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Found 39 results

  1. Dear friends. I am right now in a very big of a situation. My second daughter is coming into this world due in two weeks and i am as much as a wreck as evere. I had used xanax for on and off very small doses but after two weeks of continuous 0.25 mg usage it seems i got hooked and started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attack. Before that i have had twice problems but i managed to pass them with personal power and sort of other CBT. This time was a bit harder. I Somehow stabilized at start of April on 6 MG Bromazepam and 20 MG Anmitryptiline. After the stabilization i started tapering and failed the first time. The amount went big again up to 6 MG and after a period of 10 days i developed some kind of depression even though i managed to stay at work. Doctor prescribed Remeron 15 MG and i was a bit reluctant to take but i am in a very difficult position right now as my wife is giving birth to my second kid within two weeks and apart from that i have a loan to pay and could not afford to be off so i agreed with the doc to start it. Psychologicaly in the beginning i felt good because with Remeron help i started to make big jumps on the Benzo (Bromazepam) and within 3 weeks i have gone from 6 MG to 0.75 Mg currently. I am still scared though because i have never been on an antidepressant before and there are horror stories all around web about all types of them as well. This is the fourth week i am taking Remeron and is not helping to much with sleep some nights due to my worry thoughts, some more it has side effects (high cholesterol and triglycerides are a trend in my family, me no exception to that) and i am only 40 Years old. There are days when i really feel very bad and hopeless in this situation but somehow manage to push it forward. I need help whether i am doing the right thing and in case yes after i am done with bromazepam most probably in 3-4 days how long should i wait to start tapering Remeron.... One mor thing friends... i have never been depressed for all of my life. OKKKK... i have had difficult moments or periods here and there... but only mild situations. This time the doctore tried to cure me with the reason of my fears.... and i think she failed miserably. Anyway.... i was scared out of proportion after three weeks of xanax and some drinking sessions and all went berserk. Give me some opinions on what should i do???!! Should i wait some days and try taper fast Remeron??? (i will be on them total 4 weeks this tuesday). Maybe i am one of those persons who by chance do not have withdrawals... All the best and keep it tight.... WE WILL PREVAIL.... :-)
  2. I am new here as you can see. I need help!! I'm hoping someone can help me get off 10 mg Lexapro. Every time I try to drop to even 9mg, I end up sick to my stomach. I go back up to 10mg and am still sick to my stomach. I have no other symptoms. In my profile is all my information, I don't know how to get it to the bottom of this page. I'm not very good on the computer. Sorry
  3. MOD NOTE: contains content which may be triggering for some members Hi, I have been "stalking" this website for a while now, I saw a couple stories that were a lot like mine. I never knew how much harm these darn medications could do, moreover, I was so glad I found that I was not alone in this. I felt like crying tears of relief when I found this community. Im not sure where to start so I will just give a basic "run-down" of my history; I came from an abusive background. My father abused me when I was younger, and my neighbor "took advantage" of me when I was 8, repeatedly. Im thankful I am not in that situation anymore, but those experiences did leave me with some "battle scars." I was diagnosed in early 2014 as having OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and ADD. I knew I had some things from childhood, like the OCD, Depression, Anxiety and of course the ADD (That one is a bit hard to miss) But I was so shocked to find what had happened to me did give me PTSD. It was such a shock. I was hospitalized in late 2014 for a suicide attempt and that was my first introduction into the Antidepressants. To be honest they never really helped me. I was put on Prozac, not sure the dose, but I quit cold turkey after 3 maybe 4 weeks on it now that I think back to it. No side effects. No nothing. Then I was prescribed with several things back to back, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, I would only take 1 or 2 pills before not taking them anymore as I just felt the medication just masked the problem without actually fixing it. The only one that really did help a bit was Effexor but I got so jittery it was ridiculous I stopped after 2 days of use. again, no side effects, I was blessed. I was given Xanax for my panic attacks, i took it sparingly. Then I was given medication for my ADD, I thought "why not" and gave it a try since I was having trouble focusing especially in the workplace. I was given focalin. It completely destroyed me. I had a OCD flare up like no other. I ended up hospitalized from early May to late July/ Early August. It was a nightmare even though it did make me perform better, it was OCD hell. I recovered in a few days and was put on Paxil. 40 mg. and Trazadone for sleep which was switched with another type of sleep medication. I would take a combination of Trazadone and a cocktail of other sleep medications on and off. The doctor never warned me of the side effects of these stupid medications. I started having Nervous sweats, shaking which I believe to be called "akathesia", hypersensitivity, more panic attacks, PTSD episodes, OCD episodes. and weird sensations in my private parts that from what I have been reading, is called "PGAD" , horrible insomnia, sensations that are not there, so severe somatization, tinnitus that comes and goes, depersonalization, less able to focus, and an increase in paranoia. I ended up worse than when I started with this mess.. I have been though enough. Since I have been stalking this website I have been following a few stories that were a lot like mine and trying to mimic them in their withdrawal. I went from 40mg of Paxil to 21 mg. Probably too fast. I have been following Hopefull, ASkyFullOfHappy, MamaP, Gentle Steps, Petunia, MollyN especially since some of their stories really mirror mine in one way or another. Im sorry for stalking ya'll, I am actually very embarrassed, but I was recently given the courage to make my own account since I feel like I still don't know what I am doing sometimes, and honestly my symptoms, although they have improved a slight bit, they are not where I need them to be. I hope with some guidance I can get on the right track here, and maybe help a couple people out as well.
