SkyBlue

SkyBlue: Paxil taper

287 posts in this topic

Thank you, Brass! Hey, before I know it I will be traveling the world like a certain moderator I know! SA meetup worldwide!  :)

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That is my dream! To start travelling.  Anywhere.  I just want to get better and go :) Maybe one day we can all have a meetup :) 

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A meet up would be awesome!  ! ! And really something to look forward to. :)

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Posted (edited)

Friends, I am so happy to report that today has been a good day. A GREAT day. Being able to think clearly and be in the moment, enjoying this beautiful Memorial weekend weather. Sograteful so grateful so grateful so grateful. 

 

Enjoying being in the hammock; concentrating on some reading; even taking baby steps on a project I've been wanting to do: making a weighted blanket. I found and washed two blankets that I'll be using for that. I'll post more on that as well. 

 

Absolutely amazing that this could be possible today, when only yesterday I was in absolute terror; difficulty finishing sentences; intrusive memories; somewhat confused; slightly DP/DR; extremely worried; ocd-symtpoms; clumsy, super-exaggerated startle response; so tired almost falling asleep while out for a short walk; and waking in the middle of the night in an absolute rage and screaming and begging God to "please take me" -- and wake up and feel amazing.

 

I feel like a completely different person -- no, change that: I feel like myself

Edited by SkyBlue

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Collect those days, cherish them and believe that this is who you are and how life will be after drugs. I am so happy for you! <3

Hugs!!

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So glad you're having a great.  Like Amy says "cherish them" and remember them for the future.  There are plenty more coming.

 

((((((HUGS)))))

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SkyBlue,

 

So happy for your "hammock" day.  We all need a reminder of what life can be.  As Amy and Brass said, "cherish the moment."  

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Thanks, Amy! Thanks, Brass! Thanks, Gridley! 

 

I definitely do cherish those days. <3 I love the idea that there are more of them on the way. 

 

Hope you are all doing well! 

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Hey SkyBlue,

Thanks for cheaking in on me.

I'm happy you have had a good day and hope you have many more. I'm sure things are looking up for you. You are one brave lady.

Only going forward for both of us xxx

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Thanks Cheeky! (Sorry; this didn't come to my inbox so I'm just seeing it now).

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Hi friends, I'm heading to a family event right now and having pretty bad akathisia/rage. I wouldn't wish this on any person. I took a bunch of extra magnesium (that will probably make me feel sick later). Trying to stay in the moment. Any thoughts and well wishes would be awesome. Thanks.

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Well-wishes and calming vibes and Light are headed your way.  

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Think mindful thoughts, stay calm. You will have a better moment soon.

You will make it!

Hugs!

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Hi SkyBlue ! You can do it . Just remember to breathe and try to remain present . You will be surrounded by your family . You will be okay !

 

Hugs

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Watch for triggers and escalating emotions. Take lots of breaks to take deep breaths and regroup.  Be in the moment as much as possible and just let it happen.  The akathisia/rage is caused by the drugs, it's going to be there, accept it, ignore it and enjoy your family.

 

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

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Thank you, Gridley, Amy, Blondie, and Brass…. wonderful friends…. It passed! Thank you so much for your support and friendship -- I am lucky beyond measure to have such incredibly loyal and kind (and quick-responding!) friends. I took a break to look at my email and all of your messages were there! That helped me hold on, and the magnesium must have started kicking in because then I was pretty able to talk and connect with people. Came home, doing some light exercise and enjoying the absolutely beautiful sunny weather. Rage and wd are the furthest thing from my mind! ! ! ! HUGS to all of you! <333

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Well done!

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So glad things went well.

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Yay good job SkyBlue ! I knew you would be fine :)

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Collect those days, cherish them and believe that this is who you are and how life will be after drugs.

 

Sky. Amy put it so well. I agree and think you are doing brilliantly!  

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Thanks so much, Gridley, Brass, Blondie, and Ali! <333 I really appreciate the kind words. We have a lot to look forward to being free from these meds!!!!!

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Hi friends, 

Time for an update, and it's a good one.

Sat: daytime rage/akathisia--thanks for helping me during that. Sun--another episode of rage/akathisia. Mon: Pretty anxious.

But yesterday: after a.m. cortisol spike cleared, felt pretty engaged in the world, clear-thinking; grateful. A bit wary, overthinking, worried, but it was mixed in with gratitude, some good exercise, beautiful weather. By evening I didn't want to go to bed! Please don't let it be a Groundhog Day and this is erased! I did go to bed and today has been good so far.

