Vigor: Paxil WD hell

[Vigor]

Hello,

 

Altostrata told me to make a topic literally a minute ago, so I am opening up for help. I am going through a really rough time right now and really don't know what to do. 

 

I was prescribed Paxil CR in a rehabilitation facility at the age of 18. Previous to this I had suffered with OCD, panic attacks and depression. While in the facility people told me I seem depressed and should see a psychiatrist. I was taken to the office, and after what felt like a 10 minute consultation was given a script for Paxil CR. After being discharged from the facility I was put on 20-30mgs of generic Paxil. I stayed on that for 11 years and have recently gotten off. I did a one month taper using Prozac. I know this is a incredibly fast taper given the amount of time I was on the medication. But I really did not know any better. I have been off of it for 6 months now in total. I tried to resume Paxil recently but only for a day or two. I was hit with very bad side effects and it scares me to try again. So I am trying to fight through and hoping this gets better.

 

I have tried to get off this drug 3 times in my past. Once at 22 where I did it cold turkey, I did not know about the withdrawal. I was hit with crying spells and depression like I had never known previous to the medication. I reinstated after a couple weeks. I then proceeded to try again at age 26 and was hit with the same symptoms, reinstated again. I am now 29 years old and fighting to stay off this drug. I have a lot of regret for having started this "medication". I can't believe it is even used in that term it feels like poison. In my time using the drug I felt emotionally numb and indifferent to all normal feelings. 

 

My childhood dog passed away at the age of 21, 3 years into my treatment with Paxil. I could not cry maybe one tear came out and I felt like I had to force that. I had a lot of anger issues. Where I felt like it was the only emotion prevalent during my time with Paxil. I have ripped doors down in my own home with my mother, punched walls etc. 

 

During my stint trying to get off Paxil at age 26 and shortly after resuming it. I was put into a psych ward, their plan of action was to drug me with a bipolar medication known as Depakote. I asked why they were forcing me to take this? The response was that every person needs to be on an anti psychotic. They also made me up my dosage of Paxil to 30mgs, at the time I was on 20mgs. I was in there for a week and was discharged Christmas eve of all times. I took my self off the Depakote immediately, I did not have any withdrawal from that. It was probably because of the short time I was on it. 

 

I am a 29 year old man who is living at home with his mother. My drive and hope for a better tomorrow is shattered. I read Dr. David Healy's website where people are not getting better after 6 years off SSRI's. My main symptoms are overwhelming depression and anxiety. I have crying spells for hours on end. During my time on Paxil I never cried like this I was a robot. I have incredible guilt wishing I never took this medication if I knew what I know now. I feel like that is preaching to the choir, I know all of you must feel the same. I have got on my hands and knees and prayed to let me go back and say no to Paxil at that initial psychiatrists meeting. I am flooded with thoughts thinking that my brain and body is permanently damaged. It has driven me to have intense suicidal thoughts. 

 

As I was 18 when initially prescribed I thought I had damaged my body's physical development. I was a late bloomer so that is a thought that I am bombarded with. One person on this site who has tried to help me and I thank him so much is Irishwill. We have messaged back and forth and he has reassured me I am OK. I still have that guilt though of wishing I never took this drug, I would do anything to change that decision. I know that cannot happen though. I am trying to stay away from horror stories, but with this condition they become prevalent. I am hoping my body can heal, but it's hard when my mind is so in the negative.

 

I really want to say to all of you I have never met you personally, but I feel I have a bond or kinship with all of you. I am sorry any of us have to go through this. I know we all thought these drugs were meant to help us. I want to have a life, I want to smile I want to be happy. I am really scared my body and brain are beyond repair because of my 11 years on this poison. I recently saw a therapist I have known since I was probably 13. I told him all of what I am saying to you now. His response was to try another medication. He believes in the famed chemical imbalance theory. I think we all know these drugs cause that imbalance. I don't want my entire life story to be one of suffering. I want to be able to do things other people do.

