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  1. Hi, I am currently on 15 mg of remeron. I tried to stop when tapered sucessfully down to 3.75. I had withdrawals with anxiety that made me sucidal and I had to go to the hospital. I have come off all other drugs sucessfully in the past. I am scared to death about ever coming off and wondering if I ever should come off. I keep wondering what happens in the future if some reason I can't get the drug. I constantantly obsess now about getting off the drug to the point I've had to go back on tranxene to keep the anxiety down from worring about coming of this drug some day. Should I just stay on it. If it permantly damages the receptors and they don't repair in your brain would it be best to just stay on it. I have GAD so I may need to stay on a drug for life. I got off prozac some years ago and lived symptom free for 4 years until a bad life trauma caused me to have debilitating anxiety for months. I could not work and could not eat. I dropped down to 100 lbs and had to be hospitalized. I have been stabilized on remeron now for over 2 years. Should I try to stop or would it be best for me just to stay on? If I stay on I'm just going to worry about it until I crack up. Right now I found a doctor in Ashville NC, Dr. Daniel Johnson who specializes in helping people safely withdraw from these meds. He has not returned my calls at all. Maybe he is on vacation or something. I even tried contacting Dr. Peter Breggin.. I'm so scared that if I try to come off my brain will be damaged permantely and will not recover. I know I should think like this but even the slightest anixiety can make me suicidal. I don't know if I can ever risk a withdrawal. I had to go to the hospital for my first attempt at this withdrawal. Some of it could have been extra anxiety by worring about the withdrawal rather than the withdrawel itself, but I don't know. Help, I'm scared to even try. Cheryl
  2. hello there. i registered here to search for help for symptoms that are bothering me and that came after 15mg of olanzapine for 7-8 months. generally, i've been taking olanzapine for like a year or something, i started with a 5mg dose at 2015, after some time they upped it to 10mg, and then i've had a full-blown psychotic episode and i began taking 15mg. i was hospitalized and there they gave me high doses of 5 different medications. when i came back home, things just weren't the same. okay, that didn't bother me, i was still thinking that it's only a phase. then, month after month, i realized that that "phase" is actually... something deeper, different. so i searched about it on the internet; and saw that "antipsychotics destroy brain". i stopped taking olanzapine cold turkey, which was DEFINITELY a very bad idea. at first, i was very depressed, i don't know if it lasted long enough to be called a major depressive episode, but it was severe. i was full of guilt... but, the worst of it all - i couldn't feel a damn thing. i couldn't enjoy a damn thing. i was on a winter holiday and i'm a skier, but i didn't feel anything while i was skiing. yes, i could leave a bed, but i was doing it only because i felt like the world around me would judge me and criticize me if i didn't. people are supposed to feel happy, free when they're skiing, even scared. i didn't feel anything. i realized that i stopped caring about everything, so, you could tell me a good thing - i would feel nothing (sometimes it was even hard to fake a smile, because it was even hard to move my face). you could tell me a bad thing - i would feel nothing. i had a fear of being criticized, but now, that faded too. but that's okay, to be honest, it's much easier to live without the guilt and at the same time energy to do anything about the guilt you're feeling. and i wanted to feel things. i wanted, and not only wanted, but i still want to feel things. deeply. so i started faking reactions to things... i was like - okay, imagine you're a normal person who didn't go through this kind of situation. how would a normal, rational person react ? and then i reacted that way. i still do that tho, it became some kind of a habit. my concentration is very bad. my will is very bad. i have anhedonia and apathy. my cognitive abilities are awful. but i just can't seem to care. and you know, sometimes you feel bad for not caring about things. i don't even feel bad about not caring, i just don't feel a damn thing. i had a period where i was doing better and was motivated to recover. i still want to recover, but i feel like nothing makes sense and i don't know how to get out of this nonsense. if any of you found sense, can you please tell me how ? i know it's an extremely hard and long process, but i somehow believe that it's possible. WHY ? i went to the neurologist and spent a lot of money on some neurological tests, for example magnetic resonance imaging of the brain. guess what ? IT'S NOT THE BRAIN. IT'S PSYCHE. mind. mental. !!!!!!!!!!!! at least for me. tests can't and don't lie. i believe in those tests, even tho i have all the symptoms of brain damage, i surely don't have a brain damage because i have an evidence. the tests have shown that my brain is perfectly healthy, despite my mental disorder. i don't know about you, but i can recommend checking yourself just to be sure, it can ease the pain, even if you do have a brain damage or if you don't. if you don't have enough money, there are local hospitals where you can check yourself. so that's why i accepted medications and i'm currently using 10mg of escitalopram and i started few days ago aripiprazole 5mg. i'm willing to try things. i just feel so brain-foggy and that's stopping me from doing anything. and now, i'll go and search the forum for some advices from you guys, i will write here again. thanks if you read this. ...and yeah, sorry for a really bad post, i'm not so well right now. i'm glad that i became the part of this community, the feeling that i'm not alone makes me feel better. and it's hell.
