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Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.

My story is one that spans many years. I now look back and feel like a fool, but I own all the decisions. Started 20+ years ago when I had some stomach problems and went to a doctor. We went through Prilosac and an assortment of stomach drugs to no avail. Then he said try this, at that time it was Effexor in the shield style tablet. It was a miracle drug for my stomach condition, I guess I was worrying too much and causing an almost ulcerous condition and this stopped it. Well we can now fast forward a number of years and the drug was continuously refilled as I guess doctors are afraid to stop drugs like this and just avoid the subject...FYI I also stopped the pills numerous times over the years to see what would happen and I got through what I thought were the "withdrawals" slight dizziness etc. but I always started to get real anxious etc. so I just started them again and all was well. OK fast forward to a year ago where I had the great idea that maybe there was a better drug out there and asked my GP what he would recommend, he said Lexapro because he had the least amount of complaints about that one... I did not like it as I got all the anxiety and stuff that I had when I quit Effexor. I now understand it was likely Effexor withdrawal showing through. Anyhow I decided I needed a more professional opinion so I went to a psychiatrist and we talked and she changed me to Welbutrin and Rexulti. I tried that combo for a couple months while tripping around EU on vacation and it also seemed to let through the fear and doubt. So I went back and we then went on straight rexulti .5mg and that worked well for a couple months until I lost all interest and ability to worry about anything. This was 6 weeks ago and I quit Rexulti cold turkey and had no real effects until a bit of a anxiety started coming back, but not as bad I think as previous times. I also had calf cramps at night for 4 weeks which finally started subsiding. I was beginning to feel a bit normal but still quite negative about stuff, but I had definite glimpses of what I think are my real feeling come through (like 5 minutes at a pop) and I really liked that. but I was still not liking the anxiety I had etc. so I went out the the internet for help and came across this site, turned my world upside down. I am a pretty smart individual with a good profession and now I feel like a...let's just say I am sad and humiliated. I really never considered all the things I have now read about, I am a bit scared... Then with all my wisdom I decided to try to reintroduce the Effexor 75 (I have a stockpile of all meds) and see if I could then do the taper I have just been informed I need to do, or should have done. I did 5 bb's out of a TEVA 75mb Venlafaxine capsule that contained about 70. first day was great, all signs of dread were gone and I have confidence like I hadn't felt in weeks. Then day two I took another 5 beads (maybe 3 hours earlier in the day) and I felt like I had just lit all my rockets, I was off to the races, couldn't sit down, chest was tight etc...this went on all the way till bedtime and I didn't sleep much. so day 3 I decided I better not take any more of that and stopped that. I was pretty ill most of day 3, still golfed etc. but got chills and did not feel good at all. By the end of that day I was feeling a bit better, slept solidly for half the night. now I am on day 4, little nauseous this morning and decided to write this letter to all of you and bare my soul. I am unsure what to do - try the effexor for 4 days like things here say, did I take too many bb's? try going back on the Rexulti? I truly want off of all of this mess. I am fearing (lot's of reason for my bad sleep last night) that I am screwed and have no where to turn but to go through the heavy withdrawals. I have a life like I am sure all of you do and cannot or wish to not be bedridden etc. I like I said below am a bit worried about what the future has in store for me.

Hello all! After tapering, I stopped taking both Effexor and Welbutrin in August of this year. Although feeling overall more healthy without pumping these toxins into my body, I am finding the cognitive difficulties I am experiencing to be distressing. I feel that my memory and concentration have been severely impaired, and generally feel "dumb" and out of it. I've been taking fish oil and magnesium and go running several times per week. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this as well, and what helped improve these problems. Thank you!

