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  1. Not sure what to write…. I tried an unsuccessful tapering around 4 years ago, 2020, I was 60, crashed so badly, reinstated again, built my life up again. After some research I tried again tapering off last year 2023, did the tapering twice as long, over 6 months, not much information out there for getting off meds…. So wish I had this site then, did not know the tapering should be so slow!! Anyways, serious withdrawal symptoms that have destroyed my life again, now I live with horrible anxiety, physical pain, stomach issues, and mental anguish! Lost my whole lifestyle….I question daily “why did I do this to myself? Why am I putting myself through this suffering? On the Meds, my life wasn’t so bad, not like what some of you have. Yes, I slept 12 to 15 hours a day, mental fog, emotional numbness, but I had the strength to live, hobbies, reasons to be. now I’m just so lost…. There are days when I think I should reinstate but from reading here I’m afraid of different symptoms. I have been drug free 6 months,…. Something stops me from going back on…. Like if I do then this last year of suffering will be for nothing…. reading stories here is scary for me cause I didn’t know it would take so long for my brain, body, mind to heal. But it also the most real truthful place I found. I do a lot of daily walking, deep breathing, listening to healing videos, it is helping some…. But I have no meaning, no value in living, the real world outside of my home scares me, I feel like I don’t belong anymore. Now I live in an environment that I dislike immensely, which makes it even harder to build from. anyways, that’s it for now…. Now how to add the signature part of med history…
  2. Hello everybody, I have a bit of a history with depression. It seems largely situational for me, I have a history of being abused and having low self-esteem. I have also been through homelessness and transitioning at the same time, which did a number on my mental health. It was at that time that I was prescribed my first antidepressant, paroxetine. I quit it cold-turkey after one month because it seemed inefficient -- all it was doing was numbing my emotions but I still felt like ****. At the same time, helping me gain stable housing would have been way more helpful than throwing pills at me, but all they had to offer was "apply for social housing and maaaaaaaaaybe receive an apartment after waiting for 10 years". I'm not even exaggerating, this is the situation of social housing in my country. I eventually managed to get to a more stable situation, but depression was still around, so I have a bit of a history of trying different things. In December 2020 and January 2021, I was prescribed vortioxetine, and it wasn't particularly effective, so I ended up quitting that cold turkey too. Later, throughout February-March 2021, I was prescribed fluoxetine. After a while, it started causing me insomnia, so I got scared and quit it cold-turkey, again. Throughout 2021-2022, I also tried edibles and psychedelics. I was taking edibles once a week, sometimes twice. At first I found that they helped keep depression at bay, but after a while it was less effective. Retrospectively I think it might also have made things worse by causing or worsening some imbalance. I took a break of one month in April 2022 and it was pretty ugly: bouts of insomnia, intense depression, and so on. In October 2022, I tried vortioxetine again, but it immediately gave me insomnia. In retrospect I think this is a sign that my brain was destabilized or sensitivized in some way, because the first time I tried vortioxetine it didn't give me any insomnia. In November 2022, following a particularly bad depressive crisis, I wanted to try antidepressants again, and was prescribed venlafaxine. I had to get through 40+ days of insomnia when I started it. Regardless, I felt that it had immediate efficacy, which might be another sign I was dealing with some form of imbalance at that moment? Regardless, venlafaxine greatly helped me in that it gave me time and space to pursue therapy and work on some of my problems. In March 2023 I was diagnosed with ADHD and started Ritalin, hoping it could help me. It felt pretty efficient at first -- I was happy, full of energy, and it was a lot easier for me to start tasks and complete them. However, in the end, it didn't bode well with venlafaxine. I reached doses of 30mg/day Ritalin, 112.5mg/day venlafaxine, and the combo gave me pretty sh*tty side effects -- sensitivity to light, tiredness, headache, absurdly dry mouth -- without helping with ADHD at all. I quit Ritalin and the side effects mostly subsided. Following this, I wanted to quit venlafaxine to see how ADHD meds alone would work out. My reasoning is that dealing with ADHD may work better for depression since it would make it easier for me to undertake beneficial life changes, rather than just going to work and getting back home and not doing much. So after 10 months of venlafaxine, I tapered off from August to September, from 112.5mg to 0mg. It was a quick taper, but at the time it seemed to be okay for me. When I made the jump to zero, I felt a bit weird and sensitive for a couple weeks, and had very mild brain zaps. The physical withdrawals had been very mild compared to what I was expecting, so I thought I'd made it. I later tried ADHD meds again, but they didn't seem to work well. Ritalin did work at first, albeit not as strong as when I was on venlafaxine. But after a while, it lost efficacy and seemed to make me feel sad, so with my psychiatrist we decided not to try higher doses. I tried Concerta and it was similar, albeit shorter lived. Throughout October and November 2023 I had periods of anhedonia and dull sadness, which started worrying me. Later I was feeling depressed too, probably didn't help that I was starting to get sick of my job. I also feel that, looking back on 2023, the antidepressant did help me feel better but I felt largely content with a life situation that doesn't suit me well. In December, I was feeling better when I took vacation time and visited my parents -- until I started feeling depressed again for no apparent reason. I also experienced some sleep trouble and insomnia at that time. January 2024 was kinda rough. I think protracted withdrawals and work-related stress combined into something quite bad. But at the time I didn't think protracted withdrawals could be something lasting for so long. Feeling desperate, and afraid of the work situation, I tried going back on venlafaxine. But it felt wrong -- it immediately made me feel quite anxious and tripped out. When I started it in November 2022 it didn't feel this way, and I'm normally not a very anxious person. It felt like my brain was overly sensitive and I was adding fuel to the fire, so I quit after 5 days of venlafaxine. I went back to work and saw my mood decline throughout the week, had a breakdown the next Monday. I'm now on medical leave, again. I feel some guilt about it. I'm in the process of quitting my job -- I want to take some time to rest before going for another, hopefully better job. I'm a bit afraid though. I'm probably still going through protracted withdrawals, but I'm concerned about depression returning too. I'm concerned that the 5-day reinstatement attempt may have worsened things. For now my idea is to avoid all psychoactive drugs until my brain is stabilized, but if anyone here has suggestions about this, I'm all ears.
  3. I've been taking Pristiq 100mg (plus 5mg Somit to sleep and 100mg Activigil to wake up) for the past 3 years more or less. I've been trying to quit Pristiq for many months due to HORRIBLE withdrawals whenever I forgot even one pill. I got to down the dose to Pristiq 50mg after enduring two weeks of those horrible withrawals and then they were gone, luckily. Now I'm trying to figure out my next step. There's no Pristiq 25mg where I am from. My psych told me to switch to venlafaxine 75mg three days ago, not the XR, the regular. It has such a short half life that I'm having horrible symptoms as well, even though I'm taking 37,5mg in the morning and 37,5mg in the afternoon. I'm trying to figure out if this is the best way to quit Pristiq. She says I should stay with venlafaxine and taper down from it. I'm worried about feeling awful. I can't function. Should I stay with the venlafaxine or switch back to Pristiq 50mg and figure out something else? Should I bridge with Prozac form Pristiq? Should I stay with venlafaxine and THEN bridge with Prozac? Should I just taper down from venlafaxine? By the way, thank you all for describing so accurately all the discontinuations sympotms of the Pristq- the brain zaps, the headaches, the dizziness, the confusion. What has this done to us? I want out.