I notice that as I get on lower doses, a bonus benefit is that I'm more able to use mindfulness strategies. 

I think the hold since March has been extremely beneficial. I will look at slightly reducing again in a couple of weeks. Calendar, you are not in charge of this. My body is, and it's been through a lot with this medication, so it gets to call the shots and we respect that. (Note to self: print this for when I freak out about timelines!!)

Hugs to all! <3

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I'm so glad you're getting a nice window, and right when there's nice weather to enjoy.  Do watch out for feeling "too good" sometimes a new window can cause hypomania, feeling great and wanting to do everything under the sun.  This can lead to burn out and a crash.  Enjoy the great feeling, but be careful not to over do things. I hope the window stays open a good long time.

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3 hours ago, SkyBlue said:

I notice that as I get on lower doses, a bonus benefit is that I'm more able to use mindfulness strategies. 

 

You're doing an amazing job with your mindfulness and I really enjoy reading your posts where you write about how it's helping you as you go through this journey. 

You're going to be a bit of a guru when you're off the drugs. Very nice update. :)

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6 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Do watch out for feeling "too good" sometimes a new window can cause hypomania, feeling great and wanting to do everything under the sun.  This can lead to burn out and a crash.  Enjoy the great feeling, but be careful not to over do things. I hope the window stays open a good long time.

 

Thanks, Shep! :)

 

Brass, well said, and well--I felt so great that I thought I would do a bunch of things including a workout class before going in to my (part-time) work today. And then at work I was feeling weird, wiped out, anxious, kind of dp/dr and I was like, what happened? Well, that's what happened. I read your post and was like, yep. Gotta be careful while enjoying a window.  It's 9 pm here and I'm heading to bed. :lol: G'night everybody!! 

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Sky,

 

Your posts are always a pleasure to read!  A good bit of exertion here driving to the airport to pick up my wife's friend, getting lost on the way and the way back,

and now having to act normal as a host for six weeks.  In some ways it's a good distraction, in other I want to to scream, "But I'm in WD!"  

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On June 7, 2017 at 9:25 PM, Gridley said:

Sky,

 

Your posts are always a pleasure to read!  A good bit of exertion here driving to the airport to pick up my wife's friend, getting lost on the way and the way back,

and now having to act normal as a host for six weeks.  In some ways it's a good distraction, in other I want to to scream, "But I'm in WD!"  

 

Thank you for the kind words, Gridley! (Sorry it took me a while to reply.) I hope the visit goes well. It would be awesome if WD was more widely understood! <3

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Hi friends, 

 

It's my birthday today and I've been enjoying a wonderful window this week. So wonderful that I worried that this was mania. Then I realized, I'm not manic; actually, this is what it feels like to feel good. 

 

I was a little worried about this birthday but someone told me life begins at 40! So let's go with that!!!!!! <33333

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Happy birthday SkyBlue !!!!! Wishing you an amazing day and weekend .  You are one wonderful person and deserve the best .  

 

image.jpeg

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Happy Birthday Skyblue.  You're just getting warmed up at 40. I'm so happy that you're having a nice window to celebrate. It's amazing the just feeling good is such an improvement that it feels like mania.  Pretty soon it will become the norm.

 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIRTHDAY HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

Brass

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Wow, happy birthday, SkyBlue! 

What a wonderful gift - a window! Enjoy it! ❤

Lots of hugs, Amy

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Awww... :)

 

@Blondie, thanks so much! Beautiful flowers! 

 

@Brass, just getting warmed up--I like that! Thanks for the hugs!

 

@Amy, yes, a wonderful present! Thank you! 

 

Thank you, friends! ! ! ! ! ! 

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Hi friends, 

 

an update: I recommenced tapering after a 3-month hold.

6/26 went from .82 to .8 mg. Two weeks later, 7/10 went from .82 to .8. 

 

I've had some days with dp/dr and some very (false) hopeless-feeling times. However I'm telling myself that

I was having that before the recent drop and that it seems pretty indistinguishable from that. 

 

 

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Hi Sky--  great to see that you've started your taper and it seems to be going smoothly.  I think there's a typo in your post about the dose amounts.  It looks like you did the same decrease twice in a row.

 

Brass

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Hi Brass! Thanks for stopping by. 

 

Oh, lord. Yes, I am having some dp/dr right now. So I didn't do the same drop in a row - lol! Thanks for pointing it out.

 

From .82 to .8, then to .78. I will update my signature when I get a chance. <3

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