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SkyBlue: Paxil taper


SkyBlue

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Thanks so much, Shep. I really, really appreciate it. 

Today appears to be a good day! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I feel like I'm Back in the Land of the Living. 

 

Definitely am practicing all my skills, meditations, exercises, reaching out to ppl (that one's tricky), and 

for sure hanging on. 

 

Sleep seems to be okay right now, but I am suspicious because I have sleep apnea. A sleep study last fall showed

no problems, but it's something I want to keep an eye on. 

 

I am grateful for your support! ! ! ! :) 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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I have these thoughts in waves too. When I am in a window I often write in my diary: "Remember this! This is the real you.". When I feel bad again I come back to the diary to be reminded.

Its always the drugs that contributes to waves. You WILL feel better. You WILL heal.

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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Thank you, Amy! (Sorry, I just saw this now.) I do something similar: I write journal notes to myself, post-it notes, and using the Voice Recorder app to make an audio recording.

 

 

After a 3 month hold … 

Currently doing roughly 10% a month, but doing the Brass Monkey Slide method, 

approx. 2% cuts once a week. I think this will be best, based on my sensitivity and time on the drug.

 

My tiny syringe from Denmark -- all the markings were rubbed off after only about two weeks.  

Surprisingly, the cheap 1 ml syringe from Target is holding up well. It is too microscopic to see the tiny lines so I use a magnifying class. Looking forward to getting to 0.5 ml which is a nice big line! 

 

(With the tiny syringe I was making 2.5% cuts; now with the Target syringe it works out to be 2% cuts, or 1/5 of 10%).

 

So I've made three 2.5% drops and it's been easier than one 10% cut (and much better than the 25% and 50% cuts!!! Grrrr).

I definitely feel some lightheadedness / weirdness / 

and am still dealing with recurring and unpredictable suicidal feelings, most unfortunately. But a) these are NOT related to the most recent 25% drop, and 

also B) my acupuncturist said that I was suicidal at the end of my last menstrual cycle (hope this isn't too much information!!). She said that taking chromium might help with this, since it might be related to blood sugar. 

 

Today is a good day! ! ! ! ! 

I will keep you all posted! Thanks for being here! :) 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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  • Moderator

Best of luck with the Slide Method.  It sounds like it's off to a good start.  It really is gentler than doing 10% all at once.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thanks so much, BrassMonkey! :) 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hi SkyBlue, just wanted to stop by to say thanks for your kind words on my thread  :)  Hope your taper is going ok and you're having more good days.

2002 - Prescribed fluoxetine 20mg for mild situational depression and anxiety. Over the years also briefly swapped about on citalopram, sertraline and venlafaxine during poop out. 2012 - Cold turkeyed fluoxetine. Within 3 months was suffering from aggression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia. GP put me back on tablets as I was 'relapsing'. I didn't know anything about WD then. Jul 15 - Wanted to quit fluoxetine again so tapered off (skipping doses) over 6 weeks under advice of GP. Aug 15 - Last fluoxetine dose end of August 2015. Dec 15 - Had my first real crash after discontinuing. Found this site. Aug-Dec 16 - Signed off work because of a herniated disc & severe sciatica. Prescribed diazepam (took for 6 days and got WD symptoms on stopping; nausea, morning cortisol spikes, anxiety, anger) and codeine which I was on for 4 mths. Can confirm - opiate WD is nasty but nowhere near as bad or prolonged as SSRI WD!
Withdrawal symptoms have included: extreme anger and irritability, lethargy, depression and weepiness, anxiety, stomach upsets, loss of appetite, excessive sweating, muscle and back pain, insomnia, cortisol surges, akathisia, inability to cope with stress.
Things that help: herbal tinctures (rose, lemon balm, chamomile and skullcap), seaweed baths & epsom salt baths, fish oil and magnesium.

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Thanks, keepinghope. And you're very welcome! :)

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi all, 

 

Greetings from the land of tiny reductions! 

 

It's going pretty well. I'm continuing 2% decreases about every week. 

 

The symptoms are similar to the more drastic cuts, but much less severe, and more manageable: 

 

- feeling intoxicated / slight dp/dr (severity: low. I can see it as dp, and it is much less scary, versus before with more drastic cuts)

- weird head feeling / waterlogged (severity: low)

- headache for a couple of hours a day (severity: low)

- lightheadedness (severity: low)

 

Pretty soon I'll do a hold to let everything catch up. 

