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Rachel1963: Up and down symptoms


Rachel1963

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Rachel, how are you doing? I was hoping someone else would be able to offer some thoughts on the drug switch you just did.

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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I won't be taking the new drug anymore. Thank you for answering me. I didn't know not to start another thread. I will go back to my thread.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Thank you Rachel. I'm not taking the new drug anymore. I wonder if I should just go through withdrawal from Mortazapine or go back on it. I see the psychiatrist today. It was my regular doctor who switched the drugs. People aren't answering because I haven't listened and I am just getting myself in more trouble in a desperate search for relief. I'm becoming a burden to everyone.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Hi Rachel,

 

I am tapering Mirtazapine and have been doing so for the past year.  I was only on the medication 10months and was up to 41.25.  I am now down to 12mg.  I also am tapering Lamictal at the same time.

 

Mirtazapine is a very,very strong antidepressant.  My current psychiatrist has confirmed that for me (he did not prescribe it). 

 

The wd at times has made me very scared and anxious.  For me, whenever I make a cut, the wd hits me a week or 2 weeks later.  I have sobbed uncontrolably, had nausea, hot flashes and headaches.  I too am menopausal so it's hard for me to know what hot flashes are related to what.  

 

From reading your thread, your taper was very fast because you didn't know otherwise.

 

I don't have as much experience about when to reinstate but was a period in my wd where I had to go up a bit because I went too fast. 

 

From what I have read, even after you reinstate, it will take some time to stabilize.  This is the time to keep reminding yourself that it's all wd related (I have to be reminded of it all the time because i lose perspective when I am not feeling well).  The only way I keep myself from worrying that I am returning to a depressed stated is to remember that when I was depressed, I did not have hot flashes, headaches or nausea. 

 

I'm hoping some others on the site can advise you regarding how much to reinstate but it sounds like it may be helpful.

 

Hang in there. 

 

Hibari

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I have a plan starting in my mind. To go back on the mirtazapine at some dose or other, I'm not sure, then have good days and bad days and just wait. I can go on employment insurance at only 55 percent of my wages for 15 weeks and then long term disability at full wages. I suspect the doctor might put me in the hospital today though, I'm not sure.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Thank you Hibari. I appreciate your help and concern.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rachel , reading back through your posts , you noted a big improvement when you updosed

the mirtazapine from 30mg to 45mg on 28 December. It's shame your regular doctor had the bright idea

to try and change you after that at a time when you desperately needed stability.

 

I think your plan to reinstate mirtazapine is wise because you know it can provide some relief.

Sometimes it can take a few tries of different things before we decide on a plan. It's a complex

process that you're working through. Try not to be hard on yourself.

 

Given that it's been only a week , you might try 15mg for 4-7 days , then updose to 30mg if you need to.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Thank you Fresh...I'm going to start that tonight.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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And my psychiatrist agreed today and was irked at me.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Don't worry about him , you got poor advice from the other doc.

You can educate him/her a bit when you're feeling better. Tell them it takes 4 days to get to a steady-state in your blood-stream.

 

:)

 

.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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I took the mirtazapine last night and slept fine.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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I can still feel a bit of the other medicine that was burning my skin and freaking me out but it's going away, phew!

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Glad that you slept and that your symptoms are easing.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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When I went to the psychiatrist's office he gave me a scrip for Wellbutrin. I tried that for five days and then got the awful side effects again. The thing is I'm afraid to just take my original medication by itself in case I'm one of the ones that reinstatement doesn't work for. I know my symptoms were getting a bit less and I only gave it five weeks before I hit the panic button, but how would I know that it would have worked for me? I seem to need a lot of reassurance that it will work because the bad days were just so bad. Can anyone tell me their experience of reinstatement?

 

Also, if I want to make a comment on Rachelina's post how do I find that?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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I have made arrangements to be off work for awhile.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Rachel.   Regarding reinstatement.   It needs time and patience.  :)   

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Thank you Ali; I'm going to pin that up everywhere around my house, and the ones from Karen and others. I read some threads about reinstatement and along with some positives there were some very scary negatives too.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Rachel . Good idea !  You will be fine if you take it slow and try not to panic. Stability is the key factor here. Just keep reading this :

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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It sounds like you have a good plan and are getting back on track! For me it has helped so much just to accept that after a crash like this it can take several months to stabilize. That helps me relax a bit while I wait it out. In the Symptoms and Self-Care forum there is a thread on Claire Weekes, who has written and taught a lot about acceptance, and it really applies to us in withdrawal because anxiety over our symptoms makes those very symptoms worse. She has helped me so much; maybe she can help you.