  4. Skeeter's Journey

    My signature pretty much covers my recent history. For anyone reading this, if you have a short term bout of anxiety, and your doc suggests, Xanax, PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU, read up on how hard it is to come off of it, and consider that before you ever start the med. I was put on it for short term anxiety, was on it for 4 months, and then my doc switched me from Xanax to Valium in one day, I ended up with over 50 signs and symptoms on top of the pain I already deal with on a daily basis. April was when I did the switch, and I did not feel human until July sometime. I am just holding now, before I am ready to start a very slow taper on my own, WITHOUT A CALENDAR! I have been on valium for a long time, but at a dose that is still at least 5mg over what I was on for muscle spasms. I would like to get back to PRN (as needed). My biggest issue right now is stopping the messages that were firmly implanted in my head after belonging to other forums, where to me they seemed to clearly be saying in their messages, as I understood them, that if you are not moving forward with your taper, you are failing yourself and prolonging your agony. Again this is the message I took from it. This made no sense to me, because if you go too quickly with tapering benzo's, you are virtually guaranteeing a trip through hell via Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome/Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). And at one forum there are seemingly hundreds of people going through PAWS. I am not saying the forum is wrong, but the only talks about going super slow I could find were years old or there was one forum that talked about taking prolonged breaks once in a while. I also read the liquid micro taper area, where the main moderator in one forum seems to be very clear in her opinion (again if I understood correctly) in saying that not tapering daily (esp taking a break for 3 days or more) seems to be greatly frowned upon... As a result, I got it stuck in my head that I am failing myself somehow by not continually forcing myself to taper when I do not feel ready to, like I am somehow hurting my body. My only remaining symptom out of over 50 at my peak is a severe sensitivity to artificial sweeteners like Sorbitol, Mannitol, Xylitol, etc. I had to stop reading one forum because of all of the horror stories, and all of the people with Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome. Seeing people talking and being so confused because they ended up with constant severe disabling symptoms leaving them bedbound for months to years, confused because they did what the forums considered a slow to average taper- following the directions laid out for them, during which they seemed to suffer greatly virtually non-stop only to end up with symptoms that ended up being MUCH worse than the taper itself( and lasting longer than the taper did!). I do not get why at that point you do not reinstate and stay on a very low dose until... I finally saw a ray of light (and felt my first hope since April!!) several days ago when I did a search on the internet named "How slow is too slow to taper off of Valium." What came up was a link from this forum called "The slowness of slow tapers", which was started by Rhiannon. It was the lightbulb moment I needed. I am only 5 pages in, it was started in 2012, and is still going. I also noticed you have a Benzo place here that I look forward to visiting!! Thank you for offering the kind of support I have been looking for this whole time, when I first stated looking for help. On other forums, I saw at least 20 comments from people on one forum who said that they cold not bear to read that forum because there were so many people suffering so awfully. Yes, all of the forums offer support, but I think that maybe with so many people suffering that maybe one might need to look at why so many people who follow the programs and taper schedules supplied end up in such a bad place for so horribly long after stopping the med. I do understand that some of these people did a cold turkey stop of the meds, but so many I found had followed a taper schedule and followed the calendar vs how they were feeling. Ashton is a great place to start, but maybe the schedules she provided prior to her passing are no longer applicable, and are possibly now far too fast for some with the understanding we now have of how the mind and body works, maybe? This is a general rhetorical question, I am not trying to slam any specific forum. I did not read just one forum, and I belonged to more than one. I want to be very clear on this! For the moderators and members offering gentle help and amazing support- thank you so much for your time!! Thank you for reading about my experience, and my questions. I feel sorry that you had to suffer through al of this...lol!
  5. I have been on and off celexa, paxil, zoloft, lexapro, xanax and metroplol (beta blocker). It all started my mom passed away May 2014 then 2 weeks later my dad went unresponsive in front of me (thought he had passed - he ended passing 4 weeks later). I panicked and ended up in the hospital with a bunch of tests being done which came back fine. A week later I had a follow up with my Dr from my hospital visit. I told him I was feeling a little sad (probably was normal after what I had just gone through). That's when the medicines started. I was on them from June 2014-December 2014. Had side effects with all of them. 2 1/2 months after I went off I started feeling down and stomach issues, Dr put me on Xanax. After a week of that my heart started racing. Then back on lexapro. That's when my sleep got all messed up! I was literally not sleeping for days. I stopped lexapro after a week. Had to take a leave from work. In May 2015 went on ambien and back on antidepressant. That's when inner shakiness/vibrations started (still have to this day). Stopped medicine in July 2015. Sleep was on and off still. Almost 3 months (Oct 2015) later started having stomach issues and back on zoloft. Took that until Dec 2015. Was feeling OK for almost 3 months (tolerable) then 3 months later March 2016 started having panic, panic attacks bad, head and vision issues, jaw clenching. On leave again from work. It's been hard to leave the house. Was panicking at the store, shower, talking to people. Didn't want to be by myself. My Dr. Keeps telling me it's my anxiety coming back. Why is it each time I have come off around the same time about 2 1/2 months off I get worse. Is it a relapse or withdrawal? My chiropractor is saying it's adrenal fatigue she is more holistic. I don't know what to do..