I truly recommend this method! ! !  :)

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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I'm glad you're doing so well, SkyBlue. 

 

"The land of tiny reductions" sounds like a happy place.  :)

 

 

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Glad it's going well Sky.  Do make sure to take the holds and let things settle out.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks, Shep! It does seem to be. :)

 

Thanks, Brass! It's tempting to keep on going, so I appreciate your reminder to take holds!! :)

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi everyone,  

 

Just checking in. 

 

The micro, micro, tiny nano-decreases seem to be exactly what I need. Symptoms are manageable and include mainly:

 

- (new) feeling like I'm being stung by a bee, on my cheek. Then disappears. I think that is called a zap.

- at times some dp/dr. Very mild compared to when I was doing more drastic reductions. 

- awakening in the middle of the night (1 am, to be exact) in a rage and feeling suicidal. Bizarrrrre.

 

Possibly or possibly not related to or caused by withdrawal is periods of extreme depression to the extent of having suicidal thoughts, unrelated to my life situation and caused 100% by my brain. I am totally safe so that is not a concern. This has not happened before withdrawal. It is VERY clearly linked to my cycle and I am hoping to learn to predict when it will happen, and of course heal that.

 

However I am having windows like you would not believe. Windows where I am actually engaged in life instead of 

being held underwater by symptoms. I am so grateful for that. One thing that this whole experience has taught me

is being SO grateful for a "normal" day--normal ups and downs, this and that, just doing things and being in the moment.

 

I also read somewhere that the opposite of depression isn't necessarily happiness -- it's vitality. I LOVE that. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Trying not to think about how LOOOOOONG doing 2% cuts will take me. Then getting off Zoloft. 

 

Truly, truly, I need to take my own and others' advice: It takes as long as it takes. Holding is a blessing (Jancarol?).

Staying safe and okay is more important than any artificial, self-imposed timeline of becoming med-free.

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

 

I also read somewhere that the opposite of depression isn't necessarily happiness -- it's vitality. I LOVE that. 

 

 

I like that line, too. I think happiness is over-rated because it doesn't have enough depth, especially after all we've been through. We also need "meaning" and "purpose". That would solve a LOT of depression issues, I think. 

 

As far as waking at 1 am with rage and feeling suicidal, that may be a cortisol spike. There's a discussion about that in this thread:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/33-waking-with-panic-or-anxiety-managing-cortisol-spikes/

 

One thing that helped me was eating a bit of protein in my late night snack. That seemed to help keep my blood sugar regulated longer. And others list what helped them throughout that thread. Definitely worth a read. 

 

Since you've linked it to your cycle, at least you can tell it apart from your taper-induced symptoms, so that will help guide you in your taper. You're doing an amazing job of analyzing your symptoms and dealing with all of this. There's a very positive vibe coming through the pain, a sign of strength. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. So glad to hear you're having some great windows. 

 

 

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Thanks so much, Shep! :) 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Everyone, I am NOW ON 1 MG OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 

 

Just did the drop from 1.002 to 1 mg on Saturday. 

 

Wasn't sure if I would make it down to this level . . . And I have! 

 

Main symptom from this tiny dose has been very mild dp/dr, and at times feeling intoxicated.

 

Will be doing a 2-week hold at least while I am on a much-anticipated (and hopefully minimally-interrupted-by-withdrawal) trip to another state.

 

Thanks to all for your friendship and support! ! ! ! :) :) :)  :D  :D  :D  :D

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Congratulations SkyBlue on making it down to 1mg.  That's quite a mile stone.

 

(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hey SkyBlue. Thank you for the kind message on my thread. And congratulations on making it to 1mg, that is a huge milestone. 

Paxil 20-30mgs since 2004.

Three previous withdrawal attempts 2008,2012 and 2015 all cold turkey.

Reinstated 10mg February 20th 2016

3/20/16-9mg 4/5/16-8mg 5/5/16-7mg 5/25/16-6mg 6/25/16-5mg 8/7/16-updose to 6mg 9/7/16 5.5mg 10/10/16-5mg 11/10/16-4.5mg

One thing that helps me is to see your withdrawal process as your own personal journey. Do not internalize someone else's withdrawal as your own. 

