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Catnapt: Hope I'm doing this right

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#757 Frogie

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Posted 29 April 2017 - 05:15 AM

Frogie, ShakeyJerr, tntd and Cipramillion,
thanks guys for your good wishes and encouragement!!
to be honest, in spite of my "positive attitude", which floundered sometimes, I was not 100% sure I'd get to the point where I'd be able to sleep for this long. I hoped it would come, but I had mentally prepared myself for a much longer struggle with severe insomnia.
This is truly a gift and I am so grateful for it.
I am also grateful for the support of my friends here on this board.
It's awesome to not have to go thru this alone.


It's awesome that you are finally sleeping!

Hope it stays there for you. :)

I'm always there for you.

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#758 tntd

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Posted 29 April 2017 - 10:03 AM

I agree with you on that. This forum and the support here are invaluble. 

 

Hugs,

 

T


Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17.

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding.

L-theanine 200 mg 3x day, L-glycine 500mg 3x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 20mg, Lactium 167mg 3x day, Taurine 500mg 2Xday.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 


#759 Skeeter

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Posted 29 April 2017 - 06:11 PM

Did you gain interest in your rat friends again, or are you still feeling more happy being around people instead? it looked in your videos like you were always interested in enrichment activities for the cuties, so they do not get bored, as they are intelligent, curious, neat little beings! Are you back to interacting with the fully?

Skeeter

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 15mg
Current status: Holding.  Other health issues.
Read my history here: http://survivinganti...eeters-journey/

My most recent med signature: http://survivinganti...urney/?p=258861
 
How to create your signature: http://survivinganti...your-signature/
 
 
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that your doctor is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!


#760 catnapt

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Posted 29 April 2017 - 06:33 PM

Did you gain interest in your rat friends again, or are you still feeling more happy being around people instead? it looked in your videos like you were always interested in enrichment activities for the cuties, so they do not get bored, as they are intelligent, curious, neat little beings! Are you back to interacting with the fully?

Skeeter

 

 

funny you should ask, I have been able to interact with them and really enjoy them a lot more lately. it still feels like I"m not quite 100% where I used to be, but I'm getting closer.

it's nice.

:)

Tomorrow I get 2 new foster rats! I am looking forward to socializing them, and then introducing them to my girls.

I had my most "close to normal" day today. The morning had a few little bumps; I was startled by a bike almost crashing into me, and then an odd conversation with a guy on the bridge, talking about ppl jumping off it, that was a bit disturbing, but only a little bit more disturbing than it would have been 'normally'.

 

It's now past my bedtime and I'm still busy and don't want to go to bed, this is the first time this has happened in literally over 9 mos!!
I hope I don't regret staying up late (hahaha it's only 10:30 ish)


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#761 catnapt

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 03:34 AM

still doing pretty well over all.

I have a better idea of what things I need to avoid, for example, yesterday I ate too close to bedtime and had a rocky night, not terribly bad, but woke up a lot and didn't get back to sleep as easily as on past nights.

I also ate a fair amnt of processed foods yesterday and that ramped up my anxiety level quite a bit, later in the day, when I rarely have any issues with anxiety.

 

so- note to self: no food after 6 pm and no more processed crap (It was some of those Special K bars)

 

The foster boys have arrived and they are too cute!! they won't be staying long though, because they are very adoptable. They're just a bit hand shy, so once I've gotten them over that, they'll be good to be listed as available.

 

I met my therapist on Friday. It's too soon to tell if things will work out. I really dislike her office, and she seems to, as well- it's a tiny room with no windows. I do not look forward to going back there and have been trying to figure out how to address that. I'd like to suggest that we meet somewhere else, but I don't know if they are allowed to do that, for insurance/liability reasons.

I don't know if I can spend another hour in that room. Maybe we could meet out in a park somewhere.

She also didn't seem to understand my need to stay connected to the present. She may be curious about my past, but my past is not an issue for me right now, I have enough to do, dealing with the present.

 

 I need to see a therapist in order to get my lexapro and lamictal. :/

this was not my choice, I didn't really want therapy right now.

so, we'll see how it goes.


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#762 catnapt

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Posted 02 May 2017 - 04:34 AM

Every day is different, a new surprise each day, it seems.

Because I didn't sleep well the night before last, I got very tired in the late afternoon yesterday.

 
I also felt a bit dizzy, so I laid down on the sofa, thinking I could read for awhile, rest and then get back up and finish up the chores I'd been doing. surprise, surprise, I fell asleep!! during the day!! for over an hour!

