Rachel1963 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 I haven't had one of those bad, sad days since the one I mentioned above on the 10th! Those and the brain fog were the worst! I can't believe they are going away omg!!!! You told me so and I wanted to believe you so much and I hoped and hoped and you were right!!!!! I know I can still have some waves a bit but everything is starting to get manageable! I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 On Saturday I went dancing with my girlfriends. I have done this before during this hard time and just went through the motions and I was tired and aching and miserable and left by 11. But this time i felt my body getting in tune with the music and I felt happy dancing, like my spirit is returning to me. It probably caused the anxiety the next day but it was worth it. I danced and laughed and enjoyed myself! I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
AliG Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Rachel. That is so awesome ! Hopefully , it will only continue to get better , from this point on . Well done , you ! Hugs, Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 Thanks so much Ali! I couldn't have made it this far without you and the other lovely folk on here supporting my big baby self. You guys are earthbound Angels!!! I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted February 15, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 15, 2016 Great news Rachel. Maybe you can prepare some meals for those days you are at work? Something to make it flow smoothly. 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 That's a good idea Karen! I will have to take my pill earlier as I will be going to bed early to get up early, will that be okay do you think? I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 16, 2016 Author Share Posted February 16, 2016 The last bad day I had was actually February 9. That's a week without a bad day! I thought I would list the symptoms I still have so I can compare them down the road: - still a bit foggy every couple of days for an hour or so in the morning but clear most of the time - some anxiety here and there - a tiny bit shaky in the mornings here and there - some fear/dread feelings in the morning. - eyes a bit tired here and there - me a bit tired here and there This all lifts in the afternoon about 2-3 pm and I feel mostly fine the rest of the day. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted February 18, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2016 It's probably fine to move the time back a bit. Perhaps you can gradually change it in these days leading up to work starting. 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Yes that's a good idea...I will go to bed a little earlier each night starting Sunday night...I take it at bedtime as it makes me sleep. Thanks Karen xx I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 I got some frozen dinners to take to work with me. I'm pretty nervous because I suspect people will be watching me...I'm sure my boss will pop in to ask me how I'm doing. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 After not having the bad day feelings for nine days I woke up very sad and sure enough became foggy and had the bad day feelings. I'm dissapointed. How come? I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted February 19, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2016 Have you read the thread on the Window and Waves pattern of Stabilization yet? The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 Yes but I thought once you started to stabilise you just got better and didn't have any steps back. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 So even if I am stabilising it is possible to have a little dip and then forward again. It wasn't as bad as previous bad days. I didn't get any of the physical symptoms except for tiredness and i wasn't as horribly sad as before. So I guess that's something. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted February 19, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2016 Please read the entire topic Rachel from the start. You may have missed the point. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 "This was my experience although I had the "holes" then the "good windows" (although for a very very long time the good was pretty bad). I still have some residual symptoms with the holes/windows, but now they do not stop me in my tracks the holes are more of a nuisance." Quotes from the waves and Windows. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 I guess I thought it was different for reinstatement than being off the meds. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 But I remember reading a very good thread on taking months to stabilise after reinstatement; that even when getting better people still have symptoms; they can just cope with them better. I'm truly grateful that I had nine days without a bad day...so generally I am healing...I'm just having a little dip now and will be as Alto put it 'slogging forward again'. My husband and doctor are right. I'm impatient I guess. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 On the bright side; yesterday and the day before I woke up feeling normal! That's the first time this has happened since I went into withdrawal! So overall I am getting better...just a little step back and nothing compared to what a bad day used to be; teeth chattering, gagging, suicidal and unable to function; prickles and stinging all over my body, feeling like crawling out of my skin; and that was only a month ago... I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted February 19, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2016 On the bright side; yesterday and the day before I woke up feeling normal! That's the first time this has happened since I went into withdrawal! So overall I am getting better...just a little step back and nothing compared to what a bad day used to be; teeth chattering, gagging, suicidal and unable to function; prickles and stinging all over my body, feeling like crawling out of my skin; and that was only a month ago... Excellent news Rachel... so good to hear! Congrats... you've worked hard to get to this point. As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 Thanks Skyler; that makes me feel a lot better! I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 20, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 20, 2016 Hi Rachel, I am still learning about this myself. I had a bad couple of weeks when I tried to do a homemade dirt, and so I returned to dry cutting on Sunday night and felt better the next couple of days. Yesterday, though, I had mood swings that left me in despair again. The morning was bad, depressed, and then I went outside and got some exercise doing a few things and felt better and better. Then, a couple of episodes of The X-Files and then back outside to do more work. I felt fine after