The next time I tried an antidepressant was 2008, which was 20mg of cymbalta. This made me completely wired with racing thoughts, and unable to sleep for 3 days. In 2012 I was given temazepam for sleep (30mg), and I was told that it would be fine to take continuously. After about a month I started feeling strong tingling sensations through my whole body, and I this hunger that would not stop no matter how much I ate. I told my doctor and he said to just stop taking it. Once I did, my brain just went haywire. I started getting rapidly alternating bouts of severe anxiety followed by calmness. This turned me into complete emotional wreck over the next month. I went to my doctor and he said me that withdrawal is not a problem with temazepam, so he sent me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told me the same thing about temazepam, he thought something else was going on. I was given 7.5mg of remeron, and this solved everything after the first pill. It was able to put me to sleep quite well for the first two weeks, but then the sedation wore off. He upped the dose gradually to 22.5mg over a course of a month, and it eventually shifted to feeling like some sort of crazy stimulant. He had me stop it immediately, and afterwards I didn't sleep for 3 days while not feeling at all tired, and my mood was quite good. This is something I'd never felt before. If took me about 5 months to settle out and start feeling normal again. I found that during this time I was immune to all the sleep medications that had worked before. Also, if I had anything that had any amount of caffeine, it felt maybe 10 times as powerful as it should. In the beginning of 2015 some majorly stressful events happened to me, and a different physician sent me to another psychiatrist because I just couldn't sleep with all the stress. I've always found that long periods of sleep loss can send me into an emotional meltdown, and once I start sleeping again my mood resolves itself. I was given 50mg of amitriptyline, and it worked great for sleep for 2 weeks, but then the the sedation wore off. They were quite surprised that I was no longer getting any sedation, but they wanted me to keep taking it anyway. I had the same issues with caffiene feeling dramatically more powerful at any amount. I've been strictly avoiding it ever since. I stayed on the amitriptyline for about 3 months, until I started feel this building anxiety with this anger and frustration towards the end of the day. When I would take the amitriptyline, this feeling would disappear. This was another new thing that I hadn't experienced before. I went off of it and then this feeling was gone within 3 days. This past winter was particularly bleak. I had next to no social contact and I got severely depressed. My sleep became very restless where I would get maybe 1 hour of sleep a night for 4 days. I started getting the same bouts of anger that I got from the amitriptyline. I might be able to sleep well for a few days and start to feel normal, but then I would crash hard. This was extremely alarming, because once again I had never experienced anything like this before. I went back to the psychiatrist and I was put on lamotrigine and paxil. I started with 25mg of lamotrigine and that was upped to 50mg. For paxil I started at 5mg which was brought up to 15mg. I was able to start sleeping again around the 5-10mg dose. Once I got to the 15 dose, I started getting a lot of muscle twitching. With in a day or two, my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. This unbelievable amount of anxiety came out, and I was having a complete emotional breakdown. I could sleep for maybe a hour after a few days when my body would sort of drop from complete exhaustion. Another thing that happened is my pupils got really dilated, colors got incredibly bright, and I started getting hallucinations: where things would moving around and I was seeing faint, shimmering geometric patterns in objects. This was an utterly horrifying experience. I was given a bottle of temazepam (15mg) to help deal with this, and I think this is the only way I managed to survive this. The psychiatrist was only available through email and she told me to just keep taking the paxil. Once I got them on the phone, I got the shout down treatment. They called BS on this being any form of bipolar, and they told me to get to work to take my mind off things and that I was sitting around worrying myself to death, however I did finally manage to convince them that antidepressants were not for me, and they had me stop taking the paxil. I eventually got in contact with my work and explained the situation, and I decided to leave the hospital completely and switch health insurance. I visited a new physician that looks to be a very good one, and I discussed the temazepam with him, which I had been taking for about 3 weeks. The only reason I had continued to take it that long is because I was afraid of the withdrawal. The physician told me that some people can take it for a very long time and not have any withdrawal, while a smaller group of people can have quite a lot of trouble after only two weeks. Temazepam, is proving to be very difficult to get off. I've been trying for the last couple of months to balance getting rested, getting my life and work back together, figuring out of the new medical system, while trying to taper off the temazepam. For a good long while I felt that I was totally back to normal. I found that anytime I lowered the dose, the anxiety and sleeplessness would come back. I did have 3 days when I was out of temezapam and I couldn't get anymore due to an insurance/pharmacy mix up. I ended up getting powerful tingling sensation all through my body, along with sensation of things crawling across my skin. Visually, I was seeing exaggerated after images. Sleep was not happening. This stopped once I was got more temazepam. So, I'm about two and a half months into temazepam. The tingling sensations and anxiety are continuously getting worse as I take it. I went back to physician, and he sent me to a new psychiatrist, though he said with the new medical system he's on, he doesn't know the people he's referring the patients to, and he doesn't know if they're any good. The new psychiatrist dismissed that the tempazepam could be a problem. They interpreted the issues I had when I couldn't get tempazepam as a bipolar episode, and I'm having trouble buying into that. They want me to up the dose of lamotrigine (bringing it eventually to around 300mg), which I'm on 50mg of and to keep taking the tempazepam. I do agree with the bipolar stuff to a point. Any description I've read of full mania is not something I can relate to in any way. Hypomania only really fits how I felt after I stopped taking remeron, but I can't say ever felt like that otherwise. Some things fit, like the difficulty with turning thoughts off, and taking on too many projects. Atypical depression best fits the type of depression I get. The elevated mood and euphoria is not something I can relate to. But things get tricky when they say patients have a poor ability to recognize these things. So, this is the point I'm at, and I'm not sure what move to make next. (There are probably a lot of errors. Sorry, writing is not my strong point.)