  4. Hi I hope that someone will be able to give me some kind of hope. I have been tapering from 20mg of Prozac and am now down to 4mg (for the last two months) but the side effects have been awful - mainly chronic fatigue, terror attacks, anxiety and generally feeling like I have the start or end of flu. Should I stay on the 4mg until this subsides? I was also on Venlafaxine 75mg (until about a year ago - but my GP withdrew me from this in a matter of weeks) so I'm not really sure if the symptoms are also due to this too.
  5. I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.
  6. Hi, I recently fell sick with COVID and couldn't tolerate my 37,5mg dose of Venlafaxine, as I know now I must be very sensitive to changes in serotonin level, and some articles suggest that COVID upps the serotonin level and it must have gone above what I was able to handle, Ive reduced the dose to around 15mg while in the hospital and started to feel a little better but after upping to 21mg or so I still ADR'ed, tried to quit ct, 2 days were better and I've crashed on the third, I then found Your site while researching what is happening to me and reinstated at 2x4,5mg taken 12h apart as I know know that cutting the XR tablet makes it IR, I don't really know why I ADR on lower doses now but the serotonin is my guess, feeling better than how I felt after ct, hoping to stabilise, how long should I wait before trying to increase the dose, as of now I have moderate anxiety which comes in waves, but this level is manageable if it doesn't worsen, moderate insomnia but I still can sleep few hours a night, with anxiety wave almost always comes elevated heart rate and discomfort in chest, but I know I am safe and won't die so it is not like when I was experiencing panic attacks before medication. I try to think positive and am very hopeful that I will come out of it when I feel good for a moment, and thank You in advance for any help You may provide
  7. Advise on switching the form of AD- tablet to capsule My doctor has been tapering my venlafaxine for more than one and a half year now. I was taking half+1/8 (of 37.5mg) tablet. So the division used to be inaccurate. Thus on my request and my doctor's approval, two days ago I switched to using granules from the capsule form. Some days I would be able to use the original capsule-cover, and for other times I would use empty capsule available in the market (seen as red and white large capsule in the image below). On the second day itself (when I took the medicine in the empty capsule available from the market) I experienced anxiety and restlessness. Could it be due to different release characteristics of the capsule that I bought from the market. I tried my best to properly count the total no of granules in each capsule and count for the same dose as before. Any suggestions please. would it be wise to try this capsule form for some time, or should I switch back to the tablet form. If I can adjust to the capsule granules, it would be easier for me to gently and accurately taper my dosage.
  8. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals
  9. OmegaZero

    OmegaZero: My story

    I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.
  10. Hi, first of all thank you for this platform. I really need help and do not know where to find it anymore… I used to be on a high dose of Effexor (300mg) in my 20s for about 5 years. I decided to taper down to came off the drug in 2017. The advice of my doctor was to reduce by 37.5mg every two weeks (if I remember correctly). The physical withdrawals were not too bad but I developed panic attacks after about 6 months and went back on the smallest dose of Effexor (37.5mg). I was on that dose for 5 years and I had less and less panic attacks over the years, I was really happy. Last year in September 2022 I was ready to stop the drug again to have a baby. I wanted to reduce by removing some beads from the capsules but when I opened it I found only one large bead. The drug I was on is a replica of Effexor called Enlafax-XR which is the funded drug here in New Zealand. I decided to stop completely from 37.5mg to 0mg which is what my doctor recommended. The physical withdrawals were fine and went away pretty quickly. I had more anxiety then usual, but thought it would go away with time. Fast forward to July, I took a multivitamin which included multiple B vitamins for a few of days and that combined with a fight with my partner sent me into a spiral of terror. I was shaking when going to bed and would wake up with a racing heart. This lasted for 10 days. I was good again for a few more months. Then came September - I would get quite anxious after my period and decided to take a supplement of St Johns Wort to see if it would help. I started vomiting and shaking in bed again and spiralling into thoughts of terror. Since I had no idea what was going on I contacted my doctor which prescribed me again Enlafax-XR at 37.5mg. I took one pill and was completely out of it the next day. My vision was slow and my legs and arm were rigid. Time was going really really slow. I told my doctor which told me I probably had had an anxiety attack and that I should try again on a full stomach. I tried again a couple of weeks later after spending those two weeks in complete terror, shaking and vomiting. At my second attempt I was able to reintroduce the drug. I became better after 1 week and that lasted for another 3 more weeks. I still had quite a lot of anxiety but the terror was gone and I felt more grounded. After 1 month of taking Enlafax-XR 37.5mg I had a big fight with my partner (our biggest fight yet in 9 years together). Things went downhill from there. I stopped eating, was vomiting all the time, my vision became slow like I was drunk, my legs and arms were completely stiff and tingly and my chest was burning from the inside. This was really intense for 2 weeks and some of the symptoms slowly went away. It’s been three months now that I am on the drug and still vomit a lot and have really little appetite. My vision is still slow and I have an inner jitteriness in my whole body. I am also continuously horny when I come of my period and can masturbate multiple times a day (it is really annoying). I do not know what to do anymore, I feel like I am at the end of the rope. I always feel on edge/agitated and nothing feels good anymore. I have three options: - Continue taking Enlafax-XR and hope it will get better. - Stop taking Enlafax-XR cold turkey as it cannot be tapered and see what happens. - Switch to the real Effexor-XR, see if I can tolerate it and start decreasing the dosage. I am scared and have really little hope. I do not want to make things worst for myself by choosing the wrong next step…Any advices would be more than welcome. *I have been on multiple drugs over the years starting at 18 years old. Citalopram, Seroquel, Wellbutrin. I have not been on any of these for 10 years. Thank you so much.
  11. Hello everyone, This is my first post. I'm not even sure if there is anything you'll be able to do for me other than to offer a kind word. I evidently went too fast during my Effexor titration and have completely destabilized my central nervous system. I didn't realize it until recently, but I think my nervous system had already been sensitized by trying to come off of antidepressants two previous times. Starting in March 2020 I began what I thought was a slow titration of 10% per month of the Effexor. I started out at about 200 tiny beads and got down to 21. Then in September 2021 my central nervous system became completely destabilized and it hit me like a ton of bricks - adrenaline pumping through my body, severe anxiety/panic, and sleeplessness. I went to the ER three times for relief and took lorazepam and Vistaril because I was desperate for relief (I am currently not taking anything). I've had a couple nights since then that I've actually slept through the night, but most nights I feel so revved up that I can't sleep at all. I did add back in just a few tiny beads of the Effexor a couple weeks ago (I now take 30), but for the most part I am just going to hold steady and not make any more changes until I reach some form of stability. My life has been completely upended by this and I have felt suicidal many times. The only thing that gives me a glimmer of hope is the two nights that I actually slept through the night. Other than that, I've hardly slept at all. Every day has become a struggle to survive. I realize that I am on a long road to recovery and may never be fully free from the Effexor. I wanted to get off of it so I could treat my anxiety problems with more natural things, and now I'm dealing with more anxiety than I could ever imagine. It's a very sad irony. If I could turn back time I would never have started taking antidepressants 30 years ago. Any advice you could give me would be appreciated because I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now and didn't sleep a wink last night because I felt so revved up.