  3. I was really stressed out after a breakup with a manipulative ex boyfriend and had a psychotic break in November 2016,I thought he was tracking me and was I was taken to hospital by my parents. While there, I read some material and then thought my ex was going to harm me. So they put me on Risperidone 1mg, saying it was going to help me get better. I think I took that for a week, complaining that it was too strong, they reduced the dose to 0.5mg for 2weeks. I hated the stuff and had leg twitching at night, so they took me off and gave me Ativan and Seroquel for 2 days. I then switched to Latuda 10mg for a week and one day, on the way to the hospital, I jumped out of the car, completely scared and was admitted again to the psych ward. (I think it was the meds b/c I felt confined in my seatbelt in the backseat and felt restless, plus I was feeling extremely suicidal). I was readmitted and given paliperidone (invega) which turned me into an emotional zombie and was taking 6mg for 2 months, I went up to 9mg for a week and they lowered it back to 6mg b/c it blunted me severely. I started to develop restlessness, so they switched me onto abilify (aripiprazole) 10mg for 1 1/2 months to try and get rid of the restlessness. It didn't work, but I did become more of myself on it. I was then switched onto 5mg olanzapine (zyprexa) and have been on it for about 1 1/2 months. It has made me gain weight, I haven't had a period in 5 months (I had a period when I was switching from abilify to olanzapine),I feel less motivation, less joy, thoughtless, constipated, etc. I am a 36yr old female and I used to be vibrant, funny, thin, centre of attention, outgoing, active and now I'm none of that. The doctors say I have schizophrenia and I have to be on these meds for 1-2 years b/c I had only one psychotic episode and you can try to come off the meds at that time (which scares me from hearing all the horror stories and I don't want to have the doctor put me back on these meds for the rest of my life). I had no mental illness before this and now all of a sudden I have this b/c I had a psychotic break and delusional thoughts for a brief period of time.
  4. Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.
  5. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  6. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  7. Hi, I have a long history (18 years) of psych drug usage and have been on antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilisers. I recently (1 month ago) started Zyprexa again because I had a crisis, and this time it didn't really work as well as it had in the past. I took 10mg and I passed out and felt awful and later was admitted to a private hospital, where various other drugs were added. I am now on 2.5mg Zyprexa and would like to get off it because I am pre-diabetic. Given that I have only been on it for a month, is a 25% reduction per week ok? I have withdrawn off it before and I am petrified. I feel in general that my mental health has declined quite a bit this year, so I am not sure if I could handle the withdrawal. Having said that though, going off it gives me hope that I will feel better and have my cognition back. Is this a realistic expectation? Zyprexa withdrawal is very rough. And unfortunately Zyprexa has affected my memory quite a bit. I am quite confused too at the moment, because I have seen too many shrinks and they all have different diagnosis and views for me. My shrink of 18 years pretty much gave up on me recently because I discharged against his advice from a private hospital where he consulted. I only did this because he wanted to start me on Abilify to replace the Zyprexa and after one dose, I had horrible side effects which he didn't believe. My life is in a complete mess at the moment and I am very sad at what psych drugs have done to me :__( Thanks Rico
  8. Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  9. Hi people, I've found this site via google. I am a 37 year old male trying to come off olanzapine 5mg. My doctor said to take a quarter less of the tablet to start with. I'm suffering bad withdrawal symptoms including headaches,pains in neck, arms, legs etc, high anxiety, sweating, loss of appetite etc. I came down from 10mg to 5mg fine which I find strange. Anyway I hope to find some help from this site. Thanks for reading this
  10. Hello everyone. This is a little lengthy post although I tried to keep it shorter ... I have a history of depression going back to 2008 after stressful job. In 2012 I started feeling better and was on Viepax and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) at that time. Started running 2 miles a couple times per week and also started spending more time at the beach. Felt mood improvement to the point of feeling euphoric or maybe hypomaniac, which is a good thing for me. Went from 253lbs to 190lbs and it seemed all was good as I felt there was a direction I was going, a progress. Last summer started feeling anxious. I was overexercising because it helped me to maintain focus on my business. Every time I felt relief, sharp mind and could focus and accomplish a lot of tasks. I think I have pushed myself too far and became out of balance. As a consequence I have suffered anxiety and depression. I had suicidal thoughts because I felt guilty and failed to reach a goal that I had. I thought I needed medication that would relieve anxiety and depression that I experienced in the morning. On February 2017 I went to psychiatrist who without reinventing the wheel prescribed me Zyprexa because it was last medication that I took before I felt better. Had I known the side-effects this medication causes I would not go to psychiatrist at all. All I needed was anxiety and stress relief because I thought once these are taken care of, this would relieve depression too. What I got was weight gain of 11lbs despite being active and eating well. It became harder to wake up and exercise as I became less motivated. I became a bit slower and noticed it was harder to focus on daily business tasks. Having heard that Zyprexa is a toxic drug that affects metabolism and causes fatty liver I decided to taper. I would be better without it because my problems were not that big of a deal when you weight in trade-off. I didn't want to gain weight that I worked hard to reduce and get in shape. As I lately started tapering with 1.25mg and had missing days of medication I experienced total depression and I don't know whether it was withdrawal symptoms or something that would happen either way. I had those days with depression before I started taking Zyprexa, so I don't know. To describe, I was waking up late and had no motivation whatsoever to do anything, despite I had a lot to do. It's like all the tasks became blurred and world turned upside down. I think I was finding happiness in food only and after eating, I would go to sleep. A complete empty feeling with no purpose to live for. After reading about tapering I understand that I started tapering and reduced dosage too soon. It is recommended to taper at 10% every 2-3 weeks. I did go from 5mg to 2.5mg and to missing dosage. It was less gradual than it is supposed to. Zyprexa does not have divider marks so I am not sure how to make it exact and less than 1/4 portion. The day before yesterday I missed the dosage intentionally and felt bad yesterday until I went outside in the evening and felt better. I took the 1.25mg dosage 4 hours later in the evening than I used to because I didn't want to experience withdrawal. Today feels good. What wold be your advice to someone who went significantly faster from normal dosage to low dosage and no dosage? Should I get back on 2.5mg and taper off at 10% or 1.25mg and taper at 10%? Within how many weeks should I adjust taper? See my signature for my tapering timeline. Thanks. Thank you!
