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  1. It's the most bizarre thing. I haven't had a menstrual cycle for the last three months in a row and I've been in withdrawal for 9 months. I'm wondering if this is normal and if this is just one of the many areas of my body's biological clock that has been ravaged by withdrawal. It's frustrating not knowing if I should worry about this or not, I'm only 28 so there's no reason that my cycles should have stopped all of a sudden..
  2. I'm getting desperate. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I feel like my brain is attacking itself and it's not getting any better. It's already been 9 months for me since my C/T and I haven't made ANY improvement. Is anyone from the Dallas, Texas area that can offer some advice on a doctor that I can go see that understands withdrawal? The only thing keeping me from trying to reinstate is the fear that it could make me worse.
  3. I'm getting desperate. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I feel like my brain is attacking itself and it's not getting any better. It's already been 9 months for me since my C/T and I haven't made ANY improvement. Is anyone from the Dallas, Texas area that can offer some advice on a doctor that I can go see that understands withdrawal? The only thing keeping me from trying to reinstate is the fear that it could make me worse.
  4. I'm getting desperate. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I feel like my brain is attacking itself and it's not getting any better. It's already been 9 months for me since my C/T and I haven't made ANY improvement. Is anyone from the Dallas, Texas area that can offer some advice on a doctor that I can go see that understands withdrawal? The only thing keeping me from trying to reinstate is the fear that it could make me worse.
  5. I’m almost at 9 months since my C/T and I’m getting really concerned about my memory. I can barely remember what I did yesterday and I’m doing terrible with memory recall, the past 9 months since my C/T withdrawal seem like a blur. Please someone reassure me that it goes away and we get our life back. I feel like a shell that’s just going through the motions.
  6. Hi, my name is Asher and I have ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. I struggled a lot with college after my first year and then sought help as I had done everything in my power to address my struggles. I started Zoloft in November of 2013 and have been on it since. My max does was at 150mg and that lasted about a month or two, as I was having decreased libido, thus I stepped the dosage down to 125mg (all this occurring in 2015). I didn't feel good about it still so I tried switching to citalopram for 4 months in February of 2016 into the summer. However, I became very lethargic on it and returning to classes in the Fall, I felt terrible. Thus, I switched back to Zoloft, slowly increasing the dosage while decreasing the citalopram. In 2017, I was back on Zoloft and up to 75 mg dosage, which felt great, until returning to classes in the Fall of 2017. I then went back up to 100mg and then 125 mg, and then back down to 75 mg, all by Christmas time of 2017. I decided to switch to Wellbutrin in January of 2018, slowly decreasing my dosage of Zoloft. I went from to 50 mg from January to February, then I added Wellbutrin in mid February and decreased the Zoloft to 25 mg. This was all up until last week when I stopped taking it completely (per schedule of my doctor). However, after a week I seemed okay but on Saturday, March 17th, I woke up feeling disoriented, having electric-shock-like feelings and a migraine. My symptoms have persisted since then, which has landed me here. I have read up on tapering and am so glad I found this place as once my doctor and I started the process of switching to Wellbutrin, I knew it seemed too quick to come off Zoloft. Today, I had to take an exam while my withdrawal symptoms seemed to be at there highest so far, and that was the last straw for me. I knew something was wrong and hopefully, I can utilize the resources and experiences of this forum to create a plan in which I can feel more normal again. After reading other posts, I am comfortable with mixing my own doses of Zoloft and just need to figure out the right process of doing so and am welcome to any and all feedback or recommendations.
  7. Hello Everyone, Has anyone had a successful taper from wellbutrin 300XL? I would appreciate any feedback. The doctor wants me to drop to 250 mg, but I'm kind of scared because that's more than a 10% drop. He says that wellbutrin is easy to withdraw from. (?????) Thanks so much!
  8. Emotional blunting and lack of positive emotions has been my %100 most persistent symptoms throughout this whole process and I was just wanting to get some feedback to see if this does eventually resolve itself. I can't imagine a life where I will feel like this forever, it seems kind of pointless.
  9. Emotional blunting and lack of positive emotions has been my %100 most persistent symptoms throughout this whole process and I was just wanting to get some feedback to see if this does eventually resolve itself. I can't imagine a life where I will feel like this forever, it seems kind of pointless.