  6. Littlegrandma

    Moderator note - link to Littlegrandma's benzo thread Hello everyone. I wanted to introduce myself and give you my history june 2015 lunesta 2 mg for insomnia. . July 2015 started celexa for GAD and insomnia. S/A headache, nausea, stomach pain, increased anxiety, blurry vision. Sept 2015 celexa switched to lexapro due to extreme eye pressure I never felt right on the lexapro. My fog never cleared and I still needed lunesta every night to sleep. But it helped slightly with anxiety and I was able to go about life but never really enjoying it. I felt I was always trying to distract myself with menial activity. Very apathetic. June 2, 2017 tapered lex from 20 mg to 7.5. Migraine, nausea, fatigue, loss of balance, ringing in ears, depersonalization, anxiety, sweats, depression. June 25 physical symptoms subsided, so I went to 7 mg making my own liquid. I don't think I did it right. July 6th -7mg with compounded pill. july 11 dry heaves, migraine, increased anxiety, july 15 trembling, panic, racing heart july 20 went to ER for BP 210/207 was put on 25 mg metoprolol and .5 Ativan as needed. ( I was already taking .25 xanax occasionally). Aug 1 upped lex dose to 8 mg Aug 3 suicidal thoughts, panic, trembling Aug 5 upped lex dose to 10 mg at the suggestion of a new therapist. I have not been able to stabilize. I am taking more and more xanax but trying to not exceed total .75 mg day i am left incapacitated, unable to take care of my house or my grandchildren. The tremors and panic remain as well as constant nausea and headache. Aug 7 I had a 3 hour consultation to get into detox for benzo w/d. I was told I was not in w/d and they scoffed at the idea that lexapro could cause w/d issues either. They said it sounds neurological and wouldn't even be admitted for IOP until I was medically cleared by a doctor. I am in despair and have nowhere to turn. Most of my family doesn't believe this is real as they've never had a problem starting , stopping, or switching a/d meds. I'm hoping I can get some good advice from you. Sorry this is so long. I hope it makes sense. I spent a long time writing earlier and lost message when I tried to post. That took about all the energy I had, so this may seem garbled. Thank you for listening and for any advice you may be able to give me
  7. Dear all, I took Sertraline 50 (French name for Zoloft). for only a month and I have developped PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) following a too fast withdrawal. I read the story of some of your members who had PGAD when they withdrew from an antidepressant and their stories looked like mine and gave me hope and I hope they can confort me and assist me because I am in a very dark place. I read the stories of Hopefull anf Broken. Are they still on the forum ? How are they doing ? Until December 2016, I had never taken any antidepressant or a benzo in my entire life. I was leading an happy life with my husband and son in the West of France. We had a chemical accident in december. I mixed 2 products while cleaning my house, bleach and a cleaning product with acid and stupidly burnt my lungs and got a toxic choc on the 27th of december. My doctor thought I was anxious afer the accident and put me on Xanax 0.25, half a pill at night. I took it for a month in January 2017 and was sent to a psychiatrist who put me on Lisanxia 10, a pill a day. I felt suicidal because i didnt understand I was suffering from the Xanax withdrawal the doctors kept changing the pill without any tappering, I stayed on Lysanxia 10, a pill a day the whole February , then another psychiatrist decided to put me on Bromazepan 6 (4 quarter a day). I stayed on Bromazepan the entire March and he put me back on Xanax, all of that cold turkey. And that how I met my worse nightmare, the Sertraline AD: I was feeling very agitated on benzos, my lungs and entire skin were burning and everybody told me it was in my head. I didn't agree so I was hospitalised againt my wish in a psychiatrist hospital. There, they made me stop my Xanax 0.25 cold turkey and put me on Sertraline 50. This happened on Easter monday 2017 (April 17 th). After 2 weeks, I was sent home and started feeling very ill, I had tremors, agitation, fatigue, shakes, flu like symptoms and suicidal thoughts. I went to see a GP who told me I could drop the Sertraline to 25 because I had only been on it for 2 weeks and I could slowly stop it. I went on the 25 pill and then I started having violent withdrawal side effects (I don't know which ones came from Xanax or from Sertraline) : My symptoms : Sensitivity to light and smells, burning skin, hyperacusis, agitation, akathisia, tinnitus and when I thought it couldn't get worse, I started peeing every 10 minutes, got a hyperactive bladder, terrible pains in my genitalias, bladder and pelvic area and the worse of it permanent arousal. Since I have kept the tinnitus in my left ear, the akatisia and PGAD. I was sent to another mental hospital at the beginning of June because I thought they could help me with PGAD. They put me on Risperidone for a week while they made me stop the Sertraline very fast (they made me take it every 2 days for a week then they replaced it with Anafranil 25 that I kept for a week. My tinnitus got worse and my PGAD stayed the same. I was getting sicker and sicker so the psychiatrist stopped the Anafranil and the Risperidone and I was put back on Xanax. I am now back at home, my PGAD symptoms are terrible and I am considered manic and hypocondriac. My doctor wants to put me back in a mental hospital. I can't look after my family and Iam in a very dark place with suicidal thoughts My 3 main withdrawal symptoms : high pitched tinnitus, agitation and PGAD. Pins and needles in my lower back, legs and arms when the PGAD crisis start. . MY PGAD symptoms : Overactive bladder, ongoing arousal sensations in and around the genitals, having to go to the toilets every 10 minutes, pelvic pains, Pins and needle, shaking. It is atrocious and it makes me suicidal. I take 3 Xanax 0.25 a day and a Zopiclone 7 to sleep. I cannot sit because the symptoms get worse and I can barely walk because my bladder hurts. I spend my days crying on my bed with an ice pack on my lower parts. At night I cannot sleep well because of the tinnitus. I went to see an urologist, I had a cystoscopy done and they told me it is not an interstitial cysticis and gave me Lyrica (I am scared of taking it because I fear it will make my tinnitus worse). Nobody knows this symptom in France and people think i am crazy. Thank you for reading my story. Please can you reassure me ? I am terrified and I am suffering greatly. Would it go away ? Is it a withdrawal symptom ? Thank you so much for having this site on the internet. It gave me a lot of confort. Cathyfrench (I am french so I hope my English is not too bad, my apologies for my grammatical errors)