 

I don't want to ramble on here, because I can go on and on. I hope all of you find healing I really do. One thing this experience has given me is a huge amount of empathy for anyone suffering with any illness, medically induced or otherwise. I look forward to your comments.

 

 

Thank you,

Edited July 19, 2016 by scallywag
tags added

[Rachelina]

Hello from another one devastated by Paxil, although I am still on it. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Do avoid reading the horror stories; they are the exception. Read success stories instead (there is a whole section here devoted to them). You're only six months off and most of your healing is still ahead of you. What you're feeling is totally normal, and will gradually improve as time goes on. Reading your post I'm struck by how intelligent, articulate, compassionate and thoughtful you seem, and I feel certain that you're going to be able to create a beautiful life for yourself. Your choice of user name also points to a belief in your own strength and capacity for healing, and that is so important, that is half the battle right there. The other half is time. Anyway, welcome to SA. You will find a lot of great support here and a lot of inspiration for your healing journey.

[KarenB]

Hello Vigor and welcome to s/a,

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us - such a lot of pain for a person to bear alone.  It's good to share it. 

 

At 6 months out from your last dose, reinstatement would indeed be iffy.  However it's worth reading about the pros and cons to see what you think.  You can come back to this thread and discuss further here.   

 

When you recently tried reinstatement but got too many side-effects, how big was that dose?  It's possible it was too big.  Reinstating at a very low dose is sometimes all a person needs to find relief.  So it could be worth another shot, especially with the state you are in. 

 

I hear you about your fear of permanent damage.  I believe our brains and bodies are continuously working towards healing, because that is what everything in nature does.  Reading about neuro-plasticity or watching some you-tube vids may give you reassurance about that.  We humans have a lot more strength and capacity for healing than we think.  Meditation is especially good for resetting our ideas and for providing the conditions needed for brain healing.

 

You sound like a strong person - I bet you will start to move along this healing path, building strength as you go.  In fact you've already started by sharing your story and your dreams for your future. 

 

It's good to have you here,

Karen

[SquirrellyGirl]

Hi Vigor, 

 

Your story brought tears to my eyes, because of the hopelessness you feel about the future and healing.  Indeed you are not alone in your feelings, the fear and guilt and regret.  I'd been on ADs 19 years before trying finally to come off.  Imagine all that you are feeling but at the age of 50!  Talk about regrets!  

 

I have run the gamut of the stages of grief, and sometimes return to anger and regret and begging to be able to hit the reset button and go back to that time before my first Prozac pill.  I totally get where you are at right now!

 

The fact that you have discovered empathy for others who suffer is a beautiful consequence of this situation we find ourselves in.  I find myself no longer judging others, or myself.  We did the best that we could for where we were,  at that point in time, and for that there should be no more guilt.

 

I try to remind myself that there are so many people in this world suffering so much worse than us.  And there are people who by outward appearances have it worse than us and yet they don't see it that way, venturing forward with a spirit that allows them satisfaction with their lives.  I know it is hard for us to have perspective in part because of the imbalances that cause us to think these thoughts, and that is hard to escape.

 

I always point to Monica Cassini and Baylissa Fredericks as people who persevered despite coming from a very bad place with psych meds, so disabled and yet able to heal tremendously.  Like the soldier who lost limbs in combat or suffered a traumatic brain injury,  we must pick ourselves up and forge ahead.  I think we will end up better people for having been through this, somehow.

 

You will find people here speaking of Acceptance;  It really is the path back to inner peace.  

 

SG

[Vigor]

Hello from another one devastated by Paxil, although I am still on it. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Do avoid reading the horror stories; they are the exception. Read success stories instead (there is a whole section here devoted to them). You're only six months off and most of your healing is still ahead of you. What you're feeling is totally normal, and will gradually improve as time goes on. Reading your post I'm struck by how intelligent, articulate, compassionate and thoughtful you seem, and I feel certain that you're going to be able to create a beautiful life for yourself. Your choice of user name also points to a belief in your own strength and capacity for healing, and that is so important, that is half the battle right there. The other half is time. Anyway, welcome to SA. You will find a lot of great support here and a lot of inspiration for your healing journey.

