Jump to content

If you find useful information here, your gift would help keep this site going. Our staff is entirely volunteer.

Photo

PatriciaVP: #TweetingMyRecovery 140 Characters is all I got

Lexapro escitalopram Adderall amphetamine Depakote

  • Please log in to reply
302 replies to this topic

#217 Lakelander82

Lakelander82

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 153 posts
  • LocationNorthern Ireland

Posted 11 January 2017 - 11:57 AM

Well you're the opposite of me, I was put on SSRIs precisely because I had social anxiety and agoraphobia as well as depression. Since my last cut I have noticed all these things return, which makes me think I'm just returning to this state....but then again I'm being told it's just my CNS stabilising...stabilising to what I don't know because it was never stable to begin with, that's why I was put on the drugs.

It sounds like you were doing pretty well on the medications. Can I ask what led you to want to come off of them?

I thought I had better make a concerted effort to come off them otherwise I'd be on them the rest of my life, no other reason than that. A sort of heroic decision to see if I could could cope with life without medication. If I could barely enter a shop without anxiety, then take the medication and move freely in public with no anxiety and then see the same symptoms reoccur upon gradual tapering, what logical conclusion can you draw from that? Does a leopard change it's spots? Do you suddenly lose those utterly debilitating conditions because you tapered gently?

I ask myself continuously if I was doing fine on the medication is there really any point putting yourself through this torture only to arrive back at the same point you were at, which is utterly miserable.
May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.
March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.
23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg
23rd July 2016 40.5 mg of Sertraline
23rd August 36.45 mg of Sertraline
27th September 34.65 mg
24th October 32.90 mg
28th November 31.26 mg
4th January 32mg
25th Feb 31 mg 22nd March 30mg 14th April 29mg

#218 Lakelander82

Lakelander82

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 153 posts
  • LocationNorthern Ireland

Posted 11 January 2017 - 12:07 PM

For two pins I'd reinstate the whole 50mgs and return back to a proper functioning human being and forget about this whole tapering melarkey, because I am throughly miserable at the minute. Sorry for butting in on your thread by the way.
May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.
March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.
23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg
23rd July 2016 40.5 mg of Sertraline
23rd August 36.45 mg of Sertraline
27th September 34.65 mg
24th October 32.90 mg
28th November 31.26 mg
4th January 32mg
25th Feb 31 mg 22nd March 30mg 14th April 29mg

#219 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 11 January 2017 - 12:48 PM

 

 

Well you're the opposite of me, I was put on SSRIs precisely because I had social anxiety and agoraphobia as well as depression. Since my last cut I have noticed all these things return, which makes me think I'm just returning to this state....but then again I'm being told it's just my CNS stabilising...stabilising to what I don't know because it was never stable to begin with, that's why I was put on the drugs.

It sounds like you were doing pretty well on the medications. Can I ask what led you to want to come off of them?

I thought I had better make a concerted effort to come off them otherwise I'd be on them the rest of my life, no other reason than that. A sort of heroic decision to see if I could could cope with life without medication. If I could barely enter a shop without anxiety, then take the medication and move freely in public with no anxiety and then see the same symptoms reoccur upon gradual tapering, what logical conclusion can you draw from that? Does a leopard change it's spots? Do you suddenly lose those utterly debilitating conditions because you tapered gently?

I ask myself continuously if I was doing fine on the medication is there really any point putting yourself through this torture only to arrive back at the same point you were at, which is utterly miserable.

 

 

Feel free to butt in anytime. 

 

My situation is so different from yours. The medication had clearly dumped me in a horrid place. I was at a point where I could no longer live the way I was. Everything had become so empty. Extreme changes to my diet and exercise routines just weren't doing anything for me. When I realized that there was a possibility that the drugs themselves were laying me so low, it was obvious I had no choice but to try to rid myself of them.