 

If you want to post on my thread someone bumped it recently so you should be able to find it on the first page now. You can also find people's threads by clicking on "members" at the top, finding them in the members list, and clicking "topics" under their profile. Maybe there is an easier way but that's what I do if I can't find it on the first few pages.

 

Wishing you healing and peace! They will come, it just takes time.

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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Thank you Rachelina...I managed to post on your thread! I am having a window today and a couple of other things happened this week too. Today I have not had a muscle spasm like I have had pretty much every day since my withdrawal symptoms first started. Also, a couple of days ago I woke up for the first time feeling normal since my crash. I woke up and everything was calm and I stretched and enjoyed the feeling and then got out of bed like a normal person! I stopped taking the second extra pill yesterday and was feeling better already. Funny thing though, I think besides the awful side effects I actually was a bit happier. I wonder what caused that. Now I'm scared to plunge into depression again. Now I will be just on the mirt and will see what happens. I feel pretty good about my decision to let the mirt make me stable on its own. I will be watching my symptoms the next couple of days.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Thanks Ali! I read that section

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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So I have now woke up twice this week with no symptoms except a bit shaky. Last night I started taking the fish oil. Then before bed I prayed for a miracle and did my meditation. When I took my mirt I closed my eyes and felt myself nodding off and then bam, I felt the hammer feeling in my brain when I first started taking this and when I updosed and when I updosed during my taper. I woke about 5 am and I knew I would have a good day because I felt normal. I'm taking this as a good sign.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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A few prickles on my ankles too.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Gosh when I think about the symptoms I used to have I really am getting a lot better!

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Rachel - Most of the symptoms you are having are pretty much exactly what I was having when I was going through my terrible withdrawls. I thought exactly like you are now, how am I ever going to get through this? For me reinstating was what I did and it took a while and it worked.It was hell waiting to stabilize and I can sympathise with you!  I don't have a lot of experience with it so I have no great advice on what you should do, I leave that to the moderators who know their stuff! But I did want to say hang in there and I am with you! 

40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding.....

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I have a question for a moderator: now that I made the mistake of taking the other pills for a week and am not taking them anymore, and stayed on my own pill, is it still possible for me to stabilise?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Or have I screwed myself up completely?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Rachel. You tend to jump to conclusions. Try and stay calm . Keep track of your symptoms , and then RELAX  !!   You are doing fine.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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You're right Ali...especially in the mornings when I'm shaky and scared and overwhelmed. Thank you for being patient with me!

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Hi Rachel.

So I have now woke up twice this week with no symptoms except a bit shaky. Last night I started taking the fish oil. Then before bed I prayed for a miracle and did my meditation. When I took my mirt I closed my eyes and felt myself nodding off and then bam, I felt the hammer feeling in my brain when I first started taking this and when I updosed and when I updosed during my taper. I woke about 5 am and I knew I would have a good day because I felt normal. I'm taking this as a good sign.

You are doing very well .  Just keep it up . Don't question.

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
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Rachel, it's always possible to stabilise.  It takes time, but it will happen.  Think of how nature is always returning itself to it's natural state.  We prune trees and try to get their branches heading out horizontally, but each year they send more shoots straight up.  We remove vegetation from the land, yet bit by bit it creeps back in, returning to how it was. 

 

Our brains are the same - always heading back to how they should be. 

 

Your job is to soothe yourself, and provide a good environment around you while the healing is happening.

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Karen that's just what I needed to hear.  I let a view things on here disturb me; I read one story where the person never stabilised and another where the person went into withdrawal while on the same medication as mine and of course that's what stuck.  On the other hand I have now read a lot of stories where it takes quite awhile for someone to stabilise; a month to 3 months.  It has been six weeks for me so not that long considering I put two extra pills into the mix for 8 days.

 

I think the fish oil is causing me problems.  I was pretty hyper today and it has been two days since starting it.  It may still be the other pills but maybe I will just not take it just in case.  