(to put this into perspective, it's only been a few days that I've been able to sleep well at night, after over  6 mos of severe insomnia, and sleeping during the day wasn't essentially impossible except for a non refreshing 20mins once or twice, if I recall correctly)

 

of course, that meant I didn't sleep as well last night, I wasn't even tired til almost midnight. Then slept lightly off and on all night.

it's ok, I expected some "waves", of course. Not even sure this qualifies as a wave, or if it's simply because I napped during the day.

Not at all stressed about it, just recording the changes as they happen.

 

Got a lot to do today to care for the new two foster rats as well as keep up with the 5 girls I have. I just realized, since the boys are not yet safe to co-mingle with the girls (they were just neutered, and could possibly still impregnate a female for up to 3 weeks)
I will have to find a place to put the boys when I clean their cage. I can't put them in the rat room, cuz that's where the girls are. I could possibly move their cage out of that room, but this is going to mean a lot of extra work and confusion. I have to try to figure out a way to do this with the least amount of disruption LOL
It's been  a long time since I've had new rats in the house and I've forgotten how much extra work it entails.


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#763 catnapt

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Posted 02 May 2017 - 11:35 AM

I guess I may know why I felt dizzy yesterday. Got my blood pressure checked today and it was 104/58

 

according to Dr Google, lol, anything under 90 for the top number or 60 for the bottom number, is called low blood pressure and can make you feel dizzy

 

not worried, just kinda curious about it, since I've been dealing with mild to moderate anxiety. In fact, I was anxious when my blood pressure was taken. weird, eh?


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#764 tntd

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Posted 02 May 2017 - 01:27 PM

Hi Catnapt,

 

I love your stories about your rat friends. I hope they are starting to get used to being handled. Rats can be such sweeties.

 

I'm amazed that you were able to nap. That's really great. I'm sorry that you didn't sleep as well at night though. Hopefully it's just a momentary thing.

 

I have a friend who is taking lamictal, at a much higher dose, but it has made her sleep almost all the time. She used to be sleepy because of the other psych meds she was on but when they added the lamicat for her anxiety it got really bad. 

 

I'm sorry to hear that the office of your new therapist is activating/triggering. That's not good. How often do you have to see your therapist? It's so frustrating that most of these dr's and therapists don't understand withdrawal. Hopefully you will be able to work it out with her. 

 

I wonder what is causing your low blood pressure. I have it normally, it's a family trait so I know what you mean about getting dizzy. Now on top of the dizzy when standing from a sitting position I also end up with dizzyness when I'm already standing. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often but it is really no fun so I hope you don't have to deal with it too often.

 

Hugs and healing,

T


Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17.

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding.

L-theanine 200 mg 3x day, L-glycine 500mg 3x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 20mg, Lactium 167mg 3x day, Taurine 500mg 2Xday.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 


#765 catnapt

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Posted 04 May 2017 - 04:47 AM

Hi Catnapt,

 

I love your stories about your rat friends. I hope they are starting to get used to being handled. Rats can be such sweeties.

 

I'm amazed that you were able to nap. That's really great. I'm sorry that you didn't sleep as well at night though. Hopefully it's just a momentary thing.

 

I have a friend who is taking lamictal, at a much higher dose, but it has made her sleep almost all the time. She used to be sleepy because of the other psych meds she was on but when they added the lamicat for her anxiety it got really bad. 

 

I'm sorry to hear that the office of your new therapist is activating/triggering. That's not good. How often do you have to see your therapist? It's so frustrating that most of these dr's and therapists don't understand withdrawal. Hopefully you will be able to work it out with her. 

 

I wonder what is causing your low blood pressure. I have it normally, it's a family trait so I know what you mean about getting dizzy. Now on top of the dizzy when standing from a sitting position I also end up with dizzyness when I'm already standing. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often but it is really no fun so I hope you don't have to deal with it too often.

 

Hugs and healing,

T

 

hi tntd,

thanks so much for stopping by my thread. sorry I didn't reply sooner, it's been a rough few days. Well the days have been mostly ok, but the nights, not so much.

 

I've had several sleepless nights in a row.... & am now wondering  if I should stop the glycine in case it may have gone paradoxical on me... ???

 

you mention your friend on lamictal... I didn't really get much improvement, if any, in the length of time that I sleep since adding a low dose, but it did seem like I slept a lot deeper.

that's interesting that it makes her sleepy. I was on a higher dose in the past, 200 0r 300 or something, I forget but I also was on lexapro, so I never got sleepy on it. It just made me feel kind of off balance in an unpleasant way. I wonder if I should wean down off of that.....

 

now I'm back to very light sleep, just a few minutes and then I wake up in a panic. That could be PTSD related, or WD related, or both. who knows? I think it's probably both....

my worst night was last night and I have an appt with the therapist today- coincidence? maybe, but probably not.

