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Rachel1963: Up and down symptoms


Rachel1963

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Didn't end up feeling normal today. At 10 am I had anxiety and a foggy brain and a bit of skin prickles, less than yesterday but still here. Felt a little blue at 2:30 but went away. Am now starting to feel normal at 5 pm.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Had a few weepy times too.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

The fact that you are already stabilising indicates you should stay on your current dose.  There isn't any way to speed up healing - brains take the time they take.  Further changes are more likely to cause further instability and therefore slow down healing.

 

How did you feel after you stopped the fish oil?  Any better? 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Yes I've calmed down a bit after stopping it. Okay I will stay at this dose and wait.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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I agree with Karen. You actually sound like you are beginning to stabilize beautifully. It's going to be up and and down for a while but you are definitely on the right track. No need to go up; besides the risk of side effects, you would just have more to taper down from later. Hang in there, full stabilization will happen with time.

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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Thank you Rachelina...I will give it some more time, that's so wonderful of you both to encourage me.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Last night I had a very scary night. I woke at 3 am with electricity through my body. It took awhile to go back to sleep. I feel very despairing this morning. It scared me and I'm thinking that I will never get better.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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That happens to me too! You are definitely getting better. Weird symptoms are going to pop up from time to time as you stabilize. It's all just part of your brain finding its balance again. Try not to give it too much importance.

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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Isn't it awful? I feel sorry for my poor brain being all messed up like this. I'm so glad my depression is getting better. That was the worst. My fear is that I will only get so better and that will be it and I'll never be able to go back to work and I will live a life in purgatory forever. That's why I was wondering about the updosing. There are people here who have needed to take a higher dose than their original to feel better. If they had not done that would they also have stabilised?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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And I'm happy that terrible wound up feeling is gone too, where my insides were as tight as a spring and I had to keep moving. The next worse is the fogginess. It's very frightening to me looking at the world through a fog, as if I'm not really here.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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I'm not really getting any good days now.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

How about good moments, however brief?

 

For a long time that was all I got...

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Thank you Rachelina for your encouragement! This is all so new to me. I am trying trying trying to keep a good attitude but I just don't feel well. I'm still going out with my friends and they are patient with me which is so great.

 

Are you feeling better now Bubble? I hope so, it makes me feel a bit better when I see that many people are doing very well and I'm happy for them and hopeful for me as well.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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My bad day and scary night yesterday set me back a bit and frightened me. Today I woke up at 9 am again and didn't have any symptoms. Twice during the day my mood dropped and I felt a few vague prickly sensations but they went away and my mood came back up again. And even yesterday with my bad day I got a window at 6 pm and enjoyed going to see the Revanant with a few friends. It was so nice to be enjoying a movie with friends. There is no denying that I am getting better. When I went over my symptoms I could see the difference.

1. Depression - was the worst, now just a couple of mood dips that go away again.

2. Inner tension in morning - was awful too, now pretty much gone.

3. Foggy feeling/yucky feeling - comes and goes, mostly in am, going away in Windows.

4. Prickles and stings - intensity is much less, some days is barely noticeable.

5. Electric feelings at night - used to be every few days, night before last night was first in a couple weeks.

6. Obsessing/ ruminating - past week is less.

7. Nausea and gagging - pretty much gone.

8. Cognitive function - getting much better this week.

9. Burning skin - pretty much gone

10. Feelings of dread and fear - barely noticeable

11. Anxiety - here and there

13. Feeling week - pretty much gone

14. Chills - mostly non-existent

15. Wobbly feeling inside - pretty much gone

16. Hot flashes - just warm feelings a bit

17. Headaches - gone

18. Nightmares - gone

19. Intense dreams of my children - gone

20. Palpitations - vague feeling maybe once per day

21. Sinus pressure - gone

22. Tiredness - much less

23. Insomnia - only here and there - starting to have nights of sleeping the coma of mirtazapine

25. Muscle twitches - once a day somewhere on my body - actually had twitches in my baby finger tonight when I got my mood drop.

26. Sore eyes - still there a little bit

27. Crying - a couple of times a day feel a bit overwhelmed and have a cry for a few minutes, a feeling sorry for myself moment.

Plus I've woke up this week a few times feeling normal which I have not since the beginning.

And nearly every night except one where I've had Windows from about 6 or 7 pm on.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

You're on your way :).

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Fingers crossed Karen! Two clear-headed mornings in a row!

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Of course they didn't stay clear, but in and out of fog; I suspect it will get less as well.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Take what you can get and keep moving through those bad days knowing as you heal they will get less and less! Fingers crossed you have more and more windows!

40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding.....

