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Odwina: What if paxil reinstatement fails?


Odwina

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Excruciating pain today. My whole upper body was riding in agony.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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Dear all,

 

Just had my 3rd sleepless night, 2 weeks after paxil reinstatement. I never has sleep problems before. I don't know if this terrible insomnia was not triggered off by the tryptophan recommended to me by a pharmacist. I only took it for 7 days, it is then that insomnia started. I read your thread, I would try melatonin as I am desperate, I cant sleep a wink, but can melatonin increase the effect of paxil I am currently on? 14 mg. Thank you 

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

Hello, Odwina. I moved your post here so it wouldn't get lost.

 

Please keep notes on paper about your drugs, their dosages, when you take them, and your symptoms.

 

You reinstated 15.2mg Paxil on Feb. 20, correct? Did your symptoms diminish? How long did it take for them to diminish?

 

At what time of day do you take Paxil? How do you feel in the hours after you take it?

 

Which days did you take the tryptophan supplement?

 

Yes, melatonin may help. Please start at a very low dose, 0.25mg, to see how it affects you. Take at nightfall and turn off the lights.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello, Odwina. I moved your post here so it wouldn't get lost.

 

Please keep notes on paper about your drugs, their dosages, when you take them, and your symptoms.

 

You reinstated 15.2mg Paxil on Feb. 20, correct? Did your symptoms diminish? How long did it take for them to diminish?

 

At what time of day do you take Paxil? How do you feel in the hours after you take it?

 

Which days did you take the tryptophan supplement?

 

Yes, melatonin may help. Please start at a very low dose, 0.25mg, to see how it affects you. Take at nightfall and turn off the lights.

 

Hello Alto,

 

First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to analyse my situation, I know how many people here need your support and expertise.

 

I have started today my real paxil diary, I haven't been very serious about it before but now I realise this is essential.

 

On 20 February I reinstated 14 mg, in fact its equivalent 7 ml liquid form as one day in the future I would so much like to be able to start a very slow tapering. (sorry, at one point I wrote 15.2 mg as I thought I had made a mistake when measuring with the syringe, thanks to God, I didn't make at least this mistake).

 

I took the tryptophan tablets like this: 1 tablet the evening before reinstatement (19 Feb) as I felt very bad, immediately after reinstatement there was a relief so I stopped tryptophan. Then, as I felt very bad I thought I should continue with tryptophan (which looked to me quite misleading, being with vitamin B6 and magnesium and being a food supplement without any leaflet, moreover recommended by the pharmacist, I didn't think for a minute that it might harm me). I retook tryptophan from Fri 26 Feb to Wed 2 March, so the very total was 7 tablets. During this time I had some terrible crises with symptoms I never had before (splitting brain, sensation of losing my sanity, excruciating pains) but it didn't cross my mind at all that tryptophan could be a culprit here. Terrible crisis on Mon 29 Feb, another one on Wed morning 2 March, Tue night couldn't sleep at all, I was very high during the night, overactive eyes. So it was on Wed that I start having some suspicions about tryptophan, I found then your tryptophan link on internet, asked for Petunia's advice too and she told me that not only tryptophan is very bad for me, augmenting the effect of paxil but also vitamin B6 is bad for withdrawal. Of course that I stopped immediately taking the tryptophan.

 

Then 2 more sleepless nights which made me a zombie and triggered another terrible crisis, the worst so far. At least about the insomnia I am now almost sure it was caused by the tryptophan, I have never ever had sleep problems.

 

But I was afraid that this tryptophan could have made this insomnia another withdrawal symptom to me on a permanent basis which would have been a disaster considering how weak I am now. I searched through your data basis and I found out your article about melatonin. But being now so much afraid of trying anything new while being still on the antidepressant, I made one more desperate try before starting the melatonin and wrote to my acupuncturist in Romania asking him if he can help me somehow. He was very kind, he sent me the points he uses for treating insomnia and as I have here some very tiny acupuncture needles, I put them myself (somehow....) and last night, thanks to GOD, I slept.

 

So I would say that last week was terribly misleading for me because of this tryptophan. However I could say that there is an improvement after the reinstatement. From now on I am going to make a very close monitoring of my withdrawal.