  8. Hello everybody, I found this site through google search after I entered 'escitalopram withdrawal' and I liked what I found here so much that I decided to create an account. What you are saying is very close to my experience compared to what doctors are saying which could basically be summed up as: you see you can't do without anti-depressants. I was in a rush so didn't write down my whole history with anti-depressants but mosty focussed on my current problem. To sum up I have been almost continuously on anti-depressants since 2000. I could say that after I stopped taking each of these my depression would return worse than before combined with other very painful and unbearable sensations which led me to start taking anti-depressants again just to put me out of my misery. First it was Prozac, then Zoloft. My doctor just told me: anti-depressants don't make you dependant and you can stop taking them just like that! Discontinuing Prozac didn't cause any problems: I was depressed all the time basically, even while taking it. But with Zoloft I was in a great period of my life, feeling very stable and after 2 weeks following discontinuoation in 2 steps (as advised by my doctor) I was suddenly and completely out of the blue hit by the worst depression ever which led my doctor to put me on Escitalopram (at that time I would eat crocodiles just to get some relief! My brain was thrown off the cliff as somebody here said. Then I started doubting my docor and started reading about anti-depressants from the perspective of users so I learnt that such abrupt discontinuation could actually explain my depression. I realised discountinuation had to be much more gradual but didn't know about the 10 % rule ;( So after taking Escitalopram 10 mg for 2 years I cut 10 mg into half and was on that half (5mg) for 6 months doing OK. After that I cut the half of the pill to get 1/4 and was taking it for 2 weeks when the pharmacist said there was shortage of Escitalopram so I was forced to discontinue. After a few days I started experiencing extreme irritability and out of body sensations. These symptoms gradually dissipated but the general sense of emotional instability and vulnerability deepened. Around 45 days later I experienced a strong panic attack and went back to 1/4. All along I've been on Xanax which I recently brought down to 2 times 0.25 mg. I'm not from UK and in my country they don't even have 5 mg tablets on the market, let alone liquid solution ;( But i saw somebody here wrote I could make the liquid from tablets myself. Since my doctor has no clue, I would very much appreciate your opinion: what to do now? 2 months after complete discontinuation. I went back to 1/4 5 days ago and already feel a certain relief. My plan is to see if I will stabilise on this and if not, go back to half that is 5 mg and then after I stabilise try 10 % discontinuation as you advise here. Thank you very much for being around and sharing your experiences because left to doctors and pharmacists, we are worse than being alone ;(
  9. Hello, I have had OCD and GAD since childhood and panic disorder since I was 30 years old. I am 48, and this summer completed a taper from Luvox. I plan to taper off other meds under doctor supervision but am currently considering when to schedule tapers since teaching and tapering may not mix. The Luvox taper was diifcult indeed but was not the beast it might have been had I moved too quickly. I have experienced a long road of meds, cessation of meds, and new meds followed by the old meds, and I have been in periodic therapy for many years. I am currently working with self-guided CBT and mindfulness. Several of the OCD symptoms have intensified, so I am willing to do the work. I am literally terrified of stoping the Xanax; my panic attacks were debilitating and drove me to telecommute for years. However, I want to leave anything close to a benzo behind me. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and for this forum.
  10. I'm 20 y/o, male, here's my story. Throughout my high school, i took sertraline, alprazolam, propranolol and others, never with any side effects, tho not on a regular use, only the sertraline was for 2 months and i didn't feel like it did any ****. Alprazolam was taken when needed, so was propranolol. I never stayed on a drug for years. My mom bought phenobarbital for herself, so she could deal with stressful events in our life. She was taking it when needed to sleep better. I asked her to give me too, she then game me drops of phenobarbital with water that equate to roughly 15 mg of phenobarbital. This was around September 6 to 8, don't remember the actual day. She didn't give me anymore, till September 14, when she offered to give me again. I took this along a valerian herb. The same 15 mg of phenobarbital. The next day, September 15, i noticed minor visual difficulty focusing on text and on September 16 i acknowledged that i see an increased visual snow in my vision, palinopsia, trails, more static. Just for you to understand, i took phenobarbital 2 times in total across a week and a half with the minimal dosage. I've had visual snow before, but after that night on September 14, i was perceiving way more static and visual disturbances that i never had before, and this is still here, October 2. Now, i'm asking, is this withdrawal and i should take it again on that small dose of 15 mg, or just leave it and hope it will go back to the state it was before? I know phenobarbital has a long half life, but it should've been gone from my system now. Please help.
  11. Mickeymouse: Quick intro

    Hello all, Since ive been reading these forums ive come to the conclusion that my psychiatrists dont know jack about pills!! So a forum like this seems like my only option at the moment to really get reliable information, and im grateful that this platform exists. Ive been on mirtazapine 45mg for 1 year, and 15mg a year after that. And recently i wanted to quit, but that turned out to be freaking gnarly so i come here with questions that i will post in the tapering forum. Ive been reading up about psychiatric pills lately, and that combined with how my doc talks about tapering ( he recommended going from 15mg to 0mg in 2 weeks ) resulted in me just completely losing faith in pills and the so called professionals. ( 95% of them anyway ) Insomnia is the worst. The depressed feelings i feel i can handle a little bit, they are just really annoying but at the same time it makes me not care about anything when im depressed, including the fact that im actually depressed, if that makes sense. Ofcourse its crappy either way. Anyways, thats all for now, best of luck to all the fellow pill victims PS Ive read that the signature is important, do you put dates and stuff in there? Im not seeing any signatures from others?