  12. Hi, I am is 41 years old. I was on Venlafaxine XR for my vestibular migraine in 2019 to 2021. My dosage was 37.5 mg one tablet every 3rd day which was suggested by my neurologist as i was getting hives from taking the medicine. For my hives I was taking half tablet of Allerga M (Montelukast 10mg + Fexofenadine 120mg) twice a week. I took Venlafaxine XR for 1.5 years and Allerga M for 2 years and then CT it as all my vestibular migraine symptoms had gone away. When i CT from venlafaxine I did not get any withdrawal symptoms for 9 months. Then after 9 months in June 2022 my vestibular migraine symptoms (swaying, light and sound sensitivity, unstable feeling, surroundings looking dim and blurred vision) came back, I tried to re-introduce Venlafaxine XR again but on taking just one tablet after 9 months my occipital area started paining and i started getting internal trembling inside my body. I still tried taking it the very next day too but had the same issue so stopped taking it and went to the neurologist. The neurologist then tried paroxetine (1 tablet) which didn’t suit me and so he then tried the following medicines -prednisolone (steroid 1 tablet), betahistine (2 tablets), flunarizine (half tablet) and all the above made my condition even worse as she started getting leg jerks while sleeping which i wasn’t getting before with my vestibular migraine symptoms. Then the neurologist finally said lets try Venlafaxine XR again as that has helped me in the past in 2019 and inspite of hearing I was having trouble taking it told me to try it again. Then when I tried Venlafaxine XR again i started getting brain zaps and myoclonic jerks and my stomach and vagina started making loud noises. This had never happened before so i stopped Venlafaxine XR and went back to the neurologist. He then prescribed a Benzo - Alprazolam (1 tablet) which i didn’t feel well on as my heart started racing rapidly and i had chest pain as well so then i went back the next day and he gave me Sodium Valproate (anti epileptic medicine) and told me not to come back and see a psychiatrist. Then that night when i took the sodium valproate tablet a glass breaking sound while swallowing started in my ears and my brain and hip started thumping so i stopped the medicine on 17th August 2022 immediately. Then on 19th August 2022 as i had Covid symptoms especially cough and sore throat i took a cough syrup which was Dilo DX syrup (Chlorpheniramine maleate with Dextromethorphan hydrobromide) 5 ML, this is when my entire symptoms changed for the worse. My occipital area started shaking internally and my vestibular symptoms went away. As I was still having covid symptoms like cough and sore throat she took Lecope AD (Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - 1 tablet while the shaking in the occipital area still continued. I couldn’t understand what the internal shaking was for a week but as they were not stopping and as per the instructions of the neurologist I finally met with a psychiatrist. I was also exposed to green fungus around the same time in the house as it was rainy season here in Mumbai (India). The psychiatrist ordered an MRI of the brain which was clear. After that i met various psychiatrists and neurologists who said this was Functional or somatic symptoms of depression and they tried to stop the internal shaking or vibrations with the below class of medicines which made my condition even more worse as I was unable to tolerate any medications because my nerves used to pull and pain and my internal shaking/tremors used to increase on taking every medication. I used to then discontinue the medication after 2 to 3 tablets. Below is the class of medications tried on me since August 2022 till date:- (Small doses of each medication was tried and discontinued) YEAR – 2022 · Provanol 20 MG (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) - Half tablet - Beta blocker. · Nexito 5 mg (escitalopram)- Half tablet – SSRI Antidepressant · Provanol 10 MG – (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) Half tablet - 2 days - Beta blocker. · Rejunex CD 3 - Multivitamin · Folinext (Folic Acid and methylcobalamin) - 1 tablet - Vitamin · Homeopathy medicine – GAVE EXTERNAL TREMORS · Zapiz 0.25 mg (clonazepam) Half tablet – 3 days – Benzodiazepine. · Provanol 2.5 mg (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) – 3 days - Beta blocker. · Tynept 12.5 mg (Tianeptine) – Half tablet for 2 days - Dibenzoxazepine Antidepressant · Mirtaz 7.5 mg (Mirtzpine) - Half tablet – Tetracyclic Antidepressant · Synaptol 50 mg (Tolperisone hydrochloride) - Half tablet - Muscle relaxer. · Gabapin 100 mg (Gabapentin tablet IP) - Half tablet - Antiepileptic · Homeopathy medicine · Ayurvedic medicine · Evion - LC - Half tablet (Vitamin) · Solopose - MD 0.25 mg (Etizolam) - Half tablet - Benzodiazepine. YEAR - 2023 · 10th Jan - Ascoril D plus ( Dextromethorphan hydrobromide + phenylephrine hydrochloride + Chlorpheniramine maleate) - 5ML - Took it for dry cough · 11th Jan - Lecope AD ( Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - 1 tablet for 4 days – Took it for sore throat · 16th Jan - Nurewire Tablet - 1 tablet (Vitamin) · 23rd Jan - Cetzine (cetrizine) - 2.5 MG - Antihistamine · 25th Jan - Pacitane 2 MG – Half tablet (Trihexyphenidyl) - Anticholinergic medication · 27th Jan - Allegra 180 - Half tablet (Fexofenadine) - Antihistamine · 1st Feb to 3rd Feb - Atrest 12.5 mg -Half tablet (Tetrabenazine) – Vesicular Monoamine Transporter 2 inhibitor · 6th & 7th Feb - Benadryl syrup - 2 ML – Cough syrup · 8th & 9th Feb - Supradyn - 1 tablet - Multivitamin · 14th & 15th Feb - Practin syrup 2 ML (Cyproheptadine) - Antihistamines · 18th Feb - Allegra 180 - Half tablet · 21st & 22nd Feb - Mentat (Himalaya Ayurveda) · 28th Feb - Allegra M ( Montelukast 10mg + Fexofenadine 120mg) – Half tablet Leukotriene antagonist and antiallergic medicine · 2nd & 3rd March - Atarax 5 mg - Half tablet (Hydroxyzine) - Antihistaminic medication · 6th March - Pramipex 0.125 mg - Half tablet (Pramipexole ) - Dopamine agonists · 9th March - 1 CBD Gummy · 10th March - Levocet 2.5 MG (Levocetirizine) - Antihistamine · 11th March - Buspin 2.5 MG (Buspirone) - Anxiolytics · 14th March - Levocet - Half of 2.5 MG · 16th March - Levocet - Half of 2.5 MG · 21st March - Bilagra 3 MG (Bilastine) - Antihistamine · HOSPITALISED on 23rd March to 30th March - Vantaxa 5 MG (Vortioxetine) – Half tablet for 1 day - serotonin modulator and stimulator Antidepressant then Prothaden 25 MG (Dosulepin) – Half tablet for 1 day + quarter tablet for 3 days. - Tricyclic antidepressant · 1st , 3rd , 5th & 7th April - Opiprol 50 MG (Opipramol) – quarter tablet - Tricyclic antidepressant · 8th April to 6th May - Lecope AD ( Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - Mucolytic, Antihistamines and Nasal decongestants – Took it for Sore throat · 10th May - 1 drop of Rudra Taila (CBD drops) · 15th to 22nd May - Metolar 25 MG - Half tablet (Metoprolol Tartrate tablets IP) - Beta-blockers. · 25th & 26th May - Homeopathy medicine (3 pills) · 13th to 15th June - Homeopathy medicines · 16th to 21st June – Neksium 40 mg ( Esomeprazole tablets I.P ) – 3 tablets – Proton pump inhibitor and Motilium M (Domperidone tablets I.P) – 3 tablets- Dopamine-2 receptor antagonist · 26th June - Homeopathy medicine · 14th July to 22nd July – Oflox 200 MG - Ofloxacin Tablets I.P – Antibiotic · 26th July – Gabawin 25 MG – Quarter Tablet (Pregabalin) – Antiepileptic · 30th July – Deslor 5 mg - Quarter tablet - Desloratadine- Antihistaminic medication · 8th August - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) – She takes half tablet of Allegra 180 every 3 days for her hives till date. · 30th August – 1 Meftal spas (Dicyclomine (10mg) & Mefenamic Acid (250mg) Anticholinergic and NSAID · 11th September - Homeopathy medicine + Half of Meftal 500 (Mefenamic Acid) · 3rd & 4th October – Half of Syndopa plus (Levodopa (100mg) + Carbidopa (25mg) - Antiparkinson agent · 6th October - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) · 7th October – 1 + ½ Lecope AD (Ambroxol (60mg) + Phenylephrine (5mg) + Levocetirizine (5mg) Mucolytic, Antihistamines and Nasal decongestants – Took it for Sore throat AND 2 tablets of Lanol ER (Paracetamol 650mg) - Analgesic (pain reliever) and anti-pyretic (fever reducer) · 23rd October – 1 tablet of NOW - Saccharomyces Boulardii probiotic – 5 billion CFU · 26th October – 1 tablet of Pan 40 (Pantoprazole Gastro resistant tablets IP ) - Proton pump inhibitor · 27th October - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) · 28th October – 1 tablet of Nexpro 40 (Esomeprazole magnesium tablets I.P AND 1/4th tablet of Gastractiv 10mg (DOMPERIDONE) - dopamine antagonist · 29th October - 1 tablet of Nexpro 40 (Esomeprazole magnesium tablets I.P - Proton pump inhibitor (Took for 10 days). My current symptoms since 15 months are:- Internal tremors running from head to toe, involuntary movements, nerves pull and pain on taking any medication, pacing, electrical sensitivity to electronics, tingling in hands and feet, burning of skin, external tremors, pain in my occipital area and neck, pulsating at the base of the head which goes down to my entire body. The neurologists did various tests like MRI of cervical spine, F DOPA PET Scan – Brain, Various blood tests, Whole Genome Sequencing (Genetic testing) and all were clear.They then officially diagnosed me with Functional Neurological Disorder (conversion disorder). Currently I can barely walk and im homebound for 15 months now. I currently take only my thyroid medication which is Thyroxine 112 mcg every morning before breakfast – 1 tablet and half tablet of Allegra 180 MG (fexofenadine) – once a week for Hives. The diagnosis that I have received from most neurologist and psychiatrist is that I have Functional neurological disorder (conversion disorder) or Depression and my symptoms are somatic. But I feel this could Kindling or Akathisia or Serotonin syndrome or Mast cell activation or Mold or Long Covid or Withdrawal from the rapid trial and error of medicines but no doctor is ready to help me or give me clarity as to what is wrong with me and why no medication is working on my body? I have tried counselling, EMDR, CBT, DBT, Physiotherapy, ayurvedic, homeopathy and every allopathy medicine possible but my condition doesn’t improve and im really suffering with the physical symptoms especially internal shaking/tremors. I have no idea what has gone wrong and no doctors in India help and they all have put their hands up. Currently no medication/ supplements works on my body and only makes my condition worse. Can someone please tell me what exactly am i suffering from? And is there any cure? I feel helpless and lost as as I have tried everything in my reach and my condition is getting worse day by day. Please Help and Guide me. Thank you so much in advance.
  13. Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.
  14. I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.
  15. Hi Everyone, I am just going to jump right into this. I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance. I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal. I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess. I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you.
  16. I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years
  17. HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz
  18. Hi everyone, first of all, I want to thank every contributor to this website which is a huge source of advices and hope. I started to read some interesting threads, and I regret so much to discover them only after my (awful) withdrawal. Here is my short story: terrible panic attacks started in 2008 when I was a young adult. At that time, social medias were not developed like now, psychiatric matters were still very taboo. Information was not spread like today. I guess this is why I spent several months alone in the darkness, without understanding what was happening to me. I finally found a psychiatrist who started an analytic psychotherapy with me. This man was calamitous. His 'therapy' ruined me during several months, reinforcing my anxiety at so high levels. Then, I found another psychiatrist who saved my life: he started a CBT which lowered my anxiety by at least 50% in a few weeks. But he also decided to prescribe me Effexor (Venlafaxine) as a 'medicinal crutch'. Well, it worked and offered me a pretty good quality of life during 15 years. I recently stopped Venlafaxine because I had to pass a medical exam for work. I knew they would seek for illicit substances in blood and urine samples (cannabis, cocaine, etc...). I was not sure about antidepressants (not really forbidden but it could have unnecessarily complicated my case) but I preferred to withdraw the medication. It was also time to try to stop after 15 years (I never understood why antidepressants are prescribed all life long). My psychiatrist supported me and told me to stop abruptly (my daily dose was 75 mg + 37.5 mg). I knew I am sensitive to discontinuation (brain zaps in my past when I forgot my medication for a day or a week-end outside). So I decided to taper myself during 1 month and a half. Of course I was not aware about survivingantidepressants.org so my plan was way too much optimistic ! From 75+37.5 to 50 mg no problem. Slight physical symptoms + weird dreams + a few anxious peaks. But below 25 mg, the hell began. The intense physical symptoms lasted 2 weeks. Severe brain zaps, nausea, diarrhea, dizziness. My psychiatrist told me I was his FIRST patient with so long and accute withdrawal syndrom ! I couldn't believe my eyes. I trusted this guy at 100% before. I was furious against him. But I read on internet that yes, it is unbelievable, but this frequent severe withdrawal syndrom was never studied by the pharmaceutical labs, psychiatrists seem to ignore it, etc... Well, after the physical symptoms ceased (2 weeks after 0 mg), I started to feel bad emotionally: drop in mood, no envy for anything, growth of anxiety, very bad sleep and weird feeling in the legs every evening, like slow waves of electricity, very disturbing for sleeping. I understand that return of anxiety is logical. But this drop in mood, this feeling of empty head and those weird feelings in the leg with very bad sleeps are very new. I've stopped Venlafaxine 1 month and a half now and it's getting worse. So I am wondering, is this a 'relapse' as they call it ? Or still the effect of the too much suddain withdrawal ? Should I reinstate this damn drug or should I try to survive without it now it's done ? Of course I was certain that without this 'medicinal crutch' I could meet anxious moments like I had 15 years ago. But while I was taking Venlafaxine several years ago, I already had 2 major anxious periodes. So, feeling so bad immediately after the withdrawal, plus the unusual symptoms, is it only a coincidence ? It was so hard to stop this drug that I want to try continuing without it now. Eventually with the help of benzos time to time (I never tried it) rather than reinstating such devastating antidepressants. I know that every case is unique but I would appreciate to know your opinion about my description