  10. I've had issues with double vision and dry eyes since the beginning of withdrawal. But the last couple of days my eyes have been so blurry that it's becoming difficult for me to see. Is this common and will it eventually clear itself up, or should I go to the doctor to have them check it out?
  11. I could use some feedback about this if any forum users have seen their anhedonia go away completely. If you have, what does the process for recovery look like?
  12. Hi all, Are there any success reports of individuals who struggled specifically with anhedonia and recovered? I've searched but I haven't found any. All of the results that I've found when I've searched are pretty grim.
  13. I beat withdrawal and in the process I beat a depression that had been plaguing me for half my life. I’ve been meaning to share my story for sometime now but have failed to take the time to do so. When I was in the thick of it back in 2016 I heavily utilized this site for answers, for comfort, and for inspiration. Unfortunately there don’t seem to be a lot of success stories but I am proud to say I am one. It was quite a daunting task writing this all down, I swear I could write a novel based on my experience with depression and antidepressants. Irregardless I hope my story can help encourage those currently in the midst of withdrawal just as stories I had read on this site encouraged me during my withdrawal. I am a 27 year old man and I took antidepressants from 2010 to early 2016. My first year was on Zoloft and the next five years were on Effexor 150mg. Depression entered my life around the age of 13 and it more or less stayed there up until recently. Sure there were periods of time where it subsided but eventually I would always return to my depressed default state. When I was about 13 my father died unexpectedly, a few years later my grandfather was murdered. My teenage years were very lonely. Affected by the deaths and trying to understand my sexuality pushed me into a state of isolation, it was during this time where I developed a very strong pornograghy addiction. Rather than talk about my issues through friends and therapy I chose to keep them hidden and use medication to do the work for me. Soon after starting college I got on Zoloft. It suited me, I felt calm and content but I craved something more stimulating. I had previously been prescribed adderall, but I recognized the ill effects it had on my personality so I stopped taking it. The campus doctor recommended Effexor, he said I might find it to be more stimulating. Therefore without question I took the prescription and worked my way up to 150mg where I would remain the next 5 years. During this time I was also taking ambien nightly, and between these two drugs I was able block out any of the persistent issues that were bothering me. I was numb. Years later I was living in a house with two very supportive roommates. These two guys would become my best friends and for the first time in my life I actually opened up about the things that truly bothered me. I also finally decided to get into therapy. In retrospect I could see that I was not actually happy on the antidepressants. I was just going through the motions, numb to the good and numb to the bad. I could see my growing disconnect from people. Up until those roommates I didn’t have close friends, I wasn't dating, and I certainly wasn’t having sex. I was almost 25 and still a virgin. The antidepressants removed the desire to be intimate with people, I was living in perpetual loneliness. So in January of 2016 I made the decision I was getting off Effexor and that was that. As with most doctors, my doctor had no idea how to get me off. There are no established plans to get people off of antidepressants, once your on them your expected to stay on them. So every two weeks I would half the dosage, and at the lowest dosage I was to take it every other day. That was completely idiotic as Effexor only has a 12 hour half life, essentially I would be playing ping pong with my brain chemistry. Fortunately I did not follow that last part of the plan but I did get off too quickly. After five years on the drug, six weeks is not long enough to get completely off. My first day off of Effexor was also my first day on a one month solo trip through South America which was during my birthday month when I would be turning 25. The trip was fantastic but it gave me a false sense of security as to what life would be like without the drug. While traveling you are processing so much new information and your brain is naturally producing tons of dopamine through all these new experiences therefore I was not accurately feeling what real withdrawal would feel like. I had some minor headaches the first week of the trip but that was really it. By the time the trip ended I thought life without antidepressants was going to be a piece of cake, boy was I wrong. When I came back it was time to face reality, and I had to do so without relying on Effexor. We were moving from our house, my two awesome roommates were going their separate ways and I was on my own. On top of that I had a very important all consuming project at work to figure out. My anxiety was through the roof. I had a prescription for Ativan that I used very sparingly to get me through, but the anxiety was so bad I thought I needed a more permanent solution. I had to do whatever it took to get through this move and this project so I went back to the doctor to try a different antidepressant. He put me on