  12. Hello, I was diagnosed with fibro in 1994. I was just diagnosed by a rheumatologist with CSS - central sensitivity syndrome. A central nervous system disease/disorder that makes people hypersensitive to almost everything. Here are two studies that might be of interest: Fibromyalgia and Overlapping Disorders: The Unifying Concept of Central Sensitivity Syndromes by Muhammad B Yunus, MD -also: clinical review and education- JAMA April 16, 2014 volume 311, number 15 - Fibromyalgia A Clinical Review by Daniel J Clauw, MD. These articles show how the central nervous system plays a huge role in why so many of us have fibromyalgia CFS/ME, MCS-Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, etc. This explains why I've had so much trouble with antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and withdrawals, along with so many other physical and emotional symptoms
  13. PLEASE NOTE: Member also has a Benzo topic here. ________________________________________________________________ This is a simplified list of this member's drug history: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/13732-maizenblue81-tapering-zoloft-during-severe-acute-xanax-wd/?do=findComment&comment=264799 ________________________________________________________________ I have now been off Xanax from a CT detox in the hospital for 2 1/2 months and having severe acute symptoms still from that that is a complete nightmare and has destroyed my life! Bad thing is I keep trying to tell the doctors I'm the hospital and my family that what I was going through was Xanax WD and they keep looking at me like I was crazy and blamed my symptoms on anxiety and OCD. So they put me on .5mg of resperdal and 75mg of Zoloft out of the hospital then at my one month checkup I got completely off the resperdal and they bumped me up to 100mg on the Zoloft which I have now been on 2 months. I don't think it's helping as nothing like I told them would help Xanax WD other than another benzo and now I'm stuck with the Zoloft! I want to get off but after 2 months I know I can't quit it Cold turkey so I looked it up online and it shows two ways to either cut down a dose or 25mg every 2-6 weeks or so and even slower taper of 12.5 % once a week too get off in 8 weeks and for me with how bad the Xanax symptoms still are I know slow is probably the best for me in this situation but I actually ran out of my 100mg tablets last night and I have enough of the 50mg tablets to start the taper tonight breaking two pills down to where it's only a 12.5% reduced dose. But I only have enough to do that for about 4 days then I'm out! The 100mg and 50mg tablets are different and I don't know how that's gonna screw me up cause when I get my refill it will be 100mg so I don't know? This is crazy my current symptoms are horrible intense head pressure burning and numbness in my head, confusion, dizziness, DP/DR and horrible evil intrusive thoughts are all the worst! Most of which I think is still acute Xanax WD but I want to get off the Zoloft as safely as possible! Help and advice please
  14. ChrisB: Intro

    Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - ChrisB: New Here, starting tapering soon Hi, brand new and for the first time since deciding to taper off long term/low dose xanax, am not terrified as when reading posts on other forums - more heartfelt thanks for that than I can say. I'm 57, been on .25 xanax for 20+ years but typically only one daily. The past year I've apparently not been holding at that or the stress of returning to school full-time and becoming an empty nester/new house has done me in! Last 6 months or so, have had probably 20 days where I've taken a second pill. The past 25 years I've volunteered as a Search and Rescue K9 Handler, including leadership positions - rewarding but also stessful; I still dealt pretty darn well until, again, just recently. Found a pharmacy that will compound, scared but looking forward to finding me again.
  15. I was on Prozac and amitryptyline for 25 years the last three of those Xanax was apart for Fibromyalgia. A year and a half ago I was in such bad shape , thought I was dying. Mainly from Xanax interdose withdrawals. I started taper of Xanax but I checked myself into a rehab drug detox center as my doctor at the time wanted to add more drugs etc. the center stopped Xanax and Prozac cold turkey . They put me in neurontin to prevent seizure. Needless to say I was in worse shape. Horrific withdrawals. And sensory overload . A few months later I stopped amitryptyline. But couldn't cope. So I was put in lexapro. I was on that the whole time through withdrawals, paws, discontinuation syndrome. Due to side effects if lexapro I tapered off lexapro last February . Which was another horrific withdrawal. It's been 5 months now without any drug and I'm a mess. My brain is toast. I can't even type correctly half the time . I feel so physically sick, depressed, anxious etc. I can't do anything , can't read a book, which I always did, I am physically wasted. Can't do much of anything. I've lost friends , family, my life! I am a shell of who I used to be. Each day I wake up in panic, can't breath etc. will I ever get better, will I ever be normal or sane again, drs say I have to go back on the drugs. I fight it every day. But I'm so alone and afraid . The damage these drugs have done to me is horrific and no one, I mean no one helps me or understands. I feel crazy. I am so afraid of the future and just how much damage has been done to my brain and body physically and emotionally. I am 64. I'm not young any more. Will this horrific nightmare end?