I am on Cymbalta and Temazepam. I know conventional wisdom says Benzo taper first. I am in severe tolerance. I am afraid of total insomnia as I am in severe pain from cervical dystonia I believe caused by Cymbalta. Can I taper Cymbalta first?

Hi I'm Kat At last after 25 years and after much begging my Mh team have said I can gradually withdraw from the cocktail of drugs I am taking. Starting a week on Friday. They have decided that the first med I should taper is the 30mg of Mirtazepine. They didn't explain why this particular drug should be the first to start with. They also didn't tell me what the lower dose will be. I take Diazepam, Risperidone, zopiclone and prn tamezepam. Any help would be appreciated so that I can make a decision whether to do what why MH team want me to do.

Moderator's note: Link to Hennie86's benzo forum thread I have used 5-htp in one time of my life without any problems so this time i thought, why not to try and now im thinking why on earth did i try. I had healthy nervous system back then and noticed it lifted my mood a bit(or it was placebo), now it´s very sensitive. What an impulsive thing to do to try that supplement, i just got an stupid idea to try, when i was suffering from depression one day and cried why my life is so grey and pointless. I even took half of the tablet, what an crazy amount 100 mgs would have been for me. Now it has been nightmare for days, i feel like i watch my life through anxiety. My goal was to feel better, but results were bad. Actually now i feel it was positive to suffer from depressive feelings and to cry the other day because after my 5-htp experiment my anhedonia got worse. Anxiety is all i feel now and depersonalisation and i still feel like i am half asleep half awake and everything feels weird, after my hospitalization i have been really sensitive to any changes how i feel. Seriously i feel like some colours went away from my life after taking that supplement or it is just lack of sleep. I still have tremor. I have blamed myself for days because of ruining my sleep and general life rhytm after 2 pretty decent months with good night sleep and nice dreams. Sleep that lasted 8 - 10 hours, really good after Lexapro wd ruining my sleep. Last night again the same thing like nights before, although i woke up one hour before, so 3 hours of sleep, im really soon in a state i have to go to hospital... It´s not really far away. I also suffer from self-hatred being so stupid to try serotonin supplement, because I know what reinstating Lexapro too late after quitting did to me, not good. What i have read from 5-htp, have convinced me, that it´s really stupid supplement for most of the people and can be as dangerous as ssri:s even though it is a supplement not a medicine. I saw my doctor today and he prescriped seroquel for sleep, 25 mg. I used it during my hospitalization, not with very good results with sleep and got mild RLS, but it helped a little bit, although i didn´t react well to bigger amounts of Seroquel. Now im thinking am i gonna try it, but im really afraid its gonna mess up things even more....I seriously thought im not gonna touch antipsychotics again. Still thinking, should i or should i not...Also have zyprexa in my cabinet and thought should i reinstate it instead, a tiny amount of it, would it help me sleep. im pretty desperate at this point, because im seriously in a really messed up state, afraid of collapsing again with really bad and this lack of sleep is ruining my life.