 

Thank you for your kind words Rachelina. I am sorry you are also going through a rough time with your Paxil experience. The funny thing is I did not intentionally pick this name. I had to think of one on the spot and it just came to me. I will fight and move forward, I just wanted to be as honest as possible in my introduction. If I don't tell the true story I cannot get help.

 

Hello Vigor and welcome to s/a,

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us - such a lot of pain for a person to bear alone.  It's good to share it. 

 

At 6 months out from your last dose, reinstatement would indeed be iffy.  However it's worth reading about the pros and cons to see what you think.  You can come back to this thread and discuss further here.   

 

When you recently tried reinstatement but got too many side-effects, how big was that dose?  It's possible it was too big.  Reinstating at a very low dose is sometimes all a person needs to find relief.  So it could be worth another shot, especially with the state you are in. 

 

I hear you about your fear of permanent damage.  I believe our brains and bodies are continuously working towards healing, because that is what everything in nature does.  Reading about neuro-plasticity or watching some you-tube vids may give you reassurance about that.  We humans have a lot more strength and capacity for healing than we think.  Meditation is especially good for resetting our ideas and for providing the conditions needed for brain healing.

 

You sound like a strong person - I bet you will start to move along this healing path, building strength as you go.  In fact you've already started by sharing your story and your dreams for your future. 

 

It's good to have you here,

Karen

 

I left this part out not on purpose but forgot to tell the whole tale. I reinstated with 30mg of Paxil at that time. Since my memory was a little foggy I took another dose at night. So I hit myself with 60mg in one 24 hour period. I was left with a serotonin surge I guess you would say. I was up for 50 hours straight with a heart that felt like a jackhammer, also running a low grade fever. I don't know why I did not go to the ER, but my trust with doctors has been diminished. I survived it, it has been one month since that experience. I also only started to have withdrawal symptoms 3 months off any SSRI. But I have read that is a pretty common thing, we feel OK for a bit, but that time bomb goes off.

 

I also have to believe I can heal, thank you for your links.  I hope you are doing good with your tapering and look forward to speaking with you again. I don't know if I want to reinstate my only symptoms right now are:

 

-Depression

-Anxiety

-Headaches

-Panic attacks in the morning or during the night, I have read this is due to a cortisol surge.

 

These symptoms are not fun because they feel exacerbated because its W/D related.

 

Hi Vigor, 

 

Your story brought tears to my eyes, because of the hopelessness you feel about the future and healing.  Indeed you are not alone in your feelings, the fear and guilt and regret.  I'd been on ADs 19 years before trying finally to come off.  Imagine all that you are feeling but at the age of 50!  Talk about regrets!  

 

I have run the gamut of the stages of grief, and sometimes return to anger and regret and begging to be able to hit the reset button and go back to that time before my first Prozac pill.  I totally get where you are at right now!

 

The fact that you have discovered empathy for others who suffer is a beautiful consequence of this situation we find ourselves in.  I find myself no longer judging others, or myself.  We did the best that we could for where we were,  at that point in time, and for that there should be no more guilt.

 

I try to remind myself that there are so many people in this world suffering so much worse than us.  And there are people who by outward appearances have it worse than us and yet they don't see it that way, venturing forward with a spirit that allows them satisfaction with their lives.  I know it is hard for us to have perspective in part because of the imbalances that cause us to think these thoughts, and that is hard to escape.

 

I always point to Monica Cassini and Baylissa Fredericks as people who persevered despite coming from a very bad place with psych meds, so disabled and yet able to heal tremendously.  Like the soldier who lost limbs in combat or suffered a traumatic brain injury,  we must pick ourselves up and forge ahead.  I think we will end up better people for having been through this, somehow.

 

You will find people here speaking of Acceptance;  It really is the path back to inner peace.  