 

I realized that my reasons for going on them were minor compared to the debilitating emptiness that had become my life. When I first started the drugs, I was working full time, raising a little girl and had a relatively full social life. Juggling all those things did cause some anxiety and the pressure I put on myself to always be better and do more led to some depression, but at least I was DOING SOMETHING! The drugs made it so that leaving my bed seemed like a huge task. Now that I've reduced them at least I can stay awake most of the day.

 

If I was like you, and I could clearly see how I was better on the drugs than off them, I don't think it would've ever occurred to me to taper. I do know, however from personal experience that people do not age well on them. My mother, for instance, has been on various psychotropic drugs all my life and she ended up in a nursing home at the age of 77. It's not pretty. I have yet to hear of a healthy, active older adult who has been on psychiatric medications for years. That right there may be more than enough reason to come off them.

 

You see I know for sure that any depression, anxiety, etc. that I was experiencing before the drugs were nothing compared to the horrible side effects and withdrawal symptoms they've unleashed on me. I know that once this is over, I can deal with the "original symptoms" just fine on my own thank you very much.

 

If you don't think you can deal with your original symptoms without the drug, there still may be valid reasons for coming off them as I've stated above. You just have to make sure you find alternative ways to deal with theses things. Otherwise life without drugs may not work for you,


PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#220 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 16 January 2017 - 03:19 PM

Still feeling lethargic, unmotivated, cognitively impaired, sick to my stomach and generally blah. Trying to be thankful that I don't have anxiety, akathesia, crying spells and internal vibrations. I've seen too much change in the past year to believe that anything is permanent. So why is it that my brain is constantly trying to convince me that it is?


PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#221 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 16 January 2017 - 03:24 PM

Still feeling lethargic, unmotivated, cognitively impaired, sick to my stomach and generally blah. Trying to be thankful that I don't have anxiety, akathesia, crying spells and internal vibrations. I've seen too much change in the past year to believe that anything is permanent. So why is it that my brain is constantly trying to convince me that it is?


Hi PatriciaVP:

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time.

Did you do another taper? I didn't read everything, sorry.

I hope you feel better soon. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#222 Blondiee1915

Blondiee1915

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 267 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 16 January 2017 - 03:40 PM

I am sorry Patricia you are not feeling well . Hoping you will feel better soon . Hang in there

Lexapro 20 mg since 2007 until 2013 with various attempts to stop.  Most lasted 3 months, was forced to reinstate due to severe symptoms 

During 2013 found a new dr and started trying other medications:  Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil (each med about 2-4 months).  

MOI Nardil (about 1 year 2014-2015) which did help with anxiety, but caused ALOT of weight and had a food reaction that sent me to ER.  

Lexapro 10 mg 2015 -2016, few months 15 mg

Vibryiid 05/16-06/16 10-15 mg 

Started to withdraw from Vibryiid around mid June with last dose in early July 16.  Felt pretty good for the whole summer. Some anxiety, dizziness, short fuse, some weakness but okay overall. Comes October - dizziness, spinning, off balance feeling, FATIGUE, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, insomnia, DP/DR

Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro.  Some relief, sleep better, severe DP/DR decreased.  Still very anxious, exhausted, dizzy. 

Switched 12/26/16 Luvox 50 mg (25 mg am and 25 mg pm).  Dizziness, exhaustion, anxiety, sleeping ALOT 

1/13/17 switched to one dose of Luvox 50 mg before bed.  EXHAUSTED, sleeping ALOT, dizzy, weakness, off balance, anxiety 

1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg before bed

 

Supplements: iron, fish oil, vitamin D, methyl folate


#223 Flowers

Flowers

    Gold star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,089 posts
  • LocationGranada, Spain

Posted 17 January 2017 - 12:22 PM

Hope things improve for you soon.

 

All we can do is take one day at a time......... tomorrow might just be a better one.

