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☼ Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right


Happy2Heal

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  • Mentor

Perhaps you could explain to the doc that you are trying to taper off, and need a prescription for only until you see her on 03/07? I hope something works out for you.

 

I don't think that's going to work, unfortunately, as it's going to be obvious that I've not been taking these pills in any kind of consistent manner. To illustrate, I filled this Rx for 12 tablets on Jan 24tha and I have four tablets left.

 

If I was taking them daily, as she prescribed them, I'd have run out of them 2 weeks ago. Drs are not very sympathetic when you don't take meds as "ordered".

 

I am having a hard time understanding your signature, Survivor, did you reinstate an anti depressant and then updose?

when did the seroquel come in?

sorry my brain is mush today, I tried to talk on the phone and could barely form a coherent sentence.

 

I feel like I've had a stroke :/

 

I am starting to think that my best bet at this point is to attempt an updose.

 

I know I tried this back in er, early Nov, but I was having such bad symptoms that the increase in symptoms I thought I felt could have simply been a bad wave.

if I could just get a place where I'm able to sleep fairly well, it doesn't need to be great sleep, just enough to take the edge off, then I could try to stabilize and wait out the 10 mos (or more) before I think about tapering again

 

If I had a good support system, and did not live alone, if I had even a part time job to keep me occupied, or, quite frankly, if I had the money to afford various other forms of alternative meds, massages, rieki, accupuncture, or even the funds for outside entertainment, just things to do to distract myself,

then I would not even be considering updosing.

But I have to face the facts- I am an aging single woman, living 25% below the US federal poverty level, living alone and without friends and family for support, and without the money to even travel by bus more than a few times a week for necessities. I don't have a full and interesting life. I make the most of the life I have, but the bare honest truth is, my life is kinda grim by anyone's standards.

 

It could be much worse, I could be homeless, etc (been there, done that) but it's just not an easy life.

 

 

So, I gotta make some tough decisions. The only way to know  if an updose would work is to try it, I know, but I guess I'd like some input from ppl who have done it, and had it go WELL

 

just to get a sense of the percentages, I guess, at least :/

 

anyone?

 

thanks again for your input Survivor

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Clarification question: Are you currently taking Zyprexa daily? If yes, what dose?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • Mentor

Clarification question: Are you currently taking Zyprexa daily? If yes, what dose?

 

Hi scallywag, no I am not taking it daily. I have taken it very inconsistently at all different doses at different times of the day.

HOWEVER

I just got back from the pharmacy, fortunately I've only used this one for the past 27yrs!! Finally, *something* I've been consistent about!

 

I got some of my records, they need more time to back further into the past, but as soon as I've sorted thru them I can give you a LOT more accurate information going back to 2006

 

I almost cried when I got the zyprexa info- it's exactly what I had thought, my break down or whatever you want to call it HAS TO BE trauma related, because I requested and got the Rx for a handful of 2.5mgs tablets in the middle of Jan, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

In Jan 2010, in Jan 2013 and now Jan 2107

 

it is probably also related to my dropping down my dose of lexapro, but that also follows a pattern that is strongly tied to a major childhood trauma

 

I will be back later with the summary

 

for now, my strong inclination is that I do need to updose, and that I will be able to get off lexapro but that it may take longer and that I may need some serious trauma related work done, either on my own or with a therapist

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Catnapt,

 

Just my experience, I reinstated the trazodone that I rapid tapered, then updosed twice after.  In hindsight, I was in seroquel wd also but did not know it, so I attributed the wd I was having to trazodone only and updosed several times, when all I had to do was reinstate a small dose of seroquel after the initial reinstatement of trazodone.  Complicated.  All water under the bridge now, and I am trying to stabilize.

 

Regarding what you should do, I would let a moderator weigh in as I don't feel qualified to say what to do.  But I do know that you need to make a decision and stick with it.

 

Best of luck.

PAST

Gabapentin:  about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin)

Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin)

Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months).

Seroquel:  June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months 

Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome.

 

CURRENT

Supplements: Vit D, turmeric

Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism

Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg;  10/01/16-  62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months)

                           Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg

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  • Mentor

thank you for taking the time to clarify that Survivor, Yes  I surely understand, with multiple meds it's easy to get confused.

 

I don't do myself any favors by bouncing around, I know this, but my sense of time is terribly distorted, so that's throwing me off quite a bit

For example, what I wrote just yesterday? that "feels" like it happened a good week ago to me.