 

there was one other change I made recently, I ran out of soy milk and got some almond milk. Now I'm back on the soy milk and have been having hot flashes and more restless sleep. I'm going to go back to the almond milk- it's cheaper any way. I will just have to find another source for vit B12, which is added to soy milk but is not in the almond milk. 

 

The new boys are coming along!! They were so bored, apparently they were not being taken out of the cage in their previous two or 3 foster homes, so they were very bored! I let them out to play for as long as I can, at least an hour, but more when I can manage it. They run around and explore and climb and then sometimes, they will come to check me out. I give them little treats so that each interaction with me is a good one, I talk to them soothingly and stroke them when they'll allow it.

I hope that I can get them ready to be adopted out soon, because as much as I enjoy them, having two cages to clean is a lot more work. Maybe it's just because I"m not sleeping, it seems to a bit too much...

maybe if I get some better sleep, I won't feel quite so overwhelmed.

 

just taking it one day at a time, or, when things get rougher, one minute at a time.

 

how have you been doing? I should stop by your thread soon and see.


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#766 catnapt

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Posted 05 May 2017 - 04:57 AM

ack riding a bad wave, with dry heaves, lots of pain (maybe overdid it with walking and exercise) and ramped up anxiety, insomnia, racing thoughts, the works.

 

trying to remember how to acknowledge, accept and float

 

Feels more like I'm sinking  :/

 

Gotta look thru my tool box and figure out what might work.

Distraction isn't doing much good lately, so I guess maybe I need to work more on meditating or.........??
I don't know

 

I'll figure it out though.


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#767 ShakeyJerr

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Posted 05 May 2017 - 06:01 AM

ack riding a bad wave, with dry heaves, lots of pain (maybe overdid it with walking and exercise) and ramped up anxiety, insomnia, racing thoughts, the works.

 

trying to remember how to acknowledge, accept and float

 

Feels more like I'm sinking  :/

 

Gotta look thru my tool box and figure out what might work.

Distraction isn't doing much good lately, so I guess maybe I need to work more on meditating or.........??
I don't know

 

I'll figure it out though.

 

Hang in there. I am actually having very similar symptoms today after another highly stressful evening and morning. Even the heaves and the "sinking" instead of floating feeling (I'm being literal - when I try to lay down to rest, I feel like I am sinking, like my heart is getting too slow).

 

Let me know how you come out of it. So far this morning I have tried orange juice (citrus fruit is supposed to tamp down cortisol) and chamomile tea. And a lot of deep breathing.

 

SJ


Link to my intro/main thread: http://survivinganti...jerr-say-hello/

 

Med History
Dates are tentative (my memory is shot)...

Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003 (I don't remember the dosages). Went off but developed symptoms so put back on after 4 months.

Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) some time in 2010 (I think). Did a self-taper during 2016 after losing insurance. Been off since around the beginning of 2017.

Developed Discontinuation Syndrome beginning with uncontrolled/unexplained crying in 02/17.

Moved on to full-blow symptoms from there. Been really bad since late 03/17.


#768 tntd

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Posted 06 May 2017 - 03:22 PM

Hi Catnapt,

 

I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much, you too SJ. This withdrawal stuff is so frustrating. Sometimes even with all our coping skills taking it just a moment at a time is all we can do. 

 

I'm so glad you are letting the boys out and interacting with them. I hope it is helping you some too. They sound adorable. What color are they?

 

I've been doing a bit better again. I have to make sure I don't over do it when I'm feeling a little better. I think that may have been what put me into such a horrible wave last time. It's so hard not to do stuff though when it has been so long since I've been able to do anything. I think we all know what that's like.

 

Acceptance is one of the hardest coping skills to master. I hope you can acknowledge, accept, and float. I have a hard time working on that when I am in a wave. I suppose the best time to work on it is when we are feeling half way decent. 

 

I hope that you are feeling somewhat better today.

 

Hugs and healing,

 

T

 

By the way MNgal recommends body scans as a good way to deal with bad waves. She says they have been a lot of help to her.


Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17.

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding.

L-theanine 200 mg 3x day, L-glycine 500mg 3x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 20mg, Lactium 167mg 3x day, Taurine 500mg 2Xday.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 


#769 catnapt

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Posted 08 May 2017 - 03:34 AM

Hi Catnapt,

 

I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much, you too SJ. This withdrawal stuff is so frustrating. Sometimes even with all our coping skills taking it just a moment at a time is all we can do. 

 

I'm so glad you are letting the boys out and interacting with them. I hope it is helping you some too. They sound adorable. What color are they?