 

I take my paxil each morning at 9 am. Very interesting, today and also another day last week I noticed a worsening after taking the paxil, Today for instance I woke around 7.30, I was quite OK. At 9 I took the drug., then ​at 10 am I had floating head, I became very sweaty, I started having slight anxiety. But with my paxil diary I will be able to see in the next days if this is a pattern or not.

 

Starting with tomorrow morning I would like to combine the tablet form of paxil with the liquid form because in the next few months I will be away from France so I wont be able to get more liquid (I am trying to get now as much as I can but still not enough). So I will take half a tablet (I bought a tablet cutter for this purpose to be as precise as possible), so 10 mg + 2 ml liquid which means 4 mg, so 14 mg. Do you think I could have some adverse effect also because of this?

 

Thank you very much for all your help!

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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I woke up about 3 am, terrible tingling again, very sweaty, feeling very restless and unwell at the same time. I couldn't go to sleep anymore, it continued like this till the morning. At 9 am I had my 14 mg paxil dosage, after about one hour my situation worsened, I started having hallucinations. Still very restless limbs and body. Still very sweaty and tingly. The hallucinations stopped after about one hour and then I was just extremely tired, couldn't sleep and spent my day just laying around. I am feeling very drousy, like drugged.

 

I really do not know what is happening, I made the reinstatement 18 days ago, did I mess it up completely? Will my body ever stabilise somehow? Please help from somebody with more experience, I am losing courage. Yesterday a very poor day also, only on Mon it was better.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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What exactly do you mean when you say you started having hallucinations? Can you describe them?

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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What exactly do you mean when you say you started having hallucinations? Can you describe them?

 

Hello Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for asking me. Yes, seeing pictures and things in your eyes when they are closed.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

 

What exactly do you mean when you say you started having hallucinations? Can you describe them?

 

Hello Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for asking me. Yes, seeing pictures and things in your eyes when they are closed.

 

 

Please be careful not to overstate your symptoms. That is not hallucinating. That happens to me when I am sleep deprived, and it's not an uncommon WD symptom. You are very early in your reinstatement, but if you are having worse symptoms after taking your dose then maybe it's a sign it's too much. I wouldn't touch your dose until you are advised further though. You will get through this! It's just going to take some time.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

Link to comment

 

 

What exactly do you mean when you say you started having hallucinations? Can you describe them?

 

Hello Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for asking me. Yes, seeing pictures and things in your eyes when they are closed.

 

 

Please be careful not to overstate your symptoms. That is not hallucinating. That happens to me when I am sleep deprived, and it's not an uncommon WD symptom. You are very early in your reinstatement, but if you are having worse symptoms after taking your dose then maybe it's a sign it's too much. I wouldn't touch your dose until you are advised further though. You will get through this! It's just going to take some time.

 

 

Dear Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for your advice, it is really comforting me. Yes, today it seemed again a bit worse after taking the drug. But I have now a diary and I monitor myself very attentively. Of course I wouldn't touch my dose without getting the green light from the ones who know much more than I in this field.

 

Please tell me, ladybug, I just read your paxil history and I was so impressed with your patience and perseverance, I think you could be a real tapering model for me, with such a slow rate did you still have very annoying ws? Or was it bearable?

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

 

 

 

What exactly do you mean when you say you started having hallucinations? Can you describe them?

 

Hello Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for asking me. Yes, seeing pictures and things in your eyes when they are closed.

 

 

Please be careful not to overstate your symptoms. That is not hallucinating. That happens to me when I am sleep deprived, and it's not an uncommon WD symptom. You are very early in your reinstatement, but if you are having worse symptoms after taking your dose then maybe it's a sign it's too much. I wouldn't touch your dose until you are advised further though. You will get through this! It's just going to take some time.

 

 

Dear Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for your advice, it is really comforting me. Yes, today it seemed again a bit worse after taking the drug. But I have now a diary and I monitor myself very attentively. Of course I wouldn't touch my dose without getting the green light from the ones who know much more than I in this field.

 

Please tell me, ladybug, I just read your paxil history and I was so impressed with your patience and perseverance, I think you could be a real tapering model for me, with such a slow rate did you still have very annoying ws? Or was it bearable?