  

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."  - Maya Angelou

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1mg!?!? HOw wonderful!!!!! Get it girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sep '18 - became pregnant  in late August, then on 9/5 insomnia/anxiety went THROUGH the roof. I tried a lot of things but here is what is current: 

Paroxetine: 6.2mg (began 9/5/18, and there was a new manufacturer of which I just found out 2 days ago) during the day

Olanzapine 7.5mg at night

Ambien: 5-10mg at night

Xanex: 5-10mg at night

Fish Oil: for prenatal things

 

  • Aug '18: Paroxetine 6.6mg, (30mg thyroid hormone, fish oil, vit D3, SBI protect, probiotic. Following AIP diet)
  • Mar '16: began taper from 20mg. Decreasing .75mg or less each month or more. Sporadically used Ambien &/or Trazodone for insomnia. 
  •  Sep'15: tried to come off slower. Used fish oil, vit D3, and regular exercise/healthy diet to assist. (Taper sched= 18mg for 60days, 15mg for 60d, 10mg for 30d, 8mg for 30d) At my 3rd week of 8mg in Nov '15, insomnia and panic attacks began. Back up to 20mg after a month of horrible withdrawal. 
  • Oct'12-Sep'15: 20mg Paxil
  • Sep'12: 1st attempt to get off, naively tried cold turkey per Dr. suggestion. Couldn't work for 2 months. Another Doc upped dose to 20mg.
  • Jun '09-Aug '12: 10mg Paxil for severe insomnia due to anxiety. Also took Ambien/Trazodone for sleep.  Other meds taken sporadically: Ativan, Abilify, Xyrem 

 

My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness. 

 

 

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You are a rock star!!! So happy for you!

40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding.....

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Everyone, I am now on less than 1 mg of Paxil! ! ! ! This feels very momentous. 

 

I am on... how many milligrams?… Hmm, I will update , but I'm doing the BrassMonkey Slide (™) and so I'm down about 2% from 1.0. I can just hear my wonderful brain going, "Ahhh, thank you SO much for holding, and for going so slowy." 

 

(I left for vacation and didn't see all of your wonderful responses until now. Thank you, Brassmonkey, Shep, Vigor, MegB and Jlynn!) 

 

Overall, things have been very good--especially in comparison to the dp/dr, cognitive stuff, and other severe symptoms I was having just a few months ago. I am still becoming quite depressed and "suicidal" (not actually suicidal-- I am safe and ultimately my life is worth living, but it feels that bad) at certain points in my cycle. I talked with a friend and she said cycle issues are VERY common in withdrawal. 

 

I have times where I feel hopeless, but tonight is not one of them. Tonight I am acutely aware that it is so vitally important that I am alive. I feel it in my belly. I am so grateful for it, and for all of you.

 

Fittingly, this song came on the radio today: The Beatles' Revolution:

 

"You say that it's the institution… 

well, you know,

you better free your mind instead!!" 

 

Hugs to all.

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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 Sky Blue.  This is so great !  I'm so happy for you. It is momentous and I hope you celebrate that. What an accomplishment. You add a lovely spark of joy that's infectious.

Keep it up , but please come back to write your recovery / success story. 

We need more.  :) 

Hugs,

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Thank you SO much, AlgiGintheHouse!!!! 

 

:) :) :) 

 

I plan on hanging around SA long after I am off the toxic meds… to be a ray of hope as so many have for me.

 

I am celebrating it! ! ! ! !

 

(Bc I'm going so slowly it will be a while before I'm off completely… And I also have to get off Zoloft … grrr… but there are definitely days where I can see the light!!!!)

 

Thanks again!!!

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hi SkyBlue-- Congratulations on breaking below 1mg. it's a really big deal!!!!! I found it to be a real changing point with steady and marked improvements.  WDnormal improved on almost a weekly basis.

 

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Skyblue I tried to do the same thing you are doing and it was great for 4 months. Actually I got down to 15 mg of paxil and 25 mg Zoloft. But then suddenly I started having severe anxiety, abdominal pain, nausea, gerd. I went down to 12.5 of Zoloft but had even more anxiety. I then realized I couldn't tolerate higher doses of Zoloft so I am now trying a Prozac bridge.

Update 8122017

Zoloft  2004. Effexor 2004-2006. Paxil 20 mg for 2006-2010. Ct 2010, bad effects back on, stable by 2011.  Poopout June 2015. Zoloft with paxil for a while, stopped Zoloft.