 

yep I need a mods help on this.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor

Clarification question: Are you currently taking Zyprexa daily? If yes, what dose?

 

 

OK Scallywag, here is the run down of how I took the zyprexa:

1/12  2.5mgs in divided doses

1/13  1.25

1/14  1.25

1/15  1.25

1/16 to 1/21 NO zyprexa, sleep declines during this period

1/22  2.5mgs

1/23 NO ZYPREXA

1/24 1.25 mgs + 2.5mgs

1/25 NO ZYPREXA

1/26 NO ZYPREXA, *tapered lexapro from 0.3 to 0.27

1/27 2.5

1/28 2.5

1/29  2.5

1/30 2.5

1/31 NO ZYPREXA

2/1 NO ZYPREXA

2/2  0.67 (1/4 tablet)

2/3 to 2/8 NO ZYPREXA

2/9  5mgs (2 tablets)

2/10 to 2/14 NO ZYPREXA

2/15  2.5

2/16 to present, NO ZYPREXA

 

 

*regarding LEXAPRO (not zyprexa)

Going back over the print out from the drug store isn't helping a whole lot, as I was filling rx's for a higher dose of lexapro than I was taking, in order to cut down on my co-pays :(

 

so it's not possible to pin point when I tried to taper,  but I did discover that I took NO LEXAPRO for 8 mos in 2008.

I was miserable but did not have symptoms as severe as I do now. :(  I had mostly anxiety.

 

when I went back on, I got rxe's for 40 mgs a day but did not fill them every month, so I know that from 2008 on, I was mostly only taking 20mgs/day

 

I tried to taper off in the winter of 2012/2013 and that is when I needed the "rescue" zyprexa, however I'd needed it just 3 yrs before when I may not have been trying to taper off, I can't figure out from my rx record if I was or not and I do not remember much from that year at all, except that I got my first pet rats :/

not esp helpful as far as meds go, eh?

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for that info catnapt - we're looking over it together.  Can I ask if you are regularly taking the 0.27mg lexapro?

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • Mentor

Thanks for that info catnapt - we're looking over it together.  Can I ask if you are regularly taking the 0.27mg lexapro?

yes I am taking that regularly @ 7:30 am (give or take a half hour)

 I was 4 hrs late on Friday because I forgot in the rush to get a bus

 

I should add, if I continue on as I am now (sleep has been "ok" past few nights) then I will probably hold at 0.27 but I don't know what will happen once the effects of the last zyprexa dose wear off (IF anything)

I was dismayed to notice that  I did NOT sleep better with that most recent dose, and I did NOT feel a whole lot better the following day, I think the feeling good was delayed for a day, so I may be totally wrong about what zyprexa's effect is on  my mood and all that.

 

I promise, I'm going to try extra hard not to change anything.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

 

I was dismayed to notice that  I did NOT sleep better with that most recent dose, and I did NOT feel a whole lot better the following day, I think the feeling good was delayed for a day, so I may be totally wrong about what zyprexa's effect is on  my mood and all that.

 

 

Oy, I can't get any thing right today.

 

the last dose of zyprexa did help me sleep, the most recent one;

it was actually the dble dose that I took on the 9th that did not help me sleep and left me edgy all the next day besides

 

I have no idea what I was thinking when I did that

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Administrator

Catnapt, it seems you are your own best expert when it comes to taking Zyprexa. I don't feel there's anything I can add.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Mentor

Catnapt, it seems you are your own best expert when it comes to taking Zyprexa. I don't feel there's anything I can add.

thanks for weighing in Alto

 

what do you think about up-dosing the lexapro?

that is, IF I am unable to tolerate the symptoms

 

right now I am pulling out ALL of my coping skills and using them non stop. I am also going to see if I can get some PT (I have spinal stenosis and have some hip/back pain from that) If I can get into PT, I should be able to use their heated pool, and I think that will help with PTSD symptoms and dissociation.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Mentor

just read part of the thread on depersonalization & derealization- I am thinking that may be what I experienced when I went to the ER!

in the past I was told I was psychotic but I always knew the answers to the questions about where you are, the date, etc etc - what do they call that? Oriented in all spheres or some such psycho babble lol

 

boy is it scary! I think it's more de personalization, for me. The derealization I had back in Oct and Nov, things looked plastic and very strange.

now it's more of what I've been calling disociation (don't know how to spell that)

 

what is the difference between depersonalization and disociation? are they two different things or do they overlap some?

