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Found 326 results

  1. I am a little over a month into this part of my tapering story, (Celexa-free now) and last week I had a lot of anxiety, which did not come as a surprise to me. I had somatic obsessions, tactile hallucinations, paranoia, and sometimes I wince from the intrusive thoughts or images that come up. My partner has been witnessing moments of this struggle which sparked a discussion. She says it hurts her to see me in pain and she urged me to think more critically about why I am doing what I am doing. When I tried to explain that sometimes withdrawal is just hard and requires patience, she said that I was rationalizing everything and didn't have any plan in place for when I should stop what I was doing or increase dosages again. She feels as if I don't leave enough room for her feelings or take into account how my actions in this process affect our relationship. She does not have personal experience with mental illness or medication which for some reason makes hearing that from her feel even harder. I feel judged in moments, though I really do think this is my own projection, and as a result I am not able to comfortably voice how I feel. I responded to all of this rather defensively. It felt like she wasn't trusting me to know what I need and it also seemed like this process, (which is hard for me already) was burdensome to her somehow. I felt like this is incredibly challenging for me and I need her amazing strength, love, and support right now, more than ever. I care so much about how she feels and this relationship but I want to be in control of this very personal process. She also thinks I am undergoing this journey in hopes of an idealized vision of reality without medication. While I do have hope for what life might be like drug-free, I try really hard to stay grounded and not have too many expectations. Maybe she's right in that regard. I don't know how to create more space for her to have feelings about how I'm feeling. It feels messy. I start dissociating during our conversations and losing time, losing information. She is very sharp and has an amazing memory so I simply cannot compete. We have barely talked in the past two days, we both feel really frustrated. We have both explicitly stated our needs and yet this still does not feel resolved. Neither of us can seem to relax into a willing state of mind until the other does. I feel so angry and I can't tell where it is coming from. Does anyone relate to this? I'm not sure how to move forward? Otto
  2. It's the most bizarre thing. I haven't had a menstrual cycle for the last three months in a row and I've been in withdrawal for 9 months. I'm wondering if this is normal and if this is just one of the many areas of my body's biological clock that has been ravaged by withdrawal. It's frustrating not knowing if I should worry about this or not, I'm only 28 so there's no reason that my cycles should have stopped all of a sudden..
  3. Feels like waking up

    I have just read almost all of “Prozac backlash” and It kind of blew my mind. I am sure this is old news for most of you on this site, I just had no idea. I also had tried to go off Effexor pretty much cold turkey and basically was a ball of nerves, sobbing uncontrollably the whole time. I thought at the time, “my anxiety must really be this bad, i guess i really cannot function without my AD.” OMG. I had no idea this was such a universal experience for people to go through such difficulty when trying to get off them. And to try to do this without any coping skills too? That was entering a losing battle. I am now seeing a therapist and I feel empowered to do this for the first time in my life. Having this community is really great too, to know it’s hard to do for all of us. For the first time in my life I suddenly see that this has been a lie I have told myself for years, that I need these to function. I always assumed “some people need meds for mental health and some don’t.” Reading this book demonstrating the actual figures for people who manage their depression/anxiety without meds is truly uplifting for me. I have had a rough month trying to start the taper. Someone tried to attack me at my job (this has never happpened to me before) and I was quite affected by it, starting to feel my anxiety sky rocket even on my full dose. This event set off some really tough emotions for me as I already have a stressful job and have been working on ways to move to something less stressful for me. For financial reasons, I need to stick with it for another 1.5 years. I feel pretty angry and anxious the first few days after a taper, I have noticed and the lightening strike emotions are there. I think mindfulness and encouraging self-talk in preparation for this possibility is key for me. Like positive visulations, even practice (role play) like what will i say if XYZ happens. I am on 121.5 mg of my effexor right now which is the second taper I have done. Much of my focus has been on the bad sides of my withdrawal. I go to Zumba pretty religiously and yesterday in my class I felt something I haven’t felt for a very long time—- it was joy. I felt joyful as I moved, and used my body, and felt alive. I felt free. I realized that this feeling has been covered up for some time in addition to my demons I am now facing. I was sitting in the sunshine with my dog and drinking coffee, listening to the birds sing, and I thought.. this is truly a perfect moment. It has been so difficult for me to feel moved in any way for the last 7 years. And in the back of my head I can feel my anxiety telling me “this won’t last, you could still be in trouble, you could still be unsafe...” And I am letting myself just for now to feel alive, like I am waking up.