I am new to this site and would like to introduce myself and get some support. I have been on antidepressants for 21 years and have struggled with them and trying to go off of them. I have always followed doctors advice and it has hurt me. Currently I tapered down to 10 mg of celexa very fast over the last year after many updoses to 80mg at one time. I have been at 10mg for 9 weeks and having horrible adrenaline all day and night. This began a few years ago and is getting worse. I was also directed to stop temazepam 15mg 9 days ago after 2 months of use. I didn't know it was so addictive otherwise I would not have taken it. I have had sporatic benzo use over the years but nothing more than small doses used infrequently about 4 times in 20 years. I do not know what to do now. I have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms for so long, should I hold at 10mg and wait for stabilization or up dose the celexa. I am struggling quite a bit and can't write as much as I would like. Any support would be appreciated.

Hi. I began suffering from pgad last week. It's quite awful. I arrived at this forum looking for information on this, and it seems many on here have had this problem. I am not currently on or coming off of antidepressants. I was on them as a teen (a long time ago). I'm 33. I was also on ativan and/or clonazepam, and temazepam, up until about a year and a half ago. I wish I could get back on one of these as I wonder if it wouldn't help--I saw a couple people on threads who I *think* were saying clonazepam helped. However, I don't think I could get one of these anyway, as doctors are so reluctant to prescribe them now. Any thoughts on this? Another question I have is could my recent lortab usage have anything to do with the onset of this? Should I stop using this med; and if I do, might it go away, or have I started something that will now stay with me (I realize no one can answer any of this for sure; but I'm interested in your opinions)? Finally, has anyone used topical anesthetics to help with this condition and had any success? I'm considering buying some EMLA or tattooing anesthetic to see if it will help. It's hard to find info on if these are safe for genitals--but one would think so since these are also made for alleviating body-piercing pain and some get their genitals pierced (ouch). Oh and I have had restless leg like some others with this (as does my mother). And this does *feel* a lot like restless leg!! I wish like hell it was in my legs now. I also have been experiencing bladder trouble. In fact, the bladder trouble came about a week or two before the pgad. I have had bladder trouble in the past, however, on and off again in my life (like the restless leg, which has also been off and on again). I hope the pgad will follow suit and be on again off again. . . I'll be ever-grateful for *any* advice and opinions! And I know this is an anti-med site. I totally applaud everyone for getting off the ssri merry go round. I am glad I am off of these and never intend to go back on them. But please if you know of any other kind of med that might help at all, please please let me know. . .

Hi there, I was prescribed 20 mg Temazepam for 10 years but discovered I`d reached a tolerance to it last August (2014). I asked my Dr to help me taper, who crossed me over to Diazepam 10mg. After managing to reduce to 7 mg, I became anxious, depressed and began to see suicide as my only option. My Dr suggested an AD but I`d had enough of drugs. As a last resort I booked myself into a detox clinic 10 weeks ago, which I now know was a big mistake, but having all faith in them at the time I tapered from the 7 mg Diazepam over 7 days. Since then I `m in terrible daily pain, with head pressure, stiff neck, shoulders, arms, back and a burning feeling in my legs. On top of this I`m having dizziness and nausea. With hindsight, I wish I`d somehow managed to carry on with the taper as since then I`m mostly bedridden with these awful symptoms. I don`t seem to be recovering at all. Am I too late to reinstate a small amount of Diazepam as I `d like to be able to at least function again? Thanks for any help or advice.