 

(things to distract myself with as I ride out today's wave, heh)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I think depersonalisation is where you don't feel real and derealisatiom is where the world doesn't feel real. There is quite a lot of overlap.

 

I remember in ct I was confused by flowers. What were they for and why were they poking out the ground like that? Silly really, but I spent hours looking at them and being completely perplexed by them.

2001: 20mg paroxetine
2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's
2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg
2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg;  Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.
2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg; 05Mar-0.9mg; 15Mar-0.8mg; 22Mar-0.7mg; 02Apr-0.6; 09Apr-0.5mg; 16Apr-0.4mg; 23Apr-0.3; 03May-0.2mg; 10May-0.1mg

Finished taper 17 May 2017.

Read my success story

 

I am not a medical professional. The information I provide is not medical advice. If in doubt please consult with a qualified healthcare provider.

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  • Mentor

I think depersonalisation is where you don't feel real and derealisatiom is where the world doesn't feel real. There is quite a lot of overlap.

 

I remember in ct I was confused by flowers. What were they for and why were they poking out the ground like that? Silly really, but I spent hours looking at them and being completely perplexed by them.

 

 

oh wow that must have felt odd.

 

this is from the thread on DP/DR;  this is one of the things I was going thru and still struggle with:

Feeling possessed. People with DPD in some cases report feeling as if an evil entity has taken up residence inside their head, watching them and making negative comments.

 

 

I feel like I am constantly surrounded by a judging presence, that doesn't allow me to do anything without judging if it's ok (the right use of my time, doing it correctly, and fast enough, etc) judging if it's ok for me to eat and how much, judging even what I am thinking about!

it's horrible

I can't seem to shake it.

I know it's coming from my own mind, but it feels like my own mind "is out to get me" in every way possible

 

I don't know what to do for that.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Catnapt,

You were very close, when talking about being oriented in the ER. In the ER and on the Ambulance, we can call it a few different things, we can call it "Alert and Oriented x3" (to person- Who are you?, to Place, Where are you?, and to time- What day/month/year is it? OR Who is the president?). In medical lingo, reading your report, it can be A&O x3, or written as "oriented to all." Other places just say "Patient is Alert & Oriented." Something close to that. Very good for not knowing the "lingo"!! Different hospitals have their own way to say it.

 

Skeeter

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 6.25mg
Current status: September 2018 forced to go down to 10mg of Valium/Diazepam from around 15mg, with the plan to have me totally of in 2 more months. I was not given a chance to give input at tapering at this speed, please go much, much slower. Luckily I found a new doctor, but was thrown off course by my rapid taper, as of 2/19 am down to 6.25mg, and am stable. Will update with dates of taper ASAP.
Read my history here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12819-skeeters-journey/

   
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that a doctor educated in withdrawal is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!

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  • Mentor

thanks for that info Skeeter!

I think the only reason for wanting to know what's happening is so I can figure out the best coping strategies.

 

how are you doing?

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor

ok it's 26 days since reducing my dose of lexapro from 0.3 to 0.27 and 6 days since my last dose of zyprexa

 

I feel like things are leveling off, I'm not sure, it's early yet lol but it seems like the waves are getting smaller and more spread out.

 

the windows are not nearly as clear, and don't even seem like windows, maybe "withdrawal normal"? I don't know, but anything that is not bad, is GOOD hahaha, that's the way I see it.

 

I did have some dry heaves this am, I put that down to the ice cream bar I had :/ I don't normally eat any dairy (nor that much sugar and fat, either!) but was feeling like I needed a "treat'. Hmm, wrong kind of treat.
Dairy causes mucus production, and that leads to post nasal drip and that leads to morning dry heaves for me.

 

lessen learned, next time grab a banana or some walnuts, not an Snickers ice cream bar!!

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor

I did some math, oh my head hurts!
I figured out a way to get an idea of what my dose of lexapro has been in the past 7 yrs (from 2009 to 2014) by adding up the number of 20mgs tablets that I actually picked up from the drug store and dividing it by the number of years.

I have a better, but still far from precise!! picture of what my dosing was. For most of that time, I took 20mgs.

sometime in early 2015, I complained to my PCP about sleeping all the time, she insisted I must be depressed so I went up on the dose to 30mgs for about a month (I recall having bad jaw pain and knowing it was the lexapro) I was sleeping even MORE on the higher dose and decided it was time to get off this fool drug for good.