  19. Hello, I'm new to this forum and I'm working toward tapering off of 225 mg of venlafaxine. I am a 70 year old male, that has been very active and health conscious. My weakness has been depression. I previously had two periods of feeling depressed that involved obtaining an antidepressant from my general practice doctor. I would get to the point of feeling spacey and or lethargic, then do talk therapy to get back off of the drug. These where phase one antidepressants, and I would taper off slow over say 4 to 6 months without noticeable side effects. These events occurred between 2005 to 2008 per notes I still have. I retired from Highway Engineering March 1, 2014. Many emotional events piled upon me during the next five months. The stressors where; retiring and adjustment period, daughter coming home to live with us and get a divorce, a vicious son in law (being divorced), one or two other more minor stressors that I do not recall, and a huge spiritual crisis in which I felt I had not lived as graciously as God would have wanted me to. In July 2014 I became fixated on thinking about all these things. I sat in a stupor for days, lost 15 pounds, thought the devil was speaking and accusing me of my wrongs and tempted me to deny God and just die. My wife asked me If I had thought of suicide and I admitted that I had. She called 911 and got help. They took me to a hospital and put me on suicide watch till they could transfer me to a psych ward for treatment. I was confined for a week and given many medications. I also had a physical problem that they dealt with. I was released to an out-patient psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told me he would take me off all the previous medications except for increasing my dose of venlafaxine to 225 mg. I have been on venlafaxine for four (4) years. In May 2018 I stopped drinking all alcohol and also stopped experimenting with legalized cannabis. I quickly felt a bit more energy. I put this energy toward searching the internet for information about venlafaxine and antidepressants. I have learned much, but still want to keep learning. My Psychiatris agreed to allow me to get off Venlafaxine October 4, 2017, after telling him repeatedly about my desire to and why. He reduced my venlafaxine from 225 mg to 150 mg. The short of it is that I did not make it, and went back to the full dose. After learning more about how to decrease slowly, I am ready to try again. I have sought the help of my general practice doctor, who is supportive and has reduced me to 187.5 mg. Since I know that a 10% reduction is better, I cut open a 37.5 mg capsule, counted the beads, and took 40% of those beads, 15, and added them to the 187.5 mg, for a new total of 202.5 mg. I'm also taking daily notes of my physical and mental state, and dosage. I will see my general practice doctor monthly. I will be also talking to my Psychiatrist about my plans. I plan to start talk therapy also. Does anyone have any advise or comments?
  20. Hello all, first thank you for this really helpful forum. I started taking Venlafaxine 150 back in 2016. Later in 2018 i started tapering it off with 5-10% rule. In 2020 I arrived finally at 50mg. At this point however I got strong withdrawal symptoms even with 5%. I learned then about the Prozac bridge method and i thought I give it a try. So i am now off the Venlafaxine for about 2 months and now i only take Fluoxetine 13mg. However I still have some withdrawal problems from the venlafaxine 2 months later. It is not that bad, but mostly my brain is hurting headache and strange feelings and tingeling at my brain. I think I will now stay on the Prozac 13mg until the problems go away and then see how fast i can taper the prozac. Or would you say it would be better to go back to the Venlafaxine after 2 months now already because of the symptoms, I am now afraid that those will last years as I have read on some other cold turkey cases. Thanks NightWarrior
  21. Hi, I'm a long term anti-depressant user, I've been on them since I was 13 and am now 31. Here's a breakdown of my drug history. Fluoxitine 2006 (13 yrs old) - 2011 Citalopram 2011 - 2016 Fluoxitine 2016 - 2017 Venlafaxine/Effexor 125mg 2017 - 2023 Venlafaxine/Effexor 75mg 2023 - 2024 Withdrawal from 75mg Effexor Feb 2024 I've had varying degress of success with them throughout the years but because of anxiety and ADHD I've had periods where I have just lived with the depression and anxiety symptoms they were supposed to be helping with. However, recently I've taken steps to actually pay attention and attempt to 'fix' my brain and get better. I didn't feel able to do this until I was in a stable job, relationship and living situation which I felt I was finally in June last year. At that time I'd not had a depressive episode for a full year and my anxiety was at an all time low. I decided to speak to my GP about this and we both decided that dropping down to 75mg Effexor would be beneficial. We decided this because while the depression and anxiety was low I felt that my cognitive abilities were being hampered by the Effexor. I would often experience brain fog, memory issues, very low motivation, almost zombie-like states where I'd just go through the motions of each day not really taking anything in and I wanted that to stop. After the drop down to 75mg between June 2023 and Jan/Feb 2024 I've felt a slight return in my emotions (Both positive and negative ones), less brain fog and more general alertness and actually 'experiencing' life again. I'd continued to not have any adverse side effects and very few episodes of depression/anxiety, especially nothing like I'd experienced in the past. After speaking to my GP again they suggested I come off Effexor completely and I agreed, as many do, without doing any research. In Jan they told me to start tapering off by alternating the days I take my medication until stopping after a month. I've done that now and stopped taking my last pill of 75mg prolonged-release capsules of venlafaxine hydrochloride on 2nd Feb 2024. It's now a month later and after feeling very little adverse side effects, no brain zaps, anxiety or depression, slight headaches, slight dizziness and slight tinitus I've suddenly as of last week started feeling intense anxiety and some depression continuously since then. I've tried to manage this with Propranolol which has slightly helped by not entirely removed the anxiety. I have been through therapy multiple times and have some coping techniques but this mostly seems like GAD rather than me worrying or being down about anything in particular. I first put a thread up on Reddit to see what I'd done wrong and was pointed to this community and introduced to the concept of microdose reinstating and that how my GP recommended I come off Effexor was bad. Hopefully I can get some more advice on what to do as I appear to be on the cusp of it being too late to reinstate and that possibly just riding out the withdrawal symptoms would be best. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.