 

SG

 

Hey SquirrellyGirl,

 

I have cried reading multiple stories on this site both with introductions and success stories. The one story that really made me tear up was Irishwills. That was one of the first posts I read on here. I have been lurking for about a month, I was nervous to open up. I am a very reserved person, but the people close to me I am always there for. I think you are incredibly brave to get off these drugs after 19 years. Your age has nothing to do with it, at any time this is a fight.

 

I know that feeling of anger and regret and guilt all too well. It is in my mind constantly to where I obsess over it. I am hoping in time this will fade, because honestly there is nothing I can do about it. All I have is today and I will do the best I can. I feel good about myself making my introduction, no one knows better than people on this site about these drugs and their effects. I guess I will end this post with this quote that has helped me, I hope it can help you too.

 

You did then what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.” – Maya Angelou

[KarenB]

Hey Vigor,

 

you should put that quote in your signature - what a beauty! 

 

60mg was a pretty big whack.  When usually recommend reinstatement at a low dose - perhaps 2-5mg - and see how it goes.  If you've had no improvements in the last 6 months then it might be worth a try.  If things are improving steadily then maybe not.   

 

I think that was a very good instinct not to go to A&E.  Might've ended up on more drugs...

[DLB]

Hi vigor, I have also been on Paxil for 11 years and tried to quit 3 times and after 3 months felt like crap. I was not on it at such a young age (35). Maybe you can get some hope from my story. I was put on this crap from a severe reaction to a antibiotic and like you I always dreamed of going back in time and pushing it away but the antibiotic reaction was so horrible and I didn't know it was caused by levaquin until it happened again. I tried the one month taper 3 times and it didn't work out too well then at ten years on I did a 15 month long taper and I'm not gonna lie, it was no walk in the park either. BUT, I am now 9 months off and doing well. My sleep is finally getting real good after 2 years of horrible sleep. Lots of things are getting better quick now. You have to believe you will eventually get through it because you will. I might add that for 95% of the time I was on it I was on 10 mg. Any questions you have, just ask or PM me. I can't tell you when I will get back to you because as I have gotten better I am no longer constantly on here but I still check it out every few days. You CAN do this , but it will be the toughest challenge in your life for a little while. Just ignore all the crap feelings and stay positive and just believe you can do it. Good luck.

[Vigor]

Hi vigor, I have also been on Paxil for 11 years and tried to quit 3 times and after 3 months felt like crap. I was not on it at such a young age (35). Maybe you can get some hope from my story. I was put on this crap from a severe reaction to a antibiotic and like you I always dreamed of going back in time and pushing it away but the antibiotic reaction was so horrible and I didn't know it was caused by levaquin until it happened again. I tried the one month taper 3 times and it didn't work out too well then at ten years on I did a 15 month long taper and I'm not gonna lie, it was no walk in the park either. BUT, I am now 9 months off and doing well. My sleep is finally getting real good after 2 years of horrible sleep. Lots of things are getting better quick now. You have to believe you will eventually get through it because you will. I might add that for 95% of the time I was on it I was on 10 mg. Any questions you have, just ask or PM me. I can't tell you when I will get back to you because as I have gotten better I am no longer constantly on here but I still check it out every few days. You CAN do this , but it will be the toughest challenge in your life for a little while. Just ignore all the crap feelings and stay positive and just believe you can do it. Good luck.

 

Hey DLB,

 

Thank you for your message. I can't believe the myriad of reasons they put people on these class of drugs. I am glad you are feeling better. I will also take your words of encouragement to heart. I have been off Paxil since mid to late August so 5-6 months. Using the Prozac method which I know in actuality is pretty stupid. Using one drug to get off another, but I did not experience the early W/D symptoms. Meaning I did not get the famous "brain zaps" I know all too well or flu like symptoms. So at this moment I am fighting through. I know people that ct have a rougher time than a slow taper, but I have never lasted this long. When the withdrawal initially hit me around late November or early December I was bedridden. You could have Dave Chappelle do a live show in front of my bed and I would stare right through him. 