  4. I'm getting desperate. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I feel like my brain is attacking itself and it's not getting any better. It's already been 9 months for me since my C/T and I haven't made ANY improvement. Is anyone from the Dallas, Texas area that can offer some advice on a doctor that I can go see that understands withdrawal? The only thing keeping me from trying to reinstate is the fear that it could make me worse.
  5. I'm getting desperate. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I feel like my brain is attacking itself and it's not getting any better. It's already been 9 months for me since my C/T and I haven't made ANY improvement. Is anyone from the Dallas, Texas area that can offer some advice on a doctor that I can go see that understands withdrawal? The only thing keeping me from trying to reinstate is the fear that it could make me worse.
  6. I'm getting desperate. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I feel like my brain is attacking itself and it's not getting any better. It's already been 9 months for me since my C/T and I haven't made ANY improvement. Is anyone from the Dallas, Texas area that can offer some advice on a doctor that I can go see that understands withdrawal? The only thing keeping me from trying to reinstate is the fear that it could make me worse.
  7. Positive stories?

    Hello everyone, I'm doing decent with the withdrawal, better than I was anyway. I was wondering if anyone could give me some positive stories about getting their feelings back for their partner or just recovering from ssris in general? I'm feeling a little discouraged again, it's been going on two years since my feelings changed for my boyfriend after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I guess I'm just wondering what I should be expecting? Is the hardest part over or will it still be awhile before I'm me again? We're definitely better than we were but I want so bad to go back to the way we were. I loved him more than anything and two years of feeling nothing is just so hard.
  8. I’ve been on Zoloft/Sertraline for almost 15 years and for most of that time my daily dosage has been 1 1/2 tablets. A couple months ago my anxiety level was high so my doctor (regular primary care) suggested going up to the max of two a day. Over the past few days I’ve been experiencing the same symptoms that occur when you run out of the drug or go cold turkey- the twitching/tingling when turning your head, being over alert, etc but I have not changed my dosage or stopped. Any ideas?
  9. I am using Paxil for 19 years now and decided together with my doctor to bring the dose down and eventually stop altogether. Everything is stable in my life, and the summer is coming in Alaska. I went from 60mg to 40mg in a few months, but I experience flu like symptoms now. After looking on the web I found this site with success stories about slowly tapering. I am going up to 50mg now and as soon as I am stable will start tapering.
  10. Hi all! I am a 22 year old female diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. I was heavily drugged at around the age of 14, and I decided to come off of many of my meds in the past year. Unfortunately, I do not have the history of meds/dosages for the past two years but may be able to obtain info from my doctor... Drugs Withdrew from: 1. Trileptal 2. Gabapentin 3. Horizant (form of gabapentin) I was put on Trileptal (I believe 900mg) for Bipolar Disorder around the end of summer of 2017 I decided to come off the drug after about 5 months. I went off quickly, but did not stop cold turkey. Started experiencing tingling in my legs (against clothing or fabric) Started developing a noise sensitivity during this time. Went on Gabapentin (I believe 900mg) in November/December for one month and a half, and had side effects. Came off with my doctor Experienced side effects including insomnia, anxiety, tingling back, chills, temperature changes, heart palpitations, panic attacks, noise sensitivity Went on Horizant for 3 days had side effects, stopped for a day, took it again once, and stopped permanently after 4th day. Had brain zaps for a few weeks with tinnitus Since stopping ALL 3 meds, I now have chronic side effects Tingling (against clothes) Legs (***) front and back of thighs. Intermittent throughout day. Very unbearable.. In both arms (sometimes part of arm sometimes full arm) --less frequent but happens more than back/ribs Back (less frequent) Ribs (less frequent) Tingling happens for a few seconds with back arms and ribs. Noise sensitivity (hyperacusis) Touch sensitivity Head pressure (started after brain zaps from Horizant subsided.) Basically CONSTANT throughout the day. ***** I believe that all of my symptoms are from withdrawal from medications. The chronic pain/tingling against clothing or fabric is the most excruciating. I wonder if anyone knows if this will go away or if it is permanent damage?? Is anyone familiar with my situation? It has been about 2 months since I tried Horizant in February of 2018. It is April 2018 now I don't want to put any more drugs in my body, especially not knowing if it will go away on it's own. I am a college student who is now going to drop out, even though I was doing great in school. All advise/ info helps!! Thank you!!