 

Flowers xxx


15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM
MAY 2014   Increased to 40mgs
SEPT-NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10mgs as per Dr's instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations
 Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.
DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes, limbs, muscle pain, fluct. temp,weakness,depression,anxiety,nausea,giddy,
Walking like I am drunk.
DEC 2014 Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.
DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.
DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. Haven't taken any BROMAZEPAM for 2 weeks +.
APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.
JAN 2016 CIT:Started taper. Reducing by 5%. 28.5mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs. FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit.

#224 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 18 January 2017 - 04:40 PM

Anxiety, agitation, akathesia and some crying returned this morning. Haven't tapered since the end of November. Felt like I had a cold coming on. That might have something to do with it. My husband's home sick from work this week too. That doesn't help either. I can't seem to handle any kind of schedule change. I just feel so frustrated with myself.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#225 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 19 January 2017 - 06:14 AM

Anxiety, agitation, akathesia and some crying returned this morning. Haven't tapered since the end of November. Felt like I had a cold coming on. That might have something to do with it. My husband's home sick from work this week too. That doesn't help either. I can't seem to handle any kind of schedule change. I just feel so frustrated with myself.


How!

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

I hope you feel better soon. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#226 doggiemama

doggiemama

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 103 posts
  • LocationSouth Africa

Posted 19 January 2017 - 08:22 AM

Oh shame I can feel your pain because I'm there at the mo . I see you also have problems eating , I've been this way for 2years and 5 months after C/T I've never been overweight and now I've lost so much weight that I feel sick looking at my self in the mirror. In these 2 odd years I've lost nearly 20kg

#227 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 19 January 2017 - 09:54 AM

Anxiety, agitation, akathesia and some crying returned this morning. Haven't tapered since the end of November. Felt like I had a cold coming on. That might have something to do with it. My husband's home sick from work this week too. That doesn't help either. I can't seem to handle any kind of schedule change. I just feel so frustrated with myself.


How!
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
I hope you feel better soon. :)
Take care,
Frogie xx

I meant Wow! But I bet I made you smile :)

Take care,
Frogie
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#228 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 24 January 2017 - 04:32 PM

I feel just awful. Akathesia, anxiety, fatigue, lethargy have plagued me all day. I went to see close friends this weekend, and their schedule is very different than what I'm used to. Up most of the night and quiet during the day. I actually felt much better while I was there, but I think I'm crashing now. I spilled a green smoothie, and got so upset, I couldn't calm down. Ended up having to cancel my dentist appointment because I didn't dare leave the house at that point.

Funny thing is I did the same thing this weekend at my friend's house, cleaned it up perfectly calmly and went on having fun without a second thought. Why such a dramatic difference. I wish I could figure it out so I could recreate that calm me.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#229 Blondiee1915

Blondiee1915

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 267 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 24 January 2017 - 05:44 PM

Hi Patricia,

Sorry you are not having a good day . Maybe your body is recovering after the weekend ? Try not to get upset and see how you feel in few days .

Lexapro 20 mg since 2007 until 2013 with various attempts to stop.  Most lasted 3 months, was forced to reinstate due to severe symptoms 

During 2013 found a new dr and started trying other medications:  Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil (each med about 2-4 months).  

MOI Nardil (about 1 year 2014-2015) which did help with anxiety, but caused ALOT of weight and had a food reaction that sent me to ER.  

Lexapro 10 mg 2015 -2016, few months 15 mg

Vibryiid 05/16-06/16 10-15 mg 

Started to withdraw from Vibryiid around mid June with last dose in early July 16.  Felt pretty good for the whole summer. Some anxiety, dizziness, short fuse, some weakness but okay overall. Comes October - dizziness, spinning, off balance feeling, FATIGUE, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, insomnia, DP/DR

Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro.  Some relief, sleep better, severe DP/DR decreased.  Still very anxious, exhausted, dizzy. 