 

So I did start my taper at 30 mgs, dammit. But I wasn't at 30 mgs for long.

 

 

Knowing this, and knowing that I tapered too fast in the summer of 2015, then CT'ed from late May to late Oct., finally reinstating Oct 26th-

what would you (the mods and/or anyone with experience of such inconsistent dosing) suggest for a hold?

I am definitely going to hold at the dose I'm at- I think 10 mos is good, but if you think that longer would be better, I can do that too.

 

I also wonder, and I don't know if I brought this up before or not- but having been on lexapro for over **13yrs, do you think that the sleepiness I was having was from the lexapro no longer working? that poop out thing?

and if so, what effect, if any, does that have on a taper?

I get so confused when I read about adverse effects from a drug you've been on a long time, and poop out, and esp by kindling. I am guessing I'm "kindled"-- can anyone confirm that this is the case? (I dont' expect an actual diagnosis, just an educated guess)
 

oh I wish I could get WD off my mind and just go about my life, but it seems to be the focus of my days lately.

 

today hasn't been too bad so far, except that I am very cold when it's actually quite warm here (70 degrees F indoors)

I didn't have as much sweating last night either, which was nice. Still can not sleep for more than 60 to 90 mins at a time (mostly just 60 mins, it seems)

 

maybe I'm cold cuz my body is asleep lol

 

 

 

(**I'm only counting the years when I took it more or less daily, not the year and a half or so since tapering- I was first rxed lexapro in 2002)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Cat,

I can only comment on MY experience with Lexapro, and I hear and noticed myself when I forgot a dose, and other report the same thing when withdrawing too quickly report here- maybe you had this when you withdrew really quickly the beginning 2015(?), sleepiness is a HUGE issue, though it is usually coupled with sleeping a LOT. How did you handle the big fast drop when you started your withdrawal on Lexapro? Do you explain it all in your thread in detail, but maybe I did not get far enough? the beginning before you came here about (I started your thread, and did not remember reading about that)? I am curious, as I will be starting my WD of Lex soon, and I wonder how you handled dropping so much so fast- when did you know you were in trouble? When you totally dropped off, or was it before that that you had side effects? I am not going to drop like you did, but part of what I do here is learn abut what happens, what happened before we came here sometimes, when left to our own devices because no one taught us the right way.

 

Sometimes less windows and waves, and "WD Normal" (a term I like, BTW), can happen, where the ups and downs are not so pronounced, and I have read many accounts of WD here, and people go through all sorts of waves and windows, and sometimes not so much, it is less common, but it happens. It can happen so many ways. With what you have gone through lately, I am assuming WD Normal is better than what you WERE dealing with, yes?

 

As to how I am, Just waiting to start my WD on Lex. I had a couple of things happen so I am waiting for my body to calm before I begin my taper. That may be a while, as I missed a dose each the last 3 weeks. and December I missed 4 days in a row, and am still reeling from that (not my fault, was a pharmacy issue as I cannot take the generic). So, I am calmly waiting. The last 13 months have been hell- the worst in my life, starting Oct 2015. My thread spells it out.

 

I would love to hear about your rats and cat. Do they sniff at each other? Heard that rats are neat pets! I have had so many pets rowing up, from cats to rabbits to reptiles, dogs, and even a mouse, but never a rat. Are they cuddly and friendly? Smart?

 

Hope you are hanging in there!

Skeeter

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 6.25mg
Current status: September 2018 forced to go down to 10mg of Valium/Diazepam from around 15mg, with the plan to have me totally of in 2 more months. I was not given a chance to give input at tapering at this speed, please go much, much slower. Luckily I found a new doctor, but was thrown off course by my rapid taper, as of 2/19 am down to 6.25mg, and am stable. Will update with dates of taper ASAP.
Read my history here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12819-skeeters-journey/

   
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that a doctor educated in withdrawal is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!

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  • Mentor

HI Skeeter,
I will answer your post in several sections, for now I'll just tell you about my lexapro journey.

I was sleeping a lot WHILE  I was taking the lexapro!!
this is what no one else seems to have had.

 

This is why I think that maybe that was "poop out" or I was having an adverse reaction or something?