 

Also I think it is great that you still come on here and show support to others. I know that most people after being free or functional from this drug induced sickness would want to separate. I want to get better, so that I can help others and show support. If this thing has shown us anything, it is that people rally together and help others in times of crisis.

 

All the best,

[Vigor]

I wanted to ask you all a question related to W/D. Even with my fast taper using Prozac I experienced none of the usual brain zaps. But one thing I do notice is I feel them mildly when I am in bed at night. Not anywhere near the extreme I have felt them in the past. I can't manipulate them moving my eyes back and forth like I did before. I know I am still early in W/D but I wanted to know if anyone experienced this? It only happens to me at night when I am in bed.

[Altostrata]

You are having brain zaps. There are lots of variations for these.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/
 

[Vigor]

Hey Everyone,

 

I have to keep you guys up to date with me. It is something I put off but it is important. It's almost 2am here and I am up. I cannot sleep more than 3 hours and this started a few days ago. I have Hashimotos Thyroiditis it runs in my family. I don't know if the antidepressant triggered the autoimmune attack. But since my mother and sister have it I would have probably gotten it anyway. So I am on thyroid medication I have been for about 6 years. I am noticing that my heart is racing lately, I think since I am off Paxil I probably need a decrease in strength. I have heard that around before and it seems feasible. 

 

The last few days have been rough constant crying and ruminating thoughts. I am going to have to start being proactive and not sit around for this to stop. I am thinking of a small reinstatement, I do not know if I will but it is on my mind. At this point in time I am taking one day at a time. I read the memoriam topic tonight, to be honest not the best thing to read in my head-space. I had no clue what it was until I opened it. I am so sorry to all those people that have lost their lives to this unnecessary bs. I prayed for each of them, I do not know where you go after this life. But I prayed that wherever they are they are in peace and loved.

 

I have been reading a book called many lives, many masters, it is a interesting read. I encourage you all to give it a look. It is about a woman with vast phobias seeing a psychiatrist. Now wait wait this woman is lucky enough to have a fear of choking on pills, so no meds. So he performs hypnotherapy and well she remembers past lives. I am a very skeptical person so I don't know what to believe. One thing that happens that is very interesting is a spirit connects with her. The doctor asking a question to her/the spirit, is told that we choose our circumstances in life as a karmic contract. Meaning supposedly we are here learning lessons, and Buddha always says "life is suffering". I don't know how you all feel about that, but I got some questions for the foreman upstairs on this life circumstance. 

 

Another story I read a couple nights ago in my insomnia mode is this 

http://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/edmonton-man-burned-in-accident-nearly-10-years-ago-says-he-wouldn-t-change-a-thing-1.1117535

 

It made me cry, the inner strength this man has is something out of Mount Olympus. 

 

 

I am having my usual ruminating wishing I never took the medication thoughts. If I see a movie or a date that preceded my start of Paxil, I go into OCD mode. I constantly put who I am as a person today in that situation wishing I can change it and that brings me pain. Its the acceptance that I am struggling with. The way Eckhart Tolle puts it is beautiful “Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ~ Eckhart Tolle 

 

It is so true but it something I am struggling with doing. One thought I have and I do not know if it is morbid or not. This life is not forever we are here for a very short time. When we live in our pain time slows down it feels like an eternity. I need to stop living in the pain and being in the matrix bullet time mode. The people that we have lost due to these drugs are a stone throw away from us in terms of time. I am turning 30 in March and I don't know where those years went. Not saying 30 is old, but I could be 70 tomorrow with how short of a time it felt like. What I am trying to say is please keep fighting I will, my thoughts now may be totally different tomorrow. I could be back in the f*&k life mentality, but right now I feel like I can fight. 

 

 

Thanks, love and light to you all.

[Altostrata]

Vigor, those symptoms can be from too much thyroid hormone. You may need to adjust your thyroid drugs.

 

Please do not click on links that may be upsetting to you.

 

It sounds like you are finding strength within yourself. This is a pursuit that will nurture you in years to come.