  11. Did you see that yesterday the electronic version of the New York Times had a front page article on the difficulties of antidepressants withdrawal? I thought it might mention a new resource, my book ‘Understanding Antidepressants’. I’ve presented the science behind how antidepressants work, their possible benefits, drawbacks (notably withdrawal), and alternatives. It’s available on Amazon. My hope is that is will be a good source of information. Would appreciate your feedback and suggestions for future editions. Link is: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Antidepressants-Wallace-B-Mendelson-ebook/dp/B07B4GWKSN/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1520279221&sr=1-1&keywords=Understanding+antidepressants&dpID=51CRhuvoM8L&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srchl I’d also like to learn from you, am looking forward to reading about your experiences.
  12. I’m almost at 9 months since my C/T and I’m getting really concerned about my memory. I can barely remember what I did yesterday and I’m doing terrible with memory recall, the past 9 months since my C/T withdrawal seem like a blur. Please someone reassure me that it goes away and we get our life back. I feel like a shell that’s just going through the motions.
  13. Hello, Everyone here seems really wonderful and pretty knowledgable. I am trying to get off Lithium and Risperidone. But I need to do it safely as I am in college and can't take time off like I would like to. It seems it is hard to get off of these meds for many people. I got the "ok" from my doctor to get off of them, as I was only on them to begin with because of some traumatic things that happened in my life and I needed help adjusting.. however my doctor isn't really practicing anymore it seems.. its impossible to get ahold of her, so I am trying to figure out how to do this on my own. I really feel I am ready to be off of them yet cannot find a clear answer on the web as the how to do it. Can anyone help me? I have a very long history with medications (I was pretty sick for about 10 years.. only some of the meds are listed in my signature, mostly just ones during my worst) and while getting off of them, I never had withdrawals from any of them besides Citalopram. Currently, I am on 4.5mg of Risperidone and have been for a couple of years and I am on 1200mg of Lithium and have been on it for the same amount of time. I'm not sure if weight/height/age matter for getting off medications but in case it does I am 5'2 124lbs and am 24 years old. I would like to know how slowly I have to go off of these in order for it to not really effect much of my life or if I just need to be prepared to feel awful. Also, should I go one at a time? And if so, which medication should I start with? I am also on Amitriptyline. I deal with depression sometimes. Will going off of Lithium and Risperidone effect my mood? Also, when I was sick those years, I lived in a room and never left, it effected me very much. Thats why I am on Lithium and Risperidone now. When I re-entered society, it was pretty scary and created a lot of anxiety. Just having to ask someone a question was so foreign and startling to me that I decided to go on these drugs to help lower my anxiety and urges that I would get because of fear. I have readjusted really well, am doing great in school, finally able to talk to people, and hopefully will soon be able to better make friends, but these medications effect parts of my brain that I think I need. These medications make me feel less and I miss feeling what is around me. My art practice has kind of crumbled since I've been on them. They were helpful when I needed them but as I have said, I just feel it is time to be off of them. However, I am worried that going off will effect my ability to think clearly. I have come across this information in a few different places. But all in all, I just need some advice as to how to get off of these. If anyone has any advice for me about anything I have shared in terms of these medications, why I am on them or what to do to get off of them, I would really appreciate it. As I am worried I will fall back into a bad place if I don't go off of Lithium and Risperidone carefully. And although I don't have many withdrawals, I am very prone to side effects. If you have shared experiences or stories with either of these medications that would help me, please share them with me.