  22. I’ve been weaning Venlafaxine XR since August 2023. I’m currently down to 37.5 plus 31 beads. The biggest symptom I’m experiencing lately is paranoia. Or maybe they are delusions. Insomnia is slowly improving, dizziness has improved. I’m not eating much, have diarrhea a lot and these intrusive thoughts are overwhelming my brain! I’m wondering how long this will last. I previously weaned off Klonopin and experienced paranoia while weaning as well. Is paranoia a common withdrawal symptom when weaning from antidepressants, as it’s not listed on the checklist. My husband calls what I’m experiencing delusions, so maybe that’s what they are more than paranoia. It seems like it’s much worse in the evenings. Maybe when the Venlafaxine has worn off? I take my daily dose nightly at 10pm.
  23. Hello, let me introduce myself. My name is Tom, I´m 45 and I struggle 6 years with anxiety/depression. I think it si time to take different aproach because I have no real success with drugs. I have been in several therapies(CBT, group, individual) which help to some degree . Coping strategies are very usefull. I´m staiyng in individul therapy now. I was always irritable person with some perfectionism and litlle anxiety(difficult childhood, rejection) .My story begins in 2014, five years after our son was born. In that period me and my wife have been in constant stress and sleep deprivation raising our baby(birth health issues) and work issues. One year before my breakdown my wife had unexpected abortion with second baby, after that she had to go back to work. It started one year of relationship crisis on top of all that stress. So on summert vacation after long, problematic flight I collapsed in hotel room with panic. Spent couple fo days in hospital in possibility of apendixitidis(psychosomatic reaction). After return home I was put on SSRI and it was total hell and it put me in a place of doom. Since then I didnt recover to previous state. I tried multiple drugs, sometimes in combinations. The higher dose or drug combination , I feel exponentially worse. Years of despair. I don´t have normal response to psych. drugs (except benzos). I have lost several good jobs because I cant stand to much stress and had breakdowns after few weeks at work. No I have dissabilty status and working as gardener in company for people with mental health isuues(almost a year, so big progress). In those years I left my wife so many times and came back. I think I lived in toxic relationship.My wife cheated on me few moths after i have been diagnoised, so it take a big toll on my already bad mental health. I was trouble for her, not feeling real compassion and willing to help me. I was annoying her. We tried to make our marriage work but It didn´t happend. Now we live separatedly 8 months and facing divorce after 20 years together. I can see my son every week which helps. I have to deal with loneliness, never lived alone before, now in different town where only my mother lives. No friends around(lost most of them during my illness). But! I feel better now than six years ago, i think time and therapy helps, not so sure about meds. I know I´m sensitive to normal life stressors, which I try to minimize but facing them. I want to make some progress towards recovery. I spend as much time in nature as I can. I take suplements (B vitamins, magnesium citrate, fish oil). I´m trying to solve relationship issues. My doc is pushing me to take higher doses even if i feel it doesnt help and keep telling him. After all that years with no succes I believe there shoud be some different aproach. So i make some tappering on my own but i don´t want to mess it up. I now take 50mg of Trazodone and 50mg of Lamotrigine plus 0,5mg of Clonazepam per need. I have good days and bad days. I have not been stable for longer period last six years, I have mood swings. Hiking and biking helps me the most. And keep my anxious mind busy, but it´s exhausting. Any advice for me please? Tom
  24. Orignal full title before shortening: 2 Months of lowest dose Mirtazapine, sufferin now for over 2,5 months of withdrawal I would set my signature up properly, but I just can't remember anything. Remeron/Mirtazapine withdrawal still leaves me with such a messed up memory that remembering only 2 things at a time causes me great problems. I can't tell which month I took my Effoxor back then, I'm not even sure about the year. Though I keep great track of the Remeron withdrawal, so at least I can tell that. If you don't want to read the whole story, I categorized the "drug" part in the Drugs section below. There is still some life story though. For the start, I'm currently 18 years old and a female. I was twice in mental hospitals seeking help for a problem that was solved with - you won't believe me - one sentence by my mom. One sentence just cured my whole condition. It may sound incredibly ridiculous, but seriously all of this that you'll read wouldn't have happened if somebody told me this one sentence at the very beginning. And I'm incredibly mad because of this, as I suffered and endured so much pain through the years because everybody was so desperate to prove that I had depression. At 13 years old I had a panic attack caused by a certain phobia which I mistook for suicidal thoughts. I admitted myself to a mental hospital to stay safe, as I was greatly scared that I would harm or kill myself. I spend there 1,5 months and they diagnosed PCOS-Syndrome (hormone problems) and "mild depression". They said I should spend more time with peers, as seemingly it was caused by having an inactive social life (I was quite the outsider at school and would remain. Not because I was shy or something, I was just always such an emotional-artist personality and had interest in completely other things than others my age, so I couldn't connect. Famous people or make-up didn't bother me at all.) On the contraceptive I felt much better, though it made me sleepy, but I needed, need and will probably always need it for without it my body completely breaks down, as the hormone imbalance is severe (more on that later). The phobia-episodes stayed away, emerging randomly for a few minutes sometimes but very rare, until age 15. I think the episode lasted there for half a year and little longer? They acted like panic attacks, up to 3-4 times a day and some days I was free from it. But I endured it, and though it may sound scary, looking back it actually wasn't so bad as I made it out to be when I went through it. At age 13 the panic attacks were much more rarer, you'll see why. So when I had those panic attacks, and I wondered why they were there, they seemed to have no cause, I blamed it on the contraceptives. So I was switched to another one, but I got very irritable on it and punched a wall for the first time ever in my life (I'm quite the peaceful person). The gynecologist didn't want to switch me on another contraceptive (as she was paid by this certain brand to only sell this one - literally posters of this contraceptive brand and calendars and cards everywhere in her place), so I stopped taking it. After few months, not many, my body began breaking down. I was dizzy most of the time, nauseated, I was constantly, literally constantly hungry, didn't have appetite though for anything, I was so fatigued I would sleep literally nearly the whole day, couldn't go to school, couldn't do anything really, and had quite the anhedonia. That was the worst, the anhedonia. Hormones can really, really do lots. Didn't have period for the whole year of no pill either. When my panic episodes (that I always called mistakenly suicidal episodes), returned I seeked help again desperately - and was admitted to a mental hospital again which mas psychosomatic in kind and didn't treat cases like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. 