Sep 2016 paxil 16.2 mg alone(295 mg pill weight). Started tapering 11/14/2016.

Took off 1 mg pill weight(total pill weight of 20 mg = 365 mg and 16 mg is 295 mg). Went down 1 mg per week of pill weight so down to 291 mg by end of November. Starting getting anxiety issues starting since 12/10/2016. Hoping that a faster taper will help.

12/14/2016 - 15.95 mg (291 mg pill weight)

12/16/2016 -  15.83 mg (289 mg pill weight)

12/23/2016 -  15.67 (286 mg pill weight)

8/12/2017 -  15.34 (280 mg pill weight)

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I am currently doing 15 mg paxil and 10 mg of Prozac. So far I am good but I seem overstimulated, maybe too much serotonin. I judge this my when I work out, I sweat profusely, feel hot, sometimes even when it's nice out I feel hot and sweaty.  I'm not sure if I should wait 2-4 weeks to stabilize and then start weaning paxil at the brassmonkey method or 10% methods? any suggestions?

Update 8122017

Zoloft  2004. Effexor 2004-2006. Paxil 20 mg for 2006-2010. Ct 2010, bad effects back on, stable by 2011.  Poopout June 2015. Zoloft with paxil for a while, stopped Zoloft.

Sep 2016 paxil 16.2 mg alone(295 mg pill weight). Started tapering 11/14/2016.

Took off 1 mg pill weight(total pill weight of 20 mg = 365 mg and 16 mg is 295 mg). Went down 1 mg per week of pill weight so down to 291 mg by end of November. Starting getting anxiety issues starting since 12/10/2016. Hoping that a faster taper will help.

12/14/2016 - 15.95 mg (291 mg pill weight)

12/16/2016 -  15.83 mg (289 mg pill weight)

12/23/2016 -  15.67 (286 mg pill weight)

8/12/2017 -  15.34 (280 mg pill weight)

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altostrata suggested per Dr. Pry that you shouldn't stay on paxil/Prozac together for more than 2 weeks and that seems valid. I am thinking to stay on both for two weeks at 10 mg Prozac and 15 mg paxil and then taper paxil with the brassmonkey method but i'm not sure since I'm on Prozac too if that's too slow and maybe 10% is better so as to not get serotonin overload.

Update 8122017

Zoloft  2004. Effexor 2004-2006. Paxil 20 mg for 2006-2010. Ct 2010, bad effects back on, stable by 2011.  Poopout June 2015. Zoloft with paxil for a while, stopped Zoloft.

Sep 2016 paxil 16.2 mg alone(295 mg pill weight). Started tapering 11/14/2016.

Took off 1 mg pill weight(total pill weight of 20 mg = 365 mg and 16 mg is 295 mg). Went down 1 mg per week of pill weight so down to 291 mg by end of November. Starting getting anxiety issues starting since 12/10/2016. Hoping that a faster taper will help.

12/14/2016 - 15.95 mg (291 mg pill weight)

12/16/2016 -  15.83 mg (289 mg pill weight)

12/23/2016 -  15.67 (286 mg pill weight)

8/12/2017 -  15.34 (280 mg pill weight)

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I have times where I feel hopeless, but tonight is not one of them. Tonight I am acutely aware that it is so vitally important that I am alive. I feel it in my belly. I am so grateful for it, and for all of you.

 

Fittingly, this song came on the radio today: The Beatles' Revolution:

 

"You say that it's the institution… 

well, you know,

you better free your mind instead!!" 

 

Hugs to all.

 

 

This is beautiful, SkyBlue! I can feel your excitement as your dose gets lower and lower. Thank you for sharing it with us. Love the Beatle's song.  :)

 

 

 

 

 

(Bc I'm going so slowly it will be a while before I'm off completely… And I also have to get off Zoloft … grrr… but there are definitely days where I can see the light!!!!)

 

 

 

The skills you've learned while coming off Paxil are transferable to Zoloft. You've already shown you have the patience and the positive spirit that helped you with Paxil, so there's no doubt you'll do great with the Zoloft.

 

Sending healing vibes your way. 

 

 

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Thanks, everyone!!!
 

Brassmonkey, Thanks very much for the encouragement! :) I look forward to updating with steady improvements in "WDnormal." :)

 

Shep, Thank you as always! ! ! It is so important for me to hear that what I've done with tapering Paxil can also be applied to tapering Zoloft in the future. :)

 

Ravi, I think slow is definitely the way to go. I will try to stop by your thread. :) 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Saving a copy of BrassMonkey's excellent explanation of "WDnormal" and importance of going slow! 