I weened off my Welbutrin and almost done weening off my Lexapro. It took almost a year now but with a lot of time staying at the same dose (could've taken a lot shorter amount of time but procrastinated initiating dosage drop). Just wanted to let everyone know that I used 5 htp to help with withdrawal symptoms (mainly light headedness/ brain flashes). and it really helped. I basically stopped the Welbutrin cold turkey with taking about 200 - 300 mg of 5 htp for about a week then lowering the 5 htp dramatically and that really helped. The lexapro is harder but the 5 htp really helps. I don't come on this website often so I you guys are always already talking about 5 htp sorry for the redundancy. I just felt the responsibility to come on here and let everyone know. I was on Lexapro 20 mg and Welbutrin 300 mg and now I'm off. and my sex drive is back and I feel emotionally fine because they were probably a placebo in the first place. good luck

Here I am, lost and Confused as usual... I was mean to the one I love and scared him away to sleep on the couch... how many more times will he be able to take my emotions? Luckily, we don't have a kid - but we do have a kitty. I am in love with my little family and the world is so harsh... I am not from here. I am from another province full of energy pillpoppers and alcoholism and cold-hearted humans. This province was opportunity to escape, and I needed it. Sometimes I get scared that I cannot escape my problems again and I want the pain to go away. I want to start over... all the time. I was too old to be adopted, but accepted into a family still. I was given a voice, but I used it to disagree. Surely I am an adult, and I should be treated like one. It is always money and no one else wants to be wrong when I'm around. I am kind. I am honest. I am an animal lover. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed and I don't hurt anyone if I can help it. Why am I the easiest one to blame? I can take abuse, but never the emotional kind... please don't raise your voice or yell. My new mom was so quick to put me on drugs to mold me into her perfect doctor. Surely I gained weight when I moved out, because I stopped having constant meals and money was a problem. It was the first time I stopped consistently taking my drugs. No one ever told me how to take them properly, and I've yet to take them at the same time until recently. I'm unsure what to do with my iron pills, but they seem to be the only ones helping. Maybe there is a reason I bought Omega 3 Fish oils and vitamins. I am a pale-skin colour-sensitive woman with major PTSD from childhood trauma... I finally removed my mother from my life - but the other snakes slowly replace her. I was never checked up on as a child, I never knew what normal was. I was never anorexic but I don't remember eating because my mother told me we were both picky. I have terrible teeth, and I'm overweight. I cut all my hair off because I make impulsive decisions... but it's growing back healthier! Just not fast enough. I've lost another job. This is the first one that got rid of me. I called in sick in my probationary period, because I was withdrawing.... And I have no help.... I don't want to go to the doctor anymore. I was free of pills and almost maybe doing okay but Effexor found its way??? And I've never felt the pain of trying to quit until now.. Hot and colds and puking all over the floor... financial issues are a big thing and my man cannot do it alone but I have no money and we are slowly diminishing. I don't want to eat when there is food, just so it'll last a bit longer... I need help but everyone is so damn quick to put the pills back in my mouth and make sure they're swallowed. I am probably a hereditary bipolar... if I would have been helped I might have done better. I started smoking a bit more pot and it gave me the confidence I needed to do research and learn... sometimes I try too hard to put together pieces of puzzles I don't understand and I start to sound crazy to anyone looking to listen or judge... I'm on my period and I'm practically anemic, so the withdraws are definitely just the cherry on top aren't they? I do my best late at night... I forgot to take a pill to wean myself off of and it was so bad. The last few days I took 3 then took the risk of 2 but managed to take 1 and live... maybe I can handle the pains if I sleep more. I don't feel like I have a reason to live, so maybe sleeping will help me catch up. I'm hungry.... I didn't think I'd write this much... or anything at all. I am thankful for this forum... thankful so many can submit stories to compare. I was an ugly child, but I was somewhat smarter than most when it came to random things. I think the fact there were too many people in the room made it harder to learn. It's hard to be a tomboy and a partial nerd when the boys want to touch you. When did becoming promiscuous get so easy? If I could take it all back, I would have stayed smart... but there were too many distractions. I think the drugs helped me even hear better and that made them so easy to take. Maybe the absence of them will influence a loss in this extra 40 pounds I carry. Maybe all of my problems were unknown withdraws from each and every new miracle drug. I smoke my weed to help me remember... I know some may disagree - but I am already damaged and I only reap the benefits. The ability to feel hunger... I only feel it when I'm starving and it's too late. Where do I go from here? I've been checked into the psychward as an adolescent many moons ago... I'm in my 20s and I don't want to be stuck there, and without my little kitty. He purrs when I cry, and makes everything okay. I even considered joining the army because I didn't mind dying, but I could never survive the time away. I think I will be okay in time... I hope it doesn't get too hard. I haven't taken any specific pill consistently, so I'm unsure of what to compare - and the doctor doesn't even know what she's giving me anymore. Oh. You're hurting? There's a drug for that. Let me write you something. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening... Good vibes only, please. I used to be so quick to judge and assume people want to yell DEPRESSED because it's trendy... when the 20 something years of pain is something I'd never wish on my worst enemy... I know the difference now, and all I want to do is help people. My problem is all I do is help everyone else and I'm left to pick up my own pieces that I didn't know were missing in the process.