 

I've been doing a bit better again. I have to make sure I don't over do it when I'm feeling a little better. I think that may have been what put me into such a horrible wave last time. It's so hard not to do stuff though when it has been so long since I've been able to do anything. I think we all know what that's like.

 

Acceptance is one of the hardest coping skills to master. I hope you can acknowledge, accept, and float. I have a hard time working on that when I am in a wave. I suppose the best time to work on it is when we are feeling half way decent. 

 

I hope that you are feeling somewhat better today.

 

Hugs and healing,

 

T

 

By the way MNgal recommends body scans as a good way to deal with bad waves. She says they have been a lot of help to her.

 

hi T,

things are up and down, but overall, better, I think. Mornings are rough, nights are different each time LOL I just try to adapt.

I'm trying to take each day as a new "adventure"- hmm, let's see what condition I wake up in tomorrow... assuming I get any sleep at all, hahaha

 

It helps to try to have a sense of humor about it.

Oh I hear you about not overdoing it!! I think that may have contributed to my recent wave as well. I never know for sure, of course, but better safe than sorry.

 

I *am* enjoying the foster boys.  They are black and white with curly thick fur. One of them, Biscuit, has made a lot of progress, the other (Pumpernickel) is a bit harder to socialize; he's still quite nervous and wary of me. He lets me pick him up but struggles to get down if I hold him too long. Biscuit wants to explore, so sometimes he'll climb on me if he thinks I might give him access to the floor.

He's not yet learned that there's only one floor they are allowed out on, the one in the rat room.

 

My girls have never tried to get down to the floor in any other rooms, so it's kind of funny (and sometimes frustrating) trying to contain the boys.

Female rats are known for being more adventurous and active overall, so this is not something I was expecting to have to deal with, hahaha.

I want to get them ready to be adopted by May 20th, when there'll be an adoption open house. If Pumpernickel can over come his fear by then, they will both be very adoptable, as rex boys like these guys are in high demand. Right now the rescue has mostly pink eyed white rats, known as PEWs and they are less favorable to a lot of people. Which is too bad, because the PEWs typically have the best personalities. I prefer them over the more colorful ones!
In fact, I've adopted a lot of PEWs. My second favorite color is beige. or Siamese, with the brown points that make them look like they're toasted marshmallows on each end.


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#770 tntd

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Posted 08 May 2017 - 12:04 PM

I love hearing your stories about your furbabies. I didn't know that the different types were referred to differently. Pews and Rex, interesting. I've always been exposed to the white rats and they were always very friendly. The sure do love to crawl around on a person. It's pretty fun. I hope they are ready for adoption on the 20th. What a sense of accomplishment and pride in your boys you will have :D I love their names too. 

 

I hear you on each day being a new adventure. I also never know what I'm going to wake up to. My nights aren't usually too bad but I think it's because I'm still on Buspar and clonazepam and they help me "sleep", though I never feel rested. The curse of the downer drugs. Woke up this morning to a not fun day. I always wake up and say, "it's going to be a good day" and then see what the day brings. Sometimes it's true and sometimes not so much. You are so right about having to have a sense of humour about all of this. Up and down, up and down. It's a good thing I like rollercoasters, though this one not so much!

 

I hope you are having a good adventure today.

 

Hugs and healing

T


Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17.

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding.

L-theanine 200 mg 3x day, L-glycine 500mg 3x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 20mg, Lactium 167mg 3x day, Taurine 500mg 2Xday.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 


#771 Blondiee1915

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Posted 09 May 2017 - 06:18 AM

Hi Catnapt,

Thank you so much for stopping by my thread . Yes the attitude is everything for sure . I was reading last night how simple positive affirmation have a tremendous effect on the brain . The more we practice them the more we believe in them and the brain adopts to that way of thinking . I am going to try it . Even started writing down 3 positive things each night before bed . But yes it is hard too and today I might be in a whiny mood waaa loll . Just breathing here and accepting as is and hoping for the best

I still have to catch up on your updates but the last one I read it sounds like you are doing well overall . Managing and staying focused . Exciting about foster rats, they are keeping you busy ! Hopefully your sleep is also on track . I forgot I read way back how you had tinnitus as well . We do have a lot of similar symptoms thanks to lexapro . But we will be okay I can feel it

B
  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop.  Most lasted 3 months, was forced to reinstate due to severe symptoms 
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other medications: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil (each med about 2-4 months).  
  • MOI Nardil  2014 - 2015
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 

Started to withdraw from Vibryiid around mid -June'16 with last dose in in July. Felt pretty good for the whole summer. Some anxiety, dizziness, short fuse, some weakness but okay overall. Comes October - dizziness, spinning, off balance feeling, FATIGUE, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, insomnia, DP/DR

 

Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, then increased to 5 mg  Some relief, sleep better, severe DP/DR decreased.  Still very anxious, exhausted, dizzy. 