 

O

 

 

I'm glad I could ease your fears a bit. This WD is scary stuff but the bad times always improve eventually.

 

To answer your question, yes I do still have many WD issues despite tapering slow and I have hit a couple of rough patches along the way but overall it has been bearable. Everyone is different though, so don't assume you will experience as many issues as I have or have to taper as slow. I have hormone issues that I think are making WD much more complicated.

 

Some other long term Paxil users whose stories you might want to take a look at are Brassmonkey, GrandmaD and Songbird. Brassmonkey has been doing amazing with a 10% taper schedule and is almost off after 20+ years! Both GrandmaD and Songbird are my fellow turtle taperers. They are going as slow as me, and although they have had their issues as well, they are coping and forging ahead. You can do it too. :)

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Thanks for popping in and commenting in my intro thread Odwina.

I hope you can find some stability soon

 I agree with Ladybug the bad times always improve eventually.

 

You can do this.

Better days are ahead.

Just adding two other names to the legends list ...Mapleleafgirl and aberdeen.

oh yeah and caperjackie which reminds me she is due for an update soon ....from memory its the 5 yr update.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

Link to comment

 

 

 

 

What exactly do you mean when you say you started having hallucinations? Can you describe them?

 

Hello Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for asking me. Yes, seeing pictures and things in your eyes when they are closed.

 

 

Please be careful not to overstate your symptoms. That is not hallucinating. That happens to me when I am sleep deprived, and it's not an uncommon WD symptom. You are very early in your reinstatement, but if you are having worse symptoms after taking your dose then maybe it's a sign it's too much. I wouldn't touch your dose until you are advised further though. You will get through this! It's just going to take some time.

 

 

Dear Ladybug,

 

Thanks a lot for your advice, it is really comforting me. Yes, today it seemed again a bit worse after taking the drug. But I have now a diary and I monitor myself very attentively. Of course I wouldn't touch my dose without getting the green light from the ones who know much more than I in this field.

 

Please tell me, ladybug, I just read your paxil history and I was so impressed with your patience and perseverance, I think you could be a real tapering model for me, with such a slow rate did you still have very annoying ws? Or was it bearable?

 

O

 

 

I'm glad I could ease your fears a bit. This WD is scary stuff but the bad times always improve eventually.

 

To answer your question, yes I do still have many WD issues despite tapering slow and I have hit a couple of rough patches along the way but overall it has been bearable. Everyone is different though, so don't assume you will experience as many issues as I have or have to taper as slow. I have hormone issues that I think are making WD much more complicated.

 

Some other long term Paxil users whose stories you might want to take a look at are Brassmonkey, GrandmaD and Songbird. Brassmonkey has been doing amazing with a 10% taper schedule and is almost off after 20+ years! Both GrandmaD and Songbird are my fellow turtle taperers. They are going as slow as me, and although they have had their issues as well, they are coping and forging ahead. You can do it too. :)

 

 

Dear Ladybug,

 

Yes, this WD is indeed such a scary thing, this is why it is so important to get encouragement from time to time, to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Thank you for the other inspiration models you have given to me, I will for sure become a turtle taperer myself...

 

Best wishes for a very quick and easy recovery,

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

Thanks for popping in and commenting in my intro thread Odwina.

I hope you can find some stability soon

 I agree with Ladybug the bad times always improve eventually.

 

You can do this.

Better days are ahead.

Just adding two other names to the legends list ...Mapleleafgirl and aberdeen.

oh yeah and caperjackie which reminds me she is due for an update soon ....from memory its the 5 yr update.

 

Thank you very much, NZ11, for the 3 more names added to the "legend list". And your humour and strength are also a great source of inspiration for me! I already read more than 7 pages of your thread, so I know now a bit more about your own journey through hell. I also know you are not fully recovered but it is much better. I wish you a very quick complete recovery!!!