Lexapro, I believe it was only 5mg but I could feel it instantly. I was finding I was hypersensitive to everything now. I was only able to tolerate Lexapro for 5 days because on the fifth day I was contemplating suicide. Whatever fire I had inside me that had always gotten me through the tough **** felt extinguished and I just wanted to die. I ended up going back to Effexor only taking 10 or so beads from the capsule, just that small amount made a tremendous difference in my anxiety. I did this until I had settled into a new place and my project was complete. While my anxiety was calmed my emotions were neutralized and my libido was extinguished. These were the exact reasons I got off in the first place so I knew I had to stick with the plan of staying off for good. Things were calming down but I was very depressed and had a complete lack of motivation. I was trying a lot of things like B-vitamins, Magnesium, L-theanine, and Fish Oil. I could feel some benefit from each of them but after a few days I would be back in my depression. I had very low energy and I was sensitive to everything. Just eating bread would make me feel terrible even though I had no apparent gluten intolerance previously. It was around this time a good friend of mine talked me into doing Improv. I thought it was crazy but I had nothing left to lose. So even at my worst I did Improv and I also continued training in the martial art Krav Maga. No matter how bad I felt I would show up and make a fool of myself in Improv or hit the **** out of something in Krav. I always felt much relief whenever I did either and I credit both of those activities to helping me beat my depression in the long run. I opened up a lot to my friends and family about what was going on in my head, and whenever my anxiety felt high I would challenge myself into doing something that made me uncomfortable. I performed on stage, I did sparring at my gym, I went on dates with guys, and I opened up to my Mom about my sexuality. My motto was “oh you think you’re anxious now? Wait till you do this!” While all these lifestyle changes helped build up my confidence I still struggled to find relief from my depression. I thoroughly researched the neurotransmitters and what vitamins and supplements help support what. I determined that my issues seemed to lie with Dopamine. So I went back to my doctor to get on Wellbutrin. I was not happy about throwing in the towel again but I also wasn’t ultimately finding relief. I was open to Wellbutrin because it supposedly did not have as severe of sexual side effects. I started taking it and I actually felt pretty damn good. Unfortunately I also broke out in hives. So it was back to the drawing board. I tried St. John’s wort and SAM-e, neither of those did anything. Finally I tried L-Tyrosine, this seemed to make the biggest difference. Like I hypothesized, my problem stemmed from dopamine and L-Tyrosine is a precursor in the creation of dopamine. While I found some relief, it was very finicky. Taking too much made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack, too little of course did nothing at all. It was also very easily influenced by the digestive process so it was hard to find consistency and consistency was what I needed as I was about to hop on a very stressful 6 week project. I threw in the towel again this time looking at Cymbalta. I had read that it was less likely to cause the sexual side effects that Effexor does. It was true, I found my libido did not seem to suffer as badly however I downright felt badly. I felt achy, my head hurt, I felt dehydrated, and I was terrified to force my body to adjust to this seemingly toxic drug. I knew that I had no intentions of staying on antidepressants my whole life therefore if Cymbalta feels this harsh to adjust to in the beginning then I can only imagine what it would feel like to get off of. This whole withdrawal process shook me to my core. While I was desperate to find relief so that I could function at work I also knew that I never wanted to withdrawal from an antidepressant again. I tossed the Cymbalta and I went back to taking a few beads of the Effexor. Once again I felt relief but once again my libido vanished as did my emotions. The most striking difference I noticed once I was back on the Effexor had to do with a coworker. I had a thing for one of the girls I was working with and I knew she felt similarly. Whenever she smiled at me I could feel an electricity rush through my body. When I got back on Effexor and she smiled at me, I felt nothing. That was it, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could be depressed, anxious, and barely able to function but I was not going to lose the feeling of being human. I was not going to lose feeling a connection with someone, caring about someone, and I sure as hell was not going to lose my libido, not at 25. Antidepressants were out, I had to find another way. That’s when I discovered a different form of L-Tyrosine called N-Actetyl-L-Tyrosine, this form is less affected by digestion and crosses the blood brain barrier more easily. It took a lot of experimentation with how to dose the N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine. It caused a lot of headaches but it was relieving my depression and anxiety. Finally I developed a regimen that included several of the vitamins I had previously tried that offered relief but couldn’t fix the problem as a whole. My regimen consisted of a B-complex, Fish oil, Vitamin C, and Vitamin D during