Switched 12/26/16 Luvox 50 mg (25 mg am and 25 mg pm).  Dizziness, exhaustion, anxiety, DP/DR

1/13/17 switched to one dose of Luvox 50 mg before bed.  EXHAUSTED, dizzy, weakness, off balance, anxiety, DP/DR

1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM.  Main symptoms: FATIGUE, dizziness, DP/DR, anxiety 

 

Supplements: iron, fish oil, vitamin D, methyl folate, Mitochondiral NRG (for fatigue)


#772 catnapt

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 05:08 AM

Hi Catnapt,

Thank you so much for stopping by my thread . Yes the attitude is everything for sure . I was reading last night how simple positive affirmation have a tremendous effect on the brain . The more we practice them the more we believe in them and the brain adopts to that way of thinking . I am going to try it . Even started writing down 3 positive things each night before bed . But yes it is hard too and today I might be in a whiny mood waaa loll . Just breathing here and accepting as is and hoping for the best

 

you're welcome

 

oh, I need to do this!! I will start writing down positive things at night, to read the next day, because mornings are still the hardest but they *are* getting better; some better than others

 

I am spending a lot of time with new friends, it's awesome to actually HAVE friends that I can spend time with!! I was so overmedicated for so damn long, I wasn't able to get outside my own head and connect with others, and now-
I have people who actually want to spend time with me and enjoy my company. It's great!

it's a whole new chapter in my life, one I never thought would happen. I thought I was too socially awkward to make friends. I guess I was wrong

it's good to be wrong sometimes! :)


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#773 Blondiee1915

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 06:52 AM

Cat! Wonderful news ! I can relate to this 100%. I am actually not surprised you are making friends . You are such a kind loving and understanding person I would like to hang out with you too ! :))) wanted to wish you a good weekend and hope you are feeling good

Also, when I was feeling crappy (still am but better attitude ) I went and reread my threads and also saw all of your encouraging posts and suggestions on my page . I wanted to thank you for being so supportive and mind to me ❤️
b
  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop.  Most lasted 3 months, was forced to reinstate due to severe symptoms 
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other medications: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil (each med about 2-4 months).  
  • MOI Nardil  2014 - 2015
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 

Started to withdraw from Vibryiid around mid -June'16 with last dose in in July. Felt pretty good for the whole summer. Some anxiety, dizziness, short fuse, some weakness but okay overall. Comes October - dizziness, spinning, off balance feeling, FATIGUE, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, insomnia, DP/DR

 

Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, then increased to 5 mg  Some relief, sleep better, severe DP/DR decreased.  Still very anxious, exhausted, dizzy. 

Switched 12/26/16 Luvox 50 mg (25 mg am and 25 mg pm).  Dizziness, exhaustion, anxiety, DP/DR

1/13/17 switched to one dose of Luvox 50 mg before bed.  EXHAUSTED, dizzy, weakness, off balance, anxiety, DP/DR

1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM.  Main symptoms: FATIGUE, dizziness, DP/DR, anxiety 

 

Supplements: iron, fish oil, vitamin D, methyl folate, Mitochondiral NRG (for fatigue)


#774 catnapt

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 04:11 AM

Cat! Wonderful news ! I can relate to this 100%. I am actually not surprised you are making friends . You are such a kind loving and understanding person I would like to hang out with you too ! :))) wanted to wish you a good weekend and hope you are feeling good

Also, when I was feeling crappy (still am but better attitude ) I went and reread my threads and also saw all of your encouraging posts and suggestions on my page . I wanted to thank you for being so supportive and mind to me ❤️
b

 

aw thanks so much Blondie!! you've been a great support to me, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

 

I hope you feel a lot better soon.!!

 

I've been going thru a pretty decent stretch, not much anxiety, but not sleeping as well as I was before.

I think the sleep issue is because of the weather- raw and rainy, which means I've not been out walking as much as before. That exercise really helps me sleep better, I think.
I have some cognitive issues off and on, and some memory issues. Occasionally if I'm tired or a bit stressed, I'll have vision issues and some trouble with body temp fluctuations but not as bad as before. Everything seems to be getting better, overall. I am so grateful that I've not had any more really bad waves of anxiety or depression, but I try to prepare myself that those may come, while also trying to enjoy the better times now. It's quite a balancing act some days.