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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Dear all, please somebody with a lot of experience in reinstatement give me an answer, I do not want to complain, I simply do not understand, please tell me if this is normal symptom in withdrawal after reinstatement or it is severe reaction to the drug and I should do sth about the quantity: I woke up very early, soaked in sweat, ants crawling all over me. At 9 am I took my 14 mg of drug and after half an hour my brain felt floating. Then I suddenly felt a terrible panic-fear inside, just invaded the whole of me. It was the most incredible feeling of fear and panic, it's the worst panic and fear I have ever had, it was suicidal, I just wanted to end everything. It lasted like this more than 2 hours.

 

Please tell me what I should do.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Odwina , I remember how scary these episodes are ... try and remember these symptoms are temporary.

 

Waking in a panic soaked in sweat is part of the package , and tends to settle as you stabilize.

 

In  the past week , have have you had this reaction before after taking your a.m. dose?

Are you feeling any better since reinstating?   It's been 24 days , we'd hope to see some improvement.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Odwina , I remember how scary these episodes are ... try and remember these symptoms are temporary.

 

Waking in a panic soaked in sweat is part of the package , and tends to settle as you stabilize.

 

In  the past week , have have you had this reaction before after taking your a.m. dose?

Are you feeling any better since reinstating?   It's been 24 days , we'd hope to see some improvement.

 

Dear Fresh,

 

No, before I haven't had this kind of reaction before / after taking my am dose. And I can say that about 2 times before I could see situation worsening after taking my am dose.

 

Since reinstatement I can say I feel a bit better. But it is such a bit only. And the crisis today was so scary, and all the rest of the day was bad. Please tell me, if the improvement is very little only after all these days, what does it mean? Is somehow this reinstatement working? Shall I keep to this dose? I am very afraid as I feel like I am blindfolded and walking through a maze. Fresh, do you think my present dose can be kept as such? Do I not have adverse reactions? I would so much want to be sure and know that somehow I am going towards this stabilisation.

 

So many thanks,

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I've just read through your thread carefully , and I'm inclined to suggest holding where you are.

If you'd had a bad wave each time you took your dose , it might indicate the dose is too high.  But this is not the case for you ,

it's just a coincidence.

 

You've had a difficult time which was complicated by taking tryptophan for 7 days.   And yet , you report having some periods of feeling better , which is the sign of healing.   

Hopefully things will continue to improve.  Don't let the scary episodes panic you , they're another symptom that will come and go for a while.

 

Hang in there ,  please let us know which symptoms are less of a problem now , so we can keep track of what's improving.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Odwina,

 

Understanding what is happening can help you get through the scary times.

 

Fresh said:  "And yet , you report having some periods of feeling better, which is the sign of healing."

 

Try and remember this when you are going through a bad patch and tell yourself that it will pass.  I know it can be hard to do, but I believe it helps keep us calmer which means that the brain is able to do what it needs to do instead of being busy trying to deal with the stress of the additional panicking.

 

Have you checked out Dr Claire Weekes?

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

And this might be helpful too:

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Hi Odwina,

 

Understanding what is happening can help you get through the scary times.

 

Fresh said:  "And yet , you report having some periods of feeling better, which is the sign of healing."

 

Try and remember this when you are going through a bad patch and tell yourself that it will pass.  I know it can be hard to do, but I believe it helps keep us calmer which means that the brain is able to do what it needs to do instead of being busy trying to deal with the stress of the additional panicking.

 

Have you checked out Dr Claire Weekes?

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

And this might be helpful too:

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

 

Lots of thanks, Chessie, for you wise words of encouragement! O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

I've just read through your thread carefully , and I'm inclined to suggest holding where you are.

If you'd had a bad wave each time you took your dose , it might indicate the dose is too high.  But this is not the case for you ,

it's just a coincidence.

 

You've had a difficult time which was complicated by taking tryptophan for 7 days.   And yet , you report having some periods of feeling better , which is the sign of healing.   

Hopefully things will continue to improve.  Don't let the scary episodes panic you , they're another symptom that will come and go for a while.

 

Hang in there ,  please let us know which symptoms are less of a problem now , so we can keep track of what's improving.

 

Dear Fresh,

 

I have no words to express my gratefulness for your wonderful support!