  11. I'm writing on behalf of my daughter (18) who has now been on Olanzapine based tablets for 2 months. She suffered a shock some time after graduation. At the time, she showed signs of being lost/not recognizing that her mother was present/wanting to go home. After a lot of discussions, we now suspect it was due to being withdrawn (something we unfortunately didn't see as a serious problem then), not being involved enough in external activities and mixture of feeling of not fitting in in high school,some issues about "looks",trying to find an escape on the web (lot of time spent) and overexertion in an attempt to pass each year. After this shock, we drove to the hospital to see what should be done. My daughter exhibited anxiety there and was put on a drip to get some energy and 10mg/day (night dose) Olanzapine based tablets. I'm working from home, so naturally I could follow my daughters progress closely. 10mg/day was a horror story - headaches, early morning anxiety/looked heavily sedated, invoking vomiting upon sight of food, felt that people she heard were talking about her, slight phobia of other people. After two days, of this, I saw that something needed to be done, but since I couldn't get in contact with the doctor in question, I took things into my own hands (but unfortunately without too much reading on the web) and cut the dose to 5mg/day. My daughter's situation improved drastically, and the doctor just indicated that that was OK. At that point in time, I just started feeling very uneasy about those tablets and the doctor - the issue with the high does just made me loose complete trust in that doctor. I called another doctor to get another opinion about the dose but was just given information which I felt was very similar to the present doctor. I then reduced the dose further to something over 3/4 of the 5mg tablet and took my daughter to a Psychologist as I felt the time and progress at the psychiatrist were not giving results. My daughter's situation improved further (less anxiety), but she showed more sensitivity to sound/light/smell and now has more of a phobia that people are talking about her and feels shame that she is visiting a psychologist/psychiatrist . I tried reducing the dose ever so slightly again (using a precise scale) .At this point in time, I had (unfortunately late) found out that decreasing the dosage should be done very slowly - so maybe I'm to blame for some of the side effects due to withdrawl. Yes, I did take things into my own hands without doctor's backing because I simply don't believe these tablets are helping my daughter unless heavy sedation is a solution - so I am looking for any way to get her off these tablets/ finding alternative solutions to her problem. My daughter is now at some 2.9mg/day - I would appreciate any advice as to who could help me with information on what I should do regarding the dose (I am keeping it at 2.9mg for now - although I don't see it helping) , sensitivity side effects and her phobia of what people think/shame (other than physiotherapy). Personally, I would very much like her taken completely off tablets, but would like to hear feedback from a doctor who doesn't take Olanzapine so lightly as the doctors I have met. I forgot to mention one important point / the side effects I mention seem to lessen as the day passes - so that by evening time, I cannot notice them on my daughter and her communication and reactions seem "normal" - another reason why I feel that she should be taken off Olanzapine. My daughter is supposed to start college next week and I'm not sure how she could be helped to cope with that. On the other hand, not attending, besides the obvious , will mean once chance less for meeting people/ helping her to get over her phobia.