  14. Hey all, I am mid-hold from my most recent reduction with Celexa. Over the past month I've tapered from 5 to 2.5mg, and though my psychiatrist swears anything below 10mg is sub-therapeutic and cannot be felt, I feel the difference immensely. I am incredibly irritated in a very physical way. In the past week I cannot stand being touched, I feel cold and hot, and I have chills and goosebumps for no reason. My RLS has come back with a vengeance and I'm not sleeping well. I would like to use a magnesium spray to hopefully calm down my nerves I have but I have heard it is contraindicated with Gabapentin. My legs are sore and my knees hurt from unintentionally hyperextending my legs over and over. I would just like to know what is happening to me physiologically because I think it would help me a lot mentally to just become familiar with where this is coming from. Also, if anyone has advice about RLS or overall agitation, I am all ears. Cheers
  15. misscathleen: taper

    Hello, I'm a 39-year old mom of 2. Been on lamictal since my 3-year old was born in 2014 and when I was diagnosed with postpartum depression (ppd). Wasn’t ever diagnosed with bipolar, but had bad experience with an SSRI and my pdoc suggested lamictal was the way to go. I had very mixed feelings because I was nursing, but I felt so terrible and needed something. I have two daughters and need to be available to them. I made it up to 225mgs and that’s when the last of the ppd symptoms subsided, which was morning anxiety. Been at 225mgs, taking my entire dose at night, for about 2 years. Since all this started, I’ve had moodiness around the time right before or right after my menstrual cycle, which leads me to believe my symptoms were/are due to hormonal shifts. I’ve been talking about tapering for at least a year and my pdoc finally agreed. I started to taper with the help of my pdoc in late Feb 2018. She suggested to taper from 225mgs to 200. Did that for a few weeks and felt good so I started a little more aggressive taper by myself. Moved down to 175mgs and stuck there for 2 weeks, still felt great. Tapered again to 150 and felt fine for 2-3 days and then (2 days ago) I was hit by a ton of bricks. Headaches, dizziness, weird sensations almost out of body, fogginess, morning anxiety, general feelings of blah. Last night I took 150 and then went back up to 175mgs by taking 25mgs this morning because I feel so awful. I plan to hold at 175mgs at night until otherwise suggested. I found your site a while back and it made me aware of the importance of a slow taper. But then I was feeling so great I thought I might be one of the “lucky ones” and didn’t need to taper so slowly. Apparently not! So I’m back and committed to a slow taper even though I want to be off this medicine like crazy. I’m looking forward to hearing any feedback, and I’m in need of help on how, mathematically, to taper. I get the 10% reduction over 4 weeks but the math confuses me. Thanks for reading this!
  16. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I was stressed, tired, overwhelmed, didn’t take the time to go to the dr to refill my meds. Soon it was 1 week off, not bad, then two. By week three I was dealing with an infection in my mouth that was my third round. The endodontist redid the root canal, put me on another round of antibiotics and Tylenol 3 for the pain. That week I felt very off, couldn’t concentrate, and felt very out of it. I thought it was just all that I was taking but come last week I spiraled fast. Constant brain zaps, agitation and anxiety (never been anxious), and memory and concentration issues. I left work on Wednesday and haven’t been back. My dr put me on adrenals, 5-HTP, probiotics, glutathione, and fish oil. I am not functioning well, I feel like I have the flu and I cry most of the day. I feel like I can’t get a grasp on myself. I can’t think straight. Sleeping is ok, I have been waking up a bit. From everything I’m reading I feel like there isn’t much hope to feel better anytime soon. I don’t know what to do. Should I reinstate and taper or should I forge on? My personality is that I am very strong and determined and usually pull myself out of things like this. But this is kicking my ass. And I feel like I have no one that understands. Along with the guilt of missing work and not being present for my kid, it’s all too much right now. I feel like I want to climb out of my skin. I’m desperate.
  17. Hi. Was taking 4 mg of risperidone for two months. Suddenly stopped taking it for a week (didn't notice any withdrawal). Then took 2 mg for two weeks (approved by psychiatrist). Then took 1 mg for two weeks (approved by psychiatrist). Have not noticed any withdrawal symptoms. Asked psychiatrist if it was okay for me to suddenly go from 4 mg to 2 mg, and then 2 mg to 1 mg. She said it was okay since I hadn't been showing any symptoms. I have read that withdrawal symptoms can surface after months or even a year after you stop taking it. I am not sure what that person's credibility was. I have also read, from a .org website that the withdrawal symptoms are mild and rare. I have stopped taking the 1 mg for almost a week, and I am wondering if I will be alright. I have not noticed any withdrawal symptoms, and I feel like I will still be seeing my psychiatrist for a little while at least. I am also wondering if it is true that withdrawal symptoms can surface months or even a year after you stop taking the medication. That just seems far-fetched to me. Any help is appreciated!
  18. Hi all, I had been taking 2mg/night of pimozide, an antipychotic for a skin infection from last Sept-Nov 2017. By mid-November, my brain snapped into wakefullness and I did not sleep for 2 months straight. I stopped the drug completely because insomnia was a side effect then later turned into a withdrawal effect. Its been about 4 months of chronic insomnia now. In the first two months of insomnia, I tried herbs, alcohol, sleep hygiene, meditation, exercise, several sedating antidepressants: lorazpam, seroquel, etc. , none of which worked. I then tried Ambien/zolpidem which worked ocassionally at high doses then lost its effectiveness with a many side effects: nausea, dizziness and nightmares. I tapered off all of these since they did not work. The next month, I had some sleep 2-4 hrs/night cycling CBD oil, Ultra PM (Phenibut) and tryptophan. However now after a month of use, they are all losing their effectiveness and am needing to up the dosage to see if they will continue to work. I also tried neurofeedback therapy for 2 months but it did not resolve insomnia and was very expensive about $4K for 3x/week. I tried taking Mind Lab Pro a nootropic blend during the daytime to see if to could help repair brain, but instead has had me up 4 nights straight, when I was sleeping a little prior to taking this. Was too stimulating, trial and error I guess. I am considering reinstating pimozide to see if it will help bring my brain back into balance from withdrawal, but I am fearful that it could make insomnia worse since insomnia happened as a side effect during taking it regularly. Any thoughts or advice on antipychotic withdrawal, reinstating and how to beat chronic insomnia without meds?