 

In our conditions doctors are useless (if not dangerous) and it is practically impossible to be alone in this terrible withdrawal process, to not have somebody to tell you that you are doing the right thing or, just on the contrary, to warn you when making mistakes. Without the support from you and all your colleagues, I wouldn't have been able to hang in because I would have lost courage and hope in recovery. But I am hanging in...

 

Thanks a lot for reading my thread very thoroughly and telling me not to worry about the drug quantity because it is the right one. Of course I am keeping it as such.

 

Yes, that tryptophan proved to be a disaster, it complicated everything (when things were already so complicated).

 

I would only want to add that I practically lost my sleep (and I am afraid the big culprit is the tryptophan, it is after using it and not sleeping 3 successive night that I lost my sleep, no such problem before). After the disastrous tryptophan experience (included in a food supplement), I am very much afraid of any food supplement, I do not dare take melatonin as long as I am on paxil. It is also in your threads that I have found Alto's recommendation about lactium (milk peptide supplement) for insomnia, it seems to be the least dangerous. I found it here in France in the product called Seriane Sommeil which contains sea magnesium, lactium, vitamin B6 and lemon balm. I know from Petunia that vitamin B6 is not very good in withdrawal but there is no other product here based on lactium. Do you think I can try it in order to get some sleep?

 

My symptoms that have diminished a bit in the 3 weeks after reinstatement are: the dead feeling inside, the neck and shoulder pains and the restlessness in my limbs.

 

Once again, lots of thanks!

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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Dear All,

 

I am at the lowest point, the one where I can't see any light anymore, the complete loss of sleep turned everything into a continuous nightmare. All the WD symptoms are now much worsened. At the end of last week I couldn't sleep 3 successive nights, then there was one night of broken sleep using acupuncture needles. Then they didn't help anymore. I tried lactium tablets 2 nights ago without any success, maybe they were something too light. Last night I took melatonin, 0.50 mg first, one hour before bed, no effect, then anotjer 0.50, nothing. At midnight I took another 0.50 mg, I couldn't sleep a wink, the melatonin night was for me the worst of all. My brain was hyperactive (and I am feeling it like this most of the time), there was like adrenaline was running through all my body, I was more sweaty than ever in the morning. But even before the melatonin, I could not even doze off for a few min during the day, I am just a zombie.

 

I am going today to the pharmacy to give me some more powerful sleeping pills, I have no choice, I need to sleep somehow as I feel I am losing my life and my sanity. If you know a tablet which really makes sleep (to take it at least for a few days), please let me know. I do not even know how to find the energy to go to the pharmacy, I am so tired. I can only lie in bed awake. Appetite is lost too.

 

I do not know why this hyperactivity of the brain. I am just wondering, taking into account I followed James Heaney's method for reinstatement (subtracting 10% for each month of break), he says that after one month the 10% tapering can continue. (As I did not apply your method on 20 Feb, I didn't know about you). I say in sb's thread that he got some relief after a bit of tapering. Could it help me if I cut 10% or 5%? Could it reduce all this adrenaline rush and this total mental exhaustion?

 

Thank you very much,

 

O

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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PS - The brain became more hyperactive today after taking the paxil dose. And I realise now after reading my notes (daily monitoring) that this happened several times already.

 

I just called the pharmacy, I asked about Ambien which I found in the discussions about insomnia. They told me this is even stronger than Xanax! So I have no choice but to take some Xanax tonight, I can't continue like this, I am a wreck.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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I have had periods of awful insomnia in my taper so I know the fear. The very worst time I believed that my body literally didn't know how to sleep anymore, I went days and days without any. It was horrid. Something that helped me was to listen to a sleep CD over and over. I think it had subliminal messages and delta waves. I just lay in the dark and put it on repeat and after several hours I almost felt as if I had slept even if I didn't. It's also possible to be in the lightest stage of sleep and not even know you are sleeping. After 9 days I caved and took a small dose of Trazadone and the next day was able to finally get a few broken hours. Later, I was prescribed Ambien but only would take it when I hadn't slept for over 48 hours. The only reason I went 9 days before was because I only had over the counter meds and they didn't work.

 

Don't let the fear of not sleeping overwhelm you. Your body will absolutely sleep when it has to. Trying to sleep makes it worse. Just lie there and say to yourself you are resting. Look at Songbird's thread if you haven't already. She went through bad insomnia too and she has some good tips.