 

So, I was on lexapro for years and I noticed that I was falling asleep if I just sat still for a little while, even after sleeping all night (or sleeping like 10 hrs or more!!) I could sleep as much as 20 hrs in a day and still feel tired!!

 

I mentioned this to my dr and told her I thought it was the lexapro, and she said no, you must be depressed (sleeping a lot can be a symptom of depression but I was SURE I was not depressed)

Frustrated, I went home and upped my dose from 20 mgs to 30mgs. What happened? I slept even MORE but I had severe jaw pain on top of that.

 

that's when I knew it had to be the lexapro. So in June 2015, I cut the dose down from 30 mgs (not sure how long I was at that dose, but def under a month) to 20 mgs, then to 10, then to 5 and then to 2.5mgs

 

during that time period, I didn't notice too much til I got down to 2.5mgs and then I could not sleep at all! not at all!
I was suddenly awake round the clock and had the most terrible rages ever. I was screaming at everyone, at the dr, and the drs receptionist, it was horrible.

The dr gave me an Rx for something to help me sleep, I went home and googled it, and found this forum, thank goodness!!

 

at that point I was taking 2.5mgs every other day, which is what the dr said to do. :(

 

I quickly learned that was the WRONG thing to do, and went back to 2.5mgs every day and stayed there from Dec 2015 to May 26th 2016

During those months, I was able to sleep some, but def. not well. Then I got the flu, then another flu, and then pneumonia; from Feb to May I was very sick. So even though I was waking up frequently, I wasn't able to do much but lay around most of the day. I did the bare minimum around the house. I was so out of breath from the pneumonia, I never made it out to food shop and lost a lot of wt because I would go days eating just toast or graham crackers and tea.

 

In May I jumped off at 2.5mgs by accident but because I was on a steroid for post infection inflammation, I had some euphoria from that, and thought I"d be fine jumping off at 2.5mgs. I thought WD was over. :/

 

I got thru June and July ok ish, I wasn't sleeping well and I was getting anxious and jumpy, in August I was starting to get vague intrusive thoughts, and then in late Sept - early Oct, WD hit BADDDDDDD!! bad bad bad!! There's a list of all the symptoms I had, I prefer not to look at it right now but  it's only a few pages back, I did a summary of where I was when it was bad, and where I am now.

 

I have not been able to sleep much at all since Sept. I sleep a couple of hours and then wake up.
 

so, it's clear to me that you can come down from the higher doses without a whole lot of problems, even if you go fast, BUT once you get down to that 2.5, you have GOT TO GO SLOW

 

probably slower than slow!!!

 

I have read some of the threads by ppl doing a proper taper and while they have symptoms they appear to be much less severe. at least I would hope so!

 

I hope you will got super slow! I wish I had.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Administrator

Most people find the SSRIs activating, but some people find they are sleepy-making.

 

Are you thinking of trying a tad of Lexapro because of the sleep problems? Maybe 0.5mg might work. This would be better for you than Zyprexa, which interferes with sugar metabolism.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Catnapt.

I second what Alto says.  You need a much lower dose increase to make a difference when you are a this low level.

 

When I went on Lexapro, I was also dealing with interdose WD from Xanax, so sleep was very affected as I was up every few hours with that wicked ID WD, then was the shot heard around my world, when my doc switched benzo's on me in one day, a process that usually takes weeks to months to do, so misery beyond what I knew for 4 months.

 

Since that time. my sleep slowly returned to my normal, better actually n the warmer weather, the short time I had before the cold set in, but if I like at my sleep compared to my sleep on the AD that had pooped out on me before Oct of last year is different, a bit deeper and longer, it is a bit of a better sleep, and if I forget a pill, I sleep  a lot after that, but the other side effects are awful. like my memory is non-existent, etc. I know that people who taper too fast for their bodies (the ones on this site on the Lexapro thread) say they get really tired if they cut too fast, but does not apply that to your situation, because you are on a microdose compared to others.  But for you a small increase up like Alto suggested, may help you.  As you know the idea is t make small changes so if the experiment that does not work, it is easier to calm your CNS  back down.

 

Thank you for telling me your story about Lexapro.  I am NOT planning on doing that, I was more interested in finding out how you did overall.  I do wonder if at higher doses, I can do the full 10% after my initial month of 5% to test the waters.  Your time telling me was very much appreciated.

 

Not now, but when you have time, I do want to hear about your pets!!