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Thanks J! I have to constantly be checking to make sure I'm getting better. I guess I'm a little pokey compared to most, but I have also found people who took three months to stabilise so I've still got six weeks to go before then. Today was a milestone in that it was the first time I woke up clear headed on a bad day. Even though it went away again it was a milestone for me. I could feel my brain trying to make a window all day, things would start to clear up and then fog over again and then start to clear and then fog again. Between 3-4 pm I had a panicky yucky feeling very intensely that left me shaken. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Then it left as quickly as it came. Not nice. That was the one time I cried today.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator

The first window I clearly remember was about 18 months into my taper and lasted about 15 minutes.  A couple of hours after it ended I realized what had just happened and said out loud "hey, that was a window, they really do exist."  From then on I was able to notice them more often.  Hang on to the little five minute periods where you can say "I felt pretty good there for a few minutes"  it gives your body/mind positive reinforcement that it's going in the right direction. Every little bit of improvement counts.

 

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Brass I couldn't imagine that. You are made of strong stuff...I don't think I could have kept the faith to be completely honest with you.

 

I enjoyed a window today from one pm and so far it is 6:40 and I'm still okay. When I say window I mean that literally; that the foggy feeling is gone and I feel clear and in the world; that doesn't mean that I'm not wobbly or weak or having other symptoms. It's very hard for me to feel foggy like that; I have Asperger's Syndrome and any strange feelings in my body or distortions in my cognition make it very difficult for me to cope.

 

I was reading that 23% of North American women in their 40's and 50's are on antidepressants. No doubt because of the depression that menopause can bring but no warning or instruction on what these drugs do to your brain or that they have to be carefully tapered. If someone had told me this I would be in a very different position. I have ever only heard of short little tapers; disgusting.

 

I plan on telling as many people as I can about tapering.

 

Anyhow, I enjoyed my window very much today and will take this as a sign of more to come and my poor CNS starting to function better. My mom and I went to the movies; 'Brooklyn', we went for a nice lunch, I did a French lesson on my app! My first one since all this happened! Then I did a bit of embroidery on a quilt square. I was very grateful for this window and am starting to believe that I really am getting better. I think the other times I was having good days after updosing were just the drug kick starting my brain a bit but then faltering because the symptoms were so intense and my brain was so befuddled at that point that nothing but a slow undoing of mess bit by bit could help. On that note I have not had prickles on my skin for three days now and I have had them every day since the crash.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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After my lovely window yesterday that lasted until bed I woke up clear headed this morning but by 11:30 my vision started to fog over and I got that yucky feeling of a bad day. After yesterday I really thought I would have no more bad days. I guess I'm pretty silly. However the intensity of the bad day was not as bad. I only had a tiny minute of crying when my mom suggested I have a nap and I told her I haven't had a nap in 2 months. At least I woke up feeling good. That is something new for my last two bad days. It's 5:30 and I haven't got a window yet. I don't know if I will or not. Is it possible that I will continue to get bad days and they will leave by intensity as opposed to just stopping?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

That's exactly how it happens. Healing isn't linear. Have you checked the thread on windows and waves pattern of stabilisation?

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Oh! So I can expect bad days but they will lessen and lessen in intensity! Okay. I have read that Bubble but will reread again, thanks for answering me!

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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I can't find that thread :(

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Nope I found it. Another question; do I keep waiting at this dose until the bad days are much less before tapering?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Thanks Brass. Now that I know where it is I can find it again. It's a very long thread.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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I am hoping that in another month or two they will be much better. They are much less than they were a month ago and my good days are much better too. Is that a realistic hope?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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My goodness I used to shake like a leaf, have chills and chattering teeth and depression that was unbearable plus it started right away as soon as I awoke and now it's starting about 11:30 and I only have an antsy feeling and a lump in my chest, foggy head and two prickles on my legs as opposed to many constantly.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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' Like you have read a small updose can take many weeks to several months to take affect. We have to develop the patience of saints to get through this'

 

Brass Monkey said this to me earlier. I guess my answer is right here.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thank you so much Brass...I need a hug more than anything right now.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Rachel,

 

Hugs from me too.  While you are still noticing improvements just keep holding, especially while you're still getting some bad days in the mix.  You are noticing some small but sure signs of healing, so be encouraged.

 

Karen

x

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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I had such a bad night last night. I was thinking of going to a hotel and taking a whole bunch of pills so my son wouldn't find me at my apartment but I don't want to die. I just want to feel better. I have to go to the psychiatrist today. I suspect he will try to put me on a higher dose again. I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll feel a bit better later on. Thank you for the hugs Karen. I appreciate your help so much.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator

Hi Rachel-- I'm so sorry that you had a rough night.  Suicidal ideation is one of the scarier symptoms of WD and is quite common, but it is just the drugs playing with you.  If you get any thing more serious than just passing thoughts though please get some face to face help to see you through the moment.  This is a serious business and we have to do everything we can to keep ourselves safe.  You're  getting hit by a bad wave but it will pass, just hang on and take it minute by minute if need be.

 

((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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