  12. Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy
  13. Hi I am currently on Olanzapine 5mg and have recently found the motivation to attempt another withdrawal. I was first put into the mental hospital in 2007 after taking quite a lot of cocaine and drinking a lot of alcohol. I was living in London at the time. I was immediately put on Olanzapine in the hospital and I think I took 10mg for about 7 months then I decided to quit. I didn't know anything about tapering then and must have stopped cold turkey from 5mg or 2.5mg. I had severe insomnia and lasted for about a year before developing psychosis or mania or an extreme state and ended up in the mental hospital again. From 2009 to 2010 I took Olanzapine again for about 8 or 9 months and then withdrew abruptly from 2.5mg Olanzapine again I experienced terrible insomnia. In August 2010 I again ended up in the mental hospital. From March 2011 I again tried to stop taking Olanzapine. I lasted until Jan 2012 before ending up in the mental hospital. This time I was encouraged to go on Lithium. Believing this would be a better choice than Olanzapine I switched to Lithium and again I experienced horrendous insomnia from the Olanzapine withdrawal and didn't seem to get much relief from the Lithium. From November 2012 I managed to get my GP to prescribe Lorazapam which helped with my sleep somewhat and subdued some of the terror and fear I was feeling. I decided in 2013 to reduce the Lithium, which I had been on of 800mg, and I did a really gradual cut of the pills. But I still wasn't sleeping well and I was probably by that time hooked on the Lorazapam and experiencing inter-dose withdrawal. I still didn't sleep much and was very afraid most of the time. In January 2014 my new GP insisted that I taper off from the Lorazapam as they were dead against me being on them. Anyway my sleep became worse and ended up in the mental hospital again. So I was put on 20mg of Olanzapine in the hospital and I eventually stopped taking 0.5mg of Lorazapam. I got a job in June 2014 and didn't want to be so drugged so I reduced my dose of Olanzapine from 20mg to 10mg to now 5mg without any ill efffects. So I have been on Olanzapine 5mg for about a year now. I sleep well but I feel quite tired during the day, I am apathetic and have no interest in doing things. And a big problem for me is I can't read easily. I have decided to taper by dissolving a 5mg Olanzapine velotab in water and reducing the dose by 10% each month on the reduced dose, assuming my GP is willing to give me that. I am hoping if I take it really slow (17 months) then I can withdraw without the insomnia. I am compelled to keep trying to get off drugs even though I've been in the hospital 5 times.
  14. I'm having a hard time taper off 2.5 mg of zyprexa. I went every other day for 7 days then quit taking it and only managed to go two nights before insomnia and anxiety kicked in. I'm on zyprexa for sleeping anyway, is there hope for me getting off this drug?
  15. Hi Everyone, I'm new here, this is my first post. I'm struggling with completely withdrawing from Olanzapine / Zyprexa. I had slowly slowly cut down my dose to 1.25mg's and then I decided to go completely off it. I managed to do about 3 weeks and my doctor (who also gives me psychotherapy) convinced me I was going hypomanic and I believed him and went back on it at 10mg's. This was about a month ago. I've cut my dose down since then. I'm not totally convinced I have bipolar disorder, although at the end of my last attempt to come off I was aware that I was having quite grandiose ideas (e.g., my thoughts were telling me I should try to play serious level sport and when I'm on this drug I don't play any sport!) I'm a bit cross with myself as I did so well to be completely off Olanzapine for 3 weeks and then I voluntarily put myself back on it. I was scared that I was actually going hypomanic and that If I didn't go back on Olanzapine I would end up in full blown mania; which sort of has happened but there has always been outside reasons for me entering extreme states (i.e. extreme fighting with my parents). TBH with you all; I don't know who to believe anymore. Myself, the doctors, I don't know who I can trust. I sure as hell feel so damn flat, lethargic, antipathetic on Olanzapine, but when I come off i'm told I'm going hypomanic. I just don't know what to do. I think my plan at the moment is to reduce, slowly, to 2.5mg's and see how I behave at that level. I may even try chopping that in half and taking 1.25mg's and see how I behave at that. I'm slightly scared that my Dad is paying a lot of money for me to see this private psychotherapist (whose also a psychiatrist) twice a week, and he may be wrong that I need to be on a small dose of Olanzapine. Of course, this is his job and he may also be right and I'm in (understandable) denial that i have bipolar. As I said, I don't know who or what to believe anymore. Lost, but somehow still going. Simo
  16. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  17. Hi! I was in the hospital a couple weeks ago and was prescribed zyprexa and treated up to 25mg. Previous to the medication I was working on an art career. I hated the side effects of the medication and when I was in the hospital I could feel and see all the creative ideas I had nearly vanishing. I want to add that I was also on an antipsychotic for depression and anxiety since my mother just died. I went from a bubbly, creative, ADHD person with a wide emotional range to flat. When I came home I didn't realize I needed to titrate off the medication and went cold turkey. It's been a couple weeks and I'm terrified this is my new normal because at first I had a lot of feelings bubbling at the surface from my mom's death that I couldn't really cope with since I couldn't really sort them out like normal. My brain is foggy and I'm upset because I used to make mental connections so easily that I was working on videos and stories and an art business! I wanted to travel and loved nature! I feel like I also put too much emotional strain on myself because I was making a lot of social plans and not really focusing on my art because of the depression as a loss of my mom. I was wondering if there was any way to fix the brain damage I suffered since I've been off the medication a couple weeks now.