Switched 12/26/16 Luvox 50 mg (25 mg am and 25 mg pm).  Dizziness, exhaustion, anxiety, sleeping ALOT 

1/13/17 switched to one dose of Luvox 50 mg before bed.  EXHAUSTED, sleeping ALOT, dizzy, weakness, off balance, anxiety 

1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg before bed

 

Supplements: iron, fish oil, vitamin D, methyl folate


#230 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 25 January 2017 - 06:16 AM

I'm sure you're right, Blondie. Just have to be patient and give it plenty of time.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#231 AliG

AliG

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 3,382 posts
  • LocationAustralia

Posted 25 January 2017 - 06:38 AM

Pat. I'm healing in a big way and yet I still empathize and understand the symptoms. All I can say is just keep going through it . Eventually, it subsides. 

 

Yes. It is hard to understand and assimilate but you will get there.  :)


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#232 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 25 January 2017 - 11:25 AM

Thanks, AliG! The encouragement is very much appreciated. I know that healing will happen in time. My brain is assimilating to a new way of functioning without the drugs.

I have been consciously trying not to spend too much time looking forward to the time when withdrawal comes to an end, and I am symptom free. I've been trying to be in the moment, sitting and observing the pain. Walking through it with awareness. I can't get past the feeling that this is an important time in my life. One that must be paid attention to. A priceless gem dwells in the muck that is withdrawal. It's hard to not sit here and pine away for the day all will be well, but I do believe that by doing so, I'm missing something vital. Be darned if I know what that is, of course.

This is so much easier said than done as evidenced by yesterday's post. I suppose like so many other things it requires practice.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#233 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 26 January 2017 - 10:33 AM

Today I am very depressed. Aside from exercise class this morning, I've had no gumption to leave my couch. I was awake most of the night, and I have a bad cold so I am sure that is making things worse.

I see this as progress, however. Gone is the agitation, anxiety, akathesia, racing and ruminating thoughts. Perhaps this is a new faze of healing. I believe it is and I am thankful for it.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#234 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 26 January 2017 - 10:38 AM

Today I am very depressed. Aside from exercise class this morning, I've had no gumption to leave my couch. I was awake most of the night, and I have a bad cold so I am sure that is making things worse.
I see this as progress, however. Gone is the agitation, anxiety, akathesia, racing and ruminating thoughts. Perhaps this is a new faze of healing. I believe it is and I am thankful for it.


Hi PatriciaVP:

At least you went to exercise class. I haven't even taken a shower yet today.

I did pay some bills. And now I sit again.

Keep your chin up. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#235 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 26 January 2017 - 11:12 AM

Hey Frogie,

Good job with the bills. My husband does all that. I just can't deal with all the figuring. I actually haven't showered yet either, and I sweat big time this morning. Eeww!

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#236 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 26 January 2017 - 11:19 AM

Hey Frogie,
Good job with the bills. My husband does all that. I just can't deal with all the figuring. I actually haven't showered yet either, and I sweat big time this morning. Eeww!


Hi PatriciaVP:

I take care of my uncles bills. Thank goodness he only has 4 a month.

My fiancé takes care of ours.

Oh well about the shower, you feel better first. :)

(((HUGS)))

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#237 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 01 February 2017 - 09:59 AM

Strangest thing just happened. I was behind another car at a stop sign and they were just sitting there for the longest time with no one coming so I honked. Other driver gave me the finger and started to back up on me. To avoid confrontation, I swerved around and left.

Normally I would obsess and ruminate for the rest of the day after something like that. Couldn't hold a conversation about anything else. Blood pressure through the roof. Might even end up in tears. Yet here I am now retelling the story perfectly calm without any strong emotion. I have not been able to handle anything this well in years. Since long before I began the taper.

All that day long obsessive thinking an ruminating set off by the most minor slight has been because of these damn drugs. It was never me! I'm not sure whether to be elated or pissed. Perhaps I'm pisselated?