 

Be Well!

Skeeter

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 6.25mg
Current status: September 2018 forced to go down to 10mg of Valium/Diazepam from around 15mg, with the plan to have me totally of in 2 more months. I was not given a chance to give input at tapering at this speed, please go much, much slower. Luckily I found a new doctor, but was thrown off course by my rapid taper, as of 2/19 am down to 6.25mg, and am stable. Will update with dates of taper ASAP.
Read my history here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12819-skeeters-journey/

   
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that a doctor educated in withdrawal is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!

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  • Mentor

Most people find the SSRIs activating, but some people find they are sleepy-making.

 

Are you thinking of trying a tad of Lexapro because of the sleep problems? Maybe 0.5mg might work. This would be better for you than Zyprexa, which interferes with sugar metabolism.

 

 

hi Alto, thanks for weighing in

 

Yes I've been thinking about up dosing every so slightly on the lexapro, but not that much (I am on 0.27, down from 0.3mgs almost a month ago)

 

I just don't know. When I get thru a difficult day, I tell myself, ok, you did it, hold where you are, and keep going.

 

When I have a difficult day and it seems to get the better of me, I want to go back to the old pattern of swallowing something to make it stop. :(

 

I guess my worry is that I won't heal without getting enough sleep. But correct me if I'm wrong, I think others here *have* healed even with extremely poor and broken sleep...?

if this is the case, I will try to stick it out.

 

I am apparently a very slow learner but it's finally getting thru to me that making changes are the cause of so much of  my troubles and I really need to do the hardest thing of all, and settle in and stay stable.

 

However if things get super rough for more than a few days or if I get that horrible SI again, I will re visit the up dosing idea.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor

Sorry to be off topic, but that is the cutest avatar, catnapt!

 

thank you so much!

 I wish I could say it was one of my own rats, but it's not, just a stock photo I found somewhere

 

I love your avatar, it's a dragonfly, is it not?

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Oh, you have rats? My kids did many years ago. They were the sweetest things ever. What kind do you have?

 

Yes, I think mine is a dragonfly. I have always liked them and I read that in Japan they are symbols of autumn (my favorite season) and courage and strength, which I really need!

 

MN

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  • Mentor

riding the waves :(

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Cat,

Hang in there, you will get through this. AM hoping for a nice short wave and a big ole window for you!

Skeeter

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 6.25mg
Current status: September 2018 forced to go down to 10mg of Valium/Diazepam from around 15mg, with the plan to have me totally of in 2 more months. I was not given a chance to give input at tapering at this speed, please go much, much slower. Luckily I found a new doctor, but was thrown off course by my rapid taper, as of 2/19 am down to 6.25mg, and am stable. Will update with dates of taper ASAP.
Read my history here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12819-skeeters-journey/

   
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that a doctor educated in withdrawal is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!

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  • Mentor

thanks MN and Skeeter

 

I've been afraid and anxious all day and I think I might know why- My vision has changed again, and instead of things looking dark all the time (seriously, everything has looked dark and menacing no matter how many lights I turn on!!)

today they've looked bright. I don't think they are *too* bright, like things were back in the fall when I crashed and my symptoms were really bad,

I *think* I may, in fact, be seeing things the way they really are, for the first time in a very long time (possibly years)

I'm not 100% sure, maybe this is DR...? things don't look plastic, just bright and crisp, like my vision's cleared up.

 

It kind of scares me. I am afraid to look at things. I had a kind of tunnel vision for so long, so that when I went outside, I would only see what was literally right in front of me and no  further. Now I can see off in the distance and the world seems too big and overwhelming.

 

even my apt looks HUGE hahaha. well, it *is* kind of big, but it looks like way too much for me to take care of. good excuse not to sweep the floor, huh? ;-)

 

This is all my brain healing, I know this, but it's a very big change and all changes set off the alarm bells in me lately. I am afraid it will be a change I need to react to in some immediate way, and mostly afraid that I will not be up to the task or screw it up (esp early in the day when my brain is the foggiest)

But it all means I'm healing, I'm holding on to that. Today, Frogie and I discussed ways to help our brains heal faster by eating good foods and by doing and learning new things.

It was so good to be past my neuro emotions and be able to talk to my friend without worrying that i'd fly off the handle by some purely innocent remark (because believe me, Frogie is so sweet she could not hurt a fly and so kind she wouldn't want to)

 

 

so, yeh, rough day but I got thru it, with a  little help from my friends.

