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PatriciaVP: #TweetingMyRecovery 140 Characters is all I got

Lexapro escitalopram Adderall amphetamine Depakote

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#217 Lakelander82

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 11:57 AM

Well you're the opposite of me, I was put on SSRIs precisely because I had social anxiety and agoraphobia as well as depression. Since my last cut I have noticed all these things return, which makes me think I'm just returning to this state....but then again I'm being told it's just my CNS stabilising...stabilising to what I don't know because it was never stable to begin with, that's why I was put on the drugs.

It sounds like you were doing pretty well on the medications. Can I ask what led you to want to come off of them?

I thought I had better make a concerted effort to come off them otherwise I'd be on them the rest of my life, no other reason than that. A sort of heroic decision to see if I could could cope with life without medication. If I could barely enter a shop without anxiety, then take the medication and move freely in public with no anxiety and then see the same symptoms reoccur upon gradual tapering, what logical conclusion can you draw from that? Does a leopard change it's spots? Do you suddenly lose those utterly debilitating conditions because you tapered gently?

I ask myself continuously if I was doing fine on the medication is there really any point putting yourself through this torture only to arrive back at the same point you were at, which is utterly miserable.
May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.
March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.
23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg
23rd July 2016 40.5 mg of Sertraline
23rd August 36.45 mg of Sertraline
27th September 34.65 mg
24th October 32.90 mg
28th November 31.26 mg
4th January 32mg

#218 Lakelander82

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 12:07 PM

For two pins I'd reinstate the whole 50mgs and return back to a proper functioning human being and forget about this whole tapering melarkey, because I am throughly miserable at the minute. Sorry for butting in on your thread by the way.
May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.
March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.
23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg
23rd July 2016 40.5 mg of Sertraline
23rd August 36.45 mg of Sertraline
27th September 34.65 mg
24th October 32.90 mg
28th November 31.26 mg
4th January 32mg

#219 PatriciaVP

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 12:48 PM

 

 

Well you're the opposite of me, I was put on SSRIs precisely because I had social anxiety and agoraphobia as well as depression. Since my last cut I have noticed all these things return, which makes me think I'm just returning to this state....but then again I'm being told it's just my CNS stabilising...stabilising to what I don't know because it was never stable to begin with, that's why I was put on the drugs.

It sounds like you were doing pretty well on the medications. Can I ask what led you to want to come off of them?

I thought I had better make a concerted effort to come off them otherwise I'd be on them the rest of my life, no other reason than that. A sort of heroic decision to see if I could could cope with life without medication. If I could barely enter a shop without anxiety, then take the medication and move freely in public with no anxiety and then see the same symptoms reoccur upon gradual tapering, what logical conclusion can you draw from that? Does a leopard change it's spots? Do you suddenly lose those utterly debilitating conditions because you tapered gently?

I ask myself continuously if I was doing fine on the medication is there really any point putting yourself through this torture only to arrive back at the same point you were at, which is utterly miserable.

 

 

Feel free to butt in anytime. 

 

My situation is so different from yours. The medication had clearly dumped me in a horrid place. I was at a point where I could no longer live the way I was. Everything had become so empty. Extreme changes to my diet and exercise routines just weren't doing anything for me. When I realized that there was a possibility that the drugs themselves were laying me so low, it was obvious I had no choice but to try to rid myself of them.

 

I realized that my reasons for going on them were minor compared to the debilitating emptiness that had become my life. When I first started the drugs, I was working full time, raising a little girl and had a relatively full social life. Juggling all those things did cause some anxiety and the pressure I put on myself to always be better and do more led to some depression, but at least I was DOING SOMETHING! The drugs made it so that leaving my bed seemed like a huge task. Now that I've reduced them at least I can stay awake most of the day.

 

If I was like you, and I could clearly see how I was better on the drugs than off them, I don't think it would've ever occurred to me to taper. I do know, however from personal experience that people do not age well on them. My mother, for instance, has been on various psychotropic drugs all my life and she ended up in a nursing home at the age of 77. It's not pretty. I have yet to hear of a healthy, active older adult who has been on psychiatric medications for years. That right there may be more than enough reason to come off them.

 

You see I know for sure that any depression, anxiety, etc. that I was experiencing before the drugs were nothing compared to the horrible side effects and withdrawal symptoms they've unleashed on me. I know that once this is over, I can deal with the "original symptoms" just fine on my own thank you very much.

 

If you don't think you can deal with your original symptoms without the drug, there still may be valid reasons for coming off them as I've stated above. You just have to make sure you find alternative ways to deal with theses things. Otherwise life without drugs may not work for you,


PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#220 PatriciaVP

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Posted 16 January 2017 - 03:19 PM

Still feeling lethargic, unmotivated, cognitively impaired, sick to my stomach and generally blah. Trying to be thankful that I don't have anxiety, akathesia, crying spells and internal vibrations. I've seen too much change in the past year to believe that anything is permanent. So why is it that my brain is constantly trying to convince me that it is?


PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#221 Frogie

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Posted 16 January 2017 - 03:24 PM

Still feeling lethargic, unmotivated, cognitively impaired, sick to my stomach and generally blah. Trying to be thankful that I don't have anxiety, akathesia, crying spells and internal vibrations. I've seen too much change in the past year to believe that anything is permanent. So why is it that my brain is constantly trying to convince me that it is?


Hi PatriciaVP:

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time.

Did you do another taper? I didn't read everything, sorry.

I hope you feel better soon. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
Previous medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997 - 1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002, switch to Lexapro // Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms // Lamictal, 300 mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015, no symptoms //Valium, 40 mg, 2008-2015, 8-week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms Current medications: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it.Lexapro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5 Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1/1/17 9mg Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Prilosec 40mg; 28- Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.For nausea as needed: Zantac , 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable.Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 400IU Vitamin E, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, Probiotic

#222 Blondiee1915

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Posted 16 January 2017 - 03:40 PM

I am sorry Patricia you are not feeling well . Hoping you will feel better soon . Hang in there

Lexapro (10 mg - 20 mg) 2007 winter - 2007 spring. Summer 2007 stopped

Lexapro (20 mg) 2007 fall - 2008 spring.  Summer 2008 stopped

Lexapro (20 mg) November 2008 -  winter 2011

Started withdrawing spring 2011 July 2011  

Lexapro (20 mg) November 2011 - fall 2012

Winter 2013 I got a new doctor and we started trying new medications: Prozac (low dosage) 4 months, then Effexor which caused panic attacks 4 months, notryptoline (4 months), paxil, nardil for about a year 

Lexapro 10 mg spring 2015 - April 2016

Vibryid May - June 2016, then began to withdraw and stopped completely July 2016 

October 31 2016 reinstated at 2.5 mg lexapro due to extreme exhaustion, off balance feeling, dizzy spinning spells, no emotions, annoyed and irritable, impatient. some panic attacks, anxiety, intense fear, DP/DR, racing thoughts.  11/11/16 increased to 5 mg.  

12/26/16 switched to luvox (25 mg am and 25 mg pm) - drowsiness, fatigue, dizziness, anxiety. 


#223 Flowers

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Posted 17 January 2017 - 12:22 PM

Hope things improve for you soon.

 

All we can do is take one day at a time......... tomorrow might just be a better one.

 

Flowers xxx


15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM
MAY 2014   Increased to 40mgs
SEPT-NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10mgs as per Dr's instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations
 Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.
DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes, limbs, muscle pain, fluct. temp,weakness,depression,anxiety,nausea,giddy,
Walking like I am drunk.
DEC 2014 Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.
DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.
DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. Haven't taken any BROMAZEPAM for 2 weeks +.
APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.

JAN 2016 CIT:Started taper. Reducing by 5%. 28.5mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs


#224 PatriciaVP

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 04:40 PM

Anxiety, agitation, akathesia and some crying returned this morning. Haven't tapered since the end of November. Felt like I had a cold coming on. That might have something to do with it. My husband's home sick from work this week too. That doesn't help either. I can't seem to handle any kind of schedule change. I just feel so frustrated with myself.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory


#225 Frogie

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 06:14 AM

Anxiety, agitation, akathesia and some crying returned this morning. Haven't tapered since the end of November. Felt like I had a cold coming on. That might have something to do with it. My husband's home sick from work this week too. That doesn't help either. I can't seem to handle any kind of schedule change. I just feel so frustrated with myself.


How!

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

I hope you feel better soon. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
Previous medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997 - 1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002, switch to Lexapro // Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms // Lamictal, 300 mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015, no symptoms //Valium, 40 mg, 2008-2015, 8-week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms Current medications: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it.Lexapro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5 Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1/1/17 9mg Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Prilosec 40mg; 28- Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.For nausea as needed: Zantac , 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable.Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 400IU Vitamin E, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, Probiotic

#226 doggiemama

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 08:22 AM

Oh shame I can feel your pain because I'm there at the mo . I see you also have problems eating , I've been this way for 2years and 5 months after C/T I've never been overweight and now I've lost so much weight that I feel sick looking at my self in the mirror. In these 2 odd years I've lost nearly 20kg

#227 Frogie

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 09:54 AM

Anxiety, agitation, akathesia and some crying returned this morning. Haven't tapered since the end of November. Felt like I had a cold coming on. That might have something to do with it. My husband's home sick from work this week too. That doesn't help either. I can't seem to handle any kind of schedule change. I just feel so frustrated with myself.


How!
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
I hope you feel better soon. :)
Take care,
Frogie xx

I meant Wow! But I bet I made you smile :)

Take care,
Frogie
Previous medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997 - 1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002, switch to Lexapro // Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms // Lamictal, 300 mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015, no symptoms //Valium, 40 mg, 2008-2015, 8-week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms Current medications: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it.Lexapro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5 Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1/1/17 9mg Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Prilosec 40mg; 28- Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.For nausea as needed: Zantac , 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable.Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 400IU Vitamin E, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, Probiotic





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