[Vigor]

Getting blood drawn tomorrow morning for my thyroid levels and few other hormones.

 

 

Crying a lot lately it is getting overbearing. I hope this is a sign of healing I do not know. Due to my thyroid medication being too high or W/D i'm averaging 2 hours of sleep a night. With that my appetite sucks and I have a constant headache that aspirin does not relieve. Have gone from 185-168 in the matter of a month in weight.

 

I will tell you what my blood work shows should be a week for the results.

[Altostrata]

Thanks. Could be too much thyroid hormone. You need to adjust this ever so often, particularly if you've made drug changes, they affect the metabolism of the thyroid meds.

 

What is your daily symptom pattern? You might keep notes of symptoms and the times they occur on paper for a while.

[Vigor]

Hey Alto,

 

Daily symptoms is a very constant medium grade headache. My ruminating thoughts, on and off crying bouts. The crying bouts are not everyday but when they do occur they are very severe. My sleep is also messed up.

 

The thing is I don't know with the sleep and headache if that is attributed to me being on too much thyroid medication or W/D. One thing I know for sure is I cannot reinstate Paxil. After being off for 6 months basically. The reason is not only the time I have been off, but while being on Paxil I need more thyroid meds and when off I seem to need less. I can't put my body up and down in the hormone department.

 

I have not taken any thyroid medication for 3 days now to get my heart rate down. My resting heart rate was 112 it feels like what it would be after running. I slept about 4-5 hours today which is double from where I was at. Now this was not all in one cycle I woke up on and off. I do not take Synthroid I take WP thyroid which is basically Armour thyroid. So the T3 in the medication can be very activating.

 

All in all I am trying not to play the victim anymore. My situation in life now is my situation, I cannot change the past but I can have a better future. I think isolation is the worst thing you can do when going through W/D. I thought if I stay in bed and rest it will stop I will get better. No, I need to get out and do stuff and not focus so intensely on only the withdrawal.

 

Thanks,

[Vigor]

Hey everyone,

 

I know I said in my last post I will not be reinstating. Well after 5-6 months I can't continue like this. I got my left over 20 mg script of Paxil, I cut the pill in half to 10 and then in half to 5mg. I will do this smart and slow. I have reinstated before after 3 months so I am hoping the 2 month difference will not be a big deal. I also did that 3 month on a full dose of 20mg. I going to call my doctors office tomorrow to get a script for 10mg because it will be easier to cut. Can someone please give me a gameplan on how long I will be doing this for? And how do i go about getting liquid paxil when i really need that low dose. Is this also too low of a dose for reinstatement? I really have no clue here.

 

I don't want to go back on this stuff I really don't. But the situation is what it is, I need to be able to function. I pray with all my heart i can beat this one day.

 

I could really use some words of encouragement if this is the smart and right thing to do. I am very nervous about doing this.

[SquirrellyGirl]

HI Vigor, 

 

I'm sorry you are having to cave, but at the same time you've got to do what's best for where you are at in this point in time.  Though the general rule is that after 3 months reinstatement is risky, I am one of those lucky ones - I reinstated venlafaxine (Effexor) after 10 months of hell.  I reinstated at the minimum effective dose of 37.5 mg (I think I tapered quickly from 75).  I felt a reversal of symptoms within an hour, as I was talking on the phone with my mom.  It was such a trip to feel the clouds parting as I was talking with her.  I had no side effects, either.  I guess my system was just really stuck after 12 years on the #$%^!

 

I am sending you hugs and positive vibes on this working for you as it did for me :-)

 

I think the pill splitting is not going to be a fine-tuned enough way to proceed with a taper.  You must stabilize for a good 6-8 weeks before you consider tapering again.

 

I have been weighing my ven beads with the Gemini20 scale, which is a pain.  I am focusing my taper efforts on mirtazapine and now making my own liquid.  

 

You can make your own liquid Paxil with water.  You will need oral syringes, probably a 10 ml and maybe a 3 ml to start.  Hopefully someone who is actually doing it will jump on to help.  