 

If you do take the Xanax I hope it works for you, and don't beat yourself up about it. Severe insomnia is awful, but IT WILL PASS and I promise you that. I haven't had to take Ambien in years. Just keep hanging on. Things will get better. ((HUGS))

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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I have had periods of awful insomnia in my taper so I know the fear. The very worst time I believed that my body literally didn't know how to sleep anymore, I went days and days without any. It was horrid. Something that helped me was to listen to a sleep CD over and over. I think it had subliminal messages and delta waves. I just lay in the dark and put it on repeat and after several hours I almost felt as if I had slept even if I didn't. It's also possible to be in the lightest stage of sleep and not even know you are sleeping. After 9 days I caved and took a small dose of Trazadone and the next day was able to finally get a few broken hours. Later, I was prescribed Ambien but only would take it when I hadn't slept for over 48 hours. The only reason I went 9 days before was because I only had over the counter meds and they didn't work.

 

Don't let the fear of not sleeping overwhelm you. Your body will absolutely sleep when it has to. Trying to sleep makes it worse. Just lie there and say to yourself you are resting. Look at Songbird's thread if you haven't already. She went through bad insomnia too and she has some good tips.

 

If you do take the Xanax I hope it works for you, and don't beat yourself up about it. Severe insomnia is awful, but IT WILL PASS and I promise you that. I haven't had to take Ambien in years. Just keep hanging on. Things will get better. ((HUGS))

 

Dear Ladybug,

 

I am very grateful for your incredibly kind support. I have just finished reading Songbird's thread that you recommended to me, I could see life is very tough to you presently (I wish you to find the good solution to this very soon because this is the least you need in wd), and you still find the strength to support me and advise me!

 

Yes, it is terrible this feeling when you think your body "literally doesn't know how to sleep anymore" and reading that you went days and days without any sleep makes me feel you are a very strong person. I am not, it is also the age, 68, after 3 nights of non-sleeping I was at the end of my resources.

 

I took the Xanax on Wed evening, you are right, I shouldn't beat myself up about it, I simply had no choice. So I slept the entire night and this gave me a bit of strength. But yesterday evening I was shopping in the supermarket, I was feeling anyway terribly unwell, I had the most overwhelming suicidal thoughts. I simply wanted to die as I could not see any way out of it. I also have a lot of problems producing stress in my life presently, because of wd  ​I am frightened about them, I cannot see anyway out, I just want to die to finish all this ordeal.

 

I do not know if it wasn't the Xanax that produced that terrible crave for dying.

 

Could you please tell me, from your experience and all your extensive reading and knowing many other cases, is it possible in my case after having done the reinstatement to get not so far from the stability I had most of the time when being on the drug? In a reasonable time I mean. Or I just entered withdrawal and now I am doomed for ever. It is a terrible feeling of being unwell all the time and a terrible fatigue, it seems like I would never get out of it.

 

Thank you, Ladybug!

 

O

 

PS - Last night I listened to some Jody Whiteley's recordings (recommended in the insomnia thread), it helped me get a few patches of sleep.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

Odwina.     It is possible to reach a certain stability , in the withdrawal process, if you taper slowly . If you take it carefully from hereon in , you should be able to maintain a good quality of life , in the process  of withdrawal . The insomnia , can certainly take a while , but you just have to hang in there.  If you can get to a point of " no medication"  for sleep  it will serve you well , in the future.  Drugs just exacerbate insomnia , and keep you from establishing a regular sleep cycle.

I would say that you can get almost as stable  as you were , and then taper off slowly , in a fashion that keeps you functioning normally & happily .

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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I do not know what is happening now, I have entered the suicidal phase. Yesterday evening it was a sudden desire to commit suicide, today it has been of continuous state of no hope to continue living, sheer despair, I just have the feeling of crawling away and die somewhere. That there is no point in anything. No zest for life, no spark in me, nothing. Is this the end of all?