getting out. That was the first time I was aware of having "mood swings," though I know it's happened before, just didn't pick up on it. So, still trying to stabilize, I guess, after the perturbation of trying the liquid. I should have done the gradual switch over to the liquid rather than direct. And, I shouldn't have made up a batch of more than four days at a time. Not a fun learning curve. You are getting there, and so am I. The bobble days just suck, though :-) SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 I like the X Files too! That garbage guy was just darn creepy lol! Thanks SG; i suspect that I may have helped this bad day to get here by eating an enormous T-bone steak for dinner last night. My tummy was upset from the second I put the last bits in but my friend made it and I didn't want to say no plus it was yummy. I usually only eat a bit of fish and chicken. As the evening wore on I felt worse and worse and I'm sure it still wasn't digested when I went to bed. I suspect my body was really struggling with a couple of pounds of red meat half the night trying to digest it. I felt sick until about 3 pm along with my bad day. We are so sensitive in this aren't we? And my bad day was less intense and the strangest thing happened. I got a bit foggy as usually on a bad day but it only lasted a couple of hours which has never happened on a bad day. It usually lasts all day long. So that is a good thing. I am glad you are feeling better and I hope I will be feeling better soon. Hugs, Rachel I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 I am at work right now, my first day back, and so far so good; I was terrified on the drive in because of the dejavu from the last time I drove to work; I was nearly crazy from withdrawal. I've made a list of my current symptoms to add here. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Sleep well most nights. - I feel tired when waking up. I wake either clear and normal or a bit antsy and I don't feel quite right, and then foggy for a couple of hours. The fog has not been longer than 1-3 hours in a couple of weeks. I feel some fears of the future, different fears. Then I may get some mild prickles or stings around the bottoms of my legs for up to 1/2 hour. Then about noon I get a vague inner tremble that only lasts a minute or two. Then either about 1:30 or 5:30 I feel my mood dip and I feel sad for about 10 minutes to 30 minutes. As the days wears on most symptoms become barely noticeable. I am most aware of my symptoms when I am by myself and they seem more exaggerated. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 After the fog leaves I feel normal except for the physical symptoms and dips in mood. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 It has taken me 10 weeks at 30 mg to get this far. I am having times where I feel happy and okay and believe that I will be okay again. I am still also having times where I am overwhelmed and have a little cry or still frightened by some symptoms or mood dips and the awfulness of what I felt like before. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Now I refer to my days as manageable or hard and I have had 3 hard days and 11 manageable of the past two weeks. I still think about my symptoms and what happened to me way too much but I am hopeful that as I continue to heal I will feel secure enough and comfortable enough to let a lot of this go. Then one day down the road I will be able to do my turtle taper. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 I haven't had anxiety for five or six days or the 'dreads' for several days either. And I do notice that when I have a very intense symptom one day the next time it returns much milder. It has been like that for several symptoms now. I have only had that one bad day above in 17 days now. And even that was milder. One of the fears I still get is that I will not get any better than I am but I know that's not true because I have thought that before and got better and because history has shown this; that I have been improving steadily the whole time, even though it feels like it's at the rate of molasses in January. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 I remember at the worst not escaping from the fog for days at a time, brrrrr. And now it never lasts past noon or so. Wow. I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted February 26, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 26, 2016 Congrats on getting through work - that's a pretty major accomplishment. I know your progress feels slow, but it is there. You seem really good at noticing your daily symptoms in a detailed way too. I think that's a very helpful thing for those in w/d. 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
AliG Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Rachel. You have such a positive attitude, right now ! You're going so well . Skyler is right . You have worked so hard to get to this . I can hear & feel the optimism you have , now . I hope it keeps up for you . Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Thanks Karen and Ali for your encouragement as usual ❤️ I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
Jlynn Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 For me it seems my symptoms get worse as the day goes on. I notice I am okay in the morning and afternoon but start to feel dizzy and what not in the evening. I am charting my symptoms even more now to see how they go. I am so happy you are feeling better and moving forward! 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Rachel1963 Posted March 11, 2016 Author Share Posted March 11, 2016 Hi JL; Hope you are going very slow! Just an update; My symptoms are becoming manageable now; they are fading away slowly. I still have a bad day maybe once a week but it is so mild it takes me awhile to realise it is a bad day. My fogginess is down to nearly nothing, some days 10 minutes or nothing, I have odd little mood dips for a couple of minutes here and there and I feel a bit lonely which could be because my husband is not here. In the way of physical symptoms I get the odd little weak feeling and the odd little vague pinch feeling here and there on my legs. Every day I get a little better. I haven't been here as much because I haven't needed to be and I think it's better if I try not to focus on what happened to me as much. I will be checking in with updates here and there until I am ready to taper which will be a long time yet. Just wanted to say hello and hope everyone is doing well I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade. I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too. Link to comment
AliG Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 Rachel . This is great news ! You are recovering slowly, but still need to taper eventually. However, there is no hurry in this process, obviously . Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
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