the day; at night I would take Magnesium, melatonin, and every other night 150mg of N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine. After 6 months of suffering and countless experimentation I finally found stability again with my own personal regimine. I more or less stayed on this particular plan for a year, and the extreme depression and anxiety stayed away. I had never felt better because I was actually feeling everything like a human being should. I was also very in tune with my emotions, as soon as I felt depressing thoughts creeping in I would identify them and root out what may be causing them. I continued challenging myself with the improv, krav maga, and anything else that my old self would swear I could never do. I also continued therapy and being open and honest with those around me. I beat the depression that had been plaguing me the majority of my life. I didn’t stay on that particular set of vitamins and supplements indefinitely, I started dropping things along the way. After about a year the N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine started acting finicky again, I was suffering headaches similar to when I first got on it. I ended up dropping the Tyrosine several months ago and instead started experimenting with Rhodiola Rosea. So far it has been working well. If the Rhodiola Rosea stops working I’ll try something else, the important thing is that my mindset has changed. I’m extremely self aware, I’ve accomplished so many things I thought I could never do, and I know that I no longer need antidepressants to function. Depression will always be something I will battle but I’m finally now in the driver's seat and I am not going to give up my spot so easily this time. Withdrawal is horrible but its an important process in forming a new and better self. Just because L-Tyrosine and Rhodiola Rosea have helped me doesn’t mean they will help everyone. It took a lot of trial and error to find what seemed to click. Ultimately it was challenging myself, being honest and open with those around me, and learning mindfulness that truly brought me into the light. I hope my story can provide some ray of hope for all of you out there in the thick of it. It can be done. It’s not the end of the world to reinstate just know what your ultimate goals are and stick to them.
  14. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice about something that I found online that REALLY scared me. I know that googling our symptoms related to withdrawal is not beneficial to our healing, but I stumbled on this information when I was trying to research foods that would help with receptor repair. It's related to anhedonia and it expresses that dopamine receptors can permanently down regulate and often times only have the ability to recycle themselves, so once they are damaged they are rendered useless. The only drug that I took was Wellbutrin and it's main mechanism of action works on dopamine so this really concerns me. This is the quote that I found that really freaks me out. "Wellbutrin tricks the brain that it doesn't need to make dopamine, and dopamine is the only chemical in the brain that once it is damaged, you never get it back." Can someone please provide me with reassurance and/or feedback on their experience with drugs that act on dopamine receptors and if they have experienced any change in their anhedonia/depression when they got more time behind them in withdrawal?
  15. I was just feeling a little disheartened by the disparity between how many people post on this site and how many write success stories. I know that this could mean that people just don't want to return to the site because the memory of withdrawal is so painful for them once they've recovered. But it's also scary knowing that another reason for the lack of success reports could be that people have a really difficult time healing and more often times than not it takes YEARS to heal. I've been off for 6 and a half months and I'm still dealing with brutal mental symptoms, and it's discouraging that when I REALLY need to read reports from people that have recovered, and I end up reading the same 5 stories that I've already read hundreds of times. Is it possible that some people just DON'T heal from this and we need to learn to live with the new circumstances that we've been dealt? I know this post is a little depressing, but I could really use some encouragement. Thanks to any of you that can provide feedback and/or reassurance.
  16. I was wondering if anyone can give me some feedback on an issue that I've been having for the last week. I've had constant 24/7 brain fog since I first started into withdrawal, so bad to the point that I can't concentrate on anything, but the last week has been way worse than anything I've experienced thus far in withdrawal. I can't hold onto a thought for more than a couple of seconds before it's gone. Is this just part of withdrawal or should I be worried about this further cognitive decline this far into withdrawal?
  17. Sorry if this is too much information. I haven't had acne since I was in my early teens and I'm now 28 years old. But for the last couple of months I've been getting some REALLY bad cystic type acne on my chest neck and chin. I did some research and the only information that I could find about this said that it could be related to hormonal changes. I'm just wondering if this could be related to withdrawal and if anyone else has experienced this and had it go away? Any information is much appreciated!