 

 

tomorrow I will tell you about my pet rats ;-)

 

thanks for being there for me during the rough spots, guys.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Cat,

I am thrilled for your vision.  You will get used to it! I cannot even imagine what that must have been like.  You are doing good at keeping yourself calm, you will be used to this change in no time.

 

I am looking forward to hearing about the Rats, I am such a pet lover. 

 

As a child, when my parents would visit friends, my first question in the door would be to ask if they had any pets, and some lucky pet would get tons of attention and love and play!

 

Be well!

Skeeter

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 6.25mg
Current status: September 2018 forced to go down to 10mg of Valium/Diazepam from around 15mg, with the plan to have me totally of in 2 more months. I was not given a chance to give input at tapering at this speed, please go much, much slower. Luckily I found a new doctor, but was thrown off course by my rapid taper, as of 2/19 am down to 6.25mg, and am stable. Will update with dates of taper ASAP.
Read my history here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12819-skeeters-journey/

   
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that a doctor educated in withdrawal is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!

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  • Mentor

just a quick note as I'm having a hard time handwriting anything, but typing is ok, so to add to my supplements, I took a capsule of L theanine yesterday afternoon (wanted to test it out before bedtime in case I had a paradoxical effect or something) It definitely did *something*.

I had an odd sensation I can't put my finger on, but last night my sleep was somewhat better. :)

 

I also noticed that since the mat yoga classes have ended, I get mild to moderate cortisol spikes now. I will have to do some yoga at home by trying to re create what was done in the class, and maybe follow some YouTube videos.

 

more later, got chair yoga this morning.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • Moderator
On 2/23/2017 at 11:19 AM, catnapt said:

thanks MN and Skeeter

 

I've been afraid and anxious all day and I think I might know why- My vision has changed again, and instead of things looking dark all the time (seriously, everything has looked dark and menacing no matter how many lights I turn on!!)

today they've looked bright. I don't think they are *too* bright, like things were back in the fall when I crashed and my symptoms were really bad,

I *think* I may, in fact, be seeing things the way they really are, for the first time in a very long time (possibly years)

I'm not 100% sure, maybe this is DR...? things don't look plastic, just bright and crisp, like my vision's cleared up.

 

It kind of scares me. I am afraid to look at things. I had a kind of tunnel vision for so long, so that when I went outside, I would only see what was literally right in front of me and no further. Now I can see off in the distance and the world seems too big and overwhelming.

 

even my apt looks HUGE hahaha. well, it *is* kind of big, but it looks like way too much for me to take care of. good excuse not to sweep the floor, huh? 😉

 

This is all my brain healing, I know this, but it's a very big change and all changes set off the alarm bells in me lately. I am afraid it will be a change I need to react to in some immediate way, and mostly afraid that I will not be up to the task or screw it up (esp early in the day when my brain is the foggiest)

But it all means I'm healing, I'm holding on to that. Today, Frogie and I discussed ways to help our brains heal faster by eating good foods and by doing and learning new things.

It was so good to be past my neuro emotions and be able to talk to my friend without worrying that i'd fly off the handle by some purely innocent remark (because believe me, Frogie is so sweet she could not hurt a fly and so kind she wouldn't want to)

 

 

so, yeh, rough day but I got thru it, with a little help from my friends.

 

 

tomorrow I will tell you about my pet rats 😉

 

thanks for being there for me during the rough spots, guys.

 

 

You really helped me yesterday. When I had my "meltdown ". I was talking to my fiancé, and he still thinks it's the steroids doing this to me.

 

Thanks for being so kind. :)

 

I hope we can talk soon. I'll be home all day today. We have a 60% chance of rain/snow mix today. Less than an inch of snow but cold. So I'm not going anywhere.

 

Hope you enjoy yoga today. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed member name

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Quote

 

 

You really helped me yesterday. When I had my "meltdown ". I was talking to my fiancé, and he still thinks it's the steroids doing this to me.

 

Thanks for being so kind. :)

 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

oh I didn't do much, but I'm glad it helped. yeh steroids can cause all sorts of mood changes. 😕

 

glad you don't need those any longer.

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed member name

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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You did more than you could ever know.

 

I appreciate it so much.

 

I'm looking forward to the yoga. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quote after member name change

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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