Doing much better lately in general. I've actually been alert and relaxed at the same time. Didn't even know that was possible. Have had a cold over the past week, and my diet has consisted mostly of bone broth and green smoothies. I'm sure that has helped. If this keeps up, I may be looking at another taper in a couple of weeks. Haven't tapered in over 2 months.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#238 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 01 February 2017 - 11:32 AM

Strangest thing just happened. I was behind another car at a stop sign and they were just sitting there for the longest time with no one coming so I honked. Other driver gave me the finger and started to back up on me. To avoid confrontation, I swerved around and left.
Normally I would obsess and ruminate for the rest of the day after something like that. Couldn't hold a conversation about anything else. Blood pressure through the roof. Might even end up in tears. Yet here I am now retelling the story perfectly calm without any strong emotion. I have not been able to handle anything this well in years. Since long before I began the taper.
All that day long obsessive thinking an ruminating set off by the most minor slight has been because of these damn drugs. It was never me! I'm not sure whether to be elated or pissed. Perhaps I'm pisselated?
Doing much better lately in general. I've actually been alert and relaxed at the same time. Didn't even know that was possible. Have had a cold over the past week, and my diet has consisted mostly of bone broth and green smoothies. I'm sure that has helped. If this keeps up, I may be looking at another taper in a couple of weeks. Haven't tapered in over 2 months.


PatriciaVP:

That's awesome that you kept your cool. :)

Keep it going...

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#239 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 02 February 2017 - 10:49 AM

THE PSYCHOTIC PDOC: The Saga Continues......

 

Some of you may recall that I was getting my medication from a psychiatric nurse practitioner (Steve Arvin from Concord, NH) who has...well, let's just say some issues. Once I successfully got off the Depakote that he insisted I needed (you guessed it) "Like a diabetic needs insulin", he tried to force me off the Lexapro by refusing to prescribe enough for a reasonable taper.

 

So... I went to my PCP. She was willing to give me a 30 day supply, but didn't want to give me any more until she got my records from his office. Mind you, I had submitted a records release form to Mr. Arvin three weeks prior so she should have already had them. She was going to talk to him and get back in touch with me to set up an appointment. 

 

Six weeks go by. I had an extra bottle of the liquid Lex tucked away so I didn't run out. Left a message with my PCP for an update. No return call. Finally gave up and called for a refill, and a nurse from her office just called me back today.

 

Apparently Mr. Arvin is refusing to send them my records because he thinks I should continue the taper with him. HE WASN'T EVEN TAPERING ME! HE WAS FORCING ME OFF! WTF! I'm pretty sure that refusing to release my medical records and forcing me to see him for care is illegal even if he did agree to a safe taper which he clearly is not.

 

I just made an appointment to see him Feb. 15. Hopefully, he'll agree to continue the liquid. I'm going to need it for another year, at least. It's going to be all I can do to keep from telling the SOB where he can shove his script pad. In the meantime, I'm going to file a complaint with the board of medicine since he is clearly violating my rights.

 

I know I should find another pdoc, but I don't even know where to look. I guess anyone would be better than this a**hiole. 

 

Thanks for listening to my rant. Any ideas would be appreciated.


PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#240 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 02 February 2017 - 11:28 AM

THE PSYCHOTIC PDOC: The Saga Continues......
 
Some of you may recall that I was getting my medication from a psychiatric nurse practitioner (Steve Arvin from Concord, NH) who has...well, let's just say some issues. Once I successfully got off the Depakote that he insisted I needed (you guessed it) "Like a diabetic needs insulin", he tried to force me off the Lexapro by refusing to prescribe enough for a reasonable taper.
 
So... I went to my PCP. She was willing to give me a 30 day supply, but didn't want to give me any more until she got my records from his office. Mind you, I had submitted a records release form to Mr. Arvin three weeks prior so she should have already had them. She was going to talk to him and get back in touch with me to set up an appointment. 
 
Six weeks go by. I had an extra bottle of the liquid Lex tucked away so I didn't run out. Left a message with my PCP for an update. No return call. Finally gave up and called for a refill, and a nurse from her office just called me back today.
 