  18. Greetings fellow warriors of the "Free Brain" resistance army, A great battle is underway as we take on the oppressive Evil Empire: Big Pharma and the Pdoc minions who carry out their orders. These last 3 years I have been fighting alone, David vs Goliath style, and have proved no match for the powerful chemical Agent Neuron Walkers. I personally have been battling the front in the northern frontier of the CNS (Central Nervous System) facing the Triple Threat, a legion of 3 pharmaceutical terrorists, who are trying to set up a Caliphate in my brain: Zyprexa, Lamictal, Wellbutrin. The battle must go on…but new strategies are needed. I'm grateful to have found all of you, the coalition of the willing, at this critical moment. We Shall Overcome! Ok, so time to get serious (well, relatively serious). Short version: Hi, I’m the Opal Owl, I fly by night. Starting in Dec.2012 I was put on 20mg of Zyprexa for a few weeks after a drug induced psychosis and 10 day stay in the crazy house. This was later reduced to 10mg—no side effects. About 6 months later I was put on 300mg of Wellbutrin. I had 3 withdrawal attempts from Zyprexa and Wellbutrin. All of them failed due to going cold turkey or too rapid of withdrawal—and it was horrendous. However, I was able to get down to 5mg of Zyprexa with no withdrawal effects and 150mg Wellbutrin (with some negative effects). In mid-2014 I was put on Lamictal (200mg) with the goal of discontinuing Zyprexa. Over the past 1.5 years I have reduced the Zyprexa to 1.25mg—I did 50% reductions: 5 to 2.5, 2.5 to 1.25. I have been on 1.25mg for about 2 months—no noticeable withdrawal effects (in my experience, I can get down to the tiniest of doses with no withdrawal effects. It’s only when I go off completely that all hell breaks loose). 3 weeks ago I did a 50% reduction of Lamictal to 100mg. I started feeling the withdrawal effects intensely this past week—nausea, headaches, anxiety, depression, lack of appetite. All my old friends. Last night I saw my Pdoc and he said “Big mistake!”. He said he would support me going off of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin, but not Lamictal (which he seems convinced I will have to be on for life). So, I agreed to reinstate the Lamictal. 150mg this week and then 200mg next week. Once I stable out, I will decide to take on either the Zyprexa or Wellbutrin. Zyprexa is the most evil and I’m not sure I’m ready for that battle. The Pdoc said he would put me on Seroquel 100mg (1/4 or ½ tab) to help with the, as we all know, insufferable insomnia (don’t have any experience with Seroquel—and am not aware of its soporific effects--any thoughts on this plan?). Perhaps it would be better to start with the Wellbutrin. Thoughts/suggestions/advice would be appreciated. I’m learning from this forum that I will need to settle in for a war of attrition (something my “I want it now!” personality has a very difficult time with). I gratefully await your thoughts and suggestions. Long version: December 2012, Chicago. A drug/alcohol induced manic episode (preceding the end of the Mayan calendar, and perhaps the end of the world) leading to psychosis and an eventual 10 day stay in the psych-ward (one of the most fascinating, and scary experiences of my life. I really do think most of those nurses and doctors were highly advanced AI. Has the singularity already happened? Are we indeed living in a simulation?). After a stay in solitary confinement they decided I had suffered enough (or they were done testing my psychosis-induced special powers and probing the outer limits of human sanity). I was given 20mg of Zyprexa and was almost instantly zombified. I was then bestowed with a diagnosis of Bi-Polar 1 and chemical dependency (bada bing bada bang, that diagnosis took all of 5 minutes. Though to be fair, it wasn’t the first time I received this diagnosis). A few days later I was given the boot along with my prescription for Zyprexa (signed by the Devil). Fast-forward 6 months and I’m taking 10mg of Zyprexa and 300mg of Wellbutrin. I decide, “Well, I’m glad that is all over. How about I kick these meds?” Little did I know I was already deeply entrenched in the briar patch, covered in pharmaceutical tar. So, I go cold turkey and get my first ass-kicking from the man with horns that carries the bag of unfortunate souls trapped in the vile throngs of Zyprexa (on their way to the 7th ring of hell where Mother Zyprexa sits on her throne of Lilly pills). I learn my lesson and decide that a new strategy is in order: Tapered, but rapid, withdrawal. Second ass kicking—“You think it’s going to be that easy?” chuckles the horned one. A few months later another meek attempt. This time with my secret weapon of lorazepam to fight the insomnia. Well, that worked for about a month and then another knock at my door, “Yep, good try. I’ll be taking that soul back now. Thank you very much.” So, I surrender and make a compromise: Here’s my soul back, but let me stay on the lowest possible dose. The agreement is Zyprexa 5mg and Wellbutrin 150mg. This was the second time I had made a deal with the Devil. The first was during my 2012 psychosis when I pleaded to leave the country and was granted permission, but...BUT…I had to pick up every single cigarette butt I came across. Needless to say, I have failed to live up to this promise and fear whether I will ever be able to leave my current entrapment (though I do give credit for the environmentally friendly agreement—who knew the devil could wear green?) I maintain this contract until 2014. At this