Hi All, I'm joining SA as a way to give and receive support as I work my way out of 14 years of poly-drug treatment for a "severe mental illness" diagnosed after I was involuntarily hospitalized in an extreme state in 2001. When I was released from the hospital, I was on Seroquel and Depakote, constipated, confused, sad and dopey. I slept all the time, gained weight, my hair fell out. Deemed in the depression cycle of bipolar disorder, I was prescribed Celexa (terrible headaches and nausea), then Effexor (caused me to lose consciousness after exercising), then Welbutrin. Lamictal and trileptal were added, Depakote taken away, Neurontin tried for awhile, stopped, all to "stabilize" my "mood". A good career and high salary were history. For 2 1/2 years, I could barely function. My history of previous hospitalizations and mother's suicide 6 years prior made my SSDI claim sail through. I lost the ability to socialize or feel comfortable into public. I could blank out and hit the ground if someone startled me or trapped me. Six years ago, I started using a trained service dog for tasks related to PTSD (protect my body space and assist me out of dissociative episodes). That assistance allowed me to get off the seroquel and start doing things outside my home. In 2013, coincidental with starting a part time job, I had an access challenge that involved the police. My anxiety went over the top. Psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel, then Klonopin to deal with that, but I had to come off the Temazepam to take the Klonopin. I hated Klonopin and wasn't sleeping. Psychiatrist said, "If 'we' take you off the Welbutrin, maybe you won't have so much anxiety." I realized all along he had been prescribing additional drugs to treat side effects. He had added Sertraline to the Welbutrin on a couple of occasions and insisted I go on that before coming off the Welbutrin, which I did. Sertraline made me miserable. I decided to stop taking it after 1 month. I had gone back on the Temazepam for sleep, but once off the Welbutrin, didn't need that, either. By April, 2014, I was off everything but Lamictal, Trileptal and Levothyroxine (thyroid). I felt like a different person, awake! I could think! Wow. My skin cleared up. I started enjoying life and others started noticing how different my energy was. I fired the psychiatrist and approached my primary care doc to help me taper off Lamictal and Trileptal (the only two psych drugs left). Since a hidden study (not released until after the Lamictal's patent expired), showed it no more effective than placebo for bipolar depression, I started with that first. I did 10% taper until I got to half. Then did 10% taper of the half, cutting back every 2-3 weeks. Two weeks after my last dose of Lamictal, I started to slip into an altered state. Contributing factors, IMO: 1) Lamictal and trileptal have a synergistic effect. Lamictal increases the dosage of trileptal by about 40%. Coming off lamictal was like tapering off both; 2) In altered states 5 times (first in 1974), I was always locked up and drugged, and never able to naturally resolve the process; 3) The 20th anniversary of my mother's suicide approached. The unresolved grief, numbed out by so many years of drugs, blindsided me; 4) I didn't sleep for 5 days; and 5) Given what I'm reading here, there may have been some delayed withdrawal effects in the mix. Fortunately, loving friends stayed with me, helping me avoid the trauma of lock up. I've never been a danger to myself or others. I needed sleep. My primary doc prescribed temazepam. This time, it worked poorly. I had to take 3X what I'd taken before and it wore off within 3 hours. I'm now using medical marijuana to sleep. That works better than anything else I've tried (other than the seroquel which created a walking coma, not to mention the cholesterol soaring). I'm concerned about the anticholinergic effects of the drugs I've taken, including the 600 mgs Trileptal I'm still taking. With a family history of Alzheimer's, I do not want to add any more fuel to that potential. I plan to start tapering off the trileptal this coming week. Thanks to all of you for being here.