Apparently Mr. Arvin is refusing to send them my records because he thinks I should continue the taper with him. HE WASN'T EVEN TAPERING ME! HE WAS FORCING ME OFF! WTF! I'm pretty sure that refusing to release my medical records and forcing me to see him for care is illegal even if he did agree to a safe taper which he clearly is not.
 
I just made an appointment to see him Feb. 15. Hopefully, he'll agree to continue the liquid. I'm going to need it for another year, at least. It's going to be all I can do to keep from telling the SOB where he can shove his script pad. In the meantime, I'm going to file a complaint with the board of medicine since he is clearly violating my rights.
 
I know I should find another pdoc, but I don't even know where to look. I guess anyone would be better than this a**hiole. 
 
Thanks for listening to my rant. Any ideas would be appreciated.


Hi PatriciaVP:

That's too bad some Drs have to be like that.

It is illegal what he is doing, he should know that. I had that problem with Kaiser.

File a complaint, maybe he'll get the hint that you aren't messing around.

Keep us up to date on what's going on.

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#241 scallywag

scallywag

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 3,989 posts
  • LocationOntario, Canada

Posted 02 February 2017 - 04:50 PM

What's the legislation is in NH related to personal medical information? A stern letter written by you threatening enforcement, reporting to the state's nursing regulatory/licensing body, and/or legal action might light a fire under his arrogance. Even better if you know a lawyer you can add as a cc to the letter.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, exact doses and dates in this post;
2017: 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22; 5.4 mg (50) Mar. 15; 5.1 mg (47) Mar. 25; 4.9 mg (45) Apr. 5;
Current dose: 4.5 mg (42) 2017-Apr-14
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#242 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 02 February 2017 - 05:26 PM

That's a great idea, Scallywag. I was already going to send him a letter, but cc-ing the lawyer is something I didn't think of. I actually know the director of our state's Disabilities Rights Center. Think I will cc him.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#243 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 06 February 2017 - 09:30 AM

A wave has enveloped me again. It's as if someone snuck up behind me and tossed a large, heavy, wet blanket over me and it's dragging me to the ground. I can't stand, and I can hardly breath.

Started my period Friday. Sure that has something to do with it. Now I have bad cramps, but I just can't rest. Back to feeling restless yet unable to move at the same time.

I was planning on writing that letter to my pdoc today, but I just can't organize myself enough to even start. When I do I plan to post the text here. Hopefully tomorrow.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#244 Frogie

Frogie

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 892 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 06 February 2017 - 12:08 PM

A wave has enveloped me again. It's as if someone snuck up behind me and tossed a large, heavy, wet blanket over me and it's dragging me to the ground. I can't stand, and I can hardly breath.
Started my period Friday. Sure that has something to do with it. Now I have bad cramps, but I just can't rest. Back to feeling restless yet unable to move at the same time.
I was planning on writing that letter to my pdoc today, but I just can't organize myself enough to even start. When I do I plan to post the text here. Hopefully tomorrow.


Hi PatriciaVP:

Sorry you're not feeling well.

Sending good thoughts your way. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#245 brassmonkey

brassmonkey

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,432 posts
  • LocationCalifornia

Posted 06 February 2017 - 06:22 PM

((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2016

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#246 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 07 February 2017 - 07:27 AM

All the work I did during my last wave is gone. Everything I did to increase acceptance, embrace the experience and find the good has now abandoned me. It's as if the window erased my memory.