 

My new friends help a lot, they take the focus off me. I also see that, although I'm struggling with WD, everyone has their own personal struggles. As much as I dislike what I'm going thru, I would not want to trade this for some of the things my friends have to deal with, losses and other health issues, struggles with money and living conditions. Overall, I'm very fortunate!!

one friend is from Thailand, she has bad health and little money but she is always happy and smiling. She lives with her husband in a dingy apt building that has problems with bedbugs. Ick!  When ppl ask her why she is always smiling, though, she says it 's because she is here in the US and things are SO much better here than back in her home country.


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#775 catnapt

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Posted 16 May 2017 - 02:55 AM

note to self: listen to your body. I went for a long walk last night, after 4:30, which, in the back of my mind, I thought might be too late in the day for exercise, and I was right...

It turned out to be a 2hr walk and at the end of it, after several nights of not sleeping well, I was exhausted but too revved up to fall asleep til about, I don't know, maybe 9:30 or 10, even though I'd been laying down since 8.

Woke up a couple of hours later with a terrible headache and was awake for the rest of the night.

Ugh!

 

lesson learned the hard way: no late day exercise, esp if I'm already tired.

I do a lot better if I get in some exercise early in the day.

 

as happy as I am not to have the anxiety that I had in the past, without it, I am feeling the tiredness and aches and pains in my body a  lot more. The anxiety gave me energy and also seemed to numb me to any bodily sensations of fatigue. Now I feel the tired and have to force myself to keep going in spite of it.

 

so WD symptoms "morph" over time. I still MUCH prefer the milder symptoms I have now, even though they are annoying and get in the way of fully enjoying each day, though, so I'm not complaining, just making an observation.

 

;-)


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#776 Lakelander82

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Posted 16 May 2017 - 04:19 AM

Catnapt, how would 4.30 be too late in the day for exercise? Most people, when working might only get to the gym from 6 to 8 in the evening, maybe even later. Perhaps you're overthinking things way too much?
May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.
March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.
23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg
23rd July 2016 40.5 mg of Sertraline
23rd August 36.45 mg of Sertraline
27th September 34.65 mg
24th October 32.90 mg
28th November 31.26 mg
4th January 32mg
25th Feb 31 mg 22nd March 30mg 14th April 29mg 9th May 28mg

#777 catnapt

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Posted 16 May 2017 - 04:29 AM

Catnapt, how would 4.30 be too late in the day for exercise? Most people, when working might only get to the gym from 6 to 8 in the evening, maybe even later. Perhaps you're overthinking things way too much?

 

it was too late for me, I think. I am awake from 4 am on, and sometimes even earlier. So I go to bed early.

I am winding down for the day after 6 pm, I don't eat after 6 or 7 at the latest, and spend the next couple of hours doing quiet things, making the house darker and cooler and getting ready for bed.

 

Also, I was already very tired when we went for the walk, I've not slept more than 3 broken hours for days now. We walked for 2 hrs straight and about half way thru, I was in a lot of pain (joints and muscles) and wanted to stop but it was another hour to get back to where we started)

So I don't know, maybe this is overthinking but I don't think so lol. I know what my usual routine is, and this was way outside my usual.

so, I need to listen to my body and do things in a time frame that works for me.

 

Now *this* may be overthinking: I had a headache, along with disturbed sleep and THAT may be a sign that it's time to decrease the lamictal (as per Alto's drs suggestions, that she shared with me either in my thread or elsewhere)

 

so along with keeping my exercise to earlier in the day, since that works for me (not saying it's wrong for anyone else!!) I'm going to decrease the lamictal and see if my sleep improves. Now to figure out how much to decrease it............ lol

 

at least my days have been busy, filled with lots of work, friends, fun with pets and the like, so it's not like before, where I had a sleepless night and a miserable day! thank heavens.

I do have a lot of joint and muscle pain- not sure if that's from over exercising or if it's a WD thing, or just my age hahaha

and pain tends to make me very tired.

 

so I've got some moderate to severe fatigue and have to push myself to keep going thru the day. I really had to push myself to get thru that walk, at one point I was afraid I was going to faint or something, I was just so drained.

See, that's what I mean by not listening to my body!! I felt that coming on, and instead of telling my friend, I'm sorry, I need to cut this walk short, I kept going for her sake. She was doing fine!

 

it's a balancing act, and sometimes I just need to think of myself first, and not last, and try not to be so concerned about disappointing a friend. I'm sure, now that I think of it, she'd be upset to know that I pushed myself for her sake. So I really didn't do either of us any favors

:P

 

how are you doing, Lakelander?


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#778 catnapt

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Posted 17 May 2017 - 03:40 PM

wow today was almost a perfect day! the only thing that would have made it better is if I'd slept a bit later (and better)

Today I  felt the most "like myself", the way I used to feel, only better, because I'm not in that over medicated fog any more.