Here I am, lost and Confused as usual... I was mean to the one I love and scared him away to sleep on the couch... how many more times will he be able to take my emotions? Luckily, we don't have a kid - but we do have a kitty. I am in love with my little family and the world is so harsh... I am not from here. I am from another province full of energy pillpoppers and alcoholism and cold-hearted humans. This province was opportunity to escape, and I needed it. Sometimes I get scared that I cannot escape my problems again and I want the pain to go away. I want to start over... all the time. I was too old to be adopted, but accepted into a family still. I was given a voice, but I used it to disagree. Surely I am an adult, and I should be treated like one. It is always money and no one else wants to be wrong when I'm around. I am kind. I am honest. I am an animal lover. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed and I don't hurt anyone if I can help it. Why am I the easiest one to blame? I can take abuse, but never the emotional kind... please don't raise your voice or yell. My new mom was so quick to put me on drugs to mold me into her perfect doctor. Surely I gained weight when I moved out, because I stopped having constant meals and money was a problem. It was the first time I stopped consistently taking my drugs. No one ever told me how to take them properly, and I've yet to take them at the same time until recently. I'm unsure what to do with my iron pills, but they seem to be the only ones helping. Maybe there is a reason I bought Omega 3 Fish oils and vitamins. I am a pale-skin colour-sensitive woman with major PTSD from childhood trauma... I finally removed my mother from my life - but the other snakes slowly replace her. I was never checked up on as a child, I never knew what normal was. I was never anorexic but I don't remember eating because my mother told me we were both picky. I have terrible teeth, and I'm overweight. I cut all my hair off because I make impulsive decisions... but it's growing back healthier! Just not fast enough. I've lost another job. This is the first one that got rid of me. I called in sick in my probationary period, because I was withdrawing.... And I have no help.... I don't want to go to the doctor anymore. I was free of pills and almost maybe doing okay but Effexor found its way??? And I've never felt the pain of trying to quit until now.. Hot and colds and puking all over the floor... financial issues are a big thing and my man cannot do it alone but I have no money and we are slowly diminishing. I don't want to eat when there is food, just so it'll last a bit longer... I need help but everyone is so damn quick to put the pills back in my mouth and make sure they're swallowed. I am probably a hereditary bipolar... if I would have been helped I might have done better. I started smoking a bit more pot and it gave me the confidence I needed to do research and learn... sometimes I try too hard to put together pieces of puzzles I don't understand and I start to sound crazy to anyone looking to listen or judge... I'm on my period and I'm practically anemic, so the withdraws are definitely just the cherry on top aren't they? I do my best late at night... I forgot to take a pill to wean myself off of and it was so bad. The last few days I took 3 then took the risk of 2 but managed to take 1 and live... maybe I can handle the pains if I sleep more. I don't feel like I have a reason to live, so maybe sleeping will help me catch up. I'm hungry.... I didn't think I'd write this much... or anything at all. I am thankful for this forum... thankful so many can submit stories to compare. I was an ugly child, but I was somewhat smarter than most when it came to random things. I think the fact there were too many people in the room made it harder to learn. It's hard to be a tomboy and a partial nerd when the boys want to touch you. When did becoming promiscuous get so easy? If I could take it all back, I would have stayed smart... but there were too many distractions. I think the drugs helped me even hear better and that made them so easy to take. Maybe the absence of them will influence a loss in this extra 40 pounds I carry. Maybe all of my problems were unknown withdraws from each and every new miracle drug. I smoke my weed to help me remember... I know some may disagree - but I am already damaged and I only reap the benefits. The ability to feel hunger... I only feel it when I'm starving and it's too late. Where do I go from here? I've been checked into the psychward as an adolescent many moons ago... I'm in my 20s and I don't want to be stuck there, and without my little kitty. He purrs when I cry, and makes everything okay. I even considered joining the army because I didn't mind dying, but I could never survive the time away. I think I will be okay in time... I hope it doesn't get too hard. I haven't taken any specific pill consistently, so I'm unsure of what to compare - and the doctor doesn't even know what she's giving me anymore. Oh. You're hurting? There's a drug for that. Let me write you something. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening... Good vibes only, please. I used to be so quick to judge and assume people want to yell DEPRESSED because it's trendy... when the 20 something years of pain is something I'd never wish on my worst enemy... I know the difference now, and all I want to do is help people. My problem is all I do is help everyone else and I'm left to pick up my own pieces that I didn't know were missing in the process.

