hi all, I am not sure how much info you want or need, but the short version is:
i have been on lexapro for 13yrs. I believe it was prescribed for me just a few weeks after it became available.
I had been on the highest dose of celexa before this.
my dose was quickly raised from 20mgs to 30mgs to 40 mgs, where it stayed for many years.
My insurance balked at the 40mg dose, saying that over 30mgs was not shown to have any additional effect so about 2 yrs ago, my dose was reduced to 30mgs.
I don't even know how many times I have tried to go off this drug. I do not believe it is helping me at all. It seems all I have is the side effecs but no benefit whatsoever. I have had several severe depressions in the past couple of years.
I am now commited to getting off this stuff for good. For a lot of reasons that I'm too tired to go into now.
I am down to taking about 1/8 of a 20mg tablet every couple of days, or whenever the insomnia and/or feelings of rage get to be too much.
I am very lucky, this time I have NOT had any of the brain zaps, nor that feeling of losing my balance, etc.
Primarily I am dealing with severe insomnia that may or may not be from going off the lexapro-
see, I lost my 17 yr old cat on Nov 29th and I have not been able to sleep much at all since. I think it's a really weird grief reaction, but I don't know, maybe it's partly withdrawal too....?
the rages are totally out of character for me. Part of me thinks they are due to extreme fatigue but even when I am not feeling too terribly tired, I will have these "episode" of just terrible anger out of nowhere.
it scares me. I think of doing awful terrible things, violent things. I screamed at my doctor's nurse. for no reason, really, I just felt out of control and that she was not hearing me about how bad things are.
anyway, I did not know a place like this existed, I've been on forums for ppl with mental illness before and they all get totally freaked out when you talk about going off your meds.
I hope I can find some support and help for this and mostly I hope to be able to be OFF of this drug for good!
thanks for listening to my long rambling post, off to look around the forum