Thanks for stopping by my thread and sharing you experience with Celexa!
Just want to say hi. I'm so happy for you getting peace with thes evil drug at the current time. Lexapro is the most potent ssir of all and I am very impressed you got down from 40 to 2.5. It seems lex is not too evil to your body. I hope your further taper is smooth.
I am going to be following your thread as we're dealing with the same evil lexapro, grrrr Hopefully we can share ways to cope!
oh don't be too impressed by my steep drop on dose, Lex- I might be doing a lot better if I'd known about the right way to taper, I dropped from 40mgs to 30mg and then very quickly down to the 2.5mgs where I am now. I was a mess, and am staying at 2.5mg for awhile now til things settle down
I still have some pretty bad days or parts of days, I just don't post about them.
I had a really bad day yesterday, ended up seeing a doctor which only made my day worse. Don't really want to talk about it right now (it was for a physical issue, a painful lump inside the bottom of one foot- I don't know why I bothered, he didn't know what it was but said it'd probably go away. I hate drs)
sorry this is not my usual upbeat post. I need some time to shake off the almost "dirty" feeling, the feeling of being contaminated, after being in a drs office
that sounds so over the top silly but honestly, that is how I feel. My chart is full of crap about me being a "difficult" patient and I can't go anywhere without that info following me- you can't see another different dr anywhere without giving them access to your past medical records
so I am treated like crap no matter what.
and what was it that got me labelled difficult? I had withdrawal symptoms and had NO idea that is what they were. I thought I had some serious rare disease. I was scared, I was falling over from dizziness, my vision was (and still is) terribly affected, I have days when I can barely see anythign at all,
I had pains and horrible chills and then hot flushes (still do, just don't want to dwell on them) I had what I thought were panic attacks, now I think they may be those cortisol spikes, I need to read more about that.
I had severe hypersomnia ON the lexapro, and going off it, i have severe insomnia, rages, irritability, my ears ring like crazy, the whole nine yards.
having a day!!
I hate the drug companies, the doctors who blindly follow what the drug companies tell them.......I hate that this is happening to so many people
I hate that I have zero trust for doctors, or even dentists, eye drs etc. I feel like every where you go, someone is trying to get money from you to benefit them and to hell with what it does to you. To hell with the fact that you're living at 25% BELOW the federal poverty level in a state where the cost of living is actually 13% or more above the national average.
oh, hell I'm into it now, I way as do a bit of a vent/rant about a different Dr situation:
I saw a cardiologist, an EP, the doctor who does ablations for afib patients. (this was a couple of months ago, not recently)
I have afib, and of course joined support groups for ppl with afib
The gold standard, supposedly, is that you want to prevent damage to your heart so you try to get an ablation as soon as you can, otherwise your afib will only get worse (I am WAY over simplifying this for time constraints)
so I ask the EP why no one has suggested an ablation for ME? (I actually know why, the operation is very expensive, my insurance only covers truly medically NECESSARY surgeries)
so I wanted to see how it is that so many ppl in my international afib groups believe that their ablations are MEDICALLY NECESSARY, as THEY are being told
so this EP I saw,
he tells me it's the LAST resort and honestly, he says, like it's a secret between the two of us, honestly, having an ablation is JUST a "quality of life" issue.
It's a freakin $100,000+ operation! It is what he does day after day after day
and he's telling me that basically no one really "Needs' an ablation, it just improves their quality of life but has NO impact on their longevity nor the potential complications of the condition that the ablation is supposed to treat, and actually, ppl are being told, ablations CURE afib. heh yeh, really???
But This is what he is telling me.
NOW he knows I have medicaid and medicaid is NOT going to pay for an ablation, it's just too expensive. they have to prove to the state that oversees medicaid that there is no other way to treat my afib, that is not just as good. he has to be able to say that an ablation is medically necessary.
so I don't know, did he think he was just letting me down gently? cuz he knows I'll never get one, so he's trying to make it sound like an ablation is a kind of a waste of money?
did he not hear me say that I belong to SEVERAL world wide Afib support groups? did he not realize that I would go to my group and say, good news,everyone save your money!! I saw my EP and he says that ablations aren't gonna cure you, that they only improve your quality of life but you dont REALLY need one, cuz you'll be just fine without this massively expensive and often painful and risky surgery?
he did back track just before the end of the visit, blurting out, well it IS what I do every day (ablations) so I'm not saying they're a bad thing.........
and he trailed off, presumably because he finally realized his mistake......
and oh yes I immediately told the members of the afib groups that I've got an EP that says there's NO research that shows that ablations impact survival rates for ppl with afib
so save your $$ (most ppl still have huge copays or deductibles or have to pay a large percentage for this surgery, which often needs to be REPEATED to "take")
i hate doctors!
the profit motive is making it an adversarial relationship- that's the way I feel
I feel like I'm going to see the enemy, someone who only wants to relieve me of any money I might have, and nothing else
relieve the pain in the bottom of my foot?? (back to that dr yesterday, sorry to switch mid vent LOL) hell, he didnt' care. he had no ideas. He only say that what I came up with to try to help was not a good idea, but could not offer anything better
jack asses, they are all jack asses
I had a very bad day yesterday. today is not starting out too great but I'm going to try to focus on the good things
THE SUN IS OUT! I LOVE THE SUNSHINE THESE DAYS. the rest of the week is supposed to be snowy and cloudy so I am gonna go out and soak up the sun.
with my boots and my winter coat on of course, it is winter here lol
1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs
2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs
June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015: found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs
Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.
Oct 26 2016 reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves
Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)
Jan 12 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15
Jan 26 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia
March 1 insomnia got worse, back down to 0.29 for one day, then 0.27, then 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24
March 7 added low dose lamictal, titrated up to 25mgs March 25
vit D-3, Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, valerian root, L-theanine