  16. Hello. I always had general anxiety issued what are accompanied by obsessivee behaviours. I have usually have been okay to live with it and can function pretty well in society and with myself. Usually things get worst when i get stressfull times, sometimes near hellish. But I have always been able to handle myself. But aftera sever breakup **** thit the fan. I needed helped I was going trough hell for 3 months. Then I visited doctor who put me on 10mg lexapro and xanax first. xanax was for thee short relief and helped. But now I want to get of the SSRis fast as possible, because I am pretty sure I cand handle myself really well. First of all the libido issues. My personality as extrovert and social person is going away. it kind of depressesas. every day is exactly the same, blank. I dont have any stimulated creativity, I need it. So i have been on 10mg for 2 months the issues started like month ago. I did not have any comeup issues. So I would really like to know is cold turkying not so severe for me giving my time on the medication. I want to make this fast as possible. the whole pacage of withdrawl not picse by pice. Sorry for my bad english. hope you get my question
  17. Good morning. I will start by saying that I am a healthy, sober, active woman in a happy supportive marriage and mom to 2 (mostly) wonderfuI teenage boys. Here's my story. I started taking Zoloft 17 years ago to help with postpartum depression and seasonal affect disorder that seemed to be worsening with age. I learned that I could get by with 100 mg in the summer and increase to 150 mg in the winter. A couple of years ago-during the summer- I noticed an increase in my depression. I was lacking joy, lacking motivation and energy, having difficulty focusing on tasks and was often weepy. I was intrigued by the commercials I saw for Abilify which promised to give me the boost I needed to get through the day. I tried talk therapy for a couple of months, but finding no relief, I asked to be prescribed Abilify. I experienced an immediate improvement in my mood and motivation. About a year in, I was discouraged by the inability to make it through the day without napping. Sometimes, I napped all afternoon. My Dr. prescribed Adderall to boost my mood and energy. The cocktail of Zoloft, Abilify and Adderall did seem to help for a while. The symptoms of lacking joy and motivation returned and I eventually concluded that the effect of the Zoloft had petered out. I came to believe over the years that I suffered from a chemical imbalance that would always need medication-it was the only logical explanation for depression considering my otherwise fulfilling life. So rather than increasing the Zoloft, I spoke with my Dr. about switching to a different antidepressant. I had come to believe that the Abilify really wasn't helping my symptoms and was perhaps contributing to the lack of motivation, so in an effort to wean from current medications in order to switch to a new one, Abilify was the first to go. I was running low on the prescription, so rather than refilling, I decided that I could taper with the remaining tablets since I was "only" on 5 mg. I don't know exactly how long that taper was-2 weeks or so. At first, there was no problem. Then about 3 weeks in, all hell broke loose with diarrhea, lack of appetite, crying jags and anxiety. Over the course of 3 weeks the only persistent symptom was debilitating anxiety. I tried eating better, exercising more, yoga, meditation, breathing, vitamin supplements to no avail. Although I suspected the anxiety was related to the Abilify discontinuation, my Dr. made no reference to this and seemed as mystified as me. After 2 months of trying holistic approaches, I conceded to trying new drugs. First she prescribed Gabapentin, 300 mg. With no improvement after 2 weeks, I discontinued. She then prescribed 75 mg of Welbutrin which I also discontinued after 2 weeks. She switched me to 30 mg of Adderall which seems to help boost my mood and energy without ironically, increasing my anxiety. Tired and depressed from the constant anxiety I was prescribed .5 mg of xanax 2 times per day. This does alleviate most of the anxiety. Curious about the root problem and concerned with taking Xanax, I started doing some research and eventually was directed to this site which affirms to me that I am suffering from prolonged discontinuation syndrome (4 months) resulting from my rapid discontinuation of Abilify. I am now more concerned than ever about using even a small amount of Xanax to calm my overactive nervous system, don't know if the Xanax may be prolonging the healing from the original Abilify discontinuation, wondering if reintroducing Abilify at a low dose and doing a 10% taper will work at this point and wondering how long this will last if I just suck it up and suffer the anxiety until it goes away. My ultimate goal was to stop taking everything so I could switch to a different antidepressant to deal with my "faulty chemistry". Now I don't know what to do and it is clear that my Dr. has no idea either.
  18. Hi all, I am posting on behalf of an elderly relative who is 88 years old. I do think that some medications are not suitable for her to be on, especially Alprazolam. What the general physician gave her after a bp spike recently is in the signature. Bp was then 180/100 4 days ago now is stable at 140/83. Waking pulse after 2 days was 60 after Alprazolam. I think the drugs are too sedating and bp could go lower if all doses are not adjusted. She is frail and I am concerned this might be too much for her system. Previously was only on current hyperglycaemia meds and Prazosin 10mg x3, Verapamil x3. We were going through a lot of stress at the time from a bad flu. Now after antibiotics it has cleared up, though she still recovering. Bp is checked 3 x times a day since high bp. I am not sure if the prescribing gp knows what they are doing, they are not qualified in Cardiology or seem to care much about the medications given. Since the worst symptom is bp I asked other relatives to get a second opinion sooner, but they are not convinced. I think the doses should be be lowered paying attention to side effects since there a few new ones prescribed. She has gone to the doc for a long while, I think it is better to switch to a qualified caring doctor who does not give too many meds and is available to communicate with other caregivers since current one does not do these things It is only now that we have begun to check side effects and some meds don’t seem to even treat her conditions at all only giving side effects. She has had high bp for years and probably should be on some but prescribed are not the safest ones, dosages too high, too many drug changes etc. according to research online. It might be tolerated in someone stronger, younger perhaps. People blame solely advanced age for her declining health, but before all these meds I have noticed she was healthier and physically active than she is now. I am concerned that the newest meds might make her feel even worse than she is at the moment if taken in this way. She has not had the care she deserves IMHO. Lesser symptoms are insomnia, dizziness which I’m guessing could have been side effects from Prazosin. All are prescribed for a month till next doc visit. Medicating side effects with more meds don’t make sense. We were going to do the 10% taper before this crises. We were also going to discontinue the said physician and find a better qualified doctor to treat her bp and was overprescribing innapropriately, but in the stress of flu they were not thinking clearly I guess, and rushed too soon forgetting what we agreed upon earlier. They could get better help, yet are not convinced from what online research I show them. Maybe later they will understand and she will get the support she needs. I researched the Beers list and resources for older adults and they do not recommend most of these drugs to be given including antihistamines, dizziness meds when symptom is improved, too many bp meds like Nifedipine which has more side effects than Verapamil which she seems to tolerate better. Is there anyway some of the unnecessary meds can be lowered starting with the benzodiazepine? I am concerned about anticholinergic symptoms and the consequences to her health by the overall drug burden at her age. I would be grateful for your advice. Thank you for reading. Take care.