point life has become painfully monotonous (Insanely, I long to return to the psychosis-induced alternative reality of the psych ward—where in addition to my secret powers, the food was great, the people were interesting, and I could make collages all day). Instead, I’m tired all the time, I’m working less than part-time, and I’m living with my grandparents at age 30. The magic and enchantment of life are gone. I’m about ready to choose “Not to be”, but I can’t quite get over the “what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil?” Then a ray of light, a chance for escape. Yes, an extreme plan, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m offered a teaching job in Saudi Arabia. It pays bank. I can get out of debt, I can gain back my independence. And, with the money I earn, I can put into action my secret plan to get off all of the meds FOREVER (we’ll get to that later). Well, Saudi turns out to be a case of “out of the frying pan, into the fire”. Not surprisingly, I’m miserable. I want to jump out of my 9th story apt. window into the desolate desert below, be trampled by a camel, and disappear forever beneath a giant sand dune. By the grace of the universe I’m put in contact with a Western-trained psychiatrist (mental illness is hardly acknowledged in Saudi. Therapy and psychiatry are done rather clandestinely. However, they have every modern pharmaceutical medicine, and it can all be easily acquired without a prescription). We come up with a plan: I will start taking Lamictal, wean off the Zyprexa and continue the Wellbutrin. 1.5 years later and I’m taking 200mg Lamictal, 150mg Wellbutrin and 1.25mg Zyprexa. Note: I did not do the recommended 10% tapering (wasn't aware of it). I jumped from 5mg to 2.5mg, and then 1.25mg (The smallest dose here in Saudi is 5mg, so I just cut the pill into 4 pieces). So far, I have not had any major withdrawal effects (maybe this is tempered by the Lamictal? This is what the Pdoc thought). However, I should mention that in all of my previous attempts of Zyprexa withdrawal I could get down to a very tiny dose and not feel any withdrawal effects. It was only when I quit the drug completely that hell was unleashed. I have now been on 1.25mg for about 2 months. Satisfied with my current situation, I thought I would attempt a reduction of the Lamictal. So, 3 weeks ago I once again took the 50% route and reduced my dosage from 200mg to 100mg. Things were ok until last week when I started to feel nausea, anxiety, depression, and severe headaches. Yep, my old friends were back. Just this evening I met with the psychiatrist (who I had not been in touch with for about 6 months). As mentioned above, his response was “Big Mistake!”. He said he would support me going off of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin, but not Lamictal. So, I agreed to reinstate the Lamictal up to 200mg. If I go off the Zyprexa completely, he wants to put me on Seroquel to help with the insomnia, though I'm not too keen on this proposal). I also told him about my Secret Plan, which I will now unveil to all of you. The Secret Plan: Wean myself of all my current meds in a 4 month period (goal is by April 10). Travel to the Peruvian Amazon. Participate in a 3 week Ayahuasca retreat (which requires me to be off all the meds), including a diet with medicinal plants to help with withdrawal symptoms. Face my demons and childhood traumas (that may be at the root of my mental illness and substance abuse) and see what else the Mother plant spirit has to show/teach me. Use my savings to stay in South America for 6 months in a safe place to recover and suffer through whatever withdrawal symptoms come my way, continuing to rely on plant medicine and a strict diet. A battle between Indigenous medicine and Western medicine, with hopefully the former being the victor. Return to the US free from all psych meds FOREVER. Begin life anew. He didn’t outright reject my plan, but he also didn’t see it as being an effective long term solution. And he may be right. Is this plan foolhardy? Am I setting myself up for failure again by trying to take a short cut? Is the horned man waiting for me in the jungle? Will I ever drain my soul of these demonic chemicals!? I’m slowly accepting, after reading many posts on this forum, that I may have to bunker down for a War of Attrition, rather than a war of Shock and Awe. So be it. As a lover of the Sufi poets, I’ll close with this: “You carry All the ingredients To turn your life into a nightmare (i.e. every pharmaceutical drug)- Don’t mix them! You carry all the ingredients To turn your existence into joy, Mix them, mix Them!” ~Hafiz So, that’s what I’m hoping to do—mix the right ingredients. I await your suggestions and insights; as well as strength, experience, and hope. Dream Slow, The Opal Owl
  19. Hello. I have been on zyprexa and prozac for 2 years. I tried stopping twice and began to have severe insomnia. The last try was just stopping the zyprexa by itself and after a week of stopping 2.5 mg, the insomnia was so bad that I began taking again. I really want to be off of both medicines, but I'm struggling. My doctor told me that the dose that I'm taking is like taking tic tacs and its not doing too much. I was originally prescribed the medicine because I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't sleep or eat. The doctor feels I should be off of the medicine but she is not giving me much help with tapering. I'm scared that I will be on it forever and I don't want that. How do I taper from 2.5 mg successfully?