  18. Since C/T from Wellbutrin completely 6 months ago I have noticed that I am beginning to feel very fatigued and sore in random parts of my body. I know that antidepressants can serve as a shield for your body's nerves, so I'm wondering if I'm feeling mild aches and pains that I've had since I've been on the drugs and I just didn't notice them before because the antidepressant was suppressing the nerve pain. Is the fatigue that I've been hit with lately a normal part of withdrawal that slowly dissipates like everything else in withdrawal? Or should I be checking into supplements and trying to exercise more in order to address these issues? Any feedback is welcome, thanks! My main concern is and will remain to be my extreme withdrawal depression symptoms, but I've come to terms that this symptom is likely going to stick around for a long time, and hopefully when it leaves my intrusive thoughts will go with it.
  19. Hello, I am Sean. Long time depression and anxiety sufferer. 36y/o, male. Have been on various meds since being a young teenager. Have taken most types of psychiatric drugs at some point. Recently been dealing with hard depression and possibly BP2 diagnosis (if that matters), and am currently on lamictal, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin and Abilify. Sadly I stopped Abilify and Gabapentin improperly a month ago, and now am worried I am going through serious withdrawals and don’t know what to do. I have been on the Lamictal for about 6 years, and 1mg of clonazepam for sleep (or bad anxiety) for maybe 7-8 years. Recently, I had been taking 5mg Abilify since last summer (mid 2017) as an adjunct to treat depression and some psychosis, and also was given gabapentin for anxiety at the same time. I took the Abilify 5mg for a while, then would stop and start as I felt it wasn't doing anything to help, but eventually took is steadily throughout the last few months of the year. I would also take the gabapentin usually in the afternoons for anxiety attack flare ups. The gabapentin was prescribed as taking 1-3 300mg capsules 3x a day (for a potential max of 2700). I usually would only take 900mg a day, and that seemed to help me feel better. For the new year, I wanted to stop the Abilify and Gabapentin, and I had been tapering down the Abilify from 5mg a day to 2.5mg, but then forgot to take it with me on my christmas trip (December 22-28) and had to just stop. I also tried to minimize the gabapentin use and don't quite remember how much I took it over the christmas break, probably semi regularly. I came home from christmas on the 28th (2017) and wanted to be off so many meds as they weren't helping the original intent. I was still on the Wellbutrin, but also had these thoughts of stopping/tapering that down too. Well as of today it's been about 4 weeks without the Abilify, and maybe close to 4 weeks without gabapentin, and I am feeling very strange. Upon returning home, I have developed early morning awakening at around 4am every day (even when taking the 1mg clonazepam for sleep) and have extreme fatigue, obviously, through the day. But as I read more about the Abilify (and then gabapentin) withdrawals, I realized that I might have screwed up bigtime in thinking I could stop them. The gabapentin I was never told had to be tapered down, I thought it was an "As needed" for anxiety med, and I had been taking only 1/3rd of what was prescribed (900mg daily instead of 2700mg). So I've been nearly a month off that. At the same time, in my goal to reduce my drug cocktail, I also thought I could take the Abilify down to 2.5mg for a few weeks, then just cut that down to zero. That's been about a month now as well. But, now that I've read all through these forums, I realize that I may have screwed up real bad. It has definitely been a rough month of emotions and symptoms, but I attributed it mostly to some emotional strain over the holidays and a general continuation of my original depression/anxiety. But now I am wondering if I have thrown myself into a total loop by cutting off those two drugs so improperly, without doctor's supervision or advice. I thought I would be ok. So right now, my quandary is: it's been a month, do I restart the drugs and try tapering over again, or do I just realize that I made a big mistake and push through it now instead of starting back over? This is what I'm afraid of, I feel stuck! And I am not sure how much my pdoc knows or is informed on these withdrawal syndromes. Plus it's really hard to get an appointment with her. I just had one this week and I didn't explain myself well (and hadn't read these forums) so I wasn't aware of the 10% rule and the other possible effects of stopping. I could use some advice or insights. I realize if I'd read these forums before, I wouldn't have stopped like this. But now that I'm a month in, I don't know if it's better to try and start back up, and then taper down, or just figure I need to live through it. I am happy to answer more questions here or in other threads. Please help, thank you!
  20. I just had a quick question that I was hoping someone might be able to answer. Is it common to have more than one acute wave when you're going through withdrawal? I had an acute wave after my initial C/T and then I had a terrible acute wave at the beginning of November, and now I feel like I'm starting to go into another one. Is this common in withdrawal? Is it unusual to have more than one severe wave?