  19. I started at 60mg of Cymbalta which was 12 pellets inside the capsule. I started to reduce every 14 days for two reasons: Insurance was running out and so was my patience with the meds. Everything was going great until I got down to 4 pellets and now i am miserable. I have severe pressure headaches, brain zaps, nausea, vertigo, panic attacks, agitation, mania, etc. I don't know how much to add back to stabilize or do I just suffer it out and stay at 4 till it settles? Trying not to panic......because I know this will pass. But yesterday, I actually thought, "Maybe it is just a brain tumor and not the meds!"
  20. I'm having a bad problem right now involving Remeron, Ambien, Xanax, Benadryl, Anxiety, Insomnia, GI problems, and fibromyalgia. I have a history of ambien use. 2 years ago I used 5-10MG of Ambien every night for 9 months. I started gradually having mild anxiety and depression throughout the 9 months so I decided to quit and then I did a 3 months taper. It was probably too fast because I had terrible anxiety throughout the process and it never stopped after I jumped. I was clean for 4 months. Then 5 months ago I had an incident which has since plunged my life down the toilet bowl and I have been terribly ill ever since, lost 30 pounds, and my anxiety and panic disorder has transformed into full blown agoraphobia. It started when I took an antibiotic for an ear infection. I had an allergic reaction and I had to start taking 50-75 mg of Benadryl every night. The next day I started a 5 day course of a different antibioitic, took corticosteroids, and took 0.25mg xanax to get to sleep. All was fine until 3 days later when I suddenly got chest/back pain, gastric burning, and a panic attack. This started a 5 month cascade of gradually elevating anxiety and gastric symtoms which was misdiagnosed as GERD. I went on many medications including prilosec, zantac, benadryl, antacids, tylenol, an experiment with librax (about 8 pills), and a few doses of muscle relaxer. I was on a cycle of using Xanax every 3 days and Benadryl every night. Every 3 days I would have a panic attack and take 0.25mg of Xanax, which has an interaction with Prilosec so it was probably actually more like 0.5mg. The gastric symptoms would strangely improve whenever I took the Xanax and then deteriorate over the next 3 days until it was time for the next Xanax. My nightly dose of 25mg-75mg Beandryl also helped and I would typically be better in the beginning of the day and then deteriorate throughout the night until it was time for the next Benadryl. At the time I thought Benadryl was just an antihistamine and did not know that it was also an anticholinergic and a mild SSRI. 3 months ago the gastric symptoms went into a constant steady state with no remissions and I started having wierd muscle twitching and electric sensations. So I went on a witchhunt to remove all of my medications in suspicion that one of them was causing my GI symptoms, which had eluded my GI doctor and all of his tests. First I got rid of the prilosec, zantac, antiacids. This didnt help. Then I tried to get off the Benadryl and that's when the **** hit the fan. Muscle stiffness and Insomnia from trying to quit Benadryl drew me back to Ambien. It started with 1mg doses and then quickly went to 2 and then 5 in a matter of days. The first day off Benadryl I had terrible anxiety and I was immediately in a state of having extreme insomnia and after a couple nights of taking Ambien or missing sleep I also had fibromyalgia, which further prevented me from sleeping as I could not find a comfortable position to sleep in. I've never had fibromyalgia in my life. For the next 2 weeks I would flop between different combinations of Benadryl and Ambien as my condition continued to deteriorate. I was averaging 2 or 3 hours of sleep per night. 2 weeks ago I saw a psychiatrist sleep doctor who Prescribed Remeron 7.5mg. I started by cutting it to 3.75mg which worked wonderfully for the first 5 days. I didnt need any Ambien and was getting 9 hours of sleep. However, I had side effects like dry mouth, dehydration, weakness, exercise intolernce, anxiety, suicidal ideation, memory issues, binge eating on junk, and daytime tiredness. Then on the 6th day I was having muscle stiffness, muscle spasms/twitches, and insomnia. I could not sleep on 3.75mg. After a drink (i dont normally drink), a hit of weed (i dont normally smoke), and then another 3.75mg to bring it up to 7.5mg, I STILL could not sleep. I could not sleep until I added 2.5mg of Ambien, and then I slept for 3 hours. This situation might have been amplified by having a steroid trigger point shot and a sedated procedure 2 days prior. Nevertheless, it scared me away from Remeron. I was scared of the side effects, the dose escalation, and possibly Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. I also quit Claratin 10mg, which I'd be taking for years while going on an antihistamine witchhunt and suspected I had 'Histaminosis'. For the next 4 days I would use Ambien 2mg and then 5mg and then two nights at 10mg, and I was still only getting 3-5 hours of sleep. I was hoping my GI symptoms would go away, if I was on just Ambien for a while. They didnt. Soem of the twitching was still there too. My psychiatrist told me to go up to 12.5mg of Ambien CR. Hell no. I was already possibly getting addicted to Ambien and didnt want to cement that with a long course of high doses and cement this addiction after everything I went through over the past 2 years. Over the last 2 nights I did an experiment where I 'reinstated' Remeron at 1mg and used 1mg of Ambien. One to initiate sleep and one to maintain sleep, instead of using an unnecessarily large dose of a long acting drug to initiate sleep or an unneccessarily large dose of a short acting drug to maintain sleep. Miraculously it worked. On only 1mg of remeron and 1mg of Ambien I have gotten 9 and 10 hours of sleep during the previous 2 nights. However, today I am again having some issues with minor twitching and electric sensations throughout my body, which I woke up with, and after thinking of it too long I am having bad anxiety. I don't know whether I am having a withdrawal from Ambien, a withdrawal from Remeron, side effects of Remeron, a withdrawal from one of the previous drugs (I havent had Xanax in 2 weeks), etc. After having only about 10 or 15 doses of Ambien at an average of 3-4mg per night, am I already addicted? Am I KINDLED? Do I need to taper Ambien in order to avoid seizures or brain damage, regardless of Remeron? For how long - a week, a month, months? Am I having some rare side effect syndrome of Remeron and need to go back on just ambien? Do I need to taper the tiny dose of remeron I took for a week? Do I need to go back on Benadryl or Xanax? Did I get addicted to the Xanax every 3 days? I feel like I urgently need a professional to work all of this out and tell me which doses of what I need to take over what time frame in order to avoid harm or seizures and assure me that I'm not having Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome or something like that. I want my life back. I know these all look like tiny doses and time frames to you guys but I feel like I'm going insane, or I'm going to die. What do you guys think?