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

Odwina.   The drugs can do this , particularly in withdrawal . These feelings can be side - effects. However , if you have these thoughts in a serious way   you have to get help on a  " one to one  " basis.  In other words , we are not equipped to deal with this situation. Can you call a therapist  / counselor / friend  or helpline ?

Often these feelings are temporary , and will subside, but if not ,   PLEASE GET HELP .

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

Link to comment

Odwina, what you are feeling is not at all unusual. I go through these periods of wanting to die frequently. Many of us here have. WD and tapering can get very difficult and when coupled with other stressors in life it can feel very overwhelming but you MUST hang on because it will get better. You are only a month into your reinstatement and many people find it takes longer than that to stabilize, but it will happen so you are in no way doomed forever. And, trust me I am NOT stronger than you or anyone else. I have had to fight my way through the dark times, and I am always glad I did. If I can so can you.

 

Like Ali said, these feelings are temporary and it does help to talk to someone. Maybe you can find a number in this thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7619-for-those-who-are-feeling-desperate-or-suicidal/

 

If you are desperate enough that you begin making serious plans then you absolutely need to get somewhere safe where people can look after you.

 

We care about you so much and know you can get through this. Please keep fighting, you are far more stronger than you think. ((HUGS))

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

Link to comment

Dear Ladibug, dear AliG,

 

Thank you ever so much for your wonderful and generous support.

 

For the time being I am not alone, otherwise I do not know what could happen. If I go to a hospital, they will give me a cocktail of drugs to put me to sleep and it would be the end.

 

The problem is that I am now almost continuously in a terrible state of panic. I am afraid of everything, I am afraid to do the smallest things, everything makes me panic. It must be a crash,  a nervous breakdown. How can I get out of this? What can I do? It is like worse and worse every day, it is neverending.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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Odwina.     These symptoms are frightening , but at the same time , not unusual here.  Most of us have been through similar feelings.  I say this , not to minimize what you are going through , but to empathize , and say that we understand. Some deep breathing will help and just know these symptoms can't hurt you . Breathe through them , if you can .

 

It's been 4.5 months since you quit the drug, and there have been a lot of changes in your life, as well as withdrawal .

 

I notice that you have recently moved , back to France.  Six days later you reinstated .  That move  would have been stressful , and could have added to your symptoms.

CC posted some links  , which might be worth re- reading , on anxiety and how to deal with it .

Try , if you can to stay out of hospital . It will only complicate matters.

You might want to look at a micro - taper. As Ladybug said, many have had success withdrawing off  Paxil, in this manner .

Please have a read through these links.  They might help answer some questions, and give you some tips , to help you cope .

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases

 

I hope you feel better , soon .

 

Hugs, Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Dear AliG,

 

Yes, I have realised that no matter how tempting the hospital idea sounds, it would be the worst idea as they know nothing about withdrawal. I am going tomorrow back to Romania, in fact my friend is dragging me there (being from Romania) to have again a bit of acupuncture treatment to alleviate a bit these terrible treatment. But I was in a state of panic even to do my luggage, and the whole idea of travelling is most scary. But I lost my sleep and my friend is now as desperate as I not knowing what to do anymore. The doctors here know only about Xanax.

 

I went through all these links as much as I could, tried all the tips about sleeping, they did not work unfortunately for me and in my case melatonin only worsened, I didn't sleep a wink the night I took it. I cant continue with Xanax as I understand very well based on your support that this would complicate my situation even more.

 

I am also very worried about the paxil quantity, when I woke up today and yesterday I was in a bad state but after taking the drug anxiety became paroxistic, nothing could soothe it, yes, I tried all the possible hypnosis programs on youtube, did all the possible tricks, nothing worked. I really do not know what to do about this. Please advise me.

 

Many, many thanks!

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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I am feeling like my brain is overactive all the time (I think this is what prevents my sleeping too) and that I am very-very ill.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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Are you still taking Melatonin?  I would keep on with that at a low dose  - 0.25 mg . It can take a while . Consistency is important .  Give it a few weeks.  It can help some people.

 

I deal with insomnia  ( in withdrawal ) as well . I'm up all night,  4- 5  nights a week . I have learned not to panic ,and to just deal with it.   That's just the way , right now . It won't always be like this , but a certain acceptance is " calming " to the body & soul . 