 

I could not have imagined, just a month ago, even, that I would have a day like today.

I got up, did some sewing, took a shower, went for a walk with some friends, met up with another friend, went food shopping for a dinner with different friends tonight... came home, did some cooking, some more sewing, friends came for dinner, and we played with my rats...

and now it's time to wind down for the evening.

 

what a fantastic day!!  and that's in spite of it being over 90 degrees here today, and being on the 3rd floor. the heat used to really bother me, but now that I've lost so much weight, it doesn't bother me nearly as much.

 

just when I thought I was "due" for a wave, I have a day like today. Amazing!!

I've got lots of plans for the next 3 days, and I'd be happy if those days were even half as good as today was.

 

:)


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#779 ShakeyJerr

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:55 AM

wow today was almost a perfect day! the only thing that would have made it better is if I'd slept a bit later (and better)

Today I  felt the most "like myself", the way I used to feel, only better, because I'm not in that over medicated fog any more.

 

I could not have imagined, just a month ago, even, that I would have a day like today.

I got up, did some sewing, took a shower, went for a walk with some friends, met up with another friend, went food shopping for a dinner with different friends tonight... came home, did some cooking, some more sewing, friends came for dinner, and we played with my rats...

and now it's time to wind down for the evening.

 

what a fantastic day!!  and that's in spite of it being over 90 degrees here today, and being on the 3rd floor. the heat used to really bother me, but now that I've lost so much weight, it doesn't bother me nearly as much.

 

just when I thought I was "due" for a wave, I have a day like today. Amazing!!

I've got lots of plans for the next 3 days, and I'd be happy if those days were even half as good as today was.

 

:)

 

Praise God! And don't over do the activities during the next 3 days. Listen to your body and go with the flow. Don't push it.

 

SJ


Link to my intro/main thread: http://survivinganti...jerr-say-hello/

 

Med History
Dates are tentative (my memory is shot)...

Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003 (I don't remember the dosages). Went off but developed symptoms so put back on after 4 months.

Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) some time in 2010 (I think). Did a self-taper during 2016 after losing insurance. Been off since around the beginning of 2017.

Developed Discontinuation Syndrome beginning with uncontrolled/unexplained crying in 02/17.

Moved on to full-blow symptoms from there. Been really bad since late 03/17.


#780 Frogie

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 04:47 AM

Catnapt:

That is awesome the day you had.

I hope there are many more for you. :)

Take care,
Frogie xx
PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Zoloft, 1997-1999; switch to Paxil, 1999-2002 ___2009 - 2015: Gabapentin, 900mg, 2010-2015: tapered of 9 weeks, last dose Sept. 2015, no symptoms ___ Lamictal, 300mg, 2009-2015, taper of 6 weeks, last dose Oct 2015,no symptoms ___ Valium, 40mg, 2008-2015, 8 week taper, last dose Dec 2015, no symptoms ___ 2016: Carafate 1mg (anti-ulcer med) 4x a day as needed. Prescribed but not taking it. ___ Prilosec 40mg; 28-Aug started 25% taper; 1-Oct 20mg a.m. + 15mg p.m. Stopped Nov 26, 2016 w/rebound acid but not too bad.---CURRENT MEDICATIONS---Supplements: 150 mg Mag chloride, 350mg Krill Oil, Milk Thistle, ProbioticFor nausea as needed: Zantac, 300mg only "as needed". Zofran 4mg for nausea; only take it when nausea is unbearable or phenegran.Xanax, 3 mg in 4 split doses, 2008-present Lexpro: 2002 - March 2016: 20 mg; Mar-Apr 2016: 8 week taper 20 mg - 10 mg; 8-June 9mg; 13-June 10 mg; 11-Sep 7.5 mg; 25-Sep 5 mg; 5-Oct 10mg; started taking Liquid Lexapro in Nov 2016; started taper with liquid 1-Jan-17 9mg; 22-Jan 8.1mg; 22-Feb 7.3 mg, (horrible nausea); 30-Mar, updosed to 7.6 (1st morning, not as much nausea, hopefully it will get better); nausea was brutal; 6-April, updosed to 7.9mg, hoping nausea will let up; nausea stopped on 14-April for 2 days so far; 17-April nausea started back up :( stopped supplements on 10-April

Levothyroxine
50mcg 18-April for hypothydroidism Stopped by dr. on 20-April too many side effects, going to try again in 6 months

#781 AliG

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:22 PM

Catnapt. This is wonderful !  Feeling like yourself even for a short time shows what is possible long term.