4,5 months there and no improvement, in fact, I got worse there. The therapist there was also a complete idiot and made just everything worse. He blamed my condition on the family (he'd wish he'd have such a deep bond with his mother), he blamed it on literally everything and called it "depression" all the time, though at the end of 4,5 months they still had no diagnosis because I literally did all paper tests they had and in all of them came out a very low scale of depression. They couldn't identify the cause at all. At first they thought Cyclothymia, then bipolar II, then depression, then this, then that, 4,5 months later we haven't got anywhere. Funny thing is, the therapist wasn't even fully licenced yet. He attended "further education" about psychotherapy. He barely knew anything. The psychiatrists there neither, because they told that "hormones can't do such a thing". Haha. I can attest they really, really do. I should have noticed he was not alright in the head after a few weeks when he told me I had sexual problems because I wasn't interested in sex enough. "Normally, people your age try around their sexuality with friends or so..." no thank you, I'll have my dignity. Next, I had an "oversensitive mother". She "worried too much." Who wouldn't about their child that has been unwell so long? "Normally people your age should go partying at night, and your mother doesn't let you..." first, I don't want to go thank you, second, yes, partying until 01:00 am somewhere in somewhere seems very safe and plausible. But my father who didn't care about me my whole life is the best one! The therapist tried to get me away more from my mother so I would get closer to my father and forgive him for not knowing "how to be a father", which I didn't do which again frustrated my therapist, and with every session he grew more frustrated that he couldn't manipulate me. Everything I spoke about in therapy I told my parents (especially mom), and everything that she spoke about with him in visits she told me. My therapist said he can't do proper therapy with me if I tell everything my parents. He sees a lack of "privacy" in this family. Everyone should have "secrets". What was unnormal to him is that we only have locks on bathrooms and on no other door. "I should be able to lock my door", he said. Which, if he really thinks I have depression, is the most stupid thing you can say. I won't even mentoin the documents I got when I got out of the hospital that he wrote, seriously you wouldn't believe what is written on it. -------------------- Drugs So after 4,5 months of no getting better, no improvement but worsening, they placed me on 37.5mg Effoxor which I responded to extremely quickly and really, really well. Within a few hours nearly my whole condition was gone. Even they were surprised that it acted so quickly, and that already the first one suited me so well, as usually people have to try around to find one that is good for them. Whether placebo or not, it did the thing it was supposed to do - so well that pharma companies could show me as an example of "miracle drugs". (I'm very sensitive to medications/caffeine etc., so I'm not surprised that a low dose works so strong on me). I had also very few side effects. I was placed a few days later on 75mg, and then my whole condition was gone. When I asked if antidepressants really numb feelings, the lead doctor said "no, the depression does that." Tells about everything you have to know about him. On my last visit to my therapist I told him they did nothing, only the drugs helped me. That he didn't like of course and in the documents I was counterargumentet that I "eagerly took part in all of their offered therapies". Yes, it was so boring there that I attended even courses that others couldn't go to and I went in their place instead. If we hadn't any courses - music, physiotherapy - I would take hour long walks with the others because else I woulg go crazy sitting there and doing nearly nothing. They wanted to keep me longer there, but I said "no", as fast as possible out of this place, they were all not alright in the head. And I got really fast out because my mother stormed in and shoved such arguments up their faces, especially my therapist, that he started shuddering. The locks, the "sexual problems", she had no mercy with words. Twenty minutes later I was out. A very few months later we went to another gynecologist, who is a fantastic one. There the PCOS syndrome was diagnosed again, and I was put on contraceptives again (my third) - I responded very well to this one. Unlike the first one, which was good too, this one didn't make me sleepy and I can function to this day without midday sleeps, which I needed on the first one. After half year of Effoxor I had to see my psychiatrist again, as the longer I was on the pill, the greater the "freezing headache" and numbing of the antidepressant came to light. Theory I strongly believe in, again THEORY - this was because the more I gained hormonal balance, the greater the serotonine etc. production functioned again and my body functioned more normally again - meaning, I didn't need the effoxor anymore and it started doing a little more harm than good now. So I was put off it, I was told to taper, but stupid me wanted so badly the numbing to go away that I did cold turkey. And compared to other cold turkeys I read, this one wasn't so bad. Dizziness, very strong headache, a bit of vomiting, that's all. On the second or third day though I took a 37.5mg pill again and tapered this time, opening the capsule and putting the little tablets out of it until only one of the little was inside. Then I had a week or two of mild withdrawal and it was over. As I said, poster girl for pharma with this drug. This year, 2022, on February my "suicidal episode" came back - and it didn't came back like before - this time it hit, at the same time, with such a panic attack that I hyperventilated so badly I got severe twitches and my eyes rolled up and teeth shuddered etc. an ambulance had to be called. They knew it was hyperventilating and I was calmed down with reduced breathing, because too much oxygen. It worked. But now I was left with such anxiety that I became extremely sleep deprived. When I visited my psychiatrist again (I had to wait 2 days for the emergency visit to him), he wasn't able to offer much help besides "taking up an antidepressant again". I said no, no antidepressants anymore. I asked for sleeping aid, so I would get a bit of rest after being much sleep deprived for two-three days. So he gave me a sleeping pill. Without telling me it's an antidepressant. Later I found out it is an antidepressant. Thank you very much. So I was given Remeron/Mirtazapine 7.5mg. When I started it, I became greatly suicidal, with urges to kill my myself and immense hopelesness that was drug-induced. During this time I seriously thought about assisted suicide (and still a bit traumatized because of it, as I never, never had before sucidal thoughts - the suicidal episodes were mistaken, I'll explain later.) I wanted to stop it after two days, but my mom said they need a bit of time to settle and then it'll get better. And it did, the suicidality vanished. I slept much more on it, not very much as since years I had disrupted sleeping, but this time only once a night and I fell asleep quite fast after that. Now, what is important to mentoin as it happened during the taking of mirtazapine, and I had one of those "suicidal episodes" my mom told me - this was the one sentence that cured me - "that it seems like I'm not depressed or anything, but scared." Boom. Done. It all went away. As I googled later, I found out what I had all the time was "Suicidal OCD - an intense fear of suicide and intrusive thoughts about suicide which leave the individual disturbed and distressed." This was also why the episodes got more intense and frequent in time - the more I was scared of it, the more intense it became. When I was distracted, it wasn't there. I remember when blood was taken from me it would disappear for a while, I remember the more hopeful I was the more it disappeared. All in my head. Ones own head, illusion can cause such suffering... fascinating. And indeed, the second I realized this was only a fear and not actual suicidal thoughts, all disappeared. And didn't come back. A few weeks later I would know the difference between this and actual sucidal thoughts. I was very alright on Mirtazapine, had feelings and so on, was myself pretty much. Problem was, the longer I took it the more paranoid-anxious I became (along with more and more damaged short-term memory), which would make me stop it after 2 months - and also by another event. I took CBD oil (I consulted it of course with my psychiatrist first), for it to help me further as maybe this would help my sleeping problems and I could get off mirtazapine. And I took the two together, and mirtazapine didn't react well to it. Got extremely anxious and with semi-suicidal feelings, kind of like when I first took it but half so bad- so I stopped the oil after three days of no improvement, but fast forward a half week later and the symptoms don't go away. So I had to stop taking mirtazapine, on 4th April. At first I became a bit hypomanic, my senses were sharp as never before, adrenal-like, nothing negative much. It went away after two days and was replaced by huge anxiety. It was lowering continuously over the course of one month, and I thought "not so bad", at the end, at first it was bad, but it was going away. 6th of May, it hit, and it hit really, really hard. I never felt this suicidal, it was like when I started taking it but 3x worse. It was accompanied by dizziness, intense nausea, extreme brain fog, anxiety, memory was non-existent, hopelessness rose to 900%, apathy, no feelings. Half of the day I thought about suicide and the other half of