  20. Hello, everyone. I have been reading everything I can on Zyprexa tapering, withdrawal etc. Our story is different. My husband was diagnosed with a degenerative brain disorder originally known as olivopontocerebellum atrophy. It is now known as Multiple systems Atrophy. This disease is progressive and fatal. no known cure. He is losing all ability to walk , talk and eventually swallowing. He had an injection of a steroid for hip pain that caused him to have a severe psychotic episode that didn't resolve for over 2 weeks. desperate for relief he was put on seroqual for short time and it made it worse. Started on Zyprexa 5 mg and the psychosis finally stopped. Having to deal with so many other issues related to his disease he remained on Zyprexa for 10 years. He hated the feeling of lack of motivation and zombie like side effects and so he went to 2.5 several times nd it made it worse. Finally, I found this site and we are into the 8 th day of weaning. He is at 4.4 dry cut because I am in the process of getting MD, Pharmacy etc to obtain a better method and more specific precise dosage. Today has been his worse day. My question and I am sure it would be difficult for anyone to answer but with already having the inability to walk etc. How the hell do we get off this med. Is it worth it if you have only a few good years left. How do I support him with this when So many say it takes forever to stop and feel good. Thanks for letting me vent. Sincerely, Lynn
  21. My psychological issues started in high school - I experimented with halucinogens, for a higher knowledge. However, later on I started to participate in techno parties and this destroyed my sensitive psyche. First depression, then toxic psychosis. I was hospitalized 6 months, for schizophrenia, then addiction treatment and received several diagnosis since then. My self-esteem lowered quite a lot. From my childhood, I am a personality and anti-authoritarian, I did art and so on, which made psychiatrists always confused (literally, they often didnt know completely what to do with me). During hospitalization, I tried to stop smoking, doing sports and learning, I felt quite well soon. But later on I started to smoke, started to drink alkohol as proposed by my psychiatrist to go to parties to have social contacts. It was a very renowned doctor, however today patient himself. However, I started to study at college, though not realizing i am completely dump on antipsychotics, always not understanding where the hell my creativity and inteligence from high-school disappeared. Of course - the diagnosis was to be blamed. I ve been always interested in religion. in 2006, i tried to do yoga, and from 2007 i started to do daily. I really feel I was completely closed and dump in that time, didnt realize how diet, good company etc. are important as well. But in 2008 I started to do social work with autistic persons, which made mi stronger and forced me to start to travel, go to mountains, do sports etc. In 2010 I enrolled in a prestigious social work Master program. I didnt enjoy, but it definitely re-thought me how to use critical thinking and real scientific approach. In 2011 i did a research in India on ayurveda, social work and autism, which i accidentelly succesfully completed by skipping my doses for 7 days, when my brain started to work for a while. Going back home, I started to experiment with ayurveda myself. Soon, I lowered the dose from "therapeutic" doses to 5 Mg of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin 150. I started to have conflicts with my psychiatrist, my colleagues and my profession in general. By ayurvedic life-style, good job etc. I came to decision to withdraw in 2015. I had some knowledge of recovery movement, but I did a plan which was complete failure. I thought that ayurveda and yoga would help me, and only that. I underestimated the rebound and all these things. I did quite a bad panchakarma in India, which happens to a lot of westerners, but for me it was disaster. I started to meditate, do pranayama, on my own, which made me terribly ungrounded. In autumn 2015 i felt enthusiastic, I was completely off medication. I felt my inteligence, creativity, clarity came after 15 years. But, I stopped to sleep, and few days later i had visions or quazi-spiritual content, started to have depression, all rebound symptoms and finally some symptoms from my original toxic psychosis. I left my home and job, to protect clients and spouse and have less stress. In that time, I was without any contact with psychiatrists etc., didnt believe them anything. But in my state of mind I succumbed to suggestions of people around me that psychiatry changed. I couldnt, however, find any that "new psychiatrist" which was another sign of "not able to have a safe therapeutic relationship and therefore paranoid". Because I didnt have safe home, too, I was finally hospitalized in a very modern hospital in Prague. However, very soon, I realized that psychiatry hasnt "changed", rather, it is quite worse then i used to be. So I did everything to be realesd from the prison. I found a new flat, and started to meet my spouse again. I tried a psychotherapeutic program, which was "new", but same patterns again. Finally, my yoga teacher recommended me a private psychologist, and I am in that process now and it helps. I started to very cautiously do yoga again. I found a physical job - gardens and ecological agriculture. This makes me grounded and gives time to plan everything. I am going to do social work only part-time, to reduce stress. Last 3 years I worked with refugees, and you know what is happening now in Europe... I am preparing to have a house with a garden, to stay grounded during the next year. I am discovering a healing power of nature and physical work, which is well related to ayurveda philosophy. I know now that yoga is powerful tool, and in India usually corrupted. Its a tool, which can helps but also harm. I try to focus my attention to my body, which is grounding yoga technique, not to think much. I am not looking for "spiritual" fantastic experiences, rather for true and the Earth, and rebuilding my life. I also strive to find new supportive friends and I am partly succesfull. And I read this forum, because these information are gold, and no psychiatrist in present state of affairs will do this job for me, unfortunatelly.