  21. In April 2015 I began taking Wellbutrin XL 150mg (1 tab then 2 tabs a couple of weeks later) for smoking cessation for about 10 weeks total including tapering on and off. It ended up making all of my nicotine withdrawal symptoms worse so I tapered off, each week cutting my dose in half. (2 tabs to 1 to ½ to ¼) At the time I was not aware of any potential of any crazy side effects of getting off of the medication except for maybe some tiredness and fatigue. My first day of having no Wellbutrin after tapering off, I had 3 huge panic attacks back to back. I went to prompt care and was given a small prescription of Xanax until I could go to my regular doctor the next day. My Primary Care doctor told me I was having a nervous breakdown and instructed me to take short term disability and start seeing a therapist. (I had also been on Lexapro 10mg since April 2015 as well, but was still on it at this point.) So that’s what I did. I couldn’t work anymore. I could barely function. Because I couldn’t work, I couldn’t keep my place and had to move back home with my parents…at 30. I lost my home, my job, and my social life. For about 4 months I just stared at the ceiling or played a game on my phone. It took me about 3 months to find a good fit for a therapist/counselor. After about 4 months, I went to an alternative medicine doctor who told me I had Candida and Leaky Gut Syndrome. They put me on a million vitamins and probiotics and allergy shots and told me to change my diet completely. (I was used to eating pretty healthy in the past so it wasn’t new for me.) It seemed like as soon as I changed my diet and took all of these vitamins, etc. my body jump started with energy and I felt great! I started a job working from home and could slowly start to function again. I started to notice these symptoms I was having, but they could all be explained away by other things. Dizziness, extreme fatigue, gagging and nausea, heartburn. Everything seemed to have another reason. Then my depression and anxiety got worse. So my (new) primary care doctor increase my Lexapro dosage to 20mg. A few months later, my depression was worse. Doctor said I was at the max dose and the only thing to do was to switch medications. Nope! I didn’t want to be on an SSRI in the first place. A few more months go by and I start doing some research online only to find that ALL of my symptoms are side effects of Lexapro! I was done. 2.5 years I had been on it. I had been encouraged to stay on it when I wanted to get off and I was done! I looked online and found a taper schedule. Every 2 weeks, cut the dose in half. So that’s what I did. (20mg to 10mg to 5mg) November 12, 2017 was my first day Lexapro-free. The tapering process was TERRIBLE. Everything was amplified. It would be really bad for about 3-4 days after each drop in dosage and then ease up a little for a few days and then ease up even more over the next week until the next dosage drop. Symptoms: -Increased Depression -Increased Anxiety -Constant Fatigue -Suicidal thoughts (not like me AT ALL) -Extreme Dizziness -Nausea & gagging -I could barely eat or keep food down -Brain Zaps (argh) After coming completely off, I was still struggling, but it was manageable. The dizziness and nausea were the worst and those seemed to have subsided along with the increased depression and anxiety. Then about 4-5 weeks after being completely off of Lexapro “Phase II” started. And that is the hell hole that I’m in now. Here are my current symptoms: -Crippling Depression (worst in my entire life) -Out of control Anxiety (worst in my entire life) -Extreme fatigue -Nausea -Gagging from Anxiety -Inability to eat very many foods without gagging -Vomiting from Anxiety -Varied Dizziness -Weight loss -Brain Fog -Forgetfulness -Decreased brain processing time -Extremely easily overwhelmed -Constant stress -Increased heart rate that will last all day -Sensitive to loud noises -Derealization (especially right after waking up) -Depressive Rumination (This is hands down the worst symptom. A thought or set of thoughts gets stuck in your brain on an infinite loop and you can’t make it stop. It drives me to near insanity.) I feel like the “real me” is inside of me fighting like hell to get out. None of these symptoms are “me.” I’m not myself at all and it feels terrible. I feel like my brain is broken and it’s not functioning the way it normally does. I’m frustrated, mad, sad, every emotion…except happy. I feel like since finding this forum, I have gained more clarity about what is happening to me. Because none of my friends and family really completely understand this…how extreme this is. The more I learn about WHY or HOW my brain isn’t functioning correctly, the more hopeful I become. Because I can try to find coping mechanisms to help me while my brain heals. Before I found this forum, I thought I was literally going insane and I was going to be trapped inside this insane body forever. I was absolutely terrified. So I just want to say thank you to the people that created this place. I’m pretty sure you’ve saved lives.