the day I was flat, kind of existing. The suicidality was intense, I could think about nothing else - it was nothing like the OCD I had, now I could really, really distinguish between illusion and actual suicidal thoughts. I felt, and still feel such regret of ever taking any antidepressant, I never was so scared about my future before, never regretted something so much. After one, two weeks it started gradually falling and the suicidality went kind of away, along with nausea, etc. What was left was the brain frog, numbness, impaired memory. But it got better over time, and I knew from the beginning it was withdrawal else I would probably have got psychotic about this. Now, a few days ago, second wave hit. Suicidality (but half so bad this time), now I have weird skin sensations sometimes, still much numb (I can cry very well though, I just don't feel the sadness, but the feelings are still there, hidden somewhere.) Brain fog, short-term memory still doesn't exist. Again, intense regret, I'm still so scared it won't end or I will suffer permanent damage, even though it was just 2 months and the lowest dose. What is optimistic though, for the first time since these 2.5 months I responded emotionally to music which opened a window, and I was cycling recently between withdrawal-window-withdrawal. But the fear of no end and permanent damage is still there, and thinking only about the slightest good memory from childhood makes me tip over into intense crying, as I'm so afraid that I lost now everything. There are so many things I still want to do, finish school, a good university etc., and I will only be able to forgive myself and forget if it all ends well, with as little damage as possible. Reassurement of "it was only such a short time, such a low dose, it won't damage you..." leaves me only with a bit of hope. In the past month I read so much about neuroplasticity and learned so much about the true face of psychiatry (especially through "Anatomy of an Epidemic"), and it left me in bewilderment and anger. Had I knew, then I would have never taken it. Never, no matter what and I never will take anything of it ever again. I only found about long-term use damage, so I guess from 2 months and lowest dose I will recover? I found in the Anatomy book that for antipsychotics, the rule is 2 months recovery for 1 month use, and only at the period of over a year or so it might cause permanent damage. I hope it is better for antidepressants, especially since I read so many horror stories I cried about with immense fear, and many I read with hope who came off after 20 years of various antidepressants and recovered well to 100% themselves. Often the knowledge about neuroplasticity, neurogenesis and success stories keep me sane. Incredible what 2 month use of the lowest dose can cause. If it shall end in 5 months, I will endure. I'm extremely endurable, all my life I've proven it. But there is this uncertainity, and it won't let me sleep at times.
  25. Hello everyone. I'm a 42-year-old man living in Wales, UK. I've decided to join the site after recently watching the BBC Panorama documentary on antidepressants. Watching the documentary made me realise that I've been living in self-denial for more than a decade about the negative, lasting impact that SSRIs and SNRIs have had on my health and wellbeing. I believe it's my public duty to document my experience, which I hope can be used as further evidence of the damaging side effects of these medications and help my children's generation make an informed choice - something that I was denied. I was first prescribed Citalopram in 2011 following a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder. I was reluctant to start taking antidepressants. I remember expressing this reluctance to my doctor and his blunt response was: "well, what else do you expect me to do?". His message was clear: antidepressant medication was the only option available. There was no discussion about psychological therapy. What's more, the doctor did not explain the risk of potential side effects or difficulties with withdrawal before I started antidepressants. I was implicitly led to believe there were no downsides, only benefits. I therefore relented and began taking Citalopram. As it turned out, I didn't experience any noticeable side effects on Citalopram. However, I didn't experience any noticeable benefits either. In fact, between 2011 and 2018 my depression worsened over time. The medical community's response was to incrementally increase the dosage of Citalopram, but it didn't make any difference. The only reason I continued with antidepressants was because I'd finally found a doctor I'd trusted. Her view, which she said was based on evidence from medical research, was that a combination of medication and psychotherapy was shown to have the best results for depression. I took her advice. Things changed suddenly and drastically in early 2018 when I experienced an acute mental breakdown. I was admitted to a specialist inpatient psychiatric unit. The first thing the consultant psychiatrist did was review my medication history and immediately switched me to Venlafaxine. Again, I was not informed about the risk of potential side effects or difficulties with withdrawal. I wasn't given a choice, nevermind given the opportunity to make an informed choice. Unlike my experience with Citalopram, I started experiencing side effects almost immediately with Venlafaxine. My general sexual arousal was severely diminished and I struggled to achieve a full erection whether on my own or with a partner. I found this distressing, more so than my depression. I informed my doctor who told me sexual dysfunction was a common side effect of antidepressants. This was the first time since I’d started taking antidepressants seven years earlier that a medical professional had revealed there were potential risks in taking these medications. My doctor prescribed me Sildenafil, which while I accept did help, the quality of my sex life was far below what it was before. Sexual activity was no longer fun and spontaneous, but something to be managed and planned carefully. It was around 2019 when I decided that the detrimental impact of Venlafaxine on my sex life had become too severe and that I would come off it. I don’t recall the exact details of how I tapered, but I did so over about a period of 18 months from 225mg to 0mg. It was hell on earth. An experience that was completely unexpected and for which I was wholly unprepared. The withdrawal symptoms I experienced included: Severe headaches Disorientation Brain fog Lethargy Anxiety Diarrhea Despite the struggle I had with withdrawal from Venlafaxine, I persisted with tapering off. The eventual prize of a renewed and healthy sex life was too great to ignore. But… ...weeks and months passed after the Venlafaxine had left my system and I was still experiencing the same sexual dysfunction. I was devastated. Not only had the medical community failed to inform me of the risk of sexual side effects from taking antidepressants, but they’d also failed to inform me of the risk those sexual side effects could persist after tapering off them completely. Resigned to my sex life being ruined forever, I went back on Venlafaxine in 2021 on the advice of my doctor. I came off it in January 2023 after another long, painful tapering period beset by the same side effects as before. I was antidepressant-free between January 2023 and October 2023, but another mental health crisis sent me back to psychiatric care and I was given two new prescriptions of Vortioxetine (10mg) and Quetiapine (25mg). I stumbled across the BBC Panorama documentary just before Christmas. I was shocked, appalled and filled with rage. Why hadn’t the medical community explained any of this to me before I started taking antidepressants more than 10 years ago? I was denied the opportunity to make an informed choice. It’s a global scandal. After watching BBC Panorama, I made the firm decision to come off antidepressants/psychiatric medication for good. I tapered off Quetiapine first (25mg to 0mg) then tapered off the Vortioxetine (10mg, to 5mg, to 0mg). I did this over a period of about eight weeks. I took my final 5mg dose of Vortioxetine two weeks ago today. Thankfully, I’ve not experienced the same kind of severe withdrawal symptoms as I did with Venlafaxine. I’m having some trouble sleeping, but I wouldn’t describe it as severe. My sexual dysfunction persists. I’m coming to a place of acceptance that I may never fully recover the healthy, happy sex life I once enjoyed. But I live in hope. ---------------- Citalopram (2011 to 2018) Venlafaxine (2018 to Jan 2023) Quetiapine (Oct 2023 to Jan 2024 - tapered from 25mg to 0mg). Vortioxetine (Oct 2023 to Feb 2024 - tapered from 10mg, to 5mg to 0mg)
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