 

I ordered inexpensive graduated cylinders on Amazon, and you can get oral syringes on there as well.  The pharmacy may have these.  It's a matter of 1) having a way to accurately measure water in mls for mixing up a batch of a few days' worth at a time, having a way to crush the tablet into powder and having a way to measure your dose.  For instance, if you are aiming for 5 mg and using 20 mg tablets, then crush one 20 mg tablet and mix in 20 ml water.  You have a 1mg/ml solution so would take 5 ml.  So, a 5 ml oral syringe would do the trick.

 

I use these:  http://www.amazon.com/Teenitor-Quality-Centrifuge-30x115mm-Skirted/dp/B017GLK9PG/ref=sr_1_2?s=industrial&ie=UTF8&qid=1454637719&sr=1-2&keywords=50+ml+conical+tubes

 

Nice for mixing your bulk solution, with hash marks on the side for measuring your 20 ml of water.  There's more than you need in a bag, but they're pretty inexpensive.

 

These 5 ml syringes would work:  http://www.amazon.com/Pack-TSP-Slip-Syringes-needle/dp/B00EXXZSTI/ref=pd_sim_sbs_121_2?ie=UTF8&dpID=416LU48fmoL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR153%2C160_&refRID=0C6QVZMHX07S8AX4MZB7

 

I hope this helps, or at least gives you a place to get started.  For now, you can do the splitting until you get set up to do liquid.  Of course, if you can get the liquid Paxil from your doc, all the better.

 

SG

[KarenB]

Hey Vigor,

 

I'm thinking that 1mg would be a good place to start.  If no problems after a few days, try 2mg and then wait four days to a week to see if you stabilise.  When you find your stable level, you'll probably want to stay there for 2-3 months, taking your symptoms into account.

 

I've asked the more experienced mods to give a 2nd opinion - I don't want to put you wrong. 

 

Tips for Tapering Paxil has instructions for making your own liquid, or getting it from the pharmacy. 

 

I'm sure you know that there are no guarantees this far out, but it may still be worth a try.

 

Karen

[Fresh]

Please read our thread on reinstating here About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

[Altostrata]

Vigor, please read the links KarenB and Fresh gave you.

 

If you ask your doctor for a prescription, you might as well ask for Paxil llquid.

 

What have you done to resolve the question of your thyroid hormone dosage? It's going to make things very confusing if you adjust thyroid hormone and experiment with reinstating Paxil at the same time.

[Christian]

Vigor,

 

I reinstated after 6 months when my WD shifted gears to insomnia, fear, fatigue, constant anxiety and cognitive issues. I am one month into it. I am still not well but the anxiety has went from a 10 in volume to a 8 or 9. This allows me to run errands and but not good enough to work. That is my goal in reinstatement. To function. If you can function your half way home. What are your symptoms. Have any improved in the 6 months since you quit?  

[Vigor]

Thank you all for the responses,

 

I had my blood drawn but I don't know the results yet as far as my thyroid. I will talk to my doctor about liquid paxil, I will also read all the links you posted. Thank you all so much. I am not sure about the conversion from liquid to tablets. As far as mg to ml correct?

 

I literally just picked myself off my floor after intense crying. I had to call my sister just so I could have someone to speak to. I don't have many friends in my life due to them being all dependent on recreational drugs and alcohol. 

 

I don't want this to beat me I want to get through this so bad. I feel with all my heart we are meant to learn something from this. 

 

Again thank you all so much, You are all going through your own stuff and you take time to help me.

 

Also christian my only physical symptoms are headaches and sleep disturbances. My main symptoms are the ruminating thoughts, depression and crying. 

[Altostrata]

Vigor, when you get the liquid Paxil, ask the pharmacist to explain conversion from mL to milligrams.

 

It could be you are having Paxil withdrawal symptoms as well as symptoms of excess thyroid hormone.