 

There is a tendency when feeling better to do far too much in an attempt to make up for lost time. I know from experience this can be a trap and it's so important to pace yourself. If you push too hard it can sometimes send you into a wave so just try to keep that in mind and as you know listen to your body.

 

Like you, I can't exercise late in the day as it seems to get me too revved up and sleep suffers.

 

It sounds like you are enjoying life again and that's fantastic. :)


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#782 catnapt

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 05:39 AM

SJ, Frogie and AliG, thanks so much for your kind words.

 

I will def be careful not to over do things. It is tempting after having been unable to live a normal life for so long but I don't want to end up in a bad place, so I'm trying to pay close attention to my body and trying to keep things balanced. It's not easy but it'll be worth it in the long run, I think.

 

yesterday was nearly as good as the day before! just had a bit of an emotional spiral in the morning, but nipped that in the bud (my AC arrived with a damaged part and the customer service at the store I got it from was far less than helpful)


If I slept better, I'd think I wasn't in WD at all any more, that's how good things have been. My sleep was better last night, but still not even close to a decent restful night's sleep. I know that will come in time, so I'm not stressing about it ;-)

I've cleaned up my diet even more and am eating a higher percentage of very high nutrient foods, and that seems to help too.

No more cheats on foods that aren't good for me. It's really paying off in the way I feel, so I'm going to stick with it!!

 


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#783 catnapt

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 07:47 AM

well those super good days were nice, now back to days where I can't complain but nothing special, you know, just "regular life". LOL 

I still feel like I'm in WD, though. I think this is stable WD normal, not what I can expect when the process is over. Or maybe it is, I don't know. It's all so new!!

 

 

anyway, with things going so well, I decided to risk going down from 0.2 to 0.19

 

I checked with the dosage calculators and assessed previous cuts, and it's still within the 10% range per 28 days that's suggested.

 

(but I'm doing cuts mostly based on symptoms)

 

I've had a tiny bit of extra anxiety esp in the morning, I've had a tiny bit of DP/DR but only if I'm feeling stressed. Sleep continues to be rocky, I've had a few good nights but most of them are broken sleep, but still feels like "enough" sleep, at least most of the time. Very tired today but it's a cold dreary damp day, so that's probably why.

 

Overall though, things are going well.

:)

My foster rats were adopted and so I brought home a new little girl that I adopted. I didn't expect it to be so hard to say goodbye to the fosters!! I burst into tears when they left. But I recovered fast. I didn't want to go home empty handed but didn't want to go thru having to give up fosters again right away, so I adopted the little girl.

  The family that adopted the boys seems really nice, so I'm not worried about them, I'm sure they'll do just fine. I miss them though!


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#784 doggiemama

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 08:02 AM

Cat I know just how you feel once a animal comes into my house I just can't let them go. At one time I was feeding 16 family's dogs just coz I could not see them going hungry. I've never had rats but I'm sure they cute and I've heard they clever. GOD luck with the taper , wish I had know decided to c/t.

#785 doggiemama

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 08:02 AM

Cat I know just how you feel once a animal comes into my house I just can't let them go. At one time I was feeding 16 family's dogs just coz I could not see them going hungry. I've never had rats but I'm sure they cute and I've heard they clever. GOD luck with the taper , wish I had know decided to c/t.

#786 catnapt

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Posted 23 May 2017 - 04:16 AM

random notes and observations:

 

**after jumping off at 2.5mgs last May, I managed to get thru June, July, Aug and part of Sept "ok"- that is, I wasn't aware that anything was wrong and didn't "feel" like I was in Wd. However, I have almost no memory from that period of time. I have photos but I can't relate to those photos at all. It's like a huge chunk of my memories just evaporated. I also don't have memories for other periods in the past when I was doing too fast tapers.

I wonder if this is a common WD thing....?
 

**not having the cortisol spikes and excess adrenaline is nice. however, those must have been giving me the energy to keep going, in spite of very little sleep. now, without the adrenaline and anxiety etc, I am feeling very tired (still not sleeping well, have only had a handful of good nights, the rest of the time I cobble together a couple of hours here and there and when I'm lucky, may be getting 5 hrs total)

so getting out to walk or just do stuff around the house takes a lot more effort and determination. My body sometimes does not want to move at all LOL

 

**so much has changed, that I often feel disoriented. Many of the changes are either neutral or good ones, so I'm not complaining, mind you, just observing that even good change can be difficult.

 

 

**when I'm tired, I try to control things more than when I'm not feeling as tired. I get more attached to certain outcomes, rather than letting things just happen, just unfold.

 

**I am tired most of the time recently, so I am finding that I need to look into ways to accept things as they come LOL

 

 

that is all for this morning.

 

sending good wishes for healing and happiness to everyone,


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 






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