 

I love your analogy about nature.  My husband said the same thing; that my brain is trying hard to get itself back to normal and I have to be patient.  I asked my doctor today why when I went up on my benzo taper it worked within a few days and he said this drug is different; it has to make changes again and it takes time; he said I will likely be feeling better in a month; whether it be a lot or a little; he said that as long as I am better than I was, I will be getting there; just like the people here have told me.  He is my family doctor, not the nurse practitioner who tried me on the other med or the psychiatrist who tried me on the other med.  He did suggest going up a little higher as it might make things move along a bit faster but he did agree and so did the nurse pract. that I have tried so many things that stability is the way now.  I was quite impressed when he said let's just keep the same drug and wait.  I go back and see him in a month.

 

I went by work and my boss helped me with my sick leave papers and then to the bank to make sure I have some extra money for rent for a few months.  I'm very scared about money because my husband is overseas right now and is barely making enough for himself.  When he comes back to Canada though he can get a much better job but that won't be for a couple of months.

 

The doctor has put me off work for a month and go from there.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Symptoms week of January 13, 2016

Symptoms; woke up early with alarm going off; had to hop out of bed to get going as I had to take my car to get fixed.  Felt very wobbly/shaky for a few minutes and then settled.

Had three times of feeling depressed and then they lifted, some prickles around my legs for a few minutes, still obsessing most of day, also foggy off and on.  Cried a couple of times, once on purpose to help my anxiety settle when I was in the car by myself.  No thoughts of suicide.  Able to focus a little bit here and there.

By about 8 pm i was feeling 'normal' and went to my group and didn't spend the whole time crying.  When I got home I watched some shows on tv that held my interest and even finished a little teddy bear I was working on.

 

January 14, 2016

Symptoms; awake at 5:30 am, tossed and turned, not wanting to get out of bed.  Had a tingly feeling up the side of my head but mild.

Had yucky negative feelings upon awakening; felt shaky

Felt ramped up but was able to focus a bit better; got my Christmas tree down, got a shower and makeup on, vacuumed the carpet.

Went to doctor; was weepy there telling him about my story.  Drove an hour to get there.

Had a few pin prick sensations around my knees.

Was able to talk to boss and bank and tell them what's going on; they both suspect it's depression after going off my meds which I didn't bother to correct;

Was weepy off and on but didn't want to die but still obsessing most of day.

Actually became interested in going to a quilt group tonight.  I'm going to make myself go even though I don't really care if I do or not but it's better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself.  

 

Improvements noticed this week so far; a bit more concentration, not suicidal, physical symptoms except for foggy brain seem to be getting less.

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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Jan. 13 - felt normal at 8 pm

Jan. 14 - felt normal at 7 pm (quilt group is next week, so much for cog fog)

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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January 15, 2016

Woke up feeling normal again!  Could hardly wake up, feeling exhausted.

Last night when I felt normal at 7 pm I ran out of the house and went grocery shopping and bought a cottage roll and made Newfie dinner and put it in little containers so I would have lots of food for when I don't feel so well.  Then I cut out and sewed a little teddy bear body to work on.  That's my little part-time business.  That's probably why I'm exhausted!

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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So, I'm starting to feel a bit better this week, the depression is lifting and I'm having windows of normalcy in the evenings and the days are not as awful and my concentration is getting better. Not a whole lot, but getting there. I've pretty much been at 30 mg for just over six weeks. Which was my original dose. So my doctor asks me yesterday to temporarily go to 45 to speed the healing along. I spoke to my husband, my mom and my friend, because I'm having a hard time making a decision and I still feel pretty awful and they have said leave it where it is. But they don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. So I'm asking here if that will actually speed things up or if that will make it worse. I've read lots of things about keeping a stable dose and steady, but then I've read where people have had to go up a higher dose to get stable. Could I have some advice please?

I was on Mirtazapine 30 mg for 2.5 years because of severe debilitating menopause related depression and physical symptoms. I tapered down to zero in 2.5 months. Five weeks off on November 10, I started having severe withdrawal symptoms. Took small reinstatement and continued updosing until 30 mg Nov. 30, 2015 as nothing seemed to be getting better and I was impatient. Made a desperate mistake and tried two other ssri's for eight days, bad side effects and stopped. Went back to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and nothing else as of January 14, 2016. Slowly started getting better. After two months symptoms became manageable and continue to slowly fade.

I also take 1.25 mg Premarin/Climara patch for menopause symptoms and have to wean off that too.

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