[Vigor]

Hey,

 

I am on the 5mg now. I just want to ask is this just an introductory dose and then I will updose to maybe 10mg or 20mg? Or is this the dose if I feel stable on that I will start tapering down from in a few months?

 

I want to go very slowly, I don't want to do this again. So whatever you guys say I am doing it. 

[Fresh]

Hi Vigor ,  hopefully the 5mg will be enough to stabilize on.   The lower the dose the better , and less to taper in

the long run.

 

How did the first dose of 5mg sit?   Any noticeable differences yet?   Don't worry if there isn't - you can reassess the 

dose after 4 days.

 

[Vigor]

Hey Fresh,

 

So far no relief but also nothing bad either. It's just the same. So since I am not in a state worse than normal I guess that is something good.

[KarenB]

Yes - that is something good.  You are in the waiting game now, so just hang in there for a few days.  Are you keeping written symptom notes?

[Vigor]

Hey Karen yes I have a planner I started using a few days ago. It is a really good idea, thanks to Alto for suggesting it.

[Christian]

I'll be rooting for you Vigor as I reinstated at 6 months too! Keep us posted.

[Vigor]

Hey Everyone,

 

The reinstatement has not gone too well. It has revved up my anxiety past a point I am comfortable with. I will be going back to withdrawing how I was. I don't know how long it will take but I will not give up on myself. I am going to be taking a break from these forums for awhile. Maybe I will come back with an update in 3 months or so. 

 

 

I wish you all 110% recovery,

[SquirrellyGirl]

Vigor, I'm sorry to hear that the reinstatement didn't go well.  I'm rooting for you and hope that when you come back it will be to report that everything is going along well!

 

Hugs to you!

SG

[Fresh]

Hi Vigor ,  I respect your decision , but would like to suggest that maybe 5mg was too much.

Remember we talked about a tiny dose , and reassessing after 4 days?

 

You might want to continue with just 1mg.  If the 5mg made you too agitated , it's sensible not to continue.

If you can get this right , it may save you many months of suffering.

 

Please consider reducing to 1mg and giving it another go.

 

Sending you a hug through cyber-space ,  Fresh

[Christian]

Hey Vigor. I want to add that I remember prior to reinstating (after 6 months too) I had 3-4 very severe anxiety/fear episodes. Like I called my doctors, ERs, and psych wards looking for answers. It was after those attacks that I chose to reinstate. Though I still have a constant anxiety it's nowhere is bad at those that week. Remember there is also starting up anxiety with meds too. That takes a few weeks to stop. I suggest listening to Fresh and the others about trying a lower dose. Best of luck with your decision.

[Fresh]

Reprinted from private message without permission (13 Feb):

 

"Thank you, two days ago I had my first real night of sleep after 2 weeks of literally none. My tachycardia has also gone away. My heart is not pounding. Thank you for your message on my page when I was just about to throw in the towel with RI. You were the voice of reason, and I am happy I listened. I will update my page in a month, so now I am taking my internet break for a bit.

Thank you again,"

 

 

Lovely news ,  let us know how you're going whenever you want.

 

[Vigor]

Hey everyone,

 

Wanted to give an update on how I am doing. I am currently on 5mg of Paxil I am doing about a 10 to 15% taper rate. I reinstated on 10mg and I expect to be off by probably December 2017 but I will play it by how my body feels. I needed to take a break from here for awhile and kind of do my own thing. All my previous symptoms I had have abated and I am doing pretty good.

 

I don't have much to report other than that. I am working out and out of the house more, I know I need to push myself and not sit in that withdrawal mindset. I don't think withdrawal heals unless we do things that make us uncomfortable. I have been keeping a journal and write how I feel emotionally and physically everyday. I find this helps me a lot, I also don't take anyone else's journey and think of it as my own. I hope you are all doing OK, this forum has some of the most empathetic people I have witnessed on the internet. I will try to update more often.

 

All the best,

[SquirrellyGirl]

Hello Vigor - so good to hear from you!  Thank you for the update!  It is nice to know that you are doing well :-)

 

SG