  19. How should I go about tapering off Effexor when I'm already unstable / Effexor is making things worse? Ive never felt as bad in my life as I have while on Effexor - I'm very anxious and depressed all of the time. I was on 75mg (4 weeks) with no improvement so of course doc upped my dose to 150mg (5 weeks now) which has been terrible. I heard "it gets worse before it gets better" but I have had zero improvement with no signs of improving and worse depression/anxiety. I don't believe this is the drug for me and I want to taper off but I'm not mentally well. I understand then 10% method but I feel since I'm having such a bad reaction, is that worthy of a faster taper? Ive been on for a little over two months, my taper will be longer than my time on? Just ready to quit ths the drug that has done absolutely nothing and has made me feel worse. I'm on 200mg Trazodone for sleep - but that is a battle I will tackle when stable off Effexor for a long time. Sleep for me must be preserved during this time.
  20. Hi, I tapered down from 75mg (already down from 150mg a year ago) in the last few months. Took my last pill last saturday. The symptoms are ok to handle, but the worst thing is the itching pain in my legs and arms. It feels like there is not enough blood circulation. I have to keep moving them, mostly at night. As soon as I lay down it is unbearable and I can’t sleep. Does anyone have tips or knows what this is? I tried taking asperine, tiger balm, massage, sauna... I also have very low muscle strenght and endurance. I can only walk for about ten minutes and then exhausted. Maybe also related to blood circulation and O2 in the blood? thanks,
  21. Emotional blunting and lack of positive emotions has been my %100 most persistent symptoms throughout this whole process and I was just wanting to get some feedback to see if this does eventually resolve itself. I can't imagine a life where I will feel like this forever, it seems kind of pointless.
  22. Last summer, after I quit the last antidepressant (after 7 years of antidepressants and anxiolytics) under the guidance of my former psychiatrist, I started rapidly to develop old and new symptoms. I tried to resist but in two months time I fell into the abyss of withdrawal, without knowing what was happening to me. I went back to my psychiatrist who not only did not recognize or mention the withdrawal status, but prescribed new drugs that didn't help and made things worse, like paroxetine. I was lost and fearfully sick, I lost 3 kilos in one week, then I contacted another psychiatrist who still didn't say a word about withrdrawal but prescribed benzodiazepines that immediately reduced the symptoms. Then he added two antidepressants and diagnosed "major depression, relapse". I was in shock. I tried to explain that my initial and main problem were anxiety and panic but he said thet it was all part of the depressive state. As soon as we tried to reduce anxiolytics the symptoms burst out again. That's when something clicked in my head. I searched the Internet for weeks to find someone who could help me out of the maze, and fortunately I did. Now I'm following a program to eliminate antidepressants under strict medical a psychological control, and I feel confident. Psychiatrists in Italy never talk about the risk of withdrawal symptoms, turning people into lifetime patients. I was lucky enough, being a psychologist and speaking English to be able to find the help I needed, but most people go on taking more and more drugs that work less and less. The site people can refer to in Italy is: https://www.smettereglipsicofarmaci.unifi.it/index.php (University of Florence).
  23. I've had issues with double vision and dry eyes since the beginning of withdrawal. But the last couple of days my eyes have been so blurry that it's becoming difficult for me to see. Is this common and will it eventually clear itself up, or should I go to the doctor to have them check it out?
  24. Hi, I am 6 weeks into withdrawing from citalopram 20mg. I have taken it for 20 years. I initially halved the dose to 10mg for 4 weeks then 10mg every other day for 3 weeks now. I am experiencing severe, debilitating headache on an almost permanent basis. I think I've reduced the dose too quickly. After reading this site, I am thinking about reinstating 10mg daily. I see my doctor tomorrow. Any advice gratefully received. I feel terrible.
  25. I’m just beginning my tapering journey and feeling very angry with everything. Would love some hope, a light at the end of this! Please tell me your success stories...
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