  22. I used to be very happy and funny guy who loved dancing and enjoyed going out with friends until one night I got drunk and someone put drugs in my drinks.I still dont know what that drug was but I felt like my legs were burning and I became very agressive and delusional.I got locked up for trying to brake into a house and send into a mental hospital. I was forced to take zyprexa for 3 months and after that zoloft for 2 months. Since then I lost all feelings and emotions. For all I mean: fear, love, hate, envy,everithing.I've Lost all my friends. No desire to live, I feel like an empty shell. Complete lack of creativity, lack of social skills Lack of empathy, lack of motivation and a sense of accomplishment. 5 months ago I stopped taking zyprexa but I have no improvement and Im beginning to think that my brain is permanently damaged by these drugs. Is there any hope that my brain will recover?
  23. Need some advice. Was given 15 milligrams Zyprexa in the hospital for anxiety and depression. Been on 15 milligrams for one month. Stopped taking it because of restless legs and now my anxiety is back very high. Should I have tapered off after only being on 4 One month. Is this just my withdrawal or original anxiety returning. My doctor wasn't much help he basically just said that I could have anxiety again after stopping the medication but did not tell me that I needed to taper from it. Also taking Prozac for a past 5 weeks 20 milligrams a day. And two milligrams clonazepam.
  24. I am posting this on behalf of my husband who is quite unwell. I am in a very vunerable place watching my husband deteriorate so please be kind. We are in our 60's and have never experienced anything like this. My husband was administered antidepressants for depression over 30 years ago and has remained on antidepressants all this time. I cannot recall what they started him on but maybe 8 years ago he was moved to Effexor XR 75mg. When it was increased to 150mg - we noticed a lack of feeling and low libido. We discussed the idea of coming off the Effexor XR and did this with the aid of high quality supplements - tapering by reducing the beads over a year. There were horrible side effects - nausea, high anxiety and then the concentration started to be impacted. After six months of being off the Effexor XR he deteriorated very quickly to the point where he became Psychotic and he couldn't get his brain to think how to get himself into the shower. It was like his brain had frozen. He kept saying I am losing it! Unfortunately he was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward where they administered 10mg Olanzepine and 75mg Effexor XR then increased it up to 150mg. He was released after three weeks. He was on Olazepine for about three months and the Psychiatrist reduced him off that. Because he is still not stable the Psychiatrist was not sure whether to increase or reduce his medication. He has gone for the latter and we are administering 112mg every other day at around 10am this is our 3rd day (eg 150mg one day 112mg the next and so on). I am monitoring him closely and notice that he is so much more responsive in the morning and quite normal, although says he feels really tired. His memory and concentration has been affected. He has blurred vision. After his medication is given I notice he begins pacing, not as responsive to talking and becomes quite anxious. The Psychiatrist says he has had a relapse and has major depression. I don't know who to believe anymore but I just want my husband well again. Please help?
  25. Hi there, I'm so glad I found this forum and would appreciate any advice on tapering off zyprexa. I've been on this medication for about 4 months. I'm also taking Effexor. I had a serve depression coupled with anxiety and I was given zyprexa for insomnia. My psychiatrist told me that unlike benzodiazepine that it was non addictive. Although, recently he has been has been tapering me off the zyprexa. I was taking 10mgs at one point and then reduced to 7.5mgs, after a few weeks to 5mgs, then 2.5, with no significant withdrawal symptoms. After being on 2.5 for a couple of weeks I was again reduced to 1.25. I was taking that dose and not noticing symptoms for a few days. Then I went to my psychologist, who said it was such a small dose and as I could sleep at night, I could probably stop. I did, because the zyprexa made me drowsy in the morning and I keep on having rosacea flare ups while on it. I felt great for 2 days, just like my old self. Then suddenly on the third day I felt like I was getting the flu. Lots of feeling hot, sweaty and clammy with headaches. The next day I had intense anxiety. I figured it must be something to do with the sudden stopping of zyprexa. I phoned the hospital (I had been an inpatient for 2 and half weeks while meds were adjusted) and they told me to take 2.5 again (which I've been doing for 5 days) and make an appointment with my psychiatrist. I will see him in a few days. His plan was to have me on 1.25 for 1-2 months and then he said I could come off and wouldn't notice anything. Since I've started on the 2.5 dose, I wake up drowsy, feeling depressed and have anxiety and a general nervousness through out the day. I hope this will improve. I don't like zyprexa. It is very drying for my skin and aggravates my rosacea. I've experienced tinnitus and I feel zombie like when I wake up. It takes the best part of the morning to feel awake. I'm able to sleep on the low doses and even when I wasn't taking it for a few days. So the initial reason for taking it is no longer valid. But I'm stuck with a dependency. After taking zyprexa and Effexor I have no interest with the things I used to enjoy. I don't feel the sense of being happy to be alive, I just struggle through each day. My psychiatrist will probably say to cut the zyprexa and stay on the 1.25 for a month or two. But wondering if this will work after reading other posts. 1.25 to nothing might still give me those awful withdrawal symptoms. Has anyone any advice? Btw I'm on 225mgs of Effexor, which I take in the morning. I understand that's a really tough one to come off too. My psyc said I would be on it for another year and reducing the dose during that time. Thanks in advance. LucyG