I became somewhat tolerant to lexapro so I got prescription from doctor for welbutrin 150 mg....I did not know that it was that high of mg till the prescription was filled. I have no idea how to taper off the lexapro 20mg to Welbutrin 150mg. Can someone tell me how?

Hello, My name is Dennis and I have been on Ssri antidepressants for ten years. I am 24 years old and I have Autism along with depression and anxiety. Just last week, my doctor put me on Welbutrin XL 150mg and had me take 50mg of Zoloft, my normal dosage being 100mg. She wants me to stay on that for two weeks, then go off, as she said that Welbutrin will help. I have gone through ssri withdrawals before, and I always got the usual brain zaps, increased anxiety and depression, and more agitation. I feel that two weeks is not enough to completely taper off an ssri, so that is why I am here. I will post my day by day progress on here. Any advice would help. Thank you, Dennis

Anyone taking It? How do you feel about it because I have zero clue if it's a good thing or a bad thing for me after being on it for one year now...

Hello. I am 55yo female, stay at home mom. I've always struggled with depression and anxiety. I don't like to use self diagnosis, so please forgive these labels...if I were to look at a collection of things that have caused me to have trouble in life, they could be clustered around sensory integration disorder and some aspergers tendencies. I live in a community full of high achievers, and many have the aspergers tendencies, so I don't feel so bad about that anymore, but for 54 years, I did. The sensory integration issues were a hot bed for the exhausting anxiety and resulting depression. I went on Lexapro 5 or 6 years ago when my 11 year old son's learning disability (rooted in sensory integration disorder) was completely overwhelming me. I was freaking out over not being able to help him and my husband's complete inability to help or even participate--for my son or for me. I went on the Lexapro to help me to stop screaming at and physically grabbing and charging at my children, esp the 11 year old, but the then 6 year old was watching. The Lexapro helped, but soon, I realized that anxiety was a useful fuel for me in my days and I missed it. I also became completely depressed over my situation (having given up my outside the home career, husband whose expectation that I seamlessly transition from highly educated executive to laundress), so I went on Wellbutrin. I have also always kept some Lorazepam in my purse for anxiety attacks. Having it available has usually been remedy enough, so I scarcely ever use it. Less than 10 pills per year which I break in half for 50-75% of a whole pill. The apathy that has come with my treatment has gotten way out in front of me. My husband changed jobs, not unusual in his field or in our lives (but tiresome as he is a pain in the --- during the transition), but the insurance transition was annoying so I ran out of Wellbutrin and figured I'd just stop it. Time for the apathy to go away. This was 3-4 months ago, and while initially it was wacky, I feel I am over that. I did, however, gain 15 pounds. On top of the 20+ I had already gained since starting Lexapro and the 20 I gained prior to starting medications with the anxiety with my son, I now have 55 pounds to lose, which of course, makes me depressed and overwhelmed. I want off the Lexapro. I cut 20 mg pills in half and have been on 10 mg for a while. I sometimes forget to take the pill and pay the price with tingling, dizziness, blurred vision. I was going to trim down to 5 mg, but after reading these posts, I will go for 7.5 for a month. Looking for recommendations for supplements for getting through this. Sounds like vitamins, omegas are a starting point. Also the dreaded diet and exercise. I just turned 55, and came up with a program called 55Alive for myself. Shooting for 55 minutes a day of: walking, focused mothering, focused wife-ing (this will be the hardest one), focus on friends, focus on faith, focus on housework & home improvement. Not trying to do all at once, but as much and as many as I can per day. Trying, also, to keep a log. My member name refers back to the year in my life where I was most happy and confident with myself, the most optimistic, and the most energetic in my life. So much exercise involved in that, but it was wonderful. I want to be the person that person would have been at age 55. Thank you.