 

brassmonkey, on 28 Jun 2016 - 8:47 PM, said:snapback.png

Just wanted to keep a copy of this here:

 

I see WDnormal as the overall baseline of where you are in general. The place you are when you're not feeling good, but you're not feeling bad. Sorta a rolling average of the past couple of months between the windows and waves.  Watching the level of WDnormal is a good indicator that things are improving.  Over time you should be seeing a raising of the standard for WDnormal.  So how you're feeling now is better than say six months ago. It changes very slowly but is a really good indicator.

 

 Many people have the idea that stability is feeling good again, when in fact it's feeling the same level of blah day after day with no big swings to the better or bad. When a person does a drop in dose there will be a corresponding increase in WD symptoms over the next few days.  These symptoms will resolve themselves over the following several weeks and return the person to a slightly raised baseline of discomfort. The time frame and severity are dependent on a huge number of factors and end up being unique to each individual.  But the pattern remains.  This is why paying attention to your WDnormal is very important.  It is also referred to as listening to your body.  After a drop in dose and the symptoms have resolved to WDnormal the person then should wait a couple of more weeks to let things really settle out (there are a lot of little unfelt changer still going on) before considering doing their next drop.

 

During that waiting time people may think that they're not doing anything and want to get on with it.  When in fact doing nothing is very proactive.  It's those little unfelt things that need to be finished up before the next step can be taken.  It's letting the glue harden, the paint dry, the cement cure.  The things that need to be complete before the path is safe to walk on again.  If these details are ignored then they start to pile up and compound each other, then somewhere down the line the foundation slips out from under us and the whole thing collapses.

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hi SkyBlue,

 

I wanted to say thanks for your urging the other day on BrassMonkey's thread to discontinue all supplements except fish oil and Mg. I did that this week (well, I'm still taking my probiotic, as well, but that's it) and am already sleeping better than I have slept in months. I also have recommitted to my choice of healthy eating style which is keeping my blood sugar stable, so undoubtedly, that is helping, too. 

 

Starting w/d on Tuesday. A little nervous. 

 

I have a similar issue to you - once I am successful getting off Cymbalta (ETA - minimum of 5 years), then I will still have to wean off Wellbutrin. Sigh. But one thing at a time. Like you said in your introductory post, my primary goal is to stay alive. Secondary goal is to get off these meds.

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Hi Austinine! Thanks for stopping by. You are very welcome! I'm glad you are sleeping better! And who knows, you probably will be able to return to some of the supplements in the future when your system isn't so sensitive. 

 

I think I borrowed the goal of "staying alive, and getting off these meds" from someone on this forum~ I love the way it's phrased because it emphasizes the most important thing first! It's so easy to want to go, go, go with tapering/withdrawal and that is where we get into trouble. 

 

So glad you are starting tapering on Tuesday! I'm subscribed to your thread so look forward to hearing how it goes! 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hi everyone,

 

Looking for help / encouragement on two things: 

 

1. Grrrrr -- went down another 2% last week, and started feeling weird/intoxicated/lightheaded/head swooshing and very slight dp/dr in the evenings. It's unnerving but I tell myself it's WD because it started on a dime right after dropping. So going to hold for a while until that clears up.

 

2. Mornings are so difficult. I've read that other people struggle with that. In the morning, I often feel hopeless, like I don't care if I go on living (which isn't TRUE -- just feels very true). As the day goes on it usually gets better. It is like dealing with two different realities, as I saw Jose (15 years is enough) wrote in his thread. 

 

Thoughts, hopeful comments? Thanks, friends. 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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P.S. I believe in being proactive, I'm working with my amazing therapist (CBT and some DBT) on separating from the thoughts. The thoughts aren't real -- just look at what I wrote a week ago about my life being important, and of course it is. I'm making a LOT of changes right now

and need to be gentle with / kind to myself (new concept!!!!!!).

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hi Skyblue-- it's a learning and growing process to say the least.  So many aspects to delve into and so many new things to try and make sense of, and all while our minds aren't close to functioning properly. So frustrating, but in the end so worth it.  Continue with learning about new methods and incorporating them into your life, they will serve your well.

 

(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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