 

You are not very ill . You are just going through the changes of your body & brain adjusting , to having the drug " yanked " away and then a little " put back " . It will take time to get back to a state of homeostasis or equilibrium .

 

When you say you're worried about Paxil quantity , do you mean you think you are on too much ?   Are you sensitive to it ?   Do you feel you are having an adverse effect , from it ?  What other symptoms are you having ?

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Dear AliG,

 

I stopped taking melatonin after the first night because that night I could not stop at all. Without melatonin I could sleep about 1-2 hours. I use youtube hypnosis for this to help me  bit.

 

Oh, AliG, you have so much strength! You are giving me so much courage when your insomnia is even more terrible than mine.

 

Yes, I keep having this sensation that it is too much drug. About 1 hour after taking the drug, and now I have monitored myself very closely, I feel that my brain becomes even more hyperactive and the anxiety increases.

 

I have also noticed another difference: first 2.5 weeks after reinstatement I had some terrible crises but between them I also had hours of feeling better or even 1-2 days of feeling better per week. Now overall I feel more unwell (it has been like this this week), and now it is continuous, this being so unwell never lifts.

 

I know that with benzos it is possible to split the dose, but with paxil I don't think I can try to take a part of the drug in the morning (the most part) and a smaller part in the evening to see if I still have this terrible overactivity and anxiety after taking the usual dosage. I take now liquid, 7 ml (14 mg equivalent).

 

My friend is desperate that I won't be able to fly tomorrow (it will be a long journey with plain changing and taxi), he has to go back there but he doesn't want to let me here alone as he is so afraid sth very bad can happen. He is also desperate and wants both of us to leave to find a bit of alleviation (which acupuncture has given to me before, unfortunately I cant find a good acupuncturist here).

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

Link to comment

As far as I know you can split the dose. 10mg in  the morning , and the rest in the afternoon .  It might be worth a go .

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

Link to comment

I really do not know what to do and of course that I am afraid, somebody some time ago who made a paxil cold turkey and afterwards studied a lot about paxil withdrawal told me that I am not allowed to do this because paxil is an anti-depressant and it has this 24-hour release time. I saw another member of this site, Claudiu, he says somewhere he had big problems when doing this and that it was big mistake. I don't know if this was only his experience, I couldn't find more information on the site.

 

I do not know what is certain anymore - for me logically it would be to be able to split the dose - and see if I feel better during the day. But I am so worried as I know that anything can make this paxil demon behave even more terribly (I am afraid there are no limits in becoming worse).

 

I do not also know what to do about tomorrow when I should travel, I will leave 5 am from here and be at the destination late in the evening. At 9 am I should take my daily dose, I am so afraid of becoming then very sick and then stop the journey and put into a hospital. And I am also afraid of splitting the dose and making it worse. Please advise.

- on Paxil for more than 20 years, usual dosage 20 mg, in times of crises 40 or 60 mg (once even 80 for a few months!)

 - 9 November 2015 - quit Paxil practically cold turkey (3 weeks tapering)

- 20 Feb 2016 - after 3.5 months on zero drug reinstated 14 mg paxil because of entering unbearable protracted wd

- reinstatement brought no relief, only worse, terrible akhatisia crises, sleep lost completely till I finally understood that my brain could no longer accept the slightest dose of paxil, so tapering after reinstatement became impossible

6 May - 1 October 2016 - in psychiatric clinic in France where I was given: Quitaxon (doxepine),  a tricyclic  - 50 mg - 6 weeks, no improvement, very bad side effects; doctor tried paxil again at only 5 mg and I became suicidal

- then Lexapro, 15 June - end August, very gradual increasing to 15 mg - zomboid only, released from clinic and had to be reatmitted after only a few days. remeron tried too, rejected violently by the body

- 1 sept 2015 - back in clinic changed directly  for Effexor over 4 weeks rising from 37.5 to 187.5 mgs at discharge on 2nd October; 12 October 2015 - decided tapering effexor as it only made me very sick, every 3 weeks dropped 37.5 mg

- 26 Dec - zero effexor, tried prozac and then clomipramine bridge, both rejected

 

 

 

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