  22. My name is Jim. I’m from pgh. I’ve been on some type of ssri for the most part of the past 13 years for anxiety and depression. I’ve also self medicated with drugs and alcohl for most of that time too. I’ve been clean from the drugs and alcohol for over two years now. And during those two years I’ve been prescribed 300mg Wellbutrin, 30 mg remeron and 100 mg Zoloft. Due to side effects and feeling like I was stable, I decided to wean off the Zoloft about 6 months ago. I did about a 3 month Zoloft taper, ending with about 3 weeks of 10 mg prozac per day.(at every dose reduction, I always felt very good/stable). Over the 4 months since my last dose, my condition went from good to unbearable. The past two weeks have been constant dread, and physical anxiety symptoms. Like all day long chest thumping and headaches from non stop worrying and depression. Two days ago, I gave in and started back on 20 mg prozac. Please help! i don’t want to be on this med anymore. Could this be withdrawal after 4 months of being ssri free? Or is my brain totally and permanently dependent on these pills? I’m all alone on this. Nobody understands what I’m going through, not even my doc. I could go on and on. Sorry for the life story. Any experience, strength, or hope would be greatly appreciated.
  23. I've had a new symptom emerge in the last couple days. I went from having chronic insomnia to really bad fatigue. I slept for a solid 8 hours and I'm still exhausted. Is this common, will it get better? Or is it going to stick with me until my CNS heals?
  24. Just found these forums. This is 1st Post. I’m about 10 Days into withdrawal from Pristiq and Lexapro. (I’m assuming my “signature “ automatically attaches to this, so I don’t have to go into all the details again?) This has been shocking how hard this is. The worst for me has been the wild mood swings, accompanied by extreme anger and some outbursts. Also, a lot of shouting in the privacy of my car. I feel pretty out of control a lot of the time, with a hair-trigger temper. I used to be somewhat like this before antidepressants. But this is even worse. I’m scaring myself with how quickly I can become over the top angry. Also very anxious. The physical symptoms include one thing I haven’t seen mentioned, so I wonder if anyone has also felt them. It feels like my tongue is tingling, sometimes lips too, and I also get these zippy tingling sensations internally that make me think my heart is racing, but when I check my heart rate, it’s fine. My biggest concern is that I’ll be traveling soon, which always makes me irritable and anxious, so I wonder how I can handle it right now. I do have a small number of Valium, which I almost never take but I have it for fear of flying. Should I just go ahead and take it? Will it help? Or will using it just create more problems? Thanks for “listening “.
  25. I joined this site a couple of weeks ago. After finding that paxilprogress was no more. I was devastated. That site may have truly saved my life in some of my darkest moments. What is one to do? When essentially you've self-destructed in front of everyone you love; because of a nasty little "non-habit-forming" pill that's been shoved down your throat for decades. So here I am. Time (weeks really) has eluded me. I meant to reach out sooner. I'm just hoping I'm not reaching out too late. I feel like such a horrible failure. I know better than that at some level, know that maybe I failed but that I just have to pick up the broken pieces and keep moving forward. But I'm so I'll. I'm so weak. I'm so alone. And I feel so helpless. My life may not have been a picnic before the introduction of SSRIs. But this is one situation in which the grass was truly greener on the side of which I was already standing. Before popping that first "innocent" little pink pill, prescribed by a doctor who had seen me only once and only spent 10 minutes "getting to know me". I couldn't tell you who that doctor was, I never saw him again. Nevertheless he was the first in probably nearly a hundred who have insisted upon continuing the saga. And what better did I know? I was unhappy before the meds. I was often unstable on them. And I was clueless as to why I was saying and doing psychotic things (that I often didn't remember, or just have "snippets" of memory after the fact) and so violently ill when I decided I simply no longer wanted to take the pills. Or was even 12 hours late on a dose. (More about that and my travels down genetic testing road and CYP450 mutations later.) All that being said; Hello to all in these forums. I'm the antisocial one. The antisocial one that sometimes doesn't know when it's appropriate to shut up. Or how to appropriately ask for help. But if you've been through it (psych med-wise), I probably have too. And vice versa.
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