I wasn't expecting the window. It was so nice, but now that it's over I don't know how to get back to the state of peace and acceptance I had somehow achieved at the end of my last wave. I guess I'll just have to work on it again. Maybe I'll get it right eventually.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#247 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 07 February 2017 - 07:28 AM

Thanks Frogie and Brassmonkey. It's so nice to have such caring listeners here.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#248 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 07 February 2017 - 11:13 AM

I just finished writing the letter to my pdoc, and am posting the text here. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

 

Mr. Steven Arvin ARNP

:

It has come to my attention that you are refusing to send my records from your office to my primary care provider as I had requested this past November and are insisting that I continue to taper off escitalopram (generic Lexapro) under your supervision. As you can imagine this came as a surprise to me given your previous refusal to see me or to write me a script at my current dose of 7.5 mgs.

 

I have made an appointment to see you at your office on February 15. If we are to continue to work together, I must insist on following the enclosed taper schedule of no more than 10% of my current dose per month. I am also including information on why this taper schedule is important and recommended by most psychiatrists with experience tapering patients off psychoactive medication.

 

If you do not feel comfortable tapering me at this rate, please have a copy of all my records from your office ready for me at this appointment. I will also need a 30-day prescription from you for the escitalopram at 7.5 mgs/day to avoid withdrawal since your actions have caused me to run low.

 

Failure to comply with these requests will force me to file a complaint with the New Hampshire Board of Medicine/Nursing.

 

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.


PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#249 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 08 February 2017 - 07:56 AM

Hard to believe a little over a week ago I was feeling so much better that I was contemplating another taper in the near future. How quickly things change. Glad I wrote it down or I wouldn't have remembered. Anxiety and akathesia have come back to plague me. At least I have proof that I did feel better so I can hang on to the thought that it will return.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#250 Katch

Katch

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 49 posts
  • LocationLondon, UK

Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:25 AM

sending huge hug Patricia. I'm struggling too  - and really don't remember last good day. 

xx


May 2012 – 10mg Lexapro, 10mg Olanzapine, 75 mg Venlafaxine

April 2015 – 20mg Lexapro, 200 mg Lithium, 75 Setraline

May 2015 started weaning off - medication free at beginning of August 2015.

Beginning of September 2015 reinstated to 20 mg of Lexapro after miscarriage. 

October – December 2015 – from 20 to 10 mg of Lexapro – no problems.

25th December 2015 – from 10 to 5 mg Lexapro – some withdrawal – mainly physical, did not even realised it was withdrawal.

22nd March 2016 – stopped Lexapro completely and withdrawal hit after few days – mainly physical symptoms – fatigue, muscle and joint aches, digestive issues, feeling faint, weak and dizzy. Very mild anxiety. 

Mid April 2016 – reinstated 2.5 mg of Lexapro

Mid July 2016 - switched to liquid Lexapro and increased the dose to 3mg after bad anxiety started.

January 2017 - hospitalised after period triggered paralysing anxiety. Upped the dose to 10 mg. 

My hormones seem to be completely off.


#251 Flowers

Flowers

    Gold star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,089 posts
  • LocationGranada, Spain

Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:47 AM

Hi Patricia

Sorry you are in a wave. Maybe it was the stress of having to deal with your pdoc that has triggered this.

It is just awful that the people that are supposed to be looking after our well being can do this to us.

I hope you get a good resolution and that things settle down.

Hugs from Flowers xxx
15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM
MAY 2014   Increased to 40mgs
SEPT-NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10mgs as per Dr's instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations
 Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.
DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes, limbs, muscle pain, fluct. temp,weakness,depression,anxiety,nausea,giddy,
Walking like I am drunk.
DEC 2014 Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.
DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.
DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. Haven't taken any BROMAZEPAM for 2 weeks +.
APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.
JAN 2016 CIT:Started taper. Reducing by 5%. 28.5mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs. FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit.

#252 PatriciaVP

PatriciaVP

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 314 posts
  • LocationNew Hampshire

Posted 08 February 2017 - 03:15 PM

Hi Katch - {{{Hugs}}} right back. Sorry to hear you're not doing well, either. At least we know we are not alone.

Flowers - thanks so much for stopping by. Your support means so much.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Lexapro, escitalopram, Adderall, amphetamine, Depakote