Hi All, I'm joining SA as a way to give and receive support as I work my way out of 14 years of poly-drug treatment for a "severe mental illness" diagnosed after I was involuntarily hospitalized in an extreme state in 2001. When I was released from the hospital, I was on Seroquel and Depakote, constipated, confused, sad and dopey. I slept all the time, gained weight, my hair fell out. Deemed in the depression cycle of bipolar disorder, I was prescribed Celexa (terrible headaches and nausea), then Effexor (caused me to lose consciousness after exercising), then Welbutrin. Lamictal and trileptal were added, Depakote taken away, Neurontin tried for awhile, stopped, all to "stabilize" my "mood". A good career and high salary were history. For 2 1/2 years, I could barely function. My history of previous hospitalizations and mother's suicide 6 years prior made my SSDI claim sail through. I lost the ability to socialize or feel comfortable into public. I could blank out and hit the ground if someone startled me or trapped me. Six years ago, I started using a trained service dog for tasks related to PTSD (protect my body space and assist me out of dissociative episodes). That assistance allowed me to get off the seroquel and start doing things outside my home. In 2013, coincidental with starting a part time job, I had an access challenge that involved the police. My anxiety went over the top. Psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel, then Klonopin to deal with that, but I had to come off the Temazepam to take the Klonopin. I hated Klonopin and wasn't sleeping. Psychiatrist said, "If 'we' take you off the Welbutrin, maybe you won't have so much anxiety." I realized all along he had been prescribing additional drugs to treat side effects. He had added Sertraline to the Welbutrin on a couple of occasions and insisted I go on that before coming off the Welbutrin, which I did. Sertraline made me miserable. I decided to stop taking it after 1 month. I had gone back on the Temazepam for sleep, but once off the Welbutrin, didn't need that, either. By April, 2014, I was off everything but Lamictal, Trileptal and Levothyroxine (thyroid). I felt like a different person, awake! I could think! Wow. My skin cleared up. I started enjoying life and others started noticing how different my energy was. I fired the psychiatrist and approached my primary care doc to help me taper off Lamictal and Trileptal (the only two psych drugs left). Since a hidden study (not released until after the Lamictal's patent expired), showed it no more effective than placebo for bipolar depression, I started with that first. I did 10% taper until I got to half. Then did 10% taper of the half, cutting back every 2-3 weeks. Two weeks after my last dose of Lamictal, I started to slip into an altered state. Contributing factors, IMO: 1) Lamictal and trileptal have a synergistic effect. Lamictal increases the dosage of trileptal by about 40%. Coming off lamictal was like tapering off both; 2) In altered states 5 times (first in 1974), I was always locked up and drugged, and never able to naturally resolve the process; 3) The 20th anniversary of my mother's suicide approached. The unresolved grief, numbed out by so many years of drugs, blindsided me; 4) I didn't sleep for 5 days; and 5) Given what I'm reading here, there may have been some delayed withdrawal effects in the mix. Fortunately, loving friends stayed with me, helping me avoid the trauma of lock up. I've never been a danger to myself or others. I needed sleep. My primary doc prescribed temazepam. This time, it worked poorly. I had to take 3X what I'd taken before and it wore off within 3 hours. I'm now using medical marijuana to sleep. That works better than anything else I've tried (other than the seroquel which created a walking coma, not to mention the cholesterol soaring). I'm concerned about the anticholinergic effects of the drugs I've taken, including the 600 mgs Trileptal I'm still taking. With a family history of Alzheimer's, I do not want to add any more fuel to that potential. I plan to start tapering off the trileptal this coming week. Thanks to all of you for being here.