  21. I'm 32, I have a 6 year old, and I've decided I want to have another child finally. My GYN says, when you find out you're pregnant, just quit taking your medications. Wtf? I've been on wellbutrin xl, metoprolol, a beta blocker for heart rate associated with anxiety, and random benzos for about 5 years. I've been on and off of zoloft, which was rough. I take trazodone at night for sleep. And I've been on trintellix for a while now also, and I'm up to 20mg. Lately I've been so lethargic and having a hard time with any task, even getting dressed, brushing my teeth, much less actually cleaning up. I've also not been able to really get out of the house if I'm alone. I haven't had a xanax in over a week, so that's good, but idk what's going on. I've gained a ton of weight, constantly getting sick with something, and my skin looks terrible, and my eyes stay sunken in. I really want to come off of all my medications and rely on a more natural approach. I'm tired of feeling like a dead person walking around, and I want to feel things like I used to. I'm also running out of time to decide to quit everything and have another child. Where should I start tapering? Thanks for any advice.
  22. Hi all I'm new to this forum and really in a bad place currently. Last year I was using 20mg valium + 1mg xanax a day for a few months and decided to come off these over Christmas, without having researched the proper way. I tapered off the Xanax by splitting the pills over the course of a week or two and with the valium, tapered again over a few weeks by splitting the pills down. However, this didn't work and left me feeling utterly awful, so on the 3rd of Feb, I web to see my local GP who recommended I start tapering over 3 weeks, starting with 7.5mg, then 5mg, then 2.5mg then nothing. The end result, a few weeks later, is that I have lost my ability to concentrate almost entirely, my sleeping is pretty terrible and anxiety at a very high level. I am due to go see the doctor again in a couple of hours to decide on what needs to be done next. My current biggest fear is that, because I work for myself, I am going to have to declare bankruptcy both personally (I have a 6k credit card debt) and via the company, along with moving out of my rented apartment - to where I don't know, possibly my brother's place as he's the only person in my family with a spare room - and having my entire career and life collapse around me. Having read the Ashton manual (and even showed this to my doctor) I understand the need to taper slowly, but: having tried the doctor's recommendation of a fast taper and finding this doesn't work, is it worth trying to reinstate and then carry out a slow taper? I'm at my wit's end and really cannot see a way out of this: if I wasn't self-employed, I think things would be less bad but at the moment everything seems insurmountable I simply do not know what to do. Any suggestions?
  23. I am really scared and confused; because I don´t know what to believe,am I in protracted withdrawal or relapse? Besides my aprehensivness, my phyisical symptoms are: ANXIETY,opression in my solar plexus, tiredness, diharrea, lack of apetite, due to anxiety, disrupted sleep, flu-like sensation, powerfull emotions, (neuro-emotions?) I think I´m producing a lot of cortisol, is it because temporary brain damage? Phosphatydilserine can help? I don´t have an exact record, but my last dose of Effexor was around July 26th, August and Sptember were awful, October was quite good, and this month bad again; maybe, maybe nuero sensations had lessen also anxiety but I´m getting disrupted sleep, worse. Profesionals tell me to start with ssri again; I feel trapped, in a dead end, very very scared. Please help me, tell I´m not going crazy. I´m also under a lot of pressure due to money problems; is this a triggering issue? I´m in dispair.
  24. Michael: What to taper first?

    Hello,my name is Michael.I would First like to thank everyone for having me.I hope this group can help with my tapering off of psych meds.I know to go slow and 1 at a time.I take Xanax 3mg,Cymbalta 60mg,and Depakote 1000mg daily.Which drug would be recommended to taper first.Any help or feedback is greatly appreciated
  25. ☼ dowdaller: Hello

    Hi everyone my name is pete I am from Ireland, I am currently med free for the last 8 months I was on a cocktail of meds before that including zanex, olanzaipine, and Effexor I weaned off these meds over a two year period under supervision. I found this tough but I made it, I am currently finding it tough at the moment hence I joined